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Thursday Funnies

November 3, 2022 By Mike Rinder 25 Comments

 

Why? Because Ron pretended he knew everything…

 

Seriously?

This is good news to shout from the rooftops?

Halloween is a bigger deal than Ron’s Birthday or the IAS events?

 

I don’t think so…

 

Keep those cards and letters coming…

Not getting much input it seems

 

Really worried by the lack of activity…

 

The reality of life on staff…

 

ASHO

They used to train the “Dukes of the auditor elite,” now it’s DJ’s, pumpkin decorating and some “success stories” from the AO across the street.

 

“Top artists and celebrities”

But we are not naming them. Because nobody knows who they are.

 

Restoring calm and happiness to Chicago!

They have surpassed 10,000 booklets — 90% of them went straight in the trash.

And boy, those photos are evidence of just how much they have accomplished.

 

 

Columbus Ideal Celebration

After 3 years they should be at least 3X St Hill size. They are smaller today than when the COB yanked his ribbon here.

 

Isn’t that special?

And absolutely irrelevant to anything to do with this org…

 

Art show at the AO

That’s about all they have to offer…

 

Dinner and movies

It’s the Mecca of Technical Perfection

 

Our gift to the community?

 

Global News!

Our time…

Really?

 

The secret of money and prosperity

Shh. Don’t tell anyone.

The secret is: Stay away from the IAS.

 

Just getting started

You realize they have to wait until the entire complement is there and everyone is fully completed before they can return.

No trained executives for Chicago for at least a year.

Typical Miscavige arbitrary.

 

14 in one week!

2 OT III’s. No OT V’s. At this rate, everyone will be at the top of the Bridge… Never.

 

Capt. Johnny Smith LAPD

What are you thinking??

 

Sad

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: AOSH Africa, asho, Capt Johnny Smith, Chicago org, Columbus Org, Flag, Foothills Msn, Geoff Serra, Lee Burns, Marten Runow, Mikayla Arrington, Ricky Delgado, Silvana Casu

Comments

  1. Alcoboy says

    November 4, 2022 at 12:45 pm

    Lee Burns’ son Tristan is PAC security.
    My, my. Just another bike guard for Angry Gay Pope to heckle.
    He appears to be cute. That should be a plus
    And his senior is Parker.
    Wait. PARKER OSMON?
    Oh, Nasty Nathaniaaaaaaal! WE FOUND HIM!
    Now to locate Angel.

    Reply
  2. Ona says

    November 4, 2022 at 5:10 am

    Omg I know the Budapest staff who wants to join sea org – Andras Kadar! šŸ˜‚ he was my supervisor on twin TRs/objectives. LOL

    Reply
  3. Linear13 says

    November 3, 2022 at 11:48 pm

    So JK Rowling and/or her publishers need to send Scientology a cease and desist letter immediately. Same goes for the guy that played Harry Potter and the production company that owns the rights to the movie…cease and desist. If I were any one of the people above I would be irate that Scientology is using my work to get money out of their already broke parishioners.

    ā€œFlag Style Thanksgivingā€

    They are showing a little remembered pic called ā€œSecret Headquartersā€ that stars Owen Wilson and has a bit part by Michael PeƱa (who actually isn’t a bad actor he’s just shotgunning his career by being associated with $ci). Once again have they got the rights to show this? Have they got the rights to use the movie poster in their adverts? I doubt it. Here’s what one critic on Rotten Tomatoes says about the movie (it has a 44% rating). ā€œ There are far worse family viewing options, but given the talent assembled, Secret Headquarters is a disappointingly bland and muddled action movie.”

    I guess it was the only newish movie they had that had a Scilon in it.

    Flag is really reeling them in…bwaahaahaa…can’t wait for Miscavige to go down. He’ll hit some no extradition country first or live on open waters in the Fleecewinds.

    Reply
    • Alcoboy says

      November 4, 2022 at 8:40 pm

      I would love to see him try to escape on the Fleecewinds! I wanna see the ship run out of fuel, they’re out of money to refuel and the rustbucket drifts into US territorial waters! Extradition!
      I know. Not gonna happen but……..

      Reply
      • Komodo Dragon says

        November 7, 2022 at 8:15 pm

        The Fleecewinds is “out of money” for average parishioners and future OT 8’s, but we all know that when Tiny Boots decides to make his move, he will have PLENTY of cash to fuel the rust bucket.
        And sufficient room onboard for the elixir he can no longer go without ( at the risk of alcohol withdrawls/DT’s).

        Reply
  4. PeaceMaker says

    November 3, 2022 at 4:43 pm

    Haven’t we been seeing Europeans at the Dublin and SA* orgs, and heard nothing from ASHO EU in a long time until now? It seems like some version of higher in the pecking order orgs plundering others has been going on, and I wonder if Copenhagen is now so gutted that there is finally a push on to get them some business.

    * Kalami Castle

    Reply
  5. Ed Cadena says

    November 3, 2022 at 4:33 pm

    Silvana is growing a wooden handrail from her head:::
    That is Photography 101 NO NO

    Reply
  6. Jens TINGLEFF says

    November 3, 2022 at 2:41 pm

    Great! No need to travel to Stain Hell for the IAS event, one can just go to Malmƶ! Or, one could stay at home and re-watch another episode of Leah Remini and Mike…

    Reply
  7. Overrun in California says

    November 3, 2022 at 2:27 pm

    So Ricky Delgado is doing his little survey, and one of his questions is:
    “Did you move mountain and earth to make it go right to get here”
    Yes, he is handling the by passed charge and validating those he’s addressing, because that is what it takes to do Scientology services.
    And it’s obvious that’s what it takes. Just look at all the empty buildings. Most people don’t want to move mountains and earth to do Scientology services.
    Overpriced, over worked, over zealous….step right this way. And we always deliver what we promise. (We just never promise anything).

    Reply
  8. Angry Gay Pope says

    November 3, 2022 at 2:27 pm

    The event showing HOCUS POCUS 2 is probably violating Disney’s streaming copyright rights.

    Reply
  9. I Yawnalot says

    November 3, 2022 at 2:11 pm

    They reverse things and believe their own make-believe as to what Scientology is… which, btw – what is Scientology? I thought I knew once, some 40 something years ago but that turned out to be a train wreck. This new version looks like they just want to party without the booze. That’s severely out reality to me.
    Hubbard said just about everything he could imagine or make up as ‘research and factual data.’ Ha, didn’t we swallow that hook, line & sinker but what gets me about this new age Scio advertising is it translates to old bodies with silly little children high on sugar running them.
    I guess the only thing Scientologists can actually agree upon and never voice is that they haven’t a clue what to do. Their tech doesn’t work, otherwise they’d have orgs full of people, so they just repeat the same declining intelligent deficient dribble over and over.
    Surely there’e got to be a category in the Guinness Book of Records they qualify for… maybe in the ‘bewilderment believed section?’

    Reply
    • WWW : Wisdom of the Wog World says

      November 3, 2022 at 10:41 pm

      UTopia , defined by Socrates or Aristotle as self absorbed state ,in which a weak ( psychologically) person take refuge, its too much to face reality.

      Cults capitalise on such person , keep them obsessed with their belief.

      Cults are tool of abuse by those who invented it , and and & and always its not the founder who control it , the strings are pulled by some one else.

      Thats why many Cults dies after few decades as their founders turns out to a puppet in the hands of powerful; be it royalties,beaucracy or theocracy.

      That’s why Cults have life cycle of 50 years ,on average , from boom to burst.

      Unless they redefine themselves by confinement or isolation and move to basics, I mean , farming, dairy and poultry farming.

      So , no need to tell, what next….. ,it’s written on the wall.

      Reply
      • I Yawnalot says

        November 4, 2022 at 4:26 am

        Yeah, you make sense. Problem with me is I’ve always possessed a sword and have been trained how to use it.
        What is written on your wall is not necessarily what is written on mine. History to me is a series of mistakes.

        Reply
  10. Jeff H says

    November 3, 2022 at 12:21 pm

    That girl going to the Exec training program was the one that did the Tik Toks that Aaron Smith-Levin talked about on Youtube a few months ago…too bad she didn’t wake up in time

    Reply
  11. Sci Ex says

    November 3, 2022 at 10:11 am

    The proud SO parent is an interesting character.

    Google Lee Burns Games

    ā€œWith a voracious curiosity, fueled in part by an IQ in the top .03% of the planet, this rough and tumble Texan was riding horses solo by the time he was 5, calling the cattle home with his grandfather.ā€

    Sounds familiar.

    Reply
    • Linear13 says

      November 3, 2022 at 11:37 pm

      Nothing makes me sicker than pretentious arseholes (Burns not you Sci Ex) that have to stick in every other sentence they write shite like this ā€œā€¦an IQ in the top .03% of the planetā€. IQ measurement is an age old stick that needs to be shoved up the arse of the pretentious gobs that ā€˜invented’ it. I won’t go on a lecture of the subjectivity of intelligence. People like this guy don’t know what true intelligence is. Some 12 year old at Flag gave him an ā€˜IQ test’ and then told him he was in the top .03% in the WORLD! Go Away Burns nobody cares.

      Reply
      • Howie Spinner says

        November 4, 2022 at 3:59 am

        Linear13 – Anyone can tell you are in the top .03% IQ in the world. All they have to do is examine your post and it is obvious.

        Unfortunately, it’s just not possible to determine if your awful spelling and grammar is the result of never spending much time in school because you were too busy being schooled in the cult.

        May I suggest you add a little bit of cult jargon into all your posts so that people will realize you were educated in the ways of the cult at the expense of learning about unimportant things like spelling and grammar?

        Of course, if you don’t have any interest in going back to school at your current stage in life, you can always sit on his face and spin.

        Reply
        • Linear13 says

          November 4, 2022 at 11:32 am

          Wow ā€˜Howie’ you summed up my whole life in one venting internet post! You are the ā€˜genius’! I’m so glad we have you here to police the internet. Gosh what about all those people on Disqus that have to type ā€˜fvck’ and ā€˜sh*t’ to get by the censor bots. I’m sure you are there to straighten them all out.

          Let’s see. I’m not seeing any spelling errors there ā€˜Howie’. Since I wasn’t born and raised in the US I don’t use American ā€˜curse’ words plus I find the UK versions somewhat more polite. That’s the only words I see that are spelled differently. As for grammar and cursing…it’s an anonymous blog post not a dissertation.

          Why would I cloud any post with cult jargon?

          What is really awesome is I see that I have hit someone’s sore spot. It’s great to know that OSA is still here and/or some Scilons. Is that perhaps you Mr. B? Perhaps you have an algorithm that scours the internet daily for mention of your name. Why else would such a dedicated member come to the lair of the greatest SP?

          I see Mr. B just finished yet another PTS/SP course (how many does one need to take for it to soak in) in May plus the Survival RD and Dynamic Sort-Out. IF that is Mr.B or one of his minions I guess you are just making a ā€˜blow’ for the greatest good. If not that then perhaps just another person yet to wake up doing ethics conditions. Some ā€˜blow’ more like a ā€˜pffzzzz’. That’s not a real word just an onomatopoeia (just letting you know in case you want to insult me some more).

          As for the subjectivity of intelligence quotients just type in ā€˜IQ test subjectivity’ into google and there on the first page will be a plethora of examples. Everyone from the US government, various colleges, doctors in various subjects to anonymous bloggers talking about the outdated methods used to ā€˜test’ IQ. I’m sure you don’t believe any of them anyway but I’ll put it out there just in case.

          So welcome aboard ā€˜Howie’! Nothing gives one more ā€˜lulz’ (you might want to look that one up) than to know one has hit the target right square in the sore arse. Here’s some ā€˜jargon’ for you straight from your SRD! ā€˜See the sore arse’…’Touch the sore arse’. Are you in PT yet?

          Reply
  12. Lili R says

    November 3, 2022 at 9:57 am

    That final one. A deluded father visits his deluded son. Sad.
    I’ll see my son for Thanksgiving and Christmas. He may live far away, but we’ll visit, perhaps till mildly bored.
    But knowing we’ll get enough sleep, knowing that your family love you for you, not for achieving some state you believe in.
    How painful will it be if papa doesn’t cough up enough at the next IAS event, and his son disconnects till papa borrows enough to earn the right to talk to him between 2 & 3am?

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      November 4, 2022 at 9:43 pm

      @Lili,
      Add to your comment that Proud Papa is soon going to be hit up for more big bucks because Sonny Boy, now Clear, is “at risk”, don’t’cha know. That’s LRH and the reference is “Clears At Risk”. Gotta get them thru OTIII FAST.

      Reply
  13. safetyguy says

    November 3, 2022 at 9:39 am

    So, the secret to keeping scientology from bugging and stalking the crap out of you is to dress up in Halloween costume. Does that work when they want yo money too?

    I guess not.

    I would like to share a very large, Huge, ginormous win with the world.

    I was never in. Almost bought the book once but something about it didn’t seem right so I put it down.

    Huge win.

    Reply
    • I Yawnalot says

      November 3, 2022 at 7:18 pm

      Technically, that’s negative gain. Hubbard thought of everything, except how to apply or implement honesty.
      Nice success story.

      Reply
      • safetyguy says

        November 4, 2022 at 7:13 am

        The more I read and learn the larger the win seems to be. Know what I mean?

        Reply
        • I Yawnalot says

          November 4, 2022 at 4:55 pm

          Yeah, I do.
          Just saw a remake of “All’s quiet on the Western front.” Horrible movie really, but in the beginning all those young school boys were super keen, excited and very enthusiastic to “get into it” and do their thing for the fatherland. It was a huge adventure! Yet, if you looked, the officers and supply personnel were reticent and had false smiles. They knew the wholesale slaughter that awaited them.
          Similar type of thing with Scientology, very exciting and enthusiastic to begin with but along the way, you see good people start disappearing and falling by the wayside. The executives and senior staff give all sorts of reasons and quote all sorts of references, suppressives, ptsness, degraded beings, other fish to fry etc etc. You believed in Hubbard and the mission you had committed yourself too.
          Then, slowly but surely it dawns on you what is happening around you and you’ve been part of that enthusiasm that keeps not only yourself but other people trapped as well. It’s a hard thing to wrap your head around. Nobody wants to run over someone’s pet, but a similar sort of sick to stomach feeling engulfs you when you see people’s lives ruined around you and you’re been part of it.
          Yes, take the “wins” you feel you have in not getting involved in Scientology and good on you, but the story you are seeing told here, is, unfortunately is all too common in life. Look about carefully and you’ll see it, it’s playing out in many parts of many societies and in the world right now. That is what a dedicated, fresh faced, or in some cases a blind, not so bright long term Scientologist commits themselves to – to eradicate that sort of betrayal from mankind.
          Around 1/2 or more of the world’s population doesn’t have enough to eat – that should tell you something about human behavior/management.
          It takes a brave person to be a Scientologist. That’s what makes man inhumanity to man all the more difficult to grasp, preying on the good instincts of people – pretty much defines what evil is imo.

          Reply
  14. otherles says

    November 3, 2022 at 9:38 am

    Do I have to tell the glass cleaning story again?

    Reply

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