A little light hearted entertainment in the deadly serious business of making money in scientology.
You may recall some of the earlier entrants in the Scientology Crazy Stakes — we have seen some wonderful pieces from David Wilson (who specialized in historical fact vs. fiction parallels) and Mike Smith (who specialized in getting his dates and facts so screwed up nobody had a clue what he was talking about). These two have gone strangely silent, opening the door for some new contenders to step into cage. Today we have a challenger we have not heard from before and something from one of our tried and true favorites.
Where do they find these crazy people? And what does it say about the state of the organization when crazy people are the top FSMs?
What is especially sad is that these people appear to be deadly serious… Nothing tongue in cheek in the world of fundamentalist scientologists.
First, the newcomer and challenger for the title of Craziest FSM on Earth — Randall Michael Tobin, or RMT as he is known in the business:
From: Randall Michael Tobin
Sent: Mar 21, 2014 11:14 PM
Subject: MUST READ: Bedtime Story IX
Dear Theta Buddies,
You know what I like best about being a Scientologist?
I get to do things today that will help create the world we will come back to tomorrow.
Let’s say, in a future life, you’re talking to your family.
The story might go something like this…
Son: “Tell us another story dad!”
Daughter: “Yeah… The last one about GAT 2 was the BEST EVER!”
You: “Yeah. That was quite the liftoff for an amazing rocket ride!”
Daughter: “All those cool rundowns, new courses and the only meter we’ve ever seen…”
Son: “Yeah! I can’t wait until I’m old enough to fly one… I mean, use one. So what happened after that?”
You: “Well, according to grandpa… all of a sudden, it seemed like everyone was starting the new GAT 2 courses, which meant the Student Hat course for most.”
Son: “You mean everyone had to wear hats to course?”
You: “That’s one definition of ‘hat’. You did ‘Learning How to Learn’ and you learned how to study, right? The Student Hat is like that, except for when you’re older. The ‘hat’ is the skill set and expertise you need to study anything. When you finish the course, you ‘wear’ the hat any time you study a subject or want to learn more about something. You could actually have a cap with ‘Student’ on the front and put it on every time you study; say… that’s an idea…”
Son & Daughter: “Never Mind!”
You: “I’m just kidding… But what I’m NOT kidding about, is that once everyone was on the new courses and the course rooms were packed, the orgs had the highest ever student points in history, week after week! It took the Birthday Game to a whole different universe! (You remember what the Birthday Game is, right?)”
Daughter: “Yeah! That’s when the orgs on their horses all race around the track…”
Son: “…and we all get to eat LOTS OF CAKE!”
You: “Yeah… That’s right! So, what made that LRH Birthday event the biggest and best ever, was it was the first one following the release of GAT 2. Talk about a bunch of birthday presents for Ron…”
You: “If you could give Ron anything in the world for his birthday, what would it be?”
Son: “I’d join the Sea Org!”
You: “That’s mighty courageous of you! I bet you’d make a fine officer… And what about you?”
Daughter: “I want to be the best auditor I can be and help as many people as I can.”
You: “You guys make me so proud… I’m sure Ron would be very happy to have those gifts…”
Son & Daughter: “I love you, Dad…”
You: “Hugs all around and it’s time for bed…
Son & Daughter: “Good night, Dad…”
You: (whispered) “May your dreams have no limits…”
So… Were YOU there at 4:30 p.m on Saturday, March 22nd, 2014, at the Shrine Auditorium?
I thought so…
He scores a couple of crazy points for his “theta buddies” introduction and the use of a new device — the future bedtime story that allows the creation of anything he wishes were the case. A pretend future talking about pretend today to encourage people to fork over their cash to re-do the Student Hat.
But then we have the undisputed heavyweight crazy champeen of the world, Pat Parody.
He comes to us with some new moves designed to impress:
Date: Sun, 23 Mar 2014
From: pat parodi <[email protected]>
Subject: Sunday Note and Quote
Its Sunday Note and Quote time!
Last night Los Angeles Scientologists gathered at the Shrine to see the LRH Birthday Event, which was held at Flag the previous week. The entire event was fantastic, the stories we heard of LRH’s life and experiences, prior to Dianetics and Scientology, his impact, even then, on the culture of the time and of course, the Birthday Game winners along with GAT II successes and wins made this a very memorable event and evening!
For me personally, it was another full week of Survival Rundown auditing and being audited. Although I am putting in 25 hours a week on study, it doesn’t seem like it. When one is auditing and has one’s TR’s in, time is irrelevant. And, when you are running the process and are in that amazing “mix” which the Objectives case seems to throw at you, time again seems to go away and you are just in that moment, doing that next command! I am experiencing case gain I never imagined I could have – from Objectives! After all, I am a New OT VIII, right-LOL! Well lets just say this; it is my opinion that the “Objectives case” is only handled with Objectives and mine has been waiting to go in session almost 40 years. Enough said!
The following quote from Ron had a very personal message to me. It seems to be about changing conditions in ourselves so that we can then help to change conditions in others and so work towards actually clearing this planet. True, as I confront the physical universe in the Objective processes I am running, I am seeing how I have personally pulled away from MEST and others. When we can stop battling the MEST universe and the universes of other beings, who are in fact, just trying to get along as best they can, then we can really move towards clearing Earth. Enjoy the wisdom our founder has given us.
The Golden Age of Knowledge Phase II is ready to raise your awareness, upgrade your ability to study and learn any subject, give you the poise and confidence to confront, control and read a meter and become a fully competent auditor. And, if you arrive to Flag, you can do your L’s, Cause Resurgence or Super Power and rise to heights were no one will ever be able to strike you down or cripple you again as a being. Please, take advantage of the decades of hard work, the millions and millions of Sea Org man-hours and Mr. Miscavage’s unrelenting Tone 40 intention to provide us with 100% Standard Tech. And let me know how I can assist you to make it happen. Have a great week!
Yes, the champ has come up with a brand new concept — “the Objectives Case” that has been “waiting to go in session for 40 years.” This guy has gone all the way to OT VIII and has to somehow explain how he is now back at the bottom of the Bridge and having “wins” redoing his Objectives and somehow this was all missed in his 40 years of progressing up the Bridge. Brilliant idea — something that has nothing to do with him, just some sort of “over-there case” that has been completely unknown for 40 years. Now that he has completed NOTs and his body is transparent and has had the Truth Revealed to him, he is just now confronting the physical universe. That is crazy man! And even better, because he is talking about “his case” nobody is going to “invalidate” him. It’s a great line to get agreement.
And just for some icing on the cake, he gets in some nice brown-nosing on Mr. Miscavage — but even after all this time he still cannot spell his name right…
People really give these people their money — like they are opinion leaders for fundamentalist scientologists?
THAT IS crazy.