Scientology is patting itself on the back following the 34th annual IAS event.
A few morsels of mulleted magnificence to set the scene — and this was just the preamble to get to the actual avent:
East Grinstead appears as if from a storybook, a medieval marketplace…
…wave upon wave of attendees, their anticipation abounding.
…the crunch of stone and gravel below boots and high heels echoed down the drive, dusk turned to night and an evening of wonder was now poised to begin.
It was the typical stream of adjectival excess that sprang forth in the strange cadence of the one True Leader.
“As is traditional, tonight’s the night we traverse 24-thousand miles of our IAS country and thereby track every vector of planetary salvage,”
“Our bid to rid this world of drug abuse, our human rights mandate, and the same again for morality as promulgated by the 21 precepts of The Way to Happiness. The point being, do you honestly believe that history must always rhyme with misery? And that conflict and injustice are inevitable? Well, L. Ron Hubbard never thought so and nor does the IAS.”
History rhymes with misery?
As always, they spin the fairy tale that the IAS was founded at Saint Hill “to unite, advance, support and protect Scientologists and the Scientology religion so as to achieve the Aims of Scientology.” The real truth, that the IAS was formed to keep money outside the US and the reach of the IRS (or in fact, the jurisdiction of any government). Formed under European association law it was established in Cyprus to collect funds from scientology organizations outside the US and keep it there.
The IAS had NO role in the “Portland Crusade”, but it has become scientology “truth” that it did. It has been repeated often enough that scientologists believe this with all their hearts. Just like they now believe David Miscavige was selected by L. Ron Hubbard as his chosen successor. Far from it. Jesse Prince’s book The Expert Witness lays out the real story.
But back to the hype for this year:
“Mr. Miscavige outlined a year of outstanding successes powered by an irrepressible force where all advances are aligned toward humanitarian salvage and expansion.”
And the BIG accomplishment? The “historic grand opening of a stunning new Church of Scientology [building] in Stuttgart” Miscavige sneaked into Germany, apparently afraid of announcing his presence beforehand. He yanked his ribbon and vanished again in a puff of smoke, or maybe he ducked back behind the green curtain. Odd that he was in Germany for the first time since 1991 and he didn’t pay a visit to the long-suffering Munich org just down the autobahn. Or Frankfurt or Düsseldorf a short drive to the north. Actually it seems scientology’s capo wont go near any scientology org unless it’s to yank his ribbon. He has never visited his sad little outposts in Brighton or Plymouth either though always has time for a fitting at John Lobb in London when he visits St. Hill.
But back to the amazing accomplishments “thanks to legendary support” from the IAS. Another of the big lies scientology perpetrates. The amount of money they spend on these “campaigns” is miniscule.
And here are the biggest lies of all:
The night continued on an upward trajectory, soaring over a landscape filled with humanitarian accomplishment
- United for Human Rights staging rallies and events in locations worldwide, including Mexico, The Gambia, India, Taiwan, Washington, D.C. and at the UN Headquarters in New York City—representing a global movement dedicated to building “a fair and free world.”
- Fair and free for whom? Certainly not anyone who disagrees with scientology.
- In Costa Rica, where the Youth for Human Rights booklet became an official publication of the country’s World Cup soccer team, spawning a movement through all 82 districts, reaching 2 million people in totality.
- Someone better alert the Costa Rican soccer team! You can bet they have NO CLUE they are being featured at a scientology event.
- The Way to Happiness Nepal empowering over 100,000 students with the 21 precepts, effecting a significant drop in school bullying and resulting in a governmental partnership with the nation’s schools.
- A significant drop in school bullying? Is this like the 50% reduction in the crime rate of Colombia?
- Drug-Free World Malaysia touring under a Punk Rock anthem, “Do Music, Not Drugs,” and replaying to thousands of local students and 1.2 million citizens, altogether inspiring a plunge in drug-related crime.
- A Punk Rock “anthem” playing on the radio caused a plunge in drug-related crime? Riiiight….
- Drug-Free World marches and events in South Africa and across the continent distributing nearly 140,000 The Truth About Drugs booklets; drug-free pledge drives amassing 50,000 signatures in Colombia; Drug-Free World teams blanketing Super Bowl 52 in Minnesota, USA, with 230,000 booklets; and at the FIFA World Cup in Russia spreading over half a million booklets from the Black Sea to the Red Square; altogether disseminating more than 15 million The Truth About Drugs booklets across 19 time zones of Earth in the past year.
- Wonder if they ever count the number of them that end up in the trash? Even more, wonder about how much money they collected for these things and how much they spent. I bet they collected 10X what they spent.
- The Scientology Volunteer Ministers (VMs) aiding in disasters around the world, including at earthquakes in Taiwan, monsoons in Nepal, typhoons in Japan and fires in Greece as well as across California.
- 3 people and a camera crew at a time.
- In Puerto Rico, after the deadly Hurricane Maria hit the island dead-on, Volunteer Ministers arrived immediately to deliver more than 150,000 vital supplies and subsequently drove a “do-it-yourself” solar power movement to light up some 300,000 homes.
- What does 150,000 vital supplies mean? This is the total number of Q-tips in 1,000 boxes they handed out?
- In total, Scientology Volunteer Ministers traveled 640,000 miles to bring succor to over 5 million people hit by natural and man-made disasters.
- Well, that is weird. I figured I have traveled almost 70,000 miles myself this year flying between home and Los Angeles. So I have accomplished more than 10% of the largest private relief force on earth?
This year’s recipients of the three IAS Freedom Medals stood tall, underscoring the evening’s theme of relentless devotion toward the achievement of peace, education, decency, social justice and a drug-free and crime-free existence across the planet. Mr. Miscavige introduced each one individually, and a special video presentation punctuated their unflinching commitment to humanity:
Blah, blah, blah.
At which point, a night packed full with purpose and passion hit maximum volume as Mr. Miscavige previewed the Scientology Network’s bold new chapter with the announcement of the Fall Season premiere, Monday, October 8. Dozens of new episodes will showcase every aspect of the world’s youngest major religion and its global humanitarian mission over the coming months. In fact, since launch on March 12, 2018, the Scientology Network has been viewed across 237 countries and territories worldwide in 17 languages.
This was actually THE big news? Boy oh boy. Scraping the barrel. I bet my blog has been “viewed” across just as many countries and territories.
Nowhere does he EVER mention how many people actually TUNE IN to the Cult Shopping Network. They love to make fun of the “terrible ratings” of Scientology and The Aftermath. I bet ONE EPISODE of The Aftermath was seen by more people than the entire year of CSN “programming.” If the CSN is such a massive success, why not give the stats? There is nothing Miscavige likes more than announcing large numbers “we laid 4,875,348 1/2 inches of wire to make this state of the art studio a reality” or “we removed 437.3 specks of dust from each frame of this film, making a grand total of 754,829,442.9 specks removed for the whole film,” and “if you stacked them all end to end it would be taller than the Empire State building” blah blah blah. I know if they even had 100,000 viewers they would converting this into “equivalent the entire population of Wichita tuning in” or something. It must be DISMAL for the only stats to be the number of nations and territories that can access the internet.
The real astonishing accomplishment to be remarked upon here is that so many people sit mesmerized by the bright lights, loud explosion noises and droning hypnotic voice of True Leader, clapping like seals swallowing the stinky fish tossed at them from the gaudy stage.
THAT is truly amazing.