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Scientology Twitterfails

April 1, 2015 By Mike Rinder 113 Comments

In light of the news that Going Clear is the biggest HBO Documentary since Spike Lee’s Katrina doc nearly 10 years ago, and #GoingClear was trending on Twitter for more than 24 hours, it is enlightening to look at the scientology efforts to deal with the shitstorm.

Scientology bought Twitter ads — see this article in Adweek.

Screenshot (193)

Of course, this was a massive fail. Sort of like their “advertorial” in The Atlantic earlier. It resulted in even more negative coverage. They are 100% tone deaf to public opinion.

And it is really amusing to see the church claiming interest in scientology is at an all-time high.

Seriously. Just look at the headline.

Everyone reads that and thinks “there they go again, these people are absolutely nuts.” Everyone that is except the clubbed seals that will sit at the next event and be prompted to a standing ovation with Miscavige telling them that “the media” (those hated merchants of chaos) headlined the fact that “interest is at an all time high” and we had better redouble our efforts to make every org “ideal” to “handle the huge demand.”

This sort of craziness is no different than the Nazi party announcing how excited they are about the increased interest they got after Schindler’s List hit the theaters. Or the Catholic Church crowing about more people on their website after Mea Maxima Culpa aired.

Bizarre. But clear that this IS how Miscavige is going to spin this to his followers, just as I predicted yesterday.

And then one of our Special Correspondents sent me this. Apparently there is a site where you can check how many fake Twitter followers someone has.

Here is a screenshot of what happened when they asked about scientology.

Amazing that the fastest growing religion on earth, expanding more in the last 10 years than all 50 years before that blah blah blah has only a bit over one quarter of its Twitter followers that are “good.”

Screenshot (192)Scientology, Masters of Communication. Masters of the Airwaves. Kings of the Twitterverse.

FAIL.

 

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Filed Under: Public Relations Tagged With: Alex Gibney, Church of Scientology, David Miscavige, Going Clear, public relations

Comments

  1. Ben says

    April 5, 2015 at 4:53 pm

    If they actually attract new members now that the film is out, and that they’ve set up their crazy propaganda website about the documentary, it’s gonna be psychopaths, propulsing the whole organization even further into dementia.

    Reply
  2. CM says

    April 2, 2015 at 9:36 am

    CORRECTION: Actually those “abused minions” break my heart. That is more tragic than anything. Sorry!

    Reply
  3. CM says

    April 2, 2015 at 9:34 am

    I’m calling my broker and gonna invest in popcorn futures. When the blockbuster movie comes out, it will be big! Gosh, the special effects with the space people creating earth, the rise and fall of DM, the abused minions, the murder and cover of (Lisa McP)……..wow. You can’t make this stuff up!

    Reply
  4. RolandRB says

    April 2, 2015 at 7:03 am

    It all comes down to the game of keeping the whales and keeping them donating. I would say that all this bad publicity will gain them a few members, but not members with money. Some people want to be part of a strong (bullying) organisation and are happy to be abused as members. Also, some people with money (i.e whales) will leave. It will be a flow both ways but a net loss of people and a net loss of money. What I want to see develop is how they are going to keep the whales and keep them donating and the tricks they will use to achieve this that might backfire due to the Wheezing Dwarf(tm) not being in touch with the Real World(tm). Those of you who hope that this will lead to the demise of the Church need to get accurate records of IAS donations. These might get falsified initially by the cult to give their whales a warm glow about how things are going and encourage them to give more btu they are a semi-independent lot and they will compare notes and work out if they are being conned. This is going to be very difficult for DM to pull off but not entirely impossible. Luck will enter into it.

    Reply
  5. Espiritu says

    April 2, 2015 at 2:28 am

    Exactly, Dan. They are going by the false datum that “any publicity is good publicity”.

    To my understanding the basic idea of PR is to make someone or something “well known AND well thought of “. The last part of that idea is important. If one simply wants to make oneself “well known”, that can be accomplished with a WANTED poster.
    ….and in this case, perhaps will be!

    Reply
  6. Pericles says

    April 2, 2015 at 2:09 am

    Whatever happened to the CALL TO ARMS on the 31st?

    Reply
  7. Pepper says

    April 1, 2015 at 11:29 pm

    The CoS has entered into hapless territory. Fail is right!

    Reply
    • FG says

      April 2, 2015 at 7:58 am

      I tell you what…. Nobody really understood. All that work for the church. It’s a dissemination scheme! Anyone knows that people of earth are 1,1 or below. Actually COB cognited, he told me that while we drank togather a good old scotch.
      He started to show me his nice new shoes, bought from Crockett and Jones. And his new jacket made in Savil Row.
      Then said : “Those suckers on this shit planet are all below 1,1 or even below. They can’t appreciate theta data. Look at the press, just entheta. And more entheta more sales. So, saying that Scientology may save your life is like pissing on the wind. So, I managed to create a bit of antagonism. Consequences, this shit documentary with those DBs Rathbun and Rinder saying their lies. So the documentary has had great success with the DBs on earth. But out of the millions viewers, if there is only 5% of them who really want to know about Scientology, we are winning. We are going to have the biggest affluence ever!”
      I asked him what was the next step. He looked at me with a big smile : “Donate for the Ideal Org. Where are we going to put those new public? Our strategy of Ideal Orgs should be continued and increased without Q&A!”

      Reply
  8. Kasey says

    April 1, 2015 at 9:48 pm

    I think you’re a brave man. After watching the documentary, I was horrified, astounded, and mystified of the things, you and others went through. Keep spreading the message. Because the world needs to know how sick and twisted this “religion” is.

    Reply
  9. Valhalkarie says

    April 1, 2015 at 9:37 pm

    Wonder when he figures out a scam like $cientology single mingle,social media. Like christian mingle or Jew date. And the membership is so high and each message costs you $10….. So cob’s style

    Reply
  10. Tony Agudo says

    April 1, 2015 at 8:32 pm

    Mike, they’re also failing hard on Facebook too. Scrolling down on the “Freedom Media & Ethics” page, you’ll see loads of posts attacking the documentary and everyone involved, yet their posts can’t break more than 5 shares and/or likes at most and when attempting to look at the comments, you’ll see virtually nothing because they’ve obviously deleted them(Actually, one post got a few comments, but they’re from those who liked the film and somehow managed to survive the deletions). It’s hilarious.

    Reply
  11. Good Old Boy says

    April 1, 2015 at 8:24 pm

    DM is stuck in a rut and cannot change a damn thing. Its his way or the highway. Now he is going to further damage and destroy to save his vaulted reputation. I’ve worked with this crazy man and believe me he is the most narcissistic arrogant asshole I’ve ever met!!!

    Reply
    • Michael Mallen says

      April 1, 2015 at 9:41 pm

      Don’t hold back!

      Reply
  12. burnedbutnotbitter says

    April 1, 2015 at 7:32 pm

    Mike, I wrote you thank you last nite but wanted you to know when we were downloading Going Clear off Torrentz Tues nite, over 4000 people had uploaded it and 900 people were downloading it at that very moment….so not included in the viewing stat is the “illegal” views which is a populist movement in itself,IMHO.

    Also I wanted some post-discussion and intelligent predictions which you can’t find on standard media (yet), so I turned to your blog and there it was! So I just subscribed, you will see it…

    Reply
  13. Tyler Durden says

    April 1, 2015 at 7:32 pm

    The other articles in other publications that continue to be written and published only expand the truth about Scientology. The titlewave continues to grow “lil Davey”. Each day the the truth will grow through the ranks, and spread like a virus, and soon they will be leaving in droves. It’s coming….

    Reply
  14. Sara McCoy says

    April 1, 2015 at 6:39 pm

    I have followed this cult for years, not understanding why it had not been investigated with gusto all those years ago. I read “Going Clear” the minute it hit bookstores. As with the book and the documentary, the one thing I was disappointed in was how little emphasis was placed on the abuse of the children…physically, mentally and educationally. This is what I think could bring the church down. I read “Beyond Belief: My Secret Life Inside Scientology and My Harrowing Escape” written by Jenna Miscavige. Her father is Ron Miscavige, David’s brother. THAT is an eyeopener and describes her experiences from childhood in the “church.” If any of you haven’t read it, I implore you to. It is heartbreaking what children are exposed to and forced to endure, seperated from their parents for very long periods of time and at very early ages. I watched “Going Clear” two nights in a row…with my mouth agape.

    Reply
    • Ellen Mancusi says

      April 2, 2015 at 7:14 am

      Sara,
      Like you, I’ve also followed the cult for years having lost a friend to the cult in NYC year’s ago (when he was only 17) and meeting up with him once he left only to find a shell of his former happy self. I too read the book by Jenna Miscavige Hill and agree that some more attention on the children of this cult should be brought to light. The documentary was awesome though and I am spreading the word to all my friends to take a look!

      Reply
      • Sara McCoy says

        April 2, 2015 at 9:34 am

        The documentary was jaw dropping, even for me, who has followed this sickness for years. It is just beyond me that law enforcement has not investigated the abuse of the children. That indeed is criminal!!!

        Reply
  15. JG says

    April 1, 2015 at 4:53 pm

    Finally got to see “Going Clear”….kudos to all of you, who know from experience more than the rest of us “never ins”. My experience began about 20 years ago when an “ex-sci” came to my home and immediately moved in. He was (and I hope not) still is extremely paranoid and changes his phone # and address constantly. He is without a doubt, the most “special case” individual I’ve ever met. “They HAD him boy”. It is simultaneously fascinating and terrifying. I gave him work and as soon as he learned, he went to the “source” I was working with. He is on a mission to dead agent/fair game anyone who even remotely disagrees with him. He’s “disconnected” from me at least 20 times, but always returns…a threatening e-mail here, a call to the “war is just starting” over there. How I wish I never knew, but I’ll admit I’ve been hooked since finding out about Mike and many others on the A&E Documentary. He started telling me about BT’s, runners, events, tests, auditing, and Sea Org./Staff recruiters @ CC. His 5/6 months “in” has profoundly affected my world in a very negative manner. Can’t believe I’m going to hit the post button. Don’t let them keep doing this to good folks, and thank every last one of you who even remotely cares.

    Reply
  16. dankoon says

    April 1, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    Well, DM is right about that, interest is at an all time high. Except it is the interest of the guy stealing your car or hacking into your bank account. They are VERY interested but it sucks for you.

    Reply
  17. Kronomex says

    April 1, 2015 at 4:33 pm

    “…be prompted to a standing ovation with Miscavige telling…”? Shouldn’t it be a kneeling ovation, because of Cap’n Homunculus heightism amongst other syndromes and failings.

    Reply
  18. malgin1 says

    April 1, 2015 at 4:21 pm

    OT
    New official date for the opening of Basel Ideal Org: 25.4.15
    We’ll see if they can make it this time…

    http://www.wilfriedhandl.com/blog/2015/04/projekt-basel-44-der-eroeffnungstermin-fuer-den-scientology-kasten-scheint-festzustehen-und-ist-kein-april-scherz/

    Reply
  19. Gerhard Waterkamp says

    April 1, 2015 at 4:08 pm

    As I hoped, comedy relief is kicking in gear.

    http://iaf.tv/2015/03/31/the-church-of-scientology-responds-to-going-clear/

    Reply
  20. doloras says

    April 1, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    Geir Isene says that some of the people who saw _Going Clear_ are considering rejoining the church. I’m disturbed.

    Reply
    • BP (Bruno Parent) says

      April 1, 2015 at 11:24 pm

      He himself confirmed, afterwards, that it was an April Fool’s joke.

      Reply
  21. Ms.P says

    April 1, 2015 at 3:36 pm

    Little Davey can twitter, text and scream all he wants but the genie is out of the bottle. On a side note, Megan Kelly last night opened up dialogue as to whether Scientology should be revoked tax exemption. Gotta love that Megan and hopefully other journalists and/or government officials will take a look and keep this dialogue going.

    Reply
  22. Sarita Shoemaker says

    April 1, 2015 at 3:34 pm

    What will those followers do if DM is arrested and held in jail like Warren Jeffs?

    He’s hurting so many people – telling lies and more lies! They’re dumping their money into his pockets…

    Isn’t this somehow ILLEGAL???

    Reply
  23. LDW says

    April 1, 2015 at 3:17 pm

    Spent a bit of time scanning articles about Scientology, Cruise, Gibney, Going Clear, HBO Documentary etc.

    Not one single solitary article mentioning Going Clear that was favorable to the church or scientology. Not one. Not even the slightest bit of tempering the outrage.

    This is quite a bit bigger than I thought it would be. While this might be the proverbial final nail, there are still many more to come this year.

    Would love to see Ortega’s Miss Lovely made into a motion picture, scripted by Haggis.

    OSA; CST; scientology celebs; scientology whales. All you folks better give miscavige the comm ev he so richly deserves. Confess all his crimes and your crimes. Make restitution. Clean up your act.

    I’m afraid you are all being “FAIR GAMED” in the real world. And it’s only going to get worse. Poetic Justice.

    No more tick toc, tick toc, Man that alarm clock is ringing loud and clear. Wake up!

    Reply
    • DollarMorgue says

      April 2, 2015 at 5:37 am

      Miss Lovely played by Nicole Kidman. Now that would be justice…

      Reply
  24. Visitor says

    April 1, 2015 at 2:21 pm

    Those numbers translate to 138 good followers. Not fearfully impressive.

    Reply
  25. Aquamarine says

    April 1, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    “…interest has never been greater…” That’s true, actually.

    Reply
  26. Michael Mallen says

    April 1, 2015 at 2:06 pm

    Scientology’s twittering trivialities resemble a duck flapping its wings trying to get airborne. Strictly for the birds.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      April 1, 2015 at 6:07 pm

      I don’t think they’ll ever get off the ground, Michael. Permanently grounded.

      Reply
      • Michael Mallen says

        April 1, 2015 at 9:38 pm

        That’s because they’re a bunch of quacks.

        Reply
  27. The Oracle says

    April 1, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    And, Miscavige has been outed as a world class pimp:

    http://finance.yahoo.com/news/crazy-story-scientology-allegedly-once-131700711.html

    http://www.richestcelebrities.net/david-miscavige-net-worth/

    Reply
    • Espiando says

      April 1, 2015 at 2:57 pm

      The words “David Miscavige” and “world class” should never be used together in any context, positive or negative.

      He is a demiurge homunculus created when L. Ron took one last shot at summoning something from the depths of Hell.

      Reply
    • Ms.P says

      April 1, 2015 at 3:40 pm

      His net worth makes me sick. It’s inexcusable!!!!!! considering they way Sea Org and staff live.

      Reply
  28. jgg2012 says

    April 1, 2015 at 1:24 pm

    Actually, their worst PR was their own tweets from their own celebrities. Bodhi Elfman compared Mike and the other 7 people in Going Clear to the Nazis. Lemme see-how many Nazis were high ranking members of the Jewish religion for 20 years? How many had Jewish friends? How many expressed concern for the rights of other Jews? I missed that.

    Reply
    • Jose Chung says

      April 1, 2015 at 7:10 pm

      In desperation and unable to respond to the C of $ will play the Nazi card.
      Long past failing with the Bigot card.

      Reply
      • Kemist says

        April 2, 2015 at 8:05 pm

        I think the next card is the “Poopyhead” card.

        Reply
  29. BlondesAreDumb says

    April 1, 2015 at 1:11 pm

    I posted yesterday that Dave is reading this blog and other sites looking for information and direction. Clearly obvious that Mike was his best strategist and thinker when in. No one has replaced this role with intelligence, experience, and savvy.

    Dave is trying to use technology as the whole world now does. He’s no different than the common man in some respects. Except that he and his organization have been a big failure in understanding the power of technology (e.g., twitter, blogs, internet) if used surreptitiously or without knowledge of function and audience — even simply using common sense works!

    Reply

    Reply
  30. Friendly Lurker says

    April 1, 2015 at 11:34 am

    As ever, an insightful analysis; although I did do a double-take when a comparison included both the RC Church and Nazis in the same paragraph. 😉

    Reply
  31. [email protected] says

    April 1, 2015 at 11:20 am

    “Little fists”. (from yesterday’s comments) CRACKED ME UP!! Funny!

    Reply
  32. Espiando says

    April 1, 2015 at 10:45 am

    This is why you should never let the elves that live inside of your head have a Twitter account and access to your checkbook.

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      April 1, 2015 at 6:01 pm

      So that’s my problem! Wow! Thanks, Espiando! BTW, have you seen my checkbook lately?

      BTW, is it still $1,000 an hour to get rid of the elves?

      Reply
  33. Sindy Sloan Fagen says

    April 1, 2015 at 10:33 am

    And just like they claimed that their website visits skyrocketed after the documentary, these “good” Twitter followers could also easily be people trolling them and curious about what they tweet so they can show their friends.

    I am sure lots of people went to the Scientology website after the documentary to see, “what the hell IS this?” I know when I was in, I couldn’t have cared less about the church’s Twitter feed. Seriously?

    “I’m sorry supervisor for being late to course, I was reading my Scn Twitter feed” Uh huh.

    Reply
  34. EMAN says

    April 1, 2015 at 10:31 am

    I found it. It doesn’t show up all the time. Maybe it will when you open the link. You can pass it after 5 seconds.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noDEBbqxkF0

    Reply
  35. EMAN says

    April 1, 2015 at 10:30 am

    I don’t have the video on youtube anymore but when researching a video on Going Clear, scn put an ad just before it, trying to kill the documentary. I thought it was funny.

    Reply
  36. Jane D. says

    April 1, 2015 at 10:28 am

    Mr. Rinder, you’re forgetting curiosity.

    People will join Scientology based on that HBO and other publications because they want to find out for themselves. The media doesn’t replace self-exploration. They might fight something else than what the media is telling them.

    Reply
    • The Dark Avenger says

      April 1, 2015 at 11:12 am

      People weren’t joining in droves before the movie was aired, what makes you think that anyone will be interested in joining Scientology after such negative publicity becomes common knowledge with the never-ins?

      Reply
      • Jose Chung says

        April 1, 2015 at 3:41 pm

        I completed reading Going Clear cover to cover.
        For someone to join in the C of $ after reading Going Clear
        I just don’t see that happening.
        I predict book sales of Going Clear skyrocketing as C of $ public numbers crash to zero.

        Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        April 1, 2015 at 5:53 pm

        Yeah, you see, TDA, I was thinking the exact same thing. The Pasadena Model Ideal Idle Morgue is just that: Idle. The SO have sent a bunch of kids to try and body route people on Raymond Street (where the cult is). They are just a block away from Colorado Bl. (our Main Street in Pasadena) & Raymond St. Tons of foot traffic! Hundreds of people a day pass just a block away from the cult. You would think they’d have body routers on all 4 corners of that intersection. Instead, they stand in the doorway of the cult trying to hand out tickets to their current propaganda film.

        As Mike once said, the only people they can possibly interest in just taking a look at scientology, are people who don’t know how to use Google.

        Reply
        • Michael Mallen says

          April 1, 2015 at 9:13 pm

          Time to start recruiting from Assisted Living.

          Reply
      • hgc10 says

        April 1, 2015 at 10:35 pm

        I love that they hand out “tickets” for a recruiting film in an empty church. They are so goofball. I understand the notion of creating an illusion of value where there is none, a la TV commercials that offer whatever crap for $20+S&H and tell you it’s a $100 value. Market value is proven in the pudding, meaning that what people are actually paying is evidence of the current value. A “free ticket” to a movie that absolutely no one has ever paid to see, and no one wants to see, is farcical.

        Reply
    • Roger Hornaday says

      April 1, 2015 at 11:26 am

      Those made curious by the documentary will come flooding in and course rooms will once again be filled! Who wants to take bets on that?

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        April 1, 2015 at 5:57 pm

        I’ll take that bet, Roger! I do think they’ll come flooding in and the course rooms will once again be filled! To the rafters! And beyond! Whew, all this lying is making me thirsty….

        Reply
      • Sara McCoy says

        April 1, 2015 at 6:46 pm

        I do.

        Reply
      • RolandRB says

        April 1, 2015 at 8:17 pm

        The Church is capable of faking it for a few weeks for hptot shoots so that they can tell the whales the story that it has caused massive interest and unprecedented expansion (and can you give us a few more million dollars, please?).

        Reply
    • John Locke says

      April 1, 2015 at 12:54 pm

      Jane D. said, “People will join Scientology based on that HBO and other publications because they want to find out for themselves.”

      Um, sure. Just like when people flocked to every other abusive cult they were outed. (except is doesn’t happen that way) LOL!

      Reply
      • Jose Chung says

        April 1, 2015 at 3:44 pm

        Peoples Temple did not have a rush of new members after 900 committed suicide in Guyana !!!.

        Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      April 1, 2015 at 2:10 pm

      “Join” Scientology due to curiosity aroused by “Going Clear”? Seriously? Jane D, have you yourself SEEN this film?

      If so, I’m going to ask you to assume the viewpoint of someone who knows nothing or very little about Scientology other than Tom Cruise is into it, and ask yourself if what this film details would propel you join up with the Church of Scientology.

      Having yourself no experience with Scientology, would your curiosity after viewing this be so strong that you would walk into an org and say, “Hi! Is this a Church of Scientology? Well, I just saw Alex Gibney’s documentary about you people and I’ve gotta find out ALL about this abusive, greedy, ruthless, mind-controlling cult you’ve got here! How much does it cost and where do I sign?”

      Jane D. I rather think you yourself have not seen this “Going Clear”, and I suggest that you do so to disabuse yourself of the fatuous notion that it could ever be used by your cult as a recruitment tool.

      Reply
    • Espiando says

      April 1, 2015 at 2:46 pm

      To quote South Park, this is what Scientologists actually believe.

      Is anyone going to fess up and say that Jane D.’s post was their April Fool? Because if it isn’t one, then it’s proof positive that the bubble contains no oxygen.

      Reply
    • Newcomer says

      April 1, 2015 at 3:04 pm

      You guys …………it’s Dave again. It’s also April fools day and He certainly qualifies as the greater fool.

      Yo Dave,
      Better get busy on getting the old Boy Scout Motto applied good buddy. You will need it. The only thing you or anyone else will find curious is how fast the cult will circle the drain before Your magic sucking sound is heard. Be Prepared DAVE!.

      Reply
    • DollarMorgue says

      April 1, 2015 at 3:44 pm

      J/D said: Stop that thief! He stole my humanity!!!

      Reply
    • Gimpy says

      April 1, 2015 at 4:10 pm

      I have seen a few people take a look at the subject because they are curious, very few stay, once the regges start asking for money they disappear quickly. I was curious and did stick around but then the sort of information available today on the internet just wasn’t there all those years ago.

      Reply
    • LDW says

      April 1, 2015 at 5:58 pm

      I know exactly what you mean, Jane. As a matter of fact after watching the documentary I’ve decided to do my A-E and get my quals in for upper management so I too can be put in a garbage can, have cold water dumped on my head until I turn blue while 50-100 psychotics scream “what are your crimes.”

      Oh my god, I’m just so excited I can hardly wait.

      Reply
      • Michael Mallen says

        April 1, 2015 at 9:42 pm

        Don’t forget to CSW to be called a Lesbo.

        Reply
    • Kemist says

      April 2, 2015 at 8:02 pm

      Guys, I think this is an april fool’s.

      Jane D.

      J and D.

      Reply
  37. SILVIA says

    April 1, 2015 at 10:20 am

    Also DM has been inside the bubble since early teens. He may go to luxurious restaurants, vacations, plane trips,etc but he in fact has never been living outside enough to see that there are good people living around, that exchange of ideas with common people create new relations and things can get done.
    He has no idea what ‘living outside’ in the world really means.

    His only tools and ‘knowledge’ had been lies, deceit, etc., and yes, the general people ain’t going to buy it no more.

    Reply
    • Fred says

      April 1, 2015 at 4:53 pm

      This is a very good point. The hideous dwarf troll, (HDT) suffers from the problem any 3rd world dictator has, screeching, harassing and beating underlings doesn’t get the best from people. Competent people eventually decide they’ve had enough and they blow. The butt kissing, sycophants won’t tell him what he needs to know.

      Reply
  38. Jose Chung says

    April 1, 2015 at 10:15 am

    1.7 million SP Declares in one night.
    Mike Ellis is crying Ay Carumba !!!!!

    Reply
  39. Roger Hornaday says

    April 1, 2015 at 10:14 am

    Few things are as humiliating as a publicized TWEET FAIL. It’s sad, sort of like seeing a once powerful adversary being arrested for shoplifting.

    Reply
  40. Daisy says

    April 1, 2015 at 9:50 am

    It is all good. Public that are still in will be questioned about the documentary will have no real answers as they didn’t see it. When they begin hearing about how many people are now interested in scientology and see the parking lots still empty.

    I believe the mystery will be too much and they will secretly take a peek at the film.

    With hbo getting such high ratings, others will want to jump on that bandwagon.

    Reply
  41. DangDang says

    April 1, 2015 at 8:56 am

    Mike, how high is the ratio of international Sea Org members vs. American Sea Org members at INT? 50:50?

    I remember many foreigners in Scientology, mainly Europeans. ID Int, Karen Pouw came from France, how about the others?

    Reply
  42. Shelley says

    April 1, 2015 at 8:34 am

    This is precisely what happens when one dwells in a bubble and arrogantly tries to upset the apple-cart in the REAL world. You end up looking and sounding like a real twit.

    Reply
  43. statpush says

    April 1, 2015 at 8:34 am

    I can see DM boasting about how influential the church is and how Twitter is now forwarding the church’s own message. Standing ovation, hip-hip-hooray, suppressed shit-eating grin from DM as he attempts to calm the crowd down. Of course he will omit the church PAID Twitter to do it. Minor detail.

    Here is something you can take to the bank:

    If the church is actively promoting any kind of social media (e.g. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.), realize they are seeking to subvert the activity. Anything which offers free, unrestricted communication and broad, sweeping distribution is HATED by the church. They only pretend to embrace such things to appear “hip” or “modern” or “at the vanguard of technology”, deep down they DESPISE anything related to the internet or social networks.

    If they are encouraging their members to sign-up to Twitter, it will be so they can track and monitor them. Just as they do with Facebook.

    Social networks like Facebook and Twitter are popular amongst social personalities. The church is NOT a social personality.

    Reply
    • threefeetback says

      April 1, 2015 at 11:23 am

      Expect Dave to announce that his Media Center will soon be boradcasting with its Ham Radio, during nighttime hours, under the handle “Radio Free Bubbleheads”.

      Reply
      • Newcomer says

        April 1, 2015 at 2:55 pm

        And the rest of the defrocked apostates will simply refer to it as Hampsterland.

        Reply
      • LDW says

        April 1, 2015 at 6:00 pm

        Watch your telex machine for that important announcement and then mail copies to all your selectees.

        Reply
        • Michael Mallen says

          April 1, 2015 at 9:39 pm

          It needs to go to mimeo first.

          Reply
    • Doug Parent says

      April 1, 2015 at 12:22 pm

      “The church is NOT a social personality.” Agreed. Any “church” that threatens to withdraw ones “eternity” if they pursue an issue or objection any further is not a social entity, it’s a cult. The line that was thrown around back in the 80’s “it’s YOUR church” couldn’t be more false. It’s Miscaviges sandbox and despite idea’s to the contrary, he DOES decide which policies are followed and when ones are neglected.

      Reply
      • Robert Almblad says

        April 1, 2015 at 6:23 pm

        Stat Push made a great point about them not being a social personality and I might add to Doug Parent’s point “(DM) DOES decide which policies are followed and when ones are neglected.” and, which ones are altered.

        Reply
  44. visitor says

    April 1, 2015 at 8:23 am

    $cientology fails and the lies of Miscavige are the ONLY stats in $cientology that show 47X expansion.

    Reply
  45. McCarran says

    April 1, 2015 at 8:20 am

    Wow! and I was JOKING when I mocked up Regraded Being’s next cartoon as “Sir! We have millions wanting to know about Scientology. It’s like Super Bowl Sunday!” and that is what the church of david miscavige is, in fact, doing!? What an utter joke they have become.

    Reply
    • jrfool says

      April 1, 2015 at 10:55 am

      Ah… the last three words of the post reads as: April Fools you’all.

      It is a USA custom to prank friends on April 1 of each year. I was also joking.

      Reply
  46. Visitor says

    April 1, 2015 at 8:16 am

    Oh my!

    Reply
  47. jrfool says

    April 1, 2015 at 8:10 am

    Rumor I hear from inside is that OSA is preparing a form letter for the entire list of HBO subscribers who watched the Documentary and all of those who streamed the Documentary. OSA is still running face recognition programs to identify everyone going to the theater showings in Utah and elsewhere. OSA is also gathering up a list of the entire web community of bloggers, tweeters, facebookers, and anonymousers throughout the world.

    Once the list is completed and and approved by COB then the cherch will issue some 60 million Goldenrod SP Declares to the above individuals. This blow to the enemies of the cherch will clear the future of all counter-intention for ages to come.

    One way or another the cherch is going to smash its image and memory onto all of mankind for years to come. April Fools you’all!

    Reply
    • Margaret says

      April 1, 2015 at 8:46 am

      The 60 million goldenrods made me laugh. 🙂 I saw the film in Utah and again in my sister’s living room. Just spell my name right on mine — that’s M-a-r-g-a-r…

      Reply
      • Nickname says

        April 1, 2015 at 1:09 pm

        OK. Thank you. Got that, Maraget. I promise you will have your declare within two business days. If you are not happy with it, just let us know. Btw, you do have to renew your declare on a semi-annual basis, at nominal cost, and keep us updated on your status, address, phone number, friends, employment, any new overt acts against the church you may have committed such a reading vile blogs, newspapers, watching TV, making phone calls to unauthorized terminals and so forth – strictly confidential for our internal religious purposes to keep our files up to date. We value you as a disconnected declared SP parishioner.

        Reply
    • NOLAGirl says

      April 1, 2015 at 9:20 am

      Well it’s about time. I’ve been waiting for an SP declare for ages. 🙂

      Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        April 1, 2015 at 5:42 pm

        Ok, ok…I’ll do it: NOLAGirl, i do hereby declare you to be one awesome individual! There! That wasn’t so bad was it?

        Reply
    • raindog says

      April 1, 2015 at 9:30 am

      Good work jrfool!

      This is an excellent example of how DM differs from LRH. LRH used to site research that was never done but DM is doing actual research because he is going to prove to his followers that Hubbard had it wrong on one point. And that point is that 98% of the population is Suppressive.

      Reply
      • jrfool says

        April 1, 2015 at 11:46 am

        Yep! The entire marching formation of humanity is out of step. Only Der-midget is in step.

        Reply
      • Friend says

        April 1, 2015 at 12:38 pm

        You have to check that again .. there is lower than 1% of the popolution really informed about scientology .. you can only expect that 98% of the old timers are suppressive .. which is maybe true, but then has LRH only learned his tech from suppressives ..

        Reply
    • Newcomer says

      April 1, 2015 at 9:50 am

      It will be nice to finally get a copy!

      Reply
  48. thegman77 says

    April 1, 2015 at 8:08 am

    Mike, I read that last word – FAIL – and simply burst out laughing. This morning’s story is another chapter in scio’s total lack of understanding of “actual” technology, the internet. And their lying then becomes another self inflicted foot bullet.

    Reply
  49. Tommy J says

    April 1, 2015 at 8:00 am

    So where is “imaginary friends” on the Tone Scale?

    Reply
    • Old Surfer Dude says

      April 1, 2015 at 10:41 am

      Hey, I’m one of those “imaginary friends,” Tommy. I’m imagining the world WITHOUT scientology…

      Reply
      • Tommy J says

        April 1, 2015 at 1:40 pm

        OSD, now THAT is straight up and vertical!!!!

        Reply
      • Old Surfer Dude says

        April 1, 2015 at 5:39 pm

        And…out of this world. Literally! With the reaction to Going Clear all over the country decidedly against the cult, hard times are a comin’ for them. No body knows the troubles I’ve seen….

        Reply
  50. whostolemycog says

    April 1, 2015 at 8:00 am

    Solid reporting…thanks.

    Reply
  51. GTBO says

    April 1, 2015 at 7:56 am

    Whales are rapidly becoming an endangered species in RCo$. They have gotten rid of the best people they ever had. Declares are the only upstat they have (apart from lies told).
    Desperation to save the remaining “flock” is really beginning to show.
    You do not have to be a proctologist to be able to see what is running the RCo$.

    Reply
  52. shelgold says

    April 1, 2015 at 7:54 am

    Amazing how everything is always so over-the-top incredible. DM says in the film that 2013 was the year they went “stratospheric” – can only imagine how 2014, 2015, etc will be described.

    Alex Gibney said it concisely and perfectly in an interview the other day:

    “The church claims it is innocent of all misdeeds. How credible does that sound?”

    Their PR area control is supposed to be such that no one would dream of attacking it. Well, they have some work to do in that area.

    Reply
    • Newcomer says

      April 1, 2015 at 9:49 am

      ” no one would dream of attacking it.”

      I think Sheldon that is has gone from dreaming into action. Nowadays folks ‘just do it’!

      Reply
    • TrevAnon says

      April 1, 2015 at 1:30 pm

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atmosphere_of_Earth

      2014: Mesospheric
      2015: Thermospheric
      2016: Exospheric
      2017: Out of this world
      ?

      🙂

      Reply
      • Lurr Kurr says

        April 1, 2015 at 5:08 pm

        2018: in jail, widdout da bail.

        Reply
  53. Richard Grant (@richardgrant) says

    April 1, 2015 at 7:48 am

    Great stuff, Mike. I wonder if anybody has written an algorithm that will sift through a Twitter feed and estimate the proportion of people who follow the account just to mock it.

    This wouldn’t tell us anything about people who just read the stream without responding. But I’d guess that among responses I’ve seen to @FreedomMedia tweets, the ratio of “anti” to “pro” must be easily 50:1.

    Reply
    • The Dark Avenger says

      April 1, 2015 at 1:14 pm

      According to one report I read, some people created satirical accounts on Twitter to mock the Freedom Media Ethics account that was set up. In terms of pulling it in with regard to the J&D, CoS has become a black hole of lulz, as the kids say these days.

      Reply
  54. Robert Almblad says

    April 1, 2015 at 7:41 am

    Your spin prediction machine is working perfectly: Boy, did you call it yesterday Mike… you must have had a fly on the wall in Miscavige’s office.

    Reply
    • McCarran says

      April 1, 2015 at 8:50 am

      It was an Ant on the wall, Robert, not a fly. 😉

      Reply
      • cindy says

        April 1, 2015 at 2:32 pm

        Good one McCarran! I spit my tea.

        Reply
      • violetskyye says

        April 1, 2015 at 3:52 pm

        Haha. I wanted to make that giant ant speaking in Mike’s voice my screensaver.

        Reply
    • Newcomer says

      April 1, 2015 at 9:45 am

      I think it is more like ‘been there, done that’ for Mike and company. Besides, who needs a fly when you can escape the cult and gain huge new OT Powerz (of observation).

      Reply

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Troublemaker - Leah Remini
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Abuse at the Top - Amy Scobee
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