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Thursday Funnies

December 11, 2014 By Mike Rinder 94 Comments

laughing-pug-fat-1844661589

Masters of MES

Not doing so well on the Time part.

These are two of the four invitations received on the SAME DAY by a single person. Two for the 7:00pm version of the event and two for the 7:30 version — both at the Ft Harrison because apparently they can no longer fill Ruth Eckerd.

20141210_110957 (1)

 

Gavin Potter. Again.

David Miscavige’s clone is back to teach you once again how to make money to give to the church.

I bet he attracted a massive crowd in Inglewood. Talk about a fish out of water….

 

Potter - Copy

 

 

The dianetics volcano and 47X expansion graph

This is now on a bus stop ONE BLOCK from the Ideal Pacifica Bridge on Fountain Ave.

What are the chances that whoever bought this knows EXACTLY what this image looks like and EXACTLY where it is placed?

Volcano

 

 

Is Kevin making this up?

Surely, if he is taking this from the ACCS, people HAVE heard this before? You know how hard they have been pushed to listen to all these lecture series….

Or is he just inventing things that nobody has heard before because he has yet to say them?

And isn’t it just a little strange to be promoting a seminar about magic? Do you think it includes how to make wallets disappear? Audience hypnosis?

AO Magic

 

 

“My income expanded”

It’s all about making the cash. Why go to a seminar when you can learn it all by listening to the Congresses?

And if you buy a bunch more junk we will give you, FREE, a junk CD player, or cassette or 8 track if you prefer.

Bridge-bs

 

Effective “Bulk Mail Out”

Well, it’s bulk, but it’s not too effective.

Screenshot (107)

To answer his question. As far away from the IAS as possible…

 

Valley Ho Ho Ho

A bunch of hos?

And along with the “freedom gifting workshop” (also known as the money taking sweatshop) this should be a hell of a lot of fun…

Valley hoh ho ho - Copy

 

 

They stomped all the LA field auditors with jackbooted stormtroopers…

Oops.

Now they have to start all over again with a “new game launching.”

auditors assocation newsflash

 

 

They are creating another “new” civilization?

What happened to the one announced in February when Dear Leader yanked the ribbon on the “Ideal Pacifica Bridge”? Already old and we need a new one?

civ

 

“Ballpark fundraise”

An idiotic new noun in scientology.

Never want to entirely close the door on grubbing for some more money. “Well, that was just the ballpark, we now know that we need exactly $2,345,876.47 more, give now to raise your status to total fool.”

 

mvo

 

 

 

Regraded Being

Joe 01Joe 02Joe 03Joe 04Joe 05Joe 06

 

 

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: Church of Scientology, David Miscavige, events, fundraising, funnies, public relations

Comments

  1. starzstuff says

    December 14, 2014 at 11:47 pm

    Interesting that Georgina Tweedy is now the ED Able. She was high up in OSA. Demoted…

    Reply
  2. Schorsch says

    December 12, 2014 at 7:14 am

    I wonder what “Created in USA” has to tell me. Did the brains thinking that thoughts that led to the electronic promo live in the USA while they did think about it. Or the typist did type the text in the USA. And all corrections and proofreading done in the USA. Or it can be created elsewhere and the issuing authority is in USA.
    Basically David Miscavige then has to be inside the borders of USA to call his creations “Created in USA”. Does not say it is a value product or creation. Only tells me it has been created inside the USA. In case an OT exterior did create it then he has to make sure he is not elsewhere. Maybe he dreamed it up then has to be named “Created in Dreamland”. Like almost all of David Miscavige creations. Or maybe “Created in Hell”. Whatever.

    Reply
  3. RolandRB says

    December 12, 2014 at 3:45 am

    “Bring your spouse, bring your friends, bring your neighbor” — to a crush-regging session? I had wrongly assumed that newcomers with money would be encouraged down the Dianetics-Scientology bait-and-switch route. But I guess the Diminuative Dictator already knows that people with money aren’t stupid enough these days to fall for that one. So how will he get the new public with money in and get the money off them? I get it! They invite them to crush-regging sessions to learn that Scientology is all about donating, donating, donating. They hope the new public with money will be carried away with a donations frenzy and donate, donate, donate without asking why their money seems to largely disappear, such that more and more donations are required. And then more. And then more.

    Reply
  4. Alex de Valera says

    December 12, 2014 at 2:47 am

    What a fun way to start a new day. Regraded being really cheered me up in spite of the rain and awful weather outside. It is so true. The bastards exchanged my ot III for cassettes (rubbish ubclear sound) and books that became obsolete because of the semicolon syndrome. What a bridge boy! Total insanity!

    Reply
  5. Hallie Jane says

    December 12, 2014 at 2:09 am

    I guess this is the best that the new dream team can do in LA, is have another frickin event! Oi vey! After making immeasurable hassles for auditors with gag 1 and gag 2, now they expect them to still be working?! I bet the indie auditing hours are higher than rcs field auditors, if there are any left. The horrible PR that Scn is enjoying right now in LA, makes this new civilization concept really lame. There’s a lot of desperation in these efforts to draw people in.

    Reply
  6. Foolproof says

    December 12, 2014 at 12:38 am

    “…give now to raise your status to total fool.” One of the funniest lines ever! Well done Mike! Still laughing.

    Reply
  7. Ginger Sugerman-Lerma says

    December 11, 2014 at 11:18 pm

    LOLOL Way too funny !!But the sad thing is that cartoon depicts exactly what happens. If the Church screws up they expect you to redo it and PAY FOR IT again !! Thieves !

    Reply
  8. Kemist says

    December 11, 2014 at 10:37 pm

    Um, about that bench ad…

    Do I get this right ?

    They offer STD testing in their org now ?

    I hope they’re not telling people they can cure syphilis with auditing ?!?

    Reply
  9. Pepper says

    December 11, 2014 at 7:19 pm

    Syphilis Explosion with Dianetics volcano image and stat graph in the backround is hysterical!

    Those spirochetes must really be enjoying their 47X straight up and vertical expansion. But seriously, is this a joke? Did someone buy that advertising spot to play a hoax on the CoS?

    Reply
    • The Dark Avenger says

      December 11, 2014 at 9:01 pm

      It’s part of a real ad campaign, both in Northern and Southern California:

      “Syphilis Explosion” Ads Jolt BART Riders

      There’s an old joke about a mohel — a ritual circumciser — who decorates his storefront with clocks. When asked why clocks, he replies “What would you put in the window?”

      And, in that context, the above ads gracing Oakland BART stations make more sense. Meant to highlight the alarming rise in syphilis rates across the nation — well, what would you put in the window?

      That said, the erupting volcano motif looks, to an alarming degree, like an old Dianetics ad. “I can see why you’d say that,” says Dale R. Gluth, the Bay Area regional director of the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, the outfit behind these erupting volcano syphilis ads. The juxtaposition of health issues and a pseudoscience purveyor like Scientology is one that could give many people pause. Count Gluth among them: “Dianetics is not something that would resonate with our organization.”

      So, rest assured, all this erupting volcano full of red-hot magma is meant to represent is the increasing prevalence of syphilis. Maybe that will make you feel a bit better.

      Gluth isn’t yet sure if these ads are having their intended effect of steering people to FreeSTDCheck.org to get themselves tested. The marketing numbers haven’t yet come in from a campaign that’s only weeks old. So, that’s something to check on. Also something to check on: Do you have syphilis?

      “I want people to go get tested,” Gluth says. You know the website. Avoid the magma. Hurry!

      http://www.sfweekly.com/thesnitch/2014/12/01/syphilis-explosion-ads-jolt-bart-riders

      Reply
      • Pepper says

        December 13, 2014 at 3:04 am

        Thanks for the article DA, I’m no longer confused.

        FYI or to anyone else, the State of CA offers free family planning and pregnancy services to those who qualify. STD testing and treatment is also covered under the plan. All Sea Org members would qualify based on their income. They would just need some time off to actually go see a doctor. That’s not happening at The Pacifica base these days. No time off allowed. God forbid parents and their kids ever get to see each other.

        Reply
  10. hgc10 says

    December 11, 2014 at 5:34 pm

    As usual, I have questions. When something doesn’t make sense, I ask questions to try to unravel it. That happens a lot when I read this blog.

    If I was never supposed to know these things about the “history of OT on this planet,” then why is Kevin Bernes willing to blab it to me? Who, exactly, didn’t want me to know about these things? Was it the good guys or the bad guys? I mean, seriously, that would be vital information. Because if the good guys didn’t want me to know these things, then I’m sure not gonna support Kevin in breaking their trust. It’s best not to discover things that you aren’t supposed to know.

    What is “holiday fUNraising Night Every night” supposed to mean? And I ask that question for two different purposes. First, is that every night from here until forever? Because I don’t think I can make it every night. If not, then for Xenu’s sake why don’t you give the date range? Still part one here… Is the exact and sole purpose of every single gathering of your organization the squeezing of money? I mean, when do you gather as a group to spend the money? Now, part two… What’s up with the facacta capitalization? You chose to use that dippy font to make your brochure. Why didn’t you pay attention to the difference between the upper/lower case characters? Can you not do anything right? Does COB have to do everything himself? YSCOHB.

    Reply
    • Richard Grant (@richardgrant) says

      December 11, 2014 at 7:43 pm

      In Soviet Valley, hbscoY!

      Reply
  11. ed kette says

    December 11, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    Regraded Being: Even plant life is dead at the Registrar! That is theta plus!

    Reply
    • hgc10 says

      December 11, 2014 at 5:51 pm

      I thought that was a nice touch. Regraded Being is sharp with the little details.

      Reply
  12. I Yawnalot says

    December 11, 2014 at 4:56 pm

    ” … you only get attacked because of no results or bad results,” I wonder what that really means?
    (oh, now I get it) Result = fundraising, bankruptcy, forced abortions, disconnection, broken families, lies told and believed, altered technologies, slaves made, rule by dictatorship, greed full expressed and implemented.
    They need to try a bit harder, more flyers not less.
    $cientology, the only game in town with guaranteed results!
    Let’s make Dave’s holiday season one to remember since he’s the only one in $cn who can afford a holiday.

    Reply
  13. Katherine says

    December 11, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    So. Much stupidity.

    And the plural of “elf” is “elves,” for crissakes.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      December 11, 2014 at 5:37 pm

      I went back to check and you’re right! They wrote Elfs for plural in instead of Elves. It seems to me English is a very tough language for this cult as they are constantly butchering it.

      Reply
      • Cooper J Kessel says

        December 12, 2014 at 12:56 am

        Very few still-ins even graduated high school and if they did it was probably in Russia.

        Reply
  14. Jose Chung says

    December 11, 2014 at 11:55 am

    If you feed the same crap to the Kool aid guzzeler’s shovel out back at them
    they get pissed off beyond description and then will GET EVEN, count on it.
    Try a line from “Gone with the Wind” Quiet frankly, my dear,I don’t give a damn !.

    Reply
  15. Potpie says

    December 11, 2014 at 11:14 am

    The Clear Sound system is a complicated piece of crap. It has no business in
    the ever changing world of electronics.

    Sorry guys but the launch of a new civilization in LA began a long time ago when
    the movie industry sprang up. You’re way late on the chain and I seriously doubt you
    will ever come close to making the impact the movie/entertainment industry had on LA.
    Of course all your stupid antics will surely be fodder for entertainment industry.

    I would guess Mr. Potter’s Life Analysis Action Drill does not come close to duplicating an
    Ingelwood Life Analysis Drill….not much reality there I’d say.

    Reply
    • Potpie says

      December 11, 2014 at 11:16 am

      Sorry I ment to say Inglewood Life Analysis Action Drill

      Reply
  16. Marie guerin says

    December 11, 2014 at 11:05 am

    My sister , who could be badass before Julian Shwartz got to her, told an IAS reg who was trying to convince her that her lifetime membership was not valid anymore since it had been changed to $5000 , that if she bought a dress at Nordstrom and 6 months later the price went up on the dress , Nordstrom would not come and collect the difference and if they did , she wouldn’t pay it.
    Reg gave up. Don’t know if paramedics got involved….

    Reply
    • Gerhard Waterkamp says

      December 11, 2014 at 8:37 pm

      Good One. 🙂 Just amazing the brazenness coming after somebody to collect the difference for a new increased price. Truly desperate criminal thinking inspired by the prospect not meeting the weekly target which could cause the reg to experience another near death incident while having to clean the seawalls at Flag during high tide…..
      So in the end the paramedics might have gotten involved after all.

      Reply
  17. Zonkos says

    December 11, 2014 at 11:03 am

    I think it’s wonderful that Silicon Valley is going to have the first Ideal Ball Park!!

    The fundraise is done!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  18. Conan says

    December 11, 2014 at 10:29 am

    Knock, knock there Mr. Kevin Bernes,

    The reason there are super duper secrets about Magic, that “we didn’t supposed to know” is because they could kill us monkeys with such powerful truths. No, no, like Ron’s dire warnings about the “wall of fire”.

    Here is from Source on how to go about this “secret knowledge”:

    The Comment

    Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

    The study of this Book is forbidden. It is wise to destroy this copy after the first reading.

    Whosoever disregards this does so at his own risk and peril. These are most dire.

    Those who discuss the contents of this Book are to be shunned by all, as centers of pestilence.

    All questions of the Law are to be decided only by appeal to my writings, each for himself.

    There is no law beyond Do what thou wilt.

    Love is the law, love under will.

    The priest of the princes,
    ANKH-F-N-KHONSU

    http://lib.oto-usa.org/libri/liber0220.html

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      December 11, 2014 at 12:44 pm

      Sounds like hogwash to me.

      Reply
      • Foolproof says

        December 11, 2014 at 11:49 pm

        It is!

        Reply
  19. Draco says

    December 11, 2014 at 10:21 am

    PS – That park bench needs to be put outside every Ideal Morgue – right in front of the window display featuring that other volcano!

    Reply
  20. Draco says

    December 11, 2014 at 10:18 am

    His eyes got misty! Well then – it’s all worth it isn’t it? And are they seriously trying to sell the basics again? As for “clearsound” what does that even mean nowadays? And that piece of stone age hardware is $400?! Good grief. Couple of bucks for a memory stick that will fit in my pocket and carry hours and hours with of crystal clear sound for whatever I want to listen to. And even that is “old technology” as these things go. These guys have truly lost the plot…

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      December 11, 2014 at 11:55 am

      I think they’re permanently stuck in the 50s. Hip, hip…

      Reply
  21. SILVIA says

    December 11, 2014 at 10:15 am

    For Seminars on “Flaps Expansion” they should call an OSA representative.

    For Seminars on “PR Disaster Expansion” they could call Pow (if she is still alive).

    And for “Expansion of laughter, smiles and good humor” we all agree to call Mike Rinder. (even if nobody cares).

    Reply
  22. XenuYesXenu says

    December 11, 2014 at 9:55 am

    clearsound listening system? oh msCabbage, this is 2014! you are sooo funny. (not only on your footstool, you are always the weird rumplestiltskin).

    Reply
    • Kemist says

      December 11, 2014 at 10:32 pm

      Ah, so the hair is his business wig.

      Reply
  23. Cooper J Kessel says

    December 11, 2014 at 9:37 am

    I suspect getting the Auditors Assn. back into existence will be like trying to revive a road kill so I guess we’ll have to start our own Bitter Apostates Association. We can track our stats with:

    1) Well Done Hours living life to it’s fullest
    2) No. of posts made on the blogs.
    3) No of ‘still-ins’ contacted, salvaged or handled.

    There is a special completion bonus of 125 attaboys and a plaque for going fully OT whenever you get a kool aide consumer to get fully Outta There.

    Yo Dave,
    Two things good buddy. First, how many days left until 2015? Second, how many days left until the Sundance Film Fest? Clue: add fifteen days to your first answer to get the second one.

    Reply
    • Michael Mallen says

      December 11, 2014 at 10:48 am

      Ouch.

      Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      December 11, 2014 at 11:52 am

      Hey, Coop! According to your points (1 through 3), I’m one heck of a upstate dude! Man, my needle is not only floating, I’m currently out-of-my-body checking out the waves RIGHT NOW. Shouldn’t I be getting some sort of plaque?

      Reply
    • Idle Morgue says

      December 11, 2014 at 11:32 pm

      I love you Cooper Kessel – I totally duplicate you and then double it!

      Reply
  24. Michael Mallen says

    December 11, 2014 at 9:34 am

    Davey boy, you can do a ballpark fundraise to wogs if you like, but the ballpark figure for your freeloader debt is 1.5 billion.

    Reply
    • zemooo says

      December 11, 2014 at 1:48 pm

      The current Yankee Stadium in NYC cost 1.5 billion. Nosebled seats cost 35 dollars, better seats start at 200. The OT committee has all the panache of an Amway convention.

      Reply
  25. Joe Pendleton says

    December 11, 2014 at 9:30 am

    They were fundraising for a freaking BALLPARK! They got the nicest one there is just a few miles away in San Francisco fercryinoutloud! Maybe it means something else. And now we need to mock up a new game. How EXCITING! Let me take a wild guess … does it involve more fundraising? (Uhm … what’s new about that?)

    Reply
  26. Chuck Beatty says

    December 11, 2014 at 9:28 am

    I came to finally conclude that since there are no “OTs” (I think of an OT like one is a Caspar the Ghost type of good floating ghost/soul astronaut type of being), and since Scientology cannot possibly cause a soul to be on permanent or even semi- Caspar the Ghost status, that Scientology won’t ever be able to create that final product.

    That’s why the OT 8 super souled Scientologists can’t fly!

    No one can fly, in all of human history.

    So the “secret” that LRH still won’t tell anyone, and only is in Lawrence Wright’s final pages in the “Going Clear…” book, and it’s even more extensively laid out in Chapter 24 of Marty’s must-read “Memoirs of a Scientology Warrior”, is LRH’s final thoughts of failure.

    But I don’t think LRH even faced the fact that there are NO OTs.

    That’s the secret Scientologists have to someday face.

    It’s not because mankind hasn’t hoped for some Caspar the Ghosts to be around.

    Because it’s not mankind’s evil intentions that bombard the poor OTs in history.

    It’s because flying out of one’s skull is an hallucination. It’s not real experience, it’s a brain hallucination, and it’s been unfortunately mistaken as some kind of soul experience that can be reached by a gradual soul improvement process.

    It ain’t real to even be being offered, to be failed to be delivered, and Scientology ought to stop lying that they can make “OT” super flying astronaut souls out of people!

    I challenge anyone to email me the color of my sheatshirt? (Come fly over and take a look at what color then email me chuckbeatty77@aol.com)

    Reply
    • Michael Mallen says

      December 11, 2014 at 10:46 am

      Well Chuck, you’re certainly entitled to your opinion.

      Reply
    • Potpie says

      December 11, 2014 at 11:01 am

      You should send off your secret to Eckankar.
      I don’t think they know either.
      Or do you not care because LRH was not affiliated
      with Eckankar?
      There are a lot of other groups that promote a Casper the ghost
      experience…..you should include them in your rant as well.
      It isn’t all LRH on the subject of flying astronaut souls and brain
      hallucinations.

      Reply
    • Gerhard Waterkamp says

      December 11, 2014 at 2:39 pm

      “No one can fly, in all of human history.”

      Chuck, You forgot Peter Pan. Saw it with my own eyes the other day on TV. 🙂

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        December 11, 2014 at 5:32 pm

        I saw him with my own eyes at Disneyland last Tuesday! Both of us were flying over London. Hey, it’s still magical for my wife and I.

        Reply
    • 1984 says

      December 11, 2014 at 9:02 pm

      Chuck, flying is easy. Just throw yourself at the ground, and distract your attention so that you miss.
      And with practice to keep your attention distracted, you can use the same technique to pass a 3 swing f/n on a sec-check.

      Reply
    • Idle Morgue says

      December 11, 2014 at 11:29 pm

      Spot on Chuck. Spot on!!

      Reply
    • Foolproof says

      December 11, 2014 at 11:43 pm

      The fact is of course that actually only New OTVIII as an actual OT Level has been released etc. and that anyway, according to reports, is a watered-down version of the original apparently done in a couple of skimpy weeks on the Freewinds ship most of which is consumed by sec checks anyway. New OTVII Solo NOTs is not an actual OT Level but in reality a level designed to remove the reason why one can’t do OT things and to be able to do these on a consistent basis as well, although it of course does give one many other abilities as well as removing “disabilities”.

      So Chuck’s constant attacks on the idea and state of OT is actually based on rather a false premise when examined in the light of day and without any histrionics. But I suppose Chuck will carry on ranting. Because Chuck is not up to finding things on the “OT Levels” – 3-7, does not mean that others cannot do so and those who can, look at his stories and just feel embarrassed for him.

      Reply
      • Hiatus57 says

        December 12, 2014 at 6:46 pm

        Foolproof why do you bother to try and defend the OT levels against attacks?

        We all know what is going on here, the on going and everlasting attacks on LRH and Scientology.

        The regular critics, whose carping evil comments designed only to enturbulate and destroy any notion that man (and woman) can improve his conditon are always the same.

        No hope, its all lies, nothing works, it’s all so bad, etc etc etc.

        Boring and more boring.

        At least the names are easy to spot so one can simply bypass their comments and read the humurous and the uplifting ones which are still in the majority on this blog for now.

        100% Standard Tech works when applied.

        Reply
        • Michael Mallen says

          December 12, 2014 at 7:40 pm

          Reply
      • 1984 says

        December 12, 2014 at 11:41 pm

        Hiatus57, what are you trying to say, exactly? I don’t get it. The HE&R is getting in the way.

        Reply
      • Foolproof says

        December 13, 2014 at 7:20 am

        1984 – his comments are quite easy to understand (?) He’s entitled to have a rant against those who rant, is he not?

        Reply
  27. Chee chalker says

    December 11, 2014 at 9:26 am

    What’s a Sea Org ‘veteran’? (Kevin Bernes). Is that someone who has been in the SO a long time or someone who left the SO, but brings in enough $$ to be forgiven?

    Reply
  28. flyonthewall says

    December 11, 2014 at 9:24 am

    Kevin misspelled Magic. It should be Magick. Does this mean that CoS is opening up about the influence of Aleister Crowley’s Thelema philosophy on Scientology and the OT levels? Somehow I doubt it but still, this does smack of Hubbard’s ironic sense of humor when addressing Scientologists. You know, like how he promises “Total Freedom” but really delivers enslavement. Or how R2-45 was just a joke. Susan Meister’s family didn’t think that joke was very funny. Nice to see that Hubbard is still able to deliver the laughs from beyond the grave.

    Reply
  29. Idle Morgue says

    December 11, 2014 at 9:23 am

    “We are Mocking Up a New Universe” – Just Imagine – Scientology’s New Civilization:

    One where people are enslaved to work for free, where beings can’t be enough, do enough or give enough to the Organization.

    Where it is a high crime to ask for a refund.

    A Civilization where SOP is bankruptcy, foreclosure, financial ruin and shattered families.

    Where it is “sane” to charge exorbitant fees for religious services delivered by slaves who sign billion year contracts and if they want to leave – are thrown in a gulag for years until they agree to work for nothing, eat beans and rice and get slapped by the ecclesiastical leader, David Miscavige.

    Where the leader can do whatever he wants and live a lavish lifestyle – all under the Religious Cloak.

    Where the leader can spend millions on attorney’s to keep him FREE.

    Where the Road to Spiritual Freedom costs millions of dollars and there is no accountability.

    I shudder at the thought.

    That is why – Scientology must be Suppressed!

    Suppress away SP’s….
    Suppress away!

    Reply
    • Gimpy says

      December 11, 2014 at 9:45 am

      I started to get thoughts like this years ago when I was still active in the “church” I realized that the most frightening thing would be for them to succeed – imagine a world run by Scientology, it would be just like George Orwell’s 1984.

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        December 11, 2014 at 11:48 am

        Not just like 1984. I would be 1984 on steroids..

        Reply
      • Foolproof says

        December 11, 2014 at 11:32 pm

        Yes, you’re right Gimpy – that’s what got me to thinking about it. Having to work hard for “the greatest good of someone else’s Dynamics”, with every week a “Hill 10” which has resulted in – no expansion, and week in week out with no rest for the weary. Actually the date was about 1982 – 2 years before 84. Saying that the world does seem to be “evolving” into a covert slave state with people on minimum wages etc.

        Reply
  30. McCarran says

    December 11, 2014 at 9:19 am

    Aaaaaah an 8 track. Fond memories of blowing staff and driving to California with a carton of cigarettes and Steely Dan playing on my 8 track. I don’t think I owned anything else. But that was in the late 70’s. Too bad that wasn’t the end of my adventures with this church.

    Congrats on another good one Regraded Being. Here’s what would happen next: Joe would have a KR written on him for CI or J&D and be “requested” to go in for his thought remodification (sec check). If Joe did not get his thoughts modified, then he would be declared. Period. We all know, of course, that because scientology is man’s only hope, whatever the staff choose to do to Joe is okay under “The Greatest Good.” Whatever Joe chooses to do to the staff is not okay if it goes against “The Greatest Good.”

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      December 11, 2014 at 9:50 am

      And you know, McCarran, I’m so old school that I would like to own that 8 track!

      Reply
      • McCarran says

        December 11, 2014 at 2:40 pm

        🙂

        Reply
    • TommyJ says

      December 11, 2014 at 1:25 pm

      Are you Reeling In The Years????

      Reply
      • McCarran says

        December 11, 2014 at 5:46 pm

        Naw. I’m timeless.

        Reply
    • Steph says

      December 11, 2014 at 3:12 pm

      McCarran,

      Was that the carton of Benson & Hedges I sent to you in a care package ? I just remembered that when you mentioned it ! Good times. 🙂

      Reply
      • McCarran says

        December 11, 2014 at 4:44 pm

        🙂 Mmmm. That’d be them, Steph.

        Reply
    • Cooper Kessel says

      December 11, 2014 at 3:52 pm

      McCarran,
      That would have put me in LA on the BC. Steely Dan is good times.

      Reply
  31. Jens TINGLEFF says

    December 11, 2014 at 9:16 am

    “we need to mock up a new game as a group”

    Do they, now? Really?

    Reply
    • Cognited and Out says

      December 11, 2014 at 10:30 am

      Used to be going up the bridge. Just sayin’

      Reply
      • indie8million says

        December 11, 2014 at 3:59 pm

        +1

        Reply
  32. Idle Morgue says

    December 11, 2014 at 9:12 am

    Regraded Being needs to start a new comic book line – these are priceless.

    LMAO and wiping coffee off of computer. So true!

    After experiencing Fraud and the Flag Scam Base – I told an ole timer about what happened. I was told I had to redo my Bridge and pay for it again.

    He said: “you are saving a planet – you can’t expect people to work for free”.

    I said – “The services are delivered by Volunteers – THEY DON’T GET PAID”!

    He said..”Nothing…just scratched his head” and he was Oat Tea. I walked away! He did not come around anymore.

    Nothing like TRUTH BOMBING a Scientologist! It helps them go Clear!

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      December 11, 2014 at 9:48 am

      TRUTH BOMBING a scientologist creates cognitive dissonance. They just stand there, speechless. You can see their eyes twitching but no words coming out. Ahhhhh, a non-speaking scientologists. What a wonderful Christmas Gift!

      Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      December 11, 2014 at 12:35 pm

      I’ve started my collection of hard-copies of Regraded Being Comics.

      Reply
    • Gerhard Waterkamp says

      December 11, 2014 at 1:50 pm

      In 1996 I was done with OT VII and Flag was in disarray because of the upcoming GAT 1 release. A couple of months later Flag contacted me to re-do OT VII. Several attempts were made to re-sell the level to me. At that point I realized this was not about rectifying technical errors, it was about extracting the maximum amount of money. Any “technical corrections” could have been handled with an addendum and a brief training on those. Just because an airbag maybe be faulty does not require the whole car to be wrecked, just replace the defective parts. So it was obvious as it was obvious now with GAT II this was not about fixing the tech it was about extracting more money. And lies were piled up on top of lies to hide the truth. Additionally there was not the slightest attempt made by the Church to take responsibility of any kind for taking large amounts of money for a product they now called defective. These were the methods of thugs and Flag clearly was not filled with the most ethical people on this planet, but self serving criminals.
      In the coming years I was just amazed how some Scientology public around me were just swallowing the nonsense as they do now with GAT II. My policy was not to give a single dime to them until the CO$ straightens out their ethics. I was a bit delusioned myself, – as if that ever would happen.
      Almost 20 years later regraded Being is spot on. The criminality of the CO$ is obvious and when turned around at them even they probably can see it. But when this criminality is committed by the CO$ the reges are all in and the deluded sheeple swallow it hook line and sinker.
      Not sure if I should laugh or just be stunned.

      Reply
      • Foolproof says

        December 11, 2014 at 11:25 pm

        And now they have confirmed all of the above by posting Harvey the Reg Vulture as Captain FSO. “You couldn’t make it up!”

        Reply
      • cindy says

        December 12, 2014 at 4:50 pm

        I’m so glad you spotted all the out ethics criminality, Gerhard, and refused to pay anymore money to their extortion. Your best revenge is a life well lived, and I know you are creating that good life every day. Way to go!

        Reply
  33. Heidi says

    December 11, 2014 at 9:06 am

    “All are welcome” is something I can only imagine a tiny, creepy old woman saying in an ’80s movie. Perfect.

    Reply
    • McCarran says

      December 11, 2014 at 12:39 pm

      “All Are Welcome” must be the new “button” cuz I saw the same sign at a Mission Open House. The church’s big thing now is trying to get new people in. The big enphasis on Div 6 Staff manning up, the body routers seen at Pasadena and LA Org and I’m sure elsewhere. Good luck with that, dave, it ain’t the 70’s. Maybe if you pay people to come in and pay for them to do services. That might work.

      Reply
      • RolandRB says

        December 11, 2014 at 10:51 pm

        Getting new people in and fundraising every night is going to be difficult to achieve. New people are not going to want to be pressured to donate money after a few days attendance. That would be somewhat out-exchange and they will leave and stay away to protect their own pockets. Fund raising every night assumes that they will get in no new paying public. And let’s face it, you would have to pay people to put themselves through that mess of an auditing and training roundabout to insanity.

        Reply
  34. Clancypoo says

    December 11, 2014 at 8:48 am

    So, Mr. Chen is OT V111 and he is currently doing the Survival Rundown?????? ummmmm ..yeh.
    And.. what’s with the Valley? They have been raising money FOREVER! They have had more fundraisers than any other org I’ve seen, to date. Are they even close?

    Reply
    • Cooper J Kessel says

      December 11, 2014 at 9:39 am

      I think they only need another 6 mil or so. No big! I told Dave to pony up 3 of it and get the mouth to match the rest. Could be done already!

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        December 11, 2014 at 11:45 am

        Oh, heck, Coop, this could have been done months ago if not for all the SPs on the fringes of the internet.

        Reply
    • Joe Pendleton says

      December 11, 2014 at 9:40 am

      Brighton is not too …. uhm … well, bright. He’s mocking up LRH being there with him and knowing what’s happening with him when he listens to a lecture. Yeah, Brighton … Ron is God … he is with you always and he knows if you’ve been naughty or nice (like Santa with red hair). Brighton .. time for ANOTHER student hat retread before you re -do OT3. But snap into SOME semblance of PT first.

      Reply
      • Joe Pendleton says

        December 11, 2014 at 9:45 am

        Oh, and Brighton … time for you to do your next status.

        Reply
      • Alanzo says

        December 11, 2014 at 10:19 am

        Speaking of Student Hat, did Brighton blank out on the part where there is no “Big Thetan”?

        Find your MU, Brighton!

        Alanzo

        Reply
    • cindy says

      December 11, 2014 at 11:47 am

      Did you catch the line in the Valley Org promo that said, “We fund raise EVERY NIGHT”? At least they are now admitting it.

      The Valley has been trying to get the Valley Ideal Org done for over 10 years now. And they’ve had the best spearheading it such as Drew Johnston, and it still is not a done in the most heavily populated OT and Scn area on the planet. What a black eye for the LA area to have more Scns than any other place and still after 10 years, not have their Ideal Valley Org.

      You’d think they would do an Investigation or an Eval or something to find the Why and fix it. Maybe the Why is that no one wants to keep hemorrhaging money for it. Or that the Ideal Orgs don’t boom stats and they remain empty, hence the term “Idle.” Or maybe LA area already has too many Ideal Orgs and none of them are booming. Or maybe because there are so many LA Scns who are UTR just biding their time till the church goes belly up. This must be very embarrassing for Dear Leader to see that his Command Intention is not being carried out in the most densely populated OT and Scn area on the planet. Nobody is listening to him. He’s meeeelting!

      Reply
      • Michael Mallen says

        December 11, 2014 at 5:17 pm

        Dave just soiled his pants. Lou!!!

        Reply
      • Orc Bored says

        December 11, 2014 at 9:31 pm

        ‘Holiday fundraising every night EVERY NIGHT’…
        I’d make sure I’d be out of town till February.

        Reply
      • Kemist says

        December 11, 2014 at 10:17 pm

        My own hypothesis is that this is done on purpose to keep sucking money from the highest concentration of whales on the planet.

        It will only be um, “completed”, when there is no other choice but to do so – probably when one deluded Valley whale will finally have had enough and sue them for fraud because they’ve given money for a project that’s not happening.

        This would explain why a place like Québec city, which is a medium-sized city with a very, very low population of scientologists (I’ve never even met one downtown where that thing is), got its own ideal org. There was no hope of sucking any significant amount of money, and the place is sufficiently remote from flag to pretend that fundraising was successful there (there never was any significant amount of money raised that I know of, and this is a historic building in a costly part of town), and not in the Valley.

        Reply
        • cindy says

          December 12, 2014 at 4:53 pm

          Exactly so, Kemist. And also it answers why Super Power was released when it was — pressure was being put on it from the Garcia lawsuit, so to try to thwart them in court, Super Power was released. And then after the first big fanfare, you don’t hear much about Super Power anymore. Just like the Universe Corps coming in to audit all staff at St Hill size orgs…. lots of fanfare at first and then you heard nothing. If you said “Universe Corps” to one of the young SO members now, they would give you a blank stare cuz they don’t know about it.

          Reply
      • RolandRB says

        December 12, 2014 at 12:22 am

        If they are fund raising EVERY NIGHT then there is a pretty obvious way of getting double the moolah out of the chumps and whales. Fund raise every day and every night, 24 hours per day, until the whales have shed all their blubber and the chumps are freed from too much (i.e. any) Havingness.

        Reply
  35. thegman77 says

    December 11, 2014 at 8:37 am

    That is FUNNY…and totally spot on. As for the gentleman who just completed OTVIII, what the hell is he now doing on a “survival rundown”??? What a freaking crazy game!!! He must have had “Sue” for a reg!

    Reply
  36. Robert Almblad says

    December 11, 2014 at 8:29 am

    Very funny … paramedics not having a remedy for cognitive dissonance.. Ha…The only known cure is to stop drinking the Koolaide

    Reply
    • cindy says

      December 11, 2014 at 11:49 am

      Great one Regraded Being! Your stuff is so funny and so true! Thanks!

      Reply

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