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Thursday Funnies

April 28, 2022 By Mike Rinder 22 Comments

 

This is an Advanced Org?

And 6 of them were kids…

 

The magic combination of sweat and niacin

It makes EVERYTHING better. Your confidence. Communication. Serenity…

 

This is an AO?

Dubious advice on how to make your art understood?

 

A Clear!

Woohoo… Just 750 million more needed.

 

Artists for a Better World

Making their presence felt.

Or maybe not….

 

An Evening with LRH

He’s BACK!! What is he doing with Steve Latch?

He should be heading to his $10 million mansion on the hill at Gold. Or one of the other 6 places that have been built for his return.

 

Chicago Org

Trying to get some brownie points with the locals

 

There’s a new destination in Clearwater!

One of the dozens of scientology owned properties is actually no longer vacant. Cause for celebration!

 

That’s a strange quoted to highlight?

He didn’t get it done and he hasn’t come back…

 

 

Sounds very underwhelming

 

Chicago — it’s all happening this weekend

 

Even a “Flag executive”

 

Oooh, and the D/Director of Training Flag

 

And a live singer too

The only question is whether they are putting all this effort into it as a smokescreen. At the last minute, they will announce they are doing a grand ribbon yanking event and Voldemort will be swooping in at the last minute to make an appearance.

 

Scientologist gets elected…

Is this the start of a new trend?

Suspect not.

In developed areas of the world, being known as a scientologist if you are a candidate is a death wish.

Wonder if anyone even knows Barry Paul is a scientologist?

 

Kiddie Corner

Sad as always

Scientology is diversifying

And Hubbard’s ashes are spinning.

I can imagine his reaction if he heard about this. Rage.

 

That hair…

And not much of a success story

 

“Gearing up for expansion”

I thought that happened before they “went ideal” and the expansion was 1oX AFTER they went ideal?

Ten years later they are just now “gearing up”?

 

Good luck with that…

No sane person in the world would agree that not enough cigarettes gives you lung cancer or if you drink a lot of coffee it will put you to sleep.

Hubbard was an outlier. Way out.

 

An OT Panel

Clive is still out there trying to make that 10,000.

He’s going to do it or die in the attempt.

My bet is that he dies before the target is accomplished.

 

On the same day as Clive’s Panel?

Not too coordinated.

This guy is such a phony.

But he has cottoned on to the idea of having his “signature” everywhere, like Ron. Not even Captain Miscavige does this. Corny.

 

How to break into acting

I would love to hear her pitch on this. Do you think it might involve taking a scientology course or buying some auditing?

 

Ethics and the Conditions

According to Mr. Lewis, this is a “joyous” subject.

What planet is this guy on.

 

 

 

An OT VIII Reunion

Q. Why was this attended by OT VII’s?

A. Because if they only had OT VIII’s there would have been less than 10 in attendance.

 

 

Actually, nobody has ever SEEN any results

They have been TOLD there are results. And they see photos designed to make it appear there are results.

What would happen if the WTH booklets were distributed to every mailbox in LA?

Not a thing. Nada.

Trees sacrificed for no reason.

 

 

 

Not Funny, but worthy of note

Leah Abady was an institution at the Miami Org. Sadly she had nowhere else to go. At least their message was respectful (if deluded) and dignified.

It is sad to see elderly people who can’t get themselves out of the trap.

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: AOSHAf, AOSHEU, Barry Paul, Chicago org, Clive Rabey, Kenya, Kristen Henry King, Leah Abady, Melbourne org, Michael Lewis, Prelude, Rafferty Pendery, Steve Latch, valley org, way to happiness

Comments

  1. CB says

    May 6, 2022 at 12:38 am

    Something that’s so striking to me about these (as a non-Scientologist) is how banal a lot of them are. Terrible fonts, prosaic events… Definitely not what I expected from the evil empire of Scientology.

    I want to say that if I were a new recruit, I might have the thought “These are the people who have the answers? These events are thought up by people who represent the pinnacle of human development?” Of course, if I were a new recruit, I’d quickly brush those thoughts aside, but really I may as well have joined a local Christian church instead and participated in their bake sales.

    Reply
  2. Eyes wide says

    April 28, 2022 at 6:44 pm

    Interesting about scientologists promoting functions etc re art, artists, creativity and your colours. Suggest this is another wolf clothed in sheep clothing to try and bring in the poor unsuspecting public into the jaws of Scientology. Obviously it’s desperate times for them. I’m seeing this just starting to rise in Australia too with “businesses” pod casts, online course providers etc appearing.

    On another note, a very damming article published in the Sydney Morning Herald today re Scientology accused of child trafficking, forced labour of Australians and covering up multiple sexual assaults.

    Reply
  3. GL says

    April 28, 2022 at 6:04 pm

    Ooh boy, the screams of “outrage” from $camology will level Clearwater. The Masterson case and other assorted lawsuits are bad enough but when the staff smell the odour of boiling scotch they will know the tiny tyrant is not happy.

    https://www.smh.com.au/national/scientology-accused-of-child-trafficking-forced-labour-of-australians-20220427-p5aghi.html

    Reply
  4. Bryon Eckert says

    April 28, 2022 at 3:46 pm

    Bay Area unites? What are they raising money for? Probably for paying their back bills. Generating GI through delivering services just can’t pay the bills these days.

    Reply
  5. Free Minds, Free Hearts says

    April 28, 2022 at 2:19 pm

    That Prelude pic in Clearwater seems to actually be a prelude itself – it is a rendering of what this will look like when it is done. Meanwhile the author threatens many many posts and admits they plan to blather on about it. Sounds about right for a clam.

    Reply
  6. Linear13 says

    April 28, 2022 at 1:00 pm

    Christopher Owens…let’s see maybe you’re about to wake up OR go just the opposite direction. Obviously he has a ‘wog’ friend that he has been ‘disseminating’ to and has brought up Hubs made up dreck about drugs. Hubs drug booklets that they hand out to schoolchildren no less is full of wrong info. This crap about the dosage of a drug making it a stimulant or depressive is dangerous. Mr. Owens is NEVER going to find any ‘wog’ literature agreeing with Hubs made up shite. Maybe if he studies the web long enough he might wake up and question what’s been shoved down his throat all these years.

    Hey these pills make me sleepy when I take one…according to Hubs I can take a handful and they will instead become a stimulant. Bad advice.

    Reply
  7. Geoff Levin says

    April 28, 2022 at 12:13 pm

    Michael Lewis talking in glowing terms about ethics and conditions. Lewis makes about as much sense as the Mad Hatter in Alice In Wonderland.

    Reply
  8. Zee Moo says

    April 28, 2022 at 11:36 am

    I see a lot of bragging, swaggering and lying. That is the EP of all $cieno adverts.

    Reply
  9. BKmole says

    April 28, 2022 at 10:16 am

    Celebrity Centre has hit a new low promoting a seminar with actress Kristen Henry King. She has done a handful of bit parts on TV since 2015.(see IMDb). That’s the best they’ve got now? They must be really hurting.

    Reply
  10. Loosing my Religion says

    April 28, 2022 at 10:10 am

    This time I have to agree with Michael Lewis. Ethics in scn is a joy and an enjoyment.
    Especially when the one who administers it to you is heavily “dramatizing his case” as a (reactive) reaction to a senior who is freaking out and dramatizing himself his own case all over the place for hours and even days.
    The graveyard of mental sanity

    Reply
  11. GL says

    April 28, 2022 at 9:24 am

    Jierra Clark; another complete nobody outside $camology.

    https://www.rottentomatoes.com/celebrity/jierra_clark

    She did 2 singles on Bungalo Records (and doesn’t even get rate a mention on the site).

    Mr Worthless in 2014 @ 5.08 minutes.
    Heroes Tribute (Thank You) in 2014 @4.45 minutes.

    Award winning singer, song writer and artist? Suurree isn’t. Couldn’t find any mention of any awards. Oh, I see now, they must all be shitty worthless and meaningless $camology awards. Like I said a, complete nobody.

    Reply
    • Phillip says

      April 29, 2022 at 2:37 am

      I looked her up also. Saw where she’s got 10 monthly listeners on Spotify.

      I couldn’t find any awards mentioned so I’ll venture a guess that she won the “Best Singer” award for her 6th grade talent contest.

      Reply
  12. Mark says

    April 28, 2022 at 9:15 am

    Ah, the usual suspects:
    Clive Rabies, Meghan Fuckoff, and Raffleme Pendajo( pronounced “pen-DAY-ho”).

    Valley OTC: Onanist Twat Conference…and they are “holding a (sic) bookathan”

    “How to break in to acting?” Follow the Pope Pimp McSavage Protocol: SCOHB(hint: a specific, paid oral activity on Hollywood Boulevard)

    Lyssandra Hercus is here to jerk us…about The Ideal Whore Program…

    Mr. Thuvesholmen’s success story is all about that Sciborg Suck, the post-hypnotic-fuck-state-of-cuck…

    Though her style of singing isn’t my cup of tea, Jierra Clark does it well. I wish her a speedy awakening from the cult-induced state of knuckleheadedness…

    Tomislav, fuck the state of “clear”. Just have beer…and walk away from the cult.

    Reply
    • safetyguy says

      April 28, 2022 at 2:16 pm

      Hey, Mark, tell us how you really feel. Laughing my butt off.

      Reply
    • Ms. B. Haven says

      April 28, 2022 at 6:49 pm

      Mark, I think you need to break out your dictionary and do a bit of word clearing and you will discover that the correct pronunciation of Raffleme’s last name is pronounced ‘pen-da-HOE’. Rhymes with and is synonymous with ‘i-am-uh-HOE’.

      Reply
      • Mark says

        April 29, 2022 at 12:30 pm

        Ms. B,
        That works, yes!
        I was simply alluding to the Spanish word and its pronunciation…😉😎

        Reply
  13. otherles says

    April 28, 2022 at 9:11 am

    I once attended a folk music concert. The opening act was a woman from Iowa who spent more time explaining how she wrote a song than actually playing them.

    Reply
  14. Dotey OT says

    April 28, 2022 at 8:44 am

    It is a sad thing to see so many kids. This is no accident, this is a personnel pool for the future.

    Too bad you can’t really pick your parents.

    Reply
    • Phillip says

      April 29, 2022 at 2:30 am

      When you don’t want YOUR picture in $ci.. promos you send in your kids (with the added bonus that they’re cuter).

      Or if you’re the pho-tog you can’t be using pictures of the same 8 people over and over for the local morgue.

      Reply
  15. safetyguy says

    April 28, 2022 at 8:34 am

    I continue to be amazed at this stuff. Spending all that money on properties and “destinations” for people to celebrate and eat and drink and have fun which are pointed at people who have money. (We all know why) How about spending some of that money and using some of that property to help people in need? You know, the ones who could really use the helping hand to lift them up. Not another place they cannot go because they can’t afford it.

    They could at least try once to help the needy but no, they only want the people who seem to have it together so they can “pick their pockets” and credit cards to line the pockets of the “church.”

    Where is the love for mankind? There is none.

    Reply
    • Linear13 says

      April 28, 2022 at 12:50 pm

      You have to remember that Hubs shitty logo is “To make the able more able”. Well if your poor, homeless, or perhaps stricken by some terrible disease in Hubs world you are not ‘able’. This was one of my chief complaints about ‘clearing the planet’. Just how is Sci going to ‘clear’ all of those people who have a yearly income less than even the cheapest intro course? Crickets. What about all of those who are living from paycheck to paycheck? Oh yeah…they aren’t ‘able’ enough. I.e. Cult. Even the most deluded of them have to lie to themselves daily to believe this crock.

      Reply
      • safetyguy says

        April 28, 2022 at 3:42 pm

        That is my point. But they care sooooo much about people.

        Not

        Reply

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