Well put Aquamarine. I too had a great deal of affinity for Cl IV & V staff, primarily because I had been one for many years. I knew why I was there, what kept me going. And you’re right they are PTS. They don’t see what’s right there in front of them, growing ever larger. Keep sharing :o)

Wow, Pepper, your reaction to the posts and the comments on it mirrors my own. I had the same or similar thought after reading a bunch, like you of, “I’m not alone! And I”m not insane!” And I”m definitely not evil! The church makes you think that if you date ask questions, that you are being nattery, critical, and it’s all your own evilness and overts. Well guess what? LRH said that “the overt doth speak loudly in accusation…”

Brilliant post Aquamarine. I hope to one day know you personally and shake your hand.

I like you Aquamarine.

Thanks :o)

I’m still processing out my furious embarrassment at being conned for IAS donations and Ideal Org donations. Periodically, I get flashes of anger about these within myself.

I handle being angry by reminding myself of why I actually flowed these donations, which was because of my liking and respect for my Class V org staff.

I liked these people, respected and trusted them. I still like and respect them as people, though, today, knowing what I know, I cannot and do not, trust them, connected as they are, for whatever reasons, knowingly or unknowingly, to David Miscavige the SP.

But I don’t hate them because its obvious to me that that these Class V org staff were, and are, honest, sincere, well meaning people. They are not con artists. They are operating on false data and missing data. They were, and are, extremely PTS. Yet I know them; they are very good people

I saw how hard they worked, how dedicated they were. I knew that a number of them had moonlighting jobs and were doing everything they could possibly do, at considerable sacrifice to their 1st and 2nd dynamics in order to be on staff and on post. These staff granted me beingness, they flowed affinity to me always. they applied ethics to me correctly as per LRH, and because of this I had no fear of Ethics and was always helped by it. They audited me and sup’d my courses quite well.. I was grateful to these staff, because my auditing and training gave me life changing gains. I liked these people, admired them.

Anyone who crush regged me by trying to intimidate me or scare me about my eternity or the future of Scientology , another imminent Dark Age , etc. got absolutely no-where with me and my wallet. I was impervious to them. They could only put me into varying stages of annoyance and resentment and dislike, but they could not control me, could not make me give them money this way.

No, it was ARC, it was granting of beingness, it was kindness to me, patience with me, it was caring of me, it was acknowledgement of me as a well intentioned, self-determined being, that melted me, that made me want to give what I could. That’s the only reason I gave to the IAS and to Ideal Orgs. I did it for the staff.

When I get periodically (pun intended) pissed about being a jerk, I remind myself of this. It also really helps to write it out and share it with y’all.

In closing this very long post, for which I thank you for reading, it occurs to me that you may be wondering why I left, or, more accurately, why I “withdrew my support” as I had had such good, overall experiences with my auditing and training and relationships with my Class V org staff. Well, in a nutshell, the answer in detail cannot be told now, but for now I’ll say, cryptically, that I was curious about something and asked someone and received a reply that made no sense. It was a little thing, not too important to me at the time, but it sort of stuck in my mind, not bothering me particularly butand when I had a chance, I pulled that thread, and, per that LRH reference which name escapes me now,I kept pulling and pulling and eventually got the Sherman Tank.

Now, if I hadn’t LOATHED Int Events, and if I hadn’t inwardly resented like hell the indefatiguable Ideal Org fundraising both of which, at that time, I BELIEVED were LHR policy, I probably would not have been curious enough to even pull this little thread. But, being, as I was then in a state of authentic ARC for the tech and the staff and, at the same time continual PRETENSE of ARC with the rest, It was a “push-pull mechanism” going on within me back then, a vacuum an indecision going on. I was answer hungry, I guess, so I pulled that thread and,eventually, along with a great many other things which dissolved my “maybe”s, I found out that crush IAS regging and Ideal Org fundraising were NOT LRH policy at all!

So I left, mentally. I withdrew my support. And here I am, to testify to the fact that a little truth is a dangerous thing, so OSA, you know, just keep doing your job to suppress the truth, just keep cutting comm lines, keep suppressing and perverting comm, just keep lying, keep doing everything and anything no matter how transparent and outrageous, to prevent the truth from coming out, because the truth IS your cult’s enemy, its only real enemy, and you are right to be terrified of it. Keep suppressing the truth, OSA. Its all you can do, after all.

With his abuses, human rights violations, dark disconnection doings, extortions and Orwellian suppression of communication … David Miscavige doesn’t have the rank to give an amnesty – not at all.