Thursday Funnies

Laughing-Buddha - Copy

Christmas Bizarre So, THIS is what the "ideal org" in the "first scientology city" is up to.... Selling jewelry, flowers and trinkets. At least there is some exchange.   Freedumb Mag is recruiting... I would normally have made this its own article, but there is no much to cover that I put it in here. I was sent this email by 9 different people yesterday. Apparently LD Sledge has quite a mailing list of former church members! What is so amusing about this is not just that "Freedom" is opening a "full newsroom" (?) but they are using a public scientologist to try and recruit … [Read more...]

LA Org Bodyrouting

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  A report sent in by a Special Correspondent concerning the reports of LA Org SO members on a bodyrouting binge "bringing in 600 new people for an intro service each week." Surprisingly, that may be a bit of an exaggeration....   On a sunny Sunday afternoon we decided it was time to check out the hunting grounds for LA ORG . We wanted to see what is up with the claimed 600 bodies flooding the org every week. So we took a 40 minute observation sample. A crew of 10-12 Sea Org body routers were strategically positioned on the four corners of the Sunset/Vermont … [Read more...]

More GAG II Hype

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Another report on the glorious wonderment of flag and its incredibly impressive statistics (unless you actually think about them rather than just read the exclamation points and assume it's "amazing"). The clubbed seals are applauding loudly. This dose of donkey droppings presented as plum pudding comes from Sabine Peschken, once the CO WISE International. She fell from grace many years ago, but I had not heard of her until she reappeared as a Flag money-grubber in Australia. Here is her gibberish, followed by some comments: THIS IS THE 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE FLAG BUILDING … [Read more...]

ASHO Is Booming. NOT

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More "good news" for those who love Bad News. The air has gone out of the hype balloon that was the Pacifica Ideal Bridge. Remember, ASHO used to be two separate orgs, now combined into one... And they are now crowing about their incredible statistics: If "virtually every preclear completing the SRD and going into the HGC goes Clear within 2-4 weeks" how can they ONLY have made 17 Clears in 2 months??? That means that have a grand total of 8 people in the HGC (giving them the benefit of the doubt and taking the 4 weeks figure). And that is with 24 auditors. A 3 to 1 auditor to pc … [Read more...]

It’s ALL About The Money.

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Here is yet ANOTHER "seminar" on making money pushed by the "church" of scientology. It's thrust upon the world by the "Senior Administrative Consultant" (whatever that is?) of the "new" LA Org. Obviously a Sea Org member, as everyone in LA Org is now SO, which makes this guy an expert on money -- he rakes in and manages an annual income of $2500 in a good year. Of course, what would a scientology promotional piece be without a glaring typo -- commonly in the headline as here (also check out the copyright notice). For good measure, and just to reinforce the point, though in point … [Read more...]

“Ideal Orgs” — Baffle Them With BS

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Tony Ortega already included a bunch of this series of posters in his Sunday Funnies last week -- but he left some out (there are 13 of them in total). Two I felt were important as they highlight points made by David Miscavige where he sold the brilliance of his "ideal org" strategy. Just think about this for a second. This is taken from the original Miscavige sales pitch on "why ideal orgs?" But it makes absolutely NO sense. He had used the analogy of an auditing session to sell the original GAT and how you could not deliver a standard session unless you had all the elements … [Read more...]

Thursday Funnies

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Masters of MES Not doing so well on the Time part. These are two of the four invitations received on the SAME DAY by a single person. Two for the 7:00pm version of the event and two for the 7:30 version -- both at the Ft Harrison because apparently they can no longer fill Ruth Eckerd.   Gavin Potter. Again. David Miscavige's clone is back to teach you once again how to make money to give to the church. I bet he attracted a massive crowd in Inglewood. Talk about a fish out of water....       The dianetics volcano and 47X expansion graph This is … [Read more...]

Scientology’s PR Trainwreck

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The Scientology PR machine is rolling... Like a runaway train on a toboggan ride down the Matterhorn (to steal some shermanspeak). They not only have the international news of the announcement of Alex Gibney's scientology film premiering at Sundance next month, (and a tongue in cheek statement from HBO about having 160 lawyers being picked up internationally to set the mood and get a LOT of people wanting to watch it to see what the noise is all about), now they have a new video of bizarre bubble behavior leaking out into the real world with Cathy Fraser and Co "confronting and shattering" … [Read more...]

The Greatest Event Ever – Til The Next One

NY Event

Well, this should be interesting. The largest scientology community on earth is getting going early on the hard sell to show up to see the David Miscavige show live. I hope someone in LA will sacrifice themselves for 3 hours of pain so we get a report on the attendance and activities. It will be VERY telling how full the Shrine is. If they cannot round up 6300 people from all over California, including all the Sea Org staff and all those ideal orgs, it would be a VERY poor show. In fact, according to the hype, they are coming from all over the world. I guess they ALREADY know they cannot … [Read more...]

Conversations With Scientologists

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A couple of people have recently sent me copies of email correspondence they have had with people in the church. They were not working together, but both hit upon the same concept:  responding to church efforts to get new people in or collect money from existing public and using this as an opportunity to present some facts to people they might not otherwise be able to reach. It is also interesting to see the reactions, responses and "pitches" that are employed. This first is with a Mission who had advertised a Big League Sales Seminar. The responses from the mission person are in … [Read more...]

Flag’s “Late Breaking (No Longer Good) News”

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After months of publishing his "Good News" briefings in inverted commas, Jeff Mintz has now changed the title to "Late Breaking" news. Whatever he wants to call it -- it's a really poor show. He might as well take the same figures every week and just change the date. This is LOOOONG term flat (Emergency condition).  Month after month. And if there was any international expansion happening in scientology, it would have shown up at Flag by now. After all, it's nearly twenty years since the "Golden Age Of Tech" and more than a decade since the "Ideal Orgs Strategy" and more than a year since … [Read more...]

Pleeeeeease Come Back…

suckers

With a special offer like this -- a FREE 6 month membership (that anyone gets just for turning over their name and email address) -- how could you resist? But you have to get in NOW because this "offer" only lasts until 31 December. At that point they will send out a "new" offer of a free 6 month membership. Even something as stupid as this has to be a lie. But of course, this IS "the most successful and effective group in the world." Also the most modest. And honest. One thing that IS interesting is that it proves they have records of EVERYONE, and pretty accurate ones. This … [Read more...]

A Price Rise Is Coming

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Buy now! There is no reason on earth to further increase the price of these already absurdly over-priced books and CD's other than to try and increase immediate sales. Miscavige has been promoting for years how all books are printed "in house" in "state of the art printing facilities" and the same with the CD's. And they are all produced with Sea Org lower than third world wage workers. And yet what costs 20 cents to produce (a CD) is sold for $40. And the only real cost of the books is the paper (which they of course buy in bulk) and shipping (in containers) so a book that costs $4 to … [Read more...]

Thursday Funnies

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    Likely it will be omitted... There are dozens, if not hundreds, of people who have been PROMISED exactly this, but because they no longer goosestep in lockstep, their names don't appear on the plaque in the building they gave a great deal of money to purchase. They are prevented from even entering "their" building, but of course, they don't get their money back. And by the time they get around to opening these things, there will be hundreds and thousands more long gone... Maybe they should put up a chalkboard listing the names rather than an engraved … [Read more...]