My mother, Barbara, disconnected from me after I spoke out about Miscavige’s abuses to the Tampa Bay Times.
Prior to that, even though I had escaped from the Sea Org (not as the church now likes to claim “that I was removed from all positions of authority”) she maintained a mother/son relationship with me, corresponding back and forth about things that had nothing to do with Scientology. Her dogs, garden, grandchildren and great grandchildren, the weather, anything but Scientology. She told me I was her firstborn and that would always trump anything else, no matter what decisions I made in my life. I was careful to keep the communication light and unrelated to Scientology — sort of a reverse “good roads/good weather” PTS handling to ensure she was not upset. I knew it would break her (transplanted) heart to be forced to disconnect from me. Due to her age and physical condition (she had a heart transplant and two very serious car accidents that had nearly killed her) she lived with my brother and sister-in-law (until they moved her into an assisted living facility).
In fact, because of this, when I was first approached by Joe Childs and Tom Tobin for their Truth Rundown series, I informed them I was unwilling to be on the record because I was afraid of the consequences it would have on my mother.
Apparently, me then telling Monique Yingling and Tommy Davis I was not interested in their effort to buy me off in exchange for being allowed to communicate to my family caused the inevitable. My mother was given Sophie’s choice. She could either stay in communication with my brother and family in Melbourne, Australia where she had lived all her life, or she could be abandoned by them and choose to remain in communication with me in the United States. Some choice. She was no longer able to even fly to the US and I was in no position to support her having just come out of the Sea Org.
In 2010 I traveled to Melbourne, Australia to attempt to see her. I had a feeling it would be the last opportunity I would have to see and speak with her. You can read about the lengths the “church” went to in order to prevent me seeing her on Marty Rathbun’s blog, There Is No Such Thing As Disconnection.
Today, I received this email (though the person who sent this to me did so with their name, I have deleted it to protect them from possible reprisal for having the temerity to communicate to an SP of my stature):
My mother was an auditor and OT VIII. She and my father had gotten into Scientology in 1961 and she had been a good Scientologist for fifty plus years, though she didnt have much to show for it in the end.
Anyone who ever came in contact with her was struck by her kindness. She was a truly sweet, caring woman who was a wonderful mother to me and my brother and sister. Her children were her greatest joy, and subsequently her grandchildren and great grandchildren. I had hoped she would sometime be able to share in the joy that her newest grandchild brings to the world, but alas, that was not to be.
When my father (also an OT VIII) passed away, Barbara lost her lifelong best friend. It devastated her, as he was killed in a one-car accident and she was driving. At the time, things were “too hot” for me to leave the Int Base, so she was left in hospital in a small country town in Australia badly injured herself and stricken with grief. It is one of the biggest regrets of my life that I didn’t just abandon my post and get on a plane to join her when she really needed me the most. I didn’t understand the insanity of my callous lack of concern for her until nearly 20 years later after I had well and truly broken free from the brainwashing. This was the single thing I most wanted to tell her, face to face, when I tried to visit her in Melbourne, along with a simple “I love you mum, and always will.”
I knew when I rejected the efforts of Monique Yingling and Co to silence me by using my desire to communicate to my family that I would thereafter dedicate myself to bringing an end to the destruction of families by the so-called church of scientology.
I also knew that I may not see that goal accomplished before my mother passed away. Sadly, I was right.
I also have a son and daughter and brother and sister who have been forced to make the same ugly choice. A son who had cancer, and the “church” didnt think they needed to inform me of that either (I was told by the media and when I went to try and see him at the Ft Harrison, Security called the police and had me cited for trespassing).
Of course, I don’t have any photos of my mother as the church didnt send me any of my personal photographs. So the pathetically small shot at the top is taken from Google Images.
It is somewhat ironic that for her the end of Disconnection from me came with the end of her life and her disconnection from the church of scientology by the only means possible. She is blessedly now no longer held by the limitations and rules that bound her in a mental (and towards the end, physical) prison.
I have come to understand on a very subjective level that nothing trumps real love and your true family and friends. Especially not devotion to a “third dynamic” that actually destroys all other dynamics in its demand for absolute obedience and unquestioned loyalty to it and nothing else.
I shall not rest until this inhumane abuse perpetrated by the cult of scientology is ended. And it WILL be ended. Destroying families while crowing from the rooftops how they are champions of human rights and getting families into communication is not just hypocritical, it deserves to be exposed to widespread scorn and ultimately enough outside pressure that their evil impulses are permanently curtailed.
Mum, may you fly free and happy. Able to choose once more who you want to share your affinity with so generously, as only you can do.
Peace be with you.
Thanks to everyone for their kind words and well wishes. It means a lot to me to know how many good-hearted people there are out here on the very fringes of the internet, and just how many friends I have.
A reader sent me a relatively recent (99) photo of Barb. The postage stamp I originally included seemed almost disrespectful, here is something a little more appropriate….