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Thursday Funnies

September 9, 2021 By Mike Rinder 46 Comments

 

Not as many Thursday Funnies this week. If you come across something that might belong here, please ensure you forward it to me. If you don’t have my email leave a comment saying you have something for Thursday Funnies and I will reach out to you.

 

An Ideal Universe

Not content with an ideal org. Or even a country. Or Planet. Or Galaxy. She is really “thinking big”…

She is sure that by giving some money to buy a new building for this always pathetic and failing org in Brisbane she is “making a difference.”

The delusion is strong….


 

For some reason…

They’ll gladly take your money, but they won’t let you stay on the base.

And I hate to tell you, but you will also NOT be doing the services you paid for and think you are going to Flag for.

This is not a Funny. This is a Thursday Bait and Switch.

 

You can suck your family into the vortex too…

How sad this is.

 

So many people…

You can bet Kansas Org is bursting at the seams after this fantabulous event.

You can be sure that if they actually had anything to say about how many books they sold or people they got started on their first course they would say so.

Best guess: 0

 

It’s so easy…

If they have mastered the technology of dissemination, how come nobody has heard of them and the org is empty?

This one probably deserves its own post…

So much to unpack here.

“The Kingdom”? “The Place in Heaven”?

Why are people from Greece and Canada going to South Africa? Denmark is much closer to Greece and part of the EU. AOLA is much closer to Canada (that Canada AO building that was going to open real soon a decade ago is sitting empty still).

Being on service at AOSH Africa is “helping create the next great civilization on earth.” Ron said it, so it must be true no matter what you might observe for yourself.

 

 

This guy sure is prolific…

And idiotic.

Surely this sort of promotion shouts, even to a sheeple in the bubble, “Michael Lewis is a total amateur.”

 

 

Elderly Unite

The art of being an artful dodger.

All is good, now she has fun playing and laughing with these guys. Gee, I thought this was a deadly serious activity and the very future of every man, woman and child on earth depended on what they did here and now in scientology?

 

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: AOSH Africa, Brisbane Org, Claudio Caligiuri, Deniz Caligiuri, Flag, Kansas City, Linda Neal, Malmo Org, Michael Lewis, Star Blessyng, Valley ideal org, Valley OTC

Comments

  1. Joe says

    September 15, 2021 at 3:42 am

    I live in Brisbane, Australia and have been fascinated by Scientology for ages. I know they’ve been trying to build an Ideal Org in Brisbane. They had a building in mind but luckily were gazumped. I know this because I drove by it and apartments were being built. Apparently they’ve got their eye on another piece of land. The mission in the CBD looks tiny and rundown. I doubt there are many members and hopefully it’s shrinking. Keep up the good fight Mike, I love the podcast.

    Reply
    • FarmerJ says

      August 9, 2022 at 12:37 pm

      Hi Joe, I have been trying hard for some time to ID the new land plot purchased by the Brisbane Building Fund after they sold the Warry St address. Any idea where it is?

      Also Mike pretty sure Star Serafinya Blessyng from Brissy is out now or at least in trouble for squirrelling.

      Reply
      • Joe says

        August 9, 2022 at 4:01 pm

        I was under the impression they were looking at 337 Logan Rd, Greenslopes, this is the last I heard.

        Reply
        • FarmerJ says

          August 9, 2022 at 6:11 pm

          Thanks a lot! Brissy is small for sure but there’s a tonne of low-level Scientologists on the far north coast, especially around Lismore (more hippy dippy and indigenous – all from a few Bundjalung families at Gundarimba) and the granite belt (older Inter generational group) that prop it up. The OT8s in Coffs are there regularly now and 2 OT8s just moved from Sydney to Yamba and are relentless disseminators/fund raisers – both have loads of cash to burn. Almost all money is still coming from Syd/Melbs though. Will head up in a few weekends and check it out. Thanks again.

          Reply
          • Joe says

            August 9, 2022 at 7:39 pm

            That’s interesting, I heard most of the money from Brissy comes from Sydney. If you Google the Brisbane Building Fund you can find the tax filings. They currently have 5 million.

            I was wondering who goes to the Brisbane org, the census is proof that no one is joining.

            The org put an ad on Facebook for the efficiency course, most people either asked how it appeared in their feed or trolled them, asking about Shelly.

            I assume most scientologists are at the Advanced Org

            I’m surprised there are any OT8s in Oz

            Reply
            • FarmerJ says

              August 9, 2022 at 9:31 pm

              Most money definitely comes from Sydney, from the same old faces. Some from Melbourne and there’s a couple of Perth donors who always seem reliable. Not a lot of locals go to the Org, but the lower level courses are way cheaper there than aosh anzo. Heaps of the lower level plebs do events and small fundraising gatherings and do not follow the Scientology social media feeds. Course announcements go out via email usually. Or relentless phone calls. I doubt there were any high level auditors reliably there until recently. Years ago there was a lot of field auditing that went on under Cherie and Wendy. We’ve definitely got our share of OT8s…really quite a few (as far as Scientology math goes). Census numbers are stable but the bitter-enders are not flinching, and they’re moving their kids and grandkids up (across?) the bridge for the most part (lots of dilettantes but seemingly passionate cultural Scientologists).

              Reply
              • Joe says

                August 10, 2022 at 6:45 am

                Thanks for all that info, I find it fascinating. I’m too scared to go into the org and see what happens

  2. PeaceMaker says

    September 10, 2021 at 9:37 am

    Kansas City is the org so reliant on Sea Org staffing that they tried to buy a building for berthing, after they opened their ‘ideal’ facility. Apparently sea org were also used to staff up Cincinatti for its ‘opening’ as well.

    It seems to be some sort of experiment – probably driven by increasing difficulty recruiting to meet the staff quotas the “ideal” orgs are supposed to have. Unfortunately we don’t seem to have much in the way of reports of what’s really going on at those orgs, other than that the financial and credit card abuses got so bad and so blatant in Cincinatti, that the longtime ED got sent to the RPF.

    In Austin and Chicago the renovated buildings have been done for a while, and recruiting staff seems to be one of the sticking points delaying their opening. Presumably they’re going to end up having to rely a lot on Sea Org staffing at those orgs, too.

    Reply
  3. NewInternetUser says

    September 9, 2021 at 7:23 pm

    ***DANGER***

    I want to warn everyone here about a potential danger if you go to an Internet site that was published by Linda Neal.

    At the bottom of her message? advertisement? whatever you want to call it? there is an Email address that uses the site “SBCGlobal.net”.

    I thought that might be a place where I could get a free email account. So I tried to visit that site and my Internet browser kinda went ballistic. It warned me that was a very dangerous site where people would try to steal my personal info and hack into my passwords.

    You might want to take a look at that site to see for yourself. I would be careful if you don’t have any kind of protection – such as Windows Defender or some Anti-Virus program. But if you just try to visit that site, you might want to see the warning messages your browser will display to warn you against going there.

    You won’t be taken directly to that site. The browser will give you the chance to back out before you actually go there. But maybe someone who is more sophisticated that I am might like to take a look and explain what the Heck is going on?

    Is it possible this cult has become even more dangerous than before?

    Be careful!

    Reply
    • Jere Lull says

      September 10, 2021 at 5:15 am

      I just tried to open the URL, and came up against a “server not found” message. That doesn’t seem to be an operation that is going to get any business online.

      Reply
    • Real says

      September 10, 2021 at 10:22 am

      No DANGER Newintenet. SBCGlobal.net is a domain that was used by Southwestern Bell before it was bought by another telco YEARS ago.

      Nothing nefarious. Just old, unused domain.

      Reply
  4. Kimo says

    September 9, 2021 at 5:10 pm

    Am I the only one who read “Caliguri” as “Caligula?” Somehow Roddy MacDowell keeps popping into my head.

    Uh…

    Reply
  5. kingRidiculous says

    September 9, 2021 at 4:48 pm

    “We don’t drive…” You want to be cause over MEST and you don’t drive?

    Reply
  6. bixntram says

    September 9, 2021 at 3:30 pm

    Ouch, what a gaffe! I made what I thought was a witticism about spelling the word ‘favorites’ – and got the spelling wrong! I’d delete the comment if I could, but I can’t, so I’ll just make this most abject apology. I’d hope to hold off doddering senility for a few more years, but that hope appears to be in vain. Oh, well; at least I can’t get sent to the (virtual) RPF.

    Reply
  7. Loosing my Religion says

    September 9, 2021 at 2:46 pm

    It’s Michael Lewis back with some of his funny and clownie promos?

    This guy is a dissemination machine.
    He has that inviting and engaging something like IT calling you from the curb drain.

    Reply
  8. Mary Kahn says

    September 9, 2021 at 2:15 pm

    I give Linda Neal til her first fundraiser to wanna hit herself for not listening to her intuition. Things will not get better for her as an OTC member.

    Reply
  9. Mark says

    September 9, 2021 at 11:54 am

    Don’t waste this brief-OR long-breath of modernity on the aged turds of El Bong Flubbard…
    Work hard at living and learning and loving and being curious…You know, those same inclinations and activities that scienbollocky suppresses, twists, pollutes, and/or kills.

    The clipped “event” photos from various orgs that show a half dozen to a dozen people in attendance underscore the massive, dramatic…contraction of the cult…
    May that trend accelerate!

    Carry on, you Macallan-soaked, Machiavellian, Malignant Muppet!
    To Hell…and Beyond, Fleet Admiral David McRavage!

    Reply
    • Newcomer says

      September 9, 2021 at 2:58 pm

      Hello Mark.

      I want to tell you that I think you are one of the best posters here and I do not mean any offense in what I’m about to say to you.

      Lately, I’ve been wondering about the value of taking pot shots at El Con Man. I have certainly done it many times myself. But the turkey is dead and gone and it seems to me that no one will be joining this cult or signing up for courses or services or donations based on their high regard for that greedy SOB crook.

      As time goes by, there are less and less people who will even recognize his name anymore and that seems like a very good thing to me. I will be happy on the day when his name has been long gone and forgotten.

      From now on, I think that whenever I want to make some remarks about how much evil that bastard has done, I will instead make my remarks about the Evil Dwarf.

      I’m certainly not complaining about your posts. I always stop to read what you have to say.

      I suppose I’m asking for your opinion. Is it really worth wasting the time and energy to write anything about the original con man? If not, can you suggest a better alternative that will warn people who may be thinking of joining this cult and especially thinking about donating any money to this horror show?

      Reply
      • Mark says

        September 10, 2021 at 8:03 am

        Hey Newcomer,
        Let’s take pot shots at both scumbags: the current pimping homunculus and the OG sociopath !
        I think you make a good point. Nonetheless,for that random lurker whose mind may still occupy the theta anal cavity of Flubtard, posting alternating bits of J&D and hard facts just might loosen the grip of El Con’s sphincter on his/her dignity and common sense…
        In the meanwhile, I’d like to thank Fleet Admiral Bitchslap Macallan for his ongoing, dedicated committment to running scientology into the ground.
        Bubba sends his greetings, and is excitedly planning a special cult leader “Orange Panty Night” in cellblock 47!

        Reply
  10. Dotey OT says

    September 9, 2021 at 11:46 am

    I am reminded of what life was like while being in, and how sweet it is to be out!

    We had to observe such holidays as the birthday, May 9, etc., ugh!! What madness!!

    We need a holiday to observe for everyone that’s out and free!!

    Reply
    • Jere Lull says

      September 9, 2021 at 9:08 pm

      Right, Dotey. These days, having a good bowel movement causes me better and longer-lasting feelings than that enterprise ever did. – – WITHOUT being drained of every cent and every last erg of energy I could generate. MY celebration days started in August 1980. 41 years have passed, and I’m still counting each year about when I get around to thinking about the worst years of my life. My vote for a “date” is August 15, sorta randomly picked, though: Wasn’t that about the time of “S.OL. Day? I meant to write “SO Day”, but my fumbly fingers chose SOL, which is kinda, sorta more correct.

      Reply
  11. grisianfarce says

    September 9, 2021 at 11:11 am

    “LRH long envisioned an OT Base in Southern Africa”
    yes, and Rhodesia kicked him out

    Reply
    • Jere Lull says

      September 9, 2021 at 9:15 pm

      He was kicked out for being a bad neighbor. The guy’s social skills weren’t any better than his ability to properly maintain that body. Rhodesia was the first country to accurately peg his attitude and properly act for the good of its citizens by telling him he was no longer welcome to stay. He was too bigoted for even the apartheid government of the time.

      Reply
  12. Joe Pendleton says

    September 9, 2021 at 11:07 am

    And don’t forget folks … It’s a TECHNOLOGY!!!!!!!

    Reply
    • Jere Lull says

      September 9, 2021 at 9:16 pm

      A “technology” marked by its supreme unworkability.

      Reply
  13. Joe Pendleton says

    September 9, 2021 at 11:06 am

    The Caliguiris … The family that pays together, stays together …

    Reply
  14. Zee Moo says

    September 9, 2021 at 10:40 am

    Linda Neil must have had the riot act read to her. Her story looks like some ‘come to Jesus’ moment. I bet she was assigned a lot of time in Central Files too.

    Reply
    • Jere Lull says

      September 9, 2021 at 9:21 pm

      Zee, you make that sound like a BAD thing…! *MY* CF was a place of quiet meditation and repose. where you could rest, relax, and allow the stress of the workweek or study-week to wash away.

      Reply
  15. bixntram says

    September 9, 2021 at 10:25 am

    “Favourites”. Well, okay; British spelling has that ‘u’ that American spelling omits. But the added ‘i’? Is this some hifalutin French mot de cuisine I’m not familiar with?

    Reply
    • Jere Lull says

      September 9, 2021 at 9:22 pm

      Bixntram, you might be confusing Flavourites in there, somewhere with favourites/favorites.

      Reply
  16. Bixntram says

    September 9, 2021 at 10:15 am

    “but they won’t let you stay on the base.”
    It must be full up, no vacancy. Best to go off-season when the tourists are gone and rates drop a bit; that’s the smart ticket.

    Reply
    • Jere Lull says

      September 9, 2021 at 9:25 pm

      the “smart ticket” is to go to CW in the off-off-season when it’s cheapest and most deserted, then stay FAR away from the scns. That’ll conserve both your money AND your sanity.

      Reply
  17. StefCLO says

    September 9, 2021 at 10:05 am

    The first one at the top. It looks like she filled out a doubt condition as her success story. Reading this as an “out and done” former Scientologist – it’s so delusional. Thx for sharing Mike

    Reply
  18. Stefan says

    September 9, 2021 at 9:51 am

    Re Linda Neal it says on OT 7 under her pic and On OT 8 under her signature. This creates a sort of a dichotomy in me and I just feel the effect of her shatter my suppression..;-)

    Reply
    • Joe Pendleton says

      September 9, 2021 at 11:02 am

      She’s probably on OT 7.5 … It’s available only to OT Committee members … (On 7.5, you do the new solo dissem drill every morning before you hit the cans) … After you handle your own black PR by repeating to yourself 25 times “it’s the psychs, it’s the psychs”, you find your daily ruin and convince yourself it will be handled on OT7 … But if it isn’t, then it will be handled on OT8 … ok, but for sure on 9 …

      Reply
    • Double OT VIII Expanded says

      September 9, 2021 at 12:48 pm

      I noticed that as well. The real reason she joined the OT Committee is she was required to to complete OT VIII.

      It just isn’t acceptable to get accepted on the ship without being a member of an OT Committee or even to complete OT VII for that matter.

      Reply
    • Jere Lull says

      September 9, 2021 at 9:32 pm

      I guess OT VIII really can be quickly finished! In about the time it takes to chase her down to sign the “success” story™ More likely is that she completed that non-level before the story was published. How long does it take to read “All that ‘stuff’ you audited before was fake.” and wognate: “I been CONNED!”

      Reply
  19. otherles says

    September 9, 2021 at 9:40 am

    Jack Parsons used to believe a number of things that weren’t true. He used to believe that LRH was decent person.

    Reply
    • bixntram says

      September 9, 2021 at 10:28 am

      “Jack Parsons used to believe a number of things that weren’t true. He used to believe that LRH was decent person.”

      I think he learned. The hard way.

      Reply
      • Jere Lull says

        September 9, 2021 at 9:36 pm

        Did Parsons learn the “Hard way”? or was that his girlfriend?

        Reply
    • Karakorum says

      September 9, 2021 at 4:00 pm

      Well, Parsons was hardly a decent person.
      One thing we have to give Ron – he left the Thelema cult in amazing style. Taking the Guru’s main squeeze and his money too. We should let Ron have a ‘win’, at least for that. 😉

      Reply
      • Jere Lull says

        September 9, 2021 at 9:39 pm

        IIRC, Ron got upwards of 50,000 “wins” from Parsons over and above taking his girlfriend. I’m surprised Tummy let Parsons keep the house.

        Reply
  20. Glenn says

    September 9, 2021 at 8:39 am

    Can’t stay on the Base.
    Philip Park, ex GO and SO, wasn’t allowed to get a room “on the Base” because he has some blood pressure problem. This was LONG before the Pandemic so it seems the practice of making public stay in local hotels isn’t related.

    Reply
    • Mike Rinder says

      September 9, 2021 at 10:16 am

      NO, it was policy implemented following the Lisa McPherson debacle. Anyone who has a physical condition that could be fatal, or a mental condition that could be serious are not allowed to stay on the premises…

      Reply
      • Cindy says

        September 9, 2021 at 2:42 pm

        Right you are Mike.

        The Chaplain at Flag told me the same thing, that after Lisa Mc Pherson, they don’t let anyone stay on base if they have anything medical that could go south, such as high BP, epilepsy, heart trouble, mental condition etc. It even got so bad that the minute you arrived from the airport, before you’d get a room at the inn, they called the MLO in to take your BP and have you fill out a health questionnaire. I told them it was after midnight and I was tired and I’d fill out the form in the morning. They said no, do it right now right here because it will determine if you get a room here.

        Reply
        • Karakorum says

          September 9, 2021 at 4:02 pm

          Been there, done that.

          Reply

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