RB, I love your attention to detail in showing the subdued tone of the personal staff. Please do more of these in the future, showing DM living in grand style with his personal attendants meeting his outrageous needs and demands. It’s great material and super funny.
I just love the blonde woman attendant helping Der MiniMeister get dressed — Looking away out of disgust (but ol DM probably thinks she’s looking away because his personal “aura” — or his package? — is just too much for her to take…)
Another satiric jewel in the crown, RB – thank you! I am laughing and loving this!
Ten years ago TC was mouthing everywhere about Scientology with a unique brand of ignorance and arrogance. Look at him now – assuredly no longer ignorant, and cowering behind his PR people out of fear that the cult’s toxicity will rub off on him and rub out his.
Once again RB your talent for assigning the correct order of magnitude shines though brilliantly. Its your attention to detail in what seems innocuous little things that end up portraying the all too satirically real, ‘Days of Our Lives’ with david miscavige.
I hope you get to script – “David Miscavige, this is your life” if it ever goes into production.
Thanks for the chuckles.
I really doubt that Tom Cruise will ever say anything pro-$cieno in the future. He supposedly has enough work lined up to keep him busy for the next 3 years. Any $cieno talk will just derail those plans. I suspect that Niblet knows his limitations and will never press for anything but private stuff, like last years IAS convention stop in the UK. Someone probably paid a huge penalty for that leaked pic of TC with his big ass medal of something or other.
I just can’t see TC giving up his job {he does his own stunts!!!} to shill for the clampire. Being a ‘star’ is too important to him.
I completely believe Tom Cruise is not interested in speaking to David Miscavige because I’m convinced he has seen Going Clear. I believe there is a human being inside the movie star but I don’t believe there is a human being inside the self-serving mechanism called, “David Miscavige”. He is a sociopath by my reckoning. That means he can have no friends for they will eventually quit him in disgust. There will be no more motorcycle rides together or teary-eyed salutes. If it turns out they are still friends I will be astounded.
+1! Brilliant post, WYC! And you’re 100% correct about DAVID “LET HIM DIE – PROVABLE BULLSHIT” MISCAVIGE. If you looked up the term, sociopath, it would have his picture.
Tom Cruise watching Going Clear is like me eating donuts. We both know we shouldn’t do it. But when I’m on the way home and Dunkin’ Donuts beckons, the clarion call to too loud. I cannot avoid it. Similarly, at some point Tom was lounging in his Eames chair & ottoman in one of his many luxury homes, and scanning the offerings on TV. He flipped up to HBO to see what was doing there, and saw that “Going Clear” was about to start. He couldn’t resist … he said give me one chocolate glazed and one sugar raised… no, wait, that was me.
Anyway, he saw the movie. He didn’t believe any of it … at first. Where was the first chink? The ugly truth about LRH? The bugging of Nicole? Seeing and hearing his trusted auditor Marc telling his story with earnest straightforwardness?
I hope one of the violent sociopath’s lawyers is dumping these out to paper and collecting them as “evidence” that Scientology is some how a “religion” and that it’s some how “persecuted.” 🙂 I’d love to see the screamingly insane idiot order these to be entered in to open, public court records the next time he’s indicted or sued as a “defense.” 🙂 That would be suh-weeeet!
RB, you are hilarious. The comedic way you make fun of David Miscavige’s unique form of insanity and weave it around his height, the messy hair in bed and then the pompadour, to the green underwear, and then the rolling pin 🙂
Man, that was a close one! I’ve been jonesing for RB all week! The shaking was getting really bad and I couldn’t sleep. And when I did finally fall asleep, I kept dreaming about a maniacal dwarf! Whew! I’m so glad I got my fix…
Nice picture of him with his pants around his ankles on the massage table, getting worked over with a rolling pin. As that big being Homer Simpson would say, “it’s funny because it’s true!”
Tom Cruise is having a much better time in life avoiding any and all public association with Scientology that not. That’s another data point that may one day drill itself through his thick skull and rattle his brain into clarity.
The rolling pin is hysterical!! I actually looked over that – one of the reasons I love RB is because you go back and see more hidden in the cartoons the more you look. Brilliant!
Love it! David Miscavige is an unimportant pipsqueak in the grand scheme of life. He is only important in his own little bubble, and that bubble will burst one day. He will be left standing alone in his green underwear!
Tommyj, he bought those in ’86 and has never washed them because they’re his “special briefs” and he doesn’t want to ruin them. As I understand it, you can smell them from 50 ft away.
Speaking of those Ideal Orgs, I notice that the California Secretary of State site says that Church of Scientology of Stevens Creek corporation is still FTB Suspended. It’s been like that for over a year, you’d think someone would fix that?
FTB Suspended or FTB Forfeited: The business entity was suspended or forfeited by the Franchise Tax Board for failure to meet tax requirements (e.g., failure to file a return, pay taxes, penalties, interest).
Perhaps there’s standing orders not to pay anything called a tax? It could just be an administrative charge that they’ve never paid and the Franchise Tax Board finally suspended them?
Unlike Toronto and Montreal, where they probably have a chore making Dave understand that, yes, they really do have to pay property tax.
“Waddya mean? I won in 1993!”
“Those orgs are in Canada, and we lost there in 1999.”
“What?! Get our guy at the IRS to change that!”
“It’s a different country.”
“It is?”
Yes RMycroft. In California, the County collects property tax. Not the Franchise Tax board. From the data to hand it appears to be a problem with timely filing of tax papers. Even if you own nothing ya still have to file.
Wayne – wouldn’t it be great to have Sherman leave so DM would have to speak at a huge event, in his own voice? Bwahahahaha!
“Now, damn it, you F*ing Assholes! You low life Sea Org members are all declared because you didn’t do enough expansion to tell these stupid clubbed seals about at this event! How in the f*ck am I supposed to get their panties all wet so that they will give ME, I mean my real estate ponzi, I mean THE CHURCH, their donations???”
“Damn it you piece of sh*t public!! If you aren’t going to JOIN the Sea Org, then you HAVE to make a million dollars and give it all to me since your exchange is out, if you don’t!!! You got that?? What am I supposed to do, go out and get a job to bring the money because YOU won’t do it?? I have to do everything around here.”
“Hey!! Where is everybody going??? Why are they leaving, Karen??? You’re going in the hole because ALL of these people must have read Mike and Marty (and that sh*thead, Tony Ortega’s) blogs!! They wouldn’t leave me like that! Security! Bar the doors!! (jumping up and down) Now security isn’t even doing what I tell them to do!!!! Where the hell is RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINDEERRRRRR!!!???”
Not just green underwear; BUT FLUORESCENT GREEN UNDERWEAR! Nice attention to detail. I can already feel some highly-paid private investigators starting to tail Regraded Being. Just let him die.
Pepper says
RB, I love your attention to detail in showing the subdued tone of the personal staff. Please do more of these in the future, showing DM living in grand style with his personal attendants meeting his outrageous needs and demands. It’s great material and super funny.
Pepper says
Thankfully the pants made it on to Dave’s body over the shoes!
thegman77 says
He has a “package”???? Dubious, at best. 🙂
Old Surfer Dude says
Make sure you have a magnifying glass so you can see his so-called “package.”
Bruce says
I just love the blonde woman attendant helping Der MiniMeister get dressed — Looking away out of disgust (but ol DM probably thinks she’s looking away because his personal “aura” — or his package? — is just too much for her to take…)
Pepper says
🙂
Ed Kette says
RB: I wonder if the female masseuse is blind!
Because, any other way she would be witnessing micro managing in the making!
Aquamarine says
Edit: “…and rub out his career”.
Aquamarine says
Another satiric jewel in the crown, RB – thank you! I am laughing and loving this!
Ten years ago TC was mouthing everywhere about Scientology with a unique brand of ignorance and arrogance. Look at him now – assuredly no longer ignorant, and cowering behind his PR people out of fear that the cult’s toxicity will rub off on him and rub out his.
I Yawnalot says
Once again RB your talent for assigning the correct order of magnitude shines though brilliantly. Its your attention to detail in what seems innocuous little things that end up portraying the all too satirically real, ‘Days of Our Lives’ with david miscavige.
I hope you get to script – “David Miscavige, this is your life” if it ever goes into production.
Thanks for the chuckles.
Ann B Watson says
Hi Zemooo, I recall that picture of TC & the most cheesy ridiculous looking medal I had ever seen.All cash & no class..Always Ann.
Tony DePhillips says
Seems real.
zemooo says
Giggle, titter, guffaw…..Great job Regraded Being.
I really doubt that Tom Cruise will ever say anything pro-$cieno in the future. He supposedly has enough work lined up to keep him busy for the next 3 years. Any $cieno talk will just derail those plans. I suspect that Niblet knows his limitations and will never press for anything but private stuff, like last years IAS convention stop in the UK. Someone probably paid a huge penalty for that leaked pic of TC with his big ass medal of something or other.
I just can’t see TC giving up his job {he does his own stunts!!!} to shill for the clampire. Being a ‘star’ is too important to him.
WaterYourCrimes says
I completely believe Tom Cruise is not interested in speaking to David Miscavige because I’m convinced he has seen Going Clear. I believe there is a human being inside the movie star but I don’t believe there is a human being inside the self-serving mechanism called, “David Miscavige”. He is a sociopath by my reckoning. That means he can have no friends for they will eventually quit him in disgust. There will be no more motorcycle rides together or teary-eyed salutes. If it turns out they are still friends I will be astounded.
Old Surfer Dude says
+1! Brilliant post, WYC! And you’re 100% correct about DAVID “LET HIM DIE – PROVABLE BULLSHIT” MISCAVIGE. If you looked up the term, sociopath, it would have his picture.
hgc10 says
Tom Cruise watching Going Clear is like me eating donuts. We both know we shouldn’t do it. But when I’m on the way home and Dunkin’ Donuts beckons, the clarion call to too loud. I cannot avoid it. Similarly, at some point Tom was lounging in his Eames chair & ottoman in one of his many luxury homes, and scanning the offerings on TV. He flipped up to HBO to see what was doing there, and saw that “Going Clear” was about to start. He couldn’t resist … he said give me one chocolate glazed and one sugar raised… no, wait, that was me.
Anyway, he saw the movie. He didn’t believe any of it … at first. Where was the first chink? The ugly truth about LRH? The bugging of Nicole? Seeing and hearing his trusted auditor Marc telling his story with earnest straightforwardness?
hgc10 says
correction: …. auditor Marty …
Good People says
This R.B. is my favorite yet, thanks Mike.
WaterYourCrimes, I just can’t see T.C. leaving the church. If he did publicly leave, I think that would be the end of CSI.
Fredric L. Rice says
I hope one of the violent sociopath’s lawyers is dumping these out to paper and collecting them as “evidence” that Scientology is some how a “religion” and that it’s some how “persecuted.” 🙂 I’d love to see the screamingly insane idiot order these to be entered in to open, public court records the next time he’s indicted or sued as a “defense.” 🙂 That would be suh-weeeet!
McCarran says
RB, you are hilarious. The comedic way you make fun of David Miscavige’s unique form of insanity and weave it around his height, the messy hair in bed and then the pompadour, to the green underwear, and then the rolling pin 🙂
Brilliant!
Ms.P says
RB – you did it again, LMAO.
Old Surfer Dude says
Man, that was a close one! I’ve been jonesing for RB all week! The shaking was getting really bad and I couldn’t sleep. And when I did finally fall asleep, I kept dreaming about a maniacal dwarf! Whew! I’m so glad I got my fix…
McCarran says
🙂 You’re so funny, OSD.
Old Surfer Dude says
Mary, I may not be good for much, but, at least I can give people comic relief.
hgc10 says
Nice picture of him with his pants around his ankles on the massage table, getting worked over with a rolling pin. As that big being Homer Simpson would say, “it’s funny because it’s true!”
Tom Cruise is having a much better time in life avoiding any and all public association with Scientology that not. That’s another data point that may one day drill itself through his thick skull and rattle his brain into clarity.
TommyJ says
The rolling pin is hysterical!! I actually looked over that – one of the reasons I love RB is because you go back and see more hidden in the cartoons the more you look. Brilliant!
Newcomer says
I’d change the position of that rolling pin in a big hurry……………and forget the KY.
TommyJ says
I’d like to massage his back with a cheese grater
Old Surfer Dude says
Now that would be a good use of a rolling pin! I’d pay good money to see that!
Old Surfer Dude says
“I’d like to massage his back with a cheese grater.” That’s what I like about you, Tommyj, you’re a sick puppy like me!
John Locke says
Perfect RB!
Lori S says
Love it! David Miscavige is an unimportant pipsqueak in the grand scheme of life. He is only important in his own little bubble, and that bubble will burst one day. He will be left standing alone in his green underwear!
Old Surfer Dude says
Hey everyone! I’d tell the reason his underwear is green, but, I don’t want to gross everyone out…
TommyJ says
Do tell OSD…do tell!
Old Surfer Dude says
Tommyj, he bought those in ’86 and has never washed them because they’re his “special briefs” and he doesn’t want to ruin them. As I understand it, you can smell them from 50 ft away.
threefeetback says
Dave,
Your new comb-in hairpiece with the Duggan look must go. It isn’t working for you and it is adding too much time to your dressing routine.
RMycroft says
Nice!
Speaking of those Ideal Orgs, I notice that the California Secretary of State site says that Church of Scientology of Stevens Creek corporation is still FTB Suspended. It’s been like that for over a year, you’d think someone would fix that?
FTB Suspended or FTB Forfeited: The business entity was suspended or forfeited by the Franchise Tax Board for failure to meet tax requirements (e.g., failure to file a return, pay taxes, penalties, interest).
Cre8tivewmn says
Dave doesn’t have any tax attorneys ? Nobody watching the pesky rules the wogs make?
thegman77 says
I suspect that your revelation, Mycroft, will be the first he’s actually heard of it. Thus heads will roll…and maybe some will blow?
Funniest RB yet. Lovely way to start a weekend.
RMycroft says
Perhaps there’s standing orders not to pay anything called a tax? It could just be an administrative charge that they’ve never paid and the Franchise Tax Board finally suspended them?
Unlike Toronto and Montreal, where they probably have a chore making Dave understand that, yes, they really do have to pay property tax.
“Waddya mean? I won in 1993!”
“Those orgs are in Canada, and we lost there in 1999.”
“What?! Get our guy at the IRS to change that!”
“It’s a different country.”
“It is?”
John Locke says
Yes RMycroft. In California, the County collects property tax. Not the Franchise Tax board. From the data to hand it appears to be a problem with timely filing of tax papers. Even if you own nothing ya still have to file.
TommyJ says
OMG RB the green underwear made me just about piss in mine!!! My ruin is that Friday only comes one day a week. Regraded Being you are Da Man
Wayne Borean aka The Mad Hatter says
Me too. I wake up so excited on Friday mor into because we get our fix of Regraded Being!
Damn, this week’s was good. I could hear David (LHD) Miscavige’s voice in my head. Which is pretty damned scary come to think of it…
TommyJ says
Group Bank – Group Ruin I guess Wayne!
indie8million says
Wayne – wouldn’t it be great to have Sherman leave so DM would have to speak at a huge event, in his own voice? Bwahahahaha!
“Now, damn it, you F*ing Assholes! You low life Sea Org members are all declared because you didn’t do enough expansion to tell these stupid clubbed seals about at this event! How in the f*ck am I supposed to get their panties all wet so that they will give ME, I mean my real estate ponzi, I mean THE CHURCH, their donations???”
“Damn it you piece of sh*t public!! If you aren’t going to JOIN the Sea Org, then you HAVE to make a million dollars and give it all to me since your exchange is out, if you don’t!!! You got that?? What am I supposed to do, go out and get a job to bring the money because YOU won’t do it?? I have to do everything around here.”
“Hey!! Where is everybody going??? Why are they leaving, Karen??? You’re going in the hole because ALL of these people must have read Mike and Marty (and that sh*thead, Tony Ortega’s) blogs!! They wouldn’t leave me like that! Security! Bar the doors!! (jumping up and down) Now security isn’t even doing what I tell them to do!!!! Where the hell is RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINDEERRRRRR!!!???”
Jethro Bodine says
Not just green underwear; BUT FLUORESCENT GREEN UNDERWEAR! Nice attention to detail. I can already feel some highly-paid private investigators starting to tail Regraded Being. Just let him die.
Bruce says
Should’ve been a tiger striped banana thong/sling instead of green undies….would’ve matched his creepy, egotistic personality better…
Simi Valley says
F’ing awesome!
Dawn says
Hilarious post!