Surely, the ALL CAPS, asterisks, exclamation points and misspelled word signifies the announcement that the planet has been cleared? At least ideal Southern California? Or even just The Valley? After all, the magnitude of this news is no exageration [sic]... Alas, the 6X big news is that you can win and be awarded by handing us your money. Woohoo. What a thrill. You hand over the cash and we will not only "award" you, we will tell you that your money is worth twice as much, so you can be twice as proud! You get a $20,000 certificate and you only have to give us $10,000. Who could … [Read more...]
“We’ll have to come back to earth someday…”
A sort of follow-up to yesterday's post about deaths in scientology. This from a slightly different angle. I wonder if the person who put together this promo piece and chose this quote even gave it a moment of thought. Probably not. It's good enough that "LRH said it" so we can just put it in here and it will inspire people. Because his words are inspiring. Always. No matter what they say. But if you stop for a second, where is "the Commodore"? He has not "come back"? No sign of him (Justin Craig doesn't count, or if that IS him then he regressed terribly in his between-lives implant … [Read more...]
Why Albuquerque?
That is a question for which there are a few answers, but none of them are "this city wants scientology." The first answer is "COB wants it" -- so therefore it must be done. Scientology is no longer the kingdom of L. Ron Hubbard. Everyone knows you can't say that these building boondoggles are "what LRH wants". But that does not matter any more. After all, it's been Miscavige in charge of scientology for longer than Hubbard ran the show at this point. The second is "we always need new reasons to hand over cash, after all, that's what scientology is all about." Number 3 -- "It's Sea … [Read more...]
Scientology Recruitment
Scientology's quest for money is unrelenting. They rake in tens of millions (perhaps hundreds) each year. But they have to spend at least some of it to satisfy IRS requirements. They don't ever give it away. One of the things they spend it on is new buildings (they always say they have opened "a new church" but in fact they have not opened any new churches since the one in East Harlem NY and before that the one in Inglewood and before that, nobody can recall). Buildings remain assets on their books, so the statistic of "total reserves" does not go down (total reserves is cash, property, … [Read more...]
It’s Thursday…
This recent promotional item caught my attention as one of the more ridiculous pieces I have seen in a while. So it seemed perfect for a Thursday Funny. They're holding a "virtual" event (on 5 July) but you are supposed to "serve your favorite Independence Day food." Is this a virtual leftovers event? The poor fools have been working on "building" their "ideal org" to "create Man's true freedom" for more than 15 YEARS and are no closer to having a building now than when they began. And of course, they will only start creating Man's true (?) freedom once they have a building. Because … [Read more...]
This is Funny (and it’s Thursday)
The "Rebels for Freedom" are "riding" -- virtually! You must watch the video -- it shows a bunch of unknown bikers rolling down the highway to Steppenwolf 's"Born to be wild" and then cuts to various stills of old scientology-people in sunglasses trying to look tough/cool. Like they are bikers... It says there will be "Breaking news" from the Landlord Office that will "massively accelerate" the ideal org in New Haven. I can easily translate this: if you give more money, we will "accelerate" the New Haven "ideal org." But "acceleration" of this ideal org is an … [Read more...]
Pretoria “Ideal” Org: Barely Alive But The Building’s Fine
Here are the latest news and accomplishments from the scientology outpost in Pretoria South Africa. Their number one priority is to protect their BUILDING! And then protect their staff. And then protect their public. That tells you everything there is to know about the state of scientology... The most important thing is not the people, it's the bricks and mortar. MEST. This single promotional item sums up scientology with that one statement. But they go on with a list of graduates -- I highlighted 3 recurring names. Didn't pay much attention to any other recurring … [Read more...]
Breaking News: Tampa Org is Now Open!
Tampa sent an email out last evening announcing they are "Open to the Public." They have implemented a few "minor guidelines" -- including following their own booklet on how to stay safe and wearing facemasks and gloves (gloves? even though the evidence shows COVID-19 is not transmitted via hard surfaces). It is going to be interesting to watch how much attrition scientology will suffer from this lockdown. I suspect there is a good percentage of their public who experienced the unusual peace and calm of not being constantly harassed by regges and don't ever want that headache to come … [Read more...]
Valley Org – Nobody Home?
Somehow the only pronouncements that come out of Valley Org come from these two -- and they are the "OT Committee"... Surely, it is the job of the STAFF to board up the org? Are there actually no staff left? The staff of the org have nothing to do right now. Whey aren't they boarding the place up? Virtually every ideal org that has had staff "ringers" For the ribbon yanking day -- either temporarily sent from other orgs to make it appear they had at least a minimum number complement supervisors, or "wog recruits" who were promised a "livable wage" in the weeks leading up to the … [Read more...]
“No Reging”
This is a bit old. I had overlooked it and then noticed "No Reging"[sic]. This is a very interesting development. John Alex Wood is still alive and kicking? Who knew? But more importantly, I think this is an indicator the pandemic is going to have a significant long-term effect on scientology. Not only because people are not coming in and paying for services right now and are instead hiding out at home doing a $20 Extension Course, sending in a chapter every few weeks. But because this break is changing the mindset of the sheeple. It's like someone who has had a headache every … [Read more...]