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Thursday Funnies

August 30, 2018 By Mike Rinder 99 Comments

 

Hi, give me your money

Just wanted to make sure you knew that is what I am here for.

 

Off the crossroads of the world?

That’s good? I thought you wanted to clear the world?

That’s the Freewinds line… Though they spend most of their time tied to a dock.

 

Yep, IMpossible

You had it right

 

Not really…

You haven’t reached .001% of these people in all your years of existence.

 

Where will your name be?

Perhaps left off the list like so many others who gave and gave and then were declared. No money back. No name on any plaque. Not even allowed in the building.

 

Victory?

They held out long enough for Miscavige to dish out funds from Reserves because no other orgs are getting done?

 

Faster Service?

There is nobody there? How is it faster? They glom onto anyone who arrives for auditing like they’re water in the desert.

 

Wonder how Dodge feels about this?

Their car is a symbol of scientology in Detroit? Bet they would prefer Ford or Chevy get the honor…

 

Right the first time

Unless you want to be fleeced. Then this IS for you.

 

Oh wow, then it’s a must attend event

Hope he belts out “We Stand Tall” that is always a tear-jerker.

 

We open our home…

…to take your money.

 

Jedi Sales Training

And it’s less than half price. Oh wow. And at one of those Potemkin Village storefronts. What could be more exciting (bet there is nobody there that looks anything like the people in teh stock shot they are using)

 

Man is afraid of being afraid

But he is not afraid. And other words of wisdom

 

Are they done or not?

They WON, but now they are “tackling the FULL COMPLETION”

They’re still asking for money, so I guess they aren’t really done.

 

Words of Wisdom, Lloyd…

So why do they cost so damned much?

We CAN clear earth?

Nah, we can’t. We can’t even clear our little suburb. Anywhere. Not a single ideal org has had any impact on anything anywhere.

 

Why do they keep showing the Engine Room staff of the Freewinds?

There are only about 20 positions available. TOTAL. And they are occupied mostly by lifers who have been there since 1988.

Is it?

How can you tell?

 

If this means “no pay”

It’s probably the first honest one they have had in their “Dark Streets of Sydney” series.

 

Go Karts for the future

What could be more appropriate? Maybe next year they will have “Push scooters for a Cleared planet.”

 

Michael Wisner is still going?

In the absence of Michael Chan, he’s the next best thing.

Hey, whatever happened to FASE and the scientific study on the Purif?

 

Money, money, money

The scientology mantra

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: events, fundraising, funnies, Sea Org

Comments

  1. madame duran (@madameduran) says

    September 3, 2018 at 5:11 pm

    “How To Sell A Lot In Life!”

    …starting with your soul.

    Reply
  2. Gus Cox says

    September 1, 2018 at 3:47 pm

    Clearing the planet lol. They can’t even clear the sea org!

    Reply
  3. Kimo says

    September 1, 2018 at 12:02 am

    I notice that the “Bringing Solutions” poster uses careful control of depth of field and Photoshop blur to eliminate any possibility of a single individual being positively identified. Good move, for once, since I’d bet money that not one person in that photograph would want to be associated even accidentally with Scientology.

    Reply
  4. jere Lull (38 years recovering) says

    August 31, 2018 at 1:09 pm

    WHO is David Pomeranz? A google twigged me in that I’d have only known of him had I been in the bubble while the CC PR flaks had been promoting him. Nothing attributed to him sounds familiar — or interesting while I’m not in scn. He’s had fairly consistent gigs through the years, so might have a decent show, but not good enough to try to get where he’s headlining in that ad. Somewhat O/T: Got a call a couple of hours ago from some girl at AOLA. Asked if I’d heard of the wonderful new alter-isses from Dwarfenführer. Said “Yes”, of course, and when she asked “How?” I had to say the interweb; mostly to yank her chain, see how she’d react. Didn’t caause her to lose her TRs, so she’s probably heard that a lot. She also didn’t react when I said I’d put flog in the rearview mirrors 38 years ago, August, 1980. Didn’t have a chance to gloat that my wife and I were lazing in bed just because we felt like it; it must have been 7:00 AM out there and she didn’t sound like she was perfectly rested: fairly comm-laggy even to my groggy state. Funny thing is that I shouldn’t be in AOLA’s CF; I’ve never bought anything from them, didn’t ever talk to a/o at AOLA except that call. She fairly quickly gave up as I refused her any reason to think I might be interested. She might have been a bit surprised that I remembered my clear# from 40 years ago. I suspect that info was on the computer screen she had up. Funny thing was she got my 1st name pretty right(which is ubusual), but hesitated on my last, which is a perfectly good English word. Sigh of the times in scn; calling contacts from Flog 40 years cold.

    ETA: Meant to write “sign of the times”, but “sigh” works, too.

    Reply
  5. KTBug (@KTBug2792) says

    August 31, 2018 at 12:14 pm

    For laughs and giggles, I tried the ‘boot camp’ website listed on the flyer.
    Funny……nothing there, it’s non-existent.

    Further investigation shows that the ” Communication Skills Bootcamp” is a course offered by Old Dominion University. Mmmm, the cherch of scientplagiarism?

    Reply
  6. jere Lull (38 years recovering) says

    August 31, 2018 at 12:11 pm

    Where will MY name be? Right here, calling their BS ; I’m just another J&D, doncha know.

    Reply
  7. jere Lull (38 years recovering) says

    August 31, 2018 at 12:07 pm

    As boater, that picture of Apollo fails the “yard test”: A paint job is ‘good enough’ if you don’t notice the flaws from a yard away. It’s apparent that they just rolled on the paint in a big square area, let it cure, then moved onto the next space. Had they “tipped the paint with a brush whie it was fluid, we wouldn’t see the stippling evident there, and kepping a wet edge would have blended in the adjacent splotches.. – – – and WHO paints a passenger ship BLACK? Just soaks up the heat, making temps belowdecks unbearable. might have been appropriate if they’d plied higher latitudes, not the tropics.

    Reply
  8. jere Lull (38 years recovering) says

    August 31, 2018 at 11:56 am

    “Off the crossroads of the world…. WTF does that MEAN, anyway? I’m a fairly well-read guy, used to deciphering what Internet posters MEANT to say in their (Well tossed) word salad, but all that says to me is that they’re out back and beyond, so far from civilization that the ‘middle of nowhere’ woould be “nowhere’s” big town, about where they’ve tried to put Walmarts, an easy drive to anyone out in the sticks, even if it’s an inconvenient distance from an actual city.

    Reply
  9. XenuOnMyBrainx75to03 says

    August 31, 2018 at 10:20 am

    Xenu and “body-thetans” I believe are the missing spices (salt, pepper, etc.) which Scientology promotion lacks and ought to have:

    “Hi, I’m your Registrar. Scientology salesperson, and you someday will pay-as-you-go-donate the required fees Scientology places on all of the step-ladder courses and quack soul-therapy we call auditing, and you someday when you get to OT 3, you learn ancient space leader Xenu showered earth with ‘body-thetans’ which are bodiless souls heavily implanted, and our human bodies are infested today with these ‘body-thetans’ and at the Advanced Orgs you learn to exorcise the ‘body-thetans’ off your body. We aren’t allowed to read the “Going Clear….” book because it tells that L. Ron Hubbard’s failed doing OT 7 Solo NOTs and he still had a few ‘body-thetans’ bugging him in the end of his life, and LRH felt he failed. Oh well. You too can fail, and most (all in fact) Scientologists fail, and you can too! Like LRH admitted, near the end of his life! You might just wish to read the final chapter of “Going Clear…” book, and I suggest you get the Kindle enhanced edition, since that has the sound track and filming of an important interview with Sarge Stephen Pfauth. Here, just watch this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20nvdIzZbd4
    If you want to quit Scientology, we let you quit fast, since that’s what it says in Keeping Scientology Working, our bible policy!”

    Reply
  10. WhatAreYourCrimes says

    August 31, 2018 at 1:04 am

    Natterers! All of you!

    NATTERERS!

    Hey Miscavige, how are the Thursday Stats today? We are SO clearing the planet, aren’t we… aren’t we?!?

    Reply
    • Ann Davis says

      August 31, 2018 at 2:00 pm

      “Natter” is my fave sciospeak word. I use it in my wog world all the time because it cracks me up. And I love to natter about scientology and Miscavige! Proudly a natterer! Lol

      Reply
      • WhatAreYourCrimes says

        September 2, 2018 at 6:32 am

        I love ya Ann… Natter on!

        Reply
        • Ann Davis says

          September 2, 2018 at 11:45 am

          What are your crimes you just made my day! No nattering about you today! ☺

          Reply
  11. Dave F. says

    August 31, 2018 at 12:34 am

    WOW, Cool . . . I need to get some of that “Jedi Training” . . . LOL !

    https://i0.wp.com/www.mikerindersblog.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/jedi.png

    Dave F.

    Reply
  12. mjwriter says

    August 30, 2018 at 8:25 pm

    I dream of Xenu with the ice cold stare
    Borne like a vapor, that caught us unaware
    I see him rounding up the DC-8’s
    Plotting like the devil to cart our souls away

    Many were the wild screams that issued from his mouth
    Many were the citizens that clustered all about
    Oh! I dream of Xenu with the ice cold stare
    Floating like a vapor, that caught us unaware

    Reply
    • Dave F. says

      August 31, 2018 at 9:16 am

      Mjwriter,

      Excellent lyrics . . .

      That song should be sung at Miscavige’s funeral . . . Oops, I meant “body-dropping announcement !

      LOL !

      Dave F.

      Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      August 31, 2018 at 1:18 pm

      🙂 🙂 MJ.

      Reply
  13. Kronomex says

    August 30, 2018 at 7:28 pm

    Auckland Reggeistrarr meant Golden Age of Retch II?

    Fortis Business Solutions has updated their cover photo on Farcebook-
    https://www.facebook.com/FortisBusinessSolutions/photos/br.Abq04kFLGA8q_2pum_0B8y4qPBY0Slf33JTUd1EHhO0SwzMRmSz1xgQzq6S_qucGbmZylt4da-RTo6-tz_e4H4GzWBrU3D7JXUkiCU8_blcnYc7zCa2CTYUbRMntvitEQzJO0eNa3EpO9DEcyiiVQ4YF3zKQO7eDcPGKFTIUVaeXnTtjtn6UVewSEn_xThHf2iM/303127506717072/?type=3

    “Hope he belts out “We Stand Tall” that is always a tear-jerker.” Bet he doesn’t if the Dwarfendorker is around.

    Selfless is the new name for Sheepbot.

    Reply
  14. IndieScientologyNews (@IndieScieNews) says

    August 30, 2018 at 6:48 pm

    Scientology gives 2018 Ebony Awakening Award to 2017 Scientology Freedom Medal Winner Nation of Islam Minister Tony Muhammad, who teaches:

    “America is #1 on God’s list to be destroyed”

    https://twitter.com/IndieScieNews/status/1035286987345981440

    /

    Reply
  15. peterblood71 says

    August 30, 2018 at 6:24 pm

    If $cientology were truly interested in broadly disseminating the linguistic and metaphysical folly of LRH then they are their own worst SP enemies by the act of pricing it out of reach or devastating personal finances. If clearing the planet truly their goal then all services should be free or at minimal cost and only then might it have spread (well until WTF OTIII reared it’s jaw slackening ugly Xemu head anyway) and made good on any altruistic notion. Obviously this is not the case and stands out like a sore thumb.

    Money-grubbing and Sea Org inhumane pod people realities are not befitting of an organization truly interested in trying to save the world. Just what is your priority Davey? Wealth or clearing the Earth?

    Taking down and avoiding this cult is way too easy so it’s a wonder anyone’s getting audited these days, except as a test of low intelligence and the Internet entheta impaired. Proving you can’t fix stupid.

    Reply
  16. Ryan Kelly says

    August 30, 2018 at 4:42 pm

    Michael Wisner earned duel degrees in English and Philosophy from Villanova University. Yet he supposedly published multiple scientific papers related to “Hubbard’s detoxification program.” He says that he did this in collaboration with the Foundation for Advancements in Science and Education (FASE). This is a Scientology front group. Per their own website, the research of this foundation is focused on Hubbard’s theories in Clear Body, Clear Mind – “Since 1981, FASE staff and associates have participated in studies relating to the detoxification program created by L. Ron Hubbard.” “FASE was established in 1981 with the explicit purpose to “research the efficacy of and promote the works of L. Ron Hubbard in the solving of social problems; and to scientifically research and provide public information and education concerning the efficacy of other programs”, according to incorporation papers filed with the Attorney General of California, in Sacramento. The papers were later amended to remove Hubbard’s name.” Ref. http://www.apologeticsindex.org/412-foundation-for-advancements-in-science-and-education-fase

    This is a Scientology front group and Michael Wisner is a fraud.

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      August 31, 2018 at 1:23 pm

      This is hilarious. The Church of Scientology setting up and funding an organization to do “research” on themselves and their impact on society.

      I mean, it isn’t like FASE is going to feel obligated to Co$, or anything like that, right?

      Their research is totally pure and independent of any bias – right?

      Too funny.

      Reply
    • jim says

      August 31, 2018 at 2:21 pm

      Ryan,

      In the late 1980’s, I queried two WISE consultants about the lack of published results from FASE. Turned out the results were disappointing, at least as regards what hubbard was asserting happens on the purif. That damn physical universe keeps getting in the way of hubbard’s illusions/delusions

      Reply
  17. I Yawnalot says

    August 30, 2018 at 4:41 pm

    Their fixation on money is as remarkably insane as ever I see. The tech of Status… truly incites a WTF! moment ever now and again.
    Looking at all those faces and uniforms on the flyers did resemble a pantomime of a puppet show imo. They are all on strings those people.

    Reply
  18. dwarmed says

    August 30, 2018 at 4:38 pm

    Performing live at a 25 year old event? How does that work?

    Reply
    • I Yawnalot says

      August 30, 2018 at 8:09 pm

      If you can’t answer that, Scientology is not for you.

      Reply
  19. jim says

    August 30, 2018 at 4:15 pm

    FWIW: A long-out friend in Southern California called me to ask if I had been getting 20 or so calls a day for the last week. He wondered what was up with their insistence he come in for XXXX, right now! I told him that IMO the up coming Aftermath #3 was getting the demented midget into franticnessing and panicnessing. And that the dwarf is probably firing off CI’s by the hundreds hourly, as if they would somehow blunt the onslaught of Aftermath #3.

    Reply
  20. Corner Cottage says

    August 30, 2018 at 2:43 pm

    Today’s flyer selections loudly proclaim: We want YOU…(if you’re Caucasian). Only the back and arm of one black person shown anywhere. Even the make believe people in the Jedi Training sketch are all white.

    [But we also want you if you’re in NOI and detest whites, especially Jews.]

    Scientology: consistently inconsistent.

    Reply
  21. Old Surfer Dude says

    August 30, 2018 at 2:24 pm

    Unless you have a strong purpose
    (At first I thought it was a strong porpoise. Too bad. I would have like to pet the porpoise.)

    Unless you love Hubbard management tech (you can kiss your ass good-bye)

    (There is no so called ‘tech.’ It was written by a mad man.)

    Unless you have a spirited approach to life.

    (Here we go again with the spirit thing. Listen bub! My BTs keep me up all night!)

    Have your eye high on the bridge

    (Did they say ‘high?. What? Really? Damn.)

    Need to make some serious $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

    (Well you won’t find that in Scientology. In fact, your life will eventually fall into a shit hole)

    Can think smarter than this ad.

    (This is a trick question, right? Umm…right? You mean that’s the ad?)

    Are you a super Hero we are looking for?

    (Yeah, I got your Supers Powers right here, bucko, lowering hand.)

    Reply
    • I Yawnalot says

      August 30, 2018 at 8:18 pm

      WOW Dude, double spacing – not holding back are ya!

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        August 31, 2018 at 11:54 am

        Double Spacing is ny middle name.

        Reply
    • whatareyourcrimes says

      August 31, 2018 at 12:57 am

      All I saw when I looked at that soulless promo piece were the words “FUCK YOU” written along the left side of the page, at a cursory glance.

      I guess Miscavige and his horned minions circling the drain are not even aware that they are subliminally revealing true thoughts and intentions in such absurd recruitment failures.

      It is always shit in scientology, but imagine the hellish pressure the remaining koolade drinkers must be suffering in these end days?

      Reply
  22. Ms. B, Haven says

    August 30, 2018 at 2:23 pm

    Well those Advanced Clinical Courses certainly do sound lofty and intriguing!!! Way over my head though, I have MUs just reading the promo. I’m sure that I’m not the only one to be suffering from such ignorance and we can all be certain that some Fool will show up here in a couple of days (still out of ‘Present Time’) to offer his M-7 or M-9 word clearing services so that we too can think laterally with Hubbard’s soul saving utterances.

    The best I could do with my own lateral thinking was to see through the bullshit and know that I am not *afraid*, but as a result of scientology standard tech I am in fact *a frayed* person instead. Frayed and unraveled, bent but not broken and have put things back together VERY nicely since departing from the mind fucking I got as a Kool-Aid swilling, KSW cultie.

    For all of you fence sitters, sideliners, doubters, under-the-radar, OSA net nannies (hi FP), etc. No need to be afraid. The way out is through the nearest exit (just past the course room, HGC waiting area, ethics officer and reg). Once outside with an unshackled mind it is absolutely amazing how good life can be.

    Reply
    • Foolproof says

      August 31, 2018 at 4:44 pm

      Haha! Still dramatizing your 2nd Phenomenon! If it gets any worse you’ll turn into a (real) critic!

      Reply
      • Alcoboy says

        September 6, 2018 at 12:54 am

        Hey, everybody! He’s BAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!

        Reply
  23. SadStateofAffairs says

    August 30, 2018 at 2:14 pm

    Erik Bayersdorfer – a third-partying, dishonest weasel. Perfect for WISE CW.

    Reply
  24. SadStateofAffairs says

    August 30, 2018 at 2:13 pm

    Erik Bayersdorfer – if ever there was a dishonest, third-partying weasel, it’s him. So, no surprise he is WISE’s little darling.

    Reply
    • whatareyourcrimes says

      August 31, 2018 at 12:58 am

      He looks like he wants to offer you undercoating on your ride up the bridge to nowhere.

      Reply
  25. Corner Cottage says

    August 30, 2018 at 2:11 pm

    No bronze plaque for Columbus Honor Roll of Donors. It has to be paper to be easily changed when donors blow or get declared. So permanent (NOT).

    Reply
  26. MarcAnon says

    August 30, 2018 at 2:02 pm

    Also, does Michael Wisner wear a ridiculous looking rug, or does he have a haircut so silly it only LOOKS like a rug?

    Reply
    • whatareyourcrimes says

      August 31, 2018 at 12:59 am

      That is the hair of a supreme being. What all scientologists aim for.

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        August 31, 2018 at 1:34 pm

        LOL, wayc! Yes, all supreme beings are required to have that proudly fake, yellow hair!

        Reply
  27. MarcAnon says

    August 30, 2018 at 2:00 pm

    “This is the woof and warp of association.”

    This stuff sounds so funny on the outside. LOL

    Reply
    • whatareyourcrimes says

      August 31, 2018 at 1:00 am

      I duplicate you.

      Ending comm.

      Reply
  28. SILVIA says

    August 30, 2018 at 1:51 pm

    Per the LRH quote: “A man is never afraid”.

    Well, lets ask the people that were held for hours after an event and he/she was not let go unless he donated some money. Now is afraid of events.

    Or when you dared to voice that something was wrong with RTC running the Orgs and were later on Sec Checked to dead and your partner was asked to disconnect from you due to your disaffection. Well, like any authoritarian cult, you are now afraid to even speak with your husband about the Scn abuses.

    Or when your stat adversely affected RTC’s main statistic and you were sent to wash dishes. Well, you may be afraid of of not auditing those extra 5 minutes to get the stat up.

    One is afraid when confronted with injustices, the denial to speak tour mind, your opinion of how things really are inside Scn.

    That is why many of us left and are speaking up; because we are not afraid.

    Reply
    • Peggy L says

      August 30, 2018 at 3:55 pm

      Well, I will have to double check, but I think in Enochian the word afraid translates to “LRH has shit for brains and you need to “fear” following him”. But I will double check.

      Reply
    • I Yawnalot says

      August 30, 2018 at 8:35 pm

      ‘A man is not afraid’ hey?
      Well… I guess that accounts for my failure at Scientology. I’m not man enough! I’ve been scared shitless more times than I care to remember.

      Reply
    • ctempster says

      August 31, 2018 at 10:29 pm

      Silvia, I admire your bravery to speak out. And I admire everyone here who has spoken out. I remember being so shocked by Silvia’s coming out story on Marty’s site. She really gave us a glimpse into the out ethics going on in the tech division at Flag. When we would see the folder page bringing whole cart fulls of one pc’s folders, I always thought they were checking for an EP or checking for Clear or checking for OT VII completion. BUT turns out they were combing through already picked bones looking for more hours to report for Well Done Auditing Hours. And there was even more shocking stuff in her writeup which I can’t remember at the moment. But the point is, it took cajones to leave, Silvia, and although you’re a woman, you have them in spades and I admire you for it.

      Reply
  29. PickAnotherID says

    August 30, 2018 at 1:26 pm

    Someone’s Thursday stats got shot to pieces…

    A Scientology Kiosk Was Installed (Then Removed) from a Hollywood Police Station
    http://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2018/08/29/a-scientology-kiosk-was-installed-then-removed-from-a-hollywood-police-station/

    It’d be funny, except it’s not. Way past time for an outside, and independent, investigation into the LAPD’s links with $cientology.

    Reply
  30. N. Graham says

    August 30, 2018 at 1:15 pm

    “n England and Wales 390,127 people (almost 0.8%) stated their religion as Jedi on their 2001 Census forms” (Wikipedia) I think that the group in Clearwater promoting “Jedi Training for Life and Sales” is trying to lure some of those Jedis over since the Jedis are obviously doing way better than they are.

    I googled Michael Wisner and just found a pottery guy. I went to Amazon and tried again. Nada.
    Added the word Scientology: Bingo! Found a bunch of reports on Scientology sites about getting rid of toxic chemicals left over from drug use through sauna and other junk medicine.

    Reply
    • PeaceMaker says

      August 30, 2018 at 9:13 pm

      Good catch, I’d forgotten to point out in my earlier comment that Scientology should be careful about bringing attention to the Jedi, who are making a mockery of them, symbolically as well as numerically. It’s a growing phenomenon around the world – as Scientology actually shrinks:

      Jedi census phenomenon
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi_census_phenomenon

      “In 2007, the Temple of the Jedi Order was registered in Texas. However IRS tax exemption wasn’t granted until 2015….
      In 2007, 23-year-old Daniel Jones founded The Church of Jediism with his brother Barney, believing that the 2001 UK census recognised Jediism as a religion, and that there were “more Jedi than Scientologists in Britain”.”
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jediism

      ‘Jedi’ religion most popular alternative faith
      “Today’s Census figures show that 176,632 people in England and Wales identify themselves as Jedi Knights, making it the most popular faith in the “Other Religions” category on the Census and the seventh most popular faith overall.”
      https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/religion/9737886/Jedi-religion-most-popular-alternative-faith.html

      Reply
    • whatareyourcrimes says

      August 31, 2018 at 1:03 am

      I always appreciate my photo with the old man himself. It shows I am not making up my OT tomato status.
      The six month visits to Flag are murder on my walking green vines in that hot Florida sun.

      Reply
  31. mjwriter says

    August 30, 2018 at 12:52 pm

    The Secret of Success Redux:

    “The only lasting overt that can be done with Scientology is to fail to expose it for what it truly is to as many people as possible.”

    And even that’s not an overt. You can simply just ignore it with no ill effects, despite the assertions of Mr. 1984, L. Ron Hubbard.

    Reply
  32. PeaceMaker says

    August 30, 2018 at 12:50 pm

    It’s interesting to see the way they throw out figures like “2.3 million” as if they were somehow meaningful and relevant, when Scientology’ is actually shrinking and has an ever-diminished public reputation – here they’re not even claiming anything nebulous like “reached” that might be tied to online ad “impressions” or something. Come to think of it, though, that figure is around some of Aftermath’s peak viewership numbers….

    Detroit is going to be “tough” alright because the new “ideal” org is back downtown where it apparently didn’t do well before, half an hour’s drive from a suburban location that is probably much more convenient for their remaining members, and where parking is $10 a night rather than free. And that “newest staff member” is another who looks like he could be retirement age.

    It’s also interesting to see the quote in the “Secrets to Success” flyer that, like some others that have been used recently, has Hubbard making a point by criticizing past management practices. I thought that they used to only use quotes with a completely positive spin, so it’s surprising to see these little bits of implicit criticism slipping in.

    Reply
  33. Valerie says

    August 30, 2018 at 12:47 pm

    Move up in status. Sad. Just sad. They have lost all clue as to what the original scam even was. Oh, wait, that’s a good thing I guess. Maybe things will fall apart faster. How can you possibly clear Earth when you’re spending your money moving up in status? Clang clang clang. The cognitive dissonance just in those flyers alone is deafening.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      August 30, 2018 at 2:31 pm

      Cognitive Dissonance: Definaty a grunge band.

      Reply
      • I Yawnalot says

        August 30, 2018 at 8:41 pm

        I thought it was the result of trying to mix red and green.

        Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      August 30, 2018 at 3:49 pm

      “How can you possibly clear Earth when you’re spending your money moving up in status?”

      Good question, Valerie, and one that I asked a number of times before I left.

      Not one staff member could or would ever answer it.

      Shrugs, changes of subject, blank stares. Offers to let me read the latest “Command Inteition” orders. Asking why I was “nattering” about Ideal Org fundraising, and inferring, none too subtly, that I had overts.

      And, oh, last but not least, going right for my jugular by offering to “false data strip” and word clear me on my MUs about why “Build It And They Will Come” was THE way to Clear The Planet” !

      Amazing. To each of these EXCEPT the accusation of MUs I would look them in the eye, smile and say, “Got it!” That these communication “experts” were not answering my question was plain as day,, so why argue? Why waste the energy, you know?

      It was only MU accusation would irritate me in that, as well they knew, I was a word clearing FREAK. So this would get under my skin. I did my best to treat it like the bullbait that it was, and reply, “Yes, sure, I’ll look it over and see if there are any words in this policy I’m quoting to you that I don’t fully understand”. But i knew, and they knew that they were merely using tech as an excuse to deflect from having to answer.

      More than anything, it was this last unsuccessful stratagem of theirs that caused me to lose respect for them, to doubt them, and, after many years of not questioning what they told me, to mistrust them.

      Good people, basically. But they took a wrong turn and began lying to me and lying to themselves.

      Reply
      • mjwriter says

        August 30, 2018 at 6:59 pm

        I infer from your comment that you’re no longer an active Scientologist going up The Bridge to Total Fakedom. ?

        Reply
        • Aquamarine says

          August 31, 2018 at 1:46 pm

          Your inference would be correct, mjw 🙂

          Seriously, though; for me, the toughest part of leaving was, and has been, dealing with the mistrust the staff created in me, by lying right to my face. To this day, I still have not made up my mind if they are/were basically good, honest people who went bad, or, if all along they were deceivers and liars, and I missed it, just didn’t see it. Strange.

          Reply
          • MJ says

            August 31, 2018 at 5:32 pm

            If i were in your shoes I wouldn’t worry about that, and instead do something more productive, like having a few beers and contemplating the implosion of the Super Power building and an out of control brush fire next to the Int Base with all the staff escaping while the buildings burn to the ground and Dave’s bikes and cars and the rest of his precious MEST go up in flames. Hip, hip, hooray!!!

            Reply
            • Aquamarine says

              September 1, 2018 at 12:26 am

              Or the most productive of all, Mj; laughing at your jokes and parodies 🙂

              Reply
              • MJ says

                September 1, 2018 at 2:35 am

                ?

  34. kengullette says

    August 30, 2018 at 12:46 pm

    “Fear of fear is your primary setup. A man is afraid of being afraid. He is not afraid.”

    I’m afraid I don’t know what the hell he is talking about.

    Reply
  35. Badafuco says

    August 30, 2018 at 12:29 pm

    FASE is/was a Scientology front?? Wow, my dad couldn’t even be truthful about that. He worked for FASE for about 10 years. I asked him a few times what the company was and what he did. Not once did he mention it was a scientology business.

    And who would I talk to about protesting the org here in Ventura. Those buildings have been an eyesore for years. Such a ridiculous spot.

    Reply
    • PeaceMaker says

      August 30, 2018 at 2:05 pm

      Sorry to hear that you had to live with such deception. FASE is a Scientology front group:

      “Foundation for Advancements in Science and Education (FASE)”
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientology_front_groups

      Scientology group reaches kids through PBS videos
      “All the top executives at FASE are Scientologists and some are former members of the Church of Scientology’s notorious Guardian’s Office”
      http://www.lermanet.com/scientologynews/boston-herald-FASE-030598.htm

      It could be a while before the Scientology org moves the Santa Barbara org into the ugly brutalist office park building that they bought. I’m guessing that the few remaining folks in SB aren’t too excited about moving from their classic mission-style building downtown, to that monstrosity half an hour’s drive down the highway. The Ventura (Buenaventura) mission looks to be hanging on in some light industrial space that is probably actually the location of the mission holder’s business where they probably have some token space, and that will probably get folded into the org when it moves.

      Reply
    • I Yawnalot says

      August 30, 2018 at 5:20 pm

      There you go. Another example of “hiding.” Scientology application ensures you’ll endeavor to hide the fact you are involved. Didn’t Judas do something sort of similar?

      Reply
  36. Rick D says

    August 30, 2018 at 12:25 pm

    Steve Fagan was Carly Crutchfield’s mentor, and he owned Princeton Development Group. Steve was shut down again in 2015 by the ACC with a company called Inspiration Homes,..the company folded and he owed 1.8 million to suppliers, keeps running the same scam… over inflates his experience claims hes build projects worth Millions ,suckers investors to foot the bill, and doesn’t develop any projects, folds… rinse and repeat…

    Reply
    • Hutcho says

      August 30, 2018 at 4:32 pm

      Along with Len Collen and Caroline Collen (former IAS freedom medal winner)

      Reply
    • Hutcho says

      August 30, 2018 at 4:34 pm

      Along with Len Colleen & Caroline Collen (former IAS freedom medal winner)

      Reply
  37. Valboski says

    August 30, 2018 at 12:23 pm

    “How To Sell a Lot in Life” — Put an ad in the paper/online or list it with a realtor. Give the location and Lot dimensions. Price it below market value. That will be $500, please.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      August 30, 2018 at 2:34 pm

      Oh! That’s a bargain? Will you take a check?

      Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      August 30, 2018 at 3:50 pm

      LOL! Thanks, Valboski!

      Reply
    • I Yawnalot says

      August 30, 2018 at 8:16 pm

      Just out of interest, does that lot have Brooklyn Bridge on it?

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        August 31, 2018 at 11:58 am

        I thought Brooklyn Bridge was falling down!

        Reply
        • I Yawnalot says

          August 31, 2018 at 1:44 pm

          Yeah… but it’s cheap. You interested?

          Reply
  38. Todd Wiens says

    August 30, 2018 at 12:22 pm

    Nice wig Michael Wisener.

    Reply
    • Valerie says

      August 30, 2018 at 12:44 pm

      I was mesmerized by it. I was thinking of taking a photo into my hairdresser and asking him for a throwback haircut like it. Bwa ha ha ha ha.

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        August 30, 2018 at 2:35 pm

        I say go for it!

        Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        August 30, 2018 at 3:52 pm

        A wig or just a bad dye job?

        Reply
        • Old Surfer Dude says

          August 30, 2018 at 7:19 pm

          Bad dye job. It’ll make you look tough.

          Reply
    • Contemptuous of Scientology says

      August 30, 2018 at 12:59 pm

      I immediately thought that was actor Owen Wilson masquerading as Michael Wisner, but realized Owen would only attempt to look that ridiculous if he were going to a horror Halloween party.

      Reply
      • Peggy L says

        August 30, 2018 at 3:30 pm

        Oh my gosh – my thought was holy cow dude, who the heck does your hair??!! Who doesn’t like you that much? Really? Mid-life crisis much?

        Reply
        • Aquamarine says

          August 31, 2018 at 2:22 pm

          Mostly off topic semi-rant alert:

          What kills me is, if you’re a MAN and originally had dark hair, and now your dark hair is all grey or going grey and you want to color it, why not color it a shade close to your original shade, or maybe a bit lighter?

          Why would a man whose hair was originally some shade of brown color his greying hair an obviously fake shade of yellow blond?

          I DO understand why so many women of all ages go blonde. This is because blonde hair has long been set up as THE standard for female beauty in this country. So, I get that. I don’t agree and think its silly but never mind, I get it.

          But MEN going blond in advanced middle age? What’s THAT all about?

          Miscavige with his pale blond pompadour. This Wisner guy stuck in the 80s with his yellow feathers. And don’t even get me started on Donald Trump, having had a dark haired nest for 30 years, now in his 70s with a shining gold nest.

          This is just me but I think grey hair is handsome on a man, and if his hair thins out as he ages, so what? Hair is not what makes a man attractive, IMO. But that’s just me.

          End of rant. Any insight received as regards these vital question will be appreciated 🙂

          Reply
          • Peggy L says

            August 31, 2018 at 5:50 pm

            I got nothin’ Aquamarine 🙂 Maybe he lost a bet?

            Reply
          • ctempster says

            August 31, 2018 at 10:20 pm

            Aquamarine, I agree with what you said re hair. But even worse than an old man dying his hair blonde is wearing such a bad rug like he is. Not only is it a bad rug, but it’s blonde to boot and that is so NOT becoming on him.

            Reply
    • Nan.B says

      August 30, 2018 at 2:27 pm

      Nice porn stache too..shouldn’t they match ?

      Reply
  39. Jenyfurrr says

    August 30, 2018 at 12:16 pm

    The best part of today’s Thursday Funnies are the promos announcing “I am _______, your registrar.” Now everyone knows exactly who to duck and dodge at events if they hope to hold onto their wallets at events!

    Second best is how they incorporate so many LRH quotes on how unimportant holding onto “MEST” like buildings and other “things” because moving up the bridge is the most important. Don’t most people see the irony in that appearing on promos asking for more money for more “stuff”?

    Of course that’s a rhetorical question, as most are merely trying to hold onto their families… but still… Keep hoping for another Debbie Cook or Luis Garcia-type letter to occur in response to this ridiculousness!

    Reply
  40. Rick Pyle says

    August 30, 2018 at 11:56 am

    “Fear of fear is your primary setup. A man is afraid of being afraid. He is not afraid” LRH

    “We have nothing to fear, but fear itself!” FDR

    Given the choice, I’ll quote the Wog President.

    Reply
    • Cre8tivewmn says

      August 30, 2018 at 1:50 pm

      So the woman on tv last night who said “when the python bit me, I was afraid I would die!” was really only worried about her reputation? Such BS he spouted!

      Reply
  41. Idle Morgue says

    August 30, 2018 at 11:55 am

    “THIS IS NOT YOU” ….if you have the ability to confront the truth about Scientology, L Ron Hubbard, the lies and the current dictator David Miscavige”…

    “THIS IS NOT YOU” …if you can LOOK and observe the truth

    Reply
  42. Idle Morgue says

    August 30, 2018 at 11:54 am

    “THIS IS NOT YOU”…..if you “know and are willing to talk about it!

    “THIS IS NOT YOU” …. if you can see through the smoke and mirrors Scientology puts on

    “THIS IS NOT YOU”….if you decide that your family is more important than a fake and phony religion that harms people

    “THIS IS NOT YOU”….if you believe that having a savings account is important for your future

    Reply
    • Cre8tivewmn says

      August 30, 2018 at 1:56 pm

      This is not for you, blah blah blah.

      If you still think this is for you….. stupid writing. Oh, and the design…blah!

      Reply
  43. Moop says

    August 30, 2018 at 11:51 am

    Silicon Valley – I think your graphs are inverted.

    Reply
  44. Lois Reisdorf (Lowie) says

    August 30, 2018 at 11:51 am

    The ideal Africa poster features my nephew and niece………Luke and Sabrina Knodl………..soooo sad……..

    Reply
    • Gflded Kim says

      August 30, 2018 at 2:00 pm

      Oh Lois…they are stunning, young adults. So, so heartbreaking ?

      Reply
    • Briget says

      August 30, 2018 at 6:10 pm

      Oh, Lois. So very sorry. *sends cyber hug*

      Reply
      • Lois Reisdorf (Lowie) says

        August 30, 2018 at 6:22 pm

        Thanks. It is very sad. Sabrina is 18 and Luke is 22. Miss them terribly. And yes they are really gorgeous kids……….

        Reply
        • Ann Davis says

          August 30, 2018 at 6:57 pm

          I’m so sorry Lois! Here’s hoping they will soon seen that its a total scam.

          Reply

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