I am glad you are doing well. We will always be here for you. I don’t know if you’ve been watching any of Chris Shelton’s videos but I thought you might like this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6-H59GWewY

Stay thirsty my friend, there is much knowledge and friendship out here for you. ❤

I walked that same tightrope for several years, secretfornow. As far as worrying about IP addresses being traced, you likely don’t have much to worry about. They only have so many resources to harass all of us who are not on board. Unless you are making particularly large waves, they won’t put a ton of effort into tracking you down. But if you want to take extra precautions, I recommend using a TOR server from your home computer. https://ssd.eff.org/en/module/how-use-tor-windows

thanks. 🙂

I wrote about how my darling daughter was raised in and around it but never chose it. She’s over the moon with me being OUT.

No worries on being “turned in”.

But I was more wondering about hacking and tracing back IP addreses and what-not.
I wrote to Mike from a library computer to ask about it, before I posted, but I didn’t hear back, and finally just took the plunge.

I am not going to divulge specifics too much, though I’d like to.
Hence, “secretfornow”.

I’m tied very closely to IN, so I can’t just speak freely.

Now that I’m OUT I find that to be ludicrous. That I can’t speak freely without being labelled as EVIL.

It’s quite funny, “the only crime is being there and communicating”.

YUP.

Someday….someday…I will be free of it. I won’t put up with this forever.

Well first off….THEY WILL NEVER BELIEVE YOUR ARE BROKE!

House mortgaged to the hilt? Get a title loan on your 2001 Honda….only have one job? Get two! Ask your grand ma for money she won’t need it much longer. Ask your parents/friends/family/distant acquaintances! Recycle cans….You are not as broke as you pretend to be.

Being pressured to join the Sea Org is a constant.

But being broke does lessen the church’s interest in you. And debts you can’t easily get out of are a hinderance to joining the Sea Org.

But then is anyone in the Church of Scientology even on the bridge anymore? Or just re-reading books and donating to the IAS for nebulous reasons and STATUS.

Welcome to the sunlight, Secretfornow. And to answer your question, YES they do read the blogs and try to figure out who is writing under which pen name. Sometimes it’s easy for them to know because your own kids turn you in and snoop on your computer and get your pen name and give it up to the Scn ethics handlers. But don’t let that stop you from commenting. Now that Ron Miscavige’s book is out as well as Leah’s and others, I think they are short handed with personnel and they have bigger fish to fry. So write away under your pen name and join others like you.

Right?!! The things you feel are overts! It just spirals into every action is an overt from some angle or other. And the more active you are, the more you try to help, the more overts you end up committing. Because “your awareness and ethics level are so much higher.”

You never have to do a 6 month check again! Woot!!

THIS.

YES.

SCN taught me to constantly judge my every action and thought.

No matter what I was doing, it wasn’t enough.

Outwardly I was mostly fine, but deep down inside, there was the constant pressure and worry.

……..
There’s nothing like living with 6 month checks to drive you insane as regards to the minutia of the thousand possible overts committed every day.

(“I walked by that piece of paper on the ground I have to go back and pick it up!”)

Nola, I’m really OK. It’s odd, but the main thing I feel is just absolute relief. (thank you thank you, you doll face)

It’s ODD to have my entire last (almost) 40 years become meaningless – but maybe.. maybe I’m still in shock. Maybe there is a numb quality. or…maybe we’re just resilient creatures….

As you all know, getting out is an amazing process. All the ways of thinking are different, all the things we thought were true, all our ways of dealing with things, it’s all just different.

I DO feel like a kid again. I got in when I was a kid, so it’s like …I have no idea what it is to just … be a person.

I crave to be able to speak with others like myself.

Not an Indie. Indies don’t get it. Indies are still IN.
Not someone who still values any kind of Hubbard stuff. That’s not it either. .. Who cling to any shred of rightness.

Also…someone who did the OT levels. Someone who was staff and trained… someone like me… but

ahead of me.

🙂

So that’s all of you in various ways, and it’s so valuable.

Those who came out without this circle of support, oh – they’re the ones who had it tough.

I get why people want to write books. It’s like wanting to be heard. ‘This is my story, this is how it happened, this is how I got here – and I’m still finding out what HERE really is”.

We were taught and believed that then entire world was bad, worthless, other fish to fry. They were all the enemy and other fish frying.

Going to college, BBQs, family, watching a movie, Doctors, the entire Medical profession, sewing and dancing and spending time on beach with a book.

Inventors, explorers, history, Einstein, the long glorious past – nothing mattered. Nothing was right or true except the gospel according to Hubbard.

No good action was good unless it forwarded SCN. Nothing was useful unless it helped Clear the Planet.

I have lost the last 40 years

but I’ve gained the entire world, past, present, and future.

It’s a good trade.

I love you all.

I didn’t meet the Banks until they arrived at the Denver org in the mid 90’s. They’d already been in a while at that point. Lol on the mysterious OT story. 🙂

Didn’t the Banks gang move, briefly, to San Jose? “Joe Banks” was my first OT close encounter — late 90’s or thereabouts. Staying in a room (the garage?) at a friend’s house, a yellow skeleton in a threadbare robe. “That’s Joe, he’s OT.”