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Thursday Funnies

September 30, 2021 By Mike Rinder 30 Comments

Not a lot of funnies this week, but there are some good ones…

 

Does this entice you?

I don’t know what it is, but the look on her face scares me. Just a creepy shot.

 

All your questions?

How about “these volcanoes didn’t exist 75 million years ago?” or “how do you pack a thetan in frozen glycol when it has no physical presence?” or “If all my questions are answered, why do I need to bother with OT V or VII or VIII?”

 

 

How to get along with others…

Unless, of course, they are SP’s. Then there is nothing you can do. And this problem is getting bigger and bigger as more and more SPs are revealed.

Moshi is happening

One guy nearly completed the STCC…

(Moshi by the way is in Tanzania, it is mystery why anyone would pick this tiny place in remote Tanzania…)

 

 

I’ve got news for you

Just wait til you get to OT VII. You will be made aware that in fact you are cause over nothing yet. You have 10 more years of auditing BT’s before you will be able to claim how causative you are.

 

The IAS is on a roll in Malmo

Bringing Jeff Pomerantz out of mothballs. Michael Roberts cannot be far behind…

Take a stand for freedom

By giving us money to buy empty buildings.

 

 

Kiddie Corner

Hall of Shame

 

“Facts” about ECT

They’re sure to be 100% accurate….

But more to the point, bring your checkbook.

 

Wasted a year…

How does anyone afford this?

 

 

You should have blurred the numbers….

This is really awesome “expansion” they are all the way up to 30,000 student points.

Anyone who has ever been a student in a scientology course room knows that a full time student makes 5,000 points a day. You do the math.

 

Malmo on a roll

It’s a simple secret. But they still don’t know how to do it.

 

Brilliant Shoop

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Filed Under: Funnies Tagged With: AOSHAf, ECT, Ideal Orgs, Jeff Pomerantz, Kids, Malmo Org, Moshi, Sacramento, WISE

Comments

  1. NNGrad says

    October 2, 2021 at 12:54 pm

    About 3000 points

    Maybe a Married couple sign up for a basic course on tuesday, so they reach 4000 points to the first week, next week they could go but not even Friday and Monday but they did 10000 points, an ethics approach ensure that they study the whole next week and go for 18000 points for it, the fourth week just went there after skip Friday but because they were completion arrange to study the whole weekend and complete the course by tuesday and count the 2000+2000 plus by course completion achieve the 30k+ points.

    The real thing about that continue affluence reaching power is two people expending some few day and hours in that course room and because also being a completion of two simple basic courses.

    That’s the way they are creating a new civilization, but full of lies

    Reply
  2. PlanetshipT says

    September 30, 2021 at 9:30 pm

    The photos and news from the Clampire made me frown but the Jupiter impact (with what I can hear John McMaster calling a “Tubby” assteriod) gave me a much-needed belly laugh. I’m still grinning. 🙂

    Reply
  3. GL says

    September 30, 2021 at 5:58 pm

    The very childish “Something Enormous Just Slammed Into Jupiter” led me to check on it and the estimation is a 20 – 100 metre wide asteroid hit the planet. That throws Brad Bergan’s “could be the size of Earth” out the window for starters which only leaves one conclusion to me.

    Brad is correct, it was Tubby and he’s been looking for his great big flabby arse which had been stolen by a bunch of kinky thetans and it crashed into Jupiter as they tried to escape his decades long pursuit of the miscaviges…oops, I mean miscreants. A quick flash of heat turned it into roast rump and then it was vapour.

    Reply
  4. PeaceMaker says

    September 30, 2021 at 5:25 pm

    The supposed ECT picture reminds me of Lisa McPherson’s death photos. Scientology ends up doing the sort of things it accuses others of; and who knows how many other cases of psychosis, death and suicide there have been that were successfully covered up, swept under the rug or at least went under the radar.

    There were of course past abuses of ECT, and lobotomies (which from what I’ve read, had mostly ended by the time Hubbard started railing about them) – but science and medicine advance based on experience and evidence, and are subject to scrutiny, while Scientology is stuck with badly dated dogma and practices that were never properly based or researched to begin with, that it is doomed to repeat.

    Reply
  5. Chris Shugart says

    September 30, 2021 at 3:30 pm

    That first picture may only be revealing an unsavory side of my warped sense of humor, but honestly, the first thought that came to mind was “It’s Time. . . for your prostate exam.”

    Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      September 30, 2021 at 6:44 pm

      The time is now.

      Reply
  6. Bruce Ploetz says

    September 30, 2021 at 2:18 pm

    Another question for the curious.

    So far no human or human-related remains have been found older than about two million years ago. What did all those poor thetans do for 73 million years with no human bodies around to infest? Were they forced to infest wooly mammoths or lemurs? That still leaves at least 10 million years unaccounted-for. No wonder they are in such bad shape today. 10 million years infesting the body of fishes or single-celled algae would upset anybody.

    You could say that there were civilizations of humans that disappeared beneath the waves, like the famous Lemureans and Atlanteans of Blavatsky fame. But you would think there would be something left behind somewhere.

    Seems more likely that it’s all horse-shit all the way down.

    No Clears, no OTs
    No fake religion too
    Nothing to kill or die for
    Give all your money to
    Imagine all the people
    Connected with their families …

    (Apologies to John Lennon and Yoko Ono)

    Reply
    • Ms. B. Haven says

      September 30, 2021 at 6:28 pm

      Bruce, of course there were no homo saps (or any other hominids) to inhabit, but I believe that clams were here in abundance back then and were quite popular with the BT and BT Cluster crowd. Not sure when Plitdown Man stumbled on the scene. Oh, that’s right, no such creature ever existed even though we were assured he did in Hubbard’s sacred tome, The History of Man.

      Reply
    • Mark Kamran says

      October 1, 2021 at 7:28 am

      To give fake & Fraud a legit look, you have you have to make it impossible to validate it.

      That’s why 75 millions yeas ago, choosen , as human written history does not go beyond 5000 to 7000 years.

      He was fiction writer and later became fictitious writer.

      Reply
  7. Mark says

    September 30, 2021 at 1:35 pm

    Ah, yet another “berate-and-guilt-trip-folks-into-joining-staff” poster…The look on the model’s face-or is it a real staff member’s face?-says it all.
    The Glorious Intergallactic Hubbardian Slave Trade, pullin’ ‘ em in!
    The Pimping Pope needs fresh meat to berate, bitch-slap, degrade, denigrate, and grind into thetanic guk paste, ramen!
    Scienbollocks, the Absolute Worst of The Worst…

    Reply
  8. ISNOINews says

    September 30, 2021 at 12:18 pm

    Pam Bondi Replaces Corey Lewandowski at Helm of Trump Super PAC. (Relevant to Scientology.)

    ———————————————————-

    Bloomberg: Trump Replaces Lewandowski With Bondi at Helm of Super PAC

    https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2021-09-30/trump-replaces-lewandowski-with-bondi-at-helm-of-super-pac

    This is relevant to Scientology because in 2016 Bondi appeared at a human rights event at the Scientology Flag Land Base in Clearwater when she was the Attorney General of Florida:

    https://tonyortega.org/2016/09/04/florida-ag-pam-bondi-hosting-human-rights-event-at-human-rights-abuser-scientologys-hq/

    https://tonyortega.org/2016/10/04/pam-bondi-thrills-at-scientologys-mecca-hungarian-tv-bends-over-and-other-updates/

    And because in 2014 Bondi had a fundraiser hosted by Scientologists:

    https://tonyortega.org/2014/06/29/scientology-sunday-funnies-the-nancy-cartwright-freak-out-edition/

    Archived with a screenshot on ESMBR and WWP at:

    https://exscn2.net/threads/pam-bondi-replaces-corey-lewandowski-at-helm-of-trump-super-pac-relevant-to-scientology.4091/

    https://whyweprotest.net/threads/pam-bondi-replaces-corey-lewandowski-at-helm-of-trump-super-pac-relevant-to-scientology.137773/

    /

    Reply
  9. Jere Lull says

    September 30, 2021 at 11:51 am

    Oh, POOR little Isabella. Looks SO sweet, and already has been drawn into their lair … Or should I say “liar”?

    Reply
    • Peggy L says

      September 30, 2021 at 1:43 pm

      Kiddie Corner
      Hall of Shame

      Perfect header.

      That sweet innocent little child Isabella. Shame on her parents.

      Reply
      • Aquamarine says

        September 30, 2021 at 6:56 pm

        Yes, that sweet innocent little child Isabella; this lovely cult-child. Give her ten years and the “product” will be an uneducated, unemployable, empty-headed female robot ready, willing and able to believe and do whatever her cult tells her to believe and do including disconnecting without question upon command from anyone including her own parents.

        In other words, give her ten years and she’s the perfect Sea Org recruitee.

        Reply
    • Kimo says

      September 30, 2021 at 6:38 pm

      I only hope that she hasn’t had to decide whether to shudder or not about being passionately kissed by a much older man.

      Reply
      • Peggy L says

        October 1, 2021 at 8:37 am

        I do feel bad about saying shame on her parents because just from reading here, watching the aftermath etc. I don’t know their story. Maybe they were brought up in the cult and are so brainwashed they don’t realize this is a really bad idea. That doesn’t change the fact that little Isabella is in for a rough ride and I hope somehow her parents get themselves and her far away from this hateful harmful life. Let her be a little girl with nothing more to worry about than what’s for breakfast.

        Reply
  10. Zee Moo says

    September 30, 2021 at 11:39 am

    Why only ads for internal consumption? Nothing about actually getting new meat in the door.

    At least with candy coated Ebola, you get the candy coating.

    Reply
  11. SassMasterSupreme says

    September 30, 2021 at 10:45 am

    So many wasted lives and so much wasted potential. A lot of these ppl actually want to do good in the world and help others. But then they get sucked into this monstrosity and it kills every bit of humanity they had.

    Reply
    • Jere Lull says

      September 30, 2021 at 11:57 am

      Right, SassMasterSupreme. When I was in, all the staff I knew, even the part-time FSMs, were 100% dedicated to helping others. It wasn’t until we’d been doing it awhile that “helping them” might include convincing them that running up immense debt loads and having nothing for current expenses was “good”. I’m ashamed of any part I might have had in that.

      Reply
    • Aquamarine says

      September 30, 2021 at 7:06 pm

      Especially the ones born into it. I don’t have children but I like them and get along with them almost always. But the born in cult kids and teenagers were another story. I was polite and said the right things but avoided them whenever possible. When I was in, I found this Scientology demographic boring at best, and at worst, simply insufferable. Talk about growing up in a bubble! Just clueless, and constantly helicoptered over by their cult parents who frankly had an extreme overestimation of their cult kids’ limited talents.

      Reply
  12. otherles says

    September 30, 2021 at 10:30 am

    I have to groan.

    Reply
  13. ISNOINews says

    September 30, 2021 at 9:33 am

    Academic paper: “Rattle their doorknob and they collapse”: Propaganda strategies of the Church of Scientology

    Note: This Ph.D. Thesis discusses both Freedom Magazine and the STAND League.

    Date 2021-05
    Author Lonelodge, Sarah R.
    Ph.D.. Thesis, Oklahoma State University

    https://shareok.org/handle/11244/330883

    https://shareok.org/bitstream/handle/11244/330883/Lonelodge_okstate_0664D_17118.pdf?sequence=1&isAllowed=y

    https://shareok.org/bitstream/handle/11244/330883/Appendix%20A.pdf?sequence=2&isAllowed=y

    * * * * * BEGIN ABSTRACT * * * * *

    Abstract

    This project investigates two of the most prominent propaganda “arms” of the Church of Scientology (COS): Freedom Magazine and Scientologists Taking Action Against Discrimination (STAND). Both of these COS-run organizations function as seemingly altruistic groups that advocate for religious freedom and defend against discrimination, hate speech, bigotry, and more. However, when viewed as part of the context of the COS, including policies and purpose statements, both Freedom and STAND function as propaganda groups that attempt to legitimize Scientology among members and in the larger public. To ethically examine these groups, I present an in-depth analysis of the COS’s structure, purposes, policies, practices, beliefs, etc. With these contextual components outlined, I argue that ethical analyses of Scientology and similar organizations/groups must include such elements which I refer to as the systemized context. Further, I suggest that the COS employs social justice initiatives only as propaganda and that legitimacy tactics and propagandistic initiatives are likely effective for members of the COS as well as many individuals in the public. Based on my analyses of Freedom and STAND, I theorize two concepts important to the field of rhetoric. The first concept is mimetic propaganda, which I define as the outward or superficial mimicry of conventional genre features that creates, in propagandistic materials, a sense of reliability for audiences though the content is highly problematic. The second concept is divine ethos, which I define as a unique reverence for a group or organization’s leader that places this individual beyond reproach despite various forms of counterevidence or negative information. To illustrate these concepts and the necessity of systemized contexts in analytical frameworks, I discuss examples from within the COS and from outside organizations.

    * * * * * END ABSTRACT * * * * *

    Archived with a screenshot on ESMBR and WWP at:

    https://exscn2.net/threads/academic-paper-rattle-their-doorknob-and-they-collapse-propaganda-strategies-of-the-church-of-scientology.4089/

    https://whyweprotest.net/threads/ph-d-thesis-on-scientology-propaganda-strategies.137772/

    /

    Reply
    • ISNOINews says

      September 30, 2021 at 11:01 am

      Sarah Lonelodge’s academic page at East Carolina University.

      English Department

      Sarah Lonelodge
      Teaching Assistant Professor

      https://english.ecu.edu/people/faculty/sarah-lonelodge/

      * * * * * BEGIN EXCERPT * * * * *

      Sarah’s dissertation, “‘Rattle Their Doorknob and They Collapse’”: Propaganda Strategies of The Church of Scientology,” analyzes and theorizes propaganda strategies within two sub-organizations of the Church of Scientology–the STAND League and Freedom Magazine.

      * * * * * END EXCERPT * * * * *

      /

      Reply
    • unelectedfloofgoofer says

      October 1, 2021 at 2:00 am

      The abstract of that Phd thesis by Sarah Lonelodge gives a very good analysis of how the cult manipulates media to appear as a highly respectable institution above any criticism looking down on horribly degraded vermin.

      Makes you wonder how many members of the public are taken in by the cult’s hidden propaganda.

      Reply
      • Jere Lull says

        October 1, 2021 at 10:16 pm

        The enterprise calling itself scientology manipulates EVERYTHING and ANYONE they can gain access to, fraudulently, more often than not.

        Reply
  14. Loosing my Religion says

    September 30, 2021 at 9:06 am

    As usual they are groping in their nonsense on how to sell scn.
    The very true simplest secret to disseminate or generate interest to anyone about anything is …. no I won’t reveal it, scn could use it!
    They can keep digging for “ruins” on anybody they meet.

    I see a lot of people from EU going to South Africa instead of DK or UK.
    That’s funny too.

    Reply
  15. dr mac says

    September 30, 2021 at 8:57 am

    It’s odd. I live in Joburg South Africa and not one of the people I have ever seen listed as a completion at AO Africa do I recognise.

    Reply
    • Loosing my Religion says

      September 30, 2021 at 11:00 am

      Dr mac. The reason could be that the most of their public in the shots are from Europe and Russia.
      In fact a friend of mine (unfortunately still inside) told me that he would go AO Africa to do OT3.
      I don’t know why, maybe they have better prices.

      Reply
      • ISNOINews says

        September 30, 2021 at 8:21 pm

        I’ve heard that AO Africa has better prices because of the exchange rate. I believe they even advertise that fact.

        /

        Reply
        • Loosing my Religion says

          September 30, 2021 at 9:39 pm

          Right. This is certainly the case and they promote it big time.

          Reply

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