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Thursday Funnies

September 8, 2022 By Mike Rinder 12 Comments

 

The effects from our recent event?

An AO creaming their jeans about being able to deliver the Purif and Objectives? Now THAT’S expansion!

 

The Advanced Org nobody needed…

They’re so focused on getting anyone in for anything because there are no public moving up the Bridge they might as well call themselves the “Continental Org” and close every other org down and they still wouldn’t come close to using all their space.

 

What about locals NOT on service?

They would NEVER turn anyone away if they could pay….

And they have an IAS card and clearance from security and OSA.

 

This is what “Auditor’s Day” has been reduced to

 

Their Auditor’s Day “Gala” has a “Roaring 20’s” theme…

Why?

Wonder if they realize auditors only became a thing in the 50’s?

 

No dilettantes here

It’s not bowling…

 

Chicago Ideal Org “Opening” is “imminent”…

Meaning it might be in a year?

Rube Goldberg look out…

 

Isn’t this something to be excited about?

They still aren’t making Clears and Classed Auditors….

 

Still gearing up…

Someone missed out on “the pose”….

 

It’s a struggle to pay for the Bridge….

Even for a dentist, one of the top income earning professions.

 

Wow, let’s give ourselves a hand

 

Kiddie Corner

Yes, sadly, every week….

 

 

 

What’s with the hats? 

They couldn’t find one that fit him?

 

Wow, even the non-orgs were shut down

Just like the orgs…

 

A LOT of vacancies

For a tiny facility….

 

“Complimentary”??

OMG are they desperate or what?

Forget the free convention — they’re giving free MEALS! And 7 days of quarantine.

Unheard of.

But the reg to passenger ratio is probably 3 to 1 so nobody will escape there with anything left.

 

South Africa’s role?

Absolutely zero. They can’t even get their orgs ideal in S. Africa. Let alone Zimbabwe. And they have NEVER opened another org in the entire continent of Africa.

Delusion.

 

Some more advice for Captain Miscavige…

 

Another “AO” pushing the Purif and Objectives

Why?

Because it’s “Command Intention” and “everyone else is doing it.”

 

Spot the Outpoint

“Added inapplicable” old people. Surely a booth at a University campus should have some young people manning it?

 

They had someone complete a Grade!

That is seriously big news eh?

 

The Serial Husband?

WTF?

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: AOSH Africa, AOSHANZO, Auditor's Day, Brisbane Org, Colleen May, Columbus Org, Dublin Org, Freewinds, Mace Kingsley, Mary Ellen Elliot, Narconon Ojai, Shawn May, USF, valley org, Vancouver org

Comments

  1. Jens TINGLEFF says

    September 9, 2022 at 4:18 am

    So, no IAS event at Stain Hell?

    Good.

    Reply
  2. gorillavee says

    September 8, 2022 at 4:51 pm

    First, I LOVE that advice for CaPtAiN Miscavige. But let’s remember, he’s involved in a deadly serious activity. Our next trillions of years depend on it. Or something.

    But that’s yet another example of Scientology duplicity – yes, lighten up, until you’re IN. Then, if you’re just a tad too “light” it’s off to the comm ev for you, you C-S-ing joker and degrader!

    Reply
    • safetyguy says

      September 9, 2022 at 8:15 am

      I have never me the guy and really don’t want to. However, I have read a lot about him. I will say this, During my time in the military I met quite a few people who held the rank of Captain. This dork wouldn’t make a pimple on the …….. never mind, you get the idea.

      Reply
  3. safetyguy says

    September 8, 2022 at 4:24 pm

    GAME NIGHT!!!

    Let’s play……

    1st game, HIDE YOUR money. We will hide it and then see if you can find it! Bet you can’t.
    2nd game RUIN YOUR LIFE. You be we can’t and we bet we can. See who wins!!!!!!!

    Reply
  4. Todd Cray says

    September 8, 2022 at 3:46 pm

    The ad for Narconon jobs is telling. For starters, they are not looking for degrees, certificates, professional experience, a track record or any of the things legitimate employers would. They are content to consider candidates that “are knowledgable in” a variety of fields. So pull up a few youtube videos on prefessions that sound intriguing, and off to your narconon job you go.

    It’s even more curious that they list 12 different general professional areas where they wish to hire. Out of these, a whopping ten have absolutely nothing to do with providing services to addicts and their families. “Interventions” are generally considered a valid service. However, in this case this serves as a funnel to a specific “treatment” facility. As it stands, it is nothing but a high-pressure sales job that will only “intervene” between desperate customers and their bank accounts.

    The only token recovery services job that narconon is even interested in hiring for is in “detoxification.” And that is frightening! Detoxification requires legitimate medical skills for preparation of an appropriate regimen, its administration and its monitoring. This is the phase of recovery where lives are at stake. Which is why there are three words that no serious detox expert would ever utter: Niacin, sauna and LRH.

    Reply
  5. Todd Cray says

    September 8, 2022 at 2:34 pm

    The Narconon ad is telling. They’re crowing about transforming people “suddenly” into “happy, healthy members of society.” This claim has all the sincerety and belieavability of a weight loss miracle or get-rich-quick fraud. Legitimate therapists will consider a person’s sobriety stable after about 5 years of “one day at a time.” And that’s not even the most of it: Drug addiction results in a bewildering maze of related problems: professional, family, marriage, reputational, legal and health. (It’s a lot like CoS membership in that respect). Absolutely, NONE of this is resolved “suddenly.” And many addicts have to moderate their expectations of “happy and healthy”, let alone full acceptance into society, in order to function as well as they can and not return straight to their addictions.

    With claims such as this one as well as recovery rates that they pull straight out of their you-know-where, is it any wonder that Narconon enjoys about as much respect among recovery professionals as scientology gets among late-night talk show hosts.

    Reply
    • otherles says

      September 8, 2022 at 3:13 pm

      If it’s too good to be true, it probably is.

      Reply
  6. I Yawnalot says

    September 8, 2022 at 1:45 pm

    Kiddies Corner always produces the toughest ‘wave of uneasiness.’ It’s a devastating kind of recognition of evil in waiting.

    Reply
  7. otherles says

    September 8, 2022 at 9:49 am

    Sometimes, the only way to win is not to play.

    Reply
    • I Yawnalot says

      September 8, 2022 at 1:36 pm

      Negative gain. There’s more to gained by never going near a Scientologist.

      Reply
  8. PickAnotherID says

    September 8, 2022 at 8:35 am

    Related to yesterday’s story, just noticed the eBook and Audio Book of “A Billion Years” is available for preorder on Kobo.com for those who prefer not being locked into a Nook or Kindle eReader.

    Reply
  9. Ammo Alamo says

    September 8, 2022 at 8:32 am

    Central Ohio – has the nerve to show six pairs of people in very casual attire sitting knee-to-knee, just staring at each other, with the Gestapo-Minder keeping overwatch for the slightest flub.

    BTW, each trio is also hip-to-hip with those next to them – is that a Scientology emulation of Cattle Class in a cheap airline? Come on. Give ’em a little space, fer cryin’ out loud. They paid enough for it.

    Also, could you please put more padding on those cheap chairs?
    They’re going to be there the rest of the day trying not to goof.

    Scientology – always a pain in the posterior.

    Reply

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