It is a very warped world inside the scientology bubble.
Occasionally we get a glimpse that is not just the “We ARE Clearing ____city, country, the planet” or “we are expanding faster than ever in history” or the wildly overused “monumental, epic, highest ever, greatest in history, golden age” etc etc
Here we have some reality. The Senior C/S Kansas City is trying to get some more tech staff to join his 12 auditors (a number he seems strangely quite proud of…)
He tries to sell the upsides of Kansas City — move here and join staff because we have trees, hills, fountains and music — but he also slips in some inadvertent clangers.
First, he has been there for more than 21 years — absolute proof according to Hubbard that his tech is terrible and he is off purpose, otherwise this place would be way beyond St. Hill Size by now. Apparently he makes his money through real estate and is NOT making a living as a staff member. Another massive no-no according to Hubbard.
But, let’s focus on the REAL problem.
There are, according to Dan, 2.3 million people in the city (let’s not count all the rest of the midwest this org is supposed to be responsible for). And yet they are PROUD of making 20 Clears last YEAR. Yes, not 20 in a week or a day, but 20 in a year.
They probably hope they will 10 times their stats moving into this new building. They have been told this is what will happen, but based on all other orgs — they will likely see a one or two week increase and then sink back to previous levels. But to be charitable let’s give them 10X expansion.
This would mean 200 Clears in a year.
The area population is increasing about 1.5% per annum. Which is about 35,000 people each year.
They are so far off the correct order of magnitude to make Clearing their area a reality it isn’t funny. Just to keep up and not have Kansas City become LESS CLEAR, they would have to make 100 Clears EVERY DAY.
Sorry Dan, things really ARE hopeless.
But good luck with your PTS to the Middle Class real estate stuff. Should get you a big commendation from RTC.
Kansas City is a big fail.
But a roaring success compared to Ventura or Albuquerque or any org in Canada or France, or, or, or…
Francis Khoury says
From the local news in KC:
“At the time , the Kansas City Scientology organization said it had about 10,000 active members, according to The Star’s report.”
There seemed to be a period around then, when they liked to make such claims about having a large membership that justified their “expansion” into new facilities. That must have been something like the old “ever bought a book or took a course” count – basically, everyone with a folder in the infamous central files.
They apparently no longer dare make such outlandish claims, due to all the exposure that they’ve gotten in recent years – such claims might even run the risk of making people too “curious,” because if you google “how many members does scientology have?” the results aren’t pretty. So much for “expansion.”
One clear is one too many…..
Kansas City Missouri. I drive by the building every day on my way to work. They bought the building in 2007 and it has sat empty until the beginning of this year when the remodeling began. There are very few people happy about the move to this new location.
I’d like to know how many trained auditors they really have, and how many actual new clears they made. Anyone new they try to train is likely to get ripped off by higher level orgs in the process. And given that the average org these days seems to have 50 to 60 active members – about what’s shown in some KC fundraiser promo photos from last year – I can’t believe they’re actually making anywhere near that many clears unless they are counting re-dos, or even their cumulative total ever since they became an org, so there almost has to be some weasel-wording or stat-fudging going on.
And I’d love to hear some insider accounts of what’s actually going on in the KC org. As one of the last orgs to go “ideal” they’re probably not a whole lot better off than St. Louis, which we were fortunate to get some pretty detailed – and dismal – reports about here, and the KC metro area population is actually smaller.
I checked their Facebook page, and it wasn’t started until the Scientology Network debut last spring, and then hasn’t been updated since – no pictures of people holding certificates. That used to be a sign of the most hopeless of the small and failing orgs, as Scientology seemed to be on a push to require orgs to use social media, but I also checked a couple of major orgs to verify the state of that, and it looks as if they’ve mostly given up.
So I thought to go back to a couple of orgs that I know I’d looked up before on Facebook, and this rather surprised me: they even seem to have scrubbed some of the Facebook accounts of small and failing orgs that were posting amateur photos which tended to reveal the sorry state of things.
‘Aquamarine ‘ – you have too much time on your hands.
It would appear so, wouldn’t it? 🙂
But actually, no.
I have a small business plus an admin desk job and work an average of 50 hours a week including evenings and frequently either Saturday or Sunday.
The admin job is pretty rote but my business can get kind of intense and high pressure because it is commission.
Aside from being in solidarity with people abused by the cult, aside from wanting to keep up to date with what’s happening with the cult, coming here to Mikes’ to read and post is one of my ways to unwind, blow off steam, unclutter my head before resuming work. Its like – a different universe for a while. I can read and post, be serious sometimes, be utterly silly sometimes, clear my head and then go back to work, all while at the same desk. Mental escape. What can I tell you?
Reading is also a great escape. I’m addicted to detective fiction. And great films I missed when they first came out. Mental Escape! Works for me 🙂
I Yawnalot says
I like your response Aqua.
Seattle Slough says
He doesn’t say they made 20 clears last year. He says they made “over 20 clears” last year. That’s at least 21 and who knows, “over 20” could be, like, fifty thousand? Fifty thousand is over 20. That seems legit.
10 x 50,000 would be impressive.
Kat LaRue says
there is no reality in the scion bubble. Anyone can say anything they want to and its accepted as gospel. Doesn’t anyone in this cult ever do any fact checking? SMH.
No. Facts are irrelevant within $cientology.
Who needs facts in the cult? They have a plethora of fancy-sounding substitutes that lock in the indoctrination and delusion: mock-ups, considerations, postulates, as-is-ness, alter-is-ness, not-is-ness…and wankingness, statusness, bankruptness, glee, ass-hattedness, arrogance, bitch-slappingness, face-rippingness, disconnectedness…
“…ass-hattedness…bitch-slappingness, face-rippingness…” 🙂 🙂 🙂
Dr. Sean McMeekin once said that Kansas City was weird.
Chris Shugart says
With apologies to Wilbert Harrison:
Well I might take a train
I might take a plane
But if I have to run
I’m leavin’ just the same
Blowin’ Kansas City
Kansas City here I go
They got a crazy little church there
And I aint goin’ back no mo’
Mike Rinder said: “But a roaring success compared to Ventura or Albuquerque or any org in Canada or France, or, or, or…”
Sweden. Don’t forget Sweden. One of our Swedish friends reminded us of that yesterday.
Yeah dont forget Sweden ???
Mariette Lindsteins books is very good. She blown after 20 years in the crazy cult.
I wish they would publish it for Kindle!
EVEN DOROTHY DIDN’T WANT TO LIVE IN KANSAS:
YOU MAY “GO CLEAR” BUT THAT’S ABOUT ALL YOU MIGHT HAVE
The way Kansas was depicted in that film, no one in their right mind would want to live there. That said, I’m sure Kansas has its own brand of flat-out beauty, pun intended.
Off topic and no offense to Kansas or anyone who lives there and loves it.
I was probably the only one who wanted Dorothy to stay in OZ.
Let’s take a look:
* Dorothy is an orphan with no siblings being raised by her much older Aunt and Uncle, Emily and Henry Gale on their Kansas farm.
* Aunty Em is a menopausal pill who is kind of mean to people, with no time for her.
* Uncle Henry is pleasant enough but a milquetoast completely under Em’s thumb.
* The farmhands like her but are busy earning their keep.
* Dorothy apparently does not go to school.
* She doesn’t seem to have any friends.
* The farm is just awful.
* The only brite spot in her life is the love and attention she gets from her dog Toto.
* Their nearest neighbor, who also happens to most of the county, is Miss Gulch, a computing psychotic whose sole purpose in life is to destroy this little animal.
Now, under these circumstances, and in this condition, Dorothy, by some incredible luck, in her house, courtesy of a tornado manages to crash into Munchkinland in the Land of OZ wherein:
* She is IMMEDIATELY loved, admired and feted by the Munchins, adorable little social personalitY types who are so grateful to Dorothy because – more good luck – when her house crashed it killed The Wicked Witch of The East, a suppressive who had been tyrannizing over them for ages.. They want to make her their QUEEN. They adore her and are themselves adorable. Ok, to continue:
* Glinda, Good Witch of the North appears. She is kind, understanding, gentle, wise and beautiful. She cares about Dorothy. A marvelous mother figure, Glinda gives her the dead evil witch’s Ruby Slippers, which have magic powers to guard and protect anyone who owns them.
* OZ is beautiful. Full of life and color.
* She even has Toto. Her beloved pet is with her in OZ.
* She encounters the Scarecrow, the Tin Woodman and the Cowardly Lion, who bond with her and really care about her.
Now, you’d think she’d be happy?
You’d think she’d be pinching herself at her incredible luck in being off that awful farm and somehow landing in this wonderful, magical place with an opportunity for a new life with people who not only care about her but who love, admire and cherish her.
But no, she’s miserable. She wants to go home. To that dreadful place!
And never MIND that psychotic Gulch is STILL waiting to get her bony mitts on Toto…she wants to go home. ” Waaaa waaaa Auntie Em, Auntie Em, waaaa…”
Stockholm Syndrome, maybe?
Stockholm is in Sweden, isn’t it?
Well, it’s just like our Swedish friend posted yesterday. I think we all have known that Sweden is clearly a forward thinking and advanced nation who thoroughly despises the scam. What more proof could anyone ask for?
AquaMarine has exactly the right amount of time on her hands and you can take that to the bank. Just don’t take any scam members with you or they may clean out your accounts while you are there.
Sky, my friend,
You had to have been Prince Valiant in another life 🙂
As noted, seems like with those deeply entrenched within the realm of COS or FLDS or any other mind control CULT….FEAR is a great motivator to stay IN.
Ahhh…Dorothy….there’s no place like home…the ONLY place you’ve ever known and are “use to”…..while wearing those damned rose colored glasses. the outside world is a colorful FANTASY while the inside it’s ALL Black & White….like those Sea Org Uniforms…. lol!
Aqua, lots of ways to look at it. Here’s 2 more.
A girl travels to a strange land and kills someone. Then she roams around the countryside until she kills again.
A young girl is ripped away from her loving family and taken to a new place, let’s call it Cult. Once in Cult, she is love bombed with gifts and praise. Cult is a very science fiction-y place, but most everyone she meets is nice, although she does run into some beings who enjoy making her life miserable. At one point she is held against her will. She finally sees behind the curtain that the leader has no special abilities (other than the gift of gab) and has built his power around deceiving others. So she goes home where her loving family is overjoyed at her return.
Ammo Alamo says
This is supposed to show the vitality of KC. Instead, it shows that they are a stagnant and dying org with a couple of old-timer never-enders holding the fort against the forces of apathy and reality. KC needs an Ideal Morgue for one reason only – because Miscavige demands it.
Since they live in a bubble of lies, it makes no sense to point out the truth. But the truth is that if they had the kind of growth that required the increased space of that new Morg there would already be temporary overflow facilities in use. The whole org would be bursting at the seams, with people running all over each other as they await the opening of the great Morg. Instead of describing the crowded conditions requiring a big new Morg, we get a description of a few auditors, many of whom are just at some unknown point in their training, and a record of a few Clears made in the past year.
That is not the level of activity that will ever support a big new Ideal Morg building. But Miscavige knows that already, and doesn’t care. He just needs to launder more of the CoS tax-exempt winnings into a building, because owning another building won’t raise the ire of the IRS.
The opening of his new Morg will give him a chance for a couple of hours of ego-stroking and ribbon-jerking in a carefully protected private area. Then he can fly back to his usual routine of a full night’s sleep, followed by couple of hours of staff browbeating. After watching some sports, and enjoying his chef-prepared meal, he will settle into a lovely evening surfing confidential folders and videos, pausing to enjoy the juicy parts, which he will laugh at along with his best friend Macallan.
Yup, he’s a worldwide wanker
And an Intergallactic Wimp
He’s in love with his banker
Alas, he’s just a Pimp
SSSSUUUURRRRREEEE…..KANSAS CITY!!! MOVE TO TORNADO ALLEY & RISK LOSING IT ALL!….but at leat you may be able to obtain “clear”…..nnnaaahhh….
Ms. B. Haven says
This letter makes absolutely no sense, starting with the first two paragraphs. It only gets worse from there. Any Fool who is even remotely familiar with Hubbard’s ‘data series’ of squirrel logic would know that something is amiss.
The real give away to anyone though is that there is not a single mention of Kansas City barbecue. If Mr. Senior C/S Dan O’Conner had mentioned Kansas City barbecue right off the bat he wouldn’t have had to go on and on and on about parks, real estate, square footage, hills & trees, etc.
Free Minds, Free Hearts says
Sounds swell. More fountains than Rome. How exciting, let’s go there for our family vacation! I was thinking of going to Rome but maybe I should switch to KC?
Old Surfer Dude says
Do we get to pee in the fountains? I always loved doing that. Oh, sure, there might be some screaming, but, what the Hell! A fountain is fun to pee in!
I Yawnalot says
It does beg the question… what if there were two fountains side by side and only one has a seat?
Old Surfer Dude says
That would be MY seat!
I Yawnalot says
I’ll reg you for it.
If any of the locals or visiting “tourist” have been tossing COINS in the fountain, you can bet that those lower level Sea Org kids are scuba diving for a few quarters just to get something to eat.
With a nod to Zappa:
GOING TO KANSAS CITY SOON, GONNA BE A DIANUTTY BUFFOON
GOING TO KANSAS CITY SOON, GONNA BE AN IAS TYCOON
GOING TO KANSAS CITY SOON, GONNA BE TOTALLY BROKE BY JUNE
Here we are…
At St. Elcon Hubbard’s Pancake Breakfast, where I stole the meter can cream…
And pissed in Sea Org rice and beans,
In lieu of cleaning the latrine
Zee Moo says
Is that Kansas City, Kansas or Kansas City Missouri? That that it is important, Fats Domino sang for both of them. Here’s your Dental Floss….
Raisin’ it up, and waxin’ it down, in a little white box, I can sell it uptown…
Old Surfer Dude says
Wait… I thought it was wax on, wax off?
Heh, heh…Karate Kid “Knowingness”?
Frank Zappa was really a member of the scam? Gosh! I never knew that before.
I always wondered why it was that I never appreciated his books. They always distracted me cuz they sounded so much like bad music. And all along the truth was they weren’t even really books. They were just bad cult shit.
I always thought Zappa was just developmentally disabled. I never realized he was actually a cult lunatic. Gosh. This world can be so strange.
OK. But lemme ask you something? Zappa dropped his body about 30 years ago. Surely his Thetan must have inhabited someone who would have become a real world leader by now.
Who do you think that would be? How about Kim Jong Dong? Would he qualify?
Noooo, Frank Zappa, the guitarist/ musician/ composer, was NOT a scientologist?. My silly bits were allusions to 2 songs of his: Montana, and St. Alphonso’s Pancake Breakfast. What I wrote will make more sense if you do an internet search for the lyrics of those songs…
Ms. B. Haven says
Mark, I don’t know if Zappa was ever involved with the cult, it doesn’t fit his character at all. However, the lyrics to Cosmik Debris certainly suggest he maybe did a ‘pinch test’ on the e-meter, saw thru the bullshit and was inspired to write this song.
Yes?, great song; love those lyrics!
Anyway, lots of people took a few courses back in the day when it was popular to check out gurus and groups, and Dianetics and Scientology were even kind of an in thing. The organization always tried to make a big deal out of celebrity involvement, even if it was only through the rumor mill, but typically most people followed the pattern of leaving before long.
Yikes! Sorry! I was just trying to be funny again. I have a very bizarre sense of humor.
I thought the joke was that I thought his music was actually books. But it was just too weird to be a good joke.
I never could appreciate his music. But he was too strong minded to ever join a cult. Of course, that is what I have also thought about others. There is just no relationship between IQ and being susceptible to falling for a cult.
Personally, I think many people may be brilliant but were abused in some way as children and have low self esteem as a result. One of the ways cults seduce people is by having all their members tell the victim just how wonderful they are. I suppose that IQ is often just irrelevant to that kind of attack.
I’ll try to make better jokes in the future. Sorry.
Good point about cults preying on vulnerable people.
No worries about the joke, we’re just having fun here with the bounty of absurd, surreal fuckery the Hellbound Church of Scientology continuously farts and belches out…
Deprogramming in Twin says
Mark – you are hilarious. I enjoy your posts. Thanks for showing up and providing me with some deprograming mixed with Joking and degrading. So funny and true.
Deprogramming in Twin,
May you live long and prosper and laugh a lot!
Speaking of deprogramming, I took an online course entitled LEARNING HOW TO LEARN at the Coursera website that I would HIGHLY recommend for any ex-scientologist. I’d also recommend checking out Steve Hassan’s freedomofmind.com; there are lots of resources on the site. Check out his essay on confusion technique; it’s a central part of the scientology mind-fuck. I also keep Singer’s 6 Conditions For Thought Reform and Lifton’s 8 Criteria For Thought Reform handy, as reminders of what kinds of de-programming, education, rehabilitation, and healing I need to engage in in order to disinfect myself of the cult’s toxicity-and I say this after being out of the cult for 8 years. There are, of course, tons of other books and websites to check out as well…
“Represents”? That would be like me saying, “This $500.00 in my pocket represents $1,000,000.00 in every other person’s pocket.” Meaningless blathering in that you don’t HAVE $1,000,000.00 in your pocket no matter what’s in mine.
C’mon, Wyn, what’s the good of being a Still-In Scientologist if you can’t blather meaninglessly?
True Aqua. Considering that is the best fun they can have without the ethics officer making them pay $ to get out of a lower condition.
Felix Krym says
Ain’t nuthin’ like a bit of cognitive dissonance.
Old Surfer Dude says
Scientology is one big cognitive dissonance. They don’t know if they’re coming or going.
I Yawnalot says
The standard bubble response (for a cool $300k down-payment) concerns a pole and a circular running track. It answers both philosophical questions at the same time, i.e. you are both coming and going simultaneously – how OT is that?
Mary Kahn says
The truth isn’t something members of the church of scientology give a damn about.
Lies and deceit coupled with a big dose of cognitive dissonance.
It’s all about super-duper-maximus-theta levels of kool-aid production AND consumption; gotta keep those ” postulates ” hydrated!???
Old Surfer Dude says
I hydrated my postulate once. It produced a pretty flower.
Old Surfer Dude, resident wizard.??
Old Surfer Dude says
That I am, laddie! It comes from being a Jedi Night…um, I mean Knight.
I Yawnalot says
Roger Larsson says
It’s not all about internet. It’s about world domination because false data slow clams down.