It is a long story. Happened when I was eleven. Shared with Mom and since we were Scientologists, my Dad did the lower conditions – wore a dirty grey rag, did my chores, cleaned my room…really weird. Since we used the “conditions” regularly, my siblings kept asking what was up. My Mom asked if I wanted her to divorce Dad, but this was not an appropriate question for me and I told her, ‘no’. The abuse stopped, but trust was forever broken. 8 years later, my little sister shared with me a similar incident. By then Dad was already OTII. At 19, I was afraid I’d made a huge mistake and put my sister at risk. I know now, it was not my fault – none of it was.

My family always thought Scientology was the cure for this problem…it was not. I’ve been through therapy and since my Dad’s death about 8 year’s ago I don’t worry about him hurting anyone else. The best thing we ever did was bringing it out in the open, at least among our family. My father stood before his family and accepted responsibility and asked forgiveness for his actions. I eventually forgave him…for myself. I never left him alone with my kids. And I wouldn’t let him hug or kiss them. They were kept at arms length from their grandfather. When they were old enough to understand, I told them what had happened to me and why I was so protective of them. They understood and were grateful, but it was a burden to them.

It is important to know that my father was a victim himself. He was molested by his boy scout leader in the early 1950s. He never told anyone and never got help. I’ve connected with many victims over the years and each of our perpetrators were victims themselves at one time. Every victim handles it differently, women are less likely to become perpetrators, but awareness is key.

It is one reason why Miriam and Saina’s stories were so very important to me. I am grateful for all they, Mike, Leah and others have done.

“My first auditor barely looked at her meter; it was all about me; she was kind; I needed that; it was fun.”

One of the points of auditor training to was to view the meter using peripheral vision so as to seem to NOT be using one, to the PC.

Just another part of the scam folks. (never watch how sausage is made)

I have a copy of Dianetics that I like to keep around. It is a gas.

It is like this: let’s take a moderately intelligent and literate human, give him a dictionary and a thesaurus, and assign him the task of trying to write a book pretending to be the most pompous ass that the earth has ever produced. And there you have it, LRH and Dianetics.

Ammo – Thanks for the interesting information. I had a rock slam in session once. I could hear the needle clacking back and forth and my female auditor got a bit startled. I always figured it was because she almost discovered that I had romantic notions toward her, but now I’ll just attribute it to a worn out cheap e-meter!

Wynski – In the Grand Debate about whether scn produces any lasting benefits it’s often mentioned “Hubbard Promised!!!! . . . some ability.” He promised everything to everybody! I don’t get spinny about it.

I did a dictionary search on introversion and it seems to have some contradictory meanings. In dictionary.com some synonyms are contemplating, meditation and reflection as well as brooding, egoism and self-absorption. In general usage, being extroverted is a good thing and being introverted is a bad thing. Brooding about my faults is what I had in mind in my comment above about introversion.

I would use the word introspection as less confusing when referring to any kind of counselling.

introspection – observation or examination of one’s own mental and emotional state, mental processes etc.; the act of looking within oneself

Thanks for the question – it helped me clear up a confusion. Now I won’t feel guilty about why I “introvert” over something I just screwed up – laughter

I can’t quite remember the quote by Jon Atack regarding LRH ‘discoveries’, but it went something like this:

“Hubbard never had an original thought in his life.”

LRH had a propensity for plagiarism. He was unable to conduct research, matter of fact showed time and again he did not understand what research was. He was a guy who was truly clueless, who came to a full stop when he could not steal ideas from someone else.

Any wins from Scn came from techniques imagined and codified by someone other than LRH. He could not figure out anything, but give him enough of the right barbiturates, and send in Nibs with some speed and a mighty case of jet lag, and together they could collaborate on a history of mankind. Right, how accurate was that?

Then there are the e-meter Rock Slams, which according to Jon Atack sent 2/3 of Flag management to the RPF during a couple of seasons. It turns out all those Slams were caused by the cheap components used in the e-meters – the cheap carbon potentiometers of the tone arm were grinding away with every swing of the arm, dropping bits of carbon here and there inside the case. After the bits accumulated at just the right spots, they caused the tone arm to Rock Slam, described by LRH as a sure sign of crimes by the person under audit, and for the auditee, a sure ticket to the RPF. This defect was built into the Mk 5, Mk 6, and first runs of Mk 7 e-meters.

But really, all those many Rock Slams were nothing but the end result of building e-meters with poor design and using the cheapest possible components. I would not be surprised at all if ” a “persistent floating needle” which can last for weeks. ” was not just another sign of cheap design and build quality of the e-meters.

When they had gutted Flag and other upper level operations of executives, and sent them off to wash floors at an RPF somewhere, they realized they had to find the true cause or else shut down for lack of able management people. So someone finally recognized the true problem, and they re-called all the defective e-meters for service. They simply replaced the cheap original parts with better parts which did not deteriorate and cause Rock Slams under normal use. Problem solved, but of course the meter owners had to pay for the service, not the people who specified the cheap components to begin with.

Why did this occur? Because by using cheap components, LRH could deposit a few more pennies in his Swiss account(s). It was always about the money, always.

“that’s just introversion”?

# One Son, Thanks for sharing your story. Did you ever tell your mom about you dad’s molesting you? I”m sorry you had to experience that.