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Thursday Funnies

By 38 Comments

 

Still quoting this from 1965…

Obviously, every child born before 1965 made their 16th birthday unless some illness or accident intervened. The world did NOT end in 1981…

But this is still absolute truth.

 

There is no way to disseminate scientology successfully

Unless the person is a child or has no access to Google. End of story.

 

The real question is…

How long will you be able to hack it?

 

Class VIII auditor?

There’s no such thing any more in this “Golden Age of Tech.”

And she has done KTL and LOC — I bet her briefing doesn’t focus on those services… (for those who don’t know, they are no longer available)

 

They still have “Shutterstock” plastered across their image?

Maybe the person who did this needs to get off drugs…

 

Selling immortality…

I thought we were immortal whether we attended this seminar or not? Didn’t Ron say so?

And how DOES an OT “fall prey” to lesser beings? Not a one of them can deal with ANY SP in their vicinity…

 

Wrong order of magnitude…

A few kids picking up trash is a good thing.

It’s NOT going to make any impression at all on the beauty, cleanliness or safety of Hollywood.

A thousand people might make a small mark.

 

Holidays at Ron’s place

Funny, this is preserved because it’s where he wrote Dianetics.

Shouldn’t their party be for May 9th (“Dianetics Day”) or March 13th (Hubbard’s birthday”)?

 

Come to our health spa…

Not really, we just try to make it seem that way.

 

Following the traditional role of churches everywhere…

That’s a nice thought.

Will you ever do that?  A Thanksgiving dinner for the needy perhaps?

 

More Christmas Celebrations

For the people who don’t believe in Christ, but want to try to appear “normal.”

 

You have to be early to get a seat…

Sure.

The ultimate non-event.

 

 

I’m the Public Executive Secretary…

And I don’t get paid enough to survive

 

Paul and Ringo approve…

They love to promote scientology.

Not really.

John is turning in his grave.

 

Damning with Faint Praise

This is the best “success” you could muster?

 

Not by attending this seminar

Scientology has not had a “new” celebrity “discovered” in decades.

 

Flag has a monkey

You can shake hands with him.

And a bouncy house.

If THIS doesn’t persuade you to watch scientologyTV nothing will.

 

Scientology is going into the immigration business?

Actually, they are already big in this field, bringing lots of people into the US under false pretenses that they are “students” or “religious workers.”

Apart from children, this is the only real source of new people…

 

This is LA Org, not Narconon?

 

Not much of an advertisement for Flag

My sister’s husband is at Flag but he got too sick to watch their child…

 

My wife does my promo for me…

 

Seriously Scary Haunted House

EVERYONE is dressed as a Reg…

 

Chicago is rocking CF now

Wonder what has taken them so long to get started?

I thought everything was supposed to be “simultaneous” now?

 

Just weird

Don’t even know if this place is actually a Sea Org facility like the hotels in LA or some enterprising scientologist trying to make a buck.

Whoever it is, their “study tech” is out…

And who takes 10 minutes to walk 500m?

Comments

  1. The picture under the heading: “my wife does my promo”, makes me wonder which of those 2 guys is the Tom Cruise obsession guy fromRegraded Being cartoon strip?

    Reply

  2. The picture under the heading: “my wife does my promo”, makes me wonder which of those 2 guys is the Tom Cruise obsession guy fro Regraded Being cartoon strip?

    Reply

  3. What’s really mind-blowing about the cult promo is how clearly it reflects the founder’s sociopathic fixation on having his master race( homo novi ), doomsday cult/ international crime syndicate APPEAR to be normal and mainstream and invested in
    social uplift and spiritual succor. You can see the wheels of these abused, overworked, barely literate cult weasels’ minds turning: HMMM, IF WE SPIN IT THIS WAY OR COAT IT THAT WAY OR HIDE IT UNDER THIS OR ALIGN IT WITH THAT, THOSE DEGRADED MEAT-SACKS WILL TAKE THE BAIT AND FLOOD INTO THE ORGS! It’s always about lying and spinning and capering and bullshitting with these folks, cuz, finally, they are just trying, doggedly, to sell pieces of blue sky!

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  4. Very HYPOTHETICAL, but if 100 outsiders showed up for the Beatlemania show would they be –
    – turned away?
    – charged a cover fee?
    – made to register, before being allowed in?

    Otherwise, it looks like for a Coke, a few sausage pinwheels and a little entertainment you get to play pa$$ the pen. Who signs up for that?

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  5. Another full time married staff couple I knew had a baby and the mother could not, or would not, quit smoking. I’m not sure whether she smoked while pregnant. She worked full time on staff during her pregnancy. They lived shacked up in some rental, where they couldn’t pay the rent and got kicked out either shortly before or shortly after – I forget which – the birth of the baby. She did have a horror of gaining weight. She smoked not only because she was addicted but because it killed her appetite and kept her very slim. When the baby was born she was still puffing away and couldn’t or wouldn’t breast feed, and they either couldn’t afford decent formula for the infant and/or were totally hooked on Scn Koolaid so they fed the infant Hubbard’s barley formula. That infant was sickly from birth, from Day One – severe asthma and several allergies, constantly crying, not sleeping,more often than not keeping the parents awake at night, both of whom worked full time on staff and of course made no money. His parents supported them. And they were not young 20-somethings, btw. Try 45 years old. And that’s how they lived. As for the baby, helicoptered over from birth, his upbringing an unhealthy combination of too much attention and amazing neglect grew up GLUED to his parents, his upbringing having beena strange combination of over-attention and neglect – sorry to say it this way but sickly, whining, spoiled and altogether annoying little person. Nevertheless I always felt pity as, from conception onward the child never really had a chance, Very sad. Some people just should not have children, IMO, and Scientology staff members top that list.

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    • Aqua, I agree with you what a heartbreaking and preventable thing this was for this poor kid. It brought up memories for me. Scientists say as your baby passes through your birth canal, it ingests bacteria that contributes to its gut health and boosts its immune system. Although a baby’s microbiome – or collection of microbes – begins to form in the womb, vaginal delivery is an essential part of the process. And this helps the baby throughout its life to ward off illness and be healthy. And of course breastfeeding is the best thing for the baby too as important antibodies are passed from mother to child and it helps prevent asthma and other things with the baby and has benefits for mom too. I say all this to introduce my Kool Aid story:

      Some well known semi whale Scns and I were talking back when my baby was new. She also gave birth around that time and we were comparing notes as parents. Both the husband and wife were aghast that I had a natural vaginal delivery. She proudly said, “I had a C Section.” She made me wrong for not having a C Section instead. She said, “well you’ve read Dianetics, and you know about how the baby gets a birth engram coming through the birth canal, how could you be so mean to your baby?” OMG. I had read all the Science about birth and breastfeeding and knew that my method was correct and hers was wrong if the C Section was not done for a medical reason. But I held my tongue and let them berate me for this because I knew if I tried to defend a vaginal birth that I’d have a KR written on me quicker than I could blink an eye. Their know best and arrogant attitude rankled me. But that is what happens when you drink the Kool Aid

      Reply

      • Cindy, I’m so glad you held your ground and let these idiots spout off. I have never given birth but common sense tells me that untold centuries of vaginal births and billions of babies being fed from the breast as all mammals are, populated an entire planet with human beings, and that Mother Nature’s method, except in certain medical instances, tops the cult and Hubbard’s know best!

        Reply

  6. Omg! They got a monkey! And a jumping house! Well hell , now I gotta go see that! Hope I can get as ba loon too)))?

    Reply

  7. There it is again – Scientologists going around picking up trash. Someone here please clue me in: is Hollywood, overall, a bad neighborhood, or, as cultists would say, a “downstat” area? Or, does H’wood consist of “upstat” sections (the film studios) and “downstat” seedy sections filled with bums or homeless people where trash is not picked up as it should be?

    Reply

  8. Deadline earth! I remember that talk. I had a baby in 1976 and was terrified for his future. I always wondered if this group was built on affinity, reality and communication where was it? Why was there no ARC in the building? Balls to the wall, produce and leave your baby alone 8-15! hours a day. They still don’t care about babies!

    Reply

  11. Mike, I thank you for giving us all the opportunity to rehash, align, vent, or just chuckle while reading or commenting on your blog.

    To my great benefit that issue of Auditor (July 1965) was still being discussed in early 1967 when I got on lines. The LA Org staff were going on and on about only 5 years left unless they ‘made a difference’. I logged the fact mentally and always kept some distance from them, knowing the potential of scientology becoming a doomsday cult. I now see that Hubbard was constantly and franticaly trying to keep the light turned on himself. DM, on the flip side, has always been in hiding.

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    • @tommy J Bwahahahaha So true. Slackers. I guess they have had to go to a part time schedule so people can get paying jobs to support themselves in the leftover time.

      Reply

  13. Seriously Scary Haunted House!!!

    EVERYONE is dressed as a Reg? That would scare the shit out of me! Just thinking about Regges freaks me out!

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  15. A “Ladies’ Auxiliary” is so 20th century – but then again, that’s Scientology. I assume they are trying to imitate real churches, but apparently their ideas are ridiculously outdated.

    And of course there’s a grammatical error in the Spanish on that one flyer – Scientology is dependably semi-literate whatever the language.

    On the one hand, it’s hard to believe that Flag itself doesn’t help make arrangements when someone needs a babysitter – that’s something high-end hotels and resorts typically do, for instance. On the other hand, their idea of service seems to be limited to vacuuming up money and forcing people to just eliminate any distractions; a 4-month old is presumably too young for even Scientology to declare an SP, though come to think of if the husband who got sick could be seen as a source of trouble….

    Reply

    • What I’m wondering is if she got rid of the husband i.e. sent him home or to another hotel since his sickness is seen as PTS. She is at Flag after all and there is no way she can do her auditing and have a PTS sick husband around. They may even have him in auditing somewhere else to find out who or what his PTS is.

      Reply

  16. Loved the “commodore’s” quote today. He may be wrong as usual, he may be speaking out of his ass (or off his ass on whatever drugs he was on that day), but he does so with great sound and fury.

    It’s not pointed out very often but it’s amazing how well scientology fits the category of doomsday cults. I.e. organizations that tell their adherents that some Armageddon or other is right around the corner. This makes prospects very pliable as the cult is usually the only answer to navigate the coming doom. It also makes them less concerned about their own self-care; if the end is near, one might as well give up their entire finances, labor and self-determination for that cult.

    This theme continues to play big with scientology to this day. Every fundraiser is a “last chance” to salvage something or other for the whole planet. Kind of boring if one considers that there is not a single instance where either the promised doom materialized or even less, where scientology ever provided an effective remedy to any calamity real or even just imagined.

    Reply

    • Most doomsday cults that prophesy an apocalypse which does not come to pass then celebrate this as a ‘close call’ that was prevented by their steadfast resolve and proof that their religion is working.

      Reply

  17. That poor 4-month old baby.

    PS if the husband is sick, per scientology teachings, just what did he go PTS to? Being at Flag?

    And why aren’t they focusing on fixing the sick husband, not making sure the mom continues leaving her 4-month old alone for 8-10 hours a day. Oh wait, I forgot, scientology.

    If only they understood how amazingly callous that entire post looks to everyone who is not a scientologist on so many levels.

    Reply

    • I recall many years back a staff member bringing her 6 month old baby girl to the org every day. She was one of the execs and she smoked – all the staff did back then but she chain smoked in her small office at her desk with the baby’s crib on her immediate right, forcing the infant to breath that in from morning until she left at 10PM at night. She’d summon the other staff to see her and they would smoke too. That poor kid!

      Reply

  18. “How does an OT fall prey to smaller beings?” By talking to them because when reality smacks you in the face, you pay attention.

    R6 implant party??? Christ on a cracker, What other holiday can they leach off of? Oh, one of the parities is on December 7th. What else happened on Dec 7??

    Monkey business?? Ok at least it not a chimp that can rip you face off. Still, who can throw their shit farther?? A monkey or a Reg?

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  19. “From Purification Rundown through to OT XV”
    Found it! SHE has the long-lost materials! Oh the years wasted following Pat around when Char Shipman is the one with all the answers! 😂

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  20. Char is going to talk about Purification R/D through OT XV?! I hope DM is busy pulling OT IX – XV out of his rear end. LOL

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    • Wynski,

      Regardless who’s ass those levels spill from it’ll still be the same stench and substance that has spewed forth since the beginning of this cult. The nose knows.

      Glenn

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    • Wynski. U r obviously not up with the latest data . Shelly Miscavige has been feverishly working on OT 1X & OT X since 2005 with a short break in 2007 to attend her fathers funeral. Her loving husband David is too busy opening new churches all around the world as he is ecclesiastical leader of the fastest growing religion on the planet . The planet will be cleared soon!!!!

      Reply

      • Ha ha ha! Her “loving husband David” has been “too busy” getting it on with his Communicator With Benefits, Mrs. Stuckenbrock.

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  21. I’m half tempted to send anonymous texts to that lady telling her not to abandon her 4 month old for 8-10 hours a day. What tha actual f*ck?? But then I remember back to when my parents were in the sea org back in big blue and my brother and I were left alone for 8-10 hours a day. Be a mom, lady. If your work as a “contemporary artist” is so important, maybe focus on that, your sick husband and your newborn who needs its mother.

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    • Heartbreaking. This is the most disturbing post on the blog today. No words. Please send the texts of at all possible. No doubt mom’s instincts are to be with the baby. Hope dad feels well enough to get them out.

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  22. “A handful of us are working our guts out to beat Deadline Earth. “We’re making the most that we can out of that chance?”

    WTH??

    You know, a 16 hour work day is not really equivalent to “working our guts out”. Certainly not when you consider how long so many S.O. members are working every day …… scraping paint, moving stones, pounding rocks with hammers and all kinds of degrading and dehumanizing physical labor.

    Where oh where do they ever get the nerve to pretend that no one works as long or as hard as they do?

    These people certainly are deluded?? …… degraded?? …… duped?? …… hornswaggled?? …… befuddled?? …… well, certainly confused or maybe confuzzled??

    They certainly do seem to be some of the strangest people I’ve ever imagined. If I knew more about mind-altering drugs, I think that I might have a stronger opinion as to what is going on with these folks.

    Something is certainly “off-base” and that’s for sure!

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  23. I was wondering how close the timing was between Miscavige being legally served and the end of the “doing it all simultaneously” stuff. From my vantage point, it looked instantaneous. But I’m not sure I know the exact date of either.

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  24. “Beating Deadline Earth.” Well, one of these days Hubbard will be right. Then he can come back to this hell hole and say, “See, I told you.”

    Reply

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