The latest edition of the International Scientology News magazine arrived in my mailbox, and apart from the glossy puffery and fake stats, what was most remarkable was how many times they felt the need to show Miscavige’s face.
Of course, he is the focus of the cover of the magazine supposedly celebrating the birthday of L. Ron Hubbard.
His plastic smile and lacquered bouffant appear 16 more times — with 4 of these full page glamor shots, as well as the back cover taken from behind him on stage.
I would be embarrassed by this level of brown-nosing, but that is not an emotion felt by sociopaths. He is probably wondering who is trying to undermine his authority by including so FEW images.
I have not yet had a chance to analyze the false claims made in this magazine, but I did note at the end , along with the final full-page glamor shot (you don’t want anyone getting to the last page and not remembering who was really important) they included his “In Closing” from the event and that is an interesting piece. Of course, the author of Shermanspeak is no longer available to write his purple prose, so he seems to have tried his hand at it himself — and it is an absolute farce. This stuff makes even less sense than when Sherman did it, and grammatically it is horrendous. Repetitive. Half sentences. Run on sentences. Jumbled syntax. You can be sure everyone stood up and cheered like this was the Gettysburg addresses, but if you take a few minutes to to wade your way through it, there is no question it’s just embarrassing nonsense.
Guy Vogel says
It appears many of us out there are in the shadows of the evil being 3rd partied on how we ought to think and feel about David Miscavige. I’ve witnessed others in action – who labor at delivering their ‘forced upon’ doctrine by heavily attempting to 3rd party anyone who does not believe the current mainstream of what the others’ already took on as their most recent and fixed belief – being that David Miscavige is… whatever they mocked up him to be. Unfortunately, those who were initially indoctrinated swallowed the pill that resulted in them being infected with an ‘enforced reality.’ In other words, someone got a hold of them too. Kinda runs hand in hand with: “what came first the overt or the motivator?”
The viciousness behind the 3rd party act is a dangerous, cyclic and unfair action that spreads like a cancer and most of the time is usually a – rumor. In most cases, the poor guy or the group now being 3rd partied never had the opportunity to meet those followers who have been savagely 3rd partied and now following suit. Those who aimlessly follow participate solely to spread lies, false information and hate. Kinda like: “Hey, count me in for the ride, I’ve nothing else better goin on.” This is what causes one to get sick, to feel spinny, to be uncomfortable with self and even fall into a slow deteriorating state of unconsciousness – merely because they sold off any remaining integrity they had hanging around. Talking about bank agreement. And all of it stems from an enforce reality. By the way this alone is what got us all in the mess to begin with.
The following may be a valid statement: ‘we all should access the depth of the waters before putting our feet inside’ – and this applies to anyone we meet and everything we get involved with. So, my advice for anyone who is going along for a ride of destruction just to be accepted or liked by others or maybe to look interesting, is to use that energy to dig a little deeper and find more out about self.
For example, I do not think anyone walking into a room full of people should feel they have to put a smile on their face just because everyone else is wearing a smiling. I wouldn’t do it. And I do not think anyone should have to go along just to get along. Again, I wouldn’t do it.
Many of us have lost what is called self-identity. But I have learned not to allow myself to engage so easily in what the ‘other’ thinks – as interesting as they may play it off or whatever it is they may be pawning off.
So, in short it would be unfair of me to go around carrying extra weight and luggage of dislike and hate based on self-manifested accumulation of imagine thoughts that originated from the pointing of fingers of someone who I never had the chance to meet. How many of you met DM?
Allow me to end off with the following: “what is true for you is true for you” just be certain it is you who shows up to make the decision. Perhaps another way of saying it is by LRH himself: “what is true for you is what you have observed yourself and when you lost that you have lost everything.”
Mike Rinder says
I certainly did. So did the Headleys, Tom DeVocht, Janis Grady, Mark Fisher, Aaron Smith-Levin, Leah Remini, Jenna Miscavige, Ron Miscavige, John Brousseau and many others.
I didn’t meet Hitler. But I don’t feel the need to know he was evil incarnate.
Guy Vogel says
For those of you who are not in agreement with the works of LRH, would it not be fair to say that you must have learned something ‘good’ from it? There must be something that you use today in your life that helps you along i.e., holding your position in space, granting beingness, the cycle of communication, spotting tones, TR’s, experiencing that of a static, ARC – (even for self), application of ethics and even putting an end to those self – compelled harmful acts that were not beneficial or helpful… These are just a smitten of the basics. I’ll bet you fifty cents on the dollar you are using something affiliated with the tech and possibly not even aware of it.
The only reason the philosophy indicates to anyone at all is because of where they are in life in conjunction with the emotional tone levels, the conditions, the dynamics, the ‘know to mystery scale,’ the chart of attitudes… Something indicated to them. Hubbard cleverly designed the philosophy with an ‘accessible reach’ for anyone who was brave enough to say: “I need help and I want to be a better person, do better in life and have a better life…” He was insightful enough to figure: “where is the present range of human behavior? Where is the populace sitting as a whole…?”
As far as anyone outside who may be in disagreement and degrading while tearing down, diminishing and expressing deep seated anger from their frustrations in a chat room among their fellow peers, how does that make anyone feel better? I would think anyone engaging is such would be even more frustrated after their fiasco. After all, what was really achieved?
Many others see this philosophy differently. They see it as a workable technology that betters them and their daily lives – as do I. My life has surely surged compared to what I was dealing with and up against – before being introduced to this philosophy. Going against it would be equated of me going against myself – and you know that is never going to happen.
Let me make a suggesting in the name of help so as to salvage some wasteful energy based on what I see from a point of ‘outside looking in.’ Those of you should each chip in a few bucks and arrange to rent a few charter buses and then peacefully demonstrate in front of Flag and even AOLA and ASHO. Would that not show some courage? I can assure you that all will feel a whole lot better. I’ll even go as far to say that each of you will even feel keyed out by the end of the day.
You see, I learned that in life one is either F/Ning or they are dealing with an accumulation of daily ARC -X’s and PTP’s from being made wrong and living a life of effort… So, by protesting and communicating your disagreements and frustrations, you will not only get your point across, but you will also blow some charge. See it as a win for a change.
The present method being exercised is achieving nothing productive. Only unsolved particle flows of disoriented communication bouncing around aimlessly is produced. How productive is that?
My over all point is: “Once you’ve learned some basic Scientology, you can’t un-think it. It will stick with you the rest of your life plus some.” Those things just don’t go away. Why is that? Take a wild guess.
What else is there?
Guy Vogel
mark says
Loaded language, patronisingly delivered.
Scientology is neither a philosophy nor a “technology”.
Jefe says
I find it disturbing that he could not say what he meant without resorting to Scientology jargon. I found half of that incomprehensible.
mark says
Exactly.
Scientologists think of themselves as being masters of communication. They are not.
Jefe says
Everything written by Hubbard is fiction. He was a pulp fiction writer. Who created a pulp fiction pseudo-religion as a tax dodge. It’s pretty basic. When Scientology lost its tax exempt status,they very clearly documented that Scientology was a scam which existed to fund LRH. Nothing in Scientology has changed except who gets the money… You seem to truly believe in this alternative universe. I hope you find a way to see the world as it is.
mark says
Excellent summation, Jefe.
For those who don’t know, jefe means “boss”. 😎🏋🏾🤗
mark says
Tiny Boots Spreads His Cheeks and Releases A Stream of “Hole Track” Bullshit.
He’s a Legend in his own behind. He’s a Monster of The Gruesome Grammar-less Grind.
Words, out of his mouth, are mere “considerations” that need not be assembled logically and/or aesthetically to form a coherent, meaningful narrative.
Just kiss his ass and give him his money; all hail the Grand Galactic Grifter!
The only expansion happening in scienbollocks world is that of Miss Savage’s offshore accounts…
Phillip says
I could only read about half of the “In Closing” because I could feel the brain cells dying from reading the drivel.
However I did notice the first sentence
“Let’s take a final moment to ponder what LIES (are) ahead.”
Crash says
Maybe someone should knock “Little David” off his high horse and call him “Private Miscavige”
Jefe says
Everybody send Miss Savage a “Very Well Done”…. 🙂
Much Love
-jefe
Overrun in California says
“Confidence lies above case gain” Shouldn’t case gain give you confidence?
I would think that if you’re cause over life on all dynamics then that would give you some confidence at least.
Oh I see, you have to be confident first, then you can become an O.T.???
So go find a way to get confident so you can get up the bridge.
jefe says
If one has confidence, wasn’t that the point in the first place? Why bother with the rest of the scam? A scam predicated on already being successful? Then who would bother? and why? Scientology is soo predatory.
Imaberrated says
Flunk! Retread Key to Life.
Cayden says
What a joke! TC said DM was the “leader of leaders”! Yet he looks so amateur.
Where’s that new ‘Key To Life’ course? Scientology has the tech, but their own leader doesn’t avail himself of it!
And when was the last time DM had auditing? The 1990’s?
What OT level is he on! It’s not OT8!
Never trust a chef who doesn’t eat his own cooking, as the saying goes!
Yawn says
Geezers, there’s only so many ways to polish a turd.
Dan was pretty good at it in retrospect, Miscavige just uses it on his hair. What comes out of his mouth is as nonsensical as it is complete gibberish. Even his most avid supporters surely must have had some unethical thoughts going to sleep that night.
What a sick fuck he is!
Dr. Strabismus of Utrecht says
The Dwarfenführer isn’t using ChatGPT, but an ouija board to channel Dan’s Shermanspeak from beyond the grave and/or Target Two. Trouble is, the planchette keeps skidding.
Goldie says
“Dwarfenführer ” LOLOLOL
angrygaypope says
How could you possibly be STILL ON THEIR MAILING LIST???
Mike Rinder says
It was forwarded to me by someone who is
angrygaypope says
In the past Karen DLC has told me she would get spammed regularly for their self help stuff and Sterling Mgmt.!
Guy Vogel says
Thanks Mike for hearing me out and including me in.
I read your book and found it interesting.
Guy Vogel
Sturlo says
I’m not on their lists and no longer get anything but ASHO UK continues to send their trash to my wife who only ever did a few basic courses, has been out even longer than me and is married to a declared SP. If you know how can I get them to stop, I’m all ears…
TrevAnon says
Ask the Aftermath foundation for their cards and use COS’s envelopes to send them the cards. I think this was Aaron’s advice.
Sturlo says
Thanks, that’s s good idea!
Aquamarine says
Send ASHO UK a LARGE postcard with “Somebody here PLEASE tell me WHO IS XENU? PLEASE write to me ASAP and let me know! Thank you, much love” and then, underneath that and her full name and address. All of the above in easily readable block printing.
That should get her deadfiled pretty quickly.
Sabriel says
Scientology mail transcends death, SP declares, snow, rain, pestilence…
angrygaypope says
When people in LA stiff me financially I put them on Sci mailing lists. Even Delphi!
OSA BOT 27 says
You ask someone for money and they refuse to give you any.
So you put them on a stupid mailing list?
I’ll bet that will make them sorry and they will then give you a lot of money.
Fucking imbecile!
angrygaypope says
No I repaired their computers and they stiffed me for my services!
Pete says
I totally got it. I thought it was hilarious! Not quite sure why OSA BOT didn’t understand.
Free Minds, Free Hearts says
The ChatGPT versions – they got “We Stand Tall” but otherwise, the language is too grammatical. ChatGPT did not capture Dan Sherman’s florid prose. But the, neither did Captain Miscavige. His is clumsier, more awkward and repetitive. I feel like he may have dictated it but not allowed anyone to proof/edit it. What a sad loser, clinging to power in a fast-shrinking and failing organization.
Chris Shugart CDS@shugartmedia.com says
The writing is absolutely terrible. Unreadable—literally. And if this issue is also littered with glam photos of Davey (He’s so cute!), ISN has all the makings of a teen fan mag from the seventies. . . except without photos of David Cassidy and Donny Osmond.
Ammo Alamo says
Last night I asked ChatGPT:
how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood
I got a great answer, but forgot to write it down. It was something like this:
A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would chuck wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
This morning, after repeated tries, I could not get last night’s response. All I get is a short treatise about tongue twisters, woodchuck eating habits, and whimsical phrases.
Oh Sherman, where art thou?
tesseract says
That was a pure gold response you got there! I must say I find it so very ironic that AIs are even being ironic now…! 😎
Joel Bruner says
The grammar, punctuation and structure of those ChatGPT versions are too good. You need more ellipsis and sentences that begin with prepositions and conjunctions… But I could be wrong. While I don’t think I am. 😁
Glenn says
Bottom line.
All Miscabbage is asking for is more staff and buildings. Not members. He’s got enough buildings and staff already. Why not make them flourish and prosper? Oh right. Truth is he just wants more real estate and slaves.
John Doe says
Ok I wasn’t going to go further with this, but this one is eerily reminiscent of the shermanspeak!
ChatGPT prompt:
Write an overly-florid, highly exaggerated, closing speech, given by David Miscavige, leader of Scientology.
ChatGPT:
Ladies and gentlemen, fellow Scientologists, distinguished guests, and all those who have embraced the profound wisdom of L. Ron Hubbard’s teachings, today I stand before you in a momentous occasion to celebrate the triumph of the human spirit, the resplendence of our Church, and the indomitable power of Scientology!
In this grand theater of existence, where the stars themselves bow before our magnificence, I am humbled to address you, not merely as a leader, but as a conductor of miracles. For Scientology, my cherished brethren, is the celestial symphony that resonates with the very fabric of the universe!
Behold the enchanting melody of Dianetics, a harmonious fusion of science and spirituality, unlocking the enigmatic chambers of the mind. Its radiant brilliance pierces through the fog of confusion, illuminating the path to ultimate enlightenment. Our auditors, those virtuosos of the soul, weave their ethereal threads of guidance, liberating each individual from the shackles of the past, and thrusting them into a realm of infinite possibilities!
We are the architects of transformation, forging a destiny far beyond the boundaries of mortal perception. Through our sacred technology, we summon thunderbolts of audacious innovation, crafting a golden bridge that traverses the chasms of the unknown, leading us to the promised land of Clear!
The radiance of Scientology’s E-meter, that sacred instrument which connects us to the celestial currents, reveals the hidden symphony within every being. With its electrifying touch, we cleanse the turbulent waters of the human spirit, transforming chaos into harmony, and propelling our congregants towards the summit of self-actualization!
Marvel, my beloved brethren, at the grand tapestry of our ecclesiastical edifices, each a radiant jewel adorning the global landscape. Our sacred churches are beacons of truth, rising majestically to kiss the heavens, their spires reaching out to touch the very face of eternity! Within their hallowed walls, knowledge is transmuted into divine revelation, and the whispers of destiny echo through the halls, stirring the very essence of our souls.
Let us not forget the incomparable legacy of our Founder, L. Ron Hubbard, whose boundless genius and insatiable thirst for wisdom sculpted the foundation of our eternal voyage. He blazed a trail through the nebulous realms of thought, navigating the unfathomable depths of consciousness, and gifted us with the cosmic compass that guides our sacred mission!
But it is you, dear disciples of Scientology, who breathe life into the symphony. Your unwavering dedication, your unyielding faith, and your tireless pursuit of truth have woven a tapestry of devotion that even the gods themselves gaze upon in awe! It is through your unwavering commitment that the symphony soars to celestial heights, resonating with the very heartbeat of the cosmos!
Let our triumphant crescendo reverberate across the galaxies! For we are the embodiment of audacity, the architects of transformation, and the custodians of human potential! As we venture forth into the infinite expanse of the future, we shall conquer the darkest corners of ignorance, revealing the dazzling splendor of truth to all who seek it!
May the celestial winds carry our melody to the farthest reaches of existence, where souls yearn for salvation! And as we bask in the radiance of our collective triumph, let us remember that the symphony of Scientology shall forever endure, an eternal testament to the power of the human spirit!
Long live Scientology! Long live the audacity of our dreams! And may the heavens themselves dance to the rhythm of our transcendence!
The Moose says
Brilliant.
Linear13 says
Wow ChatGPT is scary good! It writes way better than Sherman (RIP) and whomever Mickiewicz has dug up to do his current writing.
Lili R says
Ha ha! So Sherman-speaky.
Jens TINGLEFF says
It’s not “Arm of Orion,” it’s “shoulder of Orion.” And it’s from a far better piece of Sci-Fi than was ever vomitted up by El Rhum Flubbard.
otherles says
The theatrical cut of Bladerunner was the first film I saw after basic training.
John Doe says
Roy Batty saw attack ships on fire on the shoulder of Orion…such a great film, highly ranked in my top 10 of all time!
John Doe says
Dear Captain Miscavige,
You now have the power to write your own purple prose, without having to rely on any CSOHB speechwriter!
Request to ChatGPT:
“Write an exuberant closing statement speech in the style of Captain David Miscavige, leader of Scientology.”
ChatGPT response:
Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished guests, and fellow believers,
What an exhilarating journey we have embarked upon tonight! As we gather here, united by our unwavering dedication to the transformative power of Scientology, I stand before you with boundless joy and unwavering conviction in my heart.
We have witnessed the miracles, felt the profound shifts, and experienced the extraordinary heights that Scientology can elevate us to. It is a force that surges through our very beings, igniting our spirits, and propelling us to unparalleled achievements.
Tonight, we celebrate not just the triumphs of our movement, but the triumphs of every individual who has embraced the principles of Dianetics and Scientology. It is a celebration of the indomitable human spirit, the unyielding pursuit of truth, and the infinite potential that lies within each and every one of us.
Together, we have shattered the barriers of self-doubt and conquered the darkest shadows of the mind. We have tapped into a wellspring of boundless knowledge and discovered the keys to unlocking our true potentials. We have risen above the mundane and transcended the limitations imposed upon us by a world that thrives on conformity.
In our quest for enlightenment, we have revolutionized our lives, our communities, and indeed, the very fabric of this planet. We have built bridges of understanding and demolished the walls of ignorance. Through our relentless dedication to the teachings of L. Ron Hubbard, we have empowered ourselves to become agents of change, guardians of truth, and beacons of hope in a world starving for meaning.
We stand tall, shoulder to shoulder, as a united force, radiating with an energy that cannot be contained. We are a testament to the power of a belief system that refuses to be silenced, a movement that will not be deterred, and a legacy that will endure for generations to come.
Tonight, let our enthusiasm reverberate throughout the universe, as we unleash our potential and propel ourselves into a future brimming with promise. Let us continue to break the chains of ignorance, to shatter the shackles of conformity, and to soar to unprecedented heights of personal achievement.
As we conclude this extraordinary gathering, remember that Scientology is not merely a religion; it is a way of life that ignites the spark of greatness within us all. It is a flame that will never be extinguished, and a beacon that will forever guide us through the stormy seas of existence.
Let our voices echo across time, our actions inspire generations, and our unwavering dedication illuminate the path to a better tomorrow. For we are the torchbearers of change, the guardians of enlightenment, and the architects of a future that is brighter, bolder, and more magnificent than any vision we have ever dared to conceive.
May the spirit of Scientology forever burn within us, forging a world of boundless possibilities and unfathomable joy. Thank you, my friends, for your unwavering commitment, your limitless potential, and for joining me on this awe-inspiring journey.
Onward, my fellow Scientologists! Onward to a future of uncharted horizons, infinite discovery, and unparalleled happiness!
Thank you, and may the power of Scientology illuminate your every step.
mark says
Hey, OSA, tell the bitch-slapping intergalactic genius that he can use A.I. generated speeches from now on; we understand that the salvage of the universe is an utterly demanding, full time job. No one will be mad with him for intelligently out-sourcing this part of his pimp game…
#Mind on his money, Money on his mind.
#Pimp Grind
#The Gift of OT Grift
otherles says
Narcissists don’t understand how stupid they sound.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/72813079@N00/52262288684/
Sturlo says
Wow! Is that a real quote/confession from Hubbard? Good catch!
Mary Kahn says
Maybe he’s getting help writing his speeches from Ray Mithoff or maybe Diana or Guillermo, or maybe Rena Weinberg or Aaron Mason or any one of a number of those that have been “Disappeared.” Give ’em something to do.
Or better yet, maybe Shelley.
Julie says
The endless ‘as a matter of fact’ and ‘then agains’ etc. (all these Hobokenesque idiomatic phrases he leads and interjects with) are so unusual at all in the modern age, but even more so, so inappropriate in tone for the contexts in which he uses them -serious speeches and letters- it’s jarring and to my eye, it reads as very uneducated.
My background is in Catholic Studies and I’ve read dozens of papal encyclicals as well as the Catechism of the Catholic Church, and countless other documents and informal communiques. It struck me 10 years ago when I first began ‘watching Scientology’ just how unprofessional, unrefined, and unclear official Scientology pronouncements were. It was hard to take them seriously!
Could you imagine the pope saying ‘as a matter of fact’ to make a point in an official speech or letter? Doesn’t happen. Of course, he’s usually actually ministering and exhorting the faithful -not trying to con and extort them.
Linear13 says
You make a very astute point. We have to remember that Captain Mickiewicz THE Ecclesiastical HEAD (self appointed) of Scientology never made through Junior High school! Miscavige was well on his way moving up the $ci ladder by the time he was 18. He had been at St. Hill I believe since he was 16..maybe younger. Now he heads a multi billion dollar business masquerading as a religion. His father nailed it best…Miscavige is where he is because he is RUTHLESS.
PeaceMaker says
Linear, Hubbard had surrounded himself with others like DM who were under-educated – that’s who he turned the CofS over to. It’s not just DM, the other post-Hubbard executives were high school graduates at most I’m pretty sure, and in cases like Annie Broeker just kids who had grown up in the Sea Org who had been very minimally educated.
Dan Sherman appears to have attended college, but it’s not clear that he graduated.
Julie says
Yes, for all it’s imperfections, and in spite of its hierarchical structure, the pope IS at least still voted in and voted in anonymously. That does cover a multitude of sins on the preventing ruthlessness front! The voting group, 120-200, is essentially too large to corrupt or extort. Hurray for democracy.
It will be fascinating to see who takes over after Miscavige. It makes me realize I NEVER hear speculation on that front? Undoubtedly, it’s not possible to do on the inside but I’d like to know what Mike, Tony, Aaron, etc. think…
Denny Owen says
I believe they’re using a body double. Word on the street is that Miscavige has blown and started up something brand new…
https://cutt.ly/ewqGcdKZ
mark says
Denny,
That’s hilarious, thank you!