Peridot–Thank you so much. The qualities you mentioned–being honest, honorable, and constructive–will never be found in scientology. Anyone who is still in that church should take note.

Fred – I read your insights and remarks to the Mike Rinder blog community and get so much out of them. I deeply value this community. I find it honest, honorable, and constructive.

Jenn,

My dealings with scientology, especially when I broke free of them, only made me stronger. Thanks for your support.

Re: “… it was my deep listening and absorbing of these true tales COMBINED WITH several months of no domineering person at the local org being able to fully wedge their claws into me that “popped” my cork.”

Peridot,
Your comment commanded my attention from beginning to end, especially what finally “popped” your cork.

Thanks for sharing your story with this group. If we were still in scientology, such stories would never be shared because it is not allowed.

To Jenn: As you can imagine, every “Former-In” has their own tale of what prompted them to leave—their moment when, after many “straws” stacked onto the camel’s back, there is that final one which implodes the whole works.

For me, the pandemic was a primary catalyzer. After three decades of active participation and steady control (doing courses, auditing, donating large sums money I could not afford, juggling loans and credit cards), suddenly my local organization was closed. It was like that movie where the guy gets unplugged from ‘The Matrix.’

Stunning clarity arose, including I could really examine the bizarre practices, seeing the org team “amped up” more than usual (which is already pretty amped) in their quest to retain dominance over my mind and time. (This was in the form of commanding people to be paying for and doing extension courses daily from home.)

Too—and please share this with your brother—the conditions of the pandemic gave me time to fully slow down. In various multi-hour conversations with Scientology friends all over the United States, I could not believe the commonality in our life conditions. Every one of us was deeply in debt, so much debt for “church” of scientology, it was like a drowning or even a desperate financial capsize situation. If vehicle-owning, we had a car in urgent need of repair; if in a home, one or more parts of our home in exquisite and embarrassing disrepair.

With one dear friend who is 50 years-old and has completed four 2.5-year staff contracts at Scientology orgs: he barely pays his child support for his beloved young child, skips paying it frequently; he lives in a family member’s basement; he sees no hope in sight that he will ever be anything but FINANCIALLY in this poor condition. Yet…he wants passionately to be back into an org staff role (?) as soon as he gets his finances to be a little less teetering.

Jenn, it was my deep listening and absorbing of these true tales COMBINED WITH several months of no domineering person at the local org being able to fully wedge their claws into me that “popped” my cork. I finally said these words out loud: “OMG. I am in a cult.” Sterling clarity. Finally.

Maybe an observer would call my gleam of light the product of “a perfect storm,” which featured the unusual conditions of the pandemic. The temporarily closure of all Scientology orgs introduced—enforced even—a perspective I did not even know I needed.

Only when I decided to leave did I take the powerful step of googling “Leaving Scientology.” That opened a flood gate of information and understanding that, for three decades prior, I did not access. I could not, if I wanted to remain in good standing in the group. It truly is a wonder, in this day and age, that ALL Scientologists don’t easily encounter all the factual counter-narrative that demonstrates this is NOT “the most ethical group on the planet.” This group is NOT about helping or “clearing” as its chief motivation. That is frankly (my opinion) a very distant second to COLLECTING YOUR MONEY.

I had for many years, privately, been bothered by the money strong-arming. BUT…I could explain it to myself because I bought so heavily into the oft-repeated mission and urgency of “clearing the planet.” In my doubting moments, I would scold myself, “Stop being so un-serious and falling short in your commitment as a group member.”

Well, of course, that programming is EXACTLY how Scientology “command” wants you to think. What a bizarre mental train wreck, ultimately, to un-do, as a result of participating in a group that claims to have “the corner” on all things spiritual and mental health. The way they are structured and how they operate, they are falling VERY short of this goal.

I join others here in saying: Good on your sister-in-law, a highly analytical individual. Maybe she has a good “Spidey-sense” as well!

Sorry you had to go through such a day time. I hope your life has improved since then and you’ve been able to find happiness. All the best to you.

Yes. I think you might be right about your sister in-law. Glad your brother found her.

Hi, Jenn. Your brother is fortunate to have found a good wife, someone with a good head on her shoulders. It sounds like her intolerance to nonsense kept your sibling away from Scientology. Please tell him I think he’s a lucky man.

In 2010 or so, I lost my job during the recession. A string of calamities followed, culminating in my becoming homeless. Luckily, a faith-based homeless shelter took me in.

The shelter had three homes close to one another: one for women, one for women and their children, and I stayed in their men’s home.

They had quite a program for their residents. In order to live there, there were mandatory requirements, including multiple Bible studies, multiple Church worships as well as weekly meetings with a Case Manager, Chaplain and Counselor (therapist or psychologist).

I had been a Scientologist since 1977 and knew I might never again practice my religion without countless hours of penance if I saw their Counselor. The monetary cost alone of seeking forgivess from Scientology for my seeing a Counselor would be astronomical. Truth be told, I’d probably be banned from Scientology forever.

The shelter knew nothing of my association with Scientology, although the Counselor found out during our first session together. She respected my secret and I grew to respect her.

As a Scientologist, I rarely followed the news. I didn’t own a TV and never Googled “Scientology,” because the Church prohibited it.

One day, in passing, I saw a TV news segment on the late Mary Sue Hubbard. She had died some 14 years prior. Her will had allowed her dog to live like a king in her million dollar home, near the Hollywood Hills in Los Angeles. Only when the dog died would the estate finally go to her rightful heirs (her children).

I respected Scientology’s founder, L. Ron Hubbard, as a Catholic would respect the Pope. Since Hubbard’s wife, Mary Sue, had lived within walking distance of the homeless shelter, I decided to find out the address so that I could walk by and pay homage to her. Yes, pay homage to her.

So, I innocently Googled “Mary Sue Hubbard” for her address. The first result turned out to be Tony Ortega’s blog, “The Underground Bunker.” Not only did I get her address, but I read all about the shenanigans of Scientology. I got a crash course in just how dangerous Scientology is.

Tony’s website gave me more data on Mary Sue, and I asked myself: How could the wife of the Founder of my religion favor a canine over her children? It just didn’t make any sense.

I did walk by her house, but not so much as an homage to her memory, but to the years Scientologists everywhere have lost to the often insane ramblings of the fool who “founded” Dianetics and Scientology.