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The Scientology Staff Recruitment Pitch

April 3, 2018 By Mike Rinder 121 Comments

Despite what they tell themselves about their expansion, this was found on “MeetUp” and I thought it fascinating.

Scientology is back to trying to recruit “wogs”.

Melbourne presents itself as one of the more successful “ideal” orgs — and yet they apparently don’t have a flow of new people to sign up for staff to deal with the inevitable attrition of those who leave because they cannot take the hours/insane demands or cannot survive on “staff pay”, or both.

Note the typically terrible spelling and grammar.

And how they carefully call this “volunteering” and are given a “stipend allowance.” I bet this is pulling them in in droves!

 

 

It goes on:

 

You can “apply” to volunteer at the world’s most notorious cult. They must be hoping to snare some people who don’t really understand english (perhaps their tortured syntax and inability to spell is a secret message to the english as a second language community?) and don’t have a computer.

Lots of luck with that plan.

Just another indicator that all is now hunky dory and peachy keen in the “massively expanding” world of scientology ideal orgs.

And by the way, how come Melbourne isn’t St Hill size yet? It’s been “ideal” now for more than 7 years!

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Filed Under: Idle Orgs Tagged With: Ideal Orgs, Melbourne, staff pay, Staff recruitment

Comments

  1. Felicity Prentice says

    April 4, 2018 at 9:33 pm

    As a Melbourne girl I can assure you that Scion here is idle. The premises are gorgeous (a converted convent), but on a busy traffic road which deters ‘drop in’ visitors. On my visit I was given an extensive tour which revealed only three actual punters in the huge building. However, when Tony Ortega did his book tour here a few years ago, it was a packed standing room only crowd. So there IS an interest in Scientology, but not the way they would like it.

    Reply
  2. Peter says

    April 4, 2018 at 8:19 am

    One of the better comments today. LOL

    Reply
  3. Aquamarine says

    April 4, 2018 at 2:38 am

    Its crazy. Supposedly there’s a job shortage. Lots of people out of work, wanting, needing a job. Well, If they ran the orgs like the businesses they really are, paid a living wage and gave people normal work hours, in shifts if necessary, why they’d be flooded with applicants and could pick the best, the brightest, the caring-est, the most dedicated, etc. etc. There could be a training period with minimum wage pay which would also give the org an opportunity to vet the person as to character and mental and emotional fitness too. But they’ll never do this because, well – I don’t know, actually! Why WON’T they do this, if its so damned important to Clear The Planet? Miscavige has no problem altering tech and admin – THAT can’t be the reason!

    Reply
    • Wynski says

      April 4, 2018 at 8:29 am

      Aqua, you DO really know why they will not do that. (you just are not connecting the two data points)

      They CANNOT. Because there has NEVER been enough paying customers to support a living wage at an org. Even during the highest highs of the 70’s.

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        April 4, 2018 at 5:29 pm

        You’re 100% right, Wyn, I DO know that. What I had in mind but didn’t include in my comment was the orgs being subsidized by Int Mgmt, which has BILLIONS.

        In other words, I was thinking with Co$ jettisoning the “each org for itself” business model and adopting instead the support system used by the Roman Catholic Church, and possibly a number of other religious organizations wherein the individual churches don’t have to completely rely on their own income (donations) but are instead supported in full or in part by the “Mother” Church or the organizations’ headquarters.

        After all, in Scientology, all money flows UPWARD. If the powers that be were SERIOUS about expansion, would it make ANY sense to have ALL of the money that comes in to headquarters REMAIN there? ( A stuck flow, in Scientologese?)

        Honestly, call it what you like, but this is a recipe for failure in ANY business or organization attempting expansion, i.e., .all the money that goes to headquarters STAYS there? Headquarters is rolling in dough and the orgs, the “factories” charged with producing auditors and Clears, are impoverished? Seriously, its nuts.

        Of course, to change this business model would be “out admin” per Hubbard, but you know, if it were THAT important, wouldn’t they do it? Wouldn’t Co$ AT LEAST subsidize making AUDITORS? LRH did write somewhere that “purpose is senior to policy”.

        And, last but not least, all of these arguments are predicated on the completely false premise that David Miscavige actually WANTS Scientology to expand, is actually sincere and honest and not an utterly devious, soul-less and amoral criminal.

        So the nitty gritty is what I ALWAYS struggle to understand, to wit:

        I know all of the above, you know all of the above , WE ALL DO, and yet again it comes down to the mind-blowing-to-me question of how the Still Ins don’t, or can’t figure this out, just as we have. NONE of this is complicated!

        Aaaaahhhhh!!!! (Me face-palming.)

        Reply
  4. Cousin says

    April 4, 2018 at 12:22 am

    Hilarious. To be a fly on the wall of that meetup.

    Reply
  5. whatareyourcrimes says

    April 3, 2018 at 10:57 pm

    Hey, Mike, why criticize all those special needs humans in the cult. If they want to live in fantasyland, all power to them. As long as they aren’t hurting anybody… oh yeah, wait a sec.

    Reply
  6. MJM says

    April 3, 2018 at 8:28 pm

    Impossible hours, low or no pay and being screamed at by seniors. What’s not to like?

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      April 4, 2018 at 1:59 am

      🙂

      Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      April 4, 2018 at 4:42 am

      MJM.

      I’m fine with the impossible hours, and the no pay/low pay sure sounds good, but frankly, its the “getting screamed at by my seniors” part that has me worried

      In brief, will these face-rippings rarely occur, or will they happen on a frequent and regular basis?.

      Before signing anything I need assurance that being screamed at by my seniors will not manifest as mere isolated instances but instead be the type of abuse upon which I absolutely depend.

      Thanks!

      Reply
    • Peter says

      April 4, 2018 at 7:39 am

      They actually begin their bad English in the title line: “Each (singular) Ideal Org represents 10X expansion across their (plural) zone.” Clearly one more example of the lack of education across staff. That no proof reader catches these regular errors in their “prose” is a further tell all of the unprofessionalism rampant across the board on scio staffing. And the fact that Davey Dinkum hasn’t cared enough to order a solution is one more indication of *his* lack of education.

      Reply
  7. Cat Daddy says

    April 3, 2018 at 7:31 pm

    If you feel bad about something it probably is bad

    I myself just like to play a friendly card game with my mates or friends

    Reply
  8. Aquamarine says

    April 3, 2018 at 7:29 pm

    Staff – ahhhh!

    T’was the bane of my cult existence, being reg’ed for staff.

    Never knew when I’d be hit with a surprise staff reg cycle. Got VERY wary after a while!

    Any staff who all of a sudden needed to “get in comm” with me.

    “In comm” was almost always a dog whistle for a staff recruitment cycle. Even if it wasn’t, it was NEVER good news.

    To continue:

    Theoretically, there was (and is) just ONE PPO which is short for “Personnel Procurement Officer”

    Theoretically, it is only ONE Scientology staff member’s job to hire staff.

    Theoretically.

    But in my org, it didn’t quite work that way! They had their OWN system. To wit ALL of them were PPO’s!

    Get the concept of Clark Kent suddenly going into a phone booth and becoming Superman.

    Got that? Good.

    At any time, any harmless looking staff person could suddenly turn into a PPO! The E/D, Receptionist, your Course Sup…presto! On you they could descend…fighting for truth, justice, the American Way and to get you to sign a staff contract.

    They’d take turns. THIS way, after being recruited by ONE of them, (always unsuccessfully, in my case) the targeted prey would then be freed up to go thru the SAME cycle with another staff

    Quite ingenious, actually, as it eliminated the justification for EXPLODING at any one staff member: “But we went THROUGH this already! I TOLD you this already, i TOLD you why I can’t join staff, and you SAID you understood, and now you’re asking me AGAIN, and we’re going thru this WHOLE THING AGAIN!!!!”

    No, you couldn’t do this, because although you’d get the same cycle from everyone (including the most amazing compliments, they’d say WONDERFUL things to you) the PEOPLE were always different.

    Now, I’m reading your mind here, and YES, many times I TRIED asking them, “Don’t you people TALK to one another? Must I CONSTANTLY say the SAME thing over and over again to EACH of you?”

    Like I said, I tried 🙂

    Even now, just writing this, my stomach is clenching a little 🙂

    God I’m glad to be outta there!

    Reply
    • Peggy L says

      April 3, 2018 at 8:43 pm

      I’m happy for you that you are out of there too Aquamarine.

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        April 4, 2018 at 2:02 am

        Thanks, Peggy!

        Reply
    • MJM says

      April 3, 2018 at 9:59 pm

      I hear you! My favorite was a voicemail from a staff member: “Got a quick question. Give me a call.”

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        April 4, 2018 at 2:06 am

        OMG, yes! Yes! The “quick question” stratagem. Allow me to translate: Staff Recruitment Cycle Fully Loaded.

        Reply
        • MJM says

          April 4, 2018 at 10:02 am

          I never returned the call, but I imagine the question would be something like this: “Hey Big Being! How do we get you upgraded to Patron status before Thursday at 2 pm?”

          Reply
          • Aquamarine says

            April 4, 2018 at 5:39 pm

            🙂

            Reply
    • Peabody says

      April 3, 2018 at 10:33 pm

      I always replied that I took LSD. Worked every time.

      Reply
      • MJM says

        April 4, 2018 at 3:18 pm

        I guess Steve Jobs wouldn’t qualify.

        Reply
  9. mwesten says

    April 3, 2018 at 5:07 pm

    Welcome everybody. Seven of you here, that’s great!

    What’s that? Religion? Ohhh no, you mustn’t worry. Scientology is self-help for the soul. You can be anyone or anything here, we don’t care. And yes, we totally respect freedom of religion. Although…I must admit…we don’t tolerate those who wish to practice the scientology religion outside of this organisation. That’s definitely not okay. Those people are nutjobs. And evil! Yes, they’re very evil indeed. At some point we may need your help in destroying them.

    But…as for other religions, yeah we are all about tolerance! Well…okay…so long as it’s not Eckankar or some shit like that. Those freaks are on our Enemies List. Yes, that’s right, we have an Enemies List. Never you mind about that now. You’re not allowed to have any dealings with them. Nope. None. Sorry.

    But…any other religion is totally okay! Yes, definitely! Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism… whatever floats your boat. We are, like, sooooo respectful. Freedom, man. We f**king love it. Although…hmmm…well, we might have told the IRS that you’re eventually expected to ditch other spiritual practices and commit to us 100%. Yes, it turns out we really did say that. Okay…well…perhaps it’s worth me showing you the references on “mixing practices” now as I’d hate for you to get in trouble later. You definitely won’t be allowed onto the OT levels if you’ve still got a boner for Jesus.

    But…if you want to pretend you’re still a believer just to keep the peace at family gatherings, that’s totally okay. Just be careful. Don’t let on that they are simply acting out hypnotic suggestions implanted into them millions of years ago by galactic slavers. Oops, sorry, you’re not supposed to know that yet! Ignore me, haha! Ahem.

    Hmm…just the one applicant left, I see. So you’re fine with all of that? That is good news! You’re hired! Welcome aboard.

    One last thing…before I forget… You’re not gay are you?

    Reply
    • Hnnng says

      April 3, 2018 at 11:12 pm

      Boner for Jesus.

      HAHAHAHA

      Reply
    • dwarmed says

      April 4, 2018 at 12:04 am

      Hilarious. Seven people, though? As if. Not even with a fabulous gourmet spread of stale potato chips (that’s only for CF).

      Reply
    • TitleWaves says

      April 4, 2018 at 2:09 am

      MWestTen:

      Perfect! Perfect!

      Thank you.

      Reply
  10. hgc10 says

    April 3, 2018 at 4:57 pm

    I wonder what volunteers in the mail room do all day.

    Reply
    • I Yawnalot says

      April 3, 2018 at 6:01 pm

      Same as the auditors and other staff.

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        April 3, 2018 at 8:38 pm

        HGC, they play tiddlywinks. They do it in secret.

        Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      April 4, 2018 at 2:09 am

      Well, they don’t marry the bosses daughter or Succeed In Business Without Really Trying, that’s for sure. (RIP wonderful Robert Morse.)

      Reply
  11. Komodo Dragon says

    April 3, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    I noticed off the bat the line: Positions we are looking to fill entail such things as: Counselling… with emphasis on the selling. Perhaps this is intentionally misspelled, a cleaver implant to subconsciously load the minds of respondents: sell, sell, sell!

    Reply
    • Peabody says

      April 3, 2018 at 5:46 pm

      I think they mean conselling.

      Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      April 3, 2018 at 7:57 pm

      You flatter them, Komodo. They’re ESL or cult semi-literates.

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        April 3, 2018 at 8:42 pm

        I’ve seen a semi. I drove one. But, never a semi-literate.

        Reply
        • Aquamarine says

          April 4, 2018 at 2:13 am

          OSD, you’re a Born Again comedy straight man but I’m going to let this opportunity pass 🙂

          Reply
          • Old Surfer Dude says

            April 4, 2018 at 11:33 am

            Damn!

            Reply
  12. I Yawnalot says

    April 3, 2018 at 3:48 pm

    Whichever way you camouflage quicksand – it’s still quicksand!
    Another little gem of a lie is hidden in that article, in that they state age doesn’t matter, yeah right! Being old and Scientology don’t mix, not unless you crave being punished that little bit extra above and beyond standard cult treatment. Say goodbye to any medical respite and all drugs, even prescription. It’s one of the most horrible, heartbreaking experiences, witnessing what Scientology does to and with aging people. Body breakdown because of age is bad enough, add the culture/mindset of Scientology to it… oh my. Evil thrives in the corridors of Scientology.
    The off switch for Scientology has already been initiated, they apparently haven’t noticed!

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      April 3, 2018 at 8:23 pm

      Its the stress they endure, Yawn. Wreaks havoc with your adrenal glands. Makes you insatiably crave sugar and cheap carbs which even if they don’t lead to obesity lead to diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease. And yes, you’re right, being old and Scientology don’t mix, so like vampires they hover over the school kids to get fresh blood. These kids age FAST in the SO because everything that’s naturally good in them gets drained and they become vampires themselves, draining from others what was drained from them. And so on. Look at Jenny Linson and that guy with her at Lax when they ambushed Marty Rathbun. Hell, look at Marty himself now! He has that empty, hollow-eyed zombie look. Ant the beauties who ambushed Mike Rinder a few years ago in a parking lot, one of whom was his ex-wife.. The same look, all of them. Poster People for seasoned, Sea Org vampires. They’re less than human and I believe its continual stress and inadequate sleep that makes hollow eyed wrecks out of them with no more natural feelings. That’s my opinion.

      Reply
      • whatareyourcrimes says

        April 3, 2018 at 11:04 pm

        Remember the inch wives on Anderson Cooper’s show? How can such dead eyes still somehow reveal a seething arrogance beneath the surface? Good Lord, did those ex-wives ever fail in that trained seal exhibit.

        Reply
        • Aquamarine says

          April 4, 2018 at 5:57 pm

          Yes, wayc, the inch wives. I wouldn’t even call them “bitches” because that’s too real, too human. Dead-eyed, soul-less, heart-less …bots, I suppose – for lack of a better term. And the men are the same. There’s just nothing there, really. Hard to explain.

          Reply
    • Peggy L says

      April 3, 2018 at 8:52 pm

      I Yawnalot, when someone in the Sea Org reaches age 62 can they receive their Social Security check? I guess I’m assuming even though they don’t make much that they have to fill out income tax so there should be some record of deductions.

      Reply
      • I Yawnalot says

        April 3, 2018 at 10:57 pm

        I’m not American but my wife is. As far as I know you need to pay something into social security while you work to get something back later in life. The longer you’re in Scientology the worse off you’ll be when they throw you out.
        If I am wrong about this, someone please correct me. In Australia you are entitled to the age pension (it’s not much) but unless you’ve invested in a superannuation scheme while employed (enforced by law) there would be no super you could claim. I don’t know exactly how Scientology gets around that in Australia. I imagine it’s in the fine print – It’s a religious service, volunteer etc. Whichever way you look at Scientology, the greedy, evil ooze drips on the floor.

        Reply
        • Peggy L says

          April 4, 2018 at 10:13 am

          There’s something really fishy about this though. Either the employee, whether they are independent contractors or not, would be filing something with the government. I thought the threshold was $400 earnings, and I thought the employer also had to contribute something to social security. At any rate, if you receive pay it has to be reported, at least I thought so. I remember many years ago when I was working very part time, I still had to file what I earned, even though it was only $600 because the person I worked for reported it on their tax form. Then again, this is why I pay an accountant now.

          Those poor people in the Sea Org are screwed no matter how hard they work 🙁

          Reply
          • Wynski says

            April 4, 2018 at 11:08 am

            Peggy, the threshold for filing is $10,400

            Reply
      • gtsix says

        April 4, 2018 at 9:53 am

        You have to pay into Social Security to get anything back. So no, they get nothing.

        Reply
        • Wynski says

          April 4, 2018 at 11:11 am

          Not true gtsix. When the program was created people who were retiring (and couldn’t contribute as the program didn’t exit) got SS retirement payments.

          It has always been a Ponzi scheme and has ALWAYS been in arrears because it is structured like one.

          Reply
        • Peggy L says

          April 4, 2018 at 11:34 am

          So David Miscavige isn’t the Pope of Scientology, he’s the Pimp of Scientology. He sits on billions of dollars made on the back of the workers and sits on all the money they make for his personal pleasures. Nice. Very classy. So, is Tom Cruise assistant pimp, or just his favorite “worker”?

          Reply
        • gtsix says

          April 4, 2018 at 12:44 pm

          Yes, the govt ‘grandfathered’ in people who were retiring who hadn’t paid because the program didn’t exist. That was the exception, it is no longer.

          It is not “in arrears” at all.

          It is not a Ponzi scheme, though the those who want to destroy it will constantly bring up this falsehood.

          Reply
          • Wynski says

            April 4, 2018 at 1:39 pm

            LMAO! You cannot “grandfather” people into an investment. Also, the SS “fund” went upside down DECADES AGO. In ’68 the Congress (still then held by FDRs party) & LBJ passed a law to allow Congress to dump it ALL into the general Treasury fund and spend it on general expenses of the US gov. The SS “fund” was GONE within 3 years.

            I hate when people, in the age of the data available via the internet choose to remain uneducated.

            Reply
            • gtsix says

              April 4, 2018 at 3:15 pm

              LMFAO!!!!! (you need more exclamations)

              “I hate when people, in the age of data available in the internet choose to remain uneducated”

              Then why are you? 🙂

              Reply
              • Wynski says

                April 4, 2018 at 5:27 pm

                Lame gtsix. At LEAST be bright enough to create an original come back.

                So, why did you “think” that the S.S. fund had money in it when news reports over the last few decades have been warning otherwise and the data is available online at .gov websites?

  13. Karen#1 says

    April 3, 2018 at 2:31 pm

    It is such a falsehood to keep stating “Scientology Network” Miscavige used this term. it is nonsense. A Broadcasting License is needed to run a network. The Scientology cult does not have a Broadcasting license.
    A Network airs in all states such as CNN, ABC, NBC, FOX, CBS. The Scientology cult has purchased air time and that’s all. Purchasing a slot of airtime does NOT mean they are Network. Scientology “Network” is propaganda by misuse of terminology.

    Reply
    • PeaceMaker says

      April 3, 2018 at 7:23 pm

      Karen, I think that time have changed enough that there is arguably some validity in using “network” for online media. For example, the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN – best known for Pat Robertson’s 700 Club show) is now entirely online – except for a grandfathered-in agreement to show the 700 Club on a cable channel – and putting on a full worldwide schedule of high-quality news shows and programs requires them to have a budget of about $300 million per year, a reality of the modern media landscape that Miscavige apparently overlooked.

      Reply
  14. Miss Q says

    April 3, 2018 at 2:28 pm

    “Scientology requires no faith.”

    So much wrong with this statement.

    Reply
    • Peabody says

      April 3, 2018 at 5:52 pm

      Because one will be given to you.

      Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      April 3, 2018 at 8:45 pm

      Scientology requires no brains…

      Reply
  15. disco george says

    April 3, 2018 at 2:11 pm

    Making the able more… uhhh, ummmm, yeah.

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      April 3, 2018 at 8:33 pm

      Making the able more…poor.

      Reply
      • Mary Kahn says

        April 4, 2018 at 8:43 am

        Making the able into slaves.

        Reply
        • Aquamarine says

          April 4, 2018 at 6:14 pm

          Well, I can’t agree there. Someone can try to make someone else a slave but it can’t be done without the person’s agreement. Without agreement even physically captured and forcibly driven people are not slaves. Slavery is a state of mind.

          Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      April 3, 2018 at 8:46 pm

      Making the able more stupid.

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        April 4, 2018 at 2:17 am

        True, and when you think of it, Miscavige and the entire CO$ are on disability.

        Reply
      • I Yawnalot says

        April 4, 2018 at 5:29 am

        And the stupid more able.

        Reply
        • Aquamarine says

          April 4, 2018 at 6:17 pm

          You got it! “Making the stupid more able to be stupid”. LOL!

          Reply
  16. Marne says

    April 3, 2018 at 1:54 pm

    What continues to nauseate me is the billions of $ grifted in the name of charitable works at the sole disposal of the Mental Midget, while honest, hard-working, dedicated people are being exploited and abused. Additionally, none of these billions have made the way into mainstream charitable organizations and endeavors, aiding the taxpaying public at large; this is the reason tax exemption is granted. I truly Cannot Understand How They Are Allowed To Continue To Operate As They Do! The Real Crime is being perpetrated by our own government* in continuing TO DO NOTHING. The *Hired Help has a lot to answer to in my estimation; they are Not earning their keep.

    Reply
    • whatareyourcrimes says

      April 3, 2018 at 11:09 pm

      Nailed it Marne. BoiledFrogology does absolutely nothing in charitable works, unless you consider the sociopath at the helm some kind of charity case. Well, I guess he is a charity case when you really look at him.

      Reply
  17. John Doe says

    April 3, 2018 at 1:50 pm

    Ok, I’ve got a bit to say here…

    Around 1983 or so, the “Saint Hill Size” LRH ED came out. In that issue, there was one or two lines about how at Old Saint Hill, the organization was expanding so fast that “wogs” were hired and hatted and slammed on post and turned into scientologists in a matter of weeks.

    Or so the story goes.

    So in 1983, a few months after this issue came out, this “hire wogs” concept was taken and used by the recruiter at AOLA and ASHO and other orgs as license to open the floodgates to staff their organizations with non-scientologist recruits who would accept about 20 bucks a week, 3 meals, and a place to sleep in exchange for working 7 days a week.

    You can imagine the kinds of folks that took up this offer. Many homeless, many criminals (as evidenced by the amount of personal belongings that immediately started to disappear around the orgs) and one week, even the ASHO staff payroll (8,000 in cash) was lost in a strong arm robbery set up by one of these recruits with an outside accomplice.

    I remember talking to one of these recruits (for the cadet org) at that time. He bragged about having served time for armed robbery and attempted murder. (!!!)

    Yes, this experiment ended badly. The whole cohort of these recruits, over 50 men, few to no women and occupying an entire floor of Lebanon Hall was offloaded one night by a security force of RPF. Basically all kicked out overnight.

    As I recall, this whole fiasco took place over a 3 month period or so.

    But this fiasco took a far greater toll than the just the thievery that took place. It was a terrible hit to the morale of the Sea Org staff.

    Veteran Sea Org staff were basically being shown that the whole premise of “many are called, few are chosen, you are in the top ten percent of the top ten percent of intelligent people, part of an elite OT group” was basically bullshit. The poor SO staff were being shown that they were at the employment level in society that only homeless people would agree to.

    These SO members were being shown that what they did, what they had devoted their lives to, what some of them had trained years for in Scientology academies, could be done by just about any “instant hatted criminal wog”.

    It was an invalidation of the same magnitude as when Miscavige proclaimed to a crowd of Sea Org members that his movie star, jet setting pal Tom Cruise was the most dedicated scientologist he knew.

    I believe this disaster was one of the factors that contributed to the massive exodus of staff and possibly some public at that time.

    So yeah, Scientology, you’ve been down this path before. Don’t be surprised if a lot of that state-of-the-art equipment at your new TV station starts disappearing.

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      April 3, 2018 at 8:41 pm

      Great intel and comment, John Doe.

      Reply
    • whatareyourcrimes says

      April 3, 2018 at 11:13 pm

      Great comments John Doe. The religion of foot bullets just keeps looking more and more ridiculous with every day and every story that comes out.

      Buffoonery, thy name is scientology.

      Reply
  18. Traveling Around the World says

    April 3, 2018 at 1:46 pm

    Great post today.

    By the way, we are traveling around the world and have seen no evidence of Scientology anywhere. There are tons of other “religions” out there…but no Scientology anywhere to be found.

    No Missions… No VM’s…no Org’s..nada!… in the areas we have been traveling in…

    I think we have been bamboozled.

    Scientology is nothing but “smoke and mirrors” done with proper propaganda…

    I can’t believe “I believed” the WHOLE thing….Cringe!

    Reply
    • TitleWaves says

      April 4, 2018 at 2:05 am

      Thank you, JD… So eloquently said…

      Reply
  19. Lynda Castell-Blanch says

    April 3, 2018 at 1:16 pm

    BUT!!! YOU GET A FREE UNIFORM WITH ANY “AGREEMENT”. I’m in!!!!!

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      April 3, 2018 at 8:49 pm

      I was in line first, Lynda! I’ve dreamed of this moment all my life. A uniform. That’s what I want.

      Reply
      • Deb says

        April 3, 2018 at 11:16 pm

        Ooh, I love a man in a uniform !

        Reply
        • Old Surfer Dude says

          April 4, 2018 at 11:38 am

          I’m right here!, Deb! Ahhhhhh…Deb?

          Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        April 4, 2018 at 2:22 am

        You can join the elite Surfer Sea Org, OSD. On their belts are little insignia that say, “We Don’t Go In The Soup”.

        Reply
        • Old Surfer Dude says

          April 4, 2018 at 11:40 am

          Where do go then? I go in the bushes.

          Reply
        • Aquamarine says

          April 4, 2018 at 6:22 pm

          The soup, silly! The kind of waves that are all roiled up and foamy. Or am I totally off in my surfer lingo? When I lived in Hawaii back in the day, that’s what my roommates boyfriends who were surfers used to call that foam. They’d say things like, “Damn, I fell in the soup”.

          Reply
    • whatareyourcrimes says

      April 3, 2018 at 11:15 pm

      Airport Holiday Inn bar staff uniforms… those zombies scurrying around Clearwater aren’t dressed as nice.

      Reply
  20. MJM says

    April 3, 2018 at 12:53 pm

    We have some time since passed the point of achieving uniformly unworkable technology.

    Reply
    • georgemwhite says

      April 4, 2018 at 7:49 am

      ROFL

      Reply
  21. Ammo Alamo says

    April 3, 2018 at 12:48 pm

    “Scientology requires no faith. It is something you do.”

    That’s our secret way of saying Scn is really not a religion, but don’t tell the IRS, they might think we meant ‘Scientology requires no faith because it is really not a religion,
    HA HA, BOY DID WE FOOL YOU GUYS”.

    Reply
  22. Zardu Bafflemaff says

    April 3, 2018 at 12:47 pm

    Someone please send a copy of SchoolHouse Rocks to the Melbourne Org. Holy crap ,my eyes hurt.

    Reply
  23. gnw says

    April 3, 2018 at 12:46 pm

    Wondering about the comment that “Scientology requires no faith” … does this not eliminate them from “church status”, i.e., tax free? Did they just shoot their own argument down or are laws different in Australia?

    Reply
  24. Hnnng says

    April 3, 2018 at 11:40 am

    >>They must be hoping to snare some people who don’t really understand english (perhaps their tortured syntax and inability to spell is a secret message to the english as a second language community?)<<

    I saw an exposé about those Princes from Africa wanting to deposit millions of dollars into our bank accounts.

    They are horrifically written with many spelling/grammar errors. Turns out – that's part of the bait:
    If you aren't keen enough to see through all the errors and actually trust what's written – you are their mark.

    So, maybe it isn't an issue of ignorance on CoS' part – maybe they know the tactic?

    Ok. So I'm hoping that's what it is …

    Reply
    • Frodis73 says

      April 3, 2018 at 12:56 pm

      I was going to post the exact same info!! I always wondered about that. The scammers look for people that ignore that stuff on purpose. It does make sense when you think about it. If one is willing to ignore that, it’s easier to ignore other red flags.

      Reply
  25. Cat W. says

    April 3, 2018 at 11:37 am

    Sadly, it’s become common to advocate that people without work experience “volunteer” in order to get it. (This happens even in places that are supposedly there to help people find jobs.) This adds a whole new level of exploitation to our already exploitative culture. Only people with some other source of support can afford to do it, and there is no guarantee of coming out of it with resume-worthy experiences.

    Volunteering for Scientology is much worse, of course, because it’s a “work experience” you would either have to leave off your resume entirely or wordsmith a whole lot to make it sound like something other than being in a cult. Which would not stop Scientologists from ruining a bunch more young lives to get their stats up. Burns me up.

    Reply
    • Wynski says

      April 3, 2018 at 4:30 pm

      Cat, if one doesn’t have skills needed by employers what else can one expect? Businesses DON’T exist to be employment centers…

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        April 3, 2018 at 8:50 pm

        I would agree, and add, that its not fair for a trainee to making the same salary as someone who has already learned the skills to do the job. The only business people I know who DON’T think this way are some I know who operate their businesses as half-way houses for their unemployed children and other relatives.

        Reply
        • Aquamarine says

          April 3, 2018 at 8:58 pm

          “…to BE making, etc…”

          Reply
        • Wynski says

          April 4, 2018 at 8:24 am

          Aqua, as it is private property, how we want a business to pay is irrelevant. It isn’t a public concern. Badly run businesses go by the wayside unless the gov’t illegally interferes to keep them open because, truly better run concerns eventually put them out of business.

          The natural law about this is; The Market is ALWAYS Right.

          Reply
          • Aquamarine says

            April 4, 2018 at 6:35 pm

            Hmmm…”The market is ALWAYS right”. For the most part, I agree with you. Some aspects of the free market could be debated though. For example, what about weather conditions that wipe out crops? Or should these farmers be solely responsible and carrying insurance for this sort of thing? I’m not knowledgeable about such matters but it would appear to me that hurricanes, floods, droughts, etc., that wipe out or severely impact crops would need some government help to stabilize the scene. But I suspect you’re not going to agree . I don’t know why I think that 🙂

            Reply
            • Aquamarine says

              April 4, 2018 at 6:45 pm

              Actually, I just realized that what I illustrated above is a false equivalency to your point.. A poorly run business will fail and be put out of business and replaced by another, etc., but a farmer can run his farm perfectly and still fail because of circumstances beyond his control. Your point was correct and not inclusive of circumstances beyond the business owner’s control, like the weather.

              Reply
            • Wynski says

              April 5, 2018 at 8:04 am

              Aqua, you don’t understand the comment about the “market”. It is the people deciding what to buy in aggregate, Or what happens as a result of decisions. The “market” can never be wrong because it is what it is.

              Regarding the farmer, why doesn’t he/she stock water for any dry spells or balance the cost of insurance as all farmers are on EQUAL footing that way?

              You see, the axiom is absolute. Now, the gov’t distorts this by telling the farmer, We will take $ by force from your neighbor if you fail to plan for droughts, so don’t worry. THUS, as I said earlier, unless the gov’t illegally interferes, badly run businesses will fail.

              Similar happens in the housing market. The Gov’t robs Peter to pay Paul (year after year) to build his house on the beach where hurricanes regularly wash away anything built.

              Which is why the Founders made it ILLEGAL for the Fed Gov’t to do all those things.

              Reply
    • gtsix says

      April 4, 2018 at 10:07 am

      These used to be called entry level positions which would teach you skills. Yes the pay was low, but there was pay, there was benefits.

      Even fast food restaurants have to train employees on customer service, running the register and properly counting money.

      If companies NEED employees, companies will train employees. If they don’t NEED employees, they will only hire experienced people.

      Reply
  26. Sue says

    April 3, 2018 at 11:23 am

    Everyone in Scientology is volunteering their time and Money ugg…

    Reply
    • Kronomex says

      April 3, 2018 at 7:48 pm

      Oohh, I’m so excited not to go to Melbourne and not to go to the org to not volunteer and to not get a team uniform and not wear it…

      I wonder if the, roughly speaking, 8×12 metre dark and dingy “Launceston Life Improvement Centre” that seems to be perpetually closed will ever be Miscavigeised into a super-dooper super org?

      Reply
  27. SILVIA says

    April 3, 2018 at 10:54 am

    Yes, it’s contradictory: if there is such a massive expansion, how come they are begging for any one to join them?

    Also, signing them as Volunteers could prevent further law suits against them. After all, they were volunteers, not contracted as employees.

    It as well could be they want to use them (NOT help them) to film videos for the Suck Production Media – SMP – as proof of how unprecedented the expansions is.

    Oh boy, they sure are desperate and their lies and deception are in an up-trending stat!

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      April 4, 2018 at 2:25 am

      Yes, you’re a volunteer but when you sign a staff contract they require your Social Security number. Well, they never got mine!

      Reply
  28. Eh=Eh says

    April 3, 2018 at 10:46 am

    Been there done that and definitely do not recommend any of that! ?

    Reply
  29. jim says

    April 3, 2018 at 10:42 am

    Recruiting by targeting the bottom of the barrel?

    This will not end well.

    Reply
  30. Peggy L says

    April 3, 2018 at 10:26 am

    Gee, I would sing up because that sounds just wonderful, but, unfortunately, I have to have a root canal, which seems more appealing at the moment.

    I retired a few years ago from over 25 years in sales, design, marketing, and have to say, this is absolutely the worst help wanted ad I’ve ever seen.

    Reply
    • Peter says

      April 4, 2018 at 8:02 am

      Keep watching, Peggy. They WILL outdo themselves with something still worse and even LESS intelligent. LOL

      Reply
      • Peggy L says

        April 4, 2018 at 9:50 am

        Ok Peter, but that one will be hard to top 🙂 Then again, there is a pattern now.

        Reply
  31. xenu's son says

    April 3, 2018 at 10:08 am

    Next suggested flyer:We now wanna race muney fur Aplied Schelastiks.

    Reply
  32. xenu's son says

    April 3, 2018 at 10:01 am

    Last Scientologists inexorably moving into GAI.
    Golden Age of Illiteracy.

    Reply
    • I Yawnalot says

      April 3, 2018 at 6:13 pm

      Scientology, the criminal, para military organisation out of step with both life & itself. Left and right use to be delineated clearly within the language, now it’s all sort of blended and or is being blended depending on how much money and corruption is involved. The Scientology cult leads a new slant on enforcing this new type of homo novis and is as completely ridiculous as it is insulting to the intelligence.

      Reply
      • Kronomex says

        April 3, 2018 at 8:17 pm

        I think “homo novis” should be changed to “homo knobhead.”

        Reply
        • MJM says

          April 3, 2018 at 10:03 pm

          Homo not-is.

          Reply
  33. Michael Creger says

    April 3, 2018 at 10:01 am

    As always, Thank you for this mike. Funny, but not at the same time.

    Reply
  34. BKmole says

    April 3, 2018 at 9:59 am

    This ad guarantees a quality level of staff that will surely lead to more seasoned staff leaving. The desperation to take in unqualified help insures poor delivery, overload of qualified staff and erosion of group unity. This is one more indices that the cult is going down. Thanks mike for you continued exposure of Scientology. It is working!

    Reply
    • whatareyourcrimes says

      April 3, 2018 at 11:19 pm

      BKmole, I have a theory that there may be some true espionage and effective saboteurs quietly working within scientology. Funny your name is BKmole, come to think of it.

      Hey Miscavige how does that make you sleep at night?

      Reply
  35. BOLO-Be On Look Out says

    April 3, 2018 at 9:36 am

    I thought they were expanding at an epic rate? With all of the new and dedicated scientologists there must surely be a few hundred stay-at-home spouses at each Org that would love to help 10-15 hours per week. What about the 250 plus in the teen programs? They could help after school and on weekends. I see this in other churches.

    It seems strange that the utopia of scientology where one would expect that chocolate bunnies crap gold coins and unicorns shoot rainbows out their ass cannot seem to find people for simple tasks.

    Reply
  36. PeaceMaker says

    April 3, 2018 at 8:41 am

    First, what does ScnTV staffing have to do with the Melbourne org? They really are trying to leverage it bizarrely. Plus there are no real day-to-day operations on a “network” that is only recycling canned shows, all the”broadcasting” is being outsourced to DirectTV and the server farms providing the online video feeds, where competent outside professionals are being paid good money for the work involved.

    And “the network has already led to massive expansion”? Really? Where is there even a shred of evidence for that? Do the people writing that actually believe that it’s going on, presumably having been told that it’s happening somewhere else; or are they just knowingly lying, perhaps using some very stretched and deceptive definition of the word “expansion”?

    Reply
    • Peabody says

      April 3, 2018 at 6:00 pm

      The prupose of the nework isnt fur making the expashun beggur but fir macking the desert smallar.

      Reply
      • whatareyourcrimes says

        April 3, 2018 at 11:21 pm

        Nice try, scientology troll.

        Reply
  37. Wynski says

    April 3, 2018 at 8:11 am

    Did you just eskape from a shipping container and have a no place to gro? Don’t speak Engrish and are afraid of being deported? Join are winner teem!

    Reply
    • Kyle says

      April 3, 2018 at 1:33 pm

      All your faith are belong to us!

      Reply
      • Wynski says

        April 3, 2018 at 9:19 pm

        lol

        Reply
      • Hnnng says

        April 3, 2018 at 11:24 pm

        +1

        Reply
    • MJM says

      April 3, 2018 at 1:59 pm

      Keeping Scientology Wanking.

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        April 4, 2018 at 11:43 am

        ROTFLMFAO! Whew! Now that’s some funny shit!

        Reply

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