You are correct. I have been staying away from the person and don’t wish to have any contact with them. Take care.

What I have observed (and I’m talking about at least two people with all these characteristics) is that over time they refine their ‘techniques’ and thus get worse.
If you try to ‘help’ them, even if you are good at not falling into their schemes and put in all the effort, they drain your soul but don’t change one bit.
That’s why I said what I said. The important thing is to recognize them and stay away.
Take care.

I have only met one who fits the description of covert narcissist. You are right about what you have stated. I never met my former friend until later in life. So I could not tell you what they were like growing up, etc.

Pam, I can only agree with you, as in many cases it can’t be otherwise due to the parents and childhood. However, I have observed that there can be different degrees of dramatization of this condition, sometimes much more acute. That person I mentioned and others I have known with this condition who all have siblings are nevertheless singular cases within those families.
Sure, there might have been some kind of trauma, but my idea, having dealt with them for a long time, is that they lack a quality like empathy entirely from birth. They are skilled at being affable, brilliant, accomplices, friendly, cooperative, etc., but always and only with the aim of controlling and influencing others to gain something essential from others that they lack.

I agree with your opinion. It also can go back to how they were treated by parent(s) who may have not given a damn about the person who turns out to be a narcissist.

She tried it with me a few times and, as we say here, she hit her horns hard against the wall. Indeed, staying aware of who you are and what you think, and recognizing the predatory behavior patterns of the narcissist, is crucial. If you are attentive, you won’t let them go too far because for every sentence they say, you can ask more specific questions about what they mean and why, and break their pattern. Otherwise, just get up and leave.

As a final note, this is just my opinion, but these people cannot be cured. From a conscientious/spiritual point of view, they lack something within them that wasn’t there originally. They can pretend to have changed if forced, but that emptiness inside them can only be filled through controlling others and sucking life out of them. It is pathologically tied to their idea of staying “alive.”