I recently became aware of a condition known as Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD).
Apparently it is quite common, and includes an inability to make everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others.
People with DPD are often attracted to cults (and remain in them) because of the control cults exercise over their members. It provides them what they need — to be told what to think and do. This of course goes hand in hand with sociopathy, because cult leaders are almost uniformly sociopaths. When someone who has this disorder escapes from a cult (or relationship), they are more likely to find another cult or personality to take its place. They NEED to be controlled and told what to think and do.
The symptoms (according to WebMD):
People with DPD become emotionally overdependent on other people and spend great effort trying to please others. People with DPD tend to display needy, passive, and clinging behavior, and have a fear of separation. Other common characteristics of this personality disorder include:
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- Inability to make decisions, even everyday decisions like what to wear, without the advice and reassurance of others
- Avoidance of adult responsibilities by acting passive and helpless; dependence on a spouse or friend to make decisions like where to work and live
- Intense fear of abandonment and a sense of devastation or helplessness when relationships end; a person with DPD often moves right into another relationship when one ends.
- Oversensitivity to criticism
- Pessimism and lack of self-confidence, including a belief that they are unable to care for themselves
- Avoidance of disagreeing with others for fear of losing support or approval
- Inability to start projects or tasks because of a lack of self-confidence
- Difficulty being alone
- Willingness to tolerate mistreatment and abuse from others
- Placing the needs of their caregivers above their own
- Tendency to be naive and to fantasize
I wonder if something like this could be acting upon the people that end up as the second-in-command in high control groups. It’s obvious there’s another layer of psychographic types who inhabit the “gatekeeper” role. For this, I am thinking of people like Nancy Salzman, Ghislaine Maxwell, Pat and Annie Broeker and so on.
Advice for whoever wants it . When confronted with an ethics officer gaslighting you , or screaming at you, lie to the best of your ability , smile , stay calm because they (mostly) love to see you squirm , fight the urge to give in.
Yes sure you have some sociopath’s and some DPS… in general you have more DPS’s… because a lot of people need orders for living… they need somehow a boss… and so because of the needing, they promote the rules as given as the right way… and this seems given in Scn through ethics… which is a late invention of Hubbard – ethics conditions… but the Mister build in it a failure… it is the condition Doubt… which is normally used as an general doubt… which is untrue… you can and should also have doubt on Power or Affluence or Normal or Emergency or Danger… especially surely at Danger… and following is Non-Exsistenz the consequence of not handled Doubt’s… and so comes the Liability formula together, which you can only solve in the church of Scn with the promise and acknowledment of Scientology Ethics… and which you have to state in the Condition Doubt… up from here you go in generel only in an enemy, or treason state to the world outside of Scientology… but further you will go in the state of confusion… … but LRH has himself once said… the condition below confusion is – is to take over the valence and power of another… this itself were DPS… a Sociapath is different, because such a guy do not accept another power… but in Scientology you must have a very lot of DPS’s, only because of the Ethics Conditions – what I have explained above… so on, and Miscavige or how this Guy is called – is Sociopathic anyway… he rules without understanding… he orders… and this is much much much more as the trouble with the condition Doubt.. he eleminates doubt with false reports… what he is certainly doing… … the truth seems, that LRH wanted the whole universe in his valence.., something which Miscavige can never do… he cannot do that… he tries probably to do that… but he rans only with the failures of LRH… and Scientology will vanish with him… … okay – lets say something, LRH had some good ideas… Dianetics is basically a good idea… Scientology is basically also a good idea, but the speculation of making an OT lead him to Ethics Conditions – and with it to restrictions… and all of this was allegedly analysis – but finally untrue… … there are no BTs adhered to bodies… this story of Xenu is a story of imagination… Xenu did allegedly decide to eleminate beings… implant all… but this would not really work.. the real work were let anybody forever sleep… … the real world is not like that… with DPS it is… sleeping guys anyway…, awake them is difficult… but again, LRH was able to awake this guys, which is surely his honor – but had than fixed all on his ethics idea… is a long text, wantet only to say that…
This wasn’t the case in my personal journey in Scientology. I joined staff when I was 19, became an auditor and CS, and left when I was on the BC 35 years later. I didn’t like being told what to do all the time or to have my personal decisions argued about by others (and they tried, believe me, they tried) …
YEs, as with some other commenters on this post, it’s why you are here and not there!
I was involved in a church and when I left I felt like I needed insuctions,and information to love because I didn’t think for myself before I left. It was weird finally being able to think independently without any instuctons or information and the thought of fear that I was going to do something wrong. I didn’t know it had a name.
Totally underrstood on all of this, and it is indeed horrific, but – BUT! Here’s the real mindf**k with regard to how Scientology gaslights you:
In theory – IN THEORY – one of the principle purposes of Scientology is to ENHANCE self determinism, to REHABILITATE it, and in so doing, make the BEING “come alive” again.
But in practice, one is continually reminded that in order to “go free” there is a “closely taped path” to be followed, a path from which one must NEVER deviate!
Ok, now, how the hell can someone be self determined AND “follow” a rigid path and never deviate from it?
Here’s how its done: The person gets continually VALIDATED for “following the closely taped path” and CONVINCED he/she is following order solely under his or her OWN determinism!
And when the person DOESN’T follow the path, when he/she wanders from it, well, that’s the reactive mind! That wandering from the path is the reactive mind exerting FORCE on the person to go “out ethics”.
The grooming, the training, the monitoring, the validating (and invalidating) is such that eventually, the person becomes a total compliant robot while at the same time convinced that he or she is doing exactly what he or she wants to do; its ALL self determined, all his or her own independent decisions.
Quite a trick, no?
I mean, there are people who are very dependent upon others’s opinions and orders who need and want heavy control, who like to be bossed and micro-managed, who WANT a blueprint for every major and minor action in their lives – but at LEAST they KNOW that they require this! They KNOW that they like to be controlled, they KNOW that they loathe making decisions on their own, etc., etc.
But how many people are walking around, obeying every order, complying to the letter with every policy as regards all of their activities large and small, while at the same time believing themselves to be totally self-determined?
Quite a trick, right? Well the cult does it with praise. They praise obedience and call it self determinism. When you are OBEYING, you are self determined!
Cute!
LRH had a reference called Robotism. It says that if you are being suppressed for a long time that you get beaten down to where you can only operate on orders. You have to have orders to do anything. And especially need orders from the main person suppressing you. He said if you find robotism, look to find the SP cuz there surely will be one there. He was right about that. I looked and found David Miscavige as the SP and all of us were robots to him. That’s how it goes until something jogs you to look, to listen, to cognite on who the real SP is, and to ultimately leave. Congrats on all here who left!
Superb comment, Cindy. I’ve observed the truth of this on several levels – with individuals, with families and even countries.
A former friend of mine has been a robot to her common law husband for 50 years. He both depends upon her utterly and controls her utterly, and she would not have it any other way. For many years he has refused to marry her and for just as many years has she accepted this. She’s bright, attractive, perceptive – she has many good qualities but her fatal flaw is that she’s comfortable being under his thumb. Repeatedly she has left him to strike out on her own for a while but it never lasts very long. She has a fling with someone else and crawls back to him. And he takes her back, and still verbally abuses her and invalidates her in general.
Although from widely divergent backgrounds, my maternal and paternal grandfathers were tyrants. The true family stories I could share about each of thei utter selfishness and insensibility to the feelings and well being of their spouses and children would sound to you like the creations of Hollywood writers crafting a retro mini series.
I lived for several years with my father in a 3rd world country; the peasant people, totally uneducated, ignorant and living in terribly poverty adored the “President For Life” (read ruthless dictator) who along with his wealthy circle of friends exploited and suppressed them in every possible way. Unitl his death they revered him, worshipped him, practically, and believed everything he said, no matter how blatant his lies. And when he died they “elected” (read anointed) his son to continue in his name, with the exact same suppressive policies, giving them NO chance to have any kind of decent lives in their own country.
So its not only Scientologists who are prone to robotisem.
Good examples, Aqua. I like reading your stuff. Your writing skill is superb.
Those who were in the Sea Org were required to become dependent personalities. One is REQUIRED to follow orders and only act according to the rules. They are expected to tolerate mistreatment and abuse from others. Sea Org members are naive and fantasize they are saving mankind and clearing the planet.
That’s probably the point which I adamantly protested. Because I had always assumed that if one is given a post in the Sea Org and it’s purpose was all that was required; now let me get on with it. When I then was bombarded with loads of detailed orders of how to do something (micro management) my level of willingness decreased.
No doubt why you are an Ex…
I really hope it’s not like that for everyone.
I don’t think it was my case, as I always tried to reason selectively while in the SO and always took note of the ‘off-key’ moments when I felt them, and I knew I had felt them. Of course, many things I was forced to swallow. I wasn’t a good and fully dedicated SO member. Until, in the end, I left. After that, I was very, very careful and skilled not to seek others who would control me. I have developed a rather anarchic view regarding controlling others for no reason.
In family, work, or socially, there can always be someone trying to control you, and it’s okay for that to happen since that’s how things go unless you live in a hidden cave in the mountains.
Media, governments, politics, companies, religions, etc., are always trying to plant a seed in your head.
What matters is how present and attuned you are to the moment and what’s happening, knowing what you believe in, not following the herd by inertia, and trusting your instinct.
Most definitely a thing and imagine those who grew up in a cult, they haven’t been educated in society, social cognitive skills will be totally geared towards the cult environment, not to life outside the cult.
So when these people leave the cult as adults, they’re really not geared up to be an adult in a society outside the cult, where behaviour, language and beliefs are totally different from within the cult.
It’s like they’re still children who need to learn to stand on their own two feet. When they’re in their 20s-30s or even 40s and 50s, society has certain expectations from adults and these people cannot meet these expectations, because they’ve never learned the same language, acceptable behaviours, societal norms, etc.
Add to that a lack of vocational education and learning about all aspects of adult life, if you’ve had your whole life dictated to you, what to do, where to go, how to be and when to be where, etc.
One would maybe think there needs to be some rehabilitation system for cult survivors. Adult education which incorporates Personal, Social, Health and Economic education as well as cult aware therapy to process out of the coercive control, therapy aimed at treating cPTSD and learn to think for yourself and how to stand on your own two feet.
I couldn’t agree more. Right after I left Scientology I joined the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and I am ever so devout!
I always try to spread the word. Did you know that Gravitational Force is caused by the Flying Spaghetti Monster pressing down on humanity?
This from the Gospel of the FSM (AKA the loose canon.)
“We find, counter-intuitively, that a small population correlates with shorter humans, and a larger population correlates with taller humans. This only makes sense in light of the FSM theory of gravity. With more people on earth today, there are fewer Noodly Appendages to go around, so we each receive less touching—pushing down toward the earth—and thus, with less force downward, we’re taller.”
I couldn’t agree more. Right after I left Scientology I joined the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and I am ever so devout!
I always try to spread the word. Did you know that Gravitational Force is caused by the Flying Spaghetti Monster pressing down on humanity with His Noodly Appendages?
This from the Gospel of the FSM (AKA the loose canon.)
“We find, counter-intuitively, that a small population correlates with shorter humans, and a larger population correlates with taller humans. This only makes sense in light of the FSM theory of gravity. With more people on earth today, there are fewer Noodly Appendages to go around, so we each receive less touching—pushing down toward the earth—and thus, with less force downward, we’re taller.”
We learned about DPD in psychology a few weeks back and my professor said “A lot of people who have DPD where in high control groups or cults.” And I thought of Scientology and how alot of exs don’t know what to do after they leave.