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The Metrics: Global BS

March 4, 2020 By Mike Rinder 37 Comments

This is a recent tweet from Freedom magazine.

The level of bald-faced lies is breathtaking. 1.5 million volunteers? Where? I can only assume they now count everyone in the Red Cross wordlwide because a Volunteer Minister in Manila had a photo taken with the local Red Cross coordinator. Scientology could hardly scrape together 1.5 million BT’s if they rounded up their 6500 OT’s and had them pool their resources.

This is simply absurd. And apparently they say it with a straight face.

Seeing this, I just had to click on their link to “get the story.”

So, here is their “proof”

As you can see — just more generalizations here, but they add the detail that its “eight global humanitarian initiatives” to make it sound like it has some substance…

So, let’s proceed to check out “The Metrics”.

First up, the Volunteer Ministers.

“Thousands” is the best they can do here. But they have never promoted any evidence that showed more than a “handful” of VM’s, though they spare no expense to ensure their “good works” are video’d.

Of course, you cannot find a gallery of media reporting on the great work of the largest independent relief force (independent of who? certainly not independent of scientology?). Scientology explains this as just being the merchants of chaos spinning their web of lies — but you can find thousands of articles and tv footage of the Red Cross or Doctors Without Borders or even the Salvation Army (they are not “independent”?):

Perhaps there are teachers using Study Technology (guarantee you they could not produce teachers from 69 countries, though they might be able to dig up scientologists or people who have read Dianetics in 69 countries) — but this is a meaningless statement that proves nothing about 1.5 million volunteers.

There are more teachers that use ABC Mouse from the company owned by scientologists. ABC Mouse is far more popular than “study tech”?

Then one of their favorites. 34 million “told the truth about drugs” — and this is based on the number of copies of the truth about drugs booklets printed. They churn those things out and most of them end up in trash bins outside the Super Bowl venue.

But over 20 years they have probably printed that many of those booklets. They do not even mention the number of volunteers involved. I doubt we have even reached 1,000 so far.

Just as a note. Why no name for the NY State Senator? No doubt he or she has no idea their endorsement of this front group is being used to promote scientology.

This next one is an old trick. Scientology claims 11,000 churches, missions, groups and affiliated organizations. There are in fact less than 1,000 worldwide, but if you fudge it with “affiliated organizations” you can start counting lemonade stands set up by the children of church staff in front of their house.

Same here — this figure is supposed to give the impression there are 95,000 governments and legitimate organizations working “in partnership” with scientology. They could not provide a list of 20 governments working with scientology.

6.6 million people helped.

Nothing to substantiate this at all. Just a picture of some prisoners in Latin America.

And the next one is more of the same — fudging the definition to make it seems like there are churches and missions of scientology in 210 countries. There are large swaths of the Mid-East Asia and Africa that have no scientology churches or missions. There is no org or mission in China, the most populous nation on earth. There is no org and a solitary mission in India, the second most populous nation on earth. No orgs in any Asian nation other than Taiwan and Japan. None in the Mid-East apart from Israel. None in Africa other than South Africa and Zimbabwe. No org in Brazil. Nothing in Central America or the Caribbean other than Mexico.

Outside of the West, scientology has no foothold in the world at all. And it is shrinking fast where it does exist.

But they HAVE purchased real estate. And boy are they proud of it and convinced this proves their “unprecedented growth.”

These buildings are empty. They are a hedge against the IRS accusing them of accumulating too much cash. They do not serve a growing demand for scientology, only a growing appetite to have more showy buildings to use to claim “unprecedented expansion.”

And finally, scientology touts the number of copies of the NON-RELIGIOUS pamphlet written by Hubbard as proof that the church of scientology has 1.5 million volunteers around the world.

And if that makes sense to anyone, you are a candidate to become a scientologist.

 

 

This is an exercise in wispy smoke and tiny, cracked mirrors telling the “big lie” in the hope it will be bought without inspection.

I doubt many people these days take anything scientology says at face value.

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Filed Under: Public Relations, Scientology Tagged With: Freedom Magazine, Ideal Orgs, real estate, social betterment, study tech, study technology, truth about drugs, TWTH, volunteer ministers, way to happiness

Comments

  1. scicrit says

    March 5, 2020 at 1:32 pm

    Here in the UK, Scientology courses in Hubbard’s ‘study tech’ are misleadingly presented as qualifications to justify charging £30+ an hour for the private tuition of kids.

    This ‘applied scholastics’ operation may be what keeps the Plymouth Org viable https://plymouthprivatetutorsinfo.wordpress.com/

    It’s typical of Scientology that what is presented as ‘social improvement’ makes them money.

    Reply
  2. nomnom says

    March 4, 2020 at 11:50 pm

    Whatever happened to Hubbard’s policy, “Don’t use lies in PR.”?

    Reply
    • Wynski says

      March 5, 2020 at 1:19 pm

      nomnom, that policy is overridden by Hubtard’s confidential policies saying to lie in PR.

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        March 5, 2020 at 10:01 pm

        I’d LOVE to read those, Wyn. Oooh, would I ever love to read those. Are they confidential “Advices” for select Sea Org eyes only? Hopefully some Bitter Defrocked type has leaked them by now 🙂 You know, when I was in, I used to READ lots of HCOPLs even though I wasn’t ever staff or (God forbid) SO. I would read them because I actually enjoyed reading them back then. (Incredible as it sounds, I know. But I would not make this up.) I would read the PR Series, the Marketing Series, the Esto Series… Very well do I know that datum of Hubbard’s about not ever lying in PR! But apparently, that’s just for Little Us? The Big Beings can lie their asses off and that’s fine?

        Reply
        • Wynski says

          March 6, 2020 at 11:26 am

          Aqua, they are issued for OSA. Mike has posted some of them here. The ones about telling lies about “SPs” so they will be made to look crazy, criminal, et al.

          Reply
          • Aquamarine says

            March 6, 2020 at 5:26 pm

            Thanks, Wyn. Amazing that I missed these. I’ll search back and dig them up.

            Reply
  3. Mark Fladd says

    March 4, 2020 at 11:44 pm

    Hello Mike, I wonder if you are aware of any specific cases in which CoS either voluntarily or for profit, provided confessional data to the authorities?

    The case in which I came on Leah Remini and the Aftermath, I have a strong feeling that my case was handed over to the authorities, DoJ or otherwise. All my issues came after they made me sign a paper of all the drugs that I did during the purif, with a signature, as in admissible in court. Is the Church of Scientology profiting from confessionals?! (Like a sort of quid pro quo, like have the IRS turn its head a bit further?)

    I would love to find out the Truth about Scientology’s ad infinitum folders on its parishioners.

    Reply
    • nomnom says

      March 4, 2020 at 11:53 pm

      When the “Truth Rundown” expose came out (Tampa Bay Times), the cult providers binders full of PC folder data to the editors to try and destroy the credibility of the whistle blowers.

      They freely admitted that it was PC folder/confessional materiel.

      Reply
  4. Kronomex says

    March 4, 2020 at 8:55 pm

    P. R. – Puerile Rubbish or Pathetic cRap.

    Reply
  5. jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

    March 4, 2020 at 7:36 pm

    If they told any portion of the truth, it would be a big-time embarrassment, but couldn’t hurt their growth numbers any. All it does is create cognitive dissonance in a few of their more knowledgeable members who eventually will go UTR and drift away.

    Reply
    • jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

      March 4, 2020 at 7:46 pm

      I don’t REALLY want to give them any good ideas through the OSA trolls keeping tabs on this site, but I’m fairly certain if the scrapped the big, really big, STUPENDOUS lies and told the ACTUAL truth, it might LOOK like a shrinking away for a short bit, but losing the dissonance between the truth and the many “acceptable truths”(a/k/a LIES) would help them rebuild, perhaps even get stronger than they’ve ever been.
      HARDLY. Tubby built his whole ’empire’ on lies piled upon lies, with MORE lies all the way down to any bedrock that might have existed.

      Reply
  6. Jethro Bodine says

    March 4, 2020 at 7:00 pm

    I never understood why scientology thinks passing out “The Way to Happiness” booklets are the best way to do deal with a flood or earthquake disaster. Can they be used as toilet paper?

    Reply
  7. Mark says

    March 4, 2020 at 6:54 pm

    Scientology is welcome to have my BT’s, to increase their numbers.

    Reply
  8. Aquamarine says

    March 4, 2020 at 6:50 pm

    Apparently there are people who will believe anything provided it issues from what has been pre-decidedly accepted as a source of reliable and truthful information.
    Its interesting to observe because the acceptance is quite automatic, there’s no fact checking involved, and while they’re running this automaticity with regard to total belief, they are at the same time automatically DISbelieving anything emanating from what they have pre-determined are UNreliable sources.

    I know a number of people who operate this way. They’ll believe anything and Tl disbelieve anything, and I do mean “anything”. Facts, evidence, videos, tapes, etc., proving or disproving, be damned. WHO said it? That’s all that matters.

    Kind of scary that there are people like this. But they’re out there. Lots of them, apparently.

    Reply
  9. Dotey OT says

    March 4, 2020 at 6:32 pm

    Another lovely bit of PR for those smiling faces still in ronnie’s world. I think they’re coming up on the next big event, where the smiling faces get to do squats/applause sets as directed by the mighty midget aerobics instructor. Then the mighty midget goes home and does his best Tom Cruise tighty whitey dance to “We Scammed All”.

    Dang, rascally period, told it to stay inside the quotes!

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      March 5, 2020 at 10:04 pm

      “…ronnie’s world.” That’s cute.

      Reply
  10. Aquamarine says

    March 4, 2020 at 6:22 pm

    What “New York State Senator” praised Foundation For A Drug Free World so glowingly? Why can’t, or won’t, the cult give his or her name?

    Reply
    • Britt Backman says

      March 4, 2020 at 8:49 pm

      Hopefully the original quote is more like this:
      “Originally, when they first contacted us and expressed interest in assisting, we were curious. This group presented itself with the following biographical resume, which is understandably enticing.
      “The Foundation for a Drug-Free World has empowered countless children, youth and adults to make informed decisions and live drug free. In the Drug-Free World we have an organization worthy of our highest trust and esteem.”
      We have since done our research and understand this is a nefarious group. We will not be endorsing them in any way.”

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        March 5, 2020 at 10:06 pm

        Ah, yes, if only – if only, Britt!

        Reply
  11. mwesten says

    March 4, 2020 at 6:02 pm

    Still no news of any VMs helping out in Wuhan or elsewhere. Weird. You’d think a little thing like a coronavirus wouldn’t stop a high-powered, suppression-shattering, BT-free OT from handing out TWTH at a hospital or gently prodding some of the infected.

    Reply
    • jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

      March 4, 2020 at 7:09 pm

      The story is yet again a case of “scientologists lie, must lie, can’t not lie.

      All the numbers are bogus, having been pulled out of thin air to sound impressive to the rubes who won’t ever check the facts or otherwise compare scn’s claims to reality, OR anything approaching it. PART of the “problem” is that scn doesn’t bother even counting things like this, but just throws out numbers to whichDwarfenführer can say “Sounds good!” and NOT send them to the HOLE, or RPF — which he disbanded because inmates could and DID eventually get out of the gulags, per POLICY (which Davey-Boy can blithely ignore since he’s COB)

      Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      March 5, 2020 at 12:11 am

      Like Pope Francis, if Miscavige were living up to his PR he’d be visiting coronavirus victims.

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        March 5, 2020 at 12:18 am

        But then, THIS ecclesiastic leader of “the world’s fastest growing religion” never meets with or speaks in front of anyone except Scientologists. (And his lawyers.) Non Scientologists…Wogs…they’re just too scary for Tiny Fists. One of them might say something…or ask him a non-scripted question…oooohhh, scary…can’t have that. He’s terrified to meet and greet healthy non-Scientologists – can you imagine him visiting the sick? LOL!

        Reply
  12. Weather Watcher says

    March 4, 2020 at 5:39 pm

    The United Nations states there are 195 countries in the entire world. Scientology claims it is present in 210 countries and territories, whatever that’s supposed to mean. Appears to be claiming presence in every single country in the world, which is a total provable lie.

    Reply
  13. AnonyMaker says

    March 4, 2020 at 5:10 pm

    I hope the bogus claims of all those “volunteers” will be filed away by people in a position to show them to organizations that Scientology tries to co-opt, so their insidious motives and the way they try to exploit connections can be exposed. Plus of course it demonstrates they are liars who can’t be trusted to tell the truth about anything.

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      March 5, 2020 at 12:28 am

      Maybe we should, individually, start calling the M’orgs anonymously, asking for help. We could each say we heard great stuff about Scientology’s VM Program and how helpful their Volunteer Ministers are, etc. While on the phone we should each cough a lot and originate that we’re worried that what we at first thought was simple flu might be coronavirus. Cough A LOT and gulp water while we’re on the phone. Tell them we know there’s no cure yet for the coronavirus and we want touch assists and nerve assists – Scientology is our last and only hope. See what they say! Fun, huh? I’m LOLing already!

      Reply
  14. Take Em Down says

    March 4, 2020 at 1:10 pm

    Watched Dr. Oz yesterday, and he had a segment about Tony Alamo. Alamo started a cult, much like scientology, but he ultimately paid the price.

    Reply
  15. TrevAnon says

    March 4, 2020 at 1:05 pm

    Need 5 more exes to speak out and we’ll be at 3,000!

    https://whyweprotest.wikia.org/wiki/Former_Church_of_Scientology_members_who_have_spoken_out

    Reply
  16. Doug Sprinkke says

    March 4, 2020 at 12:41 pm

    My favorite quote regarding the volunteer ministers is “The first to respond and the last to leave”.

    Hubbard’s fascination with PR is evident in the Mission Earth series. Remember the character J. Walter Madison?

    Reply
    • jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

      March 4, 2020 at 7:23 pm

      Doug opined:
      “My favorite quote regarding the volunteer ministers is “The first to respond and the last to leave”.”

      First they “respond” (verbally) with “We need MONEY and VM’s”, and related chatter;
      after the REAL humanitarian relief organizations, such as the International Red Cross. have been on the ground for a few WEEKS, the VMs will finally “leave” on their trip TO the affected area – with no supplies, not even those needed for their own support, other what they carry on in their hands. They’re the “last to leave” like that because they depend upon the REAL organizations’ infrastructure to live in the affected areas. Instead of helping people in need, they consume vitally needed supplies. LEECHES!

      Reply
  17. Old Surfer Dude says

    March 4, 2020 at 12:37 pm

    “This is simply absurd”. Mike Rinder

    And that’s what Scientology is, absurd! Everything about it is absurd!

    Dare I say it? Hubbard was absurd! He just made things up!

    Reply
    • jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

      March 4, 2020 at 7:25 pm

      BINGO, OSD!

      Reply
  18. Zee Moo says

    March 4, 2020 at 11:35 am

    All I see are lots of meaningless numbers that are meant to dull my mind. All I see is a PR firm that has no conscience or ability to tell the truth.

    If I want my mind dulled, I’ll watch videos of the US Congress.

    Reply
    • jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

      March 4, 2020 at 7:31 pm

      Zee, if they KNEW the truth, they could lie about it. As it is, they can only parrot the “acceptable truth” as given to them by their lord and master(s). Since they don’t know any different, they can quote the numbers confidently, without the “tells” lying would occasion.
      And the numbers ARE meaningless, PURE fiction, intended to distract attention away from the obvious.

      Reply
  19. PickAnotherID says

    March 4, 2020 at 11:19 am

    It’s enough to make you wonder if the FTC’s enforcement of “Truth In Advertising” laws also applies to $cientology’s over the top claims?

    Reply
    • jere Lull (39 years recovering) says

      March 4, 2020 at 7:33 pm

      of COURSE the FTC regulations don’t apply! they’re protected by their (false) claim to be a church.

      Reply
  20. Glenn says

    March 4, 2020 at 10:58 am

    Thanks Mike. Spot on as always.

    The only stat or number that tops all those the cult claims is the number of lies they tell. Truly sickening.

    Reply

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