A special edition of the Funnies just for the holidays. There is an apparently endless stream of "Holiday" promotion -- though scientology of course does not recognize Jesus as anything but part of the "R6 bank." Virtual Freewinds Wouldn't you like to be at the Freewinds for the holidays? So, to entice you to go there, they are holding a virtual concert in Los Angeles? WTF? Virtual Hawaii And the point of this? Strictly a fundraiser obviously. What does Bodhi Elfman have to do with Christmas? Or Hawaii? Or anything at all? Well, they are going to … [Read more...]
This is Funny (and it’s Thursday)
The "Rebels for Freedom" are "riding" -- virtually! You must watch the video -- it shows a bunch of unknown bikers rolling down the highway to Steppenwolf 's"Born to be wild" and then cuts to various stills of old scientology-people in sunglasses trying to look tough/cool. Like they are bikers... It says there will be "Breaking news" from the Landlord Office that will "massively accelerate" the ideal org in New Haven. I can easily translate this: if you give more money, we will "accelerate" the New Haven "ideal org." But "acceleration" of this ideal org is an … [Read more...]
Signs of the Times
In lieu of Thursday Funnies, we have a few things that have flopped over the transom that make for entertaining reading in these strange times. If you were wondering what the Sea Org "management" people are doing (in the Continental Liaison Offices and at the Flag Bureau) this gives a clue. The "managers" in EUS are "delivering" extension courses. With the orgs having little or no income, these management units are really struggling to come up with a few dollars for food. Their income, meager as it is, comes from the orgs. When the orgs make 0, the SO Units make 0. The difference is, in … [Read more...]
Thursday Funnies
Not surprisingly, the volume of promotional materials coming out of scientology has been remarkably reduced as they don't want to be overtly telling people to come in to the organizations (even if secretly, this is IS what they want). They're still only delivery basic courses This "ideal org" doesn't have much to show for millions invested. Highest Ever! They saved them up for the last week of the Birthday Game. And these numbers won't Clear even England (let alone the rest of the UK) EVER. Poor kid... She can read better? I hope she doesn't … [Read more...]
Thursday Funnies
There were no Funnies last week, so some of these are holdovers and thus slightly dated. Celebrate Verbosity If number of words was the measure of a man, I saw homeless guy who talks to himself constantly on Hollywood Blvd -- his output must be in the hundreds of millions of words/ A new Messiah? Perth? They've got about a dozen scientologists in the whole state of Western Australia (and they are responsible for Indonesia too remember...) Grand delusion. BTW, the Ron's Journal they quote from is 1974. Nearly 50 years ago now... This is … [Read more...]
Thursday Funnies
They were the heros of the Big Balloon Bust of Ventura Why aren't they doing something about Ventura instead of giving money to the non-existent org in Albuquerque? Just who is this guy? And why would anyone want to give him money? Another week gone... Still the same number of man hours needed as last week? Any excuse to try to attract some wogs... Hopefully. Maybe they think there is no Spanish-speaking Google so they can get some suckers? Oh, what a thrill... Would not want to miss out on a live-streaming … [Read more...]
Thursday Funnies
Twin Cities is #1 Seriously? 37 weeks at number 1 speaks volumes as to the state of scientology. This place is deader than a doornail... and they are the best. Few Apply, All Are Chosen And why do you always leave out the bit about terrible pay in the middle? Why no mention of Scientology? It's being held at Joburg Org. According to Google maps that is the corner of Langermann Dr and Grays St. They can't even get the address right? They spelled it right one this one... Celebrate 10 years of … [Read more...]
Thursday Funnies
On the road again... Mystery ailments and a mystery cure. Who said scientology doesn't cure physical conditions? She can drive again! This quote is not about joining staff... Typical, they can't even get their quotes from Ron right Talking Half-Heads? What happened here? Another young life wasted... But she was an employee of Grant Cardone, so it's not a whole lot different. She just won't have as much free time or money. This is all they could muster? A CLO, an AOSH and an Ideal Org and the best shots they … [Read more...]
Thursday Funnies
It's the best they've got... Funny how they tell you sitting in a sauna will make you "Think More Clearly" and lo and behold, the success story says just that! Get your kids in for an OCA! Find their ruin! Lydia Hopwood is a menace... Trying to earn FSM Commissions from kids, pimping them right to the reg. Well, not really. Not even "salvaging Columbus" actually. Wonder how many of these are Sea Org members and other staff shanghai'd and told to "replace themselves" in order to go home. This will be down to less than half this number in a … [Read more...]
Thursday Funnies
Interesting questions... How do you create your own universe? Just close your eyes and pretend. It's easy. And what about guaranteeing your OTness in the future? Just give money. In fact, the answers to ALL questions: Give us your money and we will promise anything. Clean Body Clean Mind A new take on the Purif? You can do it in the shower? Anything to try to attract some warm bodies Wonder if the Jive Asses are going to make an appearance? Is Swing a thing? They put out a promo piece for this? They are so short of completions … [Read more...]