Our old friend Terra Cognita is back with more insight. Sadly, I imagine many readers here can relate to these observations.
I stopped writing regularly about Scientology after I’d said everything I thought I needed to say. I’d climbed out of the rabbit hole. Exorcised my demons. Laughed at the hypocrisy. And finally capped my pen when I felt it was time to move on.
And yet, I still think about Scientology. Not as frequently as during the first couple of years after I’d left, but I still have occasional conversations in my mind with those I left behind—with those still trapped inside the bubble. The church was a big part of my life. All my best friends were Scientologists.
I rarely think of Scientology anymore. My days of events, courses, fundraisers, and writing up overts and withholds are over. Life is good. I have few regrets. And yet, those conversations persist.
Why?
Helping others—especially those close to us—is innate to the human species. Most of us, anyway. LRH wrote in DMSMH that survival was our common denominator. I don’t know if it’s the biggest or the only common denominator, but I agree that we survive best by helping each other. Which brings me back to those imaginary conversations with those I left behind.
I’m not sure what prompts these chats, but they usually occur late at night while I’m trying to fall asleep. They begin innocently enough, usually the result of stumbling upon the subject while flipping through my mind’s card catalog. Less frequently, it’s the result of a recent encounter downtown.
It’s Sunday morning in one of these scenarios. We’re in a restaurant. Me and my wife. There for the huevos rancheros, the best in Santa Barbara. The place is packed, and the hostess tells us the wait will be fifteen to twenty minutes. We turn to go outside when I spot Stan and Sally sitting at a table under a classic Yater surfboard mounted on the wall. Oh. My. God. Do I go over and talk with them or let them be? A wide grin on my wife’s face urges me onward.
“Hey guys! Long time, no see,” I say, stopping in front of their table. “How’s it going?”
I can almost see the gears turning in their heads while they decide whether to talk with us or get up and leave. On one hand, they did nothing to initiate the meeting; they’ve done nothing wrong. They just came in for breakfast, and deep down, they know we’re not true suppressive persons. A little “good roads, good weather” should handle the situation, right? Not only did the man himself, LRH, promote this form of “handling,” Stan and Sally have been involved with Scientology for over forty years. They’ve done countless courses and seminars on communication, completed Grade Zero eons ago, and are Operating Thetans, cause over matter, energy, space, and time. They can deal with this.
Gears continue to grind.
On the other hand, they’re consorting with the enemy. Which means they must have done something to “pull in” me and my wife—must have committed some kind of overt or another. Which means a trip to Ethics—which everyone knows has become increasingly Draconian. Stan and Sally are nearing retirement age—past it, actually—and can’t afford to buy their way out of trouble anymore. They’ve already donated most, if not all, of their savings toward an empty, un-renovated, allegedly Ideal Org located a couple of cities to the south, and neither of them is in great health.
I toss sand in the gears by asking an innocent question. “How’s Finley doing?” Finley is their daughter—our god daughter—who we haven’t seen since they explained they’d have to disconnect from her if she didn’t disconnect from us first.
“Ah…she’s good,” Stan says.
“Still living in Seattle?” my wife asks.
“Uh huh,” Sally answers.
“Has her boyfriend been released from prison, yet?”
“One more year to go,” Stan answers.
“How about Jane and Sean? Taken any trips with them lately?”
Jane and Sean, Stan and Sally, and we used to regularly vacation together. For years. For decades. Our kids; their kids. We were all best friends.
“We saw them a couple of months ago. They’re doing fine,” Sally says.
“Still living in Riverside?”
Nod.
“Did Sean finally get a job?” I ask.
“Yeah; he’s working at a company that makes parts for the airline industry.”
“Sweet.”
“Jane still working as a claims adjuster for that insurance company?”
“Uh, huh.”
Bla, bla, bla. Bla, bla, bla.
What I really want to ask them about is their relationship with Scientology. I know they’re still involved because a short while ago I saw them in a group photo promoting “ideal orgs.” I’m curious if they’ve done anything else on the Bridge. I’m curious about the condition of the local org. I want to know how they’ve been—how they’ve really been.
I want to sit down and explain how Scientology really is a classic cult. How it fits all the standard definitions. How it actually does more harm than good. I want them to wake up!
I want to tell them how great life’s been since we left. How many new friends we’ve made. All the trips we’ve taken. All the fun we’ve been having hiking and riding and experiencing the super-blooms all over Southern California.
I want to know why they’re still connected with Scientology. I want to know why they haven’t made the break like most of the others in the area. I want to know how they can continue to believe in tech and policy that makes little sense. I want them to know that there is life after Scientology. A better life. A life outside the bubble. I want to help them to see the light!
I want to tell them about everything I’ve learned since I left. I want them to know David Miscavige is not only a crook, but that the man is crazy—both by conventional standards, and by LRH’s own words. I want to tell them the Hole is real. I want to explain how LRH wasn’t all he was cracked up to be; how he subtly manipulated people, and how much of what he wrote is BS and was written specifically to deceive and mislead. I want them to know that most of what they’ve read about his involvement in WWII is a lie. I want them to know how he really treated others. I want them to know that he died a broken, drug-addicted recluse.
But of course, I can’t say these things. Not only are Stan and Sally not able to “have” the truth, they’re scared of the consequences of just being in our presence. Anxiety and worry are plastered across their faces— akin to the fear I used to see on the faces of those I interviewed on the streets during one of the Tone Scale drills.
I want to communicate with my old buds! Really communicate with them. Unimpeded by the threat of Ethics. Because I really want to help them. Because we have a long history together. We broke bread. Partied. Went to movies. Vacationed together. Celebrated holidays and births. Watched our kids grow up. I love Stan and Sally. I care about them. I want to help them. Because I’m human. And that’s what good humans do.
I can’t help myself. “So…how’s the Org?” I ask. “Getting ready for the big move to Ventura?”
“Soon,” Stan says—without much enthusiasm or sincerity.
“Great,” I acknowledge—without really meaning it.
Once again, I can’t help myself. “Just for the record…do you guys really think we’re SPs?”
Stan and Sally glance at each other. Stan says, “Maybe not a true two and half percenter, but you did violate policy.”
“And which policy was that?”
Stan and Sally exchange more uncomfortable glances. Both their faces have become flushed. I shouldn’t have asked.
Stan says, “We really can’t talk about it.”
“Of course you can’t,” I say. Then add—because I still can’t help myself, “You did attest to being able to communicate freely with anyone on any subject, right?”
“I’m just just choosing not to.”
Of course you are. Blinder-free, self-determined, a man in control of his own destiny! I feel like slapping him and shouting to wake-the-fuck-up.
Instead, I nod and say, “Right.”
More uncomfortable silence.
A waiter arrives with Stan and Sally’s breakfasts. Sunny-side-up eggs and corned beef hash for Stan. Yogurt and granola for Sally.
“Well…if you ever need anything,” I say, “or if you just want to talk…you know where to find us.”
Stan nods. Sally nods. Weak smiles strain the sides of their mouths.
I say goodbye. My wife says goodbye. Weak smiles strain the sides of our mouths.
Later, over our huevos rancheros, all the things I should have said flash through my mind.
Little is more exasperating than trying to communicate with a thoroughly brainwashed friend. Little is more frustrating than wanting to help someone you love who doesn’t think they need help, who thinks they’re “flourishing and prospering,” despite all indicators to the contrary.
That said…I continue to hope that one of these days we will once again share breakfasts together.
Still not Declared,
Terra Cognita
Great piece Mike. Please watch the live stream I tweeted to you last night. Nathaniel and Steven were great.
You have to let go of the Scientology label. ALL cults are one and the same. They are led by the same power hungry energy soul thieves. EVERY cult leader is a disgusting vampire sucking the life out of its members/victims. They get high on other people’s energies. It doesn’t matter what label or spin they use to title their workings. Take away the label and you will see that there is two types of people. The type that steal other peoples energy and the people that generate their own energy. That’s why they prey on vibrant bright intelligent souls.
I am on the West Coast and am on staff. I have been lurking here for a few days. Freaking out!
I think I will be blowing soon.
Good! Feel free to write me. I’m in LA.
Please do Shannon. I’m a “never in” but am horrified by the experiences told by exes.
Take care and stay safe!
Please get out if you can. The cult is actually a little dangerous, and if things start falling apart and people start leaving rapidly, it could be harder to escape.
kat
Or, we could put the shoe on the other foot, to wit: Mr & Mrs Churchie see Terra in restaurant and inwardly groan. Husband says to wife “Oh No! It’s that Terra Noncognito dude, you know, the one who thought he always knew best and was arguing with the course supervisor all the time about the meaning of words and that the words of processes should be changed and that one should go beyond EPs of processes every time.” Wife replies “oh! him! Yes it’s no wonder he blew, I always remember his blank stare when I gave him a star-rate checkout and he didn’t know what ‘Remimeo’ meant, let alone ‘of’ and ‘the’. Ignore him, he might go away! Oh! God he’s coming over, he’ll try and make us wrong for his MisUs. Humor him and he might squirrel off somewhere!”
Yeah, sadly you miss the point as usual… if that was their choice it would be one thing. But it’s not. Mr. and Mrs. Churchie are sitting there terrified someone might see them and turn them in to their “church” and they will have to cough up more cash to get out of ethics trouble for concerting with the enemy.
Trying to justify disconnection as being good isn’t going to fly with those who have lost children or other family members to the toxic teachings of Hubbard. Not even to those who “only” lost friends or their job. It doesn’t even get anywhere with people who have lost nothing personally but have an ounce of empathy.
You have once again, sadly, highlighted the real mindset of a true scientologist.
Thank you for your service to the cause of ending the abuses. You are a reminder of what the fight is about.
In my low times I wonder if I’ll ever be free of the past traumas of a cult. But I agree…sometimes people have to be reminded of how far they really have journeyed through healing in order to carry on with exposing these cults. I dont really have much of an opportunity to expose the cult i was in because it was a small cult involving a few families. I feel jipped out sometimes that nobody knows about it except for a few friends. But it is always interesting to me to read things on social media of people who cut down others. It is a good reminder to keep going. It adds a bit of ammo to the cause. Everyone serves a purpose.
Hey Fool where you been?
I posted a question for you and got no response so I’ll repost here for you 😉
Lee says
June 11, 2019 at 6:26 pm
Foolproof your silence is deafening.
Either the “tech” worked and Hubblard was defrauding the government by receiving Disability payments when there was nothing wrong with him…
OR the “tech” doesn’t/never did work and he was defrauding his parishioners…
Which is it?
Either way he was a FRAUD!
Oh and P.S to everyone l’m posting under a different name because I saw someone else posting under Lee (pain in ass at times how common my name is lol). Trying to save any confusion that’s all 🙂
Haha! What do we have here? Another budding “investigative journalist” it seems! If this is the best you can come up with as a party piece at your rat’s nest meetings of anti-Scientologists I suggest you find another script writer. Hubbard himself mentions this whole scene in one of his tapes and of course our “investigative journalist” here has gotten the wrong end of the stick as usual.
As to anyone worrying how many Lees there are, I wouldn’t worry about that either, no one else is.
As usual not answering the question Fool but instead resorting to what you seem to think are insults and snide remarks….
I’m thinking documented PROOF of what was done is more reliable than a FRAUDS word, but if you wanna keep believing that then more FOOL you.
Maybe if you actually answered some of our questions you might be taken a bit more seriously.
Oh and btw I’m not really worried about what you think of me changing name Fool, I said that more for other people.
Now after posting a comment full of insults about Hubbard you wail and bleat because you think you have been insulted. This is par for the course here.
You seem to be really stuck on this wonderful piece of trivia from 1946 or so that nobody cares about and using your misconstruing of it as some sort of reason why you think that Scientology doesn’t work. For a start neither Scientology nor Dianetics were invented then but, well, let’s hear what you have to say about it then? AFAIK he cured himself of damaged eyesight with (the forerunner of) Dianetics and was claiming disability up to that point. Maybe he claimed it after that, I don’t know – who cares? So what exactly is your point? Are you hoping for some blinding realization that because of this the whole edifice of Dianetics and Scientology will come crumbling down and your marvellous detective work will be the cause? Why don’t you try the usual line of “the e-meter works on sweat” or “the soul doesn’t exist”. And let’s face it, even if your theory were proved to be nonsense, which it probably is, and who cares either way, your anti-Scientology stance would still the be the same so don’t try and make out otherwise by quoting “our questions” as if you are being innocently inquisitive.
As to answering questions, I have one for you: “What question shouldn’t be asked of you?” That should put the cat among your pigeons eh?
Lol
Fool says…
“Now after posting a comment full of insults about Hubbard you wail and bleat because you think you have been insulted. This is par for the course here.”
I stated TRUTH and FACTS but Hubblard preferred SciFi didn’t he, hmm?
And THIS is wailing and bleating??? Lol
“As usual not answering the question Fool but instead resorting to what you seem to think are insults and snide remarks….”
WOW! Just… Wow 😂
Fool says…
“AFAIK he cured himself of damaged eyesight with (the forerunner of) Dianetics and was claiming disability up to that point. Maybe he claimed it after that, I don’t know – who cares? So what exactly is your point?”
Lmao who cares? I bet tax payers would since they were paying a FRAUD disability!
Also I made my point already, he.was.a.FRAUD.
Damn I’m banging my head against a brick wall here 😒
I won’t say the soul doesn’t exist because I do believe it does 😝
And lastly Fool asks….
“As to answering questions, I have one for you: “What question shouldn’t be asked of you?” That should put the cat among your pigeons eh?”
Trying to find my “ruin” now Fool???
Lmao
Ah dear $camotologists are soooo predictable 😉
Hah! Not a “FACT” nor “TRUTH” in fact in sight then from the Wicked Wizard of Oz AKA “Lee” – Ace of Trivia Detecives – as he doesn’t like to be confused with other Lees – whoever they are.
You should team up with Peacemaker – he also is fond of meaningless trivia and will spend all of his time on wild goose chases of “research” and post long reams of it that no one bothers to read.
As to “finding your ruin” you haven’t got a clue what you are talking about, but then that was obvious anyway.
So what’s going to be your next line of attack then – try the “e-meter works on sweat” – always good for a laugh – ask Jon Sweeney.
Fool grow a brain and wake up 🤦♀️
Btw I’m a she not he…..geez your superpowers are doing wonders for you aren’t they 😉
I’m sooo bored of you now….
Insults about Hubbard? Insults? Now thst’s hilarious, or would be if it wasn’t so sad. Defending a useless miserable con man who’s been dead for decades. If you only knew who Hubbard really was, your mind would explode.
Lee —
Fool is apparently obsessed with people who have the same name; as if no one could possibly have the same name as someone else.
He once tried to accuse me of being the same person as Kat LaRue. Apparently only one Kat/Katherine exists in his mind.
Hey Kat 🙂
It’s a scary thought to think of what’s in Fools mind, black hole I think lol 😉
Foolproof I was declared (I think so) for posting my story and aplogia at ESMB. Why ru not declared for reading and posting here?
Good question, Civmar. Even if you write with a pen name on the blogs, the church works full time to find your real identity. They did with me. And I would hazard a guess that Fool Proof is not declared because he is an OSA SO Member whose post IS to create havoc with the commenters on Mike’s blog as a troll. The fact that he is not declared seems to be proof he is a troll working for the church IMHO.
Cindy you really should take a leaf out of Aqua’s book and read what she says. You were always pretty fair a couple of years back but it seems you are now on a dwindling spiral of miscomprehension, due no doubt to hob-nobbing with this crowd and letting them eat away at your thetan.
Er, because I am not a suppressive! And ESMB is the graveyard of the long gone.
You’re not a suppressive?
That’s cute.
ESMB is alive and well. “Graveyard of the long gone”? And???
People’s horror stories from inside $cientology are relevant no matter when they happened.
I don’t believe you’re out of the Co$; I think you pretend to be. Most “indies” who post here and elsewhere almost never defend Hubbard’s cruel & disgusting policies. But you do… constantly.
My heart breaks for those who have lost family to disconnection. Those of us who have lost friends have lost much as well. Not only are the memories created with the times spent together not able to be shared, but the years of togetherness being ripped apart can be a deep and painful gouge.
When you live near those you loved deeply as friends and they won’t talk to you it just shows how wrong Scientology is.
To say that Terra misunderstood words in Scientology and that caused him/her to leave is a great example of ‘evaluation.’ Foolproof, as you know from your training in the cherch, ‘evaluation’ of a person’s case (their mental baggage, pain, opinions etc.) is not done. To make assumptions and throw those out as a way to denigrate their story and experience sounds very OSA bot-ish to me. It’s hateful, insulting and often amusing. Not however convincing or vaguely plausible.
Why insult someone who shares that they miss a friend who disconnected from them? Why make it all about reasons why they left? And make up reasons? Where is the logic in this insulting comment?
Firstly you have a complete misunderstood on the word “evaluation” as used in Scientology and secondly it seems that Terra’s lust to attack Scientology outweighs his desire to be on friendly terms with his former friends.
I left almost 20 years ago and I think about it less and less–but because of how long I was in and because I got into it at such a formidable age, I think the trauma of the brainwashing will always be with me, like a rape. I did not leave family behind, but I left friends who were like family. I seemed to break off (disconnected) with them one by one as the years went by, one as recent as late last year: my best, decades-long girlfriend. I really wish I’d have ripped the band-aid off in one fell swoop so I didn’t have to relive every break up with every friend every few years when they came to find my true anti-Scientology views. It didn’t matter how fair I tried to be. It was never reciprocated in the slightest. I was never EVER granted any “beingness” for my views and had to suppress my concern for them most of the time, tippy-toeing as to never rock the boat, always trying to protect their “case” or their position on the bridge or whatever. I never wanted to “enturbulate” them. But who cares? They don’t see love in the same way. An SP is an SP is an SP.
This last break up made me see that every relationship was going to inevitably wind up the same–shut down, shut out, and all ties cut. But you know, as much as it hurt, and it fucking killed me, and I mean it left me devastated (she said she’d never let the differing views about Scientology come between us), I am free now. I am done. No more Scientologists are in my life anymore and I realize I can’t save them by myself: NOT IF THEY DON’T WANT IT. And not even if they aren’t patient enough with people that don’t see it the same exact way as they do.
On a good note, I think I have influenced a few people to leave. I know I have as a matter of fact, and there may be some that I may or may not have had a hand in. I don’t know. I hope my book helps deter people. I hope it’s a fair assessment of what happens inside the cult. I hope someone inside–if they so happen to read it, sees some truth in it for themselves. But if not, I can’t feel responsible anymore. I have to leave that whole “I’m 100% responsible for everything” thing behind me now. That’s the only way to make those little conversations in my head go away. So far, it’s actually working. Or, I’m working at it anyway.
Thank you TC.
I’m not able to say what I should to those who have disconected from me but I carry on the conversations in my head also.
2 weekends ago on Sunday afternoon I got a text from daughter #1 that disconnected daughter #3 was arriving at her campground in a few hours. I was 5 miles away at another campground. Instead of driving over to at least wave to her, I stayed put thinking well – if she wants to see me I’m here. If not so be it. She didn’t visit. We left Monday 2p and of course for a few days what could have been rolled around in my mind. Maybe I should have gone to her?
Waste of thinking! I do what I’m up to at the moment.
I no longer dream and wish my past different. It’s so much more fun to simply change the present and thus the future.
I and puppie are spending the day hiking a local canyon. More rewarding and lasting then a round of TRs 😀
Scamologists are emotionally, ethically, intellectually, educationally and morally crippled persons.
Those left inside are a given path…I believe there is little we can do to change their minds…they have to do that. However, Mike and Leah’s show and this blog along with the FB pages DO influence those who might be considering getting in. That’s the miracle! Save others from being duped by the love bombing that goes on…but only in the beginning…so the frog can be slowly boiled. Soon enough it’s all stats and more stats and heavy handed pressure for money and more money and more money. Eventually the truth is exposed…always. But it takes brave souls to do that like Mike and Leah and TC here. Thanks for your thoughtful article TC.
I doubt that any of us will ever forget our time in scio. It was a very impactful part of our lives. Without having been in scio, I would not have met and married the incredible woman I did. The 16 years I was in was a very cheap price to pay for that.
She was SO and her memories are far more intense. We often talk about some new awareness which actually came out of having been IN.
Those still in have further lessons to learn. Some will die before they complete that chore. So be it. My feeling “bad” for them achieves nothing for me or them, thus I don’t do that. As well, I’ve managed to have/keep friendships with quite a few very powerful beings who have also left.
Scio was a part of my life, for whatever reason. I treasure the good times, value the lessons and keep my love going for those still in who have disconnected from me.
Will I live again? ¿Quien? sabe! I’ve had some personal experiences which indicate to me that this is possible. And if I’m “wrong”, I’ll never feel badly about it. LOL
Correct me if I´m wrong/misunderstanding here, english is not my Native language.
Isn´t the Signature “Foolproof” and the comment above from June 16, 2019 at 4:17 am written in Tone 1.1?
Is it from OSA or something?
Stefan, Foolproof is quite insane. Mike lets him post so that new people can see what scamology can do to a person’s sanity. A living example of a victim of the cult who now seeks to victimize others.
Amen to that. Such a sad wasted life mr. fool
At least he dares to communicatein some way! Good idea from Mike to let “the other side” have its voice – however Foolproof seems to be quite lonely, how come the rep´s from the Cult or the ecclesiastical Leader don´t dare? As Mike wrote earlier:
“PS: If you want to present your side, we have invited you to appear on EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of the Aftermath and you have refused EVERY SINGLE TIME. Scared much? “
Stefan, the leader of the cult (both leaders) has always been scared to death of almost everyone due to being a vicious criminal. Those type of people go into hiding to avoid being brought to justice by their victims…
Stefan, I realize that English is not your native language, but let me make a correction here. Fool doesn’t “dare” communicate here. He communicates (if you can call it that) willingly. He is, in fact, nothing more than a common internet troll working for OSA who is here only to stir up shit and deflect people from the topic of the day. He is obviously an intelligent person fully capable of interacting with others in a civil way but chooses not to because of his dedication to the cult. Sad indeed. Don’t waste your time with him. It’s kind of fun but you will have better results attempting to communicate in an honest way with any inanimate object you choose.
Ha! This confirms the level of your ability to evaluate data.
Point proven fool…
Well, if you’d done your Tone Scale Drills like a good boy you wouldn’t need to ask daft and obviously answered questions. Yes, the comment is of course 1.1 but I am seeking to bring people up tone here! (Now that was really 1.1 but most on here are too low toned to see the joke – getting better with every phrase now! Haha!)
I wish it were easier to ” Exorcise my demons. Laugh at the hypocrisy. And cap my pen to move on.”
I just CAN’T move on.
People are getting hurt.
As Mike Rinder has so eloquently stated on his blog AND walked his talk…
SOMETHING MUST BE DONE ABOUT IT!
If Scientology is not shut down, your children’s children could be victims.
I don’t want that for the World. I want a Scientology FREE World.
I won’t stop or give up ever.
I can’t get that out of my mind.
I will fight the cause until Scientology is shut down and David Miscavige is in prison for his crimes against humanity.
Haha! Hello Terra – I see you’ve given up trying to interpret HCOBs after my cramming and moved on to the old stalwart of restimulating mutual out-rudiments – always goes down well here. I thought about replying to Mike’s recent missive about LRH but as there was no real substance in the scraping-of-the-barrel story I didn’t bother but I couldn’t let you get away with a comment or maybe 2 or more – depending on how things pan out.
BTW has the Gleefully Misunderstood Club been disbanded now or will you consider enrolling Jesuit George and Brain (sic) as founding members and making a fresh start? How about looking up the word “Remimeo” – for a start that is.
Good luck in not thinking about Scientology ever again – it’ll never work!
Our ADD poster boy strikes again.
I figured we’d hear from Foolproof today. He always shows up when Terra does – I have a feeling he has an assignment to always try to undermine him. Proof, if any is needed, of what a good, insightful job Terra does with his writings!
Damn scamology TROLL you just love to hate on Terra don’t you? So predictable. What are your new crimes now?
Stoolpoop back again for another dump, no doubt approved by Dave, the diminutive defecator and his OSA cheerleaders. Damn, I need to take a shower!
The polished turd speaks. Drivel as usual. Ah, “Remimeo”, the brain fart nonsense word created by Lub O’Tard that has no meaning outside $camology and can therefore be ignored without fear or favour.
And…
Foolproof,
I believe there are a few people on this blog who don’t know that you are no longer a member of the Church of Scientology, but are instead an Indie Scientologist.
In fact, you left the official CO$ a number of years ago (I don’t know exactly how long ago and its not really important.)
Now, I’m stating this here not because I believe you require me or anyone as a defender of your beliefs, because you certainly don’t need THAT.
I’m stating this just for the sake of pure accuracy; you’re not OSA, you left Miscavige’s church, you’re an Indie Scientologist passionately devoted to practicing and defending LRH’s auditing and training tech.
Foolproof, am I correct?
Again, there’s no sense in anyone believing, erroneously, that you are OSA. I’m sure Mike knowsyou are pro-LRH and anti-Miscavige and as such not OSA,
Now, don’t worry, even though I’m setting the record straight here, there are plenty of people on this blog who will still hate your guts and fight with you 🙂
I know that’s important to you 🙂
Aqua – you speak sooth, unlike the vast majority here. In other words for the illiterates here, she is correct in her summation.
Thanks for the clarification.
*yawn*…..
I got bored halfway through your post, sorry.
Ah! Katherine Invalidate doing what she does best. And no need to apologize, just find the word misunderstood.
Nope. Still boring.
VERY nicely done, TC. Both the event, and your report. Wish I could as well, but I get too verbose.
After “only” 10 years “in” and 40 years recovering, I can’t stop wondering how the friends I left behind fared. Thankfully, I’ve made bunches of friends since, so I don’t think about the false scientology friends TOO much, since they were only “my friends” as long as I was contributing to the ’cause’ and didn’t make waves. Ya’ know, I doubt that most of them have wasted 30 seconds thinking about me since I rode away.
It’s not as if I’m hiding when I’m using my real name on all my comments and such. Heck, I haven’t even changed my address or phone #, and NONE have contacted me other than the “FSM” trying to get me to pay a “freeloader’s debt” I never received notice of. (“routing out” was ‘somewhat laid-back’ for me.)
Oh, I’d forgotten.
It’s OK for FSMs to contact anyone even SPs.
It’s allso OK for Booksellers if there is money on account.
Thank you for your thoughts 😉
That LRH wrote something is pointless. His ouvre demonstrates beyond any doubt that he was incapable of not producing volumes upon volumes upon volumes of delusional Hubbardian grandiosity.
“the human species” … “LRH wrote in DMSMH that survival was our common denominator”
LOL. For bacteria too. All life forms have that in common. No doubt LRH was certain that this observation was of cosmic significance since he was such a big being capable of such stunning intellectual discoveries.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder with a long-term pattern of abnormal behavior characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance, excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.
PTS-SP, there’s also HUBBARD’S LAW OF COMMOTION, as SPs have dubbed it: For each and every policy or piece of tech, there is an equal and opposite policy and piece of tech.
That leaves his followers and organizational flunkies acting like many religious fundamentalists and fanatics, combing through everything to find something they think illuminates or supports a particular position.
Hubbard, as a narcissist, was unwilling to admit he had ever made a mistake or held a wrong perspective – besides probably being too lazy to go back and make corrections, like a real scientist or scholar would – and so even as his positions on things changed somewhat, he left earlier pronouncements unaltered, guaranteeing a contradictory mish-mash.
“That LRH wrote something is pointless”
Thank you.
I only use “what Hubbard wrote” within a discussion of scn itself, to illustrate or point to inconsistencies, falsehoods, contradictions, hypocrisy and his bonkers lunacy. ..
Scn tek and jargon are for specific types of conversation regarding Scn.
They are not used to back up or reaffirm an opinion or fact about life and the world.
…
for almost 40 years, “what LRH wrote” was woven into every nanosecond of my life and my world revolved around it fully. Captured in that dastardly orbit.
I am grateful to now have been able to shake myself loose from it mentally, I’m still working on some layers embedded viscerally. (when will I stop feeling guilty for speaking around an injured person? no amount of telling myself erases the feeling as the situation unfolds)
So sentences like the above quoted jump out at me like a watermelon on a tomato plant.
……
I am happy for TC and his wife’s progress. Every step away is so joyful.
I too would approach old friends in this circumstance. I think continued friendliness, love and support win the day, at least for my own heart health, with hope that someday it pebbles the path away for my friends.
Well done, T.C. There was nothing you could have, or should have, done differently. I’m glad you “couldn’t help yourself” and talked about the elephant in the livng room, i.e., scientology. The fact that your still-in friends were uncomfortable was quite revealing. If they really and truly thought you were a dread SP, they wouldn’t have chatted with you at all and would have asked you to leave their table.
I suspect that, deep, deep down, they’re not really buying that you’re an SP, but they have to struggle internally with the cherch’s brainwashing. Plus, they see that your life is not the “ruin” it’s been proclaimed to be, and that’s got to register somewhere in their kool-aid addled brains. Thanks for sharing once again!
Good points, Bix. Thanks.
What kind of fool am I?
To fall for Hubbard’s con
It seems each time I don’t donate
The reges make me wrong
What kind of Org is this?
An empty shell
A lonely cell in which
An empty heart must dwell
What kind of mind is this?
With every withhold missed
That harbored secrets thoughts of doubt
That left me alone like this
Why can’t I have a life
Like any girl or man?
And maybe then I’ll know
What kind of fool I am
It’s not often you get an Anthony Newley reference on a Scn blog. I’ll alert the Tony Awards Committee.
Much appreciated Chris.
Terra, I love your writing style. You paint such a clear picture.
I love your writing style too, Terra, and your article today just confirmed for me that the best way to “handle” people – anyone – who judges you unfairly and wrongly and who disconnects from you because of it – the best way to handle idiots like this, no matter who they are or how much you love and miss them – is to LIVE WELL.
Living well, going on to be happy and successful in a purposeful life doesn’t tell them how wrong they are – it SHOWS them, it DEMONSTRATES it to them.
Actions always speak louder than words.
They turned their backs on you?
Won’t listen to reason?
Won’t communicate about anything meaningful with you, or won’t communicate at all?
Fine. So be it. Stop trying to talk to them. Stop trying to CONVINCE them – about anything. Let them BE.
Live a good life. Be the best YOU can be, for yourself and for the others who want you and need you in their lives. Create NEW happiness.
Like NO words can or will ever, THIS will show the motherfuckers.
And yes, I use that crude term to include anyone who turns their back on you unfairly, unjustly, coldly.
Motherfuckers are what they are.
Let them go. Create your life and make it happy and worthwhile again.
If you do this, the MFs WILL come back. iT might take a while, but they will. They’ll almost HAVE to, you see. Its an energy you’re putting out there that they won’t be able to resist.
Try it.
What do you have to lose?
Whether they come back or not, YOU are still alive, and YOU deserve happiness, So create it, without them.
So very well written Terra. I too have lost many close friends and most of my family to the cult.
I live this story every day, wondering when they too will “wake the fuck up……”
Thanks for taking the time to put into words what many are and continue to experience.
Are there any magic words that will break through 40 years of indoctrination in one short conversation? I doubt it.
There aren’t any words like that, you’re right. You can only plant a seed, maybe. People wake up and confront truth in their own time. In the meantime, life is here to be lived, not died out of.
I don’t think you failed and anything here. Just seeing that you and your wife’s lives are not in total ruin like they have been told it would be if anyone left the cult isn’t something they can forget witnessing. There has to be something inside them that has a little envy at seeing two people who have the freedom to choose their own path.
I came away from this with that no one can understand the mind of a scientologist better than an ex-scientologist. I think you did a lot more good than you give yourself credit for 🙂
Sorry, I meant to say I don’t think you failed at anything, not and anything. I failed at reading what I wrote. Not as bad as when I placed and ad for a public meeting and left the l out of public. Not sure if that’s why so many people showed up though.
Lol… that’s hilarious!
Well KatherineINCali, it’s one of those things that you have to just say to yourself “some day I will look back on this and laugh”. In addition to being a somewhat flawed proofreader I also suffer from foot in mouth disease, sometimes it’s foot, leg and hind quarters in mouth. Something I’ve suffered from since very early childhood. I would like think all that though has made me much more sympathetic when it happens to someone else.
I’m soon going to be 33 + 33 (sound better than 66 doesn’t it?) and still haven’t learned to always double check *who is the (To:) in emails, especially if it’s sensitive, which also applies to texting and to wait before I speak. I’m getting a little better about it though. I’m hopeful I still have some time for improvement.
I do follow that old rule to not try to cut your own hair though.
Wow you really summed it up. I left almost 10 years ago and in the process lost my three besties and a grown child to the cult. They are all still in and it’s hard to watch.
But I reinvented my life from the ground up and it’s amazing. I love my life after Scientology. When I first walked away I thought about Scientology often. Now not so much. That was a long time ago, or so it seems.
But I miss the people who are still in and pray that they too will see the truth one day.
It’s sad to have friends that you aren’t able to see and talk to because they are in a cult. It must be beyond frustrating to see people you were close to and not be able to get them to see the truth. It’s frustrating to me and I don’t personally know any of them. I just hope it ends soon. Then everyone can reconnect with those who are “left behind” in the cult of Scientology.
Terra, I think I asked about this before, but I can’t recall your answer. When you sign “Still not Declared,” that’s referring to not having an actual paper that says you’re declared, right? Because you’re saying here that you have been declared a suppressive person.
I understand that urge to find the right thing to say. It’s not just outright cults, either. When people are taken in by the smear campaign of a narcissist, they seem to lose their ability to hear out what the target has to say. Something about how narcissists do their smearing. If the target contradicts the basis of the slanders against them, this is taken as proof that they are negative, are the problem, deserve the group punishment. Sorry it happened with your friends. I know how bad that feels.
Hi Cat. I sign “Still not Declared” because nobody “declares” me but myself. Scientology can write all the paper they want. Won’t make an ounce of difference.
By the way, I always enjoy reading your insightful comments.
Thanks for clarifying, Terra. And thanks for the compliment. I enjoy the insights of your articles as well.
To me, a “never in” is to know in my heart of hearts that there is NOTHING you can do to try to save someone who does NOT want to be saved. It matters not what they’ve lost or given up, as long as they are willing to continue to give and give and give & remain loyal to the cause as their only objective in life.
It’s like being a drug addict who is so addicted to a narcotic….their narcotic is COS & “the cause” they can’t and won’t hear anything else, even if at the time it seems to make sense to them. Their drug of choice is COS & nothing will keep them from it, even at the cost of disconnection from those who love them & whom they may love.
It seems in their mind their ONLY way out is to die within the confines of COS, and then after their own death, to fully expect that they will be assigned later on at an undetermined time, a new “meat body” & will continue on in COS………….
so sad because those “former ins” had come to the realization that there is NO 2nd, 3rd, 4th chance at life, THIS life it it…..once you die…..it’s a ONE WAY TICKET with NO RETURN.
Ballet lady, they are trapped inside their own minds.
And THAT ALONE my dear friend OSD is the root of the problem. As I’ve noted before FEAR is a great motivator to keep one’s mouth shut & be obedient to the control because of the great amount of Intimidation.
Like most cults, so indoctrinated to FEAR leaving, to NOT be able to exist in the outside world. They must think about the HELL those who had the balls to leave have gone through…the “Squirrel Busters”, being tailed/followed, picketed, photographed, letters, having one’s trash gone through & rumors spread……Intimidation to the point of HARASSMENT…my mind and soul cannot comprehend such viciousness from a cult that calls itself a religion.
Mike…I know you think & feel you’ve said enough, emptied you heart & mind& unloaded quite a bit…..but it is BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU that OTHERS HAVE HAD THE GUTS TO LEAVE & never go back despite the disconnection policy loss.
What you have done to far………. many could not do, like ALL OF YOU who have had the guts to appear in the Aftermath Series…stepping forward with the TRUTH to inform the never ins & VALIDATE what those who WERE in and are now OUT & what others have seen, heard, felt, had done to them for so many years.
Someday, somehow, some way….what Tom D. did for YOU, you might be able to do for someone else. There just might be someone you’ve known for decades who reaches OUT to YOU and YOU alone…maybe if there is even a small CHANCE your eldest son might reach out to YOU & YOU alone…..so please UNCAP those pens….there ARE more stories to tell
Best Wishes, Joy, Happiness, Thanks, & Much Love to Mike, Chris & those beautiful sons!
I won’t argue with you on that point. It’s your belief, just like scio. You have no “proof”, any more than I do the reverse. But we surely do agree re scio!
It all depends on the way one looks or thinks about it Peter. I’ve had high school friends who got sucked into Hare Krishna…..Children of God & a few other cult or cult like religions. THOSE “religions” basically brainwashed them into staying for fear of eternal damnation AFTER having them CUT OFF (disconnect-defellowship-shun) EVERY family member & friend they ever had….including me.
These cults consumed them, took up all their time, worked them to exhaustion, and because they had no time for anything else but total submersion & indoctrination 24/7..they ended up like many in COS, penniless & with no solid work history.
Decades ago while in NYC on a work week end…I SAW one of my friends in Times Square…white robes, partially shaved head, “jingle bells” hoping up and down….I quietly walked over to say Hello….& this one LONG time friend said “I can’t talk to you anymore, you are NOT one of us”…. His parents were lovely people & he was there ONLY son….the fact he wanted nothing to do with them nearly killed them, they grieved him as if he were dead. To HIM ….THEY were dead.
As noted entitled to our own opinions. My hope is that those who’ve willing or being “forced” to disconnect someday realize what they’ve done.
“I’m not sure what prompts these chats, but they usually occur late at night while I’m trying to fall asleep. They begin innocently enough,….”
Every single day. I can’t help it or avoid it. It amounts to mental torture, because there is no solution, no conversation that gets my son to turn his head in my direction and just listen much less converse.
But every morning I get up and live my life, extremely happy to be OUT.
Mary, I will continue to hope for something, not sure what manner of something, will touch a memory somewhere in your son to allow him to reach out to you. I hope the same for every single person who has lost contact with those they love.
You are such a good person, and I do believe that good things will come to good people. One good thing that already happened is you broke away from the cult and find joy in your life.
Thank you, Peggy. 🙂
We always have to keep in mind: Mike Rinder left. The most unlikely person to leave, against all odds that he would or could, Mike Rinder blew the cult. If Mike, in his 50s, after spending his entire adult life devoted 100% to the the cult, if he, in his 50s with no money and no one to turn to on the outside, could wake up and leave, ANY of them can.
Thetans on land have alot more freedom than thetans in the sea watching asses. The life in the sea is more paranoid compared with life in the sea. Lucky are the ones making up to land.
Roger, this makes no sense to me at all. What are you trying to say?
No no, it’s quite usual here.
Foolproof feels superior to anyone who disagrees with him here or challenges him to bring logic and empirical data to any discussion.
He gets full marks for stinky consistency; after all, the function of a sphincter is to pass waste matter.
Mark, go easy on the poopster. Dave kicked him so hard in the ass that his sphincter froze up, hence the constipated comments.
🚾☢😂😂😂
Life in the sea is more paranoid than life on land.
Birds fly, fish swim and clams shut up.