Hi Mark Marko, I am glad to read your post,thank you,amazing.When I used to sit in the empty course rooms at Asho F after the crowds that came for D and Fdn training and auditing had left for the night,and I did not have QM I would listen to Ron on those huge reel to reels every night for quite some years.I do recall being very drawn to his voice also,when I was young and starry eyed,Now I feel he did a fake British accent but back then he was the Master of Universes.I too came across a talk he did on dropping the body and how a thetan could hang around a hospital and jump into an infant’s body that was very ill,and they would live.That turned me to ice because I came three months early and was one pound and was so hopeless a case that my late “rents” did not name me for over two weeks.My birth cert reads 8/16 as date of birth instead of 8/1. Not one person knew why I survived.So hearing Ron’s take on such matters really freaked me out totally.Did I listen to that warning in my heart? Nope I went right on believing all he said until others forces broke my dream in Ron’s World and I saw the truth about all of it.But still not all at once,it has taken years for me to see the Big Picture,and I’m still working stuff out.Infinity and Evermore,Ann.

Hi Chee Chalker, Oh boy, thank you for helping me out with Irn Bru I was stuck looking at the can wondering what was in it! Bubble gum taste in a can,Classic!Love U,Ann.

Hi Aquamarine,I liked your post to John.You helped me understand your viewpoint regarding the Tech. Thank you.Far from hopeless I think you are brilliant! XO Ann.

Hi Lawrence, Great post,especially the last line!Thank you-Ann.

Thank you gentlemen.

A very clear and informative testimonial Aquamarine, thank-you. I happen to think there is a place for metered interview therapy when combined with a universally positive philosophy. If you cherry pick, you can put together such a philosophy from Hubbardism which is what most of us did at least for as long as we could. Hubbardarian theory is easily discredited but his meter-methodology was where he actually did put in hours of hands-on research and developed something that works quite impressively. But within limits of course. Auditing isn’t a path to telekinetic abilities for instance. 🙂

I Thought (I Knew the Man) – by mm

Let me talk out a story, just for my sake. I’m a little upset this evening, it’s true. But, somebody said something about Hubbard, you know, complementing his greatness and, yeah, I don’t see him that way at all. But what bothered me worse was that he then goes about the tech being derived by observation, boom, drop the fallacy on my poor head. This I say because this cat just fails to observe the sheer viciousness that possessed this man, this man fascinated by facinating people with first his stories and then his newly discovered other ways of manipulation. For me, it still gets scary and very weird trying to concieve of how many varied ways he would enjoy implementing his toy-project:
mind control,
yet at the same time con the rest of humanity into thinking he was actually a nice and good person with a flair for story-telling something beyond fashionable.

My story, the point of solitary realization, was when I knew I had a secret to keep from my auditors (“how” I kept such a secret being another story). Such the thought came when I was pondering over a tape I had listened to up in the library. I always loved hearing his jovial and somehow intoxicating voice, remember and did notice how he made the topic of past lives common place, every preclear had past life recollections, or one would gather listening to these tapes. But, one day he made this cold, I mean frozen-steel comment, rather short couple of sentences in between whatever damn point he was on, but the comment actually gave me something of a chill. The first sentence was a question, pointed, that had caught my ear. I was 20. My first sexual experience, I need to say to set this story up, I lost my virginity to a prostitute, myself age 16, to a friend of my unwitting, younger sister. Ok. Unknown to Mr. Hubbard, I had this personal relationship with a girl in this particular profession which really perked up my ears when he said that word. I mean, it was so unexpected, for one thing…

“How do you create a prostitute? Destroy the self-perception of value in that person and, done, you have a prostitute.” *

Woe. Just a matter of fact.
…and then he went on, back on the general track of his lecture. I do recall that the lectures were mostly story-telling with a string of policy letters strewn along. I never left with a feeling like I knew precisely what he was driving at, I must have to listen and hold to the whole series to get it, I thought, just Scientology sure is a great thing, no doubt about it. But, that comment on how to create a prostitute, whew, that actually scared me for a moment, alone, in my bed. Scared because I just had a thought that truly questioned the Old Man. Scared because what I heard on that tape sounded like a man that had a truly dangerous potential,
Her name was Nancy and i guess that’s all I’ll say. I paid her $5, I had to tell you just now because of this really creepy feeling came over me, remembering how creepy it was back then, knowing I had something I had to keep secret from my auditor, and only being fairly confident I could pull that particular thing off.
With-holds, they called that.
But I knew I could basically smile and make my needle float at will, see? Sure.

No, the truly creepy thing to me was thinking how easy it was for this, decidedly strange man being god?… could turn my Nancy into a prostitute without batting an eyelash.
Way too easy for him. Way, way too easy, I thought. He had it all way too easily thought out…
So, as it seems to me, my life was saved by a hooker. When I was a 15 year-old virgin. As fate would have it. I’ll let you fetch your own opinion of the Old Man, now. Thanks, I do feel somewhat better.-mm

David Miscavige is truly an asshole. And He can’t even face up to it – He scribbles His invectives over Karen Pouw’s name. Wimp.

“A smaller % kept going with scn because they thought they weren’t doing well in life and wanted to improve, via mild therapy.”

This would have been me, John, one of as you’ve stated the 10 percenters. I was intensely unhappy about something that had occurred years before and I just couldn’t shake it and move on even though my common sense told me I should. For years I pretended a good game (so I thought) but inside I was filled with a kind of despair. I couldn’t shake it and it was it was ruining me, ruining my relationships and even my work because it sapped my energy and made me apathetic about achieving. I didn’t try to escape from it with drugs nor did I self medicate with alcohol. I just endured it. I had superb physical health, was never sick, yet frequently I had to force myself to move. I always had to force myself to get out of bed in the morning and sometimes I didn’t make it out of bed and just stayed in bed, the whole day, sleeping. Sleeping was my escape, back then. Anyway, Scientology tech helped me a great deal. Actually, that’s an understatement: Scientology tech gave me my life back, or rather, helped me get into an operating state where I could take it back myself. And I did take it back. I did turn things around for myself, doing a lot of what I had neglected years before, things I should have done and didn’t do, which in turn caused me lots of problems. Life had become extremely complex because I had let it become that way so there was a a great deal to turn around, but I did. I did it, though it took years, and Scientology helped me do it, helped me to really WANT to do it. Training helped a great deal also. You’re right, in the old days there was a lot more people training than now. Nowadays hardly any of them actually train.

Ok, enough about me. But now you see that I didn’t have OT goals, homo novis and so forth. I still don’t, to be honest with you. I like being a human being, basically. I don’t think that Earth is a prison but a mostly spectacularly beautiful place, and a very interesting place. I know its a cliche but it is real to me now that life is an adventure that one creates for oneself, a continual creation. We are all here interacting together communicating and creating…ok, John, I’ll stop now.

You see, you were right. I’m hopeless 🙂