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Thursday Funnies

September 7, 2019 By Mike Rinder 38 Comments

 

Thursday Funnies on Saturday. A bit delayed due to the Mark Bunker announcement on Thursday.

 

Anniversary of what?

Their “anniversary” of making the OT levels available in Australia is celebrated by flying in two full time fundraisers to talk about money.

“All meals and refreshments provided” (for $50 per day).

 

Desperate much?

 

Success?

I was a little worried if I got all I was supposed to?

And this is the best they’ve got?

 

Another “success”?

Well, the first was a “quickie” and this one is “overrun”.

But of course, by saying the bottom of the Bridge gives you OT ability, it passes muster.

 

“Our team”

Not looking like they are taking over the world….

 

All you need is…

A fluffy pink bathrobe, a microphone and rubber duckie pendant

California will be ideal in no time.

 

Kiddie Corner

10 years old.

I bet it took a lot to get rid of all those drug residues

 

Corny

I think they should focus on the Lumbus in Columbus

 

Funny that…

I thought Hubbard said it was in the Sea Org?

 

This is competence?

Looks like the lifeboat drill on every cruise ship

 

I went to the Freewinds….

And ended up giving money to the IAS at 1:30 in the morning to be able to get on the flight home…

This is a REAL Freewinds “success”.

There is NO counter-effort to giving them money on the ship. Isn’t that amazing.

 

A million dollars?

Wow, sign me up.

 

Well, that’s nice

It’s much cheaper and nicer to just stand in the rain to get rid of your reactive mind.

Ireland is a magical country. Even their rain is better than anywhere else.

 

Flunk

You got the arms crossed pose. But too much smiling going on here.

This is the 6 people who are going to “Clear the Midwest”?

 

What happened to London Sheila?

They are floundering around. You are their biggest and bestest FSM. Have you abandoned them?

 

Looking PUMPED

I’ve seen happier looking mug shots

 

Celebrating 36 years…

Of going backwards.

Orange County is in fact FURTHER AWAY from being cleared today than it was 36 years ago. The population has exploded during that time. Same old little org for hundreds of thousands of new people

 

Flunk 2

Arms crossed. Check.

Stern look. Flunk.

And what are you doing playing in the traffic?

 

Classy look

Got some mad graphic design skills going on here

 

Flunk 3

Almost.

 

Kids…

Creating an ideal future for Ventura…

Another fundraiser using kids?

 

Sure to be informative

Hope nobody fell for this

 

We will try anything…

To try to get anyone to come in to our empty “ideal” org.

Next up. CPR and ballroom dancing lessons.

Perhaps they should use one of their dozens of empty spaces and install a bowling alley?

 

What, no fundraising pitch?

I am sure that will be coming next week.

But with Flag and 3 ideal orgs in Florida we should soon be seeing news of hundreds, if not thousands of VM’s from “the largest private relief force on earth” descended on one of the most destructive natural disasters just 100 miles across the ocean.

This will be a real test of just how big and effective the VMs are (don’t hold your breath).

Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: Freewinds, fundraising, IAS, Ideal Orgs, International Association of Scientologists, public relations, Scientology, valley org, volunteer ministers

Comments

  1. Scientology Makes Me Want To THROW UP says

    September 9, 2019 at 1:14 am

    This is all so nauseating … I literally had to stop halfway through these PR scientology puff pieces to take half a Phenegran tablet to calm my stomach and tamp down the rising bile in my gut. How can all of these people be so god damned delusional. Sick!
    🤮

    Reply
  2. Jodi says

    September 8, 2019 at 7:48 pm

    They are KILLING me with these WordArt posters. “Ooh, I just found the gradient button. I need to use that! A lot!”

    And that guy joining Columbus staff…wow. That is not excitement on his face. What I see in his eyes is defeat. That’s the look of a man who has given up being in charge of his own life and knows it.

    Reply
  3. PeaceMaker says

    September 8, 2019 at 6:38 pm

    Orange County’s population is actually up by over a million in the last 36 years – Scientology, it’s always worse than you think, including their their decline and failure. Does anyone have any idea how many missions in the county have closed in that time? I don’t know California well enough to look down the long list of long gone missions and know which were in OC; in 1979 there were something like 44 total orgs and missions, and now they’re down to about 35, while it looks like there must be close to 100 missions in the state that have come and gone over the years:

    http://www.xenu-directory.net/documents/corporate/entities.php?groupby=jurisdiction#j-5

    And if or when they open the Ventura facility being moved from Santa Barbara, one might think they’d have to confront that making California “ideal” is not only not resulting in a boom, but not even halting the loss of locations and membership, though since all the real statistics about that state of things are hidden from the remaining uncritical bubble dwellers, that probably won’t pierce their reality distortion field.

    Reply
  4. Gail says

    September 8, 2019 at 1:58 pm

    I think it’s absolutely disgusting that they are going after veterans. How do they get away with not mentioning they are Scientology on posters like that?

    Reply
  5. Robert King says

    September 8, 2019 at 1:35 am

    The more they advertise, the more they come across as a business. What other religious group does tha t?
    100% business.

    Reply
    • Alcoboy says

      September 8, 2019 at 2:30 pm

      Uh, PTL? Jim Bakker?

      Reply
  6. Tom Ufer says

    September 7, 2019 at 9:47 pm

    So, on the drug rundown, did that woman figure out that Xanax kept her calmer than Zoloft?

    Reply
  7. Chee Chalker says

    September 7, 2019 at 5:15 pm

    I’m confused….the Atlanta team was not in a partially lit, shadowy alley.
    And their arms are not even crossed.
    This is a fake ad
    Nice try wogs

    Reply
  8. STLSuzy says

    September 7, 2019 at 3:48 pm

    Kansas City always wants to CLEAR the Midwest. What about the St. Louis .Org? Guess
    there’s no money in the coffers for fancy posters, pink robes or yellow duckies!

    Reply
  9. ammo alamo says

    September 7, 2019 at 1:39 pm

    Do all the females in these ads get their hair cut by the same Venezuelan gardener with the same dull hedge clippers? ? It’s apparent they have not walked past a licensed hair stylist since the turn of the century. The guys are no better. Barber and stylist are both MUs, but perhaps the real problem is that the clay modeling takes weeks to wash out.

    Reply
  10. Peggy L says

    September 7, 2019 at 1:34 pm

    What’s up with the duck thing? And that pink fuzzy robe? I wonder if he has on bunny slippers. Something’s just wrong with all of that. Just so wrong.

    Reply
    • Skyler says

      September 7, 2019 at 9:39 pm

      It may be one way the slaves have taken to secretly communicate with each other about when they can make their prison break.

      The duck must have some special meaning. Remember the guy with the yellow plastic duck around his neck?

      Reply
      • Komodo Dragon says

        September 8, 2019 at 12:21 pm

        Maybe the cultists are attempting to channel Howard the Duck. Wasn’t he an alien from a far, far ga-lax-ie? Perhaps the plastic duckie worn ’round the neck is a viewable stand in for Xenu?

        Reply
        • Peggy L says

          September 9, 2019 at 6:42 am

          Maybe their theme song it Rubber Duckie. I think Ernie sang it on Sesame Street. Or, it could be the kid song Little Duckie Duddle. At any rate it all seems a bit child-like, which is more than a little scary IMO.

          Reply
  11. Peter Blood says

    September 7, 2019 at 12:51 pm

    “I’ve seen happier looking mug shots.”

    The SO postulant pics ARE mug shots of sorts – of total conned LOSERS throwing away their lives and accepting off the scale levels of daily life-shortening stress in lieu of a happy life.

    Reply
  12. jere lull ( 39 years recovering) says

    September 7, 2019 at 12:39 pm

    I wonder: Is the scientology drug RD any different than the Purif?

    HURRAH! Atlanta had ONE completion worth crowing about! (In HOW MANY months or years?

    Reply
  13. jere lull ( 39 years recovering) says

    September 7, 2019 at 12:34 pm

    Is that perhaps the 3rd anniversary of AO ANZO? That’s how I read it.
    3rd anniversary of the SO crew death at the AO?
    My guesses get darker after that ;-(

    Reply
  14. jere lull ( 39 years recovering) says

    September 7, 2019 at 12:26 pm

    ā€œAll meals and refreshments providedā€ (for $50 per day).

    served by slaves paid less than peanuts

    Reply
    • bixntram says

      September 7, 2019 at 7:53 pm

      And eat sparingly, DON’T joing the Clean Plate Club! The slaves will devour your leftovers and, we can cut down on their rice and beans ration.

      Reply
  15. Old Surfer Dude says

    September 7, 2019 at 11:59 am

    This is confidence? It looks like they’re all falling asleep! HEY! WAKE THE FUCK UP!

    Reply
  16. Skyler says

    September 7, 2019 at 11:58 am

    Oh my goodness.

    THE WORLD CLASS ORG. HOW WILL YOU HELP?

    Would I be out of line by making some remarks about her dental disaster?

    I almost feel like donating some money to her but then I know where that money will go. Better if I just flush it down my toilet.

    Oh wait! I know! I can always donate to The Aftermath Foundation.

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      September 8, 2019 at 1:58 am

      Yes, someone spent money giving her blindingly white-capped teeth but it was a cheap job because they’re way too big for her mouth. She looks like a certain animial you’d want to feed an apple to over a picket fence.

      Reply
      • Alcoboy says

        September 8, 2019 at 2:33 pm

        “A certain animal you’d want to feed an apple to over a picket fence. ”
        Now, Aquamarine, stop talking about David Miscavige that way. Be nice.

        Reply
  17. Kat LaRue says

    September 7, 2019 at 11:23 am

    They seem to be getting more desperate each week. When I first started reading the blog, I thought the posters were ridiculous, but I could (maybe) see people attending- lots of local bake sales and events) Now it looks like they are just throwing things against the wall to see what sticks. (Apparently throwing Chan against the wall sticks a little since that’s who they seem to be using for most of these).

    Reply
  18. Zee Moo says

    September 7, 2019 at 11:21 am

    If that guy in the fuzzy pink bathrobe goes to Missouri, he’ll get in trouble if he ‘shows them’.

    Reply
  19. Glenn says

    September 7, 2019 at 11:15 am

    Christine Sandman Wright says “Let me know if you need any help arriving”.

    Sure Christine, send me the money for flights, services and accommodations on the Fleecewinds and I promise I will pay you back! Oh, not the sort of help you had in mind? Come on! Just postulate and send it on over.

    No, she’s only trying to get a commission on any sheep she gets to arrive.

    Reply
  20. Scribe says

    September 7, 2019 at 10:49 am

    Dave: (sipping his Scotch) Sometimes it’s hard to fathom just how incredibly stupid these guys are.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      September 7, 2019 at 12:01 pm

      I’m sure they can be more stupid. Just give them time. They’ll come through.

      Reply
    • jere lull ( 39 years recovering) says

      September 7, 2019 at 12:43 pm

      Scribe:”Dave: (sipping his Scotch) Sometimes it’s hard to fathom just how incredibly stupid these guys are.”

      Shouldn’t be too hard to fathom, Davey-boy. YOU created them and carefully nurture their continued development .

      Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      September 8, 2019 at 2:03 am

      Yes, I’m sure he laughs at them sometimes and other times just shakes his head in wonder at their utter stupidity, or ignorance, or both. And they go out of their way to LOOK ridiculous too. I suppose that looking ridiculous is their concept of “spirit of play”. With all the information out there about the cult, its hard not to be contemptuous of them. Its hard to have compassion for them. Hard for me, anyway.

      Reply
  21. Wynski says

    September 7, 2019 at 10:14 am

    Raffery should do a seminar on how to get your millionaire father to fund your businesses so you can pretend to be a successfully entrepreneur and give lectures to dupes.

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      September 7, 2019 at 10:43 am

      I think it’s his mother in law. His father is Rick Pendery who scammed money out of various Narconon programs but never became rich.

      Reply
      • Dotey OT says

        September 7, 2019 at 11:33 am

        Is that the Criminon prison guy from the Ensenada state prison scam back in the 90’s?

        Reply
        • Mike Rinder says

          September 7, 2019 at 2:10 pm

          One and the same

          Reply
      • Wynski says

        September 7, 2019 at 12:32 pm

        OK, married WELL. In the late 70’s, early 80’s Rick had a construction business. He must have failed if he got into the Narconon scams.

        Reply
    • jere lull ( 39 years recovering) says

      September 7, 2019 at 12:30 pm

      HOW TO MAKE A SMALL FORTUNE…

      First, you get a large fortune….

      Reply
  22. Belynda says

    September 7, 2019 at 8:11 am

    It becomes more evident every week: ‘Freewinds’ = ‘Ship of Fools’!

    Reply
    • jere lull ( 39 years recovering) says

      September 7, 2019 at 12:28 pm

      Belynda:
      “It becomes more evident every week: ā€˜Freewinds’ = ā€˜Ship of Fools’!”

      BINGO! I like your style.

      Reply

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