Here is the latest magazine from the Melbourne “ideal” org, supposedly the best Class V org in Australia (by a country mile as they say there).
Yet this magazine is what is known in the propaganda world as a Nothingburger.
I comment on various sections below…
The pretty cover (nothing to do with anything inside) makes a promise that inside you will find out all about the “Training Boom” and the “Latest Completions & Success Stories.”
An important message from the unnamed Executive Directors (why no names?)
Of course, as always, “there has never been a more important time for our technology…”
Some filler pages, and next a pitch for training….
And then the answer to the question everyone was dying to know “How to Sign up for Training”….
Now, presumably we get to some meat and potatoes of the training boom and completions and successes.
Oh, not exactly. In fact, they don’t even have anything to do with scientology. It’s the non-religious moral code news
OK, finally — success stories!
But really guys, these are pretty lame.
Quickly back to more pitches. Now to buy books.
Now we get to the local activities — not scientology though. It’s WISE stuff. Secular “tech” implementation that leads the way.
The OT Committee and WTH chapter, United for Human Rights and CCHR are all wanting help. Nothing to report on anything accomplished, just “come and help us, we need it.”
A picture to round out the edition.
Like I said, a total nothingburger.
And this is the best they’ve got.
Scooter says
G’day Jen and Xenos. I worked at NarCONon and was a Board member of Yarralinda and both were always borderline insolvent. NarCONon was surviving barely until Anonymous shone the spotlight on them (“we” had a protest on public land just outside their fence and handed out pamphlets with the true stats to the inmates) and kept the blowtorch to the belly. Heavy intervention from CLO ANZO and increasing bad PR did the rest. They were paying virtually no rent there – the deal was to keep the property in shape as Betty II had stayed there on her honeymoon so it was Heritage listed.
Yarralinda was barely surviving then they took out a second mortgage to help fund the Idle Morgue and then Bryan Seymour exposed that to the world and it’s been circling the plughole since, kept alive by kulties spending endless hours working for nothing or next to it.
Some day I’ll write the full story – it’s quite a tale
Xenos says
Thanks for your reply. Doesnt suprise me too much that it didn’t survive considering that they spent a lot on advertising (i remember hearing ads in prime time on a major station, was it 104.3, tripple m ???), also not a huge suprise when you consider that the Australian health system provides free drug detox centres therefore the choice for many who are already short of a dollar, is try Narconon for 30k ?? Or go elsewhere for free. Its probably more successful in nations that the government dont fund free detox centres (like the states). Nevertheless they had decent longevity – i could have sworn i saw a Narconon story a few years ago 5?? on today tonight, dont quote me on that as it may have been a story on the purif rundown.
I wonder how Anonymous got stats on the success rate, probably just guesswork on their behalf.
As a ex worker at Narconon what was your thought on the program? Was it worthwhile? Any validity in the theories behind it ?
Scooter says
The success rate statistics have been a sham from the first time they were published. ESMB has that story from Patty P. who was a veteran NN staffer long before it got to Oz.
The stat was basically counted by a NN staffer phoning graduates on a regular basis once they completed. Daily then every few days then weekly and so on. If the person said they were clean, they were counted. If they said they had relapsed, they were mercilessly badgered and harassed (as were their family and friends) until they went back to NN for a “retread” or sometimes redoing the whole program.
I checked over the stats for NN Sydney after it closed its doors the first time and found it was less than 5% but had been counted as way higher. When I first went to NN Melbourne I did the stats with the major salesperson there (a recent graduate of the program) and we came up with 46% – that was using the above-mentioned method and obviously inflated as most with substance abuse problems won’t admit to reversion if they are simply asked over the phone – for obvious reasons.
One girl sadly O/Dd the night before returning for her at least 4th attempt at the program.
The quoted success rates by NarCONons over the years have never been backed up by an independent verification – in fact, the head of NN Melbourne once told a whole bunch of us that she was getting the Salvos to do an independent study on their success rate. After I left the Kult, I checked this out by tracking through the Salvos hierarchy and found it complete b.s. – in fact the peeps I spoke to at the Salvos were scathing about NN and $cientology and adamant that they’d never lower themselves to do such a thing.
Yes I need to write my whole story some day.
The program is just bits of $cientology literally. It helps a few and harms most. End of story
Xenos says
Interesting story, 46% is way less than the advertised success rate. Thanks for sharing
PeaceMaker says
I wonder if the newsletter is largely the work of higher echelons, with some local material. It appears to me that about half of it is stock material that could be used for any English-speaking org in the world. In particular the second to last paragraph on the page about training has had the org’s phone and email above it, but retains the placeholder “(where available)” which should have been changed.
Corporations and PR firms do that sort of thing, too.
RightReade says
Let’s see. To recap the high points, $cientology will rid the world of evil and provide a roadmap to happiness. It doesn’t cost much, so anyone can afford it, plus the process up the ladder is simple yet profound.
To which I say a hearty, bull-hockey!
Andy S says
When I saw that last picture, my immediate thought was Colditz!
Kimo says
Except without the friendly, supportive atmosphere that Colditz offered its occupants.
Andy S says
Yeah they offered de-lousing and everything, including materials to make a glider from.
Xenos says
People may not think highly of the newsletter but after working there as a sub contractor i can say it appears to be doing well. Car park was pretty much full on both occasions i went there and is predominantly full every time i drive past (as i drive over 500ks through Melbourne weekly i end up driving past regularly).
Interestingly although they are pleasant enough they are not pushy there and my experience with them was very different from what others have said. I asked the Scientologist assisting me several questions and he didnt seem eager to try push any agenda, even when i picked up some free literature their was no questioning / attempt to sell scientology to me, nothing at all. WHATS WRONG WITH ME – NOT EVEN A CULT WANTS TO RECRUIT ME ???!!!
Their was a couple of unusual situations those being when on two instances people stood near me observing my work but not engaging, just merely standing there nice and close in silence.
Maybe its a Australian thing but the Melbourne org doesnt seem too pushy like others report of their local and seems to be doing ok – how ok we will know in a few months time when the national census figures are released.
On a final note, great choice of picture of the old Port Melbourne Princess Pier, a place ive literally jogged and walked past hundreds of times, if beautiful Port Melbourne the greatest suburb and football team in the world cant get interest, nothing will.
Jen says
The carpark like most on Scientology-owned property is provided to local workers without charge for two reasons
1. make the org look a lot busier than it actually is
2. generate benign goodwill amongst its neighbours and those that work locally
As other have mentioned, Scientology in Melbourne is considerably more congenial and less intense compared to others. Maybe it’s the laid back Aussie personality, geographic distance from others or it’s pride in being host to LRH’s lecture legacy and the resistance-like mentality during the era when it was outright banned.
Scooter says
Wait what?
No mention of Melbourne NarCONon?
Nor the $cientology school at Mooroolbark?
Just can’t understand why the Kult aren’t bragging about those stellar institutions.
(Maybe because they sort of –
died?)
Xenos says
What happened to them ? Ran out of money ???$$$$ I remember several years ago they used to advertise on radio all the time – a totally natural drug rehab centre was the selling point, had no clue they were associated with Scientology
Jen says
Narconon Melbourne was known as Get off Drugs Naturally. They actually rented a state owned property up in East Warburton but after repeated media flaps, a lawsuit from the K9 drug dog company they hired and council refusal to relocate to Green Gables a former wedding reception venue in Warbuton township they had nowhere to go so closed up permanently.
Yarralinda School Mooroolbark sold off their land and are currently leasing the site and paying market rent. Their schoolbus runs a trip from & to Ascot Vale each morning. They’re supposed to relocate closer to the org but don’t have the funds to purchase another comparable block of land
https://www.realcommercial.com.au/sold/property-4-birchwood-drive-mooroolbark-vic-3138-503283130
Xenos says
IThey will struggke, property around there is prime real estate. They are looking for a school site to rellicare to, ironically the new org is exactly that, former Essendon school. Strangely that Yarralinda school is listed as a Christian school.on the website.
GL says
I live near Launceston in Tasmania and the sound of chirping crickets reverberating throughout the Melbourne Morgue is deafening.
Xenos says
They are doing OK. No empty car spots like other organisations.
PeaceMaker says
Xenos, are you sure the full lot isn’t from whatever is going on in the other buildings surrounding the parking lot, which appear separate from Scientology’s 3 story org building in the picture?
The sparse completions pictures would seem to be evidence of an org with almost no activity, On another article about the org, someone had a different take about the full lot:
“AF1 says
December 13, 2018 at 2:46 am
That Melbourne video is hilarious – every shot of the org with a constant stream of people walking around in the background. Weird how I go past there every day and despite the full carpark I can go weeks without seeing a soul. It’s empty enough to make you wonder if they lease carparks to the tram drivers based across the street.”
Xenos says
Well it is possible that they lease the car park to their neighbours however ild be more inclined to think this was the case if i saw cars in there during lockdown. Car park was empty during that time (although other businesses round there were working) which suggests that nobody else is using the site for their vehicles. That bit about going weeks without anybody being seen is a exageration. I see people outside most times i drive past- although its not like walking down Burke St during midday their does appear to be more activity than many of the current pictures of orgs around the globe.
Jere Lull says
Poor OTs, not able to brag about getting the BEST parking spaces, since none are ever open if they should throw caution to the winds and deign to risk being regged.
otherles says
“What’s Happening in Melbourne ‘Ideal’ Org?”
In a word, nothing.
(Now I have to clear that word.)
Loosing my Religion says
In reality they have nothing to say or show, as surely the other orgs in the world, so they try to focus on aesthetics. Hubbard said it is one of the highest waves. Just useless PR.
Scn always remains an empty rusty jar.
Mark Kamran says
That’s Utopia, fools paradise, Cults final product to followers.
You may notice the followers are mentally trapped in the Cult….flawlessly ….Stockholm Syndrome.
Loosing my Religion says
Mark. Right. So many got abused in many ways but they say it was their own fault and the guys wanted only clear the planet. Scn indoctrination is by itself an real ‘implant’.
Mark Kamran says
That’s Stockholm Syndrome:
“…. term was first used …in 1973 when four hostages were taken during a bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden.
The hostages defended their captors after being released and would not agree to testify in court against them”.
This is the binding between the abuser and the victim.
The glue is ” gulit consciousness, ” which is the basis of control in all Cults.
Your comment validate this phenomenon.
Loosing my Religion says
Thank you Mark. I fully agree with what you say. Also in other cults one can see the victims defending the abusers. The sense of guilt used against them as a control tool.
Mark says
But, but, but…Mikey!!!
The NOTHINGBURGER is actually a Thetanic Pneumatic Dramatic Static, A Tone 80 Postulate Already Materialized In An Imminent Scientological Universe, A Marvelous Mockup That Is Only Visible To Sufficiently Processed Satans, A Macallan Pimp’s Festival Of Bitch Slaps And Blow Jobs, and A Sea Borg Victory Parade At The Arseblighty
Palace of Potemkin Power!
You Smokers and Degraders belittle the Mighty Tidy Dreck, but you just wait, ANY DAY NOW, ALL SHALL SHIFT IN A SUDDEN, DRAMATIC TSUNAMI OF OT(OATMEAL TWERKER)
EJACULATION!
And then you’ll be sorry…
😎
Jere Lull says
Thanks for the snicker, Mark.
Mark says
Hey JL😎🤓
Zee Moo says
I’d give the Clampire a B+ on the glossy pictures and an F- on content.
Jere Lull says
There was CONTENT!!??? I must have blinked or something.
Nothingburger, not even a bun to gnaw on.
Dotey OT says
The local org, after over 25 million USD in donations sits empty. Regardless of the magazines, or any other promotion.
This baffles the supervisor that I was talking to this morning. He said that the reason so many locals have moved to flag is because “the world is so wacky everyone sees the importance of doing the ONLY thing that will change it!”
He really believed what he said.