Mike Rinder's Blog

Something Can Be Done About It

Thursday Funnies

By 97 Comments

 

Really?

“The best in the world”?

 

Chan Man

He’s winning — by taking your money!

 

Should be interesting

My guess — no impact at all. Anywhere on anything…

 

A field trip?

Wow, you can go harass people for fun. Imagine how much “entheta” these people are going to hear knocking on doors of people who haven’t been near an org in years.

 

Your role in Global Dissemination

Absolutely nothing…

 

Yuck

Get their start on the Bridge…

 

Tell Psychiatrist their time is up!

Yeah, except there are MANY more of them than you, and more new ones being created every year.

 

Viability

Code for “money” (that you give to us)

 

In control of life

Code for having money to give to us…

 

Exponential expansion

Actually, no, it’s the “drive for” it.

I am “driving” to become a billionaire too.

 

Part of the solution to help others…

Ermmm, no.

 

Nice kids

Pity they rarely get to see their parents, other than for a photo op.

 

Riddle me this

Why don’t they hold this at the massive, unused auditorium at the Burbank “ideal” org that is about a mile away?

Maybe they could do some magic and get some people in the place.

And remember when scientology events were about Scientology? Not a magic show, superhero convention or pirate party?

 

“Priority front row seating”

To watch a soccer match on TV?

Obviously seriously desperate to get people into their empty hotel.

 

Scientology kids

Always sad to see

 

Drug free watermelons

 

It’s tough to get anyone to show up…

But a VIDEO of bubbles Champagne should do the trick.

 

OK, so this one IS in the “ideal org”

These people don’t seem very coordinated….

 

Photo op

The only reason VM’s are ever seen anywhere…

 

12 people are ready

That should boom this place

 

Scientology Network Marathon Party

This makes me think of A Clockwork Orange.

What a sick concept.

 

WTF?

 

Two strikes

Another empty org.

Promoting kids.

Go directly to the Hall of Shame San Diego.

 

 

Stable…

As in immovable?

They really have a strange idea of what is appealing.

 

Comments

  1. “Become one of the best in the world
    JOIN THE SEA ORG”

    You’re in the Sea Org now
    You’re stuck with the lousy chow
    You’re digging a ditch
    You’ve learned to take shit
    You’re in the Sea Org now

    You’re in the Sea Org now
    To Davy be sure to bow
    You’ll never get rich
    You son of a bitch
    You’re in the Sea Org now

    You’re doing it all for Ron
    A billion years seems so long
    You think you might blow
    But where will you go?
    You’re in the Sea Org now

    You’re in the Sea Org now
    Things didn’t work out somehow
    Did what you were told
    But gave up your soul
    Just leave the Sea Org now!

    Reply

  2. San Diego Org is empty partly due to the fact that many of their long term members who had put Scientology on the map in San Diego have been declared Suppressive. This is not lost on the field in San Diego. Those who were subjected to Scientologys black ops mis-information campaign probably did as much as anyone in helping San Diego to be a once vibrant organization. Hardly what you could call a “suppressive person” when they worked so hard for decades to service local Scientologists. The only reason they were declared was because they refused to submit to the corrupt leadership that rots from the head down in the cult. Time for the remaining fence sitters in San Diego to make their voices heard. Speak out on social media and to the press. Get up to speed with every past episode of The Aftermath so you fully understand the reason for the ongoing protest. The church is corrupt and you have been manipulated, taken advantage of and lied to. Time to hold them accountable.

    Reply

  3. The USA Ideal Convention will be held in the Valley Ideal Org Chapel.
    Please make reservations soon as seating is limited*.

    *The Fire Marshal has set the maximum capacity of the Chapel at 49.
    This allows one chair for each state, plus the event speaker, per HCOB 104 of April 1, 1958.

    Reply

  5. “A celebration so spectacular, it’ll leave you breathless.”

    Yeah, you’ll be breathless after fighting your way out of the room and outrunning the regges OR: after they sit on your chest, beating every last cent out of you.

    ; – )

    Reply

  6. REMINDER… The newest Tom Cruise movie, “Midlife Crisis: Fallout”, is coming out on July 27.

    OOOH, look in the promo, there is Cruise hanging out of a helicopter in an icy cold and snowy landscape… Grow the fuck up, child.

    Please, everyone, go out to the cinema that night, and see and support ANYTHING BUT Tom Cruise.
    He is the face of scientology, and he must own it. Boycott him and his criminal organization.

    Oh, and Cruise, I WILL go see your little ego strokes of Hollywood fluff on one condition:

    Just abandon that criminal thug and your personal leech Miscavige, and then call a press conference to announce you are leaving scientology.

    Tom Cruise, I wrote the press release for you, and it is a gift from me to you:

    “While I have gained some benefits from the practices of scientology, my conscience can not allow me to remain a member of an organization that has a proven track record of human rights abuses. I beg forgiveness from anyone that was influenced by me to become a member of scientology, and for anyone that was hurt by my membership.”

    If you spoke these words, or something similar, I will be the first in line to see your next film. Until then, I will boycott your projects. Oh, and I speak for a LEGION of anonymous people.

    Wake the fuck up!

    (Anybody that wants to copy and paste to wherever you see fit, please do.)

    Reply

  7. So, if the “great catastrophe” occurred 75 million years ago, and the great man himself said we are well on the way to reversing the catastrophe, why the fuck does he demand a BILLION year contract to any targeted nitwit who swallows the con and signs the bullshit paper that is as iron-clad as a wet paper bag?

    Reply

    • Feshbach came and delivered a seminar on Financial Solvency once. Our little org was highly honored to have him there. I remember taking copious notes, not wanting to miss or forget anything this great Opinion Leader said. Apparently, a short time later he declared bankruptcy. One can only assume he’s not giving finance seminars anymore. Maybe he’s still holding seminars but has witched topics, maybe from money to love – you know, how to have a lasting, happy marriage, that kind of seminar? Maybe he’s giving relationship seminars now. Which means that soon he’ll get divorced.

      Reply

  10. Mr. Chanman, make me OT (bung, bung, bung, bung)
    Show me the power to kill those SPs(bung, bung, bung, bung)
    Get them to kneel like my dog Rover (bung, bung, bung, bung)
    Tell them the joking and degrading are over
    Mr. Chanman, I’m so alone
    Don’t have a cluster to call my own
    Please make good your finder’s fee
    Mr. Chanman, make me OT

    Reply

  11. Thank you for all of … these phone numbers in the poster pieces to call. Hello! Is this is the Scientology org? Ok great! I have some questions. A whole lot of them. Let’s start with OT. Can you help me? What? You don’t want to talk? You’ve hung up on me. Why????

    Reply

  12. Suggestion for this coming Saturday’s Victims of the OT Twinships: Have signs made up. “Beware Barkless Doberman” . Post prominently.

    Reply

  13. Showing up uninvited at someone’s house, someone you once knew or don’t know at all, because years ago they were in your church. But they’re not now, and haven’t been for years, so you’re going to “twin up” with someone and just go this person’s home, uninvited. Presumably this person has been phoned and/or emailed and has not responded, or has responded negatively, so – you’re just going to pay a visit, giving no notice, just going right over…

    Well, there’s so much I could say about this, but its been a long day and I’m too tired to rant, so instead I’m jgoing to ask one question::

    Is Concealed Carry legal in Florida?

    My curiosity is purely academic.

    Reply

  14. I guess the “ground recovery work” and knocking on doors is the new push now. I’ve been recently pounded with phone calls on both my land line and cell. I tell them they have the wrong number and they have the wrong person. If they insist I go into how I know about their cult cause I watch Aftermath and love Leah. The response is always we’ll take you off our list.

    I haven’t received a call in awhile, untilllllll, two weeks ago when a SO bitch called. She refused to believe that she had the wrong person on the phone. Anyway won’t go into details of this call and hung up on her. This dog wouldn’t let go of her bone. So she texts me blah, blah, blah and then says “I’m sending over a Chaplain to handle you”. I wrote back saying that if anybody showed up on my property that I would call the cops and have them arrested. Needless to say I spent the whole week worrying that they would show up at my door. I have since calmed down but nevertheless I won’t put it past them. And yes I will call the cops. But it enrages me that I have to go through this crap. Living my nice quite life and now this harassment.

    Let’s think about this for a minute. How friggin desperate can you be that you have to chase down ex-scio. every which way and then knock on their door?

    Reply

  15. The Soccer promo shows us a real desperation. As for me, every four years I experience world cup soccer fever and right now am going through withdrawal. I watched every incredible game and it was SOOOOOO nice not having to explain to anyone of these bozos why I will not be on course, auditing, event, etc.

    Reply

  16. The girl in the bottom left of the AOSH Joburg pic is Jenna Habib. Her sea org brother, Morgan, is toiling away somewhere in Clearwater. He caused a stir last year when he wrote a letter to a Parishioner calling him “the biggest douche bag ever”. The letter went viral and for a fleeting time Morgan Habib was the poster boy of Scientology foot bullets. Let’s hope Jenna can be more persuasive with the Joburg douche bags… I mean suckers… sorry I meant parishioners.

    Reply

  17. The girl in the bottom left of the Joburg AOSH pic is Jenna Habib. One of her sea org brothers is Morgan Habib who, while toiling away in the bowels of Flag last year, caused a stir by writing to a parishioner and calling him “the biggest douche bag ever”. The letter went viral and Morgan became the fleeting poster boy for Scientology foot bullets. Let’s hope his sister can be more persuasive with the Joburg douche bags… I mean suckers … sorry I meant parishioners …

    Reply

  18. The girl at the bottom left of the AOSH is Jenna Habib.. One of her sea org brothers is Morgan Habib who, while toiling away in the bowels of Flag, caused a stir last year by writing to a parishioner and calling him the ‘biggest douche bag ever’. The letter went viral. Another foot-bullet by the most superior beings on the planet…. Let’s hope his sister can be more charming and persuasive with the Joburg douche bags – sorry I
    mean suckers – sorry I meant parishioners ….

    Reply

  19. That field trip notice is really telling. I’m a bit surprised they’re advertising that “We have plenty of names and addresses” of disaffected public to recover. Let’s go find their crimes LOL.

    Reply

    • Recovery is ussally to get back incompletes and checks for upsets.
      Once one is known dissafected it’s a different ball game iirc.

      Reply

  20. “Purpose: to twin up and knock on doors”, uhoh they’re starting to take tips from the Jehovah’s witnesses now lol. Dont they know that is takes the JW’s 10000 hrs to convert one person. Fact.

    Reply

  21. I’m a Yanking Wanking Davey
    A Yanking Wanker, do or die
    A real live con man like my uncle Ron
    That steely-eyed gleam in my eye
    I’ve got a Yanking Wanking war chest
    It’s my Yanking Wanking joy
    Recently I toured the ship
    To hang out with my cronies
    I am a Yanking Wanker boy

    Reply

  22. The psych poster is going to be very upsetting to some readers. Who’s going to break the news to FOOLproof that the folks in white coats herding lab rats are winning. And that’s just the psychs. If you include psychologists, counselors, therapists, etc. it is plain to see the cult is losing the numbers game. I would be willing to bet that a decent sized university cranks out more of these degrees in a single year than the cult does with its tens of thousands of Ideal Orgs, Ideal Missions, ideal Field Groups, Ideal Front Groups or Ideal Anything. While we’re at it throw in the Indies and Freezoners. Scientology has about as much societal impact a a pimple on a gnats ass. And that’s a good thing.

    Reply

    • Poor Eff-Pee. He’s probably licking his wounds from yesterday’s onslaught. It’s a tough job defending L. Ron Hubbard, but I suppose somebody has to do it.

      Reply

  23. If any of this were the then two things:

    The general public would be robustly invite to Ideal Morgue openings — not closed and open only to buses or flown in Scientology zombies and

    2) David Miscavige would be publicly availing himself of every media outlet he could muster to spread the news about the wonders of Scientology and what’s its crucial role in “clearing the planet” and saving mankind is. ? The guy is hiding under a rock. The last media interview he did was about twenty years ago with Ted Koppel on Nigjtline where he came across as a total whack job shyster literally talking out of one side of his mouth. You’d if though the guy was a used car sale con artist. The REASON David Miscavige never does interviews is because he IS a con artist and “scientology” IS nothing but a GIANT CON built to drain gullible fools bank accounts. That’s A FACT.

    Reply

  24. I’d bet there are many more CW neighbors than slurch members. Even when I first got in, in 1987, waaaaaaay down in the middle of nowhere, I heard a person or two talking about trying to get OUT of CW. It’s a very hard thing to do when you’re deeply in debt and EVERYTHING in your life revolves around the slurch. As the years went by, the number of such people grew. They were in hiding from the slurch and a lot of times literally sick over it. Once they finally had their finances together, they quietly slipped away – and got well.

    Reply

  25. Did you notice the photo of the family with the 2 kids, “You can have it all”? They all have giant bags under their eyes. Please tell me how the hell you get bags under the eyes of a 4 year old?? Is it from lack of sleep because there is no mother and father around? Maybe crying to sleep? Very sad. Oh, right, they are adults with small bodies and they can be sent to the chain locker for a few days and nights! You can see the rest of the family are powdered with make-up for the photo but the bags will only disappear with a week of 7-8 hour normal sleep to allow the expanded/swollen blood vessels to return to normal. This sort of torture is not allowed in civilized society. But, hey, LRH’s personal research proves beyond any doubt that small children locked in chain lockers for days or kissed passionately, etc… will stop their screaming because you can’t hear their muffled crying. Oh, and don’t forget the magnificent work LRH did on his son, Quintin. If Quintin was not driven to suicide by his father, I am sure he would be with us on this website or the Aftermath program. He was my CS on the Apollo. He was the nicest, sweetest person you can imagine. A kind and loving person…so opposite his father.

    Well, “you can have it all” is simply not true in the Sea Org because you certainly can’t have sleep when you need it. And, you can’t have a real family either. At least a family you love that will not be disconnected from you because you doubt LRH’s magnificent handling of children. There is simply NO ROOM for love in Scientology. Love is totally consumed by LRH’s greed for money and gaining power over others.

    Reply

    • For the sake of accuracy, these are regular org staff; not sea org. Those little one’s would bar the parents from SO ’til they’re older. But I’ve seen couples on staff try to raise kids – with very rare exception it’s a pathetic joke. Practically EVERYTHING else in life takes a back seat to their post stats, including kids. Overall, only staff members with a successful non-staff money-maker for a spouse do well.

      Reply

      • Yes, that is correct. I was in the Sea Org 1971 to 76 at AOSHEU and the staff had children. It was a sad state of affairs. True enough. But. I thought the vests they were wearing in the photo were reserved only for bellhops and Sea Org members…. I guess the outer Orgs get that fine uniform too… I drive past the Fort Harrison and Sand Castle every day and often thought they need one of those yellow warning signs something like this: picture a bellhop carrying suitcases and it says:

        Caution
        Bellhop Crossing

        Reply

  26. Maybe someone has answered this question in the past, but what is a “full-time Scientologist”? Does that mean he spends 40-80 hours a week at an org or does it mean he only practices this “one religion” of Scientology? I can’t imagine ever saying “I’m a full-time Protestant.” Very strange lingo.

    Reply

  27. My favorite is the “recovery” campaign, where they are trying to get people to run around Clearwater and knock on doors to “recover” people who left Scientology behind as an embarrassing part of their past decades ago. Given that Florida has that “stand your ground” law, which allows you to get away with shooting people who you think might be threatening you, one wonders what will happen when some nervous homeowner gets a third visit in one day from OT’s looking to get somebody back on the bridge.

    Reply

    • If they are going door to door to try to rehab some disaffected person who has been off the lines for years, decades, it just shows you how desperate they are for members. They are trying to staunch the flow of lifeblood as people leave the church in droves.

      Reply

      • My thought exactly. And blaming the latest SP’s for their ARCx field.
        I KNOW people HATE people coming to their door. And if they go after 10:00pm (like they did with me), they might have a screaming psycho on their hands (like they did with me).

        Reply

    • John P., it is not a problem for real OTs engaging in door to door recovery efforts. If someone does invoke their ‘stand your ground’ rights these OTs would be able to submit all sorts of fantastic anecdotes to Advance Magazine telling of their ability to dodge bullets or heal their wounded meat sack if they weren’t quite fast enough in the bullet dodging dept.

      Reply

    • “stand your ground” law, which allows you to get away with shooting people who you think might be threatening you is the quickest way to end up in prison.

      “Stand your ground” only applies if your life is in imminent danger. It means that you can defend yourself rather than run and hide and end up with a bullet in your back.

      The law is very clear on this. As a matter of fact, if you take the time to fire a warning shot then your life was NOT in imminent danger at that moment.

      If a Scientologist or JW or someone resembling one of them showed up at my door, I doubt that I would think they might be threatening me just for showing up.

      Furthermore, a nervous homeowner should probably not own a firearm.

      Reply

      • Well, how about answering the door with an unloaded shotgum cradled in your arms, barrel pointed downward, but obviously ready to do busness? No legal problem there, I’d venture.
        Moving right along….a couple weeks ago, two Mormon fellas started walking up to my door. I opened the door and told them politely, but firmly, “Sorry guys, I’m not interested.” They very politely backed off with a “God bless you.” They quickly got that ‘no means no.” Fat chance of the $cions ever being that well-behaved.

        Reply

        • Right on. You open the door with a shotgun and the guy thinks you’re going to shoot him, so he draws and shoots you first. The cops show up and arrest the both of you, one for being an idiot and the other for being a moron.

          Reply

            • I just stated what would happen for those who thought you were serious. I really didn’t think you would take it personally.

              I also responded to John P with his comment about “Stand Your Ground”. He hasn’t jumped my ass yet but I was expecting something.

              Reply

      • How I would love the pleasure of saying to any of them showing up at my door, “Thank you for the information. And now, you have my permission to withdraw”.

        And if they didn’t immediately leave: “I’m so sorry. This is private property, and I’m afraid if you refuse to leave I shall have to contact the authorities.”

        Oh, it would be so much fun, channeling Audrey Hepburn.

        Reply

    • I wish they would stop by my house for a round or too!

      Yo Dave,
      Speakin of too ………….. it happened again tooday ……….. at too. Howz those stats of yers? Tankin’ no doubt.

      I have learned that one of yer radarites (as in under the radar) has decided that if one event has been attended, the other three can be bypassed without penalty. Great news cause the still-inneys hate those crappy events anyway.

      But I digress.

      1) Nice of you to let Effey out to play yesterday. I’m sure he/she/it will need some recovery time.
      2) Send one of yer recovery teams by the house. I’d love to chat ……….. unless yer too chicken Dave!.

      Reply

  28. In the Gavin Potter poster, Kaye Champagne is presented as ‘Chairman of the biggest OT Committee in existence’!

    Is 35-40 member the biggest one you have guys? Come on!

    Reply

    • You’re right Silvia… that’s is the best they could do… It’s the incredible shrinking world of Scientology.

      The feeding frenzy is over for these sharks. They already ripped-off the last nickels and dimes from their public. They ate every member with money and now, because their PR is in the toilet and they have no new people, they only have each other to feed on…”where the greedy feed on the weak”. That should be the sign over the entrance gate to Scientology.

      Reply

  29. You want to know how pathetic they are and how desperate they are becoming?

    I just received a letter from a Eunice Spallino at ASHO that states:

    Dear Badafuco, (real name redacted)
    How are you doing?
    Apparently you have not been doing scientology for over 20 years.
    Have you seen the Truth About Drugs DVD?
    I want to see you make progress on your bridge.

    ARC,
    Eunice Spallino
    Letter Reg ASHO.

    OK Eunice, let’s break this down: You don’t care how I’m doing. (Better than ever)
    You know why I’ve been out for 20 years? You are money grubbing, batshit crazy lunatics. Just think how much money I saved over two decades?
    No, I haven’t seen your lame DVD. I know my own truths about drugs.
    You won’t be seeing me anytime soon, dumbass. Save the paper and postage.

    Reply

    • The only stat in POWER is letters out. I sometimes get 6 pieces of identical mail in one day inviting me to an event that already happened.

      Reply

    • Eunice is not a dumbass. See is worked to death, underpaid and has no time to think for herself. She’s been at it at least 40 years now and is likley proud of that.
      I wonder where her husband Mike and children are?
      So she’s not dumb but she does not think for herself – she thinks like Ron wants her too – dumb.

      Reply

  30. I liked this weeks funnies!
    Flag field trip: Yeah, sure! Let’s twin up, knock on doors and annoy people! I can’t wait to be told:
    GET OFF MY PORCH RIGHT NOW!(SLAM)
    NO, I AM NOT INTO FLYING SAUCERS OR XENU!(SLAM)
    YOU PEOPLE ARE FRUITCAKES!(SLAM)
    DON’T YOU KNOW THAT WE WERE DECLARED TWENTY YEARS AGO? NO?
    THEN YOU NEED TO CHECK YOUR ORG ETHICS FILES! IT SHOULD HAVE A COPY OF OUR SP DECLARE!(SLAM)
    Boy in Auckland joins staff: the sad thing about this is that a lot of times it’s the kids themselves who make this decision. I saw this several times when I was on staff.
    Slappy’s kid brudder and Bubbles: Is he really OT? If not, what makes him qualified to speak on the subject? And delivering a lecture that in essence says that going OT will turn you into a time traveling HG Welles.
    And as usual, nothing out of Nashville org. Is it Marc Vallieres or is the Dir Promo just not doing his job?

    Reply

  32. How has scn TV impacted the ideal org strategy? NOT AT ALL. It hasn’t impacted ANYthing in the real (or imagined) world. The only people watching it are all-ins forced to watch to give it SOME stats. Otherwise, its viewing public woould be zero or less. No one not forced to could take much of that drek.

    Reply

  33. I saw my neighborhood was included on that map. I’ll just let my Pit run to the door first if the bell rings. She takes care of all the other unwanted solicitors. LOL.

    Reply

  34. If Micheal Chan and Gavin Potter are ever in the same room, would the multiverse implode or would wallets, bank accounts and trust funds magically be emptied? I hope we never find out.

    Mar and Mar??? Remember what happened to the 11th Earl of Mar. A great Genesis song is no substitute for not being branded a traitor.

    Reply

  37. I’m kinda hoping there will be some takers for that “knock on doors” field trip. My expectation is that they’ll get an earful of ‘entheta’ and it just might plant a seed or fertilize one that’s already present.

    Reply

    • That’s because I stole everyone of his toys. Then I ground them up into fine powder. Lastly, I blew that powder into the wind. I thought it would be more useful that way.

      But, if I keep hearing about kids being being used for ads, my head might explode.

      Reply

  39. Sophie gained so much self confidence. Before starting she used to hide way in the back behing the furthest AV displays, but now due to the amazing wins she had she can now hide right under the receptionist’s desk!

    I just love the masterful photshop editing the IAS does for their Highly Commended commendation. Let the purple shine through! Mar & Mar – hey keep on smilin – or else…

    Reply

    • Yep! That’s what I was thinking. The only way to walk into an Idle Morgue is if you don’t have a dime on you. And even then, they’ll turn you upside down and shake you vigorously.

      Reply

      • …they will open multiple charge accounts in your name and soon you will be $64,000 deeper in debt, with a truckload of books delivered to your house/apartment/tent/box under a bridge.

        Reply

  41. I’m sure glad they surveyed all the promo and hit all the right buttons. Stats should be going out the roof any day now…

    Reply

    • Oh, no doubt! I mean, whoever heard of a Idle Morgue without stats! And yes, it will be commanded that the stats go through the roof. Literally.

      Reply

  42. 1. “Find out how SCNTV has impacted the ideal org strategy”? I thought clam TV was supposed to bring in more members. The idea morgue strategy is to raise money. These two are not linked, unless they are now going to say that demand is so high because of clam TV that they need more money for buildings. How can anyone believe this, when they see their own building is empty?

    2. Mar and Mar? Are these people who are embarrassed to share their full names?

    Reply

  43. Uuughh…my nephew Luke Knodl is the top left photo of the AOSH Africa piece….maybe he’s going to be the CO?? I heard he joined the sea org and trained at Flag for more than a year.

    Reply

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