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Thursday Funnies

May 26, 2022 By Mike Rinder 24 Comments

 

Unforgettable Performances and Awards

That will be forgotten even before the event is over….

Nothing memorable about fundraising pitches, no matter how nutty they are.

 

Leadership and Expansion

This guy obviously know all about those topics… that “ideal” org in Bogota is tearing it up.

 

Top Celebrity Guest

So big, he or she cannot be named.

But what sort of “celebrity” doesn’t have their name mentioned?

Either someone embarrassed to be associated (so why are they doing it?) or someone who is not in fact anywhere close to a “top celebrity” and if they used their name it would create negative interest.

 

 

Who is holding you back Chicago?

It must be the COB.

Why else have you not moved in to your “ideal org”?

 

Hubbard Management System?

Didn’t have a lot to say about social media.

For people who supposedly know how to “gain exposure” — I have never heard of them.

I looked up Katie Dean and she has less followers than I do…

 

Summer Holiday Fun!

Only one hour and you will learn how to “effectively disseminate.”

I think this may be another promise they cannot keep.

 

Total bs

The Hymn of Asia is a complete scam.

Nuclear physicist. Medical doctor. Scientist. Philosopher. Poet. Musician. Photographer. Buddha.

 

Kiddie Corner

 

 

22 May — L. Ron Hubbard Birthday BBQ

Is Tampa Org so out of it that they don’t know Source’s Birthday was in March?

 

Remote OT Committee?

This is a new one. An org “ED” taking to social media to try to find anyone to be part of their OT Committee…

 

How Exciting!

You can now get scientology magazines directly on your phone.

The only question: Why would anyone want to?

 

The “Greatest Staff In The World”

Seriously?

 

Way, way, way off Broadway

That old campaigner Booby Wiggins is still trying to earn some commissions, but he is so 20th century they have him doing Auckland.

 

My nephew made soup!

It’s part of the Famous Family Soupathon???

This is how they are trying to get people to come in and study?

The Melbourne ideal soup kitchen?

 

Take 2?

I wonder if they know this means Take 1 was a bust?

 

Decontaminating this sector of the universe

They’re “clearing the universe from British Columbia.”

You cannot make this stuff up.

Some very cool shooping btw…

 

A BBQ extravaganza

With “Sea Org chef Mason Wells” — what is a “Sea Org chef” doing in Chicago?

And does he know how to prepare anything other than rice and beans?

As I said, you can’t make this stuff up…

 

Movie tickets are back!

I guess those other campaigns didn’t work out too well.

 

He is a Class 8 and OEC

Well, no, there’s no more Class 8 and now you have to do the GAA to be an OEC.

But even if he WAS a Class 8 and OEC, what does it say about his skills that he is trying to hawk this to “pay off debts” – no doubt incurred to achieve these incredible statuses. And now they’re raising money for more.

 

 

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: AOSHAf, Bobby Wigging, Chicago org, Daniela Massa, Hymn of Asia, James Rinder, Katie Dean, Liz Zahari, Mason Wells, Myrna Jacobs, tampa org

Comments

  1. English Bird says

    May 30, 2022 at 12:13 pm

    Why don’t the ‘big’ stars hold seminars? By big I mean TC, JT, etc. would the faithful flock to listen to them speak?

    Reply
  2. Erin Jones says

    May 27, 2022 at 7:08 pm

    I’m sure this has been asked before, but I can’t find the answer. What happened to the podcast? Are you taking a break from it forever? I miss it! You and Leah are so great together, I could listen to you two talk about anything.

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      May 28, 2022 at 12:03 am

      Thanks Erin. Just taking a break. We will be back. There are other things we had to do.

      Reply
  3. Real says

    May 27, 2022 at 10:01 am

    EMA Artist USA is an online based company touting social media prowess and it doesn’t have its own email address???? What kind of impoverished, scamming morons are they???

    Reply
  4. ExScnStaff says

    May 27, 2022 at 2:31 am

    Those two tiny tots, to what degree is it the pretty colors they’re happy about rather than anything the adults around them think. (How utterly absurd that what they supposedly completed is “Current Auditing Program”. I’d wager someone is afraid to even name what “auditing” they’ve subjected these little ones to.)

    As for the glass lion, what a clear display of the utter lack of value of any of that training he received. Shouldn’t a Class 8 with OEC and other training be absolutely exceptional at handling all areas of their life, particularly Finance?

    Separately, what good is $3000 toward paying off debt? Even if they’ve already got thousands on account at Flag for services, they’re going to need to be able to pay for weeks or months of hotel and peripheral expenses. Maybe they’re just paying down the cards so they can try to get balance increases in preparation for running them all to the max again.

    Reply
  5. Richard says

    May 26, 2022 at 10:19 pm

    The Steuben Glass Lion might get a good bid on ebay from collectors who like lion related things. My Great Aunt loved elephants and had elephant figurines all over her house. Mentioning it has something to do with scn might raise or lower the bids. Coin toss.

    Reply
  6. GL says

    May 26, 2022 at 9:45 pm

    On a side note: What a piece of vomit inducing sycophantic shit from David Koch here in Australia. Could it be that Channel 7 was scared that if they raised the issue of $camology that it could upset Little Tommy and he might melt his heel lifts in fury?

    https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/tv/morning-shows/david-koch-reveals-what-tom-cruise-is-really-like/news-story/dbed0512ceaca14df5a99b5a36e39478

    Reply
  7. Richard says

    May 26, 2022 at 9:44 pm

    The header “Scientologist Jobs and Networking” on the black background is popping up in different geographical areas. I wonder what that’s all about.

    Reply
  8. Linear13 says

    May 26, 2022 at 8:30 pm

    So they are not producing paper magazines anymore? Is that what this new app means? I think Dear Leader wants to make it a little more difficult for us SPs to get ahold of his coveted puff piece aka ‘blow David Miscavige’ mags. I wonder if you have to put in your IAS number to get the magazine app to work. And god knows what kind of tracking is in that app. Anyone out there have a burner phone and want to take the plunge? I haven’t even checked the App Store to see if it’s there. The mags long ago turned into SP hit pieces and DM puffery. Oh yeah and status, status, status…no emphasis on Bridge. Just ‘flow’ the dough. They took a page from the TV evangelicals using the word ‘flow’ and ‘seed’ to mean money. How disingenuous! Just say what you want! We all know it’s money!

    Hey OSA what do you guys think about the so called foreign Sci Cleb that’s been in comm with Ortega? Soon another one will bite the dust. Waking up is a slow process as many here know. And Celebs get special treatment don’t they. Well we will see.

    Reply
  9. Angry Gay Pope says

    May 26, 2022 at 6:10 pm

    Mike Rinder I may publicly criticize you in the future for over-posting. However, those photos of the children are priceless and, trust me, I will do my best to see that the internet remembers those photos long after we have both reincarnated.
    A scientologist I call “AGP Jr.” has just come of age at the Delphi OR location. I recorded him when he was a Santa Monica Delphi tiny tot when I was allegedly trespassing.
    HE IS SEEN HERE: https://youtu.be/T94xLs5srwo

    Reply
  10. WriteReade says

    May 26, 2022 at 5:21 pm

    The photos of the children with certificates makes me sick.

    Reply
  11. The Moose says

    May 26, 2022 at 2:00 pm

    Why would you want free Scientology magazines on your phone? Free Thursday Funnies content! The only thing they are possibly good for.

    Reply
  12. Alcoboy says

    May 26, 2022 at 11:52 am

    The Hymn of Asia is a a complete scam.
    No truer words could be said .
    It ranks up there with those additional verses added to the Book of Genesis by Joseph Smith that purportedly prophecy his coming but were taken out of the Bible thousands of years ago by “evil and conspiring men”.

    Reply
  13. Fred G. Haseney says

    May 26, 2022 at 10:32 am

    Re: Hubbard Management System?

    EMA Artists USA is part of EMA, the Effective Management Association, a non-profit with regional locations that currently focus on the East Coast, from Maine to Mighty Miami. It is designed to infiltrate every aspect of a business, affecting owners and receptionists alike. They fulfill their goals and purposes through the Hubbard Management System, touted as a “complete new learning experience.” Their website gushes praise for the OEC, the Organization Executive Course and the Management Series Volumes. Online courses and in-person training covers topics such as Operating by Statistics, the Conditions of Existence, PR & Marketing, etc. EMA’s Executive Director: Mary McCrink.

    Reply
  14. Ed Cadena says

    May 26, 2022 at 10:27 am

    That Curso del Diccionario is spot on!

    Dianética QUITO! (Dianética TAKES AWAY)

    That is for real!

    Dianética ALWAYS QUITO everything from everybody!

    Reply
  15. BKmole says

    May 26, 2022 at 10:00 am

    If they are “decontaminating that sector of the universe” that means they must be scrubbing it clean of Scientology. That would be a boon to mankind. Vancouver is a beautiful city. Removing the cult will keep it that way.

    Reply
  16. otherles says

    May 26, 2022 at 9:10 am

    Ooooh.

    Here’s something that wasn’t made up: the 25th of May was Towel Day.

    http://towelday.org/

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Towel_Day

    Reply
    • Alcoboy says

      May 26, 2022 at 11:30 pm

      Now don’t go spreading that around! Some org might find out about it and decide to celebrate it with an event and a fundraiser.

      Reply
  17. Mary Kahn says

    May 26, 2022 at 8:41 am

    It makes me laugh to read “Flag Only Rundowns.” Now-a-days that could be anything from the Purifications Rundown to the Survival Rundown (Objectives) to the L’s. Soon the Grades will be “Flag Only Rundowns.”

    Reply
    • Cindy says

      May 26, 2022 at 1:49 pm

      Mary, so true! Flag used to only deliver upper bridge. But when they need more and more money, they started raiding the lower orgs and even the Missions. Now they offer all the same things that Missions and orgs offer, only they say they do it better because they are 100% standard tech and imply the others are out tech. It is shameful that they throw all the feeder orgs under the bus and then make a grab for all their GI producing public. But what happens when all those people are gone? Where will they go raid next? It’s getting down to slim pickins now and they are circling the drain, what with no new people coming in and no more people left to poach from lower orgs and missions.

      Reply
      • Mary Kahn says

        May 27, 2022 at 8:21 am

        Exactly. It’s a sight to behold…watching the demise of the church of scientology before our very eyes. It may not happen as fast as we’d like but at least we can watch it from the cheap seats and if we’re curious enough we can buy popcorn and a couple of hot dogs and relish every second of it. I keep keeping an eye out for my son and hope that one day I see him and so many others’ children walking in our direction and back into our arms and homes. David miscavige and the rest of his crew can go down as slow or as fast as they want.

        I will continue to appreciate and celebrate my freedom.

        Reply
        • Cindy says

          May 27, 2022 at 10:32 am

          Well said!

          Reply
    • Peridot says

      May 27, 2022 at 1:09 pm

      Weighing in, @Mary Kahn and @Cindy observations regarding how the teams at Flag operate. Seeing these realities first-hand contributed to my understanding of the facts of how this group operates. Whereas, before, I bought into ‘the social veneer.’

      Ultimately, I saw that Team Flag does not operate generously or kindly to local orgs. For example, I was surprised to learn that when the “Flag World Tour” takes over your org for a few weeks—with tons of promo and putting on events and bringing in their own “Class IX auditors” to do metered interviews—there isn’t anything “in it” for the org financially, unless a person signs up and pays for a Flag service and that person has no FSM (field staff member). The local org can “claim” the person as a “selectee to Flag” and receive an FSM commission.

      That is a precarious path to the org gaining revenue from the Flag visit because many experienced Scientologists have “Flag FSM” woven into how they earn money.

      I had never been serviced at Flag. One time, during a big “Flag World Tour” I was not around for the major event. I had a family obligation or similar. A week later, an experienced “FSM” took me to lunch and did the drill—she found my “ruin” and pointed out how doing a Flag-only service was the cure. I bit. I signed on, and she skillfully got me to Flag.

      Once I was there, the local org also claimed me as a “Selectee,” even though no one at the local org had anything to do with me going to Flag.

      Experienced former Scientologists will easily forecast how this spun out: I spent the better part of the next year, along with the FSM, writing reports and talking to various departments at Flag and, no doubt, risking the entire small staff at my local org being furious with me. It was a lot of work to PROVE the org staff was not the FSM. It was such a time and energy consuming “fight”. It was, in a word, INSANE. Including, never did we ever LEARN who exactly among the staff at our local org had made the claim that I was the org’s selectee.

      I mean, folks, come on—Where is “Hiding” on the good ol’ C of S Tone Scale? It’s pretty low.

      Ugh. This is when I learned, the local org does not naturally get a take of the sales the Flag team does within the local org, despite Flag team using the org’s spaces, heat, light, bathrooms, tables, chairs, phone lists, etc. No, apparently the local org gains financially by opportunities to claim people as an org “Selectee” to Flag. That is what I observed.

      “Why do orgs roll out the red carpet for Flag to come in a few times per year and take over the place?” I asked myself. As a business model, cunningly un-fair. I bet if you are a staff member who mentions this you are put into Ethics for failure to be on-board with the bigger picture. Just another way local org staff are expected to cooperate and fall into line.

      This set of occurrences were an eye-opener for me, as a public, to better observe the many ways there is steady in-fighting in the group. Sea Org members commonly cursing a blue streak about a fellow Sea Org member in a different location who has given a technical opinion to a public that disagrees with the technical opinion of the Sea Org member standing in front of that public. Etcetera, etcetera. Many of them demonstrate such unabashed competitiveness, accompanied by no trust and strong hostility for one another. Where is the esprit de corps? Where is the ‘We are the most ethical group on the planet”? Where is the “There is only 1 Tech, and that is Standard Tech”? The disagreements on this alone are constant (various competing interpretations of tech and policy).

      The politicking and veneer of some of the internal relationships showed me some “alternative facts” of this group. Rare it is to see such instances of disdain and in-fighting among colleagues in the SAME GROUP.

      Shame on them for making public think for so long that they are all lovey-dovey and magically in-sync with each other, only serving with the purest of intentions and efforts toward a salvaged mankind and an environment without those things—ironically—which they a-little-too-frequently darkly demonstrate.

      I bless and applaud former staff members and former Sea Org members who put these things together for themselves and got out. It is so very hard to see when you are “in it.”

      Reply
  18. safetyguy says

    May 26, 2022 at 8:29 am

    What he is doing about a drug free world in the USA? Are you freakin kidding me? Nothing is being done for a drug free world in the USA. We are the #1 buyer of illegal drugs in the freakin world.

    Speaking of stupid. You can’t fix stupid but you can laugh at it.

    Reply

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mikerinder Mike Rinder @mikerinder ·
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Justice systems are "a cancer," and police and courts are composed of the "vicious and corrupt" according to #scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. Bear this in mind as the retrial of #DJDonkeyPunch Danny Masterson unfolds...
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This is destined to be an #SPTV classic comedy moment. @blownforgood and @claireheadley share details of their "first date" in the Sea Org. It's near the end. If you're not subscribed to my channel yet, please do so... There is also important content.
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How Many Taxpayer-subsidized Mansions, Homes and Offices Does a Dead Man Need? It turns out to be a LOT when it comes to #scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. Once again, where is the #IRS? How is this a valid exempt purpose? https://youtu.be/JfmJHiGfevA via @YouTube

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The DOJ details what #scientology does to destroy those speaking out about their abuses. Including but not limited to:
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  • Donna on How Many Taxpayer-Subsidized Mansions, Homes and Offices Does A Dead Man Need?: “OK so if I understand the tax exempt status laws in the USA, ALL of these properties in the USA…” Mar 30, 14:56
  • Francis Khoury on Thursday Funnies: “And that spiral, real as it is, will not be talked about, except in places like this. Cognitive dissonance at…” Mar 30, 14:41
  • Francis Khoury on Thursday Funnies: “Congrats on your departure, whenever it was. It is sad to see, you’re right. I spun my wheels in a…” Mar 30, 14:39
  • Yawn on How Many Taxpayer-Subsidized Mansions, Homes and Offices Does A Dead Man Need?: “Yep, it’s a special kind of insanity Scientology. It’s an out of control group activity of the mind that makes…” Mar 30, 13:24
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