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Thursday Funnies

June 18, 2015 By Mike Rinder 95 Comments

einstein_laughing

 

European suckers…

I guess they don’t have enough suckers in the UK to go build a building for free. So they are asking Europeans to do it…

Surely a couple of billion dollars is enough to hire some contractors to pour the foundations for an “ideal St Hill”?

EUUK

 

 

Embarrassed much?

Do you wonder if any of these people have even the slightest guilty conscience to know that they are being lauded as “humanitarians” or “civilization builders” and they only paid half as much as everyone else? Wonder how they answer the OCA question about seeing something with the wrong price on it….

STATUS

 

 

The false claims keep rolling…

Now the Purif will cure your mesothelioma as well as the destruction wreaked by detergents and processed foods….

Funny, the church always claims they don’t do physical, it’s all spiritual. Seems to have been forgotten at the idealiest of ideal orgs.

PURIF

 

 

What does it take?

Your money.

MM

 

 

Scientology Capital of the World

And they can’t get Valley Org fundraiding done….

LA OTC

 

 

Food, glorious food…

Nothing better than an IAS Mexican Feast.

IAS

 

 

Best ever again

Must have been something if they are doing it all over…. but adding Stacy Francis this time. Now its the bestest best ever.

GOLD

 

 

Moneywinds

Still pushing everyone to make money so they can give it to them….

FW MONEY

 

 

Flag World Tour

Not one, but TWO video tours of the BUILDINGS.

FLAG

 

 

The countdown

It’s all over, 13 June came and went. Another “final countdown” has come and gone. And another big fat zero at the end of it.
COUNTDOWN

 

 

Really?

And all these original messengers are now gone. The last of them was Shelly Miscavige.

And speaking of the Senior CS Office — how is it that the Snr CS International has not been sighted at all throughout the entire Golden Age of Tech? And there is no LRH PPRO International either.

The only thing the CMO does currently is serve “COB.” This is all a shore story.
CMO

Can You Stand The Truth?

Clearly he cannot.
CHAN1

WISE guy

This guy is exactly what WISE was created for. The shore story was that it was to get LRH admin tech into society (an abject failure), the real reason as stated by L. Ron Hubbard was to get scientologist businessmen and FSMs “off the backs of orgs” and parasiting on their public. Exhibit 1: Michael Chan

CHAN

 

WISE Guy Exhibit 2

Now he is just a “field auditor” with no classification given at all…

BTR LIFE

 

Mystery donor?

How lame is this.

ALBQ2

 

 

The one and only…

Seems to be the only person on the Albuquerque bandwagon…

ALBQ

 

 

 

Birmingham Follies

Apparently jumping on board the tremendously successful actions of the lone scientology church in Scotland — Birmingham is vying for the title of most non sequitur fundraiding effort, and they are off to a roaring start.

You should hand over your money to put an ideal org in Birmingham because…. JRR Tolkein spent his childhood there and it has more canals than Venice?

 

Screenshot (20)Screenshot (19)

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: David Miscavige, Flag Service Organization, fundraising, Ideal Orgs, Super Power

Comments

  1. Ann B Watson says

    June 19, 2015 at 10:03 am

    Hi Espiando, Your recent post is very important.I went through a period where I still had a tiny bit of starry eyed mind set, that because Ron didn’t personally beat me etc,then there must be some humanity there.I was still hypnotized but denied it.Now knowing all about “his” letters etc I agree with youn100% He was a beast & very nasty.David may wear a suit & drive fancy cars & throw his ill gotten cash @ the stars,but he is cut from the same cloth.Take Care Ann B.

    Reply
    • Espiando says

      June 19, 2015 at 1:26 pm

      Ann, for a group that has supposedly mastered Confront, they do tend to run and hide when the subject of Hubbard is brought up. They know, subconsciously, that if one successful pierce in the mental armor surrounding views of Hubbard is made, the whole structure falls apart. Hence, people defending the indefensible, like young Rhinoplast up there.

      Reply
  2. rivercs says

    June 19, 2015 at 9:20 am

    I’m a never-in and have a few questions about the Purif. I looked at that list and have exposure to just about everything on it, especially prescription drugs. Does the Co$ make you stop all prescription drugs? What about drugs that are required to preserve life, such as heart medicine, insulin, or the immunosuppressants those of us with transplants need?

    Not that I want or have ever had any interest in joining the Co$. If I ever did, I’d talk to the Indies, not the Orgs. I’m just curious about what they do about people who absolutely require prescription drugs to remain alive.

    Reply
    • Ann B Watson says

      June 19, 2015 at 10:12 am

      Hi rivercs, Good to meet you.Perhaps a blogger with more knowledge on your question than me can jump in.I feel the person on meds would be told to do the Purification Rundown over & over in my day it was The Drug Rundown or Sweat Program & boy did I sweat.Also pay big bucks for tons of auditing.Because as a big being one is at cause over the body,so no Drs or drugs needed.And if you get cancer as I have that would be my fault I had suppressive thoughts about cos & Ron that caused it.Scary isn’t it? Take Care Ann B.

      Reply
    • LHS says

      June 19, 2015 at 10:51 am

      Ask Tory Christman. She had several serious epileptic seizures because the Scientologists thought she should handle the condition with vitamins instead of prescription drugs.

      Reply
    • Cre8tivewmn says

      June 19, 2015 at 12:11 pm

      All drugs. Check out ToryMagoo44’s videos on YouTube about her fight over anti-seizure meds.

      Reply
  3. John says

    June 18, 2015 at 11:30 pm

    How about getting a couple of those billboard trucks, you’ve seen them….basically a truck towing a couple of billboards around town advertising this and that, get a couple of those trucks circling the block at the events, with “SEA ORG HELPLINE – 1-866-1111”, or “IT’S OK TO LEAVE” or “WHERE’S SHELLY?”, or whatever. I’d sure kick in a couple of bucks for that.

    Reply
  4. Beryl says

    June 18, 2015 at 9:57 pm

    Move up in status by giving a lot and getting nothing in return. Somehow they make this rip off sound like a good thing. Not.

    Reply
  5. valhalkarie says

    June 18, 2015 at 9:44 pm

    Umm,how can’t anyone see,I mean I would think imedietly no matter how warped I was,this hounding for donations that will be matched half way by a mystery donor is obviously just a ploy,no ones matching shit,it’s the status makers faking it like the federal reserve does with all the Loans they hand out with money that generates out of thin air,this status con is a faith based system just like the FED! Lol,silly heads!

    Reply
  6. Graham says

    June 18, 2015 at 6:11 pm

    “I guess they don’t have enough suckers in the UK to go build a building for free.”

    Aint that the truth. Back in 2011 there were 2 418 Scientologists according to that year’s England & Wales Census. How many of those were Independents? How many of them left following the Debbie Cooke e-mail which was published immediately afterwards? When you’re outnumbered 71:1 by Jedi you know you’re all but defunct.

    Reply
    • Nickname says

      June 18, 2015 at 6:37 pm

      Graham – I like the Jedi. Watch – the Co$ will start using them in promo pieces. And Miscavige will appear at MV in a 3-D hologram.

      Reply
  7. Roger Hornaday says

    June 18, 2015 at 4:36 pm

    May I speak candidly? All I can say about this “Million Match” strategy is,

    “THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD!”

    Now we’re going to have the riff-raff Alumni upwardly mobile and thinking they’re social equals with the Humanitarians just because they have a certificate which they only paid HALF for! Not only that but they’ll probably want to attest to the FULL AMOUNT of case gain! Some scientologists just don’t know their place.

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      June 18, 2015 at 6:05 pm

      Very valid points, Roger H. What you’ve described is nothing less than Social Status Injustice. Fortunately, COB, the wise and just, has an effective handling coming down the pike, from KCET Studios, no less, for just such ARC-broken Scientologists. Anyone with a beef will be featured on “Real Humanitarians of ____Org”. There’ll be people like Elena Gavone and Denise Tuff with 4 inch nails and 10 inch miniskirts snarling, flipping tables -grand stuff.

      Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      June 18, 2015 at 6:19 pm

      Roger, of course you were jesting, but seriously, what you’ve outlined here COULD prove to be a real problem for the K/As. To appease those who really EARNED their status “the old fashioned way”, by paying full price, they may have to designate them as “Founding” Humanitarians” as opposed to the 1/2 price parvenus.

      Reply
  8. Aquamarine says

    June 18, 2015 at 4:11 pm

    “Pick your poison.”

    Well, OK, OSA, but its not body poison.

    It is something that poisons the soul, called, “Scientology’s Lies and False Promises”.

    And we here on this blog are effectively sweating them out.

    Reply
  9. Aquamarine says

    June 18, 2015 at 3:56 pm

    “Some parts of the project requires construction from zero”.

    No native of the UK wrote that sentence.

    Reply
  10. Aquamarine says

    June 18, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    “Teams from all over the EU and UK territory are waiting for you”.

    I’ll bet.

    With their fingers curled and their tongues hanging out.

    I shivered a little, reading that.

    The A/C must be too high in here.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      June 18, 2015 at 5:09 pm

      I threw up….

      Reply
  11. Anonn says

    June 18, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    I’m close with an original Messenger from LRH’s office from the 70’s. I happen to not be a “tech hater” but anyone who says that DM started the “crazy stuff” of Scn, certainly wasn’t around back then.

    I find it interesting that everyone I meet who was close with LRH himself kind of likes the guy. But that doesn’t negate the atrocities that happened. And if you have ever met a messenger of those times (pre-DM), you’ll think twice about anything signed with LRH’s signature…

    Reply
    • Ann B Watson says

      June 18, 2015 at 4:51 pm

      Hi Anon,It is good to meet you.Don’t get me wrong in the SO @ Asho F I loved Ron. But the love I thought was because I had “come back ” to be on hie team again nearly killed me.When he was backed into a corner over any little out point or whatever was on his mind that day,he would order a fight to the death if he did not get his own way.And as those on this blog are probably sick of hearing, only a few days ago I threw out the last letters I held onto for 40+ years from Ron.Why did I hold onto,them for so long? Because I had been sold a bill of goods so so strongly I had tranced myself into believing he wrote all the hundreds of letters from the SO1 line.The best data the GOI ever had to try & break me came from that SO line.Ann how stupid could you be!!Take Care Ann B.

      Reply
      • Ann B Watson says

        June 18, 2015 at 8:45 pm

        Hi Mike,You know me when I feel something I put it out there, My second day after I joined the SO I went to the coffee shop @ Hollywood & Highland to get a coffee.Part of my heritage was old Hollywood so I was really happy to be there ,but when I went to get my coffee there was a 911 call & when I looked to the booth next to me there was a young man dead I guess an overdose The first time I saw a dead body. I felt really sad & strange but I had joined the SO so he was a wog & that was his fate.The second night I was at the Hollywood Inn I was berthed with 4 ladies from FOLO & one kept going on about how she was going to sell squrrel tech & make a lot of money for herself.So of course the next day I went to Qual & originated what she had said & the Ethics Officer @ the time told me I had to go to Bev Hills & stop this big doner from killing herself or calling the police.So,I did that myself all night & it was really tough.The terminal who told me to go,& prove that a stupid person who only read Dianetics & joined the SO actually realized I meant what I said.We loved each other but it was not to be.As in the military if you have a relationship between an Officer & someone who is not that is not accepted.So I really had myself up to the neck in hot water.This blog has allowed me to put everything out there for y’all to see. You have really saved my life & I am no longer afraid to tell the truth. Warts & all I thank you all for helping me & believing me.Always Ann B.

        Reply
    • Nickname says

      June 18, 2015 at 5:33 pm

      Anonn –

      https://www.mikerindersblog.org/valley-otc-bs/#comment-92191

      Technology is one thing. What is done with it is another. Why is it that no one will argue against that, except when it comes to Scientology? Hubbard was herding cats. You listen to the lectures and the tech points are made VERY clear, examples given, then the tech points are repeated – usually one per lecture, one at a time, to keep it clear. And still auditors got it wrong. So he gave another lecture, wrote another HCOB. And still, auditors got it wrong. It isn’t that he didn’t know what he was talking about, or that he didn’t communicate it clearly. It is that he ended up dealing with the unforeseen: you tell someone an apple is not an orange, and it has to do with a picnic, and they’re fine with that; but when you tell them it has to do with eternity, all of sudden they’ve got questions about how to tell them apart because orange is close to red on the spectrum, and they’re about the same size and shape, they weigh about the same, they’re not far apart in grocery stores, often arrive on the same truck, and are in very similar boxes, both grow on trees … so how can you be sure an apple is an apple and not an orange? Putting up with that is enough, day after day, to drive anyone nuts. Try it with a doctor: hand him a bone chisel when he asked for a bone cutter and see how long it is before you’re allowed near an operating room again (if you can find where your head landed after he took it off for you). Try serving salmon when steak was ordered. Try buying 100 shares of Microsoft when the order was for 1,000. Try telling air traffic control you’re at 3,000 feet when you’re at 1,500. But when it comes to Hubbard, oh no – it’s not anyone else at fault!! No one made mistakes but him!! That’s about on the same level as blaming a surgeon because the patient checked out in good health again, but walked in front of a truck the next day.

      What “atrocities” are you referring to? The worst I see is a collective atrocity.

      Reply
      • Espiando says

        June 18, 2015 at 7:36 pm

        You want atrocities? How about the recommendation of genocide for those under 2.0 on the Tone Scale, including all LGBTs, six years after the concentration camps were liberated? If given the opportunity, he would have had it done.

        To me, any Indie who still believes in the Tone Scale and in KSW, like you, is the equivalent of Adolf Eichmann. And I’m happy to play the role of Simon Wiesenthal.

        Reply
      • Alanzo says

        June 20, 2015 at 2:55 pm

        Hi Nickname –

        It’s been a long time since I’ve seen arguments like yours presented on the Internet.

        I applaud your social courage in coming here and letting your views as a Scientologist be known.

        I have compiled some of the writings from L Ron Hubbard which, when applied exactly as written, and in the context in which L Ron Hubbard intended them, produce the fanaticism, criminality and abuse that we see in Scientology today.

        I invite you to examine these statements in a new unit of time, without fear or favor, and ask yourself if you really believe that the writer of these statements had constructive intent towards his fellow man.

        “If you have a hard time invading people’s “privacy,” you’ll have a hard time 8-Cing them into a Book One co-audit 4 or any other Div 6 course,5 because you think the reactive mind has rights. No! It does not have any rights. What has rights? That machinery? Those dramatizations? Those computing circuits? Those things have rights? The next thing you know we’ll have laws out saying reactive minds have a perfect right to kill everybody”.
        L. Ron Hubbard, “8-C and Circuits” Taped Lecture

        “Never fear to hurt another in a just cause.”
        L Ron Hubbard, “The Code of Honor” Scientology 0-8

        “It is also part of this that I have concluded man cannot be trusted with justice.”
        L. Ron Hubbard, HCO PL 6 Oct 70 III “Ethics Penalties”

        “As an executive you get compliance because you have ethics presence and persistence and can get mad.”
        L RON HUBBARD, HCO POLICY LETTER OF 4 OCTOBER 1968 Issue II “ETHICS PRESENCE”

        “Men will keep the accounts straight only because you can muster bayonets to enforce that they do.”
        L RON HUBBARD, HCO POLICY LETTER OF 4 OCTOBER 1968 Issue II “ETHICS PRESENCE”

        “MAKE THE PENALTIES FOR NONCOMPLIANCE AND FALSE REPORTS TOO GRUESOME TO BE FACED AND ENFORCE THEM.”
        L RON HUBBARD, HCO Policy Letter 5 January 1968, “Overfilled In-Basket, Bad News”

        “People have following the route mixed up with “the right to have their own ideas.” Anyone is certainly entitled to have opinions and ideas and cognitions-so long as these do not bar the route out for self and others.“
        L RON HUBBARD, 14 FEBRUARY 1965 “SAFEGUARDING TECHNOLOGY”

        “In fifty thousand years of history on this planet alone, Man never evolved a workable system. It is doubtful if, in foreseeable history, he will ever evolve another. Man is caught in a huge and complex labyrinth. To get out of it requires that he follow the closely taped path of Scientology.”
        L RON HUBBARD, HCOPL 14 FEBRUARY 1965 “SAFEGUARDING TECHNOLOGY”

        “We’re not playing some minor game in Scientology. It isn’t cute or something to do for lack of something better.’

        “The whole agonized future of this planet, every Man, Woman and Child on it, and your own destiny for the next endless trillions of years depend on what you do here and now with and in Scientology.’

        “This is a deadly serious activity. And if we miss getting out of the trap now, we may never again have another chance.”

        ‘Remember, this is our first chance to do so in all the endless trillions of years of the past. Don’t muff it now because it seems unpleasant or unsocial to do Seven, Eight, Nine and Ten.’
        L RON HUBBARD, HCOPL 7 FEBRUARY 1965 “KEEPING SCIENTOLOGY WORKING”

        “We’ll survive because we are tough and are dedicated. When we do instruct somebody properly he becomes more and more tiger. When we instruct half-mindedly and are afraid to offend, scared to enforce, we don’t make students into good Scientologists and that lets everybody down. When Mrs. Pattycake comes to us to be taught, turn that wandering doubt in her eye into a fixed, dedicated glare and she’ll win and we’ll all win. Humor her and we all die a little. The proper instruction attitude is, “You’re here so you’re a Scientologist. Now we’re going to make you into an expert auditor no matter what happens. We’d rather have you dead than incapable.”
        L RON HUBBARD, HCOPL 7 FEBRUARY 1965 “KEEPING SCIENTOLOGY WORKING”

        “When somebody enrols, consider he or she has joined up for the duration of the universe — never permit an “open- minded” approach. If they’re going to quit let them quit fast. If they enrolled, they’re aboard, and if they’re aboard, they’re here on the same terms as the rest of us — win or die in the attempt. Never let them be half-minded about being Scientologists.”
        L RON HUBBARD, HCOPLE 7 FEBRUARY 1965 “KEEPING SCIENTOLOGY WORKING”

        “The common denominator of a group is the reactive bank. Thetans without banks have different responses. They only have their banks in common. They agree then only on bank principles. Person to person the bank is identical. So constructive ideas are individual and seldom get broad agreement in a human group.”
        L RON HUBBARD, HCOPL 7 FEBRUARY 1965 “KEEPING SCIENTOLOGY WORKING”

        “We will not speculate here on why this was so or how I came to rise above the bank. We are dealing only in facts and the above is a fact — the group left to its own devices would not have evolved Scientology but with wild dramatization of the bank called “new ideas” would have wiped it out. Supporting this is the fact that Man has never before evolved workable mental technology and emphasizing it is the vicious technology he did evolve — psychiatry, psychology, surgery, shock treatment, whips, duress, punishment, etc, ad infinitum.

        “So realize that we have climbed out of the mud by whatever good luck and good sense, and refuse to sink back into it again. See that Seven, Eight, Nine and Ten above are ruthlessly followed and we will never be stopped. Relax them, get reasonable about it and we will perish.”
        L Ron Hubbard, HCOPL 7 February 1965 “KEEPING SCIENTOLOGY WORKING”

        “Auditor B: “That Process X didn’t work.” Instructor A: “What exactly did you do wrong?” Instant attack.
        L Ron Hubbard, HCOPL 7 February 1965 “KEEPING SCIENTOLOGY WORKING”

        “People leave because of their own overts and withholds. That is the factual fact and the hard-bound rule. A man with a clean heart can’t be hurt. The man or woman who must must must become a victim and depart is departing because of his or her own overts and withholds. It doesn’t matter whether the person is departing from a town or a job or a session. The cause is the same.”
        L Ron Hubbard, HCO BULLETIN “BLOW-OFFS” 31 DECEMBER 1959R

        “You are only three or four hours from taking your glasses off for keeps.”
        L. Ron Hubbard, “Eyesight and glasses,”, Dianetic Auditor’s Bulletin, Vol. 2, No. 7, January 1952

        “The alleviation of the condition of insanity has also been accomplished now…”
        L. Ron Hubbard, Hubbard Communications Office Bulletin, November 1970, “Psychosis”

        “Scientology is the only specific (cure) for radiation (atomic bomb) burns.”
        L. Ron Hubbard, ALL ABOUT RADIATION, p. 109

        “Arthritis vanishes, myopia gets better, heart illness decreases, asthma disappears, stomachs function properly and the whole catalogue of illnesses goes away and stays away.” L. Ron Hubbard, DIANETICS: THE MODERN SCIENCE OF MENTAL HEALTH, 1987 Ed., p. 72

        Are these claims really true, in your experience as a Scientologist?

        If someone accepted these claims, and these statements, and internalized them without inspection, do you believe that they would become an abusive fanatic?

        I have many more where these came from, and I’ll bet that if you let yourself see Hubbard’s writings from this viewpoint, you could contribute a few quotes from Hubbard yourself.

        It’s not just Scientologists making mistakes that are causing the problems in Scientology. The fanaticism, criminality and abuse in comes from Scientologists doing their very best to apply Scientology to the letter – 100% standardly exactly as Ron said – that are causing the problems we see in Scientology today.

        Again, I applaud your courage and integrity in coming here and voicing your opinion.

        What do you have to say to these?

        Alanzo

        Reply
  12. Cre8tivewmn says

    June 18, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    If you’re living and breathing chances are you have half of that list. If you live in a city and eat anything not made from scratch you have the other half. It is a ridiculous promo AND you’re supposed to sacrifice one of your friends as well.

    Reply
  13. Rick Mycroft says

    June 18, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    “Surprise Alumni!” = It’ll be a surprise to them.

    Reply
  14. Espiando says

    June 18, 2015 at 1:09 pm

    The Putrif: I have everything on that list other than asbestos. Does this mean I need to go to the Freewinds for a few weeks before going on the Putrif in order to complete the set?

    The Best Event Ever Encore: It’s Gladys Nut and the Pimps!

    (Seriously, AKNE, think about a re-do with the outfits and the poses. You look gayer than John Travolta’s sauna attendants. And this is coming from a gay man.)

    Conquering Life Convention: It’s the SS Mesothelioma, the regges, and the conference lecturers versus your life, and they win every time. There will be no survivors from this trip. The good news is that the subjects seem to imply that the only way that you’ll ever get time or money to attend bullshit like this is if you run your own business. So, to free yourself from Scientology’s clutches, get wog employment.

    Michael Chan: Why should I take someone seriously whose main goal in life is to become as big a douchenozzle as Grant Cardone?

    CMO Hot Chicks: Doesn’t work with me for obvious reasons. And, let’s be honest, it shouldn’t work with any human male today. Isn’t this predicated on a sexist view of men as being ruled by their penises as well as the sexist view of women as merely suppliers of physical attraction toward a goal? Even advertising has moved on from this pre-Women’s Lib attitude. No guy born after 1990 is going to follow his dick into signing a Sea Org contract. If you’re serious about advertising the CMO, how about photos of average-looking Communist Massacres Organization types?

    Birmingham: If one of those 101 reasons isn’t “ELO is from Birmingham”, then I’m not contributing. Jeff Lynne>>>>>L. Fraud Flunk-Out.

    “What is the answer to what LRH called ‘the Riddle of the Centuries’?” Well, I don’t know. Why don’t you tell us? I bet it’s something like “Godiva Chocolate, whipped cream, and a bullwhip.”

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      June 18, 2015 at 5:39 pm

      I see that “normal beatings have resumed”, Espi. 🙂 Lethal stuff, with yet another new pun. “The Putrif”. Still chuckling.

      Reply
  15. hgc10 says

    June 18, 2015 at 12:40 pm

    Do I like “randomity”… on a construction project? In a word, NO. That is the stupidest come-on I have ever heard. Ever.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      June 18, 2015 at 5:11 pm

      Don’t hold back!

      Reply
    • Roger Hornaday says

      June 18, 2015 at 6:42 pm

      Randomity on a construction site does sound dangerous with some rather gruesome images popping into my head but they meant it in a FUN way, you know, like a game or something that doesn’t have dismemberments or skull fractures.

      Reply
  16. richardgrant says

    June 18, 2015 at 11:24 am

    Those photos at the bottom of the “Come Break Your Back for Free at Saint Hill” flier are pretty scary — the two men working near the heavy equipment may not be wearing any safety gear, and the guy in the last shot doesn’t seem to be in the best physical shape for this kind of work. I wonder if the authorities might want to take a look here for possible violations of worker-safety rules.

    This flier also contains one of my very favorite L. Ronisms: “randomity.” I can imagine the glee with which the Founder flourished his quill here. Having coined so many words by adding “-ness” to the root, creating novel atrocities like “havingness,” here at last was a word to which you can add “-ness” and the result is a clear and useful term found in any dictionary: randomness.

    Obviously this could not stand. A word not created by Ron is no better than the rude grunting of a beast. And so, voilà: “randomity”! And if you come to Saint Hill right now you can experience this concept personally with respect to your limbs and vital organs, at no cost to the COS and no risk to anyone but yourself! I can’t imagine how any able-bodied OT in Europe could pass up such an opportunity.

    Reply
    • Gary says

      June 18, 2015 at 2:59 pm

      LOL

      Reply
    • Roger Hornaday says

      June 18, 2015 at 6:30 pm

      You didn’t mention my favorite: “cognite”. “I cognited that I could see things better when I paid attention to what I was looking at!”* It’s a perfect word for having realizations that are beyond the ken of non-scientologists.

      *an actual written win

      Reply
  17. Ann B Watson says

    June 18, 2015 at 11:10 am

    Hi McCarran, After looking at all the ridiculous promo pieces not to mention the interminable voyages of the Fleecewinds to nowhere,I concur with you,all of the cos is no fun in any way! It was fun in the beginning SO days but criticism of any part of Ron’s dream gets one a ticket to nightmare land.That is one reason I love Thurs funnies,they allow me to laugh & that is good.But oh that piece with Stacy Francis & look out it’s Aknu had me blinded by the entire look & feel.However the pleas to help rejuvenate Ron’s house & the bs about the Commodore’s Messenger Org is beyond desperate.The KoolAid must be mixed very strongly & must be very potent! Love your posts.Always Ann B.

    Reply
  18. Rhinoplast says

    June 18, 2015 at 11:03 am

    Those bastards advertising the Purif as a handling for Asbestos.

    This is utter crap.

    The Purif will handle a hell of lot of stuff but if you have breathed in asbestos its almost a given lung cancer, asbestosis or emphysema follows over time.

    Talk about false claims!!!

    Reply
    • Espiando says

      June 18, 2015 at 11:48 am

      The Putrif will handle nothing. The “scientific basis” for it is patently false, as well as its origin in the comedy volume called All About Radiation. It’s one of the most horrid things L. Fraud came up with. You get nothing but dehydration and a potentially dangerous niacin overdose.

      Free your mind and expand your “false claims” claim to the whole process.

      Reply
      • Ann B Watson says

        June 18, 2015 at 4:03 pm

        Hi Espiando,That All About Radiation garbage! I’d forgotten that load of bs,perhaps for good reason.Take Care Ann B.

        Reply
      • Rhinoplast says

        June 19, 2015 at 6:14 am

        “You get nothing but dehydration”????

        what an earth are you going on about.

        Read the bulletens and try applying them

        You seem to have misunderstoods

        The Purif was one of the best things I ever did, other than running engrams.

        Reply
      • Espiando says

        June 19, 2015 at 9:38 am

        How about if you read a physiology textbook and find out how the human body really works, instead of relying on the word of L. Fraud Flunk-Out, who failed every one of his science courses in high school and college? Drugs lodging in fat…oh, my God.

        The Putrif is fraudulent, from basis to end phenomenon.

        And I, sir, know better than to try to turn an adjective into a noun by slapping an “s” at the end of the word.

        Reply
      • John Locke says

        June 19, 2015 at 12:31 pm

        Correct Espiando. Although the brainwashed sometimes will experience a placebo effect. There is no scientific validity for either the purif nor, engrams. Which is why El Con did ZERO scientific testing or trials.

        Reply
    • Newcomer says

      June 18, 2015 at 1:18 pm

      I think you are on to them Rhinoplast!

      Reply
      • Rhinoplast says

        June 20, 2015 at 9:21 am

        Well of course.

        They offer nothing except carping criticism.

        What technolgy has Espiando discovered.

        I may be incorrect but he does exhibit the type of personality that has had much psychiatric “treatment” and so has no hope ever.

        Kind of sad really, a super type of A – J PTS.

        Because he cannot make case gain he assumes no one else can ergo: the subject is fraud and does not work.

        You get the same problems in general medicine when a Doctor is taught a subject but misapplies it someone can die. He gets sued etc etc.

        When Scientology is missapplied you get Bloogger Trolls of imense proportion. Just go to some foums of ex scientologits( sic) and see them raving, again, rather sad.

        I for one am SICK TO DEATH of reading these poxy stories of people leaving and how bad it all is.

        Yet they stayed in there and put up with this shit, while doing bugger all to change things. I ised to be a basket ball player and loved it but after 8 years I no longer found it got me what I wanted in life so I packed it in. I don’t feel the need to rubbish the game or keep telling people to keep away from it.

        But then I am sane, some people in here are obviously not and demonstrate this on a regualr basis.

        If you don’t like Scientology then FUCK OFF. No one forces you to follow it.

        This blog is supposed to be information of use and amusement of current chuch nonsense which has NOTHING TO DO WITH SCIENTOLOGY.

        Got it yet?

        Reply
        • Mike Rinder says

          June 20, 2015 at 12:23 pm

          I cannot really make out who this rant is directed to, and as you are new here, I am going to tell you that this sort of ad hominem garbage directed at other commenters isnt acceptable here.

          If you are SICK TO DEATH of reading these poxy stories of people leaving and how bad it all is then I would direct you to a website that will be far more to your liking: scientology.org

          I assume you are a troll, but I if you behave yourself you can continue to post. If not, you will be relegated to the spam file.

          Reply
        • Roger Hornaday says

          June 20, 2015 at 12:52 pm

          “They offer nothing but carping criticism.”

          Not just carping criticism but some of the most hilarious RIDICULE! 🙂

          Reply
        • Mike Rinder says

          June 20, 2015 at 12:57 pm

          Oh, and by the way. How do you come by a “@scientology.net” email address? I want one of those…

          Reply
      • John Locke says

        June 21, 2015 at 11:09 am

        Looks like the OSAI troll, Rhinoplast, took a powder.

        Reply
  19. Rhinoplast says

    June 18, 2015 at 10:59 am

    Valley is in the final phase of “fundraising”?

    This is like the shop in the parade with the closing down sale that has been going on for decades.

    Rather like the COS the other way round

    Reply
  20. Old Surfer Dude says

    June 18, 2015 at 10:57 am

    You know, Mike, when I was on lines at the Orange County Org in Tustin, we had one event a year that we went to up in Hollywood. With the rash of so many events being promoted week in and week out, I have a question for you: Is all this done for the purpose of getting someone to actually come in so they can be regged? The food, the speakers, the over-the-top hype, the begging? It’s all for one reason? And since they have sooooooo many events, can we assume that very few people are actually coming in?

    Just curious…

    Reply
    • statpush says

      June 18, 2015 at 11:28 am

      Both staff and public have been experiencing “event fatigue” for decades. The summer MV events really put the whole scene over the top.

      BTW, staff secretly HATE events – of any kind.

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        June 18, 2015 at 5:14 pm

        “BTW, staff secretly HATE events – of any kind,” I believe that goes without saying. And…it’s always been that way.

        Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        June 18, 2015 at 5:18 pm

        “Event fatigue”. Good one, Statpush.

        “BTW, staff secretly HATE events – of any kind.”

        One would think so, and I began to suspect this to be the case but was never sure.

        They always put on such a convincing act to the contrary, after all.

        STAFF: (Warm friendly tone brimming with suppressed enthusiasm) “…and this is going to be the most INCREDIBLY THETA EVENT, you simply just wouldn’t want to miss it, and it will be SO wonderful to have you there…”

        ME, giving up after the 10th phone call: “OK”.

        STAFF: (Thrilled tone, very sincere): “GREAT! You are going to be SO blown away! Ok, now, while I’m confirming you, is there anyone you’d like to bring as a guest so I can note that down?”

        ME: “No”.

        STAFF: (Still VERY happy) “Well, OK, then! I’ll see you there! We’ll chat afterwards. Hey, you know, its really going to be so much fun and I’m REALLY glad you can make it and, believe me, you will too! Thanks! ‘Bye!

        ME: “Welcome…’bye. (Hang up, DEEP sigh, audible or inaudible groan.)

        Reply
    • Newcomer says

      June 18, 2015 at 1:17 pm

      What other ‘reason’ could there be?

      Reply
  21. cindy says

    June 18, 2015 at 10:50 am

    Mary, you’re right. And at the Mission of the Foothills, they don’t even have an entrance on the street they published the picture of. Again, all PR and no truth. They are in the basement and the few windows looking out are now covered up with huge posters so that none of us fringe SP’s can look in and take a picture of how empty and dead it is. Imagine the poor staff in a dark basement building and no light coming in from the windows cuz they are covered up and the whole tone level of the place is fear and apathy and desperation. Solid, indeed.

    Reply
    • McCarran says

      June 18, 2015 at 3:59 pm

      The church of scientology is in its own World Out of Comm.

      So, let’s see if “Communication is the universal solvent” and the church keeps restricting their own staff and their parishioner communication, what would that mean…by they’re own tenets? It means that the church is cutting off its own oxygen.

      Reply
  22. Dan Locke says

    June 18, 2015 at 10:37 am

    “Single men and determined groups have been the only makers of space and in which Man could walk free.”

    Not entirely true, by my observation. While it IS true that many men once married become a bit more complacent (some have even called me docile!), there are many, many married men throughout history and even now who have plenty of that “true grit” that Ron seems to be talking about here.

    And it is also true that many (not all) single men are so hobbled by that dreadful alloying of loneliness and randiness that they never really get anything done…

    (Just a couple pennies value of thinking from someone often called a joker for daring to say aloud such things in the sacred hallways of Scientology academies…)

    Reply
    • Cre8tivewmn says

      June 18, 2015 at 2:27 pm

      I think he meant “single” as in individual man or not large groups. Goodness knows LRH spent little time as a single (unmarried ) man himself .

      Reply
  23. Gary says

    June 18, 2015 at 10:35 am

    I see that the purif helps smoke inhalation. Don’t these people believe smoking cures cancer?

    Reply
    • WalkSoftly says

      June 18, 2015 at 12:39 pm

      AHAHAHAAHaaa. I thought the same thing! I thought the same thing with the listing of ‘asbestos’. I wonder if they recommend a purif after a visit to the Freewinds.

      Reply
    • MostEthicalPimp says

      June 18, 2015 at 1:13 pm

      My god no wonder Scientologist keep getting cancer! or is it just their bound by the same rules of life as everyone else?

      Reply
    • Newcomer says

      June 18, 2015 at 1:15 pm

      Yes but you can’t be theety weety about it, you really have to pound through several packs a day to get there. Eventually it cures everything that ails you!

      Reply
      • Ann B Watson says

        June 18, 2015 at 4:00 pm

        Hi Newcomer,Yes you really have to suck the life out of those Kools until the life is sucked out of you.I quit over 30 yrs ago & my cancers are not lung related,but in the See Orge I can’ believe I smoked a pack of Kools a week because Ron smoked them.And I dyed my brunette hair red too! Now it’s naturally blonde grey & that’s fine with me now.But omg Ann what you did in the name of one seriously f’ed up man! XO Ann B.

        Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      June 18, 2015 at 1:18 pm

      Gary, he’s the quote from Hubbard: “Smoking doesn’t cause cancer. Not smoking enough causes cancer.”

      Black is white. Up is down. They live in opposite world…

      Reply
  24. RolandRB says

    June 18, 2015 at 10:28 am

    I think the Brummie clams could be doing a lot more. It is time they said “Bucket – I’m all in!. Ron went all in for me so I’m going all in for Ron” and then that Ideal Org would be built in a few short weeks and then a million wogs in the area would flock into the Org waving their check books.

    Reply
  25. Lori says

    June 18, 2015 at 10:22 am

    Omg if I was a member of tolkeins estate, I would sue the f$&@ out of them for using his likeness to sell their bs! How dare they mess with the lord of the rings!

    Reply
    • WalkSoftly says

      June 18, 2015 at 12:36 pm

      I agree. Tolkien would be livid.

      Reply
    • NOLAGirl says

      June 18, 2015 at 1:00 pm

      I highly doubt they’ll sue, but they have been made aware that Co$ is using his image to raise funds. 🙂

      Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      June 18, 2015 at 1:19 pm

      Right there with you, Lori! And I do they do get sued to the gates of Hell.

      Reply
  26. Kathy H. says

    June 18, 2015 at 9:52 am

    Forgive me for asking about superficial, gossipy stuff, but I wondered if any of you can answer about two very persistent rumors floating around about CoS “matchmaking”, first is it true that Lisa Marie Presley divorced her husband to marry Michael Jackson because she was pressured to, in the hopes that he would join and become the biggest Scientology celebrity? And did CoS have anything to do with pushing Travolta and Kelly Preston’s marriage, to quiet those pesky gay rumors?

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      June 18, 2015 at 11:53 am

      No and no

      Reply
      • Kathy H. says

        June 18, 2015 at 5:59 pm

        Thank you Mike.

        Reply
  27. DollarMorgue says

    June 18, 2015 at 9:08 am

    Who is the mystery donor is a trick question. It’s you, of course! (if you show up)

    Reply
  28. Jose Chung says

    June 18, 2015 at 9:06 am

    Sell the SIZZLE not the steak.
    Europe has nailed that , maybe in a hundred years there might be a steak.

    Reply
  29. I Yawnalot says

    June 18, 2015 at 9:05 am

    VOMIT!

    Reply
  30. McCarran says

    June 18, 2015 at 8:35 am

    Looking at these promo pieces all I see is “Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla.” Same ole same ole obvious poppy cock easily deduced by just looking around at the world of improvements brought about by the church of scientology. Just google it. One can barely see an improvement in their own little individual selves, much less the world around them. Look at poor Drew Johnston, still preaching to the choir about how to really live life while redoing it or negating what he has done himself, at a higher cost both spiritually and financially.

    Here’s a little piece of REAL promo I just got as a message from an old friend who lives in the LA area and hasn’t been involved with the church in ANY way since the 80’s: “I walked by the org yesterday, very low tone, serious looks, no laughter, no smiles, two sea org members were rude at Gillham’s store, and I let one know, of course. But seriously, Mary, it is scary compared to when we were having fun…. I don’t know what it is now….”

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      June 18, 2015 at 11:07 am

      “I walked by the org yesterday, very low tone, serious looks, no laughter, no smiles, two sea org members were rude at the Gillham’s store, and I let one know, of course.” Gosh, I went by that same org and everyone was very up tone, happy and laughing. Even the sea org members were nice to me! Oh, wait…my bad. It was just a dream I had. You’re right. And you know, Mary, it’s just going to get worse for them.

      Reply
    • Valerie says

      June 18, 2015 at 1:57 pm

      McCarran, that’s the same way I feel reading the promos. Blah blah blah. We get a lot of junk email here at the office and I just read a word or two of the title and throw it in the garbage. (Interesting side note, I was sorting through the mail this way once while talking to the mailman about where his band was playing that weekend and he said “gees, do you have to do that while I’m still here?”)

      Anyway . . . Every. One. Of. These. Promos. Made me do that. Read a word or two. Mentally toss in the garbage. They all say the same thing. Give me your money. Don’t expect anything for giving me your money.

      Reply
    • julie brush says

      June 19, 2015 at 7:23 am

      These ad’s,remind me of something Like Amway,or a pyramid money building scheme,that someone in a subdivision,would have all the neighbor’s over,have some chips and dip set out,and pitch their scheme,to get the neighbor’s on board,to pass onto their friends,so on and so on. It’s so Amway? They are so tacky,generic,obviously obvious and totally insulting to the average intelligent human being.

      Reply
  31. MostEthicalPimp says

    June 18, 2015 at 8:24 am

    Hey, Mike I sent you any email via the conntact me link with a funny church promo on sunday. I’m never got any message back. I can understand if not using my funny. But I would just like to know if you got it.
    If people want to check it out:https://www.facebook.com/missionofthefoothills scroll down a bit.
    Apparently the Executive Director was off doing her SRD at flag and the staff got up to some antics.

    Reply
    • scientology411 says

      June 18, 2015 at 12:17 pm

      Thanks for posting that, I remember Naseema from another org many years ago. Nice lady, sorry to see she’s still in.

      Reply
      • MostEthicalPimp says

        June 18, 2015 at 4:56 pm

        I too have a friend who works at that mission. But did you see the Chuck with the oversized glasses and the CS with motor cycle helmet? So maybe they’re at least having fun…

        Reply
  32. Lori S says

    June 18, 2015 at 8:20 am

    What kind of a “friend” would put you on the list for purification? Not a good one! I love how they want to detox people from processed foods, yet a good number of their ads focus on the availability of processed foods!

    Reply
    • Kathy H. says

      June 18, 2015 at 9:41 am

      I guess all the photos of food are tempting to the poor members who are so broke from constant donations that they’re hungry!! And processed food is better than nothing!!

      Reply
      • Ann B Watson says

        June 18, 2015 at 12:14 pm

        Hi Kathy H, Love your posts. You are so right when the body is starving any food except spoiled food will taste really good.In the SO I had no time to worry about fresh versus processed as I scraped the green mold off the top of the homemade yogurt we had for breakfast @ the old Bodhi Tree space the SO took meals in way back in 74.Then on the Excalibur the powdered eggs with burnt toast & the eggs were green & lukewarm was terrible.And we were exspected to work our butts off on those breakfasts Served on tin military trays from the 40s.But hey we were SO members so what’s wrong with no food.Got to keep us in line.One time I was told to serve the Captain & I about fell over.A three or more course meal of elaborate fresh veggies & fruit & cheese a thick steak vino etc all on sterling silver,on beautiful china plates by candlelight no less. Crazy & cruel!XO Ann B.

        Reply
      • Kathy H. says

        June 18, 2015 at 5:52 pm

        Thanks Ann B!! OMG, your vivid description of the Sea Org “cuisine” made me cringe!! Aren’t you glad you weren’t in for the full billion years!!!

        Reply
        • Ann B Watson says

          June 18, 2015 at 6:52 pm

          Hi Kathy H, Thank you,you are really caring & good.If I had continued on I would be circling the Stars & Planets with a dropped body searching for ” the wind blowing across the fields of a lonely plant a galaxy away” in other words target 2. Wow am I forever glad I got out & can remember that delicious food & laugh.Blows off tons of charge! Always Ann B.

          Reply
    • Lori says

      June 18, 2015 at 10:24 am

      That’s a good idea! Have enemies?…. Put them on $cien’s mailing list (insert evil laugh here)

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        June 18, 2015 at 6:25 pm

        That’s in fact a very good idea, Lori.

        Reply
    • cindy says

      June 18, 2015 at 10:40 am

      Mike, why do you think the donators are listed with pictures but no names? Is it because the KA drinkers don’t want their name to be connected with Scn if someone does a Google search on them? Or do you think it is because the church doesn’t want proof of who donated by name so that when they eventually leave the church down the line or get declared or both, that no one can go back to public record on Mike’s site and see that most of the upstat whales have left the church later on? What do you think is the reason for no names?

      Reply
      • Valerie says

        June 18, 2015 at 1:47 pm

        Cindy, I was guessing that the ones with no names have already left or only donated on the grounds that their name be left off the list, but I may be wrong. It is hard to put together a list and say lots of people have donated when so many are sneaking out the back door shortly after they give you money.

        Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        June 18, 2015 at 6:37 pm

        Cindy, I think every one of the reasons you listed would be valid ones for not putting names with the faces, but my take would be that mostly its CO$’s paranoia about the next shoe dropping, meaning, the next KA drinker to cognite and get the hell out of Dodge.

        Its an interesting question you’ve posed, because IF the KA drinkers indeed ARE reluctant to be known as Scientologists then there must be some cognizance on their part of the true state of Scientology’s PR, and if THAT’S the case, then why – why REALLY, are they STAYING with the program and donating so much?

        See, its contrary fact!

        They’re heavy donors, beaming with pride about supporting their church and creating an ideal civilization and blah blah blah, BUT

        “Hey! Don’t use my name! Don’t put my name out there because…”

        Because WHY? Why wouldn’t they want there names out there, if they’re sincere, if they’re gung ho, if they’re so proud and so this and so that?

        Food for thought.

        Reply
    • Newcomer says

      June 18, 2015 at 10:40 am

      ” What kind of a “friend” would put you on the list for purification?”.

      A true friend Lori, of course! One that you would find or make only in a group of the most ethical people on the planet, the only ones who are actually doing anything about it, especially those that have joined the See Ogre.

      Those that have joined the See Ogre can really help their friends by reviewing their non auditing sessions and slamming their ethics in hard so they can get on the bandwagon of living life and donating other peoples money to a cause they no nothing about.

      Now we are talking about planetary raping and pillaging for real.

      Yo Dave,
      Go get em big boy!! Stop on by sometime and we can discuss the next thing I will be donating to you good buddy!

      Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      June 18, 2015 at 10:47 am

      Lori, is just proves that you can, actually, have your cake and eat it too! Even if it is processed…

      Reply
    • LHS says

      June 18, 2015 at 11:48 am

      They also mention how toxic TVs and computers are, yet elsewhere they brag about their web sites and their new/upgraded TV and movie studio.

      Reply
      • valhalkarie says

        June 18, 2015 at 9:47 pm

        Lol Yeah well claiming radiation exposure if you even look at a computer is effective for many not to even think about it! Lol

        Reply

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