Lili, you could be writing my own thoughts. I too cherry-picked out of the tech that which I found useful, what made sense and was helpful, and to what was inspiring.

Like you, I too sectioned off what didn’t make sense and/or that which I understood but outright disagreed, putting it all into a separate mental bin hazily labelled “Once I’m OT This Will Probably Make Sense And Be Useful”.

And then I, too would project a cheery uptone-ness about the tech that valued and used while saying almost nothing about the tech with which I disagreed. Thank you so much for your honest sharing 🙂

Ever My Defender! The very idea of someone calling Lady Aqua a Ho! But… wait! Look up in the sky! Its a bird…itsa plane…its… ALCOBOY!
Fighting for Truth, Honor, Justice, The American Way, etc., etc., but most importantly Aquamarine’s Spotless Reputation!

Happy Easter, Alco 🙂

Aquamarine,
I’m so glad that you now acknowledge your own ability and no longer let LRH take credit for your goodness, ability, and your own addition to the motion.
I believe that wanting to find the ‘secrets’ and the ‘good bits’ helped me survive my Scientolologyland adventure. The Supervisor never knew that I was cherry-picking the bits I thought would help me.
I know LRH plagiarized from the best, and I like to think that I glommed onto those thefts from wiser minds, rewritten in his words to find a path through my meandering studies. A path to less confusion.
I definitely leaned into the bits that made sense in my life and even if I had to clay demo some awful and obtuse ‘stable data,’ I actually used what seemed useful to me in my life and decided the confusing stuff I could circle back to in the future. Like when my ‘awareness’ was up to it.
I then jogged energetically forward onward up my bridge and hoped to avoid the confusing tech I’d just slid by. I’d pretended to understand it, by parroting what LRH said and smiling at the Supervisor or whoever wanted to ensure I understood it.
Meanwhile, I’d chirp happily about the LRH stuff I liked well enough. Even if I wasn’t impressed with it.
Smiling and making noisy, cheery-sounding pronouncements about the tech that I understood, was one of the many coping mechanisms I learned in my struggle to avoid facing my cognitive dissonance.

To: Aquamarine
From: Lieutenant Commander Shanaynay Muhammad, Nation of Islam/Sea Org.
Re: mindless blather.

What are you two hoes blathering about? What do you mean you got some good out of your training? I will be at your house to conduct a Committee of Evidence against you as soon as the cops stop looking for me.

ARC
Shanaynay Muhammad aka Bootylicious

To: Bootylicious aka Lieutenant Commander Shanaynay Muhammad, Nation of Islam/Sea Org.
From: Alcoboy
Re: Committee of Evidence

Sir:
If I ever hear you call Aquamarine a ‘ho’ ever again, I will hunt YOU down and have my own ‘Commitee of Evidence’.

ARCX
Alcoboy

You’re welcome, and I quite understand. Scientology courses helped me a great deal as well. Mostly the communication courses and drills. This training made all the difference in my work life and in turn my personal life.

That said, there is training, and then there is the person, and the person’s intention and energy and will, etc. Not to mention the physical energy necessary. I also believe that one must have affinity for the work so that it isn’t WHOLLY “work” because its what one really likes to do.

I, too, neglected to acknowledge myself back then, giving, I believe, too much credit to Hubbard and not enough to myself.

Today I believe that there is no ENDURING success in any endeavor without training, but then for the training to do any good, the person being trained the being himself or herself, has to want it, has to be able to persist, has to, in fact, enjoy it, really like it.

Great stories, Lili. Keep’em coming for as long as you want 🙂

Aquamarine, that is so beautiful. I definitely would have given you two free gifts, not one.
While selling Fuller Brush and door to door sales taught me a ton, I gave all the credit to LRH.

Lili, I loved this story. I have some reality on telephone “cold calling” and what it takes to go on to the next call after someone has just slammed the phone down on you or otherwise shot you down (or after 5 people have just done that.) But you had to show up at peoples’ homes and make yourself uptone and agreeable to them and interested, etc. That’s a whole different level of confront – much, much higher. What energy and drive you had. And force of personality. If you had come to my house I probably would have bought every brush in the catalogue. Well, you know what they say: “No one is easier to sell than a salesperson.” But its more than just compassion for fellow salespeople and what they have to endure to succeed. You’re GOOD. I would have been putty in your hands 🙂

To: otherles
From: Midshipman Shanaynay Muhammad,Nation of Islam/Sea Org
Re: questioning authority.

You are ordered to a Committee of Evidence to answer for a statement you just made regarding the questioning of authority. Our beloved COB, whose name is not ‘slappy’, is the highest form of authority in the MEST universe and is not to be questioned. CofE will be conducted after my release from jail.

ARC,
Midshipman Shanaynay Muhammad.
Nation of Islam/Sea Org.

To: Midshipman Shanaynay Muhammad,Nation of Islam/Sea Org
From: Stephanie Adams
Re: otherles

Girl, you need to lay off these people on this blog! They’re just talking about how rotten your church is and you keep trying to shut them up! That ain’t right! So shut your mouth, ho!

Outta here,
Stephanie Adams.

To: Midshipman Shanaynay Muhammad,Nation of Islam/Sea Org
From: Alcoboy
Re: Committee of Evidence

Hasn’t Louis Farrakhan bailed you out of jail yet?
No?
Good.

No love at all,
Alcoboy.