When I went in earlier this year, and it had a very small reception area with a TV screen, that at the time was staffed by an older volunteer who seemed to be involved in a phone conversation about some other business. The very young staff member who came out eventually to talk to me, seemed to have little ideal of how to act with someone who came in off the street acting ¨curious¨ and asking the sort of questions anyone might when visiting a ¨church¨ – where´s the sanctuary, when are services, etc.

I checked property records recently, and they still didn´t seem to have closed the deal announced late this summer, to unload the abandooned historic Hotel Alexandra property that they bought over a decade ago and then decided was´t suitable, after another deal announced last year fell through. My guess is that following a pattern going back to at least the sale of the Apollo, they are being ¨unreasonable¨ and asking too much, not realizing that dealing with the ¨wog¨ business world is not like their captive internal market, and shooting themselves in the foot by sitting on something that´s costing them money and effort unnecessarily. Since they´ve let the property deteriorate but still seem to by trying to get out of it what they paid for it, apparently even in Boston´s thriving real estate market that´s unreasonable for a crumbling white elephant.

Swear to Gawd….add this one line to the ruds section beginning the Leaving Staff Sec Check…and juuuuuuust maybe…you crack the case, he rips up his leaving R/F and puts his name back on the 3 basket system on his desk:

“was there no toilet paper?”

…………

overts section:

Did you hide toilet paper?
Did you lie about your stash of paper in your desk?
Have you raided someone else’s stash of toilet paper?
Have you felt guilty watching a public person enter the stall, knowing there was no paper?

feel free to add to this list. The C/S would.

…Mary…here’s a scaryish morning thought…..springboarding from this comment….

I was thinking and feeling how dead certain we were – the certainty in Scn .. was SO absolute… it was…like blood in the veins… LRH was right, LRH was always right in all things…the One True Stable Datum…. ..is LRH….

I have no certainty now. It’s all gone, the only thing I am “certain of” ..in a way… is that Scn is a total crock. And even saying THAT feels …unsteady. It’s like I can never be certain of anything ever again…

and maybe…

just maybe….

that level of certainty…in ANYTHING…is delusion?

I can look at the past and feel the totality of the certainty, I can feel the total emptiness of certainty …complete….for all things…. that I have now…. feel the vast difference…

There was such a comfort of certainty. Perhaps…that comfort is inherently a trap. Perhaps I should be glad for the emptiness of that comfort… and just continue to get used to it…

Life is painful without the certainty… but I’d rather have the pain and uncomfortableness than delusion.

I’ll take painful reality over deluded certainty.

yeah…at least in the beginning of this whole Upgrade Farce ..they were picking heritage buildings, beautiful old things to then fix up and turn into show pieces or whatever…..

these clunky office building things off the beaten path, with no charm or foot traffic, no darling neighborhood surrounding….

???
Huh?

I don’t get it.

and I don’t give to it!

🙂

…whispers….

I was staff…I wonder what it’s LIKE.

It’s awful to be in an empty org. I was used to being staff in an org of 35 or so staff… range from 28 to 43 and generally ran in the low/mid 30’s. This was Foundation org, nights and weekend org. When I would go into the org sometimes in the Day org, it seemed SO dead. They ran with 10 to 12 staff, and hardly any public, just a smattering.

It felt bad.

I moved about and visited orgs even smaller. I went on course when I was in those towns…in tiny empty academies when I was the ONLY student there….the sup had to twin me on drills…

Those tiny ugly orgs felt awful empty as well…..

I envision being staff in a huge new building.. all the hooplah, help and push now gone. … the org ebbs back to what it was before, and actually…even less …. because you lose people, LOTS of people …during the pushpushpushpush regging of getting the Ideal thing done….

rattling

around in big shiny empty org…

feeling in your bones that it’s your job to save the world and clear the planet……

empty

building…..

*shudder.

this morning I have stumbled into the world of Ball Jointed Dolls – there is a whole culture/community involving dolls, and it’s morphed into the Asian anime stream and more…

Just musing through a Wiki article made me laugh as another comparison sprang into view…

“There is a sizeable international community dedicated to BJDs. The largest English language BJD internet community, Den of Angels, has over 43,000 members as of February 2016”

The ENGLISH speaking Ball Jointed Doll Community dwarfs our little cult by a long shot. Apparently these things have an even bigger Asian following.

In the world there are probably more kids crying right now with a pea stuck up their nose… than there are practicing Scientologists.

…………

The scn world IS a bubble, and we were totally deluded with how big and important scn was…and how we were “winning’ and taking over and making it happen. It’s like we were living in a house of mirrors…”see? all there is is Me…it’s all I see all around me”

I think that being drawn to..and somewhat preoccupied with How Big Is Scn Really… is part of the breaking lose and shaking of the head… again and again…as we break out of the bubble forever and see how drawn, boxed, and caged we were in our view of the world and all of our thinking.

We saw bubble walls …thinking it was the endless horizon.

Hey, Marti! Was Vince Whelton there when you were a staff member?

Below is mentioned a couple of names, Captains etc in the Command etc. Would be interesting to make a list of them and hang them out. Just as is done with COB and the top in the Scn-Cult. And just as done with former KGB, SS and leaders in the Stalin, Hitler -Cult and other “Cult countries”.
Is it even possible to do in the Aftermath?
I think it can be overall good for the Healing and Disclosure and As-is-ness…

“directive” meaning follow what I say, why this should happen, if you follow what I say. Everything in dianetics and scientology is pure what would Ron do.

LOL

LRH is a failure and admitted he failed,

DM is a failure as well.