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Thursday Funnies

May 11, 2023 By Mike Rinder 34 Comments

 

Kiddie Corner

 

Come for the “Atmosphere”

But don’t forget your checkbook.

 

A life-changing experience?

Walking through an old house?

 

The future is in your hands…

Not ours.

 

No graduates, just some songs

 

CCHR swag…

Get it now, why?

Might be SFO’s big GI source this week. $100 for t-shirts and hats.

 

It IS getting done

Believe us. We have never said this before.

 

Kids now being promoted at “graduation”

 

Drugs…

They got 6 people together to say they’re bad and hold a sign. Amazing…

 

The history of freedom — from L. Ron Hubbard?

 

Our time?

 

More kids…

 

Some Nice Fika!

 

News on Manchester Expansion

That will take 2 seconds — there is none.

 

It’s happening!

You must read today. Or Manchester isn’t happening?

 

Yeah, these guys are the masters of PR and Marketing

Just look at the great PR they have and their shrinking size…

 

Mother’s Day

From the organization that breaks up families

 

Bart’s back…

It’s easy for your family to go up the bridge when you make tens of millions a year.

Where has she been?

 

Getting on “the level”

No time for kids…

 

Mr. Robert Wiggins

Bobby has gone all gentrified?

And his qualifications for NN are all his scientology certificates?

 

The Secratary

I think Qual needs to be spellchecking their posters.

Even a NY Org staff member went to Africa rather than AOLA…

 

Reg event alert…

 

Emigrate?

Why don’t they get some people in Chico?

 

The Jive Asses

 

Without Ideal Orgs we cannot clear the planet…

 

More kids…

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: Bobby Wiggins, Carmel Helene, Jack Murphy, Jive Aces, Joel Kirk, Judy Bechar, Kareem Abouzeid, Ken Kleinsasser, Luke Wilkens, Myles Parker, Nancy Cartwirght, Nicola Cramer, Olageur Rodriguez, Patrick Smith, Scarlet Martin, Taylor Martin, Victoria Lee

Comments

  1. LongFallBlowdown says

    May 17, 2023 at 12:05 pm

    Regarding the Chicago Org scene event ,It actually states

    “This is not a recruitment or fundraising event”

    So finally they have to say this to get people to attend LOL LOL

    Now that really is a Thursday Funny, hilarious

    Reply
  2. Linear13 says

    May 12, 2023 at 11:28 am

    The Bay Head House has an address of 666 East Ave Bay Head NJ. I wonder if this was always the address or if someone in the 911 addressing system had a funny sense of humor. I’m almost positive that was not the original address.

    I live in a very rural area and when 911 was rolled out the county re-addressed every house and named every road. Although in this day and age of gps it’s hard to imagine roads that did not have names, in rural areas like where I abide very few roads had names. We had box numbers that’s it. I wonder if something similar happened here and some observant addressing person decided 666 would be apt for this house. I know here in the Deep South if the county tried to give someone that house number most would refuse it and probably the person in charge of addressing wouldn’t use it. But…someone in Bay Head NJ had a sense of humor like I would have.

    Reply
    • PeaceMaker says

      May 12, 2023 at 8:42 pm

      Linear, I checked and 666 was actually the address when Hubbard lived in Bay Head – though I wonder if he picked the place to rent because it was the sort of occult reference to his less than savory side he seemed to like to make, expecting that most of his followers or marks would be too ignorant to wise up to it.

      https://tonyortega.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Hubbard1950Census2.jpg

      Retreived from https://tonyortega.org/2022/05/05/1950-us-census-proves-scientology-founder-l-ron-hubbard-did-indeed-have-a-second-wife/

      It’s odd alright that such an address would originally have been used at all back when the US was significantly more Christian, but not everyone must have known or thought of the apocalyptic connotations – it’s hardly the only example. And it turns out that even to this day, that negatively affects the sale price of properties:

      > https://appraisalbuzz.com/superstition-in-real-estate/

      Reply
  3. pete jensen says

    May 12, 2023 at 4:52 am

    Hey mike, how was it driving that new escalade in aftermath series? im thinking of purchasing one. just wanted your opinion

    Reply
    • PeaceMaker says

      May 12, 2023 at 8:23 pm

      Hey pete, how is it working essentially unpaid for cult overlords, being at their beck and call every waking hour, with no permitted outlet for frustration and grievances except to attack scapegoated outsiders?

      Ask Scientology’s lawyers and PIs about the high life; they are the ones along with Dear Leader COB making the real money off the CofS, while members drowning in debt from ‘fixed donations’ drive old jalopies, and workers who may not even have a bicycle to their name eat rice and beans.

      Reply
      • Pete says

        May 12, 2023 at 9:08 pm

        Thanks? I don’t know how this answers my question at all lol. I went with the Yukon anyhow. Love it !

        Best wishes. SPTV 4 Life

        Reply
        • PeaceMaker says

          May 13, 2023 at 11:30 am

          Pete, was that really an honest question to begin with? It seemed more like a typical disingenuous covert attack making accusations that criticizing and exposing Scientology is just to make money — false, but typically hypocritical because Scientology itself is obsessed with “MAKE MONEY, MAKE MORE MONEY, MAKE OTHERS PRODUCE SO AS TO MAKE MONEY” (capitals original) according to “scripture”, and only will do things that might normally be considered charitable (such as providing pastoral counseling) with lavish financial “exchange”.

          Reply
          • Pete says

            May 14, 2023 at 12:31 am

            It’s a fucking question about a car he was driving which was obviously rented in the aftermath show. How do you read into that as anything more than that.

            Reply
            • Mike Rinder says

              May 14, 2023 at 10:09 am

              Yeah seemed innocent enough. I didn’t like it. Too big. Like driving a truck. Lots of gadgets but no fun.

              Reply
        • Mark says

          May 13, 2023 at 12:41 pm

          Hi Pete,
          Perhaps you’d benefit from a regular regimen of enemas, followed by a permanent vacation from cult indoctrination.
          Maybe regular showers, too, as the smell of bullshit radiating from your “space” is overwhelming…
          Just sayin’…

          Reply
          • Pete says

            May 14, 2023 at 12:31 am

            You need help man

            Reply
            • Mark says

              May 14, 2023 at 12:31 pm

              Hi Pete,
              “You need help man”, said the bankrupt, Hubbard-loving cultist.
              Hoping you are able to wake up before you’ve been totally drained of assets, critical-thinking skills, and basic humanity…
              But, assuming that you are here shilling for OSA with your “s.p.-shattering” comments, there is probably a very, very slim chance of that happening.
              Good luck with your “lower conditions”!

              Reply
  4. Aquamarine says

    May 11, 2023 at 8:45 pm

    “Seating is limited. Attendance will also be limited. Please RSVP to ensure that this thing even gets held at all. Thank you.”

    Reply
  5. Mick Wenlock says

    May 11, 2023 at 7:57 pm

    Lordluvaduck Mike, could they sound any more desperate?

    This is tragic to see.

    Reply
  6. Michael Mallen says

    May 11, 2023 at 7:20 pm

    Dave’s ARC triangle:

    Acquisitions
    Real estate
    Cash

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      May 11, 2023 at 8:41 pm

      @ Michael Mallen,

      Clever, amusing and 100% true!

      Reply
    • mark says

      May 13, 2023 at 12:48 pm

      The Macallan Munchkin’s ARC triangle:
      Assault
      Rape
      Control

      Captain Bitchslap’s KRC triangle:
      Kratom
      Risperidone
      Cocaine

      Reply
  7. Anonymous says

    May 11, 2023 at 6:15 pm

    Fika means coffee in Swedish, but “nice” doesn’t exactly sell it.

    Reply
  8. Aquamarine says

    May 11, 2023 at 4:57 pm

    “This is not a recruitment or fundraising event.”

    While not violating Hubbard’s policy of enticing public to attend an event by leaving them in mystery about what it actually IS, apparently, the cult is now compelled to issue specific reassurances to public about what it ISN’T.

    Amusing, no?

    Reply
    • Yawn says

      May 11, 2023 at 8:40 pm

      Yeah. What ever happened to, “solve it with Scientology?” Guess they forgot. Not that its PR ever worked anyway.

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        May 12, 2023 at 2:37 pm

        What’s LRH policy when it is at variance with Command Intention? Reading these Funnies again today, I’m struck with the sadness of it all – these poor fools, going into debt, throwing their money at Miscavige so that he can buy more real estate for himself; such good intentions, so blindly trusting, these poor, poor fools – what a rude awakening they’re going to have when one day if, and/or when the truth is uncovered and they have to confront it, when they can no longer twist and turn away from what is the depths of this man’s criminality as well their own fatuous happiness in having been in dupes.

        Reply
        • Aquamarine says

          May 12, 2023 at 3:21 pm

          Edit: “…in having been HIS dupes.”

          Reply
  9. angrygaypope says

    May 11, 2023 at 4:49 pm

    The “Jive Aces” strike me as screamingly homosexual. Sad they must hate themselves.

    Reply
  10. Yawn says

    May 11, 2023 at 2:31 pm

    Makes me feel like someone just walked over my grave when I see Scientology advertising put so much attention on children. It is bad enough being an adult subjected to the bait and switch and other chicanery in which Scientology operates, but kids don’t have any defense against it. No live experience to judge what is happening, just a delicate innocence. The best part of their lives is being invaded by such damaging nonsense.
    From my experience and observation, eventual regret and sorrow accompanies any long term association with the Scientology organisation, even if it is suppressed or replaced by gleeful, but never ending anticipation.

    Reply
  11. SL1978 says

    May 11, 2023 at 2:09 pm

    poor nancy cartwright and family

    Reply
  12. Zee Moo says

    May 11, 2023 at 12:35 pm

    What are ‘Freewinds style drinks’? A moscow mule in a dirty glass with rusty water?? As you can see, spring is here and Regs have come back from Capistrano…

    Reply
  13. Fred G. Haseney says

    May 11, 2023 at 11:14 am

    Re: CCHR swag… (SF Bay Area Scientologists and the May 20th Psychbust)

    Psychologists and psychiatrists were among the first to denounce Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health:

    Dianetics is “neither a good book nor a hoax but a harmful mixture of science and science fiction.”–Dr. Frederic Wertham, Psychiatrist (Austin Daily Texan, July 28, 1950);

    When asked, “Has psychiatry accepted ‘dianetics'”? Lawrence Gould, Psychologist replied, “Not so far as I know, and I doubt if it will ever do so.” (Atlanta Constitution, Sept. 20, 1950);

    A decision made, as far as the validity of Dianetics is concerned, at the 58th Annual Business Meeting of the American Psychological Association: test it only; don’t use it. (American Psychologist, Nov. 1950);

    Dianetics “does not merit serious attention. It is given critical attention here only because of the uncritical following it has attracted.”–Charles E. Bures, Assistant Professor of Philosophy and Psychology (Engineering and Science, Nov. 1950).

    Reply
    • PeaceMaker says

      May 11, 2023 at 8:19 pm

      ‘Psychbusting’ is another historic failure. There are far more actual psychiatrists than there are scientologists – not even counting psychologists and other related professionals – and they are thriving, with tens of millions of people in the US who have sought out actual scientific mental health treatment, and hundreds of millions around the planet.

      Reply
      • Fred Haseney says

        May 12, 2023 at 6:30 pm

        ‘Psychbusting’ busted!

        Reply
  14. Miss Dutch says

    May 11, 2023 at 10:58 am

    NOTHING FROM COLUMBUS!!! NOTHING FROM COLUMBUS!!! I am SOOOO happy! Doing my little happy dance of joy!

    Reply
  15. Dalton Laras says

    May 11, 2023 at 9:09 am

    “This is not a recruitment or fundraising event”…. 🤣
    Why even mention this?

    Oh wait…

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      May 11, 2023 at 5:03 pm

      🙂

      Reply
  16. otherles says

    May 11, 2023 at 8:51 am

    What is a Scientologist with out a checkbook?

    (I know, rhetorical question.)

    Reply
    • Yawn says

      May 11, 2023 at 6:01 pm

      Same as a Sandman without a bucket I suppose.

      Reply

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