Clear Certainty Is A Clear Fail

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Remember back in early July the "new" Clear Certainty Rundown was announced. It was version 3 of something that Miscavige had earlier brought "totally in tech" and "exactly as LRH wanted it." And at the time, there was much hype about how every org is sending a "Clear Certainty Team" to Flag for a fast training program. Only take a week or two. Well, now nearly 2 months later only ONE team has apparently completed and returned to their org in WUS. And you can bet they are ahead of the non-US areas, and probably EUS too. This is typical of any of these training programs at Flag. They run … [Read more...]

Finally, Scrooge Subsidizes Valley Idle Org

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It's just too damned embarrassing. Even though they STILL haven't made their "ballpark figure" to able allowed to get started on getting a final figure for construction, it seems Uncle Scrooge McDuck is going to chip in the last few million and get them rolling. (Though it could be that this is just another of their numerous false promises about how close they are to being done....) But it seems unlikely because this is the pattern happening around the world now.  They will keep squeezing the local orgs for everything they can get out of them, but in the interim, Scrooge has opened … [Read more...]

It’s The Old Buy A Building Trick

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After a lean period in the ideal world, things are hopping again. Rabbits are being pulled out of the hat once more to prove that the massive international expansion that COP keeps talking about is real. They are now promoting "5 ideal org in 4 months" and "We are opening an ideal org every month for the rest of the year and have just opened Tokyo and Bogota then it will be Harlem, Milano and Atlanta." Of course, this is typical scientology math. If they open these 5 ideal orgs by the end of this year, it will be 5 in 6 months, not 5 in 4. Bogota was opened in July. But what's a little … [Read more...]

Miami Ballpark Completion (not really)…

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Hooray, Miami finally completed their ballpark. I understand from watching Jon Oliver's show that it has fishtanks in the walls behind homeplate (something to do with the team being the Marlins apparently). Oh, my error. Apparently this has something to do with ideal orgs. And it seems, in spite of the headline, they didn't actually complete raising the "ballpark figure" -- a euphemism for some interim step they can announce as a "completion" -- because after a LOOONG time "Mighty Miami" is still not capable of getting and completing an ideal org building. In fact, they constantly tout … [Read more...]

Nashville “Ideal” Org

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Here is what an ideal org REALLY is. Tony Ortega recently posted some photos and a report from someone in Nashville. Who knows over what period these completions have happened. Probably months to accumulate this feeble page. Just take a gander at the details. John and Jennifer Pantermuehl are OT 7's (Jenna Miscavige Hill's aunt and uncle on her mother's side) who completed the SRD. The entirety of the "Academy" completions is two STUDENT HAT courses. Not a single auditor training course. Not a single Grade Chart auditing completion other than the aforementioned … [Read more...]

The Epic Summer Of Scientology, Auspicious Ribbon-Cuttings And Other Hilarity

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Fortunately, someone from the church sends me a "good news" email (from email2you@hushmail.com) to keep me abreast of the latest stories released by scientology. The latest is worthy of comment for a few reasons. Here it is, the big news from Tokyo....   First thought. Chairman of the Pompadour is looking more and more like Bob Duggan and that hair is becoming almost Don King-like.  It seems to have taken on a life of its own... Second, "Epic Summer" is a bit weak. Epic has been so over-used now to describe everything from the next graduation you must attend to the last … [Read more...]

The Idiocy Is Multiplying

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These ideal org promotional pieces are getting crazier and crazier. I wasnt sure there was anywhere to descend to, but this one really goes beyond bizarre. 1.2 million miles flown in honor of ideal orgs? WTF does that mean? Flown by whom? Why? And can you believe those names? It's like Grade School debate team names. Second to none in Chicago?  Well, second to Miami and Detroit. Orlando - Bringing the Real Magic (it's quite a trick to be beaten by Puerto Rico, Battle Creek and Long Island.... The next ideal org ballpark completion is on the runway. Ladies and gentlemen, we … [Read more...]

Cheapo Rates

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Boy, here is some really good news from Tampa model ideal SH size org. For the paltry sum of $13,750 you can CO-AUDIT your way to Clear (you will also need the new GOAT CCRD after that and they won't give it to you for free, but you will sort of be clear, at least as clear as you can be without having someone else verify you are not clear so you can be sold some more stuff). But Thomas, don't you realize NOBODY is ever "in your area." Nobody lives in that area. It's tourists and people from Tampa eating out at night. Maybe a few people pass within 1/2 mile on their way to Ikea. And if … [Read more...]

Valley Hype Rides Again

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Quinn the Eskimo is back, back, back!!!!! And he rode triumphantly into town armed with a quiver full of exclamation points and a hefty garbage bag full of hype. The ridiculousness of this email has got to be seen to be believed. From all the earlier hype you may have been wondering just how close they were to achieving their goal of being able to begin construction. Well, Quinn has kindly solved the problem. It's just a "nominal" "Ballpark balance" of $2,100,000. Chickenfeed. Could buy a nice building for this org that would be too big with that "nominal" amount. Just … [Read more...]

Why Bogota?

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If it was a puzzle why Bogota Colombia "ideal" org was done before say Harlem or Auckland or Silicon Valley or Valley or any of the others we have been hearing about for some time as being "next" and "most important." I think Ethan Hunt accidentally spilled the beans at the world premiere of MI5 as he explained to the The Hollywood Reporter. Of course, there is a long history of ideal org planning being done so "Mr. Cruise" would not have to be ashamed by the state of the local small and failing scientology outpost -- all the way back to the very first "ideal orgs" in New York (where … [Read more...]