The latest not to be shared email about the events in PAC next week.
Date: Thu, 20 Feb 2014
From: AOLA <[email protected]>
Subject: – From:JIMMY BENNETT
Please let me know that you are coming to the Grand Opening of the AOLA and ASHO.
This is on the 1st of March 14. The time that it is looking to be at is around 1:00 PM.
It was going to be at 6pm but its possible that it may change to 1 pm.
Keep your ears open for the final time.
Confirm your attendance even though we cannot tell you WHEN it will be. Do you need a babysitter or not? Dinner? Lunch? Anything else at all happening on Saturday? Don’t worry about all those MEST considerations. Just make it go right (like we aren’t able to do to even give a time) and BE THERE.
And by the way, keep your ears open. So you can hear more announcements about how we don’t know when it is really going to be.
Miscavige’s personal staff are desperately trying to finalize his pedicure, massage, tanning bed session and TV watching schedule for that day and when they get that nailed down and presented to him and he has approved it he will then let everyone know when he will be available to appear before the adoring masses to re-re-cut the ribbon and bask in the glory he so rightly deserves as the leader of the fastest growing religion in history. There is also the problem of when they can get permission to close off the street and erect a barrier so none of the unwashed can get a glimpse of His Awesomeness. And scheduling the armed guards, bomb-sniffing dogs and armored vehicles to ensure His safety (after all, Pope’s have to have protection).
Oooooh. The anticipation. The excitement. It’s almost palpable. Dear Leader is making an appearance in PAC.
Prepare to be underwhelmed.