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Portland “Ideal Org” Isn’t Clearing Anyone, Let Alone Portland

November 21, 2014 By Mike Rinder 96 Comments

shoot in foot

Here is the latest scientology footbullet.

People from Portland “Ideal Org” are required to travel to Sacramento to attest to Clear. Which probably also means Seattle isn’t clearing anyone either, as that is closer to Portland than Sacramento.

And apparently Sacramento wants the world to know their ideal neighbor to the north is merely a feeder for their “big brother” in California’s capital. They don’t just announce a Clear, they headline it with how he traveled from Portland. Not very considerate, showing up your fellow org as liars and failures. It’s like a public Knowledge Report.

sac1In light of that, remember this?

 

clear-newsflash_3

Now I wonder if ANY of them actually were done AT Portland Org, or whether they are just “Portlanders” who attested somewhere else and brought pix to the org, or brought in their cert to be photographed?

I know from that at least the shot of Abby Syck has her holding a FLAG Cert. And Brandon Allender is standing in front of a “Flag” sign and his cert looks like Abby Syck’s.

Seriously, Portland is pretending to be making Clears?

But how can this be? They are AN IDEAL ORG?

They are the “first scientology city”.

Dear Leader hisself anointed them and showered praise upon their heads, and the scientology.org website still proclaims:  The building now houses all facilities of a Scientology Ideal Organization (Ideal Org), providing the complete range of religious services to a rapidly growing congregation.

Complete range of services?

Rapidly growing?

Time for an update of scientology.org. The building now houses an empty Scientology Ideal Organization (Ideal Org), providing some religious services to the remaining scientologists who have no access to the internet.

 

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Filed Under: Idle Orgs Tagged With: David Miscavige, golden age of tech II, Ideal Orgs, portland org

Comments

  1. Gus Cox says

    November 22, 2014 at 2:24 am

    If it weren’t for the Delphian School (not Academy) 65 miles away, the Portland Org would *really* be a morgue. The staff at Delphi have a shuttle to get there.

    Contrary to old facts, most of the students today at The Delphian School are NOT scientologists. And the SO does NOT recruit there. They may at the Delphi Academies – I don’t know – but NOT at The Delphian School. Maybe in the past, but not now. FYI the “School” is the one in Oregon. “Academy” refers to any other location. I don’t know if it’s their intention, but The Delphian School and Delphi Academy are different. The one in Sheridan, OR, is the School. Any other location is an Academy and is *never* referred to by Delphi as “School.” They are not the same. All the prime faculty are at the School and the standards are significantly higher there.

    Now, just an aside… humor me while I muse here: Delphi does not need Scientology; Scientology needs Delphi. The Delphian School would actually be better off and would get more students without the albatross of Scientology around its neck. The Delphian School is positive for Scientology; Scientology is negative for The Delphian School.

    If Delphi publicly disconnected from the “Church,” the School would do better. And it’s doing pretty damned well right now, unlike Miscavige’s cult. Delphi has plenty of toilet paper and their staff and faculty live well.

    Unlike many years ago, the students and graduates that are NOT Scns far outnumber those who are. And the curriculum is Delphi’s own, NOT stupid Applied Scholastics. Applied Scholastics may as well fold without Delphi to prop it up.

    I’m just putting that out there FWIW. The Delphian School could cut ties with Scientology and not only NOT get hurt, but actually do better. If the faculty and staff want to continue practicing Scientology, they could. They have enough trained auditors.

    The Delphian School does not need to kowtow to a superannuated 8th Grader from Philadelphia named COB.

    Just puttin’ that out there…

    Reply
    • Chee chalker says

      November 22, 2014 at 9:41 am

      According to the website, the Delphi Academy of Chicago incorporates the basic concepts of the LRH Study Tech into its curriculum. I drove by it a few weeks ago and the building is for sale. Not sure if the school itself is still functioning. As I mentioned yesterday in a post, the Chicago academy appears to cater more to the preschool crowd as its k-8 classes are very small (at least that is what I could determine from the web)
      Interesting that they do not list the tuition. I have vivisted many school websites and every one listed tuition….. Typical co$ sneakiness at work…I’m sure the tuition is high, but they are willing to work with you to see what they can get out of you.

      Reply
  2. Eagle Eye says

    November 22, 2014 at 12:42 am

    About that horror film, how about Li’l Davy as Chucky?! He’s small enough to play the part of a little fella who
    rips out your . . . WALLET!

    Reply
  3. Gus Cox says

    November 22, 2014 at 12:38 am

    If only He could do so without slapping His PC! Ha. Little Davey the Auditor. Asshole. lol

    Reply
  4. Richard Grant (@richardgrant) says

    November 21, 2014 at 8:48 pm

    An ideal org would be a good setting for a horror movie, I think. I mean it’s vast and empty and sort of inherently creepy to start with. You could do it on a small budget with a modest cast — maybe five or six staffers, and one raw-meat wog who’s come in for the results of his personality test, and is a little freaked out even before the weird shit comes down.

    I’m not sure what the horror element would be. Actual body thetans? The ghost of LRH? Or maybe a special RTC mission shows up, and they turn out to be real monsters instead of just figurative ones. I’ll have to think about this.

    Reply
    • MJ says

      November 21, 2014 at 10:48 pm

      Could also be a comedy with horrific elements a la Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein. Two new public (gays) walk in asking what Scientology is all about and are greeted by a homophobic staffer who looks like Jack Nicholson playing the joker who greets them with: “What are you boys into besides your yourselves, hahaha!!!!!“ They run out of there while security chases them down LRH Way on motorized skateboards. I’ll figure out the rest if I get a backer.

      Reply
    • visitor says

      November 21, 2014 at 11:01 pm

      >I’m not sure what the horror element would be.

      An army of money- and flesh-eating zombie registrars. Or how about LRH and David Miscavige as blood- and money-sucking vampires? Or Emperor Xenu in a secret underground base?

      Reply
    • Roland Rashleigh-Berry says

      November 21, 2014 at 11:22 pm

      Hello Danny… come and pay for us. Come and pay for us, Danny… forever…. and ever… and ever!

      Reply
  5. Eagle Eye says

    November 21, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    CORRECTION!
    MJ, the John Lobb shoes you saw are probably from a store. Places likeBarney’s etc.carry ready to wear
    Lobbs. Little Davy has his made to measure or, as it’s properlycalled”bespoke”. According to the Lobb website, it takes 190 steps to make a pair of the beauties. The price for any leather shoes on the price list at
    John Lobb LTD. website is 3340 pounds sterling. That translates to American $ at the current exchange rate
    of 1.57x to5243.80 dollars. That’s unless you want real crocodile, then it goes to 10,005 pounds a pair, or
    15,707.85 dollars. A pair of felt bath slippers goes for 950 pounds or 1491.50 American dollars.
    So a sea org member would have to “donate” 7 years’ pay to get his Master a pair of true crocodile John Lobb shoes for his birthday. Oh, but Davy wears lifts in his little shoes, so I’m sure that’s extra. Probably another 350 pounds, or 549.50 additional. When they see His Imperial Diminutiveness at an event he’s probably wearing about 25,000 dollars worth of shoes and clothing. He probably, likethat other famous gangster, Al Capone, gets his silk underwear made at that place in Park Avenue. But hey! he deserves it.
    After all he’s done for the “church”. This should be included when they “revise” that PL, “What Your Donations Buy”.

    Reply
    • MJ says

      November 21, 2014 at 10:08 pm

      Thanks for the correction Eagle Eye. Chairman of the Bespoke is even more corrupt than I thought and that’s saying a lot. Someone needs to seriously kick this dude’s ass big time. I’d apply for the job but unfortunately the guy seems to never travel without his goon squad.

      Reply
  6. outraged says

    November 21, 2014 at 6:19 pm

    In 1979 Portland Scientology was a teeny tiny storefront with a thousand copies of the same book. I asked why. They chased me out.

    Now ScientoLIEogy 2014 claims clears whenever and wherever they want. None of their stats are true. They make everything up to their advantage. It is all a smokescreen for a pathetic place slowing disintegrating.

    Soon Wavy Davy will be dust in the wind.

    Reply
  7. christine says

    November 21, 2014 at 6:03 pm

    Katherine,I agree,scientology in Oregon is really not an issue.My guess is the few who are involved are rich and bored looking for that something to pick them up..but on the whole most webfoots would rather spend their cash on suv,boat,hunting rifles,and assorted toys to use in our beautiful green outdoors…not willing to toss hard earned dollars into a ponzi scheme…yay

    Reply
  8. christine says

    November 21, 2014 at 4:24 pm

    Cindy, looked up Delphi…didn’t know about that either..creepy. I know they target kids and try to get into schools,but I wonder how many people send their kids here not knowing the connection. Is it like narconon? Where you don’t know til too late? My research now goes in the direction of Delphi for a while,we want our kids here to be educated and successful,not broke and brainwashed. Thx for the tip

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      November 21, 2014 at 5:58 pm

      Christine, Delphi is basically a training ground for the Sea Org. They are totally indoctrinated there with Hubbard think. Recruiters come in with their billion year contracts and try to get these kids to sign on the dotted line. Then it’s off to the Sea Org where they will become slave labor…

      Reply
      • christine says

        November 22, 2014 at 2:42 am

        Unbelievable.I can’t stand for the kids to be targeted for abuse like that….this cult is just disgusting and I would dance a jig of glee to see charges filed by each and every escapee….just sad that people are afraid to do that. So many of the stories are about false imprisonment and racketeering and assault among other things like violating child labor laws and neglecting basic needs..these are crimes for goodness sakes..deep pockets or not they need to go down

        Reply
    • Orc Bored says

      November 21, 2014 at 6:35 pm

      Their mission statement has an LRH quote, that should be a dead giveaway.
      They are also trying to catch a free ride on Sir Ken Robinson’s ideas and reputation in true Scn fashion.

      Reply
  9. Shelley says

    November 21, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    I’m amazed they allowed the publishing of his success story – he didn’t thank RTC or DM or the SO or the Ideal Org where he came from – just the C/S, auditor, family, friends and LRH. Nice to see source recognised for a change.

    Loved the shoe 🙂

    Reply
    • MJ says

      November 21, 2014 at 3:49 pm

      Ok Shelley, here goes: “I’d like to thank COB for making me steer clear of ever coming near a Scientology Org or Scientologist again, thus saving me a boatload of cash!”

      Reply
  10. thehandling says

    November 21, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    Being a wog who isn’t banned from researching Scientology on the internet makes the clear and other success stories sound very illogical

    I am myself without impurities? What do you think you’re going to do in the ot levels?

    I’d have saved that win for my ot8 success story

    Reply
  11. Rick Mycroft says

    November 21, 2014 at 2:24 pm

    At this rate, they couldn’t clear a free buffet table.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      November 21, 2014 at 5:59 pm

      Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Nice, Rick! Very nice.

      Reply
  12. Katherine Owen says

    November 21, 2014 at 1:14 pm

    EVERY time I drive/walk/ride past the Portland Org, it is dead.

    DEAD.

    With lights on, of course, at least in those areas that front the street, but eerily void of human activity. I usually can’t even see anyone inside.

    As far as I can tell, scientology is just not a “thing” in Portland. There’s no buzz, there are no events or activities visible to me as a resident. I know no one who is practicing, dabbling in, interested in or curious about it. I don’t read about scientology or hear about them in our news. As far as I can tell, scientology doesn’t actually exist here in any form other than as the holder of some downtown real estate.

    As an ex- member of 34 years, and a reader of this and other blogs, I am much more sensitive than the average human to any mention of scientology, anywhere, anytime. That word could be spoken at a whisper across a noisy room, and my ears would perk up. But I hear NOTHING.

    Portland IDEAL Org? First scientology city? When I read that, I am appalled and disgusted by how such a brazen lie will be swallowed uncritically by members of the cult (I can only assume I was as bad, back before I discovered that the internet is my friend).

    But the lie IS a lie. And it violates my native regard for the truth to hear it repeated as though true. So, Tony, thanks for continuing to point out the evidence of that lie, especially when you catch the church ratting itself out like this.

    And for the record, Portland is a wonderful city, and one of the best things about it is how scientology-free it is.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      November 21, 2014 at 1:31 pm

      Now, now, Katherine, The Portland Idle Morgue is alive and well! There are hundreds of members on course right this minute! You see, you’re back to being a WOG, and a resentful one at that. The Cult, errr, ahhhh, I mean the church doesn’t want all those folks on course to be enturbulated by seeing you so they’re all in back rooms with no windows so they can concentrate on what really important: Giving every last dime they have to the cult….damn! There I go again. meant to say church.

      Hope this clears up any M/Us you might have had.

      Reply
      • Katherine Owen says

        November 21, 2014 at 1:54 pm

        OSD, I think you and I know what a booming org looks like. OC on its way to “St.Hill Size,” back when that was the flavor of the month, that state that could be measured by statistics and therefore had to be scrapped as the yardstick for all orgs.

        Your humorous response is completely tongue-in-cheek, but we old-timers are a bit more qualified to judge the true activity level of an org by its external indicators than anyone who has come into it in the past several years (yes, I did hear there was a guy…).

        Dead, I say.

        Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        November 21, 2014 at 6:05 pm

        When you say, “OC on its way to St. Hill Size,” are you referring to Orange County, CA? I’ve been to that Idle Morgue and took a tour of the building. The morgue sits in a very poor part of Orange County, in Santa Ana. Also the heroin capital of the county. I did my lower bridge in Tustin. The morgue there was plenty big and in a very wealthy city. I think I’ll go by the OC morgue again to see how they’re doing.

        Reply
      • Katherine says

        November 22, 2014 at 1:53 pm

        OSD – Yes, I was referring to the org when it was in Tustin, specifically the year it won the Birthday Game.

        Reply
    • JennyAtLAX (@JennyAtLAX) says

      November 21, 2014 at 6:48 pm

      Re: Portland IDEAL Org

      “That Church is exquisite and working on that was one of the most exciting projects I have ever done. I was getting the staff set up in the new facilities, uniformed, getting them trained, grooving them in, working on promotion and reaching out to the local community, bringing in new public.

      “Mr. Miscavige has helped every single $cientologist achieve personal betterment with $cientology. He has brought the Church to a place in the world today, where anyone can stand up proud to be a Scientologist and part of this incredible growing movement.”

      http://www.freedommag.org/sites/default/files/declaration06.pdf
      http://www.lawrencewrightgoingclear.com/sites/default/files/App11-Jenny%20Linson.pdf

      Reply
      • MJ says

        November 21, 2014 at 10:03 pm

        Yes Jenny, now take your call mag and go to sleep now dearie.

        Reply
      • babybunker says

        November 22, 2014 at 1:16 am

        Uh Jenny.. Don’t you have an Airport to Haunt?

        Reply
      • Hallie Jane says

        November 23, 2014 at 10:35 pm

        Sounds like you know every inch of his body Jenny. You go girl!

        Reply
    • babybunker says

      November 22, 2014 at 1:14 am

      ” With lights on, ”

      Sounds like the Scientologists still in.. ” Lights on but No one is Home..”

      Reply
    • MJ says

      November 22, 2014 at 1:59 am

      Ideal was Miscavige’s way of giving the sheeple the illusion that things were going up while he planned all along to bring them down. It’s not really supposed to be ideal, but idead.

      Reply
  13. I Yawnalot says

    November 21, 2014 at 12:43 pm

    If it takes a mandatory 3 swings of the needle to classed as an FN I wonder what does anyone really attest to in dm’s world. To sit in front of an examiner waiting, waiting, waiting for that 3rd swing would be an ideal drill for how to dirty a needle in the real world. Also, it must take a very special person to be an examiner.
    The tech has been perverted for so long and the CS line is so full of overts against PCs Bridge progress I would question just what an attestation actually is in the Cof$ today. It sure hasn’t got anything to do with self-determinism or follows the guidelines set out in the code of a Scientologist.
    It boggles the mind just what would someone be “CLEAR” of in the Cof$ – zeros in the bank account I suppose.
    I think those tomatoes at Saint Hill would stand a better chance of being self-determined.

    Reply
    • MJ says

      November 21, 2014 at 3:45 pm

      And three swings from the hangman’s noose to to expedite the dying.

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        November 21, 2014 at 6:02 pm

        Is that an Ideal Hanging?

        Reply
  14. Nate S. says

    November 21, 2014 at 12:28 pm

    Looks like Alex and John didn’t want to pony up the extra bucks to have their picture taken with their clear certificates there in Portland….

    Reply
  15. Margaret says

    November 21, 2014 at 11:37 am

    Jack forgot to offer his eternal gratitude to David Isaac Miscavige (DIM) just LRH? Rookie mistake. It’s not going to go well for you, Jack.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      November 21, 2014 at 1:37 pm

      Margaret, who is this LRH you speak of? There’s only been one leader and that’s our wonderful, kind, competent and awesome, DAVID MISCAVAGE. He has the weight of the world on his shoulders. I seem to recall hearing something about a man with those initials, but, that seems like a lifetime ago. No, we are safe under the umbrella of Mr. Miscavage. Did you know he’s immortal? Yep! He even visits Target 2 from time to time.

      Reply
      • MJ says

        November 21, 2014 at 5:40 pm

        Time to retire to Target Three.

        Reply
      • Margaret says

        November 21, 2014 at 9:04 pm

        OSD, Lol!

        Reply
    • MJ says

      November 21, 2014 at 3:00 pm

      I’d like to thank the cob who taught me how to rob, I’m a brand new breed of clear although it cost me dear, I’ve got that steely stare so I won’t be declared, and now I toe the line to not commit high crimes, I’m going full OT so f*** all you SPs!!!!!!!

      Reply
    • Zephyr says

      November 21, 2014 at 3:14 pm

      Margaret,
      You beat me to it!
      How could it happen that this success story was accepted WITHOUT paying tribute to the magnificient
      leader, David Miscavige?
      Things are definitely slipping….
      Greta

      Reply
    • Cooper Kessel says

      November 21, 2014 at 4:45 pm

      I’d say there was a ‘non- clear’ r-factor coming down the pike once His Royal Highn Ass checks out the blog today. Gird the loins Jack, Hes coming for ya.

      Reply
  16. Ronit says

    November 21, 2014 at 11:33 am

    Unfirtunately, thier State of Clear is going to be invalidated sooner or later when DM is going to come up with GAT3 and decides no one is Clear and make another planetary c/sing: “everybody needs to redo NED”.

    Reply
    • MJ says

      November 21, 2014 at 1:41 pm

      First Dave needs to finish his Class IV internship.

      Reply
    • KFrancis says

      November 21, 2014 at 2:48 pm

      “Unfortunately, thier State of Clear is going to be invalidated…” …..Ronit

      And if not the state of Clear they will be invalidated one way or another.

      Only a cool million donated to the IAS? Flunk!…. you’re a loser and out ethics!

      Didn’t show up at the last event? Flunk!…..clearly you have other fish to fry!

      Need I go on?

      Reply
      • Roland Rashleigh-Berry says

        November 21, 2014 at 9:01 pm

        Exactly. Being Clear, if that state has been truly attained, is an obligation to repay the Church by making donos, as and when requested, and to move up in IAS donor level once per year. And if you don’t do that then obviously you did not get the benefits that are promised from becoming Clear and therefore you never truly achieved that level. Therefore, you must do it again at your own expense.

        Reply
  17. Xenubarb Goromasu says

    November 21, 2014 at 10:59 am

    “From Portland he came…” Uh. Who writes this stuff? Yoda’s script writer?

    Reply
  18. Rob Williamson says

    November 21, 2014 at 10:55 am

    GaDay Mike. I can’t imagine what to think about this from my EX TrueBeliever/SO POV, which just doesn’t seem to be around anymore. Goes without saying, “Clear” is a figment of one’s imagination and that’s free. Wonder if I could attest their clears. I’m only 100 miles south of Portland instead of 700. On second thought…

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      November 21, 2014 at 1:07 pm

      Hi Rob. Nice to see you here.

      Reply
  19. Jose Chung says

    November 21, 2014 at 10:51 am

    I’m happy that somebody has attained the state of Clear.
    Just on that day alone how many people were born in Portland
    or Sacramento that were not Clear ?
    Portland needs 100,000 Class 5 auditors to get their noses above water..

    Reply
    • MJ says

      November 21, 2014 at 11:22 am

      First they need to get their noses clean.

      Reply
  20. Marta says

    November 21, 2014 at 10:50 am

    Hahahaha. Truth will out. Hahahaha. Please keep the good news coming, Mike, because you are making my day here.

    Reply
  21. oneone2014 says

    November 21, 2014 at 10:20 am

    Mike – Is the main photo low-res or has the Co$ now taken to blurring the full names of recently attested victims? I can not see Jack’s full name on the certificate nor that of his ‘friend’, it looks like they have been blurred out.

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      November 21, 2014 at 10:46 am

      Yep, they blur them out to protect the innocent suckers from being informed.

      Reply
      • mwesten says

        November 21, 2014 at 7:43 pm

        His name is Jack Stanley. On his fb page he says he went clear at Portland. https://www.facebook.com/jack.stanley.948

        Reply
  22. McCarran says

    November 21, 2014 at 10:15 am

    So, Jack made a total of 3 Clears all by himself? Does Jack count 1 for Portland, 1 for Sacramento and 1 for Flag – assuming that he has never attested to Clear before and had it invalidated?

    “Clearing the Planet” has become a meaningless phrase even if the church were actually “clearing” thousands. Even THAT means – what? – that more and more people are getting rid of that “invisible driver?”

    Lies Lies Lies

    Reply
  23. SILVIA says

    November 21, 2014 at 10:07 am

    I suspect the situation is similar within other orgs, ideal or not ideal; they are desperately grabbing public from wherever they. Maybe one portlander cause an affluence, a ‘right why’ was found and now they are sending letters and promo to portland public to join sacramento.

    Independently of how this happened a fact does exist: the orgs are literally dead; not dying, they are ALREADY dead and I can bet Flag is experiencing this gruesome reality too.

    Reply
  24. christine says

    November 21, 2014 at 9:46 am

    I was born and raised in Portland,now live in small town Oregon..and have never been or known a scientologist..I remember one Dianetics commercial from the 70s but never knew the connection. I don’t think scientology is very big in the Pacific Northwest.At least its not something I have seen at work or school over the last four decades.Just the same I do my best to warn everyone I can. I started following the whole story about six months ago and haven’t stopped reading yet..I applaud everyone who escaped and hold hope in my heart for those who haven’t.I absolutely detest human rights abuse and send kudos to all of you who take your experiences and use them to advocate for others.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      November 21, 2014 at 10:40 am

      Christine, you’re awesome! Please keep up the warnings to your friends, family and a acquaintances. Tell them to go to youtube and put in “scientology.” The videos will do the rest.

      Reply
      • cindy says

        November 21, 2014 at 12:48 pm

        Warn them about Delphi Academy in Oregon too

        Reply
    • Chee chalker says

      November 21, 2014 at 6:34 pm

      I live in Chicago and I have never (in my 29+ (ha) years) met a Scientologist….though the ex’s I have had the privilege of chatting with on various blogs are some of the nicest people!
      I drove by the Delphi Academy of Chicago (actually located 15 miles west of Chicago) a few weeks ago…..the building is for sale, not sure if the school is still open. (If I can figure out a way to attach the picture I snapped I will send it on another post). I was shocked there even was a school in this area as there are not a lot of Scientologists in this area, regardless of what Dazzling Dave tells the world.
      From what I could gather on line, it seems to be more of a preschool, with very few students in grades 1 – 8.

      Reply
  25. KFrancis says

    November 21, 2014 at 9:44 am

    It’s sad to see a beautiful pair of John Lobb’s take a direct blast like that.

    I take some comfort in knowing the shot was through and through and the highly crafted leather loafers never felt a thing.

    I expect Dave will just reload and give it another go.

    Reply
    • McCarran says

      November 21, 2014 at 10:19 am

      🙂 Love the little puddle of blood coming out from under the shoe.

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        November 21, 2014 at 1:41 pm

        Me too! The entire scene just filled my heart with warm & fuzzy feelings!

        Reply
    • MJ says

      November 21, 2014 at 10:27 am

      Not to worry, I’m sure Davey’s got a few extra pairs lying around. I checked out the price of John Lobb shoes. One sold for $1,650 and it wasn’t the most expensive. This would be 33 weeks of work for a Sea Org member if he got $50 a week which most of us know is not the case. So a pair of these shoes represents at least a year’s pay. A poster could read: “SO members, do you know that a pair of David Miscavige’s shoes cost more than you make in a year?”

      Reply
      • Zephyr says

        November 21, 2014 at 3:06 pm

        MJ,
        Yup, but needs shortening so it fits well into a business window. in/near PAC How about
        “DM’ shoe price = your yearly SO wage”
        Closeby business owners please take note!
        Maybe they’ll ALSO throw in a roll a free toilet paper….
        Greta

        Reply
      • Orc Bored says

        November 21, 2014 at 5:37 pm

        Zephyr, great idea about placing ads in shopwindows of businesses surrounding orgs, not just PAC.

        I’d probably use LED Message Displays so there is no space limitation and broadcast the latest and greatest of footbullets with very little effort, 24/7.

        It would be the end of any attempt to body-route wogs and potentially cool a few of the frogs still in the pot 🙂

        Reply
  26. GTBO says

    November 21, 2014 at 9:43 am

    Makes as much sense as the poem “Jaberwocky”
    They really don ‘t have a clue as to how anyone capable of an original thought percieves them.

    Reply
  27. Science Doc says

    November 21, 2014 at 9:40 am

    If they attested to Clear at the Orange County Org they could go to Disneyland afterwards. If they brought an OT with them they could find a good parking space.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      November 21, 2014 at 10:37 am

      Now wait just a dog gone minute, Science Doc! I’ve got a bone to pick with you! As an OT (outside of C of $), I went to Disneyland with my wife and we got an incredible parking spot!!!!! Ok, we did get there super early and it was on a Tuesday (very low attendance day), but, you can’t deny my super powers! Oh, and it was drizzling at the time, but, THAT DOES NOT TAKE AWAY FROM MY INCREDIBLE POWERS!

      What really freaked me out, though, was all the WOGS that got parking spots next to mine. It just had to have been a fluke…HAD TO.

      Reply
      • Brian says

        November 21, 2014 at 12:08 pm

        I hate to break it to you Surfer Dude, but it was me who tone 40ed you to go to Disneyland early.

        Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        November 21, 2014 at 1:43 pm

        Holy crap!!! So that was the vide I was picking up! Gosh, Brian, but you ARE good! And, hey, thanks for the push! Greatly appreciated!

        Reply
      • Brian says

        November 21, 2014 at 11:15 pm

        I do what I can. Big beings like me have a lot of bigness to demonstrate so the little baby tiny beings can be helped by my bigness.

        I may be the biggest being there is. That’s how big I am.

        I am such a big being that sometimes I step on little beings by accident because they are such small beings.

        But I do not have secondaries or HE&R because I am cause over my conscience.
        Big beings don’t need a conscience because moral conscience was implanted by the moral implant station on Bongo Bongo in the 3rd sector or the Galaxy Schlombovia 5.

        Once I erased my conscience, small beings became like little flies. Fun to swat and squish.

        Reply
  28. hgc10 says

    November 21, 2014 at 9:14 am

    “Jack, with friends, were warmly welcomed…”

    NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!

    For the love of fucking Xenu! Learn to speak the English language! Just say those words out loud. Does that sound right? Does not the innate syntactical reasoning in your brain revolt against the sound of that? Don’t those words feel like a mouthful of marbles? Stop it, already! Your meager output can be proofread and edited by professionals at a very low cost. I implore! Stop making me read bad English.

    Reply
    • Margaret says

      November 21, 2014 at 11:32 am

      + eleventy billion

      Reply
    • The Dark Avenger says

      November 21, 2014 at 12:55 pm

      Proofreading is for wogs, not beings with command over MEST.

      Reply
    • JennyAtLAX (@JennyAtLAX) says

      November 21, 2014 at 6:25 pm

      Re: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!! For the love of fucking Xenu! Learn to speak the English language!

      “In the years, there been Church expansion at orders magnitude previously dreamed, led Miscavige, and proud management team following. We have so much to. We in our prime and just. The Mecca now. We have being renovated open end of year. We have new for public and more. The future brighter ever been.”

      http://www.freedommag.org/sites/default/files/declaration06.pdf

      Reply
      • Margaret says

        November 21, 2014 at 8:58 pm

        Make it stop! Make it stop!

        Reply
      • MJ says

        November 21, 2014 at 9:01 pm

        Dear Jenny,

        Thanks so much for your statement in the attached link. Now that’s what I call die hard dedication in the face of all contrary evidence!

        I remember you from PAC and cannot honestly say I felt a lot of ARC emanating from your person. However perhaps it was that time of the month or maybe you just like being a bitch. Funny, but I find Mike Rinder a compassionate and caring man. Possibly you have an agenda?

        If you ever wake up, here’s a change of viewpoint you might experience.

        Before:
        Don’t forget it’s life or death, toe the line or RPF, learn to be deaf, dumb and blind, always kiss dear Dave’s behind.

        After:
        Take this job and shove it
        I ain’t workin’ here no more
        My spirit done left and took all of the reasons
        That I was workin’ for

        You better not try to stand in my way
        When I’m walkin’ out the door
        Take this job and shove it
        I ain’t workin’ here no more

        Well, I’ve been working in this so called church
        Pretty close to 30 years
        I’ve seen some of my very best friends
        Drownin’ in a pool of tears

        I’ve seen a lot of kinfolks dyin’
        I had a lot of bills to pay
        Lord, I’d give the shirt right off my back
        If I had the guts to say, say what?

        Take this job and shove it
        I ain’t workin’ here no more
        My spirit done left and took all of the reasons
        That I was workin’ for

        You better not try to stand in my way
        When I’m walkin’ out the door
        Take this job and shove it
        I ain’t workin’ here no more

        The leader is a regular S.O.B.
        And my senior, he’s a fool
        He got himself a brand new swagger stick
        Lord, he really thinks that’s cool

        One of these days I’m gonna blow my top
        And there’ll be a big price to pay
        Well I can’t wait to see their faces
        When I get the nerve to say, say what?

        Take this job and shove it
        I ain’t workin’ here no more
        My spirit done left and took all of the reasons
        That I was workin’ for

        You better not try to stand in my way
        When I’m walkin’ out the door
        Take this job and shove it
        I ain’t workin’ here no more
        Take this job and shove it

        Reply
    • edge says

      November 22, 2014 at 12:04 am

      Proofreading is wog technology. It implies that you think you may not have gotten things right the first time and need to either go through it again or get someone else to look over it with a fresh set of eyes. That implies doubts that the Scientology prose isn’t the greatest fucking thing ever. No second guessing allowed here. Doubts are just a step shy of being PTS or something. Scientology are warmly welcomed wherever we go.

      Reply
  29. whostolemycog says

    November 21, 2014 at 9:00 am

    One could make a case that every one of the “millions” of Scientologists is CLEAR, whether they’ve attested or not…

    CLEARed out bank accounts due to being
    CLEARly deluded by the mindfook by
    CLEARly ignoring measurable reality and fact in favor of the party line and wallowing in ignorance until
    CLEARed of the biological and sociological bond of family in favor of adherence to the wishes of the cult

    Reply
  30. NOLAGirl says

    November 21, 2014 at 8:57 am

    “Gone are the days of an invisible mental slave driver demanding aberrative action”

    Not yet, but I imagine it’s coming. 🙂

    Reply
    • McCarran says

      November 21, 2014 at 9:58 am

      Right, NolaGirl, when I, too, was struck by that line and thought, “Yea, just wait. Your ‘invisible mental slave driver’ will become very visible. Hide your family! Hide your money! RUN!!!!!”

      Reply
      • Artoo45 says

        November 21, 2014 at 9:18 pm

        But he’s “striven” all these years . . .

        Reply
    • Martin Padfield says

      November 21, 2014 at 10:12 am

      Yes, the reactive mind does exist after all and it’s called the Church of Scientology.

      Reply
      • McCarran says

        November 21, 2014 at 1:08 pm

        Good One, Martin. It truly is a stimilus-response mechanism.

        Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        November 21, 2014 at 6:08 pm

        The Reactive Church of Scientology…

        Reply
    • Cooper Kessel says

      November 21, 2014 at 2:01 pm

      LOL !! +100 to all your wit!

      Reply
  31. Idle Morgue says

    November 21, 2014 at 8:22 am

    How long before they clear the planet? There are 7 BILLION people!

    How is Super Power and GAT II playing a part of planetary clearing?

    These look like the same ole same ole stats of yesterday.

    Only Scientology would announce a “WIN” from clearing 12 people from areas with the following populations:

    Portland – 610,000 people
    Seattle – 650,000 people
    Sacremento – 479,000 people

    Scientology – where “win” means lose every time!

    Reply
    • w. martin says

      November 21, 2014 at 8:59 am

      King County (Seattle and immediate environs) has a population just over 2 million. Seeing that Seattle is the ONLY org or mission in Washington State, the numbers are actually worse. There are 4700X more people with purple hair in Seattle than scientologists.

      Reply
    • jgg2012 says

      November 21, 2014 at 1:42 pm

      I wonder how many SPs they declared during that time.

      Reply
      • Roland Rashleigh-Berry says

        November 21, 2014 at 8:55 pm

        I wonder how many Clears the gave an R-factor to to tell them they were not Clear in that time.

        Reply
    • deanblair06 says

      November 21, 2014 at 1:58 pm

      Good to see you on here Idle Morgue. Drop in at ESMB again some time. I miss you.

      Reply
  32. Richard Grant (@richardgrant) says

    November 21, 2014 at 8:12 am

    Jeez, this is kind of embarrassing.

    I wonder if we’ll start seeing self-congratulatory fliers proclaiming, like, “Portland Ideal Org Now Has ALL The Lights On!!!” Because the way things are going, that would be an almost superhuman achievement.

    Reply
    • zemooo says

      November 21, 2014 at 12:40 pm

      The brag, ‘we have toilet paper’ now makes sense. Poor Portland, though it is one the best American cities to get a beer.

      Reply

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