That’s some twisty-tangly tricksy-speaky. By ending with “as laid out by LRH” it deceptively suggests the entire definition of an Ideal Org came from LRH, rather than the very last item about the flow lines.

DM’s Ideal Orgs are all about buildings rather than people. My experience in an org that got its fancy building was a spifffy new building with 20 very standardized but also very empty auditing rooms. Maybe, if they hadn’t been bled dry paying for the building and renovations, there’d have been 20+ people who wanted auditing. Even if there had been 20 paying recipients, there were only 2 trained auditors.

Peridot, please don’t feel obliged to respond to this last post of mine. Perhaps I’ve been testing Mike’s patience, as well as yours, in continuing to beat this guilt-drum of mine. I have the sense of you as a person ready willing and able to look from viewpoints other than your own, and that as such you fully understand what I shared and do not judge me and therefore do not require any further vein-opening by me on this topic 🙂

You are very, very kind to me, Peridot. And beyond tactful. I still judge myself for not knowing.

I cringe today at having had this huge, long-term CRASHING MU on the Sea Org, and many unkind thoughts of its members. That Sea Org members were being crushed under the heel of a heartless, ruthless tyrant, that they were in large part some of the most giving, hard-working, unselfish, dedicated people walking the earth – I’m being such a bore but I have to keep saying that I didn’t know!

Let me put it this way so that we can both laugh a little:

As terrific as the Class V staff were at “love bombing”, JUST as terrific if not more so were the Sea Org members at projecting that “cold chrome steel” persona.

The staff I knew well; some of them even shared apts with me. I saw their vulnerabilities.

But I never saw any vulnerability EVER from ANY Sea Org member!

At least when I was around, they – together and as individuals were simply MAGNIFICENT at projecting Cold Chrome Steel. The mask never lowered or if it did I didn’t see it. That artificial personality they were MANDATED to project! Like the love bombing, I bought the SO members cold chrome steel hook, line and sinker. This was THEM, I believed.

Never mind how hard anyone was trying. All that mattered were Stats, Dones. Being totally unreasonable. No excuses. No compassion, no understanding of the staff who I KNEW were trying so hard. CCS, all the way, 365/24/7!

And the young SO kids were the worst at this. Man, I couldn’t stand them – for what I THOUGHT they were.

Well, I hated that. And I hated THEM. And I was SOOOO wrong!

I keep saying this: “I didn’t know”. I’m sure I sound like the non-Jews in Germany when questioned about the concentration camps.

To you, Peridot, and to all ex-Sea Org members everywhere – I’m so sorry. I judged you unfairly. I was wrong.

And to current Sea Org members although its doubtful you’re reading this blog – but anyway, to you; here’s hoping you realize that you are good people, and that there could be nothing better for you to do for yourself and for your fellow man than to leave the Church of Scientology.

This is what I have to say, Aquamarine: Wow, Wow, and Wow. The dark underbelly of this group is so very sad and dark indeed, and hidden well.

Peridot, thanks, for this feedback. I can tell you well know of which you speak.

And what you say is all true except that as a PC I did not have “unlimited funds” – quite a distance from that operating state, I assure you!

But then, non-rich and non-celeb that I was, I DID get love-bombed – oh, boy, did I ever! Pretty much continually. And the staff were good at it, or else I was just dumb and naive, or a combination of both.

In any event, whether due to my own ignorance (and vanity), or via the staff’s skill at making me believe that I was a remarkable and unique being, in practically every way and that they really cared about me, I ate this up like ice cream!

No question that I was in a cocoon, a bubble and very happy within it!

Now, I did see that the Class V staff had huge workloads and were frequently struggling to stay in ethics and producing on their posts. One could not be a public for decades without observing this.

However, as incredible as it sounds, it is also true that I had NO clue about the vicissitudes of Sea Org life, and what THEY were going through.

On the contrary, in my ignorance and because I didn’t like them for what I considered their awful attitude with the Class V staff (ALL my sympathy was with the
Class V org staff) and from the sole viewpoint of my observations of them yelling at the staff, etc. I thought they had it EASY, and that they had joined the Sea Org because they 1) Didn’t want to work hard and 2) Wanted to be boss over the Class V staff purely by virtue of their having signed a “billion year contract”.

Again, I know this sounds totally incredible but for all my time in as a public I believed this “dub in” and operated on this huge misunderstanding about the Sea Org!

I even left believing this and it wasn’t until I started reading the blogs that I finally got the truth about what they endured – I could never have imagined this, never. What Sea Org members suffered – it was beyond my imagination that such could be possible!

But I’m digressing – my point in these illustrations is that for all my time in I was in a bubble, and when I left it was because of what I observed to be out-tech! I still knew nothing about the abuses.

Today I know that if I had known about the abuses of Fair Game and Disconnection sooner I would have left much sooner.

But, no, I was “loved” and “admired” and “totally cared for” by the staff of my little org and when I left it was out of horror that they were “off line” and “out-ethics” as regards the Ideal Org Program.

@Aquamarine: These remarks of yours resonate with me as well: “I make no apologies when I say that what I learned in Scientology helped me and without a doubt overall helped me to live a happier and more productive life. Keep in mind that I was never staff or Sea Org. No doubt if I ever had been my experiences would be quite different, and not at all in a good way. Also keep in mind that I did not do the OT Levels.”

I’ll go a step further, if one has mostly only experienced Scientology as a preclear (pc), they may be principally experiencing a posh life in this group. If a person has unlimited funds, the ride being a pc entails a lot of pampering.

I guess the old saying applies here: “You probably don’t want to see how the sausage is being made.” By that I mean, most public never have any true idea of life for a staff or Sea Org member.

So sad, cause many of the offerings constitute some very fine sausages (metaphorically).

Am I wrong? Look wonderful on the outside but are terrible on the inside?