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UniMed

November 1, 2016 By Mike Rinder 64 Comments

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Someone recently sent this to me. I thought it a curious piece of scientology history for a number of reasons.

Starting with the thought there is nothing new in scientology — including their cliches.

You can see it gets off to a roaring start by announcing a “milestone.” Today milestones happen a dozen times a year. Back then this was a trendsetting new word to make the lame sound amazing.

It then goes on to claim that the Secret of Flag Results is an “entertainment movie”.  Erm, not really – it was in fact a promotional piece to try and drum up business for Flag. And right up front you know you have a genuine scientology promotional piece on your hands when you read that this is a “brilliant idea (and story and screenplay) by Ron”. Today it would be “COB” in place of Ron.

here it is in all its glory:

screenshot-161 screenshot-162 screenshot-163 screenshot-164Of course, the self-congratulation and hailing the brilliance of the tech and Ron overlooks something important.  If you have ever seen this film, it makes you cringe. If you thought the Battlefield Earth movie was a bomb, it is not even in the same ballpark of cheesiness, “acting”, sets, lighting, camerawork, stilted dialogue, trite characters and feeble plot line as the Secret of Flag Results. But, they try to convince themselves that because they have study tech and Ron, they have mastered the art of movie making and have produced an Academy Award worthy milestone of film.

This is unfortunately so typical of the scientology mindset.  Here is something objectively total schlock and yet it must be praised because it is “from Ron.”

UniMed eventually became “Cine” which became Golden Era Studios. Each change of name was another milestone. Finally today the latest is the white elephant KCET — a milestone of wasted money designed to “reach the billions” and today the most expensive non-producing studio on planet earth.

The production values of scientology videos have come a long way. They brought in real outside professionals instead of going on hoping that reading books with good study tech would make them into Oscar winners. What has not changed, ironically, is that they produce entertainment – though they try to pretend their fiction/fantasy is fact. TV ads replete with blatant falsehoods about their size and results. Staged videos of humanitarian aid for internal events. Propaganda films full of lies about reporters or anyone critical of them. These things may all be a “fun, exciting and unforgettable entertainment experience,” what they are not is reality.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Church of Scientology, Golden Era Productions, public relations, Scientology

Comments

  1. Julian says

    February 24, 2019 at 10:44 pm

    After reading the segment about Hubbard’s “film-making” venture in “Bare Faced Messiah”, it really put in mind some hilarious visuals. Working on “Unfathomable Man” and Ron complaining that it needed to be “gorier” and that they used so much fake blood in the FBI attack sequence (how he must have enjoyed that) that the actors had to be cut out of their costumes when it hardened.

    Reply
  2. Mephisto says

    November 1, 2016 at 9:24 pm

    Off topic, but interesting. It’s possible Hubbard didn’t coin the term ‘org’ but got it from the creators of Buck Rogers. Here’s a quote with the appropriate link:

    The Mongols left the Americans to fend for themselves as their advanced technology prevented the need for slave labor. The scattered Americans formed loosely bound organizations or “orgs” to begin to fight back.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buck_Rogers

    Reply
  3. Dean Blair says

    November 1, 2016 at 8:36 pm

    I saw all of the films and they were in my opinion ALL bad and unprofessional. Like JR. High productions. I am sorry but they just weren’t any good and while I could not criticize them at the time without getting into a world of trouble, I can voice my honest opinion with no fear of a reprisal. All of those over sucked.

    Reply
    • Lawrence says

      November 1, 2016 at 9:25 pm

      Going to see “The Secret of Flag Results” was a MUST for all New York org staff. I went. Karen De La Carriere had come up from Flag to be a guest speaker at the event. That’s where I met her. I was 18 and she was so powerful as a being, such superb TR’s and a Class XII. It was the best event. 🙂

      Reply
    • chuckbeatty77 says

      November 1, 2016 at 10:47 pm

      I loved all the cheesy films, I saw them all too. Plus all the CDs and music, only the Power of Source was a really bad album, worse than the later Gold Musicians’ music which I bought and listened to ALL of the Gold CDs when I was in.

      “You had to be there” to immerse yourself in the hopeful cheesiness.

      What’s even more deplorable are LRH’s policies to me today, in hindsight. LRH intended such loftiness that is painfully crank and crackpot.

      You can’t make much of the old films, I wish they’d all be issued just for history purposes.

      They have loads of faces of the staffs who’ve quit, and a few public roped into acting in them here and there.

      It’d all be okay if just ONE OT were produced who could do a true supernatural miracle at will, or do something “OT” for real.

      The sad secret of Flag’s results, is hype, and rather “no results.”

      Hope for the supernatural “OT” powers being obtained by those getting the Flag auditing and L Rundowns, is what kept me there.

      No one got those, since Scientology is just selling hope, but there have never been “results” in the “OT” department by any practice on earth, it’s not within anyone’s powers to do “OT” stuff, never has been done yet.

      But Films can successfully depict “OT” miracles, at least.

      The most “OT” thing I think in any of the Hubbard “tech films” is the Emeter movie where some Scientologists are able to make the “Beep Meter” beep with their thoughts!

      LRH didn’t even script any “OT” miracles in the films, really.

      Just some “Beep Meter” beeping OT phenomena.

      It’d be interesting to a detailed paper on the Tech Films, whole history, and then divide the movies up into sub topics.

      Like is there anything religious-like in any of the movies? A few things.

      The Tech Films I think have been a major part of LRH’s final years’ thoughts about it all.

      “Why TRs” is just still a very underappreciated tech film, it gives really long range goals stuff from LRH, that is “timeless tech” value.

      The “timeless tech” criteria never made it as a datum into broad Scientologist knowledge.

      The concept of “timeless tech” LRH gave in an ASI advice, and it’s in one of the “Prosperity Bulletins” which were the issue type for ASI staff to read.

      The “timeless tech” ASI issue is so important though, I read it first when reading the “LRH Compilations Officer Full Hat” checksheet, it’s one of the issues on that checksheet, was, when I did the checksheet in 1988.

      I later was ASI staff and read that “timeless tech” issue again as part of the ASI staff hatting you do there when you become ASI staff, or it was done at least.

      “Timeless tech” ought to have been turned into a broader issue type, and given out to the whole movement.

      Long range thinking, if a person believes in the soul, and that the soul is permanent and won’t be destroyable and that soul will come back lifetime after lifetime in the future, the “Why TRs” tech film, has some really long range thinking in it.

      Why TRs supposedly are important to auditing, is that the auditor helps the preclear delve into and battle with and conquor the case of the preclear, and TRs supposedly prepare the auditor to do a decent enough job to get the “case” delved into and battled and conquored by the preclear.

      Anyways, I wish Hubbard’s side of the whole Hubbard mess would be summarized by someone someday, but it’d take violating so many of Hubbard’s rules about how to NOT summarize and short-shrift any of Hubbard’s own ideas, Hubbard disallows and the official members are crippled from decently summarizing Hubbard’s own ideas.

      So many of Hubbard’s ideas are just so ludicrously cheezy superficial and nonsense, that digging out the “raisins from the dung” would be futile there is such an avalanche of bad Hubbard nonsense that overwhelms anyone attempting, but it makes me continually think of all those nuggets of Hubbard’s ideas that get short shrift.

      “Why TRs” Tech film really has one or two major ideas that deserve being at least shared, I don’t believe the ideas, I’m atheist and don’t believe in the soul. But if the soul is immortal, and if people have “cases” that they as souls will be dragging around with them into future lives, then the “Why TRs” movie can be interpreted to be somewhat of the same level of ideas as Hubbard’s final thoughts about Hubbard going and doing the OT Running Program around Arcturus which Hubbard told Sarge he planned to do.

      I’d like to see a no holds barred discussion someday of some true believer Scientologists about what they think about their future lives and “cases” and of LRH’s “case.”

      Reply
      • Bruce Ploetz says

        November 2, 2016 at 9:03 am

        Chuck, more fun facts about “Why TRs”:

        The opening scene with Isaac Hayes and the extraterrestrial telescope was one of the first shots they ever did in the big Cine Studio at Gold. It was a huge set on a raised platform, not computer generated (except for the stars in the background). With Mitch Brisker as director and pro actors including Isaac Hayes, shooting in 35mm, this is a significantly better film than the old UniMed or early Golden Era Productions efforts.

        Also the film features actors speaking an imaginary language. You are supposed to listen to the voice-over and pay no attention to what the actors are saying, as they walk through various vignettes intended to illustrate the concepts being explained. So the actors were instructed to make up gibberish and act like they were talking to each other. If anyone has a “misunderstood word” on what the actors said in the film, it cannot be “cleared”. The sounds were never part of any language known to man. Oddly they do almost sound like they could make sense and are somewhat consistent.

        The film explains that you may, as a disembodied thetan, somehow find yourself on another planet. But still able to remember your Scientology studies. They take it so far as to show some goofballs trying to reinvent the e-meter. Very few know enough about the e-meter to actually construct one. I could do it, but your average Scientologist does not know which end of a TA pot to connect to the cans. Or what a TA pot really is. No criticism of Scientologists, you just don’t have to know that kind of detail to use a meter. So I don’t predict great success for someone who went OT VIII here on earth with reconstructing Scientology on another planet. Even if they really could remember, which is seeming less and less likely as the decades pass with no return of Ron etc.

        Just as well, we really don’t need disconnection and the Purification Rundown on other planets. It is bad enough that we have it here.

        Reply
  4. Old Surfer Dude says

    November 1, 2016 at 7:30 pm

    Does anyone remember seeing a Scientology film where a drummer hurts his wrist, but, gets a touch assist and is able to play? This is going back to the late 70s. And I’m not sure of the venue.

    Reply
    • Interested Party says

      November 2, 2016 at 8:20 am

      Sounds like “The Case He Couldn’t Crack”.

      Reply
  5. exccla says

    November 1, 2016 at 5:49 pm

    Boy, i forgot all about unimed. They were also photographing just about everyone -the fcci’s-for new promo and for the 1st volunteer ministers book. You’d see dm all over doing the movie and whatever. It wasn’t necessary to remove the people who got declared from these pamphlets as they kept doing them over and over. Poor kathy and richard worked a long time on that little movie.

    Reply
  6. Snake Thompson's Ghost says

    November 1, 2016 at 5:44 pm

    Poor “pretty Kathy Van Lypps,” who was “flown in to the Land Base” to play “Elaine Smithers, famous actress and Flag pc,” who is a “middle-aged, haggard woman.”

    On the authoritative Internet Movie Database or IMDB, I found that Kathy Van Lypps had only one single solitary listed acting credit, with eighth billing in “Ash Wednesday” (1973), a mediocre and long-forgotten, 70s-camp romantic drama, starring Liz Taylor as an aging American housewife who travels to a clinic in Switzerland for a facelift in a bid to save her marriage. The film was lensed on location in Italy using a largely European cast. The bored husband was played by a late-phase Henry Fonda.

    The article notes that Kathy Van Lypps was a Scientologist (“of course!”) and so I guess Scientology did nothing for her film career, unless it actually killed it, as has been the case for so many young hopefuls. One further learns from Google that she completed the Student Hat course at CC Int around 1976-77, and that at the end of 1977, just about the time she must have been cast for LRH’s “entertainment movie,” she completed the “Interiorization Rundown” and the “Flag Hard TRs Course,” which I don’t really know what those were.

    The rest is silence….until now.

    Reply
    • Jere Lull (37 years recovering) says

      March 16, 2018 at 7:06 am

      “Hard TRs course was my first course, in 1971: Included the full 2-hour blinkless TR0. ‘Twas tough enough that a lot of students blew rather than confront that level of pain. ‘Course, that was at a hippy commune masquerading as a mission and before the Sea Org instituted “hard Ethics” universally, so it was fairly easy to escape the torture.

      Meanwhile, I was AT Flag when that issue of “Source” went out. Nearly had an accident getting the mailing to the Post office. Yet, I have no memory if that movie.

      DO remember a honkin’ good holiday party just prior to the mailing and some of the hoo-hah of ubimed trying to do its thing, so it’s not one on my senior moments to not remember a movie that probably was engrammatic to have to sit through.

      Reply
  7. roger hornaday says

    November 1, 2016 at 4:59 pm

    There is a YouTube page which promises to live stream it Oct. 8 and it provides a link to a website where you may watch it now if you do a free membership sign up. Not being sure what I was signing up for I passed in favor of the YT live stream Oct. 8.

    The film should be informative as to official auditing/emeter theory vs opinions about it. It’s straight from SOURCE as they say.

    I remember seeing the film at the Atlanta mission when I was a newbie. I forgave all its shortcomings. I was too excited about going CLEAR! I recall a dramatization where a woman had suddenly become a train wreck. Her case had gone south with all the trimmings so she went to Flag. While in session she was able to recollect being molested by her dentist while under general anesthesia. Needless to say she was cured and back to being CLEAR again. In truth I was very distressed to learn a CLEAR could be subject to
    fucked-upness like that but I put it out of my mind as I would a thousand other things before it was over.

    Reply
  8. Brian says

    November 1, 2016 at 2:58 pm

    A friend of mine went down to Flag to work on this project. When he came back we were all excited to hear stories about Ron and his experience.

    When we asked him how his experience was he looked traumatized. Being that we were still bubble heads this body language simply got denied.

    But I tell you, his face looked like he’d seen a ghost.

    It was a very similar facial expression when Arthur Hubbard was hanging out in my house in Hollywood.

    When asked about his father, his eyes immediately looked at the floor. He looked away from us and with a pained demeanor said,” I don’t see much of my dad, only at special occasions like Christmas. We have dinner.”

    My bubble head mind completely went into denial with Arthur’s very perceptible look of angst when talking about dear Ole Dad.

    In retrospect now that the words “opened minded and reasonable” have been restored to their former glory, I see that Arthur’s demeanor is from a person stressed out by oppression and depression. A direct response when asking about his dad.

    I asked the question and his emotions plummeted. Very telling.

    I think I may have performed at that Paladium event. It was packed.

    Reply
  9. zemooo says

    November 1, 2016 at 1:38 pm

    I am running down to my neighborhood Blockbuster to get me a copy of ‘The Secret of Flag Results’. Or will be at my local library? Wait, that is what SuMP is up to, digitizing SFR for the new day when everyone has content beaming directly into their brains!!! Brains!!! Now I yearn for the Zombie Apocalypse…and holloween is over….or is it??

    Reply
  10. Harpoona Frittata says

    November 1, 2016 at 1:35 pm

    ” If you have ever seen this film, it makes you cringe.” I can well imagine!

    I’d love to see it and “The Case He Couldn’t Crack” as well because there’s a point in every truly bad movie that it goes right over the top and become highly entertaining! Unfortunately for any $cilon who couldn’t avoid laughing out loud at it, your ass would be carted off to Ethics for some serious sec checking, like BAM, right now! All authoritarian regimes turn out the very worst “art” imaginable, then they’re all required to praise it or be tortured or killed…not exactly a culture that encourages creativity.

    Now, decades later, with their fabulously outfitted new SuMP facilities, we can look forward to many more of these instant classic being cranked out every year…that is, right after their next fundraising campaign is complete. I really think that there best move there is to feature Nancy Cartwright (the voice of Bart Simpson) in a cartoon version of Elron’s whole track misadventures. She could do all the characters’ voices (including Xenu’s), thus saving tons of cash. I just know it would be the smash hit that $cn has wanted to make ever since Elron walked among us.

    Reply
  11. Espiando says

    November 1, 2016 at 1:17 pm

    Terrific. All of the resources they had available to them, and they come up with something even more amateurish and mind-warping than Manos, The Hands Of Fate.

    Does anyone have a desire to get a copy of this thing and send it over to Rifftrax? Like what they did with Manos back in their MST3K days, it may be the only way this thing might be watchable.

    Reply
  12. Bruce Ploetz says

    November 1, 2016 at 1:07 pm

    “Secret of Flag Results” and “Case He Couldn’t Crack” were released in 8 mm Technicolor cartridges. I think you could still show them up to about 1983, but when David Mayo blew it was a problem for “Secret of Flag Results”. I don’t remember seeing it in the 16 mm or digital formats.

    Most of the films that were shot in the early days are marred by the defection of the main actors. Laurel Sullivan and Dan Koon for example in the “Pro TRs Film”. I was in four of the second generation Tech films and was the “Postman” in the “TRs in Life” film. All those films are long gone now. Just as well, they were cheesy beyond belief.

    Finally Dave Miscavige started using professional actors. But that backfired in the cases of Larry Anderson, Jason Beghe and others. Probably their smartest move would be to redo all the films in animation format. Just put a few dozen animation workstation cubicles in the huge sound stage at the Cine Studio at Gold.

    What a waste of time, effort and money that would be. But par for the course with today’s Scientology.

    Reply
    • Gus Cox says

      November 2, 2016 at 12:00 am

      The only problem with that is, even the animated characters would end up blowing and getting declared!

      Reply
    • thegman77 says

      November 2, 2016 at 9:32 am

      Dinky has ALL the money at his fingertips. He spends like a drunken sailor, but gets very little results from any of it. The foundation was rotted to begin with and the “structures” – no matter how much he spends – always collapse.

      Reply
  13. Harvey says

    November 1, 2016 at 1:04 pm

    O/T but being the social personality I am with obvious social personality traits as laid out by the “Old Man”, I wanted to pass on some GOOD NEWS.

    I passed by a Scino mission last night and 1 car in the parking lot. Tomorrow if they have 2 that will be an unprecedented 100X expansion. Reserve your auditor today folks, they’re going fast.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      November 1, 2016 at 1:28 pm

      It turned out that the guy in the parked car, pulled in to read his map as he had gotten lost. But I’m sure another Scientologist will show up in a week or two…

      Reply
  14. Dan Locke says

    November 1, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    Personally, I think you are being quite too hard on the film. Being that I was org staff at the time, I’ve probably seen the thing fifty times or more. I betcha after a few beers I could recall a dozen lines and scenes from the film, even today. Right now, “RPF – here somebody comes!” is the only one that comes immediately to mind.

    There were a LOT of things right about the film, particularly when you consider that it was 1978 and would have been a VERY low budget film even if the crew were paid union wages at the time, rather than SO pay. I’d be happy to talk over these fine points with anyone, but I’d want those beers first!

    I have only one thing to object to about SFR. The end credits list, basically, EVERYTHING being done by the old man. Everything.

    (Rolling Credits)

    Produced by
    L. Ron Hubbard

    Directed by
    L. Ron Hubbard

    Screenplay by
    L. Ron Hubbard

    Music By
    L. Ron Hubbard

    and on and on and on.

    I thought it was all pretty good. I certainly did not think that it was a masterpiece, but I thought, given the resources and the fact that so many of the actors had never been trained and that Ron probably did teach all the film crew everything, I was quite impressed.

    However, what particularly shined in SFR was the music. Particularly the final scene where the elderly woman (confined to a wheel chair) has her lists corrected by the auditor (I can’t remember the auditor’s name right at the moment, but he and his wife and daughter are friends to many here.). In that very dramatic scene where the right item is indicated and she slowly gets out of her chair to walk, there is a solo violin piece to heighten the drama. As a kid I was in the school orchestra and was a big fan of classical music. I was not a prodigy at all, but I knew enough to know masterful composition and perfect violin playing when I heard it. That piece of music is a masterpiece. And It worked PERFECTLY in the film.

    Watching that scene for the first time, and then seeing the rolling credits with Ron’s claim to the music, I remember thinking “Further proof that this man is a GENIUS!” I was proud.

    Years and years later, at the FOLO West, when prepping for a mission, for some now-forgotten reason I found myself reading with fascination the “R Advices” for the film as it was in progress being produced after all the filming. (“R Advices” were typewritten blips that Ron would say and messengers would dictate that rarely made it to full issue status but were still regarded as holy scripture by SO members – also an actual Hidden Data Line – but that’s another story.)

    And in reading those advices I got a “Holy Cow!!!” moment. One advice was about the credits. The advice said this: “Change crediting LaMont Johnson as the composer and attribute the music to L. Ron Hubbard.”

    (LaMont Johnson was a highly regarded Scientologist mission holder, film and jazz composer and musician, non-SO and LA-based throughout the 70’s. A WONDERFUL person who was as dedicated a Scientologist as anyone I ever met.)

    It was a break in affinity, reality and communication, to say the least. One more (big) datum into the growing bullpen of information labeled “Can I really trust Ron to always tell the truth?”

    Reply
    • marildi says

      November 1, 2016 at 2:04 pm

      Dan, interesting data. I think you would agree, though, that most of the films were pretty awful. I remember openly saying (being pretty new at the time) that the films were downright embarrassing. This was in the early ’80s, when you could get away with such a thing.

      Reply
    • Espiando says

      November 1, 2016 at 2:44 pm

      I think I understand the thing about the credits. It wasn’t necessarily egomania. It was Hubbard who said that if it didn’t come from him and only from him, it wasn’t Scientology. This was communicated throughout the organization and enforced with an iron fist. If someone else’s name was on the credits, especially the writing credits, then there would be doubt among the hoi polloi that the films were “really” Scientology. He wanted those films as a record, a cinema equivalent to an HCOPL or HCOB, so it HAD to be his name and his name only on the important credits.

      Stealing the music credit, though…I guess it only makes sense when you consider Annie Broeker’s remarks at the LRH Death Disco about Arp Cola.

      Reply
    • Dan Locke says

      November 1, 2016 at 3:06 pm

      I realized that I am talking about another film, “The Case He Couldn’t Crack”. Richard Nunalee starred as the auditor. At the moment I am not remembering much of Secret of Flag Results. I guess I should have waited for the beers. Yes, the films were a long way from pro, and the depiction of psychs were caricatured (as always from Ron, bumbling evil goofs), but I thought still pretty good for amateur work in it’s day. It WAS embarrassing to pretend it was perfect as we were all supposed to do, like “the emperor’s new clothes”.

      More rough for me to pretend to like was “The Power of Source”.

      Reply
      • Gus Cox says

        November 2, 2016 at 12:05 am

        I recall being a bit shocked when my Dad, a Jazz aficionado and at the time a scientologist, called the Power of Source record “a piece of shit.” I get a good laugh thinking about it now 😀

        Reply
    • Bleargh says

      November 1, 2016 at 6:24 pm

      You should put this review on imdb.com where it unfortunately has no user reviews and a 1.2 rating :/

      Reply
    • Joe Pendleton says

      November 1, 2016 at 6:30 pm

      Re: all those hats worn by Ron …. in the history of motion pictures … only two names really …. Orson Welles and L. Ron Hubbard …. (LRH was better of course)

      Reply
      • marildi says

        November 1, 2016 at 6:41 pm

        Good point.

        Reply
  15. freebeeing says

    November 1, 2016 at 12:43 pm

    Ugh, I remember being posted in the org to show this film. Had to sit through it way too many times. The most striking thing I remember about it at the time was my wondering why Dave Mayo had such horrible teeth and how this didn’t reflect very well on scn.

    Reply
  16. Gtsix says

    November 1, 2016 at 12:38 pm

    Come on SuMP…. we’re waiting for the Tiny Dictator hour!

    Maybe Monique Blinkaling can host the Gold Muffin Bake off?

    Maybe a half hour overboarding contest, see who really floats.

    Waiting for research, waiting for tv shows. Whole lot of waiting.

    Reply
  17. JennyAtLAX says

    November 1, 2016 at 12:17 pm

    The date of this issue of Source, Feb./Mar. 1978, coincides with both the birthday of L. Ron Hubbard (March 13) and the very first grand opening of the American St. Hill Organization (“ASHO”) at PAC Base (or “Big Blue”), scientology’s west coast headquarters, on Berendo St. (later to become “L. Ron Hubbard Way”), in Los Angeles. At that time, I wore the hat of Sea Org (“SO”) member, and worked on the entirety of ASHO’s renovations. I also attended that grand opening.

    As SO members, we went to every event. I recall standing in line at the Hollywood Palladium one evening to see something, but I couldn’t say for sure whether that event included the release of this “milestone.” I do recall, however, attending the opening of the motion picture Battlefield Earth (“BE”) some years later. I had left the SO by that time and, as a public scientologist, I attended the movie opening at the urging of SO members (I think we were urged to do so so as to make it a box-office success). So there I sat, in a dark movie theatre in Glendale, California, watching BE, completely embarrassed to be a scientologist (so ashamed, I held a hand over my eyes, daring myself to accept the crap that the novel, Battlefield Earth had become on the big screen).

    Fred G. Haseney (“JennyAtLAX”)
    Scientologist from 1977 to 2016.

    Reply
    • JennyAtLAX says

      November 1, 2016 at 12:19 pm

      My entry should read: “Scientologist from 1977 to 2014.”

      Reply
    • Foolproof says

      November 2, 2016 at 3:14 am

      Yes, one of the worst directed films I have ever seen. The book I thought was great but the film was awful – too much background noise for a start and the plot was not made clear to those who hadn’t read the book. What’s even worse though are the songs made later by LRH – the ARC and Children’s Songs etc. Now they really take the biscuit for awfulness!

      On a slightly different tack. “Can we ever be friends” I thought was also complete bullshit. My Senior C/S used to C/S as part of some PC’s programs that he or she should use the cassette (by playing it to the “SP”) but I would tell Senior C/S “nope, not getting the PC to do this!” He wasn’t that bothered.

      Reply
      • Mike Rinder says

        November 2, 2016 at 9:44 am

        Wow — do you admit to being counter-intentioned to LRH’s solution to PTS A conditions? Amazing. First time I think I can recall you taking such a position. Or did you think it was someone else’s invention and alter-is so it was safe to say this?

        Reply
  18. ForLease says

    November 1, 2016 at 12:11 pm

    18 weeks to shoot a 45 minute film.

    (I want to dissect this further but I can’t stop laughing.)

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      November 1, 2016 at 1:32 pm

      Hey, they were filming a Scientology film! I’m surprised it didn’t take 6 months!

      Reply
      • ForLease says

        November 1, 2016 at 3:51 pm

        @oldsurferdude I’m sure the fundraising to complete it is barely done.

        Reply
      • Gus Cox says

        November 2, 2016 at 12:08 am

        Good thing COBWSCOHB wasn’t directing – it still wouldn’t be done.

        Reply
  19. Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn) says

    November 1, 2016 at 11:31 am

    It’s even on IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0310129/reference

    Reply
  20. Gimpy says

    November 1, 2016 at 11:28 am

    The copy writing for this article is appalling, amateur doesn’t begin to describe it, The irrelevant asides about seagulls and lost snakes do make for refreshing reading though and a sense of humor which we never see these days on anything connected to scn.

    Reply
  21. WhatWall says

    November 1, 2016 at 11:05 am

    Miscavige’s new order to all Scientology organizations which print ANYTHING: “Henceforth ALL promotional materials must be produced on paper that disintegrates after one year, except staff contracts, NDAs, invoices and donation pledges.”

    Reply
    • Chee Chalker says

      November 1, 2016 at 4:18 pm

      Hi WhatWall,

      Don’t forget:

      Pre-signed resignation letters
      Anything from the PC folder that can be used for blackmail purposes
      Glowing reviews/letters of thanks to COB

      Those should be written on titanium plates, saved in underground vaults.

      Reply
      • WhatWall says

        November 1, 2016 at 11:46 pm

        Also, Scientology web sites must be somehow protected from archiving. Miscavige: “Scientology is the fastest changing religion in the world today.”

        Reply
      • thegman77 says

        November 2, 2016 at 10:01 am

        Chee, are you implying they’ve not been written on titanium plates and buried underground???? You must be one of those SPs!!!

        Reply
  22. Mike Wynski says

    November 1, 2016 at 10:57 am

    God, trying to shoot a decent film using El Con’s Cine ED’s is just about impossible. The moron knew about as much about making good movies as I know about building functioning warp drives for real star ships.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      November 1, 2016 at 1:34 pm

      OMG!!! Ron must have been a genius then!

      Reply
      • Mike Wynski says

        November 1, 2016 at 4:15 pm

        LOL! I gotta stop off at Pretux 3 on the way home from work today. It’s only a few light years out of my way.

        Reply
        • Old Surfer Dude says

          November 1, 2016 at 9:32 pm

          You could start your own religion! I’ll be your disciple….

          Reply
          • I Yawnalot says

            November 1, 2016 at 10:21 pm

            Practice makes perfect – give it all another go, eternity waits for no one!

            Reply
            • Mike Wynski says

              November 2, 2016 at 10:13 am

              This time it will be free. Other than chipping in for drinks.

              Reply
          • Mike Wynski says

            November 2, 2016 at 10:12 am

            Ok OSD. When I get my new home next year with the boat dock in the backyard that has access to the nearby islands I’ll start outlining the “scripture”. It will involve lots of white sand, sacred ice coolers and the like.;)

            Reply
          • T.J. says

            November 2, 2016 at 4:42 pm

            Ok, I’ll join! 🙂 If, as I said in a previous post on this blog, you have uniforms with shiny gold buttons, a bronze bust by the door to salute when you come in and leave, and a better song than “We stand tall” (which actually is a pretty cool song), but if you can compose a better one, I’m in!

            Oh, I’ll also need a name tag with an official sounding title, preferably including a lot of letters like AFGS/DIR/WS and maybe something like: Elite Level 6, Supervisor, Western Area. Yay.

            Reply
    • Gus Cox says

      November 2, 2016 at 12:10 am

      Truly, when one also considers the awful quality of the Fatman’s Advance Mag cover photos. Even though Source had the finest cameras and lenses his ill-gotten gains could buy, the photographs were terrible!

      Reply
  23. Mat Pesch says

    November 1, 2016 at 10:51 am

    Its amazing how much time and money (hundreds of millions) Scientology has spent in the last 4 decades to make and remake a couple dozen 30 minute scripts. The quality of what was produced is so low, in every aspect, as to have no rivals. Add to that the fact that most of the “actors” have left Scientology, many of whom have been declared “suppressive” and you have a dogs breakfast that only a mindless cult member could proudly applaud.

    Reply
    • Hennessy says

      November 1, 2016 at 6:03 pm

      Signs of ‘Out-Ethics’: Waste and extravagance.

      Reply
    • Cindy says

      November 1, 2016 at 7:51 pm

      I knew one of the actors on this cheesy film. Richard Reich. Is he still in? Anyone have info on Richard Reich? His daughter is Rachel Reich. Any word on her too?

      Reply
  24. xenu's son says

    November 1, 2016 at 10:33 am

    Saw the movie in its time.It was so bad I still remember the scenes.
    That it was amateurish was not the problem for me.
    It shows the brutal nastiness of the Sea Org.I was shocked.

    Assumes the public are dupes and Sea Orgers get production by out nastying each other.
    Miscavage the little anklebiter is a gangster type.
    But the nastiness and psychosis and contempt for the public started long before him as this movie shows.
    Of course the people on the Apollo knew this,But it was the first time this attitude was shown in class 4 orgs.I decided then and there that I would never join the Sea Org and developed a lot of suspicion to Flag.
    Then one day I came to Flag and they handed me promo about them that said welcome to the “friendliest place in the world.”

    Reply
    • Gimpy says

      November 1, 2016 at 4:37 pm

      I agree the sea org generally are quite a nasty bunch, I dreaded them appearing at the org. I was talked into many things while involved in scn, but no one ever convinced me to join this merry band despite several very intense sessions of persuasion.

      Reply
  25. Chris says

    November 1, 2016 at 10:33 am

    53 people rated it on IMDB – it’s got a whopping 1.2 stars! That’s some milestone.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      November 1, 2016 at 1:36 pm

      Seriously…..that many stars???

      Reply
  26. Joe Pendleton says

    November 1, 2016 at 10:13 am

    And the scene where David Mayo sort of suddenly looks out into the sunset … (even though the scene takes place indoors) … and intones dramatically as if he is Moses bringing down the tablets, “standard tech is standard tech” … and just three years later …

    Don’t remember having any critical thoughts about it when it was presented at my org. Didn’t really concern me. Back in the 70s, I never paid much attention to what was going on in the Scientology world, other than what was on the new HCO Bs. I was just interested in being a better auditor and handling cases. I didn’t get into Scientology for movies or LRH’s science fiction or any other stuff.

    *of course it really DID concern me, as the opening of the Flag Land Base and the promotion of THEIR tech being better than OUR tech (despite what Mayo says in the movie) started sucking money and well heeled public from Cl IV Orgs. Thank you Ron, for violating your OWN policy and breaking affluences by changing successful actions (and of course after LRH broke the affluence condition in orgs, he wrote a new PL on how breaking an affluence is a very terrible thing to do when you violate the formula … go figure!)

    Reply
  27. roger gonnet says

    November 1, 2016 at 10:07 am

    No surprise poor rovolta was crowned in this fil, the fiction itsefl being labelled then the worse sci-fi of the year! RIP for the battlefiled thing, deads day is tomorrow 2nd of november, not forgetting than any saints have never existed on Nov firsts days in scientology.
    PS for Mike: give me your pwn and direct mail adress

    Reply
  28. I Yawnalot says

    November 1, 2016 at 9:59 am

    The Scientology Organisation couldn’t even lie straight in bed? It’s embarrassing to realize I once entertained the idea their promo was about reality. It’s not, it’s child like, dismally boring and as it panned out, pure bs. “Scotty beam me up”, is more of a current a term than the time bubble Flag swims in.
    From the masters of aberration comes the quickest route to it!

    Reply

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