This email was recently sent out from the executive in charge of getting new people onto the Bridge in London’s “ideal” org. And of course this is the ONLY org for a city with 10 million resident – imagine if there was ONE laundromat in all of London and the owners were announcing “we are cleaning London’s clothes” and actually stated their goal for the last 25 years was to do the laundry of every person in London, but they still only had one small laundromat that nobody even used because their prices were too high.
He is so very proud of the fact that one person a WEEK is getting onto the Bridge! (this DOES qualify for an exclamation point) Lookat us, we are doing one load of laundry per week!
This “ideal” org cost more than 10 million pounds. As I recall it was opened in 2004. Twelve years later and they are “clearing the UK” at a rate that is not even keeping up with the number of people being declared.
The evidence of the complete failure of Miscavige’s “ideal org strategy” is everywhere to be seen. But of course, they keep doubling down on it because as with everything else (Basics, GAT etc) he has come up with, the failure is attributed to DBs/SPs and CI c***suckers refusal to implement his brilliant plans correctly. So they just keep hammering on the same old stuff and the result is invariably the same. Reminds me of Central Files – but that is much less expensive.
Good morning xxxxx!!!
I am writing to you to give some continued inspiration on FSMing and disseminating Scientology.
In London Org we have at least one brand new public moving from introductory services in Division 6 onto the Bridge EVERY WEEK! Did you know that of the last 50 public in London resigning from Division 6 services to the mainline Bridge (Purif, SRD, Student Hat etc), 35 of them were brought in by FSMs? \
That means that you, yes you Xxxxxxx play a massive part in making NEW Scientologists! And I am here to help you.
So do you have any selectees, friends or family you are working on currently?
If not would you like to come and see me for some drilling or advice?
Public Executive Secretary London Day
It was a really weird choice of location for an i$teal Org. I live a few hundred yards away, and it’s way down a backstreet in the financial district with no foot traffic and where most everything else is closed at weekends. The local launderette on the other hand does a roaring trade, it’s next door to a YMCA and a student halls of residence. It also often gets booked out as a location for film shoots. http://d.pr/fM0W
Hmmm, of those 52-odd brand new public progressing each year from Div 6 onto the ‘proper’ part of the Bridge – I wonder how many go ‘WTF!’ and then GTFO when they are chain (and gang) regged for the Sea Org, next IAS level, Org Staff, Ideal Org donations, ‘special’ donations, Sea Org again, all after having to sit through a 2 hour video presentation where ‘Mr COB’ tells us how wonderful everything is in His Wonderful Magical Land?
When the ‘new’ London org opened (actually in Oct 2006) and all those OTs and others rushed to join staff, even though I was still ‘in’ at the time, I couldn’t help but think to myself, “This is going to be a real test of how well the Admin Tech works and how well a group of OTs can apply it!”. I wanted it to succeed, but the UK had been stalled for so long, I was rather sceptical. Anything other than St Hill-sized within a couple of years would be a failure, in my eyes.
A couple of years later, I ran into one of the ex-St Hill Foundation staffers who had joined London. She told me that despite working a full schedule (40 odd hours) she only got ‘expenses’ which amounted to around £50 per week. Pretty much what the train fare would cost. I asked her how most staff managed. Unless they had someone else who could support them financially, they couldn’t.
If you look at the staff roster of London you will see they are almost entirely kids of long-time Scientologists or old-timers who are winding down to retirement. Or at least they would be if they lived in the real world. Here, they are expected to raid their pensions (if they ever had them), re-mortgage their homes or do whatever it took to make sure that the OT levels were available to them next lifetime (having given up on progressing any more this lifetime).
Ann B Watson says
Hi GBTO, I liked your post. Very strong and true points you made.I felt like a mouse being played with viciously by GO/I until after a year and a half I saw I had to take me back and escape.Very difficult to do but very nesscessary The Science Of Survival.Ha ha Ron that is the true science of survival common sense and the fire inside never dying out even if it is almost charred embers.XO Ann B.
A recent visit to the Detroit Ideal Org revealed that it has been declared.
Xenu's Son says
Scientology.The laundromat where you go in medium clean ,and come out shredded and stained.
This has probably already been mentioned but can you imagine the exponential, year-on-year population explosion in such a densely populated area as London?The population count didn’t stop increasing the day London’s ideal org was opened. It moves ever faster in one direction while Scientology London’s completions move increasingly faster in the other.
Scientology: London’s laundromat.
I have to say, “do you have any selectees, friends or family you are working on” sounds vaguely sinister.
People are tired being ceaselessly harassed by some predatory parasitic money cult, so it matters little what the CO$ has to offer. The environment is all bad and wrong, secondly better SCN services are available outside the church for much less. They might as well close their doors, a slow death is it’s bearing.
“Come see me for drilling…”
I’m just gonna say right up front: Whatever that means, it sounds like a terrible idea. I mean, I can go to the dentist for drilling, which is no laugh riot but at least I know it’s for my own good. But I don’t like the idea of going to see a Scientologist for a drilling, not one bit. What is that supposed to be, anyway? Cash extraction, or anal penetration?
Possibly both, with kool-aid substituting for novocaine.
Jose Chung says
DRILL BABY DRILL
“In London Org we have at least one brand new public moving from introductory services in Division 6 onto the Bridge EVERY WEEK!” I actually had to look at that sentence twice. How in the name of (insert name of favourite deity…oops, CoB DM here) can you take seriously that one person a week rates two words in capitals and an exclamation mark? This is truly hilarious.
“xxxxx” is either a super secret spy or porn star.
What Mr. Wakley means by drilling is you spend hours removing your wallet from your pocket (or purse from handbag) and opening it and handing over money until it becomes a rote action.
This is simply more evidence (not that such is needed as it is plentiful anyway) that Miscavige has and is achieving what he set out to do – destroy Orgs and the Scientology network. His initial overt was the Missions Network in 82 or whenever and then it just carried on snowballing, overt after overt. He is a complete squirrel substituting his own policies and management ethos (and has perverted parts of the tech as well, of course) and has cajoled the whole network into being in fear of him and his retributions if anyone asks why are Orgs empty and why are the stats down long term (30+ years of this now).
IAS and Ideal Org donations are simply his crafty method of camouflaging the enormous hole that is worldwide WDAHs and course completions. These scams totally deflect people off the Bridge not only financially but spiritually. All the impetus is now focused on these ridiculous “statuses”. He probably uses these “GI” stats to justify to himself even that he “must be doing the right thing”, yet if Orgs had been run properly and people helped, the amount of GI that could have been made over the last 30 years would have dwarfed (pun intended) his ridiculous and diverting donations scams. Of course this is why Orgs have become nasty and bitchy places to be as well, as the most terrific arbitraries have been introduced and the whole place is being run like some sort of protection racket scheme – “if you say anything against COB and his off-policy actions we’ll break your spiritual legs, so pay up now!”
The analogy of the elephant sitting in the room is not even too trite for this serial Suppressive.
I don’t think the Ideal Org strategy has failed in that it was never really intended to bring about actual expansion of Scientology membership but rather to basically enable DM to launder church income by disguising it as being expended on legitimate religious purposes. (Unless the church really is spending $30,000 on a hammer and $40,000 on a toilet seat…). It’s all a sham to justify the church’s tax exemption in the United States and in that respect it’s been a spectacular success.
Mike Rinder says
You are right John. But Miscavige has sold this to his followers as “expansion”… And it is what they tell the media too. The ideal orgs are “proof” of massive international expansion.
Mike: Excellent point. Misc is KOD (King of Deviousness) and can tell the brethren just about anything and have them not only believe it – no matter the level of insanity – but fiercely defend it, at any cost to themselves.
The laundromat analogy is excellent, except they only clean bank accounts. I remember my fellow staff members doing the trip to London for the opening. That big building in central London must have cost a fortune.
Brings to mind a song:
London Bridge is falling down
Falling down, falling down
London Bridge is falling down
My fair lady (Davey)
Doug Parent says
If you add CULT REMOVER into the wash at the end of the wash cycle will it come out as “Scientology” or something else?
Speaking of laundromats, the one thing you can say about David Miscavige is that he’s taken a lot of people to the cleaners.
Totally Off Topic: I just found an old “OK!” magazine saved for an unknown reason, until I saw the back ad. It’s so crazy, “voted #1 Vodka of 2033 ….18 Billion Scientologists Can’t be Wrong.” And there’s this sexy type bald robot woman holding a glass. I wanted to post a pic of it but can’t – if you google the phrase you can find it. It was from OK! Oct. 24, 2005, (“Tom &Katie Having a Baby!”)
It’s just so damn funny. 🙂
yeah, see? Weird.
This is off topic but tomorrow is the 4th and I’ll be away, and I want to wish everyone here a very Happy 4th of July, and if you’re out of the US and don’t celebrate it, well, so what, get the concept and enjoy it anyway. Mike, thank you again for your hard work, your persistence in getting the truth out, with objectivity and insight: thanks for your wordsmithing skills, and last but not least, for your sense of humor which can make me shout with laughter despite subject matter that is of itself funny. Someday there will be little pockets of fireworks all over the planet celebrating the demise of our favorite cult. Maybe we can have ours on the beach at OSD’s place. Ciao, everyone.
Edit: “…despite subject matter that is of itself NOT funny.”
Yes, Mike, what she said! Thank you!
It used to be sad, but now it’s pitiful!
Old Surfer Dude says
Oh! It’s gone way beyond pitiful…
Joe Pendleton says
Interesting stats LDW presented on theater and football attendance. One new person onto “the bridge” each week … how utterly fucking pathetic … but probably an up stat!!!
Here’s the main thing to realize on all these low numbers presented about orgs in this blog over the years … THE SCIENTOLOGY “EXPERIENCE” NOW DEPENDS ON TOTAL CONTROL OF ITS PARISHIONERS.
This CANNOT be done if the numbers in the CoS get too high at any given time. I think Miscavige knows that expansion in the West will never occur during his tenure (another 10 – 15 years probably). Just imagine what would actually happen in an org like even Pasadena if fifty people walked in to “find out about Scientology” in one day or worse for them, in half a day. I’m not even talking about the administration re: staff of the greeting, showing them around, giving them and evaluating the OCA, the movie, reg interview, etc, WHICH WOULD BE FAIRLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR ANY ORG TO DO DECENTLY if there was a crowd. I’m talking about CONTROL. That is to say, to sit down and QUAL these people … who is the person, how did he find about Scn, etc etc
In the 70s, there was always intermittent talk about “plants.” The Guardian’s office seemed to be always on guard for them, for whatever reason I don’t know, LRH’s paranoia? NOW of course, there is CERTAINLY good reason for the CoS to suspect either reporters, bloggers, potential authors, or just folks looking to have some fun checking out Scientology walking in an org, or even getting on a service..
You see, I don’t think Miscavige WANTS a lot of people in Scientology. Why? Answer is pretty simple. If suddenly 80,000 people were on course in the CoS, there is no way TOTAL CONTROL could be exercised. And remember, the higher this number goes, simple laws of probability tell you that a certain amount of them, even if a small amount, will be rebellious, look at the internet, question LRH, and INFECT OTHER SCIENTOLOGISTS fucking up the potential donation pool for services, IAS, Ideal Org statuses, etc. In my opinion, this is why the CoS so quickly declares so many of us who are highly trained and experienced. We are not wanted, because we could potentially influence other Scientologists. AND MAKIT IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR MAAs AND ETHICS TO EXERCISE THEIR OWN PARTICULAR TYPE OF FEAR/CONTROL ON THE STAFF AND PUBLIC to be continuously regged..
The idea is to have a relatively small amount of middle class public, with a higher percentage of upper middle class than the overall society, and a few very rich folks, and then CONTROL THEM COMPLETELY and that most definitely includes REG THE SHIT OUT OF THEM FOR EVERY FUCKING CENT THAT CAN BE SQUEEZED FROM THEM.
So, small numbers coming in? That’s the idea! (and the brain dead old timers who will fucking believe ANYTHING they’re told, buy the “expanding like never before” stuff … because they dare not NOT believe it).
**imagine suddenly, three or four hundred people showing up for an event in Buffalo (or even NYC). Who makes sure they all have their special ID cards to get in? What if half of them don’t even know about the ID cards, but are responding to an ad? Who regges them after? How do you keep them from discussing the event and saying things they shouldn’t say? … you see, too many people. Keep the number of people in Scientology small, manageable and COMPLETELY CONTROLABLE.
Joe Pendleton says
By the way, the West is screwed for Scientology pretty much because of the internet, books, TV spots, etc. If Miscavige REALLY just wanted to expand Scientology, he’d go after Asia big time, half the people in the world live on this continent (including myself). And the CoS does have a presence in Taiwan and Japan (I worked with the SO in Tokyo for ten weeks in 2004, interesting experience) BUT you have to realize that Asia is just as diverse (more so really) than Europe. Countries like India, China, Thailand, are as different as Britain, Germany, France and Italy. and of course there are Muslim nations like Indonesia and Malaysia and a heavily Christian nation like the Phillipines, all which would resist Scientology. But the KEY factor of why Miscavige won’t take advantage of the most fertile ground for expansion in an area where the PR of Scn is not total shit? (because 99.999% percent of Asians have never heard of Scientology) …. CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL. Just imagine Miscavige and the SO trying to fully control 200,000 Indians, Chinese, Japanese, on services at the same time? IMPOSSIBLE. Which is why good old COB keeps the numbers low and “handle-able.” And the “spiritually tired” old timers just believe all the malarkey about expansion.
“Well, are you going to believe ME or believe your own eyes? Factually …..”
You’re right Joe, and it made me think of the SuMP opening. Why would a media studio open whilst at the same time be closed to well, actual media? Control. Why would the call for attendees go out at the very last minute, and why would you make those people wait hours to be transported from LA org and then wait again for “security clearances”? Control. Only the hardest of the hardcore audience would put up with that kind of inconvenience. Anyone who would even be on the fence would root themselves out. The same goes for a midnight bus from Clearwater to Atlanta. The church knows the number of true kool-aid drinkers is small. It knows that there are UTRs and it knows that there are those who leak things here and to Tony. Maybe it has decided it can’t stop the leaks or UTRs, so the best way to prevent more of them is to keep the population manageable, a wealthy boutique, like the “ideal Narconons for drug rehab”. The way to do that is to weed people out through cost or inconvenience. Either it’s so expensive that I don’t get involved or I won’t bother to check it out because it’s such a hassle.
Joe – sounds like your on to Dave’s game.
The paranoia about plants continued all the way through the 80’s when I was staff. Plants and people who may have been “PDHed”. Our GO and OSA were nuts on it.
Having read “A Piece of Blue Sky” recently, it all fell perfectly into place and made so much sense. The church was the one sending in plants, spies, and thieves in droves to all kinds of agencies. “We” were the ones who wanted to plant false information, steal documents, get people fired or discredited and so on. The church was a big old basket of dirty tricks and evil manipulations to its enemies and its own staff.
The depth of the lack of integrity, the lies, the disingenuous false fronts given to public and staff scios and the false face to the world… it’s almost overwhelming.
I felt filthy by association just reading it.
I HATE hubbard.
Secretfornow, isn’t it funny that Scientologists are supposed to be “the most ethical people on the planet” – and then you find out what the people in charge are actually doing? So many people joined for the right reasons, wanted to “save mankind” and become more able and aware themselves, then to find out what their “church” is doing, is so unbelievable to them that they refuse to acknowledge it, they close their eyes and pretend it doesn’t exist… or they are so far into conditioning not to look at entheta or anything negative that they are unable to see… they deny it even to themselves, because they don’t want it to be true. Or do most people believe that “the end justifies the means”?
“Let’s Sell these people a piece of blue sky” and Russell Miller’s ‘LRon Hubbard, Messiah or Madman?’ are two of the best books one can read on the history of the CoS and Ron, IMO. For anyone who is having difficulties shedding the ideas and tentacles of the church, these two books can help give a new perspective. You can always take it for what it’s worth (to you) and it won’t hurt to read them. Promise.
I know what would work to flood the empty Scientology Ideal Orgs.
Get the most powerful OT 8 Scientologists to hit the Stress Table Dissemination team setups on the streets of all the major cities, and do some OT parlor tricks demonstrating their OT powers!
That would get some people onto the Bridge.
OT parlor tricks demonstrating some OT powers!
Jose Chung says
You have to be kidding.
I did OT tricks that I bought from the Magic Shop at Universal City Walk and
and stunts learned from Magician Friends, none are routes into Scientology..
Great for entertaining children and parties,that’s all.
Chuck, the Church of Scientology’s failure is caused by the church pursuing cash and stats instead of results. As a trained supervisor and word clearer you know that cash and stats will not make Clears or OT’s. Only LRH tech makes Clears and OT’s, but is has to be applied first! 🙂 If I were you or anybody else (which I am not) I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for the latter to happen. Enjoy the fireworks. 🙂
Years ago, I worked in a mission which had no red or green books. The mission holder had only one policy letter posted and ignored all the rest: “We always deliver what we promise.” The mission had NO ethics problems nor requests for refunds. Worked a charm!!!
There is no spiritual condition of “Clear” and there is no spiritual condition of OT. These are false concepts. Spiritual condition is improved by using spiritual attributes, such as love, compassion, wisdom, forgiveness, honesty, justice.. Using these attributes is very challenging and requires determination, self responsibility, a positive sense of self, a belief in the value of every human being, and an willingness to examine and eliminate our prejudices.
Could you explain further, please? What makes them “false concepts”? On what basis did you make this determination. You’ve not defined your terms. I disagree that the long list you posted is required to experience a spiritual condition. Religious, possibly, but not spiritual IMHO.
Mike Wynski says
thegman77, that they are NOT true is what makes them false. As far as proof? The burden is on the one making the claim of “clear” & “OT”. NOT the person calling bull shit.
I could ask you, “On what basis do you think that warp powered unicorns don’t exist on Earth”?
“Wisdom, forgiveness, honesty, justice” I agree with your spiritual ‘attributes’ because those are qualities that counter a selfish, materialistic point of view. “Clear” and OT” are fanciful, imprecise concepts used to acquire money from people who seek to delude themselves about attaining higher states of consciousness. Obviously there is no ‘clear’ or ‘OT.’
If somebody wants to call themselves such in order that their drab self-image is enhanced, putting lipstick on a pig as it were, then maybe we shouldn’t begrudge them of that pitiful indulgence. Unless of course they seek to enlist others into their depravity. Then as mature adults we simply must speak out.
Roger, one need not disparage others in order to make a point. Your first para was a clear opinion. The second one was unnecessary. Hopefully real maturity will guide you into letting others be whatever they want to be, think however they want to think. I went clear a long time ago, got very positive life effects which have carried down to this day. “Drab self image”? Hardly.
There are always going to be those who think that “state of clear” and “OT” are things that exist, and others that firmly believe that they do not. Neither will easily change the other person’s mind. It seems to me, as an outsider, that over time, people tend to learn, read, and discover more about Scientology and as a result start changing their beliefs on the effectiveness of “the Tech” and states of being.
Here on this blog are mostly ex-Scientologists, so by definition, they do not believe in the validity of many of the concepts. They are disillusioned. Therefore, discussion is along these lines. However, there is a high level of tolerance for other views, but one should not expect blanket acceptance of that which the majority here do not believe.
If your sense of self is tied up with the concept of a state of being, known as “clear” to you, then you may feel defensive, understandably. No one is attacking you personally, they just don’t believe in the concept. I think the point is, there is no scientific proof that such a state is proven, measurable, or considered a valid condition by society at large or by the medical or scientific community, and for good reasons.
Feel free to think of yourself in any terms you like, to label yourself as whatever you choose, as you want to do, but it’s not reasonable to expect others to agree. Live and let live, though.
“…they are “clearing the UK” at a rate that is not even keeping up with the number of people being declared….”
LRH had an old solution, the “Operation Z” division 6 new people flooding into the orgs program of 1977-78 era was the LRH solution.
David Miscavige needs to dust off “Operation Z!”
Jose Chung says
OMG Operation “Z”
Rodney Dangerfield would say ” Your Killing Me, your Killing Me”
Op z did not bring new public in the Org if anything they stayed away in droves
or became Mormons (the went some where but not up the Bridge)
“Working on” … correction: “Working over”
2. To dominate one’s opponent in a contest, conflict, or competition: Our team really worked their team over in the final game of the season. We need to get more defensive, or they’ll work us over.
3. To criticize, scold, or ridicule someone harshly: The sergeant will work you over if you don’t stand at attention.
4. Slang To inflict severe physical damage on someone or something; beat up someone or something: If you don’t do what the gang leader tells you to do, he’ll work you over.
Wognited and Out says
Scientology creates and produces antagonism. Anyone that was in and had a clue – left and is pissed at the rip off. Those still in are clue less. The “tech” works when standardly applied to suppress anyone “in” from knowing the truth that Scientology is a horrific scam and betrayal of the worst kind.
I am happy to hear no one is going into any Org’s in the UK or US!!
Miscavige is constantly pounding the idea of “orders of magnitude.” He infers that HE alone has increased the size and scope of $cientology to their correct order of magnitude. He unequivocally assured his minions that if they build it, people will come. Hundreds of millions of dollars later…
This just in from a google search:
There are 241 professional theatres in London, with more than 110,000 seats and attendances of 22 million.
That compares with 13 million attendees for all of England’s Premier League football games.
And then there is $cientology with an attendance of 50. Hip Hip H…
The question that der Leader Dave and the Co$ members should really be asking themselves is, “Why is $cientology so incredibly NOT needed and wanted?”
Scientology is analogous to toxic waste. Always best to keep a safe distance.
according to a friend across the country – at any given time there are more people attending one afternoon showing matinee movie in one theatre of one town than there are people on course in all of New York state. Probably more attending that one showing than the total number on course for the entire week.
The raw truth as I see it, is that Scientology just doesn’t have what it takes to succeed. Even true if Hubbard himself was still around. They can’t and don’t deliver the goods they promote they have. Besides, today’s world has much better bullshit sniffing tools available to wide populations, so that further bars any expansion.
Nada Jurisich-Fontana says
The laundromat is a great analogy!
And at least with a laundromat, you get a clean product! No longer so with the “wee” kirk! Instead, you’re told you’ll have to pay for it many more times and you’re the reason it’s still dirty!
You walk in clean and they convince you you’re dirty with the bullshit OCA
GIBO, an interesting tidbit about the OCA: it is a tool to tell people how f’ ed up they are so that auditing can save them from it and money can be extracted from them. But if after lots of auditing, you get your OCA lines all well above center line (which is good), then they spin it that you are still f’ ed up because lines that high mean you are “theetie wheetie” which means you can’t confront and especially can’t confront evil. So there is never a time when the OCA is good enough that they say, “you are healed an cured, now go forth and enjoy life!”
Scott Henderson says
With all of the Hub’s brilliant dissemination and PR “tech” available for the clams to use what stuns me is not the paltry numbers of new marks but the fact that this damning bit of information was EVER released in the first place. Even the most devout and deluded Scientologist can not as-is this latest piece of fail away.
Oh fuck, somebody will going to the Hole for sure and quite possibly have their cats shaved in public.*
*i jest about the cats
Old Surfer Dude says
Whew! Glad that was just in jest, Scott! My wife is Japanese and we have 3 cats. She had quite a bit of hardware packed in her bag. She finally stopped when I yelled “JOKE!”
One of my favorite Japanese singers is Ikue Asazaki – if you have a chance, listen to her singing Obukuri-Eeumi from Samuri Champloo anime, it can be found on Youtube.
Or check out a faster song, by a group of talented kids: babymetal: イジメ ダメ ゼッタイ
Thanks for the lead on a new music experience. I just listened to Ikue Asazaki sing the song
you mentioned and she knocked my socks off! I’m adding her music to my playlist. It’s perfect for the long hours I spend at my drawing table.
Thanks rogerHornaday, I’m happy to hear that you enjoyed listening to Ikue Asazaki, she is one of my favorite Japanese singers. I’ve been listening to a lot of S. Korean stuff recently as well, and, strangely enough, Spanish classical guitar (strange, only because these genres of music don’t have much in common with each other). When I first heard the Obukuri-Eeumi song, I wasn’t sure I liked it, but soon after, I was watching the Samuri Champloo anime series with my son and Ikue Asazaki sang this song at a very dramatic crucial point where one of the main characters almost meets his demise and I almost cried, it was so fitting and beautiful. I love it when people introduce me to new and interesting music, so I’m very happy I was able to share something new with you. Thanks for letting me know that you liked it. 🙂 – T.J.
“So do you have any selectees, friends or family you are working on currently?”
Ahh yes, I got some friends and loved ones I am doing my best to slide in some doubt to. You see Charlie, If I can so it slowly and keep up reality with them then we can all be enlightened to the truth and get out of the scientology mind-set together. We call that doing a Leah. Do you want me to explain to you what that means?
“What would Ron do?” LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!
(your ass is grass bud)
COB staff briefing:
“I’ve got good and bad news. The bad news is all liberties, family time and bonuses are permanently cancelled. The good news is there’ll be lots less distraction for all of you to get the show on the road. That’s it for now. Get back on post.”
Old Surfer Dude says
Oh, what a relief! I was so tired of the liberties, family time & bonuses. Hey, when you’re my age, you just want to be left alone…
Sorry to say that being left alone is not an option for the unfortunates who are toiling up at Int. Be happy you’re able to give Dave the middle finger, straight up and vertical. Happy Fourth of July dude!
john Johnson says
The London org staff should be red faced with shame and Miscavige red faced with rage.
Old Surfer Dude says
I’m red faced. Hey, I like face painting…
Sneaky Little Phuq says
Also, to follow another of your always gut-busting analogies, he says that 35 of the 50 people had to have a current customer of the wannbe-IDEAL laundromat “body route” them in; what does this say for the reputation of this laundromat? Well, at the rate of one new client walking in a week, which is about 50 a year, it says that out of 10 million people who desperately need to do their laundry, the 15 who showed up without an escort in a the past 50 weeks was how much “good” all the great propoganda of the niblet has done; remind me to bring a nose plug should I ever visit London anytime soon…
Mike, I am sending you huge smiles and all happy thoughts to you and your beautiful bride and little ones, you are making this INDEPENDENCE DAY weekend SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better than it could have possibly been even just a few short years ago, thank you for your blog freeing all of us who were literally drowning in the Kool-Aid!
Nada Jurisich-Fontana says
Great post, you sneaky little phuq?❣
Mike Rinder’s analogies rock!
50 resignations brought in by FSMs is nothing to brag about. ?
Victoria Pandora says
Yes, that’s what I was thinking;) Poor boy has a MU.
Victoria, I get the feeling that resignations must be highest ever.
That’s what I was thinking too! I had to read that sentence a few times before I understood it meant that people were going to “re-sign” and not resign. Confusing wording, eh? – T.J.
Correction – 35 of those 50 weekly resignations were brought in by FSMs. At that rate there’ll be 2,600 fewer Scientologists a year. That means in 10 years it’ll disappear. Sounds about right.
roger gonnet says
Great! Similar to Paris and the whole of french orgs!
Jose Chung says
One a week? by an FSM ?
My question is was the FSM holding the new public by their Ears ?
Mike, I really want to know how many laundromats are there in London?
I mean I already know Scientology has gone belly up in the UK long ago.
Years ago CCHR Int. dscovered that every 15 minutes somebody was
Electro Shocked in Europe. So between the Psychs and Scientology
the stats do not look at all well for Scientology.
Buber Zionist (@buberzionist) says
AllInLondon.co.uk lists about 580 laundromats in London, including one called Dirty Harry’s.
Scientology is very good at airing ex-members dirty laundry in public.
Not to toot my own horn…but, when I was the Public Reg in the late 80s/early 90s I would consistently get 7 new service starts, probably averaged 10, and maxed out at 21 – per week. This was myself and a single 6A staff member.
A single Div 6 start per week – unbelievable.
Ann B Watson says
Hi statpush, Good to see your post.I had to re-read that sentence three times because I could not believe it! I certainly believe you,I was Div 2 @ Asho F but at both D & F many years gone,Div 6 was humming!The whole Org was so packed at times the energy was really strong,and look at Asho now.Dead and RIP.XO Ann B.
Old Surfer Dude says
I was Div 6 at the Honolulu mission. I brought in more people than anyone else, I also sold more bookw (soft and hard cover) than anyone. I brought in so many one day, the Wogs were getting a bit put out because they had to wait so long to find out how fucked up they were!
So…take that statpush!
Roger Y says
Mike, your laundromat/London analogy is perfect. Even for a “never in” like me, your analogy makes the usual Scientology mumbo-jumbo 47X straight up & vertical crystal clear. Even with the 3 exclamation points it is an EPIC failure!!!
Philip Jones says
That letter was written by Charlie Wakley, who is the son of Nick and Nathalie of the White House near Saint Hill. This past year Nathalie was at Flag doing OT (5 if I remember right), so she is still in. I’m not sure what Nick is doing these days.
If 35 of the 50 Div 6 to Div 2 re-signs were from FSMs, then they had only 15 from their body routing or ‘walk-ins’ for the whole year. The Ideal Screens in the public area don’t seem to be too effective.
Philip, that’s the idea – the “video palaces” are meant to be ineffective. But the Orgs undoubtedly had to fork out for the videos – wonder who made a commission on those?
Hey here’s some fun math. Scientology claims to have millions of members who are serviced by 150 orgs. (not counting missions/AOs/Flag/Freewinds)
Let’s say we’re teleported back to 2003 and we have the job of raising funds for 150 ideal orgs. In the 90’s Scientology claimed 6 million members so let’s us this number just to give them the benefit of the doubt. Let’s say the average amount per Ideal org is 30 million dollars. (This fluctuates based on property values, exchange rates, etc. The Atlanta org cost 22 million dollars end of the day)
So, world-wide 150 Ideal orgs, each costing 30 million $ each, come out to 4.5 billion dollars to get every org ideal. Yikes, sounds like a lot!
But wait, we have 6 million members to fleece. 4,500,000$ divided by 6,000,000 members = 750$ each.
That’s right, if each Scientologist just gave the equivalent to 750USD, every org would be done. I’m pretty sure 750 is less than the cost of the Purification rundown.
I know my numbers are a little inaccurate but the concept is the same. Either the church has been WAY over-collecting money from certain people (why have humanitarians if you only need ~750$?) or it doesn’t have anything close to 6 million. Or Both.
Mary Smith says
I believe 20,000 is a good number, so then the number is $22,500 each. But many of the 20,000 are families, so probably less than 9,000 households.
“…would you like to come and see me for some drilling or advice?” Mr. Wakley, I choose the advice but instead of coming to see you perhaps you could just email it to me.
Ann B Watson says
Hi Roger, I do not think Mr.Wakley would want to see either of us SPs for drilling or advice!What a weird question ” do you have any selectees etc you are currently working on? ” Sounds so spiritual lol! It is the currently working on part that gives me chills.What a Church! XXOO Ann B.