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Thursday Funnies

February 2, 2023 By Mike Rinder 34 Comments

  For a minimum donation of $25... We will teach you how to find a 2D! Using the Hubbard technology that guided him through 3 marriages, estranged children, lawsuits, abandoned wives and so much more.   Donating for promotion now This is supposed to be the PRIMARY thing purchased with funds paid for scientology services according to L. Ron Hubbard in his "What Your Fees Buy" But it's nice that you get a "Team Player" award... That's a classy touch.   Join staff in Austin Org Because there are lots of people who HOME SCHOOL (caps theirs) … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: Alex Righetto, Alex Strijewski, Austin Org, Bernard Boling, CCHR, Chicago org, Eva Nemeth, Grant Cardone, IAS, KansasCity 100, KC 100, Kiddie Corner, Malmo Org, Message to Garcia, Ocala Mission, Ron Silva, Stacy Francis, Super Bowl

Thursday Funnies

January 19, 2023 By Mike Rinder 30 Comments

  OT Phenomena How "OT" is it to visit a friend in a foreign city and forget to bring his address and phone number?? Curing amnesia on the "Whole Track"? Hahaha The OT levels don't cure amnesia after breakfast.   No big surprise If you are flying in from all corners of the world in order to take advantage of the low prices they offer at AO Africa (compared to the other AO's, the prices are not "low"), you probably don't want to be paying airfares for repeat trips. It's a long way to Africa and a lot of money...   It's the final race to the finish … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: AOSHAf, AOSHUK, Chicago org, Columbus Org, Jean Hayes, Kiddie Corner, Malmo Org, Palmer Dernehl, Tracy Le Houillier, valley org, Wick Allcock

Thursday Funnies

December 29, 2022 By Mike Rinder 28 Comments

  Of course, this week we have a lot of late Xmas or (as someone cleverly put it recently -- R6Mas) announcements and urging people to show up to the orgs for New Years celebrations reg events. Generic Please Come   CC has a DJ and Dancing   Angels? More implants from the R6 bank according to L. Ron Hubbard   Melbourne for Brisbane Because Brisbane can't do it for themselves...   You are not mortal BUT, we will sell you your "eternity" P   This lady is going to tell you how to get up the Bridge Make a LOT of money, … [Read more...]

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Anita Liza, AOSHANZO, AOSHEU, Barbara Cordova, Chicago org, Fergus Gartlan, Jasmine Chan, Jean Dale Glass, Katie Nagy, Len Bellotti, Los Feliz Mission, Lura Schmiedeke, Manuel Suarez, Nicholas Fushi, Rob Oliver, SHelly Carter, Steve Cherubino, Susan Juss, Vancouver org

Thursday Funnies

December 22, 2022 By Mike Rinder 25 Comments

  Join us lighting the Menorah Why?   It's a holiday party And the part they are not saying: they will be pressuring you to join staff and if you won't do that, hand over cash. It's the scientology way -- "Celebrate Christmas with us, it's a time of giving. You give to us."   This is a lot of stuff... How come ONLY the orgs that are "next to go ideal" seem to put on these endless events? And why does graduation always feature something other than graduates (spoiler: they don't have any)... The "Christmas Open House" is going to feature "LRH stories" … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: Amelie Pimont, Chicago org, Chris Romani, Clive Rabey, Flag, Greg Weiss, Malmo Org, Rick Alexander, Stephanie Croman, Vladimir Reznikov, VMs, Wick Allcock

Thursday Funnies on Saturday

November 26, 2022 By Mike Rinder 20 Comments

    What Does It Take? A LOT more than 20 people posing for a photo... It's why you are still not done 20 years into this program.   Listen to Mr. Alistair Bennet And he knows? Because he has a Sea Org belt on?   A Fundamental M/U Black Friday is supposed to be where you offer big discounts...   Inspiration? More like desperation to get anyone to attend...   The Chan Man Cometh All the way to Melbourne? Wonder who is paying for this?   Thanksgiving Potluck? I thought it was supposed to be a turkey … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: Alistair Bennet, Chanukah, Chicago org, Columbus Org, Dublin Org, Evan Duffy, Evelyn Bueno, Foothills Mission, Guy Tourville, Janeece Custer, Jean Dale Glass, Jennifer Pantermuehl, Jim Wavell, Kiddie Corner, Lydia Hopwood, Michael Chan, Pat Stojak, Phil Cantwell, silicon valley, Tanii Carr, valley org, Zurich

Thursday Funnies

November 3, 2022 By Mike Rinder 25 Comments

  Why? Because Ron pretended he knew everything...   Seriously? This is good news to shout from the rooftops? Halloween is a bigger deal than Ron's Birthday or the IAS events?   I don't think so...   Keep those cards and letters coming... Not getting much input it seems   Really worried by the lack of activity...   The reality of life on staff...   ASHO They used to train the "Dukes of the auditor elite," now it's DJ's, pumpkin decorating and some "success stories" from the AO across the … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: AOSH Africa, asho, Capt Johnny Smith, Chicago org, Columbus Org, Flag, Foothills Msn, Geoff Serra, Lee Burns, Marten Runow, Mikayla Arrington, Ricky Delgado, Silvana Casu

Thursday Funnies

October 13, 2022 By Mike Rinder 14 Comments

    Why is "Graduation" never just graduation? Because they don't have enough people completing anything.   The results are in? Form where? Did they take a poll there too and discover it has the worst reputation of any group in the country?   What it's like a the top of the Bridge No different, you just have less money.   The Bay Area is Dead They're going to try to revive it. How strange, there are 4 ideal orgs there...   Raven Kane (Campbell) has a new name? Why?   Effective Management? Howe to write a … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: AOSH ANZO, Chicago org, David Campbell, Dublin, Dublin Org, Georgina Reilly, Joseph Morrison, Kathy Lackey, Kevin Smith, Kiddie Corner, Marisela Logan, Miami, Michael Chan, Mike Spurgeon, Misha Crews, Pauline Frechette, Taylor Pace, Vancouver, volunteer ministers

Thursday Funnies

September 15, 2022 By Mike Rinder 12 Comments

  These are the "top" scientology orgs... Wow, if Joburg is way up there, and Silicon Valley, OMG things are even worse than I had thought. They are both completely and utterly empty...   We are gearing up... A guy on his Method 1 is their Technical Team? They are going to be gearing up for a LOOONG time.   There are 77 neighborhoods in Chicago So, that means you should join staff. Wonder if they know Baskin Robbins has 43 flavors? That should be good for some signups too. And did you realize Chicago has TWO MLB teams? Everyone should sign up on that … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: Auditor's Day, CCHR, Chicago org, Cliff Woods, Columbus Org, Dublin Org, Joe Guernaccini, psychiatry, Tim Bowles, valley org

Thursday Funnies

September 1, 2022 By Mike Rinder 21 Comments

  How very appropriate Enter the world of Alice in Wonderland. Yes, it's OPEN!   Not funny, sad I have not had the opportunity to read the decision. The activities of scientology are NOT beneficial to the public at large. They are only photo ops.   AOSH Africa Busting open the bottom of the Bridge I wonder if Joburg or Joburg North or Pretoria (all 3 of them "ideal" orgs) have ANY customers?   They don't have certs any more? Just cheesy signs they hold up...   In true Chicago style... Half a dozen, tired old people sitting … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: Alice in Wonderland, AOSH Africa, AOSH ANZO, Chicago org, Child Scientology, Dublin Org, Emmett Osborn, Ft Harrison, Malmo Org, Netherlands, OCD, Rafferty Pendery, silicon valley, South Coast Mission, sydney org, Top Gun

Thursday Funnies

August 25, 2022 By Mike Rinder 41 Comments

  The Time is Now! Of course, it ALWAYS is. Until tomorrow, when there is something better....     How can it be more? Last week was "everything you ever wanted"?   It's really easy... Except for people who have access to the internet.   Wonder if this is legal? In most states gambling is restricted     Why is this Russian? Barcelona only delivers to Russians?   It's the next big thing Re-do your Purif and SRD. Why? Because you can...   Big Think? Ya think? None of these pix … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: Barcelona, Chicago, Chicago org, CLO Af, Colin Schrott, Columbus Org, David Miscavige, Dublin Org, Foothills Mission, Kiddie Corner, LA org, Riverpark Mission, san francisco, Vancouver

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Important Reading

Troublemaker - Leah Remini
Ruthless - Ron Miscavige
Going Clear - Lawrence Wright
Bare Faced Messiah - Russell Miller
Counterfeit Dreams - Jeff Hawkins
Blown For Good - Marc Headley
Abuse at the Top - Amy Scobee
Unbreakable Miss Lovely - Tony Ortega
The Church of Fear - John Sweeney
Fair Game - Steve Cannane
Inside Scientology - Janet Reitman
A Piece of Blue Sky - Jon Atack
Beyond Belief - Jenna Miscavige
My Billion Year Contract
Escaping Scientology - Karen Schless
Commodore's Messenger - Janis Grady
Commodore's Messenger - Book II
Scythe Tleppo - Nathan Rich
Expert Witness - Jesse Prince
Perfectly Clear - Michelle LeCaire
Ron the War Hero - Chris Owen
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