This article was sent in by Special Correspondent Andy Porter. Andy is one of the most accomplished Div 6 people in the history of Scientology. He is also a world-class photographer — one of his shots is above. You can see some of his portfolio here — truly spectacular.
But more relevant to the blog is the interesting perspective he offers on the state of scientology.
The Golden Age of Dissemination
The Chairman of the Board of the Religious Technology Center, Mr. David Miscavige, has created one of the most workable Dissemination Processes in the history of Scientology.
No, there has NOT been an international event where, with great pomp and hyperbole, the Golden Age of Dissemination was introduced.
There is NOT a new series of courses or auditing levels suddenly “discovered” in the archives of LRH materials.
Believe it or not, this fantastic new Dissemination Process was created, piloted and rolled out though the hard work and dedication of none other than David Miscavige himself!
This is no small feat. Today the popularity of the Church of Scientology rates just below genital herpes. (I mean no offense to genital herpes here, I understand that a virus is just doing its thing.)
In decades past, bad press about the Church would sometimes attract new people to find out for themselves what Scientology was all about.
This is not the case today! The numbers of new people starting their first service in Scientology has been on a statistical death slide for many years.
Even in better times many Scientologists were reluctant to talk very much about Scientology with their friends who were not already in the Church. More often than not once you told someone you were a Scientologist things became…awkward.
And today the situation has hit an all-time low. The PR of the Church of Scientology is so horrible, so black, so negative that it’s hard to imagine many Scientologists at all fessing up to the general public that they are part of the Church of Scientology.
This makes the Golden Age of Dissemination all the more remarkable.
As you read this you are probably thinking that I am joking, (or joking AND degrading) but I honestly assure you that I am not.
I know that you are dying to know what could you POSSIBLY say to a new person as an introduction to the subject of Scientology that would not cause them to immediately turn and run away from you? What could you say to this person that would cause them to reach and ask you to explain Scientology and how it works to them?
Here is the process:
- Simply start a conversation with a person, establish some common interests you have, create some affinity, reality and communication with the person.
- Whenever the opportunity presents itself tell the person: “I spent many years in the Church of Scientology, but recently I was expelled and excommunicated from the Church, they have labeled me a Suppressive Person.”
- As soon as you say this, shut up! Don’t keep talking, just be quiet. You can look away, or maybe even change the subject, talk about the weather or Red Sox, something banal.
- Inevitably the new person will now question you about Scientology. Statements like “Tell me, what the fuck is Scientology all about???” “I always wanted to find out what that was all about”, “What IS Scientology anyway?” etc. are the norm.
And here is the beauty of the process! You don’t need to buy anything, no need to retread for the 14th time some auditing process you completed in 1991. No courses, no books (or CD’s!) to buy!
All you need to do is get yourself declared as a suppressive person and expelled from the church. And that’s about as hard as falling off a log, simply stop donating, ask to see the Org’s stats, speak your mind honestly , express your doubts regarding fund raising and the Ideal Org Program and Viola!, you will soon be declared and expelled!
Hey, who would have thought that David Miscavige, of ALL people, would be the one to create the Perfect Dissemination Program: The Golden Rod Age of Dissemination!
Hallie Jane says
Nice post Andy. I agree completely. I’ve had several interesting and genuine conversations about this. One young woman peppered me with questions and we talked for hours because she had heard so many strange things and felt comfortable to ask. Being genuine and really communicating has always been intrinsic to real Scn IMO.
MJ says
You’re so right Hallie Jane.
breppen says
Nice work Andy!
Espiritu says
Mike, thanks for publishing Andy Porter’s article. This is so spot on. And Andy, what you say here is not “joking and degrading”. It is true. I found myself chucking continually as I read because I have been experiencing this same for some time now. I am a practicing Scientologist who has found a lot of benefit in applying LRH’s Tech to myself and others. Whenever I tell someone that I am a Scientologist I always add something like the following:
“…but I have not interest in or connection to that destructive cult called the Church of Scientology. Years ago they were taken over by a psycho who has twisted out of recognition something which was originally designed to help people and enhance their lives. I’m only interested in the original subject and only to help others improve their lives.”
And just as you say, once that is out of the way people are interested in what the subject is really about. And then I just give them some data or some action that they can do which might be helpful to them. Simple. My whole neighborhood used to hate the subject of Scientology and were very distrustful of me due to a perceived connection with me and Miscavige’s monster. Now I have friendly neighbors who respect my beliefs and in some cases even apply these ideas themselves.
Andy, you have discovered and described how to honestly apply the dissemination formula in today’s world. Don’t let DM take any of the credit.
And what amazing photographs on your site!
Andy Porter says
Hey Espiritu, Thanks! I am happy to hear you are having wins similar to mine!!!!!
Aquamarine says
Espiritu, thank you for this great share about the way you disseminate Scientology to raw public.
Baby says
I really enjoyed your post Andy..
I had a friend at work that brought up Scientology at work today. She has no idea that I am so antiscientology.
She said, ” Scientology..That’s the Church that Tom Cruise goes to.
I said, ” Yep..” and she says.. ” Come closer cause I have a secret about him..” So of course nosy me walks over to her and she says, ” Did you know that he is really short?”
Bawwwwwwwwwwwwwhahhahaha I about died laughing.. I said, ” I gotta bunch of secrets about him that I will tell you tomorrow. ” I’m taking in the Vanity Fair ” Wife Search ” tomorrow.
Aquamarine says
Levity Alert:
THE INT PRAYER
Our Dave, Who Art In Hemet,
Hallowed Be Thy Name.
Thy Squirreldom Come,
Thy Will Be Done,
In Orgs, As It Is In Hemet.
Give Us This Day Our Daily Slap
And Forgive Us Our Overts
As We Harass Those
With Overts Against You.
And Lead Us Not Into Scientology
But Deliver Us From Hubbard,
For THINE Is The DAVEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The POWER!!!!!! And The GLORY!!!!!!!
FOREVER AND EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MJ says
Amen and hallelujah!
GTBO says
Testify brother, Testify
Can I get an Amen?
MJ says
Yes. Here’s a brand new objective process in case you were wondering: “Give me your wallet. Thank you.” (NB – acknowledgement optional).
Aquamarine says
Amen to that postulate wit exclam tech !!!!!
Old Surfer Dude says
Wow! +1
buttons72 says
What is interesting to me… Scientology may indeed be growing because of this Golden Rod Age. INDEPENDENT Scientology, that is. The irony is hilarious. Though I don’t think LRH was any better, morally, he was at least intelligent and more creative, by far, than the Nazi currently draining the bank accounts at the helm.
Alex de Valera says
” Today the popularity of the Church of Scientology rates just below genital herpes. (I mean no offense to genital herpes here, ” By Jesus Christ Mike, you are out doing your self every single day. I had not heard anything so funny in a long time! I was thinking the other day of the smearing campaigns of OSA. They can’t get any results saying you are a psychopath, or a homosexual or whatever because “being a scientologist” gives you a worse reputation! Unless you’ve been declared of course, which has happened to a lot of very good people. Being declared is becoming like getting the Victoria Cross, it means you are really an outstanding individual specially if you dare to speak against what Sweeny called “the Church of Fear”.
Mike Eldredge says
Mmmmmm mystery sandwich with beans and rice
MJ says
Don’t forget to add the salt on your wounds for dessert.
WhiteStar says
scientology puts the lie to the saying “any publicity is good publicity”.
You say you got an ideal program,
Well you know, we’d all love to see the plan.
The IAS says it wants a contribution,
Well you know, we’re all doing what we can.
But if you want money for minds that hate,
All i can tell you is brother, you have to wait.
You tell me you want to clear the Planet,
Well you know, we all read Reitman, Janet.
You tell me it’s a fight to the end,
Well you know, you better free your mind instead.
Cause if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Pow,
You ain’t gonna make it with anyone anyhow.
Espiritu says
Very nice, WhiteStar. The shoe does fit.
But all of the readers here may not be Beatles fans.
These guys were surely ahead of their time in many ways.
Here are the original lyrics and soundtrack for clarification …..and, as always, aesthetic enjoyment:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gR9JMwzxybE
theosismanides says
Τhe Golden Rod Age of Dissemination!!! Hahaha, that’s awesome.
Sabine Waterkamp says
Very true. I live in an area with the highest density of scientologist on earth, Sunland-Tujunga in the north of LA. Usually when you would drive through town you would see at least 1 or 2 cars with a scientology decal on the back. That has changed. I noticed that in the past year or two, there are almost no more cars with decals in sight. They took them all off! Apparently the sheeple are very aware of the state of PR of their church and don’t really want to be openly connected with it anymore.
MJ says
Gee, I wonder why? 😉
richardgrant says
Cool data, Sabine!
The only Scientology bumper sticker I can remember was one that sprouted on a few cars in my old neighborhood in Washington, DC, where I lived a block away from the org. It just said READ BATTLEFIELD EARTH, so you wouldn’t really connect it with COS unless you knew the Hubbard story.
Idle Morge says
I am here with my twin and we are drilling, drilling, drilling. We are having a lot of fun and expect to be done here by the end of the day.
We want to make sure our TR’s stay in, in, in so we can be the most effective dissemination team on the planet to make sure that we help. So – we will do some OBJ first and a little bull-bait.
Our goal –
CLEAR the World OF Scientology forever!
LOL – great post Mike – very clever!!
Firebreathing Frog says
Very well spoted.
I witness to this.
Happen to me few months ago as you describe.
I was talking with a friend who was feeling down.
I told him I could give him some Scientology assist I learn while in the church
Before It became the money making cult it is today.
That’s all it took to start the assist.
MJ says
Wow.
knatherthomas says
Good for you! I love it.
MJ says
Okay, I couldn’t resist. Dirty Harry reenactment with Mike Rinder talking to Miscavige:
“I know what you’re thinking. Do I have some really incriminating evidence on you or not. Well, come to think of it, with all the postings and whatnot I kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a rapidly expanding blog with ever increasing contributing members, you gotta ask yourself the question ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya Dave?”
Old Surfer Dude says
You’ve out done yourself, MJ! That’s incredible!
MJ says
Thanks Old Surfer Dude. It was fun!
GTBO says
My life changed, people’s attitude (especially my neighbor’s) toward me changed as soon as I let them know I no longer had anything to do with the Cult.
HushHush says
It is the best “openner” for a Venusian artist!!
Gail Paige says
This post is really funny and spot-on. I have done this dissem drill and it does work!
Still on your side says
There is a lot of truth in your post. I have never been a member of the church, but two years ago, publicity about Miscavige’s human rights abuses hit home with me. I thought that something needed to be done about those abuses (paraphrasing Mike’s blog name). Over the prior years, I had heard very little about the church beyond discussions with a friend who was a member when I lived in Manhattan. Now, publicity about the church and Miscavige is everywhere. Human rights activists, globally, are appalled that an organization almost as bad as the Taliban goes untouched in the US. Not only that, it doesn’t have to pay taxes and when confronted legally with its abuses, it screams “Religious bigotry! First Amendment violation!” Let the Taliban try that, and the US may send a drone to provide an answer.
It is now common knowledge that Miscavige beats up his subordinates, that he exiled his wife to transcribing Hubbard’s works in a hole in the ground for the rest of her life, that the church coerces women to have abortions, that the church mandates disconnection, that Miscavige lives like a king while the members live worse than serfs, that Miscavige lies to the members, the courts, his lawyers, and the IRS, that Miscavige prohibits members from going on the Internet or reading about their church, that Narconon is a front for the church, and so on and so on. All of the above is well known by the general public. Notwithstanding, the general public has almost no knowledge about the church theology. When asked, the average person may quote “Southpark,” “Isn’t is about Zenu and Tom Cruise and John Travolta in a closet?”
Yes, Miscavige has done a great job of publicizing the church. Fortunately for the human race, and unfortunately for Miscavige, his actions are causing members to stream of the church before it is too late.
zemooo says
$cientology currently enjoys a reputation that can only be admired by Al Qaeda, the Taliban, nazis and fox news pun-dents. Ever since Katie Holmes and Leah Remini escaped, the clampire has had nothing but public pr disasters. Every goldenrod that is produced makes another escapee and another disaster as the friends of the ‘declared’ learn of the ‘voluntary’ disconnection they must complete.
The only ‘good’ press the CO$ receives is the ever present LRon Writers of the Future contest and very bad NarCONon testimonials. Everything else is like:
http://mom.me/tween/11326-can-scientologists-be-good-parents/
With the 990s now getting exposure, the financial picture is becoming clear to those still in. How are you going to reg a whale who wants to know what the 1 billion dollars Davey is sitting is doing? The exodus continues and with a drought of new meat, who is going to fill the regs quotas?
TheWidowDenk says
When I relocated to Spokane Washington after Dr Denk’s departure (later 2005), I landed in a neighborhood where there was another younger widow, Kathy. Alas, she had “hit the bottle” after the death of her husband, was rather unemployable and had trouble with her (I think it was) two girls. One day this widow asked me, “How do you do it?” I told her I was a Scientologist to which she replied, “practicing?” I said yes, I was a practicing Scientologist and the topic never came up again. I moved from that neighborhood in 2006 or so and have remained on friendly terms with Kathy, although more distant due to moving out of that neighborhood. I think she got back on track, found a job, handled her girls, and — perhaps — found a new husband or significant other. All is good but I’ll always remember her initial reaction: practicing?
SRL says
Terrific viewpoint.
Your photos are beautiful!
Andy Porter says
SRL, Thank you!
dankoon says
We just tell them we were in a cult and escaped. Brings about an immediate reach.
knatherthomas says
Brilliant!
KFrancis says
It really does Dan. I have a friend who I met in a tennis league and coincidentally happens to be a psychiatrist. She’s a great gal and has been a true friend to me considering the short time I have known her.
Anyway, we were talking on the phone one day and I told her I had left the C of S and sent a resignation letter to Flag. Wow!….She couldn’t have been more interested in talking with me about it.“I like to sit down with you some time and hear all about it!” she said in a very surprised and interested tone.
KFrancis says
I guess I really am an SP….I’ve been given the boot by the church and now I’m hanging out with a psychiatrist. Man!….. It’s been a long fall from grace.
Hallie Jane says
Cool KFrancis. I have a child psychologist friend who is very caring and professional. One time I asked, what was her number one challenge in helping kids. She said the damn parents are always wanting a pill to cure their kid, instead of doing the work or parenting or meeting their various needs. She works hard to keep the kids off drugs but also gets them into special reading programs or addresses what they are actually struggling with. It takes all kinds to make a world.
Draco says
“Today the popularity of the Church of Scientology rates just below genital herpes. (I mean no offense to genital herpes here, I understand that a virus is just doing its thing.)” Coffee on my monitor! Damn…I just cleaned it this morning! 😀
Andy Porter says
Exactly my SP intention…to destroy your computer monitor… 🙂
writerchique says
Hahahahahaha! Spot on!
Good Old Boy says
I can see little boots now after reading this.” I got it !!! Its all false data we must false data strip everyone who has looked on the internet .” Messenger says,” Sir, where is the
true data we must show them after the handling ?” little boots, “Your dead!!!”
Hallie Jane says
That’s actually a very good point Good Old Boy. The current RCS is fraught with false data about what Scn. actually is. Once you say, “the corporate church has gone to hell and a reformation is in progress”, you’ve stripped a huge false datum. I think it also makes us more real and human, we’re having a lot of the same troubles as everyone else. I read many responses to both Katie Holmes and Leah Remini leaving the church because of concerns about their children, that were flowing with support and compassion. The truth tends to strip false data which leads to compassion for our situation.
Aquamarine says
Thanks for the Dissem Drill, and the laughs, Andy. The drill is easy and honest. I’m going to do try it and share my experiences on this blog.
You and I met several times in concert with your former WISE activities on the East Coast. I’ve heard you speak. I know how dedicated you were to helping others to get in Scn admin tech in their businesses. More than anyone else, your public sharing of your observation of outpoints and disagreements with the Cult of Miscavige has validated what I observed, so thanks for being there and communicating, Andy.
MJ says
I mentioned to my sisters how I was no longer supporting the current Cof$ and we were immediately in comm.
Baby says
Oh Yay.. I am so happy for you MJ.. Have fun getting caught up with your sisters!
MJ says
Thanks Baby!
Andy Porter says
Aquamarine, Thank you! I cannot say I miss the East coast, and escaping from WISE was one of the best days of my life, but I DO miss you and all the other fine people back there!
Aquamarine says
You’re welcome, Andy. Great to be in comm with you. Got it completely on the East Coast and leaving the World Institute of Suppressive Enterprises. Enjoy your beautiful Northwest 🙂
anitawarren1 says
ROFLMAO. Mike, I wonder if you have any idea just how incredibly spot-on you are with this stuff. It surely blows charge for ME! Haaaaaa
MJ says
Any hackers out there who could change the display on the big sign at Sunset and LRH Way to read: “Something Can Be Done About It – check out mikerindersblog.org”?
threefeetback says
Bruce Ploetz and friends, Are you up for an new game?
joan says
Exactly MJ! Something can be done about it. Leave, quit, save your money, save your family and of course, save your mind.
MJ says
Quia veni, et vidi, et ego remains – I came, I saw, I left.
Zephyr says
Maybe a big banner over it (double sided) will do.
Greta
The Oracle says
Great to see this from Andy! Andy’s record for dissemination is legendary, he put Scientology in Russia and didn’t even speak the language! I had the chance to meet up with him a while back in Seattle. He was every bit the person I imagined him to be and a lot more.
Behind him we have Dave, who disseminates to people who are already in Scientology. He sells real estate and attacks on psychiatry and pushed movie stars as the most valuable.
While the guy who spread Scientology across the globe is parked off lines because he became an ethics target, by someone who probably never bought another person into Scientology in their life.
Forget the injustice. Most people are parked off lines because they just can’t stomach the stupidity.
racingintheblood39 says
Yes TO, or the Criminality & Insanity! The CO$, is unique to this galaxy, by dramatizing all THREE!
Andy Porter says
Oracle, Thank you for the kind words…I hope to meet up with you again,sooner rather than later!
Poet13c says
“probably never bought another person into Scientology in their life.” Quite true, Oracle. It’s highly unlikely that Miscavige would have brought in a single New Name to CF during his entire reign as the head of the CoS, let alone audit anyone, or even run a course. In fact. I’ve never heard of an instance of him personally helping anyone, ever. His personality comes across as utterly repulsive: a rank bully who couldn’t run a market stall. It’s his immediate associates who need the help, and they’re never going to get it for fear his position will be undermined, or his overts revealed, or anything else we might guess.
Marta says
Succinctly expressed, Andy. Thanks for the smiles this morning and the fond reminders of my short time in the close camaraderie of the PNW SPs. 🙂
MJ says
Early morning Dylan edit:
How many redos must a thetan complete
Before he’s allowed to attest?
How many things must a person rebuy
Before they have filled their war chest?
Yes, how many times must they call you SP
Before it’s forever banned?
Now all of my friends are blowin’ in the wind
The good ones are blowin’ in the wind.
Old Surfer Dude says
I wish the songs I’ve attempted to write were just half as good as yours. Your Dylan song is an instant classic.
MJ says
Thanks Old Surfer Dude – appreciate the compliment.
indie8million says
Ditto on OSD’s compliment, MJ. Too bad it won’t fit on a placard for a protest. 😀
MJ says
Well, someone could at least sing it and get others to chime in. 🙂
SILVIA says
The only problem with the Golden Rod is that they have run out of that paper color; that shows you the straight up and vertical, unprecedented, monumental results this Program is having as the expansion of people departing the Church has been,and will keep increasing week after week. Tick…Tock…
Jane says
They must have run out of Goldenrod a long longtime ago.
I’ve been waiting for my declare since 1996!
Tony DePhillips says
Good stuff Andy.
We had a real nice SP party at Andy’s house over the weekend. Andy is also a great host along with his lovely wife.
Jose Chung says
Making Scientologist’s fodder for late night talk shows
viewed as wacko’s, loons, and criminals, without firing a shot
but leaving a trail of dead bodies. Making Billions of dollars in the process
and a real estate empire that would make a Galactic War Lord Green with envy.
A Pope of such stature, Mickey Rooney towers over him.
Some where Idi Amin has tears in his eyes.
Old Surfer Dude says
Love the Idi Amin comment, Jose! Nice touch!
MJ says
Since what Dave does is Reverse or Black Dianetics, this makes lots of sense.
Old Surfer Dude says
That is exactly what the dward does! Blackheart practices Black Dianetics. It’s in his blood. I’d almost say he’s evil incarnate…
threefeetback says
+666
FOTF2012 says
Nah. Just a sociopath. Wait. That’s pretty much the same thing as evil incarnate.
MJ says
Captain Bloodlust.
happychappie44 says
This is hilarious, and true. I’m talking to my hairdresser for the first time about Scientology and I’ve been going to her since 2009; and she’s all ears!
foolmeonce says
For the past 6-8 months, have been speaking to all my College and high school friends and families; my home service people, casual aquaintences; and just about any one that will listen, about the crimes of the Church of Scientology. Almost each and everyone agreed with me and always wondered why I did it in the first place; that they always thought it was a strange cult but that I seemed really so nice and normal so there must be something redeeming about it. Now they ALL have certainty it’s a cult and will pass it on to everyone. The more Scientology attacks it’s members the madder I get and the more I attack back.
thegman77 says
It’s not often that a post is both hilarious and truthful at the same time. I think that slurping sound is Miscrabhead pouring the subject down the drain.
Detlef Ruchatz says
Funny. That is pretty much, what happened to me yesterday.
threefeetback says
Too bad Andy’s daughter hasn’t been so Lucky . . . yet.
Andy Porter says
Um…I don’t have a daughter…
threefeetback says
OK Andy. Some of us know of Lucky Story (Porter).
Mike Rinder says
Lucky’s father is Jeff Porter.
Just Me says
For those who don’t know who Lucky Story is, she and her lineage are described in more detail at http://markrathbun.wordpress.com/2012/03/29/an-idle-scientology-org-story/.
Richard Roberts says
Plus 1. In fact I am far more likely to tell people that I am a former Scientologist these days than when I was in. What generally happens is we have 10 hour discussions about what its like to be held prisoner as a Sea Org member and although the tech does really work the current management is corrupt and evil. Its amazing the ARC this establishes. Its funny but its actually rehabilitating me on the subject. I have even engaged Christian Scholars on the subject.
MJ says
People are interested in truth.
OTout6284 says
We talk, read a lot about, and mock the “clubbed seals,” but how do people answer when asked, “how could you be a part of that for so long?”
I have been trying to figure out the best way to explain it, and upon asking others around me, I’ve found everyone’s reasons for being/staying in the church were different. Ironically, most I have asked had reasons that were completely secular!
Hallie Jane says
Me too Richard. I have found the Catholics who went through the hidden pedophiles era were extremely embarrassed by those events. The soul searching and house cleaning that they did afterwards was very difficult for them. It reminded me that I’m not alone and that none of this is new.