Seven Years…
…and still not SH Size. Let alone producing more Clears in their zone than triplets born on the third Friday of each month. Not really a celebration at all. Just another ploy to reg and recruit.
Graduation…
…every other week?? Not enough completions to make it worthwhile to do it each week? And they need to add another floor to their building?
Is this a Joke?
Who is going to pay $25 to hear Joke talking about ethics and discipline? Wonder what makes Joke an expert?
Record Breaking?
The largest trash relief organization on earth? Hope someone is around to take some shots of this massive event.
Living in a cardboard box…
Do they really think handing out booklets will change this?
Double your income in 6 months…
Right.
What a line up!
Even Patrick Renna. Wowee zowee.
Here he is again…
Working on doubling HIS income…
Make more money…
Once again, the very religious look of scientology teaching the tricks of making money. While taking more of yours.
Wow — massive expansion
One staff completed the Purif. Β Still not SH size after all these years.
Incredible live entertainment
Detroit is heading to a new even emptier building. How entertaining.
A true perspective on scientology?
It’s ALL about ribbon-yanking. It’s the only thing that happens.
Mace-Kingsley the champions of children
Are you committed to…
Hiring PI’s, following people, putting together smear sites etc. If so, OSA is the place for you.
Still dangling the moldy carrot…
After 30 years they are still tossing this around as if it is real?
Continue pirating…
With royal approval!
Still working on SH Size
Come on…
How come ex-SO Christine Weightman is not giving money to HER org in Paris? She was the DSA Paris for years. We never hear ANYTHING about ideal orgs in France? Not one? Why not? (Hint, Miscavige is afraid his investments might not be safe there, so why bother with any ideal orgs…)
Wow – now they added team building drills!
Should make a ton of money with that. Grab the balls and squeeze til they pay. Pass the buck to me. Tug-of-war with your wallet. And an over the top fundraiser. How would anyone miss that!Congratulations to Leah Remini and A&E for well deserved Emmy nomination for Outstanding Informational Series. You are the best.
FlyingBurrito says
Wait….Mace-Kingsley?? That’s still a thing? You have to be shitting me.
Tina Marie says
Make junkies stop shooting up drugs by giving them literature to read! Fascinating concept!
Marie says
Mike! I loved reading all the above! So…to be an “ideal org” that means your building is not empty? It has lots of members and staff?
I wish the Cos here in Sacramento had great big events. I would be all over them with my camera.
Marie says
OK….so the ribbon yanking DOES happen? But then the buildings are/remain empty after that?
Why? Who does that?
Also I see that one gal and her diploma are here in Sacramento!
Marie says
“How to double your income”. Aren’t they just going to take it anyway?
I don’t understand how folks fall for that one:(
Mark Fulton says
Just a silly question. After the ribbon cutting at an ‘ideal org’ opening, is the public invited in for milk and cookies or are everyone told to go home, have a nice day?
thegman77 says
Free? Oh, c’mon, bo, you know better than that! LOL
donald king says
Doctor Winteregg, who sounds like someone from a Thirties horror film, ‘went clear’ in 1996. Then he ‘went clear’ again in 2005. What does it feel like to be double clear?
secretfornow says
I figured out a a way I can safely listen to Chris Shelton and did so this day. π π π between what I heard today and today’s funnies all I have to say is this:
I’m glad I’m no longer staff.
I’m GLAD I’m no longer staff!
I’m glad I’m not longer STAFF!!!
I’m SOOOOOOOOOOOO Bloody GLADDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!
(and I’m also glad I never ever ever ever gave one thin dime to any extra IAS nonsense or Ideal Org crappola.)
π
It’s so good to find silver linings.
thegman77 says
Bravo, m’friend. You’ve turned off a dead end street in life and come back to the highway.
Gravitysucks says
Yay!! I’m happy for you too!! π
WhatAreYourCrimes says
Gavin Potter, not that guy again!
He has a lead on OT 9 and OT 10, does he?
(I refuse to use roman numerals, they are pretentious as shit.)
The special briefing begins at 7pm, and the “refreshments” are served at 7pm.
Unless these higher beings are drinking baby blood, my only guess for the refreshments would be Kool-Aid.
What a crock of nonsense.
Newcomer says
I think Gavin has decided that all of the new Oh Tea sevins and ates need a little clean up and tune up action before the new A&E series begins. It would also help Sharron Webber balance the books for the rust bucket. They love getting their remaining ‘top of the bridge’ public down to the prison for some grilling and BBQing.
The last time a I recall this happened was in 2007 or 2008. It was a big push to get everyone ‘ready’ for the eminent release of Oh Tea niner and tenor. Lots of pressure back then. I was heading for the ‘dissaffected list’ and my refusal accelerated that process. I wish it had happened 20 years earlier!
OhioBuckeye says
“ERADICATING PLANETARY RUINS…..” so…they are going to level the Coliseum, pull down the Pyramids and dismantle Machu Picchu ???
Newcomer says
Better start with Big Blue!
Aquamarine says
And now, OMG – “Contact BJay”.
Why? So she’ll give you one?
Or perhaps its a “he”.
What planet are these people LIVING on?
zemooo says
What is Patrick Renna doing with OT Ambassadors? He is a lowly mission holder, what Lron stomped out om ’82. The ‘All USA Ideal Org Convention’ has all the charm of an Amway without the useful cleaning products.
JPGRingo says
Double your income?
“Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. ‘Get up early, work late – and strike oil.'” –Joey Adams
βThe quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.ββ Will Rogers
Old Surfer Dude says
And what about the Irish? They love ‘Dublin’ their money!
Spike says
?
Kronomex says
Nah, they’ll just keep on Dublin down on the donations.
exccla says
I’d love to know the attendance at some of these events-not counting any staff or speakers.I can’t believe many scns go. They have to realize they mostly get regged at these things. And paying money to actually go to an event didn’t happen when I was in. I’d go to events to meet guys or hang with my friends. And I’m sure they still have to clap and stand up for lrh-or is it a picture of the midget now ?
WhatAreYourCrimes says
Some of these poor saps are probably applauding to photos of Tom Cruise these days. He is prettier than LRH and DM but just as poisonous.
Gravitysucks says
I have actually wondered about a Cherch of Tom, in the event something happened to McSavage. Who will lead the planet?
JPG Ringo says
Cardboard Box Homeless Cure? Well, No… but at lest the guy has tinder to start a fire to cook the next meal
Graham says
“Lee’s Actual Graph” shows that Lee doesn’t know what an ‘actual graph’ looks like. Label both axes Lee; otherwise it aint a graph, it’s just kiddie scrawl.
Ed Kette says
On Team Building Drills for the All USA Idle Org Convention, there is a golden stick (golden rod maybe) handed off to the next ex-scieno!
Now, even the Declares are in a Big Game!
Kay Marie Rowe says
This was top of the event agenda: “How to recover your field to create winning Scientologists?” I’m curious as to how they can teach anyone to do that when they have absolutely no interest in cleaning up the ever expanding “ARC broken” field. And if they did, the ulterior motive is now and forever all about the money.
Mick Roberts says
OT: I assume Mike may make an update on this anyway, but Aftermath Season 2 is set to return on Tuesday, August 15th. Can’t wait. Congrats again Mike!
Eh=Eh says
Good news…. A&E announced Leah’s Season 2 will kick off Tuesday, August 15 at 9 PM ET/PT. ? 10 episodes…. ? ?
secretfornow says
+1
Gravitysucks says
Countdown!!
WhatAreYourCrimes says
Joke Reeder… reality is truly stranger than fiction. You just can’t make this stuff up.
disco george says
With all of those weird little pictures, too. If only they gave out Razzies for ads…
OhioBuckeye says
Joke is no joke….evidently, she’s been heavily involved with Applied Scholastics and New Horizons Academy for years. How do I know,? Just looked her up on FB.
Aquamarine says
Right? And even stranger, its a seminar about parenting! Learn how you can raise your children sot they fall like ripe fruit into the Sea Org and then get disconnected from you! Read this joke!
Jere Lull (37 yrs recovering) says
…And “Glendy GoodSELL”, Evidently BORN to Reg, currently for the VMs, who don’t very much minister to the needy, nor do they precisely volunteer.
Old Surfer Dude says
Mace-Kingsley: “There will be a lot of drilling.” Just reading that made my teeth hurt.
Mat Pesch says
Looks like the Sea Org staff will use their Saturday morning to pick up trash in Clearwater instead of cleaning their own clothes and room. Just another pathetic effort to handle Scientology’s PR problem with the local community. Unfortunately for Scientology they are the ones the community would like to see removed.
Richard says
It takes a 500-man cleanup crew to “clean up” the small city of Clearwater? That’s not exactly great promo for the City. Philadelphia, however, would welcome the assistance.
Jere Lull (37 yrs recovering) says
As one living in the Delaware Valley, the ‘burbs of philly, I’d sure welcomeany attempt to clean up “Philthydelphia”
A diamond says
I’m in the suburbs of Philly myself, Chester Co. I’d like to know what Saint Hill size actually is. And, are any mORGes near that size? What would you say an avg sized one is these days? KAW – Keep Aftermath Working
thegman77 says
The Bronx would also welcome them with open arms! LOL
kengullette says
Ahh, these set up SO many comebacks. Expand your life seminar? It should read “How to double OUR income in six months.”
And the next time I meet a drug addict, I’ll say, “Hey, you look like you need a booklet.”
kengullette says
Lee Burns’ flyer is missing something. It should say: Leave with a handout to help better define and expand your own games, and meanwhile, WE will take a handout from you before you leave.”
thegman77 says
Ken, your “booklet” zinger had me laughing aloud while reading it to my wife! That was one of the funniest lines I’ve ever heard re scio!!! VVVVVVVVVWD, as we used to say!
Aquamarine says
Would someone please define for me what an “OT Ambassador” is? Like, what do they actually DO?
Also, do they have an embassy, ha ha, just kidding.
Old Surfer Dude says
What does an OT Ambassador do? They find ways to not attend the OT meetings.
Newcomer says
They also send in meeting minutes that are for the ‘sole use of the Oh Tea Committee’ to Mike Rinder.
Aquamarine says
π Thank you, gentlemen.
Joe Pendleton says
They are ambassadors to the spirit world beyond.
Aquamarine says
“Joke Reeder” – seriously? No words.
And Lee Burns, what – is he giving us a finance seminar on his way to bankruptcy court?
Cindy says
Joke Reeder (pronounced “Yoka”) is the former nanny for LRH, so she says. She has been giving talks for decades on how to raise kids. Back in my KA drinking days I went to one or more of her seminars. I took copious notes in shorthand, which ensured that I got every word. She saw me doing that and asked me about the notes and I explained. She got very paranoid and told me not to take notes and especially not in shorthand. She didn’t want her words recorded word for word. Really was paranoid. I guess she didn’t want anyone coming back saying that she promised some result and then after applying the tech, someone didn’t get the result. It was funny how anxious and upset she got to see someone taking her words down word for word.
WhatAreYourCrimes says
Cindy, tell us more of your experiences. Did you record many other events and experiences in shorthand? If you kept these shorthand notes, that would be a gold mine of information on the internal workings of the cult that could be put to good use by exposing it all on the internet.
Cindy says
If I’d had a crystal ball, I could have done even better and secretly recorded events and then transcribed them. Alas, I didn’t. But I do know a court reporter who wrote out the court events of one of many Scn trials. She learned quickly that it is an evil cult and to stay away. She said the nomenclature almost killed her. So word about the abuses of the cult get out to all people of all walks of life in many different ways. Even so, it is important that we keep exposing them and more people come out publicly against the church and post their stories of why they left.
freebeeing says
Gee you had me there until I got to the plus… A wild crazy over the top fundraiser. “Top donor dinner” – yeah pack the sheeply whales in for some heavy duty fleecing. What could be more fun?
T-Marie says
Never anything “noble” like, learn how to get a job teaching, or become the leader of the Boys and Girls Club, train to be a registered nurse or how to get into med school. They only care about you making money, any way you can, as quick as you can, to pay them.
WhatAreYourCrimes says
Yep.
Scientology only cares about your money. Everything else is an obscene sideshow.
Wynski says
Why doesn’t the Detroit Org hire Dr. Winteregg to run that place? I mean DOUBLING the income every 6 months is what they need, right?????
Old Surfer Dude says
Because Dr. Winteregg is only there to collect his fee.
Wynski says
OSD, is it me or does his name just SCREAM, “Scam Artist”?
Old Surfer Dude says
Yep! WTF is a Winteregg anyway?
Harpoona Frittata says
What is it about $cilons and graphs!!? No one in the cult seems to understand that unless you label BOTH the X and Y axis, your graph is meaningless — it’s just a squiggly line, nothing more!
For example, the ad for the upcoming Lee Burns “21X Game Seminar” at AOLA in August features a graph which is supposed to graphically illustrate Lee’s own huge 21X leap in production during the period from mid-2012 to 2016. But not only are we not informed of what his product actually is, but graph’s vertical “Y” axis is not labelled at all.
Since the caption in ad reads, “Lee’s actual graph,” it might just be a mere oversight that this crucially important detail was omitted. However, even without knowing what the “Y” axis represents, we know that each bar line on any standard graph represents the same amount of incremental increase as any other, so even without labeling we can still evaluate Lee’s claim of having 21X’ed his success stat (probably, FSM commissions earned).
Take a look at the graph line labelled as Lee’s (who knows what the other unlabeled line is), between mid-2012 and 2016 Lee’s graphed performance rose from half of whatever increment that each bar line represents to seven bars. So, if each bar lines represents the same amount of increase, then regardless of the actual amount that’s represented (10 or 100 or 1000), we can still determine the proportional increase over time. Which, in Lying Lee’s case is NOT 21X, but 6.5X, based on “Lee’s actual graph”.
Now, let’s do a little Scilon alt statistics ourselves. Let’s say for the purposes of illustration that 100 $cilons showed up for Lee’s 21X seminar. How many of those $cilons do you think will notice the incredibly obvious “omitted data” out-point on Lee’s supposedly real success stat graph? Not many, I’d bet.
But how many of those who do notice this middle-school level math skill error are likely to speak up about it, either privately with Lee, or in front of the entire group? My bet there is not a single one of them will because $cilons are so incredibly well-conditioned to NOT critically evaluate what they’re being told. Even if they do note such obvious and glaring discrepancies, they’re very unlikely to say anything about them because they’ve been so very well-conditioned to NOT say anything that is in disagreement with, or even questions, whatever they’re told by those in authority in the cult.
Valeen Afualo says
It’s not just the Y axis. The X axis behaves crazy as well. Look at the distance from 2000 to 2012, and the distance from 2013 to 2016. The units should be equal (that’s why the X-Axis is the independent axis). Nope, not here. Amusing.
Old Surfer Dude says
Wow. Scientology is like all those Prosperity gospel people. Give us money and you’ll be forever blessed.
Zola says
There is a crystal clear distinction between living in the bubble of Scientology, and living in the real word – and I am reminded of this every time I read the Thursday ‘funnies’. But I don’t find it very funny anymore, I just wish all the good hearted people still in would wake up, leave and get their lives back. Especially the ones with children – Scientology is a draconian sect that sucks the childhood out of the young.
John P. Capitalist says
One of the interesting details in today’s post is the final ad, for the “All-USA Ideal Org Convention.”
First, I wonder if Sita Benetatos, the “Deputy Building Expansion Dir Int,” is new in the job. It would be interesting to track the history of the people responsible for the Ideal Org program over the last 5 years. Has this been a particularly deadly job with people frequently being banished to the RPF for what Miscavige imagines to be failures? Or has management been relatively constant. I don’t track individuals in management positions but perhaps someone has some perspective.
Second, why do Scientology events just ooze all sorts of fail? Perhaps because they have such poor command of logistics. The convention is having a dinner in downtown LA on Friday night. Though it’s only about 15 miles from the Valley Org to the building downtown where the dinner is, it’s probably a 90 minute drive in Friday rush hour traffic… wonder why they couldn’t manage to have a dinner at any of the numerous restaurants much closer to the org or even in some of the big hotels in Universal City, only 2-3 miles away. But noooo… they pick two points separated by one of the most congested freeways in the US for their event.
Chee Chalker says
Clearwater clean up:
Ok everyone….word is out…….some SPs have hired camera sniffing Miniature Pinschers to sniff out the cameras we have hidden on lawns and in bird houses. Take these garbage bags and retrieve all the cameras. We have 500 people, so it should only take us 12 hours to collect them all.
COB has invented new technology to spy on the SPs, so don’t worry about removing the cameras.
JUST DO IT! DON’T BE A CICS! YSCOFHS!!
WhatAreYourCrimes says
DMSCOHB! Specifically the C of TC.
LDW says
“The precise tech of fundraising”
That pretty much sums it all up for me.
Old Surfer Dude says
“The precise tech of fundraising.”
That’s when two members hold someone over a ledge 10 stories up until all of his money is shaken out.
Notreally Myname says
Sums it up for me too…. I thinks that’s pretty much all that’s happening these days.
thegman77 says
Kathy Welch teaching Team Building? I guess the first lesson is how to reveal how to get confidential plans and minutes over to Mike Rinder for subsequent publishing for all to see. LOL And I noted at least two classes on fund raising. And NOTHING at all to do with the supposed actual purposes of orgs…auditing and training. Is it any wonder so few completions are recorded of ANYTHING???
WhatAreYourCrimes says
There is no noble purpose in scientology. It is all about fleecing humans to enrich the leader. LRH said it himself. And if LRH said it, you know it must be true, right scientologists? You have all been fooled.
Ms. B. Haven says
Prediction: Heads will roll (or be put on a pike) after the All USA Ideal Org Convention. Why? These team building activities are what scientologists call ‘other practices’. The convention will fail and that failure will be blamed on some ‘SP’ introducing ‘other practices’. The same thing has happened many times before. The most notable in my book was the ‘de-dinging tech’ Kingsly Wimbush introduced at the Stevens Creek Mission back in the early 80s. Oh, those were some heady days…
The OSA folks monitoring these comments now have the opportunity to ‘slam in ethics’ on this situation but they won’t. Since one of their recruiting posters is posted here, I think they may be a bit short handed. Who will be the next to go AWOL? Keep a sharp eye out boys. You never know who will be leaving before you do. You don’t want to be the one left to turn off the lights.
zemooo says
All the team builders have to do is reference Les Dane and the 2nd most important writer of $cieno literature will look out for them. “Other practices’ are tolerated, if they bring in money.
But yeah, some one will pay for that, and for that and that other thing. All the attendees are guaranteed is another bill.
WhatAreYourCrimes says
It’s all so gross and so sad, isn’t it?
Richard says
The de-dinging tech – That was a part of the “always flow power to power” doctrine. I recall listening to a tape, probably by Wimbush, where he sort of summarized it by stating “What SP put me in coach instead of first class?!!” laughter
In fairness part of it was a valid viewpoint on internal corporate warfare as well as everyday human interaction. I’ll occasionally reflect that “I just got dinged.”
I guess in those days various big shots in the scn theater were allowed to circulate some non official viewpoints of their own.
Stephen Hutcheon says
Too 21x your income…there certainly will be no mention of using social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram or Twitter…lol
As a side note…last time I looked on Twitter, David McGabage had a grand total of less then 100 followers ????
WhatAreYourCrimes says
David Miscavige is a lonely little deviant. What a waste of a life.
Newcomer says
At least he is teaching the world how the most insidious cults operate and what to look out for.
Yo Dave,
Talk to us Dave. Get over to Your SuMP and spew something that will ‘drive public into You Morgues like never before’ ……….good buddy!
bo says
So if a sea org member signs up for double your income seminar, within 6 months she/he could be making $80 a week? And it doesn’t give a price. Is it free?
T-Marie says
LOL, bo.
Ummmm, I’m gonna say they aren’t invited maybe? π