Sell Sell Sell Those Warehouse VIIIs

Sellsellsell2Predictably, the heavy sales demand is rolling out now on the Warehouse VIII.

The middle of the night calls… 

The regges banging on your door….

The endless emails…

Every staff member in every org “selling”…

Wonder how long it will be before someone comes up with a “donations” campaign so they can sell more than 2 to the whales?  

But there is good news — if your org sells 100 meters (15,000 divided by 150 orgs — 5,000 for initial sales at FSO and SO Orgs) before the end of the year, you get a box of goodies to SHARE amongst all the staff AND it is wrapped in silver paper! Bridge’s profit on 100 meters would be in the region of $200,000, maybe more, on 10,000 would be $20,000,000 — but who is counting….

Just illustrates once again the astonishing gap between the “haves” and the “have-nots” in Scientology.  They actually think they are making a magnificent gesture of holiday generosity to the staff by offering a vague “gift basket” for making them millions in profit.  

But even more interesting is what this tells us about the size of the church of Scientology. All S0lo auditors must have 2 Warehouses. Org auditors and field auditors (if there are any left at all anywhere) and mission auditors have got to have 2 and those in training have to have 1. So, to meet their 20,000 target they need maybe 15,000 customers. For sure, this target of 20,000 is completely unreal — no target set is ever close to real, especially when it is a target related to trying to “make COB right.”  It is probably double or triple what is realistic (being VERY conservative — it could be 10 times what is realistic and it would not surprise me).  But let’s take it as only double. That means 7500 people internationally. And remember, everyone is expected to get their Warehouse NOW NOW NOW…. They sat for 9 years, but now, it would be utter CI to Command Intention not to get it AT ONCE.

And thus, we can conclude that the church isnt thinking they have more than 7500 internationally that are going to get a Warehouse. While they continue to promote how close they are “10,000 on or through Solo NOTs”.




  1. Just Me says

    What the ….?! You weren’t kidding. They actually said that. In writing. And published it. They’re crazy.

    • Mike Rinder says

      JM, yes crazy they be.

      But I think more significantly they are deluded. They not only cannot think for themselves, they just can no longer think at all. They are unaware of consequences of their statements or actions. If they are told to stand on their heads and pee they will dutifully drink a gallon of water and assume the upside down position. They know with idiotic certainty that this is the “right thing to do” because they have been TOLD it is the right thing to do. And told by authority. And that authority holds their very existence in His hands as if He says they are no longer worthy, they have lost their only chance at salvation and their “eternity” has been snatched from them.

      They are really not too far away from the fundamentalists that strap on bombs to blow up buses or hold up signs “God hates fags” at the funerals for gay soldiers. Or any of the other deluded and crazy things that people do when they are under the spell of the word of God (as interpreted by some prophet).

      • says

        Sounds as though LRH was correct in making the Consequences Rundown part of Super Power for staff. Wonder what happened to that in DM’s new improved Super Power!

    • says

      Yes, its an admission that they have only 20,000 public. Actually, way less, since orgs need to stock up on e-meters for future customers, some may break and need replacing, etc.

      • Idle Morgue says

        Correction jgg2012- 10,000 members – remember, each person buys TWO!! They don’t even have 10,000 worldwide…I would guess more like 3,000!! The church of scientology is going down…and more are gonna leave with the buy, buy, buy…because no one has any money that is left in the cult with the exception of Cruise, Travolta and Krustie Alley!

  2. says

    Michael, my friend. I miss the communication. I hope that your family has the best holiday season. Rhetorical question that we all already know the answer to.


    Why would you need a “game” to “sell Rons vision”?

    This is supposed to be serious tech here. How could this possibly be a game?

    I mean does not literally EVERY single Co$ member not already know about the release of this things?

    Their vernacular is silly & seems stuck in the 80s. Like the meter itself.

    Can you imagine these Millionaire whales sitting around with fake smiles……. the entire family has I-pods & I Pads & I phones – you know the best technology that can be purchased currently and here they have to buy this…..this ….. ????

    WTF is THIS?!

    I do not see how even ONE current Co$ member does not look at one of these Emeters, look down at the price tag & then laugh their way right out of the building.

    I need two of these pieces of sh*t? You have got to be kidding!

    Ive never seen an meter in real life, but I can not imagine this thing has a USB port or is updated with the latest technology, but I could be wrong.

    Anyway, always watching with amusement from afar.

    Cheers my friend.

    Michael (BMOkc)

  3. Dani Lemberger says

    Well done on the numbers math, Mike, though I think their profit per meter is more than $2,000, if i follow you.
    They are fair in giving us advance warning about what’s to come. If this is only GAT Phase II, they must have GAT Phases III, IV, V and beyond in the planning. DM will always be creative in figuring out new ways to fix Ron’s Tech.
    Like GM is already working on its car models for 2015 or 2018, so they too need to re-invent the Tech. How else are they gonna make a living or keep the masses excited?

    • Mike Rinder says

      Well, they still have OT IX and X to dangle out there. They’ve been forgotten for a while, but they are about to make a comeback — ghosts of Christmas past?

      • indie8million says

        There’s a ghost I’d like to see created but I can’t really say that or we’ll all be in trouble. The well known “He” would look very good in a red devil suit. Lord knows he won’t be in white, flowing robes.

      • Cooper kessel says

        My perceptions say that the IX and X levels will be HIS justifier (spelled reason to the sheeple) for a stage exit left.

        “Gotta go now……………..too much distraction around here and you f%&king slackards have obviously not been able to create a safe enough space for me to get all of the final data compiled for the eminent release of the ultimate and most fantastic bombastic ultimate never before seen in this sector of the universe rocket ride OT levels. So, I am going to a location where I can have undisturbed theta comm with LRH and wrap up the work he spent his whole life trying to make available to you slothful mother f%&kers.” Now, where did I put my cash box ….?

        Go Dave! You can run but you will never hide. The IP address on Lou’s phone will be blinking somewhere……..

  4. hansje brinker says

    Funny: “The target is set on 20,000 publics……”..
    That means: Everybody who is still left in the church.

    • Just Me says

      Excellent point. And per Mike’s logic (7,500 is the actual possible target) there are 7,500 serious KA-guzzlers left.

      IAS members will also be leaned on to purchase and donate Warehouse models to their orgs for use by auditors, examiners, sec-checkers, etc.

    • Kevin says

      How dare you! Didn’t you hear Kirstie Alley on Howard Stern last week when she said there were “tens of millions of Scientologists”!

      I burst out laughing in my car when I heard her say that. Could she possibly believe it?

      • Zana says

        I was embarrassed listening to her. Delusional and … coarse is a good word. Fits in with Grant Cardone and his weird wife. There seems to be no grace or intelligence in those 3. Is this what Scientology makes? I’m glad I’m outta there.

      • gato rojo says

        You’d think she would watch what she said a little more carefully because her career could be at risk. Too much craziness and she could be ignored or run away from after a while. Especially when she can’t keep her looks under control. Kind of wierd for someone promoting how great the DM Scn is. Her DM trained-in bitterness is going to start showing through at one point or another.

      • Jane Doe says

        Gato Rojo, in response to your comments about Kirstie Alley watching her looks, the ironic thing about that is she designed with the help of a chemist, her own line of weight loss products, shakes to drink, vitamins to take, the whole nine yards. And I haven’t heard one person say they lost weight on it. But I did notice Flag was selling it in the canteen. I saw that crap and wondered if Flag was only humoring Kirstie because she had been such a big whale and made such big contributions to Super Power and all other Flag things. I”m sure they didn’t really want to sell her diet which was put right at the cash register where you had to look at it while waiting to be run up. If her diet worked so well she would not be as fat as she is right now. Flunk, Kirstie!

    • says

      Families won’t buy more than 2.
      Even selling 50 per Org will be tough!
      Remeber that nobody is doing Auditor training.
      They are still doing the Basics.

      Each Org will probably buy 10:
      2 for the Examiner
      4 for Auditors
      2 for cramming
      2 for the Word Clearer

      40 for the publics? Impossible mission!

      Tom and Kirstie will buy 500 for FLAG.
      They can afford it, but I guess nobody will ask them.

  5. WhiteStar says

    in other words,
    “meet your weekly quota and we’ll feed you some pepperoni and cheese, if not, no food for you!”.

  6. Chrissie W says

    Wow they have “Sales Managers”! How very corporate of them.
    The 10,000 on solo nots numbers are a total mess. Back in 2009 when I was a good volunteer goody goody, I worked with Clive Rabey on this project. He admitted the numbers were impossible to nail down. For instance, they had my mom on the list 3 times, San Diego, Los Angeles and Clearwater!? Additionally there was debate on whether to count people who had passed, declared/disaffected, etc etc. So the “stats” on this are made up of a bunch of BS. I wonder if they still count my mom? How about myself? haha

    • Mike Rinder says

      Hi Chrissie :)

      I think they should count you. After all, you are still alive. And you were on Solo NOTs.

      And its the holiday season….

    • Still on your side says

      Chrissy, I cannot even imagine sane people having a discussion as to whether to count people who have died, been kicked out of, or who have quit the church as part of the current membership. The inclusion of dead and ex-members in the body count convinces me the church is entropic, it is devolving. Biologists understand that life will not survive unless it is “negentropic.” This means the church, to be healthy, must be growing because of negative entropy, i.e., it must have true growth based on real new members and cooperative, moral input from all members deciding together the future of the church. Cooperative, moral growth is impossible if there is no free thought, if the only growth is based on lies and cannibalization, and if there are no leaders training other leaders.

      To understand this idea better, look at cancer. Is cancer entropic or negentropic? It appears to grow, so looked at from afar with a narrow vision it appears great. Just like the church’s statistics. There is money coming in, and the alleged growing body count looks good. Up close, however, it is clear that the body count is based on dead bodies, faked statistics and the cannibalizing of the church’s most important resource, its members. Just like cancer, this “growth” is sucking the life out of the organization. If unchecked, just like cancer, this kind of growth will kill the church. Is there going to be any healthy, cooperative, moral intervention into this “growth”? There are apparently no leaders among the members who are willing to take on this cancer. At a certain point, cancer becomes unstoppable. All signs point to the fact that the church has reached this point. Therefore, just like a body that has unchecked cancer growing within, cannibalizing all healthy cells, the church will die. I could be wrong. For all I know, there is a group within the church planning to intervene and stop the cancer. Nothing I have read, however, demonstrates this to be the case.

    • says

      Well on that note Having been declared I was surprised to get some mail from the IAS the other day asking me for money. Surprised but not shocked. As someone stated earlier how are you going to rocket up the bridge when you are redoing your TRS and objectives and student hat 17 times. Neither require a meter. Then you have to sit through pro TR’s and redo your basics after redoing the ST Hat. Fucking insanity.

  7. DollarMorgue says

    Kistey Alley in the Howard Sterns interview claimed there were “millions of Scientologists” in the world. And they only want to sell 20,000 in 20 days (1,000/day)? Should be a cinch.

    • checkingin says

      I t was actually “tens of millions of Scientologists”. Want to keep those lies accurate. ;) And she said it twice to be sure of herself.

      • DollarMorgue says

        Thanks. I wasn’t going to go back and listen to it again. At this rate it will be sold to 2 year-olds (they can use it as an EZ bake until they’re old enough to audit to OT).

    • Sejanus says

      Howard lobbed softballs at Kirstie.
      I am now done with him.
      So much material available he could have nailed her ass, but instead kissed it.
      Pathetic hypocritical guy afterall.

      • DollarMorgue says

        See Marty’s blog on the interview for a different view. She was set up to look like an idiot (and was the only one who didn’t notice).

      • says

        IMHO he lobbed some “softballs” at her because he didn’t want to look like an asshole, he wanted her to make herself look like an asshole. He did an excellent job of that. She couldn’t have gotten more bad press from that interview if she had gone in and begged him to make fun of her. It was a win.

      • WIS says

        Respectfully disagree.
        There is more than one way to bait a bull.
        Had Howard outright attacked her or the cult (as he did just this past summer when she was angrily tweeting about Leah) HE would have been the villain and that would have been the topic of the follow-up media stories about the interview.
        But instead, he wisely “played nice” and let her ink herself with a tattoo that reads “vindictive, hateful bully/cult apologist”.
        If her goal was to promote Scientology, it was an epic FAILURE.
        FAIL, Kirstie.
        You BLINKED.

  8. Globetrotter says

    A blast from the past (1998):

    “FACT: The Quantum is the E-meter LRH wanted everyone to have.”

    “FACT: There are no valid reasons to not have the one object in this universe that’s going to travel with you on your journey to full OT”.

    Print it out and show it or read it to anyone who tries to sell you a new meter… per this APPROVED issue, the Quantum IS the meter LRH himself, personally wanted ME to have, so it would be totally off source to replace it with something else, wouldn’t it? And given that I am not full OT yet, and this was PROMISED to take me all the way there, I want to get my money’s worth, so I want to keep using it. Or was there something wrong with the promotion back then? Oh, I see there was. And the current promotion is 100% on source, and the new meter is the exact one LRH wanted ME to have, including the EZ Bake design? So can I get it in writing that if I buy THIS meter, I will be allowed to use it until I make it ALL THE WAY to FULL OT?

    Good luck :-)

    • Mike Rinder says

      Perfect Globetrotter.

      EVERYTHING is always “what LRH wanted” and is now “perfect” and “exactly on Source” until it is all revised again for the next sales pitch.

    • Aquamarine says

      Globetrotter, I’ve printed this out to show any interested parties. This is a real find. Thank you.

    • Jane Doe says

      that 1998 flyer for the Quantum meter was a blast from the past. I recognized Sunja Ackerman in it. Is she still in the church swilling the KA? Or is she alive even? She was getting up there in age and was always fakey good indicators put on a happy fixed smiling face and glazed eyes following Command Intention to a Tee. Anyone know her whereabouts?

      • Jane Doe says

        My wog friend told me that her take on Scientologists (corporate ones she meant) are that they put on “fakey smiles all the time like everything is just peachy and couldn’t be better and they are in fake enthusiasm all the time.” She said life deals you shit and no one can be that happy all the time. So she just dismissed it as one of the characteristics of Scientologists. And then I told her about the difference between corporate Scns and Indie ones and the philosophy vs the church and what it has become. She said she always knew it was a cult. So this is the PR that DM has created out there. Say the word Scientology and you’ll either get instant BI’s or a snort and derisive laugh from the non Scn person hearing the word. Always a bad reaction at the word even. I told my wog friend that her perceptions are very good and that she is right about the fakey good indicators.

      • DollarMorgue says

        Not do disregard your friend’s awareness, but we live in a world of good movies and some great actors. Most people can spot cheap acting pretty well, and body language speaks volumes no words or smiles can hide.

      • Jane Doe says

        No to belabor a point, Peter and Zephyr, but how can Sunja be in comm with Zephyr when Zephyr is a declared SP if Sunja is “in” the church and drinking the Kool Aid?

  9. Globetrotter says

    Continued here:

    You can read all about how the Quantum is the ONE that will take you ALL the way, why it’s exactly as LRH envisioned, science finally caught up with LRH’s vision, etc.

    I just want to quote one interesting tidbit here:

    “So if you haven’t got your Mark Super VII Quantum yet, sit back and take a look. A good, hard look. Because your eternity in native state is nothing to fool with.”

    A good one. Take a good, hard look indeed to see who is fooling who.

  10. Aquamarine says

    I pity the Class V org staffs who must now crush-reg their publics and each other for David Miscavige’s latest failed purpose vehicle. The scene is set for even more make-wrong and accusations otherfishtofry resulting in more failed purposes of these mostly well-intentioned, caring, and dedicated people who are not Sea Org and who have to moonlight or be supported by their parents in order to work at their orgs.

    Well, perhaps that old saying, “It has to get worse before it gets better” will apply here. Some of them just might fall away if the burden becomes too great,blowing or not renewing their staff contracts. Class V orgs can’t exist without staff. –Right?

  11. hiatus57 says

    Amazing what you can do with coloured plastic knobs a $15.00 battery and $250 worth of electronic bits. True, the E-Meter properly used is an incredible instrument in its simplicity and its effectiveness.

    Bit pricey from the Ashmatic Dwarfs gang though.

    • says

      I agree h57,

      One that’s been pretty much trivialized with the Mk Ultra.

      Like Scientology in general has with its constant repackaging.

      I’m glad I kept my original books and meters and resisted Fahrenheit 451 crowd.

      Too bad I didn’t hang on to my original Delta Meter but I swapped it out for an HEM then a Mk VI.


      As far as I’m concerned this new Mk Ultra (such an appropriate name) spy ware meter is a joke without a punchline.

      • indie8million says

        Oh, my gosh, RV, I was just reading what you wrote, thinking, “They didn’t REALLY call it the MK Ultra, did they??” So appropriate.

        I keep seeing such parallels between the Glo bal Elite and DM’s happy little neighborhood and this one is the straightest line connecting. It’s well known that the big boys love to play mind games and flaunt what they are doing, in secret, right out in the open. Drop hints so that anybody could see what they are doing, if they just looked.

        But, most of the time, nobody cares to look, let alone see.

        So appropriate.

      • says


        Miscavige reminds me of baby bush in many ways.

        Remember when George the II went to some fat cat dinner and he said something crass like “my constituency”?


        George and Dave have the same intellectual stature as far as I’m concerned which is none.

        Both are total morons who some how managed to achieve some high office of some kind.

        The only difference is POTUS actually exists as a position with actual powers under the Constitution whereas COB RTC doesn’t exist on any Org Board or in any Policy Letter written by Ron.

        What are legally considered the “scriptures” of Scientology.

        I’m amazed that he’s gotten away with this Bull Shit for over 2 decades without somebody in the SO, CMOI specifically finding some “9 foot fence” and jumping on the lil’ sucker’s pointy lil’ head.

        I mean either it is gross dereliction of duty or the lil’ moron has juice being pumped in from somewhere.

        One of them is obviously his from his “constituents”.

        The elitist Fat Cats or “Whales” who for their own selfish reasons flow money which in this society equals power his way.

        Historically if you want to look at historical parallels here.

        Is some no name corporal who was backed by all the major industrialist and financial interests. Not just in his country but from abroad as well.

        You know big names like IBM, JP Morgan, Ford, Standard Oil etc, etc.

        Because they loved the way this guy operated.

        You know getting rid of unions and creating a profitable (for them at least) “economic miracle” according to Luce and his buddies over at Sullivan & Cromwell which was the incubator for what the late Fletch Prouty called “Capitalism’s Invisible Army”.


        Enough of historical parallels for now.

        It is obvious to me that Scientology had made certain factions of society shall we say apprehensive.

        This is evident when you read both of the late Omar Garrison’s books which are available here:

        Both well documented.

        Who knows what kind of book Garrison would of written as a third installment because it seems some former Port Captain loaded up a pick up truck with “documents” of questionable provenance and veracity with the obvious purpose of discrediting the Ol’man and dumped them on his front door.

        Documents that would have required the skill of someone familiar with how intelligence or covert operatives operate and how they are assigned cover identities or legends to actually sort out.

        Unfortunately that person was never given the chance so he went on to other projects like researching the dynamics behind the JFK assassination and it was turned over to some incompetent hack who only knew how to write purple prose.


        Maybe that third installment might have revealed the IC’s interest in Psychic Spying or Remote Viewing and its possible threat to “National Security” as mentioned in this threat analysis:

        Who knows?

        But it’s interesting that after the CIA and DIA took a walk on the wide side of psychic phenomenon based on the earlier OT levels that the Church of Scientology began unravelling at the top of the Org Board and the FBI raided it about the time the Remote Viewing program had gotten into full swing under Inscom.

        And that shortly after the coup took over that the original OT Levels would mysteriously vanished from the Grade Chart and the Church was eventually taken over by some lone nut calling himself the leader of the Organization.

        Another fact I forgot to mention in all this speculation is that the Remote Viewing came under the CIA’s Mk Ultra project as Subproject 136 which has since been released under FOIA:

        Which probably has nothing to do with the new super meter being called Ultra ;)

  12. Sid says

    So, the “fastest growing religion on Earth” with “millions of adherents in the US, and millions more worldwide” would dearly love to reach some huge target for people using the new E-meter.

    What’s the target?….Twenty thousand.

    What like, per mission?….No.

    Per Org?….No.

    Per country?….No.

    How about per continent???…..No.

    Per what then!!??…..Per planet.


  13. Old Surfer Dude says

    A little off topic: Mike, in biblical times, people used Torpedo fish for healing due to the electrical current the fish produced. And, I believe John Wesley, founder of the Methodist Church, spoke about this too. My question: Could the small current (and has it been increased?) of electricty that’s passed through the body via the e-meter, give people a feeling of well being? This is a stretch, but, could auditing make you an electrical junkie?

    Just wondering…

    • says

      Maybe if you got one of those old Volney mainline meters that you plugged into a wall socket you might get something if it had a short OSD but I wouldn’t exactly call it “therapeutic”.

      Old joke:

      Psychiatrist looks at the meter after session and asks his auditor:

      “How do you get such good results with such low voltage? :)


      The voltage being passed through your body with any meter design since Mathison’s Model M (I Believe) is so negligible its measured in microvolts.

      As Anon said he’s gotten similar results without one.

      And so have I.

      So saying that it’s the meter actually causing these results is really stretching it.

      • Peter says

        As I’ve said before, it’s neither the auditor nor the meter which gets any results. It’s the pc, digging deep, being honest, seeking his/her own best self. And when s/he gets that win, the win belongs totally to SELF. Not to Ron, not to the meter or auditor, not even to “the tech”. This misplacing of SOURCE OF THE COGNITION/WIN has, to me, been a major outpoint throughout scio and dn. It “shorts” the author of the cognition and misplaces ownership. The other things can, at best, help. But the hard work can ONLY be done by the person holding the cans.

      • indie8million says

        That is beautiful, Peter, and so true.

        The only thing I’d like to add to that would be that Ron is right in saying that “the auditor PLUS PC are bigger than the bank…” so I would say that the two terminal nature of the auditor and PC comm line make it possible to discharge the battery of the case.

        In that circumstance, both are cause of their own ‘position,’ as terminals and therefore, co-creators of the safe place in which the cognitions can occur. It’s interesting that, in the same session, not only the PC, but the auditor is having cognitions as well.

        So, yes, the PC is achieving his/her own wins but the auditor is there as the skilled guide to get the PC in the soup and then out of it again. That’s a little bit of the hard work too, without which the PC can’t do hi/her work.

      • says

        Unfortunately this is the think that pervades the Orgs these days.

        Auditors are just considered supernumerary and who needs ‘em.

        Which is probably why they are shortening the time on the lower levels. So they can ‘em on New OT VI which is where they’ll make all there gains anyway.


        Yes of course the PC is an integral and important component.

        No trained auditor would ever dispute this.

        But it requires an auditor to direct the PC’s attention until they are able to direct their own attention and are not distracted by those factors covered in the lower grades.

        Also it takes someone who knows what questions to ask and what commands to give.

        Trust me I’ve seen and handled PCs and even Pre OTs who have tried to wing it on their own and who have gotten no where.

        Another thing on what are called the Solo Levels the PC or Pre OT never audits himself. He audits his case by following a strict unvarying procedure written out for him or her on a platen.

        Either that or very specific directions written by a C/S.

    • splog says

      It’s highly unlikely. A human body is a somewhat high-resistance device so the actual current flow is very very small (current being the actual energy flow). The voltage is a tad over 1 volt – about the same as all those AAA and AA cells in your TV remote.

      Fishes and eels that can produce an electrical current deliver one whopper electrical punch on the order of about 500V or so so it’s not in the same ball park as an emeter. And your own body is very busy producing electrical currents all the time anyway, each one is tiny but when added up they probably are on the same order as a meter.

      Finally, nowhere on any scn-related blog or website have I ever seen any credible research into mental effects of small currents. This would be a rich area of research, think pacemakers, so the lack of postings about research speaks volumes I think.

      • splog says

        I can’t find any information at that site about how the device actually works. Voltage difference between electrodes, current limiting (if any), wave shape frequency and amplitude if not straight DC – these things are all important but not revealed.

        I DO know what an e-meter puts out because I’ve hooked one up to a scope.

  14. Jose Chung says

    The warehouse 8 is a Trojan Horse.
    A D.M. remote profit center you take home, made in Japan for $40.each.
    You pay for two at $5,400.each. ( $10,800.)
    All I have to say is think about it.

  15. Aquamarine says


    Each tech debrief of yours leaves me more amazed than the last one.

    I read this one shivering while sighing with relief that I am out of that RCS quicksand, thanks to Marty Rathbun, you, and all the people who wrote articles for these blogs and who shared their stories and comments. I am in debt to all of you, big time. I am OUT of that insanity! And more and more am I seeing how truly insane it is.

    Anyway, back to these tech articles: I swear, its like watching a chilling, diabolical movie in tsafety of one’s bedroom – the movie grips you, scares you, even horrifies you, while at the same time you know you’re safe in your own home, and very glad of it.

    Except that what’s happening in the RCS now is not a Hitchcock movie, its real.

    • Jane Doe says

      Aquamarine, well put, and I feel it too. What really chills me is thinking of the software DM had put in the new meters that can spy on you, see what you’re doing on the internet etc, and if you go to a “bad” blog, they can turn off the meter and you will never be able to use it again until you submit for reprogramming aka brainwashing. It is a nanny cam on steroids and way more evil.

      • Aquamarine says

        Thanks, Jane Doe and, yes, yes, yes, that software! Totally creeps me out. This RCS e-meter spyware banishes all doubt that the RCS is now as an entity, communistic and thorougly 1.1. I just might block my email to any of these still ins as assuredly the time will come when they are desperate enough to contact me and my computer might get infected somehow with what’s in theirs. Not too sure how this stuff works but In the meantime, forget about clidking onto any of their links!

      • splog says

        Easy on the tin foil hat there fella. Nobody has shown that the meter software does any bad stuff and you don’t want to be saying it is spyware when it’s not shown to be spyware (but I’m very tempted to add a “yet” in there)

        Spyware is not magic, it can’t do anything regular software can’t already do and you have nothing extra to be worried about just because you might be contacted by someone who’s in. Your computer is already being probed about 1000 times a day on average by bad dudes out there somewhere so your in friends don’t pose any additional threat.

        Take standard precautions and you should be safe.

      • Peter says

        This comment, misplaced in the list, is in response to Jane Doe’s post above. My bet is that someone with a lot of tech background, outside of this make believe “czerch” is going to get their hands on one of them, take it apart, and announce to the world precisely what is inside it, will compare it to earlier versions and we’ll know for sure how bad the scam really is. Misconceived is consistently planting his very own minefield.

  16. Markthehungarian says

    Fantastic stuff.

    Proof from within, if proof was needed, that the Church of Scientology is commiting business suicide by cannibalizing their only form of income.

    It’s a parasite out-of-control.

    It’s devouring itself with glee. It’s an insane policy thought up by an insane leader.

  17. Anon4life says

    Sadly, I don’t recall how many of these doorstops they ordered in the first place – if by some miracle they sold 20K, how many would be left in the warehouse?

    How much do you want to bet that if they did move them all they’d start working on yet another super-duper “updated” must-have model?

  18. non-scientologist says

    Other religions which are attempting to expand typically give away or sell their materials for free or a nominal cost. A Morman missionary will give you a free copy of “The Book of Morman”. Yet Scientology deliberately prices its technology way above the means of average people. Jason B was correct, the church couldn’t clear beverly hills.

  19. says

    Boy that’s demeaning. All you staff work your asses off for days and nights and we will send you a gift box of some crappy cheese, some nuts and a fruit cake. (YOU will have to provide your own beer)

    • says

      Hey TD,

      I remember the days when the Ol’man himself sent all Orgs a check to cover their Org Xmas parties.

      You could say those days are pretty much gone.

      Now you gotta make some unreal target to get a box of cheap candies.

      • Mike Rinder says

        Hmmmm. Not sure when u r talking about but from 1973 onwards the Xmas party money came from Sea Org Reserves or Int Mgmt FP. It was presented as a gift from LRH but it was a caper done by the lRH PPRO.

      • says

        Who cares Mike.

        At least we got a Xmas party paid by someone.

        And if it was a minor fib by the LC who foot the bill.

        So what.

        Also we got Xmas bonuses too which in some cases made a very Xmas especially back when we were paid in cash :)

        Even better then the Xmas event.

        Was the News Years event where local Scn musicians used to rock out till everybody passed out.


        You don’t know how much I hated those boring International New Years Events that followed in 86-87.

        I managed to get a PC scheduled those days so I could avoid them suckers.

        The only was I could never get out of going to Auditors Day.

        You know where they stroked you for a couple of hours on how valuable we all were and then go back to treating us like door mats.

      • Gus Cox says

        Oh, there were some great parties – I used to actually look forward to events! I haven’t been to one for ages, and I couldn’t imagine going to one now.

  20. Silvia says

    Yes, a unique monumental gift in a beautiful box full of cookies that also sat in the warehouse for years…poor staff man; no sleep due to the sales targets and then get some cookies as a reward?

    Not at all of comparable magnitude after the thousands of dollars pocketed as profit for the device that will change the future of the whole civilization…

    • Ed Kette says

      Dear Silvia:
      Those cookies were made with a ultra secret mix of exotic ingredients, loving care in an extra virgin Easy Bake oven!

  21. Draco says

    A fully “OT meter”….Operating. Thetan. meter. Really? WTF does that even mean? I have no words…

  22. says

    I’m confused. Am I reading this whole thing wrong? (is there a right way to read this) I thought there were only 10,000 meters made and sitting in the warehouses. Am I wrong on this Mike?

    Not that it matters because they are not even going to sell those 10,000, but they make it their target to sell even more meters than they have stocked then if by some miracle which doesn’t even begin to occur, the entire overworked staff sells more than 10,000 meters they have to scramble to make more meters, which they probably can’t even get the parts for anymore, then who will be to blame?

    I hope this is the point where someone on staff sees the shiny sunlight as a good alternative to the shiny silver box.

    • Mike Rinder says

      Well, it doesnt matter much as you say. But they can certainly make new ones real fast and real cheap. That is what Taiwan is known for. (And if they didnt have them they will still sell them and tell people they have to wait 6 months to take delivery and promote it as “proof” of the overwhelming demand for the meters)….

      • says

        Ugh, so true. Plus, they’re doing the whole illegal scam thing already:

        a. You may not touch money we legally can’t have spent which is legally yours and it would be misallocation of trust funds and a felony to not allow you to use it because you have paid it into a trust account for your use only to pay for these meters. You have to give us shiny new money to pay for these meters.

        b. You have to pay us cash BEFORE we will send you a contract to sign.

        c. AFTER you sign the contract, WE will decide if WE think you are WORTHY of owning the product YOU HAVE ALREADY PAID FOR.

        d. Then, maybe, just maybe you can have one of these warehouse meters.

        That could take up to six months anyway, so by then, they would have the meter, if they are *worthy*.


        Nothing fishy here. Move along.

      • DollarMorgue says

        You can prove you are worthy (adequately gullible) by forking over the money now and keeping your mouth patiently shut until delivery, even if it takes 2 years.

      • says


        Must have acquired that “technique” from good ol’ upstanding upstat Model of Scientology Admin now bankrupt Richie Acunto who had his Brokers continue to sell Insurance for an underwriter who was written off and no longer in the biz.

      • Foolproof says

        I would have loved to have been in the Reg offices (well, not really but you know what I mean) when jokes were made about this guy’s surname, especially if he didn’t stump up the required “donation” on any one given Thursday.

  23. WIS says

    What do they mean by “both sides of the bridge”?
    BOTH sides?
    Do you have to “rocket up” the top AND the bottom? The left AND the right??
    Has it always been this way.. or does GAG2 ADD a newly-discovered SIDE beneath an army of marching semi-colons??

    This is just pathetic.
    It’s like all staff work at some horrible telecomm company with unrealistic quotas on selling long distance at $100 per minute.

    When a product is valuable and properly priced… you don’t need to HARASS the sales targets in the middle of the night!

    • says

      I was wondering just that…both sides…..perhaps its some kind of double span bridge. Maybe the OT VIIIs having got to the first side have discovered that there is another span which will require OTs IX-XVI and a very large credit card.

      • Gus Cox says

        “Both sides of the Bridge” means the training side (learning to audit), and the processing side (getting auditing). Many of the whales just do the processing side – “going OT” – without ever doing their Academy Levels, Dn. course, BC, etc. Those of us who did referred to un-trained OTs a bit derogatorily as “professional PCs.”

  24. War Horse says

    I’ve heard the sleek, silver, gift-wrapped delectable HOLIDAY GIFT BOX was designed exactly per LRH specifications.

    Right on down to the chewy gooey caramel center.

  25. Chee Chalker says

    Anyone care to guess what Tom Cruise’s staff will be getting as their Christmas “bonus” this year?

    • Madora Pennington says

      Do you know, CC?

      And when is Tom Cruise going to wake up and remember, “I’m Tom Fucking Cruise!! These losers need me, not the other way around!”

      He must know about the RadarOnLine article about his SO slave labor?

  26. Sejanus says

    You would think people would see all the BS in that ad, but honestly I wanna know whats in that silver box. Given the size of ribbon and bow it could hold a single chocolate, lump of coal, Dinky Masturbators turds or yummy Niacin tabs.

  27. Galactic Patrol says

    What a tiny little world David Miscavige lives in. Mike, I believe your numbers are 100% accurate in terms of estimating the size of active Scientologists based on these sales quotas (which also match up perfectly with Mark Headley’s data about how many were manufactured in the first place to meet the need of active Scientologists planet-wide).

    But giving the Church the benefit of the doubt (it’s the holiday season and I’m feeling generous), let’s say there are actually 20,000 active Scientologists internationally. I’m including the staff and Sea Org in that figure to make it more reasonably accurate.

    Let’s do a little comparison shopping to give some “data of comparable magnitude” to Scientology world-wide.

    According to wikipedia, there are as many Scientologists world-wide as there are:

    - Jewish people in Chile
    - Sikhs in the Phillipines
    - Jedi Knights in Canada (per their 2001 census)
    - members of the Community Food Co-op of Bozeman, Montana
    - Melbourne Football Club participants
    - New York City Citibike members

    Oh yeah, they’re well on their way to taking the planet. Sure they are.

    • splog says

      or the number of people living in my suburb. Yeah yeah, it just happens to be the biggest suburb in Joburg, but still it’s only one suburb. Imagine that, all the members of the fastest growing religion in the whole could comfortably fit in one suburb of one African city!

    • Carcha says

      Look for Ebay ads “Will trade silver gift box still unopened, for similar condition rolls of toilet paper.”

  28. SharonB says


    Yes, and all earlier chocolates were SQUIRREL! And should be sent up to COB for getting rid of immediately!

  29. Anon says

    A gift box with food?!?! TO BE SHARED between ALL STAFF?!? This box wouldn’t even make it out of HCO before every chocolate was eaten (how many “goodies” can you actually fit in a gift box?)

    What a guy, seriously. He really has complete disregard for every other human being on this planet.

    • DollarMorgue says

      SPs are not human. And he is the only true non-SP.

      SP = Scientology’s perfect dehumanization instrument.

  30. Pepper says

    How about we bring the staff some holiday cheer and save them the grief of selling meters (that no one asked for or needed) by sending gift baskets full of delectable delights for free? Make sure a card is enclosed wishing them Happy Holidays too. The staff can receive gifts from the public and appreciate it when they do. They don’t have to depend on Int. Mgmt to remember them.

    I’ll bet that scrooge package wrapped in silver paper doesn’t include enough delicious delights for everyone to share in the org anyway.

    • says

      That is an excellent idea. And a gift basket – even the highest priced one – would cost a LOT less than $5,400 or $10,800 for two.

    • says

      They would just be confiscated as suspicious merchandise in HCO and then the staff member it was addressed would be sec checked, jacking up their “Freeloader” debt. Which brings me to think, why would “volunteers” receive bills upon departure if they are only volunteering?

    • Gus Cox says

      Meanwhile, The Prophet of Scientology, He Who Must Not Be Named, Chairman of the Board Religious Technology Center Mr. David Miscavige is ordering up some scrumptious hampers from Fortnum and Mason just for Himself.

  31. chrismann says

    That is very confusing. I think they use a different definition of “on” than I am.

    (This is in response to the 10,000 on OT7 conversation if it doesnt post in the right place.)

  32. D-Bag says

    Funny note. There are people GIVING AWAY their brand-new uwrapped LRH books and lectures in the SCN Facebook groups, as they have already tried to sell them for cheap with no luck. Have you ever seen any Christians trying to give away their bibles?

    • DollarMorgue says

      Well the Christians are damn lucky. Their tech fits into one book you can still carry. True, it doesn’t contain all the canon and stuff written since the apostels, but it still has all the Christian basics, and what more do most need?

      I wish all my Scientology stuff had been issued on a tablet. Now I’ve given it away, too, probably over $4000 worth.

      • says

        Mine tech fits into one sentence.

        “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

        Sometimes I forget to carry it around, though. Bad me.

      • Peter says

        Not in any of the libraries I’ve been in recently. My latest has a separate fully functioning book store with thousands of books at various prices, all much greater than 25 cents. With all the services they now offer – free computer use, for instance – and sizeable staff, they need all the monies they can get to keep on doing their wondrous work. Only the really old and battered books get the 25 cent treatment.

  33. Flexible Flyer says

    Go indie and eventually purchase a 3D Printer for an org. You can make meters on demand. It would cost next to nothing. It custom makes out all the plastic parts, such as the case, knobs with very precise specs. You can make it any shape you want, even a handheld version. Make a partnership with what already exists.

    Screw or snap in (depending on the sophistication of the design) a module for electronics. The display face, lithium rechargeable, and the rest you can get cheap in bulk. A child could print then assemble it in kit form. You can then go down to Staples get a roll of silver paper and wrap it, if so inclined.

  34. MaBű says

    Instead of “a sleek, silver, gift-wrapped delectable holiday gift box”, (mis-)management should shower them with golden wrapped gifts. (Re: Mike Rinder, Dec 10, 2013 at 9:50 am: “If they are told to stand on their heads and pee, they will dutifully drink a gallon of water and assume the upside down position.”) :-)

  35. says

    Just a comment on the 10000 OTs supposedly auditing on OT VII.

    That’s been a long term target which was being pushed a few years before I blew that pop stand.

    Shows you the level of confront of the average Churchie these days if they figure they are going to clear this planet by sitting back and auditing NOTs which they base on some squirrelly concept of the Theta-Mest Theory which to me is like saying you are Don Juan ’cause you jerk off every night.

    No where does Ron say that you are going to clear the planet by auditing yourself.

    Yet amazingly this is what most of them think is going to occur if they get 10000 people on Audited NOTs.

    Not only do we have the self fulfilling prophecy of the blind leading the blind but now the completely deluded leading the delusional.

    • Gerhard Waterkamp says

      The 10000 on OTVII “Solution” is around since 1996. Some people came to my house and told me with a straight face that 10000 on OTVII would make the difference and being the most important and vital target. I told them if they believe this here are some ideas to get more people on the level. A.) have review Auditors and qual in all areas with large concentrations of Solo Nots, B.) deliver the VI a course in any org. C.) scratch the 6 months checks and high costs and more. I even wrote it up and sent a whole program up-lines.
      The deafening silence confirmed: 10000 on OT VII is just a goal to have a constant stream of public coming in to FLAG where they can knocked over for money in any possible way. It is all about the money, has nothing to do with the impact of active Solo Nots on this planet.
      And the people selling the shore story about the “vital target” of 10000 on Solo Nots, know it is a lie, and yet they are pushing it. Disgusting people. At that point I told them where the property limit is and that I will have them for trespassing if they dare to come to my house. I do not like stinking liers.

      • says


        Actually here in La La Land people unfortunately buy this shit.

        I mean this California we’re talking about here.

        You know the home of “Be Ins” “Owsley Acid” and the Grateful Dead.

        I’m sure there are a few around here who sell this idea for fun and profit. Probably more of the latter than the former but for the most part the Churchies around here suck it up like electric Kool Aid.

        Especially the untrained “OT” morons.

        Ya know as if they bought the world a Coke and it would sing in perfect harmony, kinda thing.

        Anyway the idea is appealing to those “OTs” who don’t want to get trained and actually have to audit others.

  36. Aquamarine says

    Here’s a possibility for what could be the chief actual purpose of this Warehouse VIII sales program: to find out for real how many active Scientologists exist. This program could be the RCS’s covert survey to determine the actual size of their field. Out of all CF, the purchase of this meter (or not) could be David Miscavige’s litmus test for WHO is actually still a Scientologist, for his purposes. (Accent on “for his purposes”)

    What else can it be? He reads all the blogs, he is aware of all of the disaffection and C/I. He knows the actual Cl V org stats. So, aside from making whatever money he can, making himself look like he’s doing something important, and aside from the pleasure he will derive from making the staffs stressed and miserable with failed purposes trying to sell to a largely ARC broken and financially broken field, what else does he get out of this besides hard uncooked data on how how many people are still actually drinking his koolaid and willing to turn themselves inside out and “make it go right” to come up with the five or 10 thousand? Of course, the Whales wouldn’t count in that they are wealthy enough to buy several and not even use them. But for others, this is a big deal and a lot of money.

    And this purpose would also be in sync with his suppressive purpose to stop auditing because the e-meter sales will tell him how many auditors he actually has (which need to be gotten rid of).

    • DollarMorgue says

      DM specilises in impossible targets, always has. LRH specialised in impossible targets in the end “run every conspiracy to the ground”, “five years left…”

      I think he’s had so much money at his disposal for so long he has no idea what real life is like or what the price of an e-meter translates into in the real world.

  37. Aeolus says

    There has been some discussion about the requirement to pay for these meters out of pocket instead of with money on account. Otherwise, all the under-the-radar folks with money on account would use it to buy meters and resell them for whatever they could get. Nobody who actually wanted a meter would have to pay full price, and even then there would be a glut of them on EBay. Which will probably happen soon enough anyway.

  38. Aquamarine says

    In my own eval, here, the good news – if it could be called “good”, is that, the worse the sales of these meters go, the more intense will be the pressure on the staff to crush-reg the public due to intense pressure from management, and so on up the line. This is good because a portion of these people will leave. People giving up and leaving with failed purposes – that is David Miscaviges product.

    • says

      Funny how the Org these days runs an enforced have (like you must by this Emeter or you must do the Basics or you have to redo all your objectives and do Phase II whatever) while running a Can’t Have( you can’t have the original books or materials you had, you can’t have any wins you might have gotten in earlier auditing etc, etc ad nauseam) I mean what is that?

      (Well actually what that is is explained in a process run on the PTS Rundown but anyhoo..)

      This is why I realized a while back that the Church of Scientology has in fact become a Suppressive Group.

      As far as I’m concerned they’re right up there with Institutional Psychiatry, factions of the CIA who use “enhanced interrogation techniques” and FBI agents who violate the 4th amendment with “National Security Letters” and the whole vast Military Industrial Complex which mainly exists on fear and of course their ‘friends” in the IRS who are willing to audit anyone who happens to dissent with the Status Quo.

      Not to mention their other “friends” in InterPol who are nothing but a den of inveterate Nazis.

      And since I’m on the subject of Nazis.

      Has anyone noticed the lurch toward Fascism?

      I mean mandatory this and that and you’re not considered a “Good Scientologist” unless you give that two bit Führer Miscavige and RTC some kind of honorable mention in a “Success Story”.


      They misewell trade in the S and Double Triangle for a frickin’ Swastika.

  39. Bill. says

    How crap would your Christmas be if someone had splashed out 5 grand and all you got was that plastic rubbish.

  40. Bill Lumberg says

    I’m not a Scientologist, nor have I ever been one. But I want that fucking silver basket of goodies. And I shall have it. 20,000 meters? No problem. I’m IN!

  41. says

    “Weekly targets and sales managers”? This is fresh too, I have never seen the term “sales manager” in a Hubbard policy. I have a feeling this piece of promo would come in handy in some court case.

  42. Black Panther says

    God this brings back horrid memories. At the time of event call-in, IAS fundraisers and the like, staff would be baited with goodies for confirms/items sold or money raised. I remember one staff member going ape-shit ecstatic because he was rewarded with a banana for getting 5 confirms. A banana for Chrissakes! . Others would go into complete glee because they got a toffee or lollipop for their efforts. Such was the denigration of havingness. I wanted to vomit when the Int goons sent these goodie boxes to the org before events – the execs always got first dibs and the rest of the staff got the dregs. It was like being an inmate in a loony-bin. Fortunately I somehow survived the lobotomy.

    • Jane Doe says

      Black Panther, I almost threw up reading your story. My God! It sickens me to see how he has turned good SO staff who have a huge desire to help, these elite of the elite, He has turned them into groveling DB’s in the glee of insanity. He ruined and wrecked their havingness. And through no sleep and shitty food, he has made them clap like seals for the dead junkfood that is not worth the paper enwrapping it. All this while he sleeps a lot, and eats gourmet food some of which is flown in fresh for him, prepared by professional chefs. When can we get DM into prison? The bile continues to rise.

      • Aquamarine says

        Spot on, Jane Doe. DM’s squirrelling of the tech is tied for first place with his unbelievably cruel treatment of well-intentioned sincere people. None of what he does is illegal, apparently, but here’s the good news: think of Al Capone. They had nothing on him for years despite his crimes, but finally they nabbled him on income tax evasion. Really stupid of him. He had more than enough money to pay taxes but he just figured he could get away with it and so why pay, you know? And they got him on that white-collar offense. That’s what I see happening with David Miscavige. Not income taxes, but some greedy, unthinking, stupid mistake, and he’ll be nabbed and then it will all start to unravel. I can’t wait to see the expression on the faces of these still-ins when all is revealed to them about the true character of their precious COB.

  43. Archie 10 says

    I thought Kirstie Alley did a really good job with her interview. I liked her more after I heard it.

    She used the coarsest of language – but that’s appreciated on Howard’s show, particularly when it comes from a famous actress. During the interview she repeatedly took a high degree of responsibility for bad things which have happened in her life. Howard and Robin were both impressed by this. She was seemingly prepared to answer any question and gave plenty of details about famous people like Travolta (always appreciated by a talk show host). She cleverly positioned the attackers of Scientology, by asking Howard if he would still be friends with people who had been Jewish, but who were now publicly denouncing it.

    I think Kirstie believes – in a koolaid-drinking, shallow way – that there are ‘tens of millions’ of Scientologists. If I think back to how I felt five years ago, I was reasonably convinced by the fake photo-ops and computer graphics showing missions and VMs pushing down the Amazon and changing hardened Mexican killers into course supervisors and model citizens. I wanted to believe it was true and it takes a bit of digging to find out that the Mexican prisons are not all emptying out and singing the praises of LRH.

    Howard Stern is a pretty good place for Scientologists to go. Whilst he has mocked Scientology in the past, his current position is that the belief system is no more worthy of ridicule than the belief system of the established religions. I don’t think he is aware of the abuses particularly.

    • Peter says

      With the plethora of information which has surfaced in well touted books, news sources and, of course, the world wide internet, Stern has to be a lightweight moral and ethical deadbeat to not be “aware of the abuses particularly”. And if he prefers Alley over Rehmeni, his taste buds are dead, as well.

  44. Jose Chung says

    Hardly wait to discover whats in the silver foil box.
    In the Universe of Must Have / Can’t Have it’s gotta be goodie

  45. Live Zombie says

    I don’t know if this was covered in any earlier comments as there are many.

    Point is, is that if you are a Public Kool Aid drinker and you are married, you have to buy 4 meters, thats $20 grand. Who in the world except rich people are going to be able to do this new Bridge?

  46. Jeff says

    10,000 on or through Solo Nots?

    As you point out, 10,000 is likely a high number for even marginally ‘active’ Scilons. It’s possible that in the last 20 years, 30,000 people just popped in the door to use the bathroom and are therefore considered a valid stat, but I doubt even that.

    The question is, how many have rocketed through the Student Hat since the release?

    Oh, right….there are only a handful of Basics Completions worldwide.

    So NONE, then.

    Straight up and vertical, etc. Yadayadayada.

    • Jeff says

      Of course, the truly sad (or perhaps, opportune…depends on your perspective) part of all this is that with one fell swoop, KAWB has managed to knock damn-near everyone off the Bridge.

      You’ve spent $10K cash for a meter, but wait…You’re still stuck on Chapter 3 of Dianetics. In other words, nowhere near THROUGH your Basics lineup and are therefore unlikely to get onto or near the Student Hat or a metering course in something like another five years – If you quit your job, join Staff and the TTC, in the hopes of studying full time that is (Yeah, right. More likely you’ll be chained to a desk and telemarketing 20 hours a day schlepping meters to an imaginary public.)

      It’s now clear to me that Clearing the planet is in point of fact, totally the reverse of CI.

  47. NeverClear says

    Whoa…when you said “gift basket” in your introduction, I thought each person would get one, not one to share with your colleagues. Still not a big carrot, regardless. Coming from a high pressure sales environment, this whole thing is reminiscent of my former money hungry sleezy sales managers, not like any “church” I’ve been apart of.

  48. Michael Fairman says

    My wife and I, who were declared in 2011, just got shiny slick promo from the IAS. – twice.
    We must be two among Alley’s “millions. Gawd! I sent the promo back with a note of advice. Question Mike: What do you think happens to the outdated Quantums?They’re much to large to be put where I think they should go.

    • Mike Rinder says

      Michael. After the constant reamings most of the KA drinkers have had they may fit without any trouble. Otherwise. They make good paperweights or doorstops. One guy in Oslo is using them to build an ideal green org with but it will have to be torn down as his space planning has not been approved by central headquarters in Pyongyang. Other than that I can only guess – launch them as skeets at the giant shotgun range? Emergency pothole fillers? Alien spaceships in model train displays? Frankly, I’m stumped….

  49. Ms.P says

    I walked away from my training after completing my level IV (the next day paying for my internship) and the next day being told that I couldn’t start my internship because GAT1 was being released in a few days and I would have to pay all over again for my levels and restart. WHAT??? “I’ll pay for updates, I said”, oh no, I had to start all over again. Yeah, well thanks staff members, for taking my internship money knowing full well I wouldn’t be able to start unless I redid my levels. Anyway…, I’ve said it here before and I’ll say it again – He is THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE!
    And Davey, we know you’re reading this, and you’re happy you’ve destroyed the tech as we know it but remember it’s only a matter of time and you will get yours.

    • Aquamarine says

      Wow, Ms.P, that’s amazing. What a mindfuck. Do these people sit up nites dreaming up ways to create ARC breaks?

  50. Espiritu says

    What a scam. As Globetrotter pointed out, the Mark VII Quantum was touted as an excellent meter….and it really is. As a matter of fact, the Mark VI is a very good meter also. And remember that many people audited themselves on the Mark V up to original OTVII. That would be the actual OT VII, not NOTs.
    So, what are the supposed advantages of the Mark VIII? From what I understand, there is one BIG advantage……for the Church of Mi$cavology. After “selling” you 2 meters for over 10K a pair, your meters will cease to function unless “updated” once per year over the internet. This means that if you fall out of good standing (however that may be defined in the future), you will have a dead meter and the Cof Mi$cavology will still have your money. So you will really have only rented them unless you are still in favor.

    This is above obviously not an advantage for the purchaser/consumer.
    But I think that there could be another problem of a technical nature with these meters for auditors . From what I have read the needle action is completely digital. Supposedly this is accomplished by taking samples of the electronic signal passing through the PC’s or Pre-OT’s body and then AVERAGING those signals several times per second before they pass through the needle dial mechanism. This means that what the auditor is seeing in needle action is not exactly how the PC’s or Pre-OT’s mind is affecting the electrical current. It seems to me that while the needle action might look more smooth, it could not possibly be quite as accurate. Analog signals can show infinite variations. Digital signals can only show a pre-determined size of variation. Will it be possible to see a slightly dirty needle on a Mark VIII if one exists?
    As an analogy, audiophiles still prefer an analogue amplifier to a digital one because the duplication of naturally analogue acoustics can be closer to perfection. Am I right about this? Please chime in some of you guys and gals trained in electronics.

    • richardgrant says

      Espiritu, what an interesting question — and a great analogy with audio electronics. I hope someone with the right expertise picks up on it.

      Without knowing much about how an e-meter works, I would guess the answer depends on two things, mainly: how fast is the sampling rate, and how long-lasting are the phenomena being measured. I mean, let’s say an auditor’s question triggers a response from the person holding the cans. If this response is very fleeting, then you might get a reading from an analog device that is more precise but so rapid that the auditor has trouble isolating or pinpointing it to make a proper interpretation. A quick twitch of an analog needle can look like noise.

      Listening to a vinyl record, we can usually tell whether some stray noise is just a “pop” or part of the performance. Can an auditor do this with an e-meter? (I’m totally ignorant about this.)

      In this situation, a digital device that averages the N most recent samplings would tend to “blur” the momentary response — thus giving a less accurate reading, in theory — yet turn out to be more useful to the auditor because it tracks the underlying response pattern while discarding noisy artifacts. But I don’t know, this is just speculation.

      • splog says

        Correct, it depends on the sampling rate. And because it’s sampled, a digital encoding of an analogue signal is never a completely accurate representation of the original signal. There comes a point when the digital inaccuracy simply doesn’t matter anymore. I measure the length of my curtains with a tape measure, I know it’s only accurate to within a few mm, but that does not matter at all and I don’t care.

        One shouldn’t make the mistake of assuming that an analogue meter is a faithful representation of what happened in the real world either. There’s no guarantee that the electrodes respond equally to all inputs, or that the amplifiers the cans connect to have an even response, or even that the needle responds correctly. The needle has mass and when it moves it has to be accelerated and decelerated; this takes energy and the only source of that energy is the current going through the movement. So the needle actually changes the signal it is supposed to represent. Obviously small swift ticks are effected more than wide lazy F/Ns but the effect is still there. This btw is a well known engineering problem and is factored into properly designed systems – we usually just declare what the margin of error is upfront :-)

        There’s no reason to believe that what is shown on by the Ultra is anything but a decent representation of the input. The electronics to do this are so well known, so prevalent and so easy to get right that it’s hard to figure why Gold would get it wrong. COB’s main thoughts on the Ulta was probably how much dough he could squeeze out of suckers, not on fiddling with the electronics.

        There is something about the electronics that can be investigate though. Those boards were soldered 10 years ago and since kept in warehouses that are not climate controlled. I presume the Li-ion batteries have been sitting inside the cases for all 10 years too. Environmental deterioration is a valid factor. Sampling errors from digitizing the input – not so much.

  51. Jose Chung says


    You are correct about everything in your post.

    I suspect the Ultra 8 may have the same setup installed in “Free Laptops” given to elementary school kids Who also take them home ( can remotely turn on spycam and listening mode) mostly in the software.
    Basically if you believe everything you hear in the news by having a couple of Ultra 8 meters in your house the color of the underwear you wear will be known to You, your cat, David Miscavige, top 250 exec’s of scientology,the NSA, and Homeland security.

  52. says

    To Espiritu, I don’t know a bunch about electronics but I’m thinking an average of reads no matter how fast they occur is a far off distant from an instant read and a sharp auditor. It’s all going down hill.

    • splog says

      Here’s a little something that will bake your noodle (apologies to Neo and the Oracle):

      That smooth clean motion of the needle you see when the needle is floating – you don’t actually see that at all. What your physical eyes see is a few snapshot images of the motion and your brain fills in the rest.

      Your brain is a wonderful correlation tool and is AMAZINGLY good at “photoshopping”. It’s already well trained to recognize typical needle patterns (simply because you’ve watched a meter in action so many times already), so using tiny snippets of information about needle position and velocity in small units of time, the brain fills in the rest by assuming that the needle movement now is not hugely different from what needles did in the past.

      Perception is a fascinating study, and it’s mind boggling to realize that most of what we assume we see, we actually don’t. Point being, doing this in a measuring device is perfectly OK, as all of us do it anyway!