“Nut buckets” 🙂 I’m stealing that, Skyler!

Hey Aqua!

It has always seemed to me that logic and math do not apply to this cult unless they want to make a negative point about people who are not in the cult. In that case, they can use logic and math all they like.

So, when they want to figure out just who might be the reincarnation of Tubby, they do not have to be restricted by pesky things like logic and arithmetic. But when they want to heap verbal abuse on people like Mike & Leah, they can use logic and arithmetic as much as they like. What a bunch of fucking hypocrites, liars and nut buckets!

You’re very kind to say that, Bill. But with no false modesty, I’m not in your league, help-flow wise. Thank you, though 🙂

Aqua:
Thank you for your long and thoughtful reply. You are probably correct in everything you said. I had a few cognitions reading it. In my opinion, you are quite a person yourself

Bill,
I hear you on everything.
I don’t know you, but here is my sense of you from what I’ve read that you’ve posted:

We all like to help and want to help and feel good when we help.

Ok, that’s the majority of us.

But some people really, really, REALLY want to help.

Who they ARE is just one huge “let me please help” button, you know?

Now, the way I’m writing it makes it sound horrible or propitiative but it isn’t.

Its actually beautiful and natural.

There’s nothing FORCED about it.

It just sort of FLOWS out of SOME people in a very natural way. Effortlessly. Some people exude this quality, without even trying.

Its very recognizable. Its THERE for anybody to see.

Such people are totally vulnerable and they STAY vulnerable. Who they ARE is somebody who helps, that’s all. They don’t want to close up. They can’t close up.

They don’t get OVER this when they get older. They can’t ever really hide or stifle it, for long. It is who they are. They help. This is what they DO. Knowing they’ve helped becomes what they HAVE. Be, Do, Have on the help flow line.

Now, HOW do they help? Thousands of ways.

But this quality, when its in abundance – OMG. These people with it, they can’t hide it – they are so vulnerable!
They can be, and frequently are, taken advantage of, exploited, selfishly, ruthlessly.

People with this strong desire to help need PROTECTION. Because they can’t protect themselves. This doesn’t mean they are weak or cowardly. They’re just vulnerable because they love and need to help other.

Like an artist needs to paint or a dancer needs to dance, etc., they have to go on helping. They have to make themselves available. This comes from WITHIN themselves. People like this, without adequate protection, can end up wrongly used, abused, exploited, bitter.

I suggest now, Bill, that someone should have been looking out for YOU.

That quality you had – you still have it. Its still there, underneath all the layers of bitterness and betrayal.

Bill, you just needed a pit bull.

Someone to protect you while you went around being who you were.

You’re still that same person. Don’t regret being someone who strongly wants to help. That’s a mistake.

You just needed protection, that’s all. A spouse, or a relative, to watch over you, to tell anyone who trying exploit this vulnerability with a snarling, “OK, back off, now! Leave him alone!”.

There are very wealthy people who are utterly vulnerable. They can’t say no. So they have accountants who say no. Or all their money goes to a Controller who can say, “No”.

Same principle. Some people MUST help. Its who they are and its their purpose and they’re MISERABLE if they don’t. You just needed a pit bull, that’s all 🙂

Well, yes, that’s why I was in! Self improvement! That said, I DID, not too long after joining up really GET that if each individual got improved we’d be helping each other a lot better, lifting each up a lot easier and more effectively because as individuals we would be, each of us, a lot stronger and more powerful – we would NATURALLY form strong, helpful groups – I did get that concept and agreed with it. But the cult didn’t want that! That route was WAY too SLOW for the cult. In the end, what they wanted and expected was nothing less than total self-abnegation. ToTAL. And that was wrong. I KNEW it was wrong, and not the right way. Jesus, even LRH said it was wrong! But then, in the end, what was going on in my org was ALL Command Intention All The Time. LRH was, for all practical purposes, out the window.

Aqua.
Sounds like you were not as deadicated as I was. The Captain Freewinds told another staff member in my presence Straass would lay down his life for this ship…
The self abnegation became a point of pride. I tolerated injustices, Out Tech and squirrel admin because that was part of my duty as a SO member to provide amusement for him. I was the owned property of DM and my sole reason for existence was to do as I was commanded for the time that it was my privilege to be permitted to exist. But like Tom in the cartoon above, I screwed up dying. I had all the help I needed. But I was a CICSOHB and I failed to die.

Aqua.
Sounds like you were not as deadicated as I was. The Captain Freewinds told another staff member in my presence Straass would lay down his life for this ship…
The self abnegation became a point of pride. I tolerated injustices, Out Tech and squirrel admin because that was part of my duty as a SO member. I was the owned property of DM and my sole reason for existence was to do as I was commanded and provide amusement for him for the time that it was my privilege to be permitted to exist.
I am perhaps damaged goods but not beyond repair.

They had several busses out at the QI as I recall. I pulled an engine out of one of them during Reno’s time or some such. I moved into the Heart of Clearwater when the cult bought it in 79.
I do not remember the Holiday Inn in CW but I lived in the GT or Golden Triangle in 86. It looked like it was built just in time for the 1906 San Francisco quake. I had a PTS Type III roommate by the name of Sam Speevak who I heard had been on the Apollo.
He woke me up at 2 AM to show me some proof that people had come to the March 13 event in spaceships. I was going to report the incident to Security but he disappeared the next day. Either security took him or he flew off in the spaceships

THAT would be a total hoot!