Thursday Funnies

DOG

ASHO Come and train on "the Basics" at ASHO. It's all they've got.... Strange though because ASHO isn't for new public, so how is it that 8 YEARS after the release of the Basics that were the "big thing" everyone had to do in 2007, there are still people who haven't done them?   Stage an OTC Meeting for MV! There's nothing like some group agreement that everyone is going to fake it for MV. It's like an arms race. If you don't fake it, you will look bad by comparison as everyone knows everyone fakes it. Hi Team Valley, It is needed to have more footage of Valley and the … [Read more...]

Flag “Arrivals”

MTA-Bus-empty

Some more drivel from the OT Committee Chairman Flag. But it gives some interesting insight into what it means when Miscavige or Freedom mag claims there are "2000 people on lines at Flag at any given time." You can see what the Flag OT Committee counts as "starts" -- anyone, anywhere OR AN EXTENSION COURSE! This is desperation. Really, with the Golden Age of Tech II flooding people up the Bridge, with more ideal orgs than ever, the release of Super Power and the Running Program, more IAS Dissemination Campaigns than ever in history, a massive internet presence and interest in … [Read more...]

Flag The Quickiest Place In The World

speedy

Crazy Edy is at it again. This woman was once posted as the Quality Executive International! And now is shouting "speed of auditing results" from the rooftops (and offering coupons for smoothies to encourage you go to Flag to be wallet raped by the battalion of regges). Hi, Right now there is no better time to go to Flag and get onto New OT VII!   It is fast and we have unique offers to make it more affordable. Here is how long some recent public took to Stay All The Way to New OT VII: 1. Idan Gov Ari from Isreal did Solo II, OT Elig, OT I, OT II, OT III, OT IV, OT V, OT VI A, OT … [Read more...]

Clearing The Planet

EARTH

There are SO many things wrong with this latest email -- though the huge elephant in the room is that in order to "clear the planet" she is proud of the fact that they "[re]make a Clear every 3 hours." That is 8 per day. Or about 50 per week... For 150 orgs that is about 1 per MONTH on average. But worse, she is apparently oblivious to the fact that the population of this planet increases by 8561 people per hour. If you were asserting you were creating a room full of white sand by adding 3 grains every hour, but failed to mention 8561 black grains were being poured into that same room … [Read more...]

Ideal Org Reality

DALLAS2

Here is a dose of reality about an actual "ideal org." Rather than the pretense presented in the events and PR publications. This org was opened in April 2009 by David Miscavige hisself with one of his usual grandiloquent speeches. All about how this "new org" was going to bring spiritual freedom to Texas and more blah blah about the massive expansion it org represents. Here is the "technical team" of Dallas "ideal" org: There are missions in Third World countries with bigger "tech teams" than this. And here is some insight into the state of their grand premises: They … [Read more...]

Flag World Tour Is Coming

FWT

  And they are coming in force, because Flag is empty.   I guess they don't have anyone to keep them busy AT Flag, so they are sending TWENTY TWO people to LA to be the "Flag World Tour." Twenty two people in addition to the 20 or so that are in the FSC WUS Office. Here is a recent message that was sent out. Hello! With the release of the Golden Age of Tech Phase II, there has never been a better time to come in and get moving on your route to Clear and OT. As it is my intention to see that you make it all the way, and to help you get there, the Model Ideal … [Read more...]

Thursday Funnies

98fl3-happy-face

Flag Scraping The Barrel Somehow this image is just perfect. What assholes. Go scrape up some "unreported" stats so we can "present them to COB" for Maiden Voyage. They must "downstat" so it's time to "get creative." Doing the impossible... And that is "arriving at the org for this briefing." Thinking big!   Another gift "from COB" Wow, how generous. Buy me a building and I will have someone buy you a juicer (to squeeze every last drop?) and then say it's from me. It's like the old LRH "beer and cheese party" caper. He didn't pay a … [Read more...]

Tom Cruise — The Best Scientologist I Know

hqdefault

Well, subtract one from the 2 billion people Tom Cruise has "disseminated" Scientology to. Simon Pegg revealed in an interview yesterday that Tom Cruise has never spoken to him about Scientology. And this stretches back to around the time Mr. Cruise was presented the Freedom Medal of Valor for being the greatest disseminator in the history of history. Except he doesn't do one on one apparently. Or perhaps Simon Pegg wasn't a big enough being to deserve it? After all, it is a privilege to call yourself a scientologist. But doesn't Miscavige want MORE celebrities? This does raise an … [Read more...]

“Just because you break the financial rules…”

johnhead-Copy

This email pretty much encapsulates the "think" of the fundamentalist scientologist. Clubbed seals who have totally bought into the "ideal org" "strategy" and who firmly and stubbornly believe that they can do no wrong (i.e. "it isn't an overt") if they are forwarding the survival of "the church." See text in red below (all of it is wacky, the red bits especially so).   ---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: East US Ideal Org Team <cloeus@scientology.net> Date: Sun, May 10, 2015 at 4:44 PM Subject: Getting Your Org Ideal To: I want to give you my most … [Read more...]

David Miscavige — Ugly American Abroad

MiscavigeBasel

Miscavige is so out of touch with reality, that he no doubt doesn't realize how arrogant and condescending he sounds. This is from the report on the ribbon yanking ceremony in Basel -- as found at scientology.org. Switzerland is a nation long renowned for its exquisite craftsmanship of everything from watches to pocketknives and culinary delicacies that remain the envy of the world. And consistent with that uncompromising emphasis on quality, the first Scientology Ideal Organization (Org) in that European nation’s dazzling history opened its doors to a grateful public on Saturday in … [Read more...]

IAS Volunteer Minister Scam

COS-VM-Van

The latest edition of Impact magazine, the propaganda and fundraising rag of the IAS is devoted almost exclusively to the "Volunteer Ministers" and the "massive" international relief efforts they engage in "thanks to the IAS." Of course, those who are not blinded by KoolAid know this is a scam, that virtually NO money is spent on any of these things, and in fact the "relief efforts" are miniscule. Always just enough to get a photo or video or a person or two, and then everyone loses interest and moves onto the next fundraising effort. Nobody hears anything about the Philippines or Vanatau … [Read more...]

It’s Dianetics Day – Fundraising’s Up

WEEKLY

The latest promotional item from the First Bankrupted Continent has dispensed with any pretense about the purpose of the May 9th event. It used to be a celebration of the anniversary of Dianetics. At one point it was even an "International Event" though as time went on "COB" found it too much of a strain to attend the March 13th event and then prepare for Maiden Voyage in June AND have to do a May 9th event in between. So, he sent the "B Team." Nowadays, there isn't even a pretense of that. The event is a "non-event" with "local speakers" and little or nothing of note. They don't even … [Read more...]