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Thursday Funnies

November 7, 2019 By Mike Rinder 82 Comments

 

Anything to get them in…

Magic. Music. Dance lesson. Painting.

Desperation to try to get “bodies in the shop.”

 

 

Featured Attraction?

Now it’s a “jam session” at a new time

 

Why I joined staff?

It made sense.

Gosh — did they tell you about the hours and the pay? And the futility of it all?

 

Just guess the answer to this riddle…

They would use the same tagline for “Talk Therapy or Torture” — anything a psych does is torture.

Ron tells us so.

 

Absolutely no fundraising

We are done with fundraising.

Well, we are going to be asking for you to give us “miles towards our destination” and “reasons to smile” and “energy”. But that’s not “fundraising” it’s just collecting things we can use.

 

You have been doing it all wrong

These masters nobody has ever heard of are going to teach you how.

 

They duped some Polish comedians in Ireland

No self-respecting Irish person would be seen dead in the Scientology Community Center…

 

Freewinds Seminar

In a public person’s home?

How low can it go?

 

News Years on December 14

It’s getting earlier each year.

Don’t want to interrupt the COB’s holiday vacation planning.

 

Recruit the children

And be proud of it!

 

SuMP event in Melbourne?

They MUST be recruiting…

Get on Purpose. Join the Sea Org, it’s what Ron says you should do.

 

From “Scientology Expansion Veteran”

I guess this sword thingie is supposed to be like an EMeter needle?

 

How to get rid of stress and anxiety?

Stay away from any scientology registrar, staff member or FSM

 

Huge new facilities

Same tiny staff and field.

 

Well, sort of an open house…

Unless we don’t like you. Then the doors are locked and we call the cops.

 

You will learn how to take time out of the equation…

Throw away your clocks perhaps?

 

Video marketing

Of course, scientology are the world leaders at this. Just look how their scientologyTV is an industry phenomenon

 

Do they do ANYTHING directed at the Irish?

Or have they just given up on even trying?

 

The Gray Hair Brigade

Those OT Committee members are sure making Clearing a Reality. They have been at CF for 3 1/2 years. Still not done…

 

The “Magic” of Flag

Stan Gerson is going to be there too?

Or is this just a reference to their ability to make your money disappear?

 

More “magic”

It’s a real theme in scientology of late…

 

Vancouver on a roll…

Would love to have a snapshot of what this is?

 

The real thing…

The one time a year they put “Mark Bunker Park” to use.

Everyone is welcome, unless you are not.

But how amazing is this — the Jive Asses are going to be there. Nothing says Christmas like 5 guys in banana suits.

 

Huh, say that again?

What the hell is a “TV Episode Presentation & Historical Celebration” with a “Live Performance”???

Can’t see this one being a big draw.

Might be better off with a “jam session”…

 

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: Auckland, CCHR, Children, Columbus, Freewinds, fundraising, funnies, ot committee, public relations, Scientology, Scientology Idle Orgs, Sydney, Vancouver

Comments

  1. Formost says

    November 23, 2019 at 4:05 am

    The Flag events in Vancouver are often locked-door events.
    (Can’t leave until you cough up.)

    Reply
  2. Mike Thicketts says

    November 13, 2019 at 9:50 am

    “Talk Therapy or Torture”

    Actually ECT is torture and that is what this event is about.

    When on Staff I had the sad duty of working with an ECT patient of over 500 assaults and finally a full frontal lobotomy as a “cure”.

    We were trying to bring the psychiatrist who did this into court for the evil things he did.

    So although I have no love for the COS anymore I find your attitude too disgusting for words.

    I suppose they are financing you as your main source of income is dried up now and you have no usable real life skills to earn money.

    All this crap is just your service Fac’s because you got your face bashed in by a tiny little dwarf in front of your peers.

    That is what you cannot live with because you took it like a little bitch instead of defending yourself.

    You take NO responsibility for the evil things you did for the dwarf and sell the “it was all those other guys”.

    Marty was right about you, a piece of cowardly shit. No wonder your first wife dumped your cowardly ass!

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      November 13, 2019 at 10:20 am

      Nice thoughts. And who exactly are you? Your credentials as an authority are?

      Reply
      • Mike Thicketts says

        November 17, 2019 at 9:00 am

        Mike, I never thought you would post this comment.

        I am not an authority like yourself, I am simply a witness and was there at the time.

        Also I was with an ex-psychiatric nurse who was offering testimony in a hopeful legal action for the victim I was helping.

        She had ALL the written evidence of the abuse of the person (9and persons) in this crime.

        In ALL my years in Scientology I NEVER saw any process or assist, that resulted in the destruction of a beings ability to operate their body and communicate.

        I shall not entertain replies from idiots who accepted Out-Tech Heavy Ethics or some other off policy action by past/current staff.

        The bottom line is if you do not like the treatment. Report it. If nothing solves. The door is over there.

        I chose the door and NEVER complained about any of it. Unlike so may stupid twits who post here

        I saw what some psychiatric treatments result in. C

        Come to think of it I do believe “Wysnki” would benefit from ECT and LSD.

        OK the remarks about your personal life were a bit OTT.

        Sorry.

        Happy thanks giving and please update the current attempt to get “shorty” in to a court please.

        Reply
    • Wynski says

      November 13, 2019 at 10:41 am

      “Mike Thicketts”, another one of Marty’s pedophile loving cohorts

      Reply
    • Kronomex says

      November 13, 2019 at 6:18 pm

      “So although I have no love for the COS anymore …”

      I call bullshit on that lie you fucking little $camology troll toad! It’s no wonder the cult is dying if you are a sample of what remains. Here’s hoping you are a Darwinian dead end.

      Reply
    • ValR says

      November 13, 2019 at 6:34 pm

      Foolproof has been reincarnated as “mike thicketts”. Oh joy. One more troll to ignore. Davey must be pushing the trolls overtime since he has been served (and served and served) in so many lawsuits lately.

      Reply
  3. jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

    November 8, 2019 at 7:13 pm

    IMO, Africa’s true rhythm should be to drum scientology out.

    Reply
  4. Angry Gay Pope says

    November 8, 2019 at 1:24 pm

    I like the event at a persons HOME! In early Christianity they were starting a religion that was no longer Jewish. So they had to have “church” in the homes of early Christians, probably the wealthiest ones with the largest homes. Only later, as crowds grew, were actual christian churches built. I can see Scientology DEVOLVING in the reverse manner as they are forced to use homes, not meeting houses, for events. I bet the Catholics will start doing that too in the next fifty years in the US.

    Reply
    • Chee Chalker says

      November 9, 2019 at 2:57 pm

      If it’s the one thing Scientology has, it’s meeting space
      Hey – if the house shown in the Vancouver flier is really owned by a Scientologist, I would want to meet there too – it’s beautiful.
      IMO, holding meetings at someone’s house is just their way to attempt to keep any more video from leaking out.
      Because it’s embarrassing to see 10 -12 octogenarians dance around to The Pointer Sisters “I’m So Excited” while being regged within an inch of their lives.

      Reply
    • Jane Doe 2 says

      November 23, 2019 at 12:08 pm

      In Sunland, CA they are already using the home of Richard Stewart for their small little meetings. And I think his place isn’t a home per se, but a place he rents from a Non scn church, so it is even smaller.

      Reply
  5. Roger Larsson says

    November 8, 2019 at 8:35 am

    In purpose to make poor soil to rich soil scientologists contribute with their ashes.

    Even the meanest can do contributions.

    Amazonas need minerals in purpose to grow.

    Reply
  6. Mark says

    November 7, 2019 at 8:56 pm

    Being consigned to Central Files seems like the worst task in the world. What are you doing exactly? How can you have 23,000 files mouldering in boxes? Sheesh.

    Reply
    • X-File Addict says

      November 8, 2019 at 8:23 am

      How can you have 23,000 files mouldering in boxes?

      How?

      I’ll tell you how!

      It’s because that is the way you are supposed to keep files! Tubby said so and Tubby was never wrong!

      If those files are mouldering then Tubby must have had a reason to want them mouldering. Don’t you think? I bet it has something to do with his big return to Planet Earth. You’ll see. When he comes back he will have a real good reason why he wanted those files to be mouldered.

      Unless he misheard someone say “Mulder and Scully” when he was watching the X-Files and thought they said “Moulder them Silly”. But Tubby never made mistakes. Did he?

      Reply
      • Alcoboy says

        November 9, 2019 at 7:38 pm

        No, he didn’t. In fact, he was so great he actually invented the internet! But the psychs will tell you that it was actually invented by Al Gore!

        Reply
      • Kronomex says

        November 14, 2019 at 12:24 am

        Those files have been there for so long they have begun to mulder and the paper is foxing.

        Reply
  7. Robert King says

    November 7, 2019 at 8:21 pm

    Any new legal actions against the “church” since the last episode of the Aftermath that we can know about?

    Reply
  8. jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

    November 7, 2019 at 5:54 pm

    Mike, et al : Please enlighten me: Does a Declaration order STOP all the endless promotion being sent to you? My experience was *NO*, but maybe no one in Flog’s CF got declared between ’75 and ’80.

    Reply
    • Dead Men Tell No Tales Bill Straass says

      November 8, 2019 at 11:22 am

      Jere;
      I was apparantly “Declared and Deadfiled” and I get no mail.
      I seem to recall that when one is “Deadfiled” one is taken off the mailing list. Either that or they stopped sending promo to dead people.

      Reply
      • jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

        November 8, 2019 at 7:18 pm

        While I was in CF, 40 years ago, we didn’t remove the dead because the new residents of COURSE need to hear about all the neat stuff we were doing. We got resourceful tracking people; for instance, if we knew a guy’s girlfriend/roommate at the same address, if we found out where she had moved to, the guy’s address would be switched to there. “Ve haf WAYS!”

        Reply
  9. Aquamarine says

    November 7, 2019 at 5:45 pm

    The Church of Scientology, an organization with BILLIONS OF DOLLARS, the world’s richest cult, offers its parishioners FREE ADMISSION to an event PROVIDED said parishioners bring ” an unwrapped toy”, or, “some canned goods” to be donated to “needy children”…

    You can’t make this up. You just CANNOT make this up, folks!

    Is all I can think of to say right now.

    Reply
    • jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

      November 8, 2019 at 7:21 pm

      scientology NEVER rewards downstats by giving ANYthing away for free, aqua. It’s “scripture”.

      Reply
      • Wynski says

        November 9, 2019 at 3:57 pm

        Yes jere. The policy you refer to also made Hubtard hisself an illegal pc and student in any org.

        Reply
  10. jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

    November 7, 2019 at 5:41 pm

    Joining Staff “Made sense”. ??HOW many times have we all said, “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”??? Those folks will learn soon enough, hopefully pretty much immediately, before their previous life slips away entirely.

    Reply
  11. Abby Ration says

    November 7, 2019 at 5:25 pm

    Vancouver, BC or Vancouver, Washington? I don’t have a current passport but a REAL ID driver’s license might get me across the border. You want photos? If it’s in Canada, I may not be able to get there, but if it’s down near Portland, I can.

    Reply
    • Formost says

      November 23, 2019 at 4:09 am

      BC (604 area code in advert)

      Reply
  12. Abby Ration says

    November 7, 2019 at 5:17 pm

    Am I the only person who’s noticed that the OT symbol is copied from the ancient Egyptian scarab? Clams becoming beetles? That’s what I get for having an avocation in Egyptology since age 3. And it truly is; I can demonstrate with pics.

    Reply
  13. jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

    November 7, 2019 at 5:08 pm

    NOW I am particularly sad that I ever supported that vile organization.

    While “in”, I had had never had any contact with shrinks, so wasn’t too upset with how unhinged CCHR was/is about them, but since, I’ve met and had sessions with a few.
    They don’t pretend to have all the answers, as is appropriate for a REAL science, but they at least try to help people having real day-to-day personal problems as the science matures through real scientific investigation. Scientology does not, CAN not (by “scriptural” decree) replace what they do accomplish, so it’s doubly wrong. IMO, scientology’s most effective technique is simply running ruds and getting the day-to-day stuff handled. Any scientology done beyond that is a hypnotic process which enslaves the victim.

    Reply
  14. jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

    November 7, 2019 at 4:47 pm

    In the real world, Political correctness has replaced Christmas (or Xmas) Party with Holiday party to not offend the non-christians of the organization, so scientology SEEMS to have caught up at least that much…. *Except* scientology’s party has nothing to do with either ‘mas, or ANY actual holiday. December 14 is a nothing day, but the 21st is Winter Solstice,the original pagan middle-of-winter celebration recognizing that the days start getting longer after that point.

    But NOOOO, they HAVE to try to sneakily associate themselves with REAL religions, stealing a bit of prestige from organizations who honestly try to help others.

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      November 8, 2019 at 2:59 pm

      Exactly, Jere. Just like the NOI “position” themselves with Islam and Allah! Which is such BS! What true Islamic sect believes in the Mother Wheel from Ezekiel in the Christian Bible’s Old Testament? Talk about a Creation Story that’s FAR afield from anything Islamic!

      Reply
      • Alcoboy says

        November 9, 2019 at 7:42 pm

        But….but…..it came from the high exalted Minister Farakhan! No one dares go against his divine edicts!

        Reply
  15. GTBO says

    November 7, 2019 at 4:18 pm

    New Years on Dec 14th ?
    Desperation. Attendance has been dropping for years.
    Now they will Reg knowing public can’t use the excuse “we’re going out of town for Christmas “.
    They will still struggle to fill downstairs let alone the balcony.
    Last time I was there 50% were sea org including a lot of Gold to make it look full, they still had to move people to make sure camera angles were full. Behind the cameras on the balcony was completely empty as was downstairs under the balcony.
    Fastest shrinking religion

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      November 8, 2019 at 3:01 pm

      YAY! Heartening to get this first hand data.

      Reply
    • jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

      November 8, 2019 at 7:08 pm

      Still, we/they CAN be out of the country or state on December 14th. For years, I took vacations that started on Thanksgiving and ended between the 15th and 20th. Happened to work well with my bosses’ needs. Of course, the regges don’t want to hear it and will pester you to death until you accede to their needs.

      Reply
  16. Kronomex says

    November 7, 2019 at 3:57 pm

    Discover the true rhythm of Scamology: The ding of massed cash registers along with the percussion of purses and wallets opening and closing. All with the susurrus of the choir of the regges in the background.

    “Achieve Personal Expansion.” Eat a bucket of rice and beans every day. Make absolutely certain to post in big red letters on your front door: BEWARE OF EXPLOSION HAZARD. NO NAKED FLAMES. Gas masks provided if necessary.

    Lecturer Vivien Wen – if she has done, supposedly, 1,000’s of lectures at schools, etc, then why can’t I find any mention on the ‘net about her after searching on page after page after page? Could it be that she is so good at what she does they have to keep her a secret in case of lectural (a word that would fit quite well in the rest of the non-words in the Scamology dickheadionary) sabotage?

    Reply
  17. Todd Cray says

    November 7, 2019 at 2:44 pm

    Yes, I guess if “everything you read and did” in scn “made sense” then joining staff makes perfect sense. Then again, seeking professional help would make even more sense!

    Or at least, studying up on how false premises will lead to disastrous conclusions! THAT will make even more sense!

    Reply
  18. Chuckles says

    November 7, 2019 at 2:34 pm

    The location of the Chicago reunion makes me tilt my head and squint. I can’t imagine why they would have an event in the north part of Rogers Park. That is not an easily accessible area of the city. Unless you live in that neighborhood, you have to make an effort to get there. Strange.

    Reply
    • Chee Chalker says

      November 9, 2019 at 3:01 pm

      I thought the same thing and then I looked up the venue.
      It’s an old theater that’s been remodeled and actually looks pretty nice.
      Plus, it’s not too big, so hopefully no one will notice the crowd is not that big either.
      And I’ll bet it was much closer to their price range than anywhere downtown or in the west loop, etc (you know, places people actually want to go)

      Reply
  19. Zee Moo says

    November 7, 2019 at 1:29 pm

    Steve Martin found his ‘special purpose’ in the Jerk. It was having sex.

    The theme of this weeks flyers is get out there and bring in more suckers. Isn’t that a staff job? Oh, the staff only dust off the video screens these days.

    My thanks to all who have sent Mike these wonderful peeks into the $cieno life. It’s like thug life, only with just the ‘ugh’.

    Reply
  20. Pedrito Miraflores says

    November 7, 2019 at 1:14 pm

    SPECIAL COMMENDATION lol. A made up royal decree-sounding nothingburger. And it wouldn’t be Scientology material without typos: inpiring Hatting seminars. And equally confusing ‘artwork’.

    Reply
  21. Dave Fagen says

    November 7, 2019 at 1:11 pm

    A reunion for ALL Chicago public past and present? You said “All”, is that correct?

    OK, I’ll be there.

    Reply
    • Alcoboy says

      November 9, 2019 at 7:46 pm

      Make sure you bring Steve and Carol Eddington with you.
      Oh, wait. They moved to Nashville some years ago to be near their staff member kids.

      Reply
  22. Tom Ufer says

    November 7, 2019 at 11:59 am

    Winter Wonderland has a human gyroscope? Are they taking one of the machines out of the Super Power building for the general public to use?

    I wish I knew about the Ybor City thing earlier. Good opportunity to spread Aftermath Foundation cards.

    Reply
    • Alcoboy says

      November 9, 2019 at 7:49 pm

      “Are they taking one of the machines out of the Super Power building for the public to use?”
      You bet! The ultimate dissemination tool! Give ’em a few spins on that baby then reg ’em into coughing up $50,000.00 for the full experience!

      Reply
  23. Ken says

    November 7, 2019 at 11:55 am

    Hi Mike, I’ve been watching Aftermath, going through the seasons on Hulu. It’s a fantastic series. It’s educational, poweful, and at times a little sad when the stories are told of families being torn apart and the many abuses. But it’s great to see the positive impact the show is having with families coming back together.

    Reply
    • jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

      November 7, 2019 at 5:25 pm

      Ken, the ‘problem’ of Aftermath was that it took an honest look at scientology, which generates ONLY sad stories of degradation, delusion and deception. If scientology was honest in its dealings, Aftermath wouldn’t have been necessary, and the Aftermath Foundation wouldn’t have been either. Sadly, most of the people trapped within that prison are GOOD people tricked into doing the evil deeds of malignant narcissists.

      Reply
  24. Vancouver SP (temporaryID) says

    November 7, 2019 at 10:59 am

    My hear breaks a little to see Paul and Leonie Price.

    They’re longtime OTVIIIs, one of the requisite 5 core Opinion Leader Families that all orgs seem to have propping them up.

    They’re successful sweet people with 2 beautiful daughters and now several darling grandchildren.

    I can’t see how they’d ever wake up, unless perhaps both daughters decried the cult and forced a disconnection choice. I don’t think just one daughter would cause it, it would take both.

    Disconnection has harmed almost everyone I know in the Vancouver field and staff. I would surmise this is a growing truth in all orgs.

    I saw them at Flag around the release of the Golden Age of Lies II in the autumn of 2013 or early in 2014. We discussed how they were ordered to do the new Solo Course despite both having done OT VII and VIII at least twice already. Neither of them were happy about it, that was obvious, but… they were beginning to work out how and when. There was pressure for them to do MORE VII. I was pretty flabbergasted. I think they were also working on getting approval to twin on the SRD back in Vancouver.

    The ship was pressuring them and dangling/threatening OT 9 preps and elig requirements.

    ASHO ran this big-deal CF project in the mid 90’s, giving $25.00 of training awards per hour worked. You had to put in a minimum of 25 hours a week to qualify. Vancouver was one of the many orgs to copy this program before it was cancelled by Int as being “out-exchange”. (They then tried to get the volunteers to continue for free or join staff, everyone quit instead)

    Before it was cancelled, Vancouver had about a quarter of it all done.

    But… if there were literally 30-200 “address unknown” returns for the same person in 1996, how many MORE “adunks” per person have piled up?

    It’s all such a bloody waste.

    I can be so grateful for being out, but suddenly seeing faces of good people stuck in really takes the glow off for the day.

    Reply
    • Formost says

      November 23, 2019 at 4:15 am

      ASHO ran this big-deal CF project in the mid 90’s, giving $25.00 of training awards per hour worked.

      I remember that.

      Never knew them. Mostly the Price’s only showed up for events.

      Reply
    • Cindy says

      November 23, 2019 at 12:14 pm

      “The ship was pressuring them and dangling/threatening OT 9 preps and elig requirements.” This is so funny! Considering OT IX will never come out because it doesn’t exist, it means they got compliance dangling an invisible ghost carrot. How stupid can people be to knuckle under based on losing something that was never there in the first place!

      Reply
  25. Joe Pendleton says

    November 7, 2019 at 10:51 am

    Wait a darn minute … They are actually CHARGING kids for those activities at Winter Wonderland … Heck, to get the bodies in the shop stat up and create some good PR, they should be PAYING people to attend! Criminy! What omadans! (which as I recall is Irish for idiots, though I may be slightly off).

    Reply
    • jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

      November 7, 2019 at 5:49 pm

      AND ANYONE who buys ANYTHING from the org, FLOG in that case, gets added to CF and receives forest-killing tons of spam from them forever, or until they’re declared, if that even changes any of their promo policies.

      Reply
    • Cindy Temps says

      November 23, 2019 at 12:15 pm

      They are charging people to get into Winter Wonderland? I would think they would do it or FREE to get some good PR for the church in Clearwater because clearly they only have black PR as witnessed by the comments and replies on line to the church’s hearalding of watch our channel posts.

      Reply
  26. PeaceMaker says

    November 7, 2019 at 10:47 am

    Maybe Scientology can no longer justify paying prime holiday rates at the Shrine, with attendance shrinking. Or perhapse they hope to get a few more people to come if they don’t schedule their event at the holiday peak when people may have other conflicts or be traveling.

    In 3-1/2 years that couple have gotten done 3,000 out of 20,000 folders – 15%. It would only take them about 20 more years to finish! And while Scientology’s cumbersome and outdated system makes the task daunting, that’s actually a small number of contacts for a long-established organization in an area with a large population.

    Reply
    • Dead Men Tell No Tales Bill Straass says

      November 8, 2019 at 11:41 am

      I used to be FSO staff. They want the food so they can feed their slaves.

      Reply
  27. Joe Pendleton says

    November 7, 2019 at 10:44 am

    I have to say that the CF post was the funniest in a long time. These two admit PROUDLY that they’ve been handling CF for 3 1/2 years, have made three thousand folders and still have TWENTY THOUSAND more to go!!!

    This almost seems like a parody /satire post … a joke promo to see if people are paying attention … yeah, kind of a pair of pathetic oldsters … shouldn’t they be in course training as auditors?

    Reply
    • Imaberrated says

      November 7, 2019 at 3:28 pm

      They can use it as an excuse. They are actively contributing, so maybe they can escape some regging, and because they’re entrenched, the org couldn’t disestablish a working installation, so they plod on, enslaved, but they have chosen the form of their enslavement, so that’s better than it being dictated to them.

      It’s nice to have an excuse to work in a quiet area away from the front-lines madness.

      Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      November 7, 2019 at 10:18 pm

      Hubbard would say that they’re dramatizing Arslycus!

      Reply
    • ammo alamo says

      November 8, 2019 at 3:14 am

      How could 3,000 (or 23,000) file folders get so disorganized? You’d think no one has been taking care of any CF work since the Apollo was sunk by a runaway locomotive*

      *Actually, the Apollo wasn’t sunk, and the locomotive wasn’t exactly a runaway, but it sounded dramatic when I wrote it. Read about it in one of the most entertaining articles Jeffrey Augustine ever wrote about Hubbard’s Folly:

      https://scientologymoneyproject.com/2018/09/29/what-a-train-wreck-the-ignominious-fate-of-scientologys-original-flagship-the-apollo/

      Reply
    • Dead Men Tell No Tales Bill Straass says

      November 8, 2019 at 11:46 am

      Joe:
      At least when they get those 20K done (If they are still alive) there will not be many more new ones made.

      Reply
  28. d lawless says

    November 7, 2019 at 10:15 am

    OMG… The terribly poor writing skills…. Grammar school, anyone? Not if you are in THIS ‘religion’. Not now, and apparently not in any of their prior lives. No need for basic readin, writin, or rithmatic when ya gotta save the planet. Still wondering exactly what ‘saving the planet’ actually means……

    Reply
    • Imaberrated says

      November 7, 2019 at 3:29 pm

      It’s been so long that people have probably forgotten about the KTL. In my day, you were expected to do it, and grammar improved dramatically.

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        November 8, 2019 at 3:09 pm

        KTL is not delivered anymore. A shame. It was a great course. Helped me a lot and I got a lot out of it that I still use every day. But this is all very subjective, I speak only for myself. Back in the day, others I knew hated it and got nothing out of it.

        Reply
      • Formost says

        November 23, 2019 at 4:20 am

        Great course … clay table auditing was fantastic. Vastly picked up my studies.

        Reply
        • Wynski says

          November 23, 2019 at 11:43 am

          ANOTHER scamologist troll that doesn’t even know what they did and why. Formost Idiot, CT wasn’t designed to improve your study ability. The brainwashed don’t even know what they are supposed to be brainwashed into Lmao

          Reply
  29. Miss Dutch says

    November 7, 2019 at 9:16 am

    Is Shawn D. the guy in the middle? Geeze, they actually need to hold him upright! How loaded was he when he signed the contract, wrote the blurb, and took the picture?

    Reply
    • AnaF says

      November 7, 2019 at 2:15 pm

      The hours, the pay & the futility of it all.

      In my language we call the effort that accomplished nothing “grinding water”.

      Scientology is a big rusty water grinder. With a wrench stuck inside for extra challenge.

      Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      November 7, 2019 at 10:55 pm

      “Why You Joined Staff”.

      Yo Staff Member,
      The truth is, its a huge mystery.
      A secret!
      You see, you may THINK you know why you joined staff.
      But, believe me, you do NOT!
      The real reason is a secret that’s been buried for 40 million years!
      My name is Aquamarine, and you are invited to a seminar I’ll be giving at your org, aptly named “Class V Org Staff and the Whole Track”.
      YOU were a staff member Before Earth!
      Find out more, like, what was your post?
      Incredible data!
      Curious? I thought so!
      Well, then, come to my…wait!
      WAIT!
      What’s this I’m hearing?
      You’re NOT curious…?
      Not in the least?
      Honestly?
      Look, is this possible?
      Not to mention polite, given that you’re crapping all over my clever come-on to get you to fork out 50 bucks for this thing!
      You’re not curious, you say? None of you want to learn about this, eh?
      Is there something wrong with you, like, mentally?
      Are you impaired in some way?
      Must be.
      Sounds like I’ve been outflowing to a bunch of other fish-fryin’, out-KSW DILETTANTES.
      So SCREW all of you.
      DON’T come to my seminar!
      At which you could have had FREE REFRESHMENTS by the way!
      And DON’T join staff!
      Which you’re not doing anyway, but that’s beside the point!
      Enjoy your next Dark Age, Dilettantes!
      Much love,
      Aqua

      Reply
      • Alcoboy says

        November 9, 2019 at 7:56 pm

        To: Aquamarine
        From: David Miscavige COB RTC
        Re: insulting my staff.

        IF I EVER CATCH YOU PULLING ANOTHER STUNT LIKE THAT AGAIN, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND DANCE NAKED IN FRONT OF YOU UNTIL YOU LITERALLY PUKE OUT YOUR INSIDES!
        YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

        ML
        Dave

        Reply
        • Komodo Dragon says

          November 10, 2019 at 12:22 pm

          I’m puking my guts out just at the mental image of Tiny Boots dancing naked! Gotta go hurl some more-thanks so much Alcoboy.

          Reply
          • Alcoboy says

            November 10, 2019 at 5:00 pm

            Glad to oblige

            Reply
  30. Belynda says

    November 7, 2019 at 9:09 am

    Have you seen the latest on GPB (Tony O’s/Jeffrey A’s – blogs)? Their house of cards is beginning to fold – very quickly! Any bets on who is the first to turn tail and run (TC/JT or KA)?

    Reply
    • Alcoboy says

      November 9, 2019 at 8:03 pm

      To: Belynda
      From: David Miscavige COB RTC
      Re: people running

      YOU MUST NOT TRUST THE WOG MEDIA! NOBODY IS RUNNING AWAY FROM SCIENTOLOGY! WHY? BECAUSE I SAY SO! IN FACT, I AM MEETING RIGHT NOW WITH QUEEN ELIZABETH II TO CLOSE A REG CYCLE THAT WILL MAKE ME KING OF ENGLAND WHEN SHE DIES!
      TOUGH SHIT, CHARLES!
      YOU TOO, CAMILLA!

      ML
      Dave

      Reply
  31. Chee Chalker says

    November 7, 2019 at 8:56 am

    So….the Africa “jam” session (or, should I say “sesh” to keep with the cool, hip vibe of Scientology) …..

    “If music be the food of life, play on” is a re-invention of a line from Shakespeare’s ‘Twelfth Night’.

    Shakespeare wrote:

    “If music be the food of love, play on”

    I find the switch of the word ‘love’ for the word ‘life’ interesting.
    Why not leave it as it was originally written?
    Is it because ‘love’ is not on the Tone Scale?

    Or did someone simply misremember the actual line?

    In the bigger picture, this doesn’t mean much I suppose, but if you are going to rip off a line from one of the greatest writers of all time (no, not LRH for the OSAbots reading these comments) for fundraising purposes, why not leave the line intact?

    Reply
  32. SILVIA says

    November 7, 2019 at 8:35 am

    Therapy or Torture…is the poster talking about scientology handlings and auditing under miscavige’s leadership?

    Very close indeed.

    Reply
  33. Cindy says

    November 7, 2019 at 8:29 am

    The poster about the red headed lady who is so trained and will be speaking, they call her a “Life Improvement Counselor.” Wow, the word auditor or Scientology don’t appear anywhere. Are you now afraid to have people know it is Scientology up front? Do you get them in using euphemisms for what you do instead of just calling it Scn counseling or auditing?

    Reply
    • jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

      November 7, 2019 at 5:36 pm

      Cindy, they’ve already discovered that scientology is a VERY negative “button” outside the bubble, so MUST find an ‘acceptable truth’ to present to the unwary. ANYone who is “Curious” will look it up on the ‘net and discover the real truth of the organization.The promoters can’t give people that chance, but must keep the truth hidden until the wogs have been enslaved. (And beyond, if they can.)

      Reply
  34. Mark says

    November 7, 2019 at 8:13 am

    Wow.
    More EPIC, MAGICAL, HISTORIC culty bullshit and public scientological squirming
    and wanking!
    Nice work, Pimping Pope Davy!
    The beatings, fundraising, recruiting of new slaves, and swilling of Macallan
    shall continue with Tone 40 intention!

    Reply
    • jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

      November 7, 2019 at 5:29 pm

      Mark, In Dwarfenführer’s evil little brain, it makes sense to say”The floggings will continue until morale improves.” He’d be a right “Captain Bligh” in the 18th century British navy.

      Reply
      • Mark says

        November 8, 2019 at 5:14 am

        Jere, you are absolutely correct.
        Let the beatings, boot-lickings(at least they are munchkin boots), floor-lickings, cesspool-diving, shit-shovelling, and other thetan-correcting activities continue until Teegeeack is cleared…of people willing to subjrect themselves to such abuse…
        Meanwhile, in cell block 47, Bubba croons “Davy, you don’t have to put on the red dress anymore!”, as he irons an orange mini jumper for the future
        ecclesiastical cell block bitch…

        Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        November 8, 2019 at 4:08 pm

        Indeed, the Dwarf makes a perfect Captain Bligh. Question is who will be his Fletcher Christian? A girl I can dream.

        Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      November 8, 2019 at 4:04 pm

      “More EPIC, MAGIC, HISTORIC, culty bullshit…” I LOL’d.

      Reply
    • Alcoboy says

      November 9, 2019 at 8:06 pm

      Just an aside, who exactly is wanking? Is there going to be a group wanking at the next event? Please let me know so I know not to attend.

      Reply

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