The Idiocy Is Multiplying

EUS2

These ideal org promotional pieces are getting crazier and crazier. I wasnt sure there was anywhere to descend to, but this one really goes beyond bizarre. 1.2 million miles flown in honor of ideal orgs? WTF does that mean? Flown by whom? Why? And can you believe those names? It's like Grade School debate team names. Second to none in Chicago?  Well, second to Miami and Detroit. Orlando - Bringing the Real Magic (it's quite a trick to be beaten by Puerto Rico, Battle Creek and Long Island.... The next ideal org ballpark completion is on the runway. Ladies and gentlemen, we … [Read more...]

Cheapo Rates

Print

Boy, here is some really good news from Tampa model ideal SH size org. For the paltry sum of $13,750 you can CO-AUDIT your way to Clear (you will also need the new GOAT CCRD after that and they won't give it to you for free, but you will sort of be clear, at least as clear as you can be without having someone else verify you are not clear so you can be sold some more stuff). But Thomas, don't you realize NOBODY is ever "in your area." Nobody lives in that area. It's tourists and people from Tampa eating out at night. Maybe a few people pass within 1/2 mile on their way to Ikea. And if … [Read more...]

Valley Hype Rides Again

Planet-Hype

Quinn the Eskimo is back, back, back!!!!! And he rode triumphantly into town armed with a quiver full of exclamation points and a hefty garbage bag full of hype. The ridiculousness of this email has got to be seen to be believed. From all the earlier hype you may have been wondering just how close they were to achieving their goal of being able to begin construction. Well, Quinn has kindly solved the problem. It's just a "nominal" "Ballpark balance" of $2,100,000. Chickenfeed. Could buy a nice building for this org that would be too big with that "nominal" amount. Just … [Read more...]

Why Bogota?

tomcruisedavidmiscavige

If it was a puzzle why Bogota Colombia "ideal" org was done before say Harlem or Auckland or Silicon Valley or Valley or any of the others we have been hearing about for some time as being "next" and "most important." I think Ethan Hunt accidentally spilled the beans at the world premiere of MI5 as he explained to the The Hollywood Reporter. Of course, there is a long history of ideal org planning being done so "Mr. Cruise" would not have to be ashamed by the state of the local small and failing scientology outpost -- all the way back to the very first "ideal orgs" in New York (where … [Read more...]

We’re Just Getting Started – After 12 Years

TORTOISE

David Miscavige made an appearance in the UK over the weekend to help usher in the monumental new era of expansion that is about to begin with the "ideal" CLO UK. You can bet those managers who have raised the UK to such heights will be managing ever so much better from new desks with some fresh carpet. Nothing like some fresh carpet to make someone into a more competent manager. Apparently obsessed with ribbon yanking, the Chairman of the Pompadour (the hair is a straight up and vertical VO5 masterpiece) flitted over to the UK to bask in the glory of all he has accomplished with his "ideal … [Read more...]

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes…

mark-twain

This is old, I just haven't had space to include it and give it the notice it so well deserves. Clearly, the staff of organizations are aware of the state of their field. It is a dismal scene. No doubt they hear it repeatedly. It apparently never enters their mind to wonder why: 1. So many of their "parishioners" have no money or are in debt and think that every call is about fundraising 2. Or why, when they have the tech of life itself and the answers to being cause over MEST that so many of their people have messed up, out of control lives 3. Or why if they DO have the most … [Read more...]

Valley Vulgarity

LEGEND

It never stops getting worse. Now they have cool white leather jackets with a "V for Vendetta" symbol on them to accompany the Vendetta lapel pin. And this fine piece of 80's disco throwback attire can be yours to proudly display as your latest status symbol for a small, one time payment of just $25,000. They made the announcement at the latest Valley OTC meeting: Fundraising status: $2.3 million left to finish New Legends game to finish: $25,000 – get beautiful pin and ‘V’ on Honor Roll Just think, they only need to unload 100 of these babies. They can put … [Read more...]

Witness The Turning Point

Screenshot-334

Oh, to be in the UK today for this MONUMENTAL MILESTONE event. The apex of the vortex of the universe. The planet is about to shift on its axis. The entire continent is going to move into full on continental clearing mode. Its imminent... A Clear UK. Miscavige is SOO desperate to have anything to show the clubbed seals that he is resorting to Potemkin Villages in Clearwater and renovating a building across the road from St Hill (as if there isn't enough room at St Hill to cater to the 25 public and manage a continent of failed orgs (and 2 missions). As they say, NO ideal orgs in … [Read more...]

The Sad Lies They Tell Themselves

IDEAL ORGS

Line after line plucked from the imaginary world of ideal orgs... The first para seems almost normal, and it falls to pieces immediately thereafter. I think the Idea Org strategy is the smartest, most intelligent strategy possible. And the facts that led you to that conclusion are? After 13 years not even half the orgs have achieved this preliminary step to "clearing their area" and not a single "ideal org" has significantly expanded or opened new missions and groups in its zone. Many cannot pay their bills. Most are completely empty. And then there are all the buildings sitting … [Read more...]

The Valley – Still Crazy After All These Years

LEGEND

OK, shred your commendations. Hide you "Humanitarian" cards. Give your special bronze, silver and gold Valley hard hats to the nearest construction site. Send your Infinity Club leather jackets to the Salvation Army. Valley has a NEW status symbol. You don't want to be caught not keep up with the Joneses (Cartwrights?) and have an OLD status symbol do you? Of course not. Those hard hats are so April. And the jackets are positively last year. It's time for you to get yourself a "Legend Pin" which you can proudly display alongside your numerous IAS pins. No self-respecting Valley … [Read more...]