Another provocative essay from Brian Lambert.
MILESTONES (LIES) THAT BUILT MY SCIENTOLOGY PERSONALITY: HOW TO SLOW BOIL A FROG
This essay seeks to remember and reveal, for myself, the building blocks (words of Ron and experiences in the group) that built my mindset whereby clearing the planet (delusion) and selling Scientology (Ron’s suitcases to Luxembourg) became more important than loyalty to family, personal nurturing, acquiring life skills, loyalty to friends and getting a “wog” education. Moments when I gave my trust to Ron. Basics on the chain that creates believing.
At some point the words of L Ron Hubbard became more prominent than my own common sense. My common sense was slowly deranged over time by the words of an articulate manipulating madman. I worked and sacrificed my life for a planet without insanity while Ron ordered suitcases of cash to offshore accounts to hide from the taxman. Apparently a cleared planet had two different meanings. His was NOT ours.
My sincere but delusional goals of working for a cleared planet, was Ron’s secured source of income. With spiritual fervor and a sense of militaristic immediacy, moral imperative and moral superiority, I sacrificed my life and mental health to the mental delusions of a Malignant Narcissist.
BTW a Malignant Narcissist is when a Narcissistic & Antisocial Personality Disorder collides.
Thank you to that professor on Aftermath for his diagnosis. I completely agree with him. (Please see links to definitions at the end of this essay).
I was totally deceived, on purpose, by one of the greatest “religious” conmen that I’ve ever seen. I am experiencing emotions that I am finally revealing to myself. The full capacity of that deception is still being uncovered by me after 35 years. These blogs have really helped me. Thank you Mike and Marty.
I get a sick feeling in my stomach and heart when I embrace the level of deception that the words of Ron brought into my life. I feel like a fool sometimes, embarrassed to look at what idiocy became my “point of view”. Yet, the embracing, looking and dismantling of my naive foolishness is at the same time part of my healing; seeing things as they are. Embracing what is.
Embracing what is requires a deep level of constructive self criticism and observation, with mind and emotions; directly seeing the foundational basis of thoughts and feelings which creates my reality.
These entries below are some of my building blocks of Hubbardisms that led to the slowly boiled frog called me. I was in the bubble for 11 years of my life. I would love to hear what Hubbard writings you can name as basic steps to Ron’s hypno cult mindset that you assumed as a Scientology personality.
MILESTONES OF FALSE AND DECEPTIVE KNOWLEDGE:
THE PINCH TEST: This action is one of my first entry level experiences that makes emeter infallibility credible. This is the first of the Scientological indoctrinations that put the emeter senior to my own ability to think for myself. Then I thought, “wow, the emeter and Ron know things about me that I don’t”. That moment is one of my earliest moments of sacrificing my reasoning powers at the Hubbard shrine of make believe. The pinch test was a key moment for me. Sure, there were times the emeter got it right. But my mind is not a game of Russian Roulette.
THE COMMUNICATION COURSE: The Comm Course is the sheep’s disguise hiding the wolf waiting “up the bridge”. Who here has not felt an increase of confidence in communication by drilling TRs? The Comm Course taught me how to listen and help people. Increasing communication skills gave me supreme confidence that Ron’s Scientology is benevolent. I then assumed that all of Scientology would be positive and healing. This was the entry down the rabbit hole of unverified assumptions that became the walls of my self imposed thought prison. I trusted Hubbard. First mistake. Once he had my trust I was toast.
THE FUNDAMENTALS OF THOUGHT: (link to pdf at end of essay) This entry level Scientology book hooked me in chapter one called “The Vital Statistics of Scientology: What is Scientology.” On the first page of chapter one Ron says this one line that was another push, for me, down the rabbit hole. Speaking on the greatness of Scientology he says,
“It is a precise and exact science, designed for an age of exact sciences”.
He isolates this sentence by giving it it’s own space on the page, separating out from other paragraphs. Another hook. Another lie. Who would not want to be part of the latest and greatest of anything!
On page two of The Fundamentals of Thought Hubbard turns up the voltage on his implant machine’s brain reprograming feature:
“Tens of thousands of case histories (reports on persons who have been processed, individual records) all sworn to (attested before public officials), are in the possession of the organizations of Scientology. No other subject on earth except physics and chemistry has had such gruelling testing (proofs, exact findings). Scientology in the hands of an expert (Auditor) can restore man’s ability to handle any and all of his problems. Scientology is used by some of the largest companies (business organizations) on Earth. It is valid. It has been tested. It is the only thoroughly tested system of improving human relations, intelligence and character, and is the only one which does”.
Now, not only am I toast but Ron just buttered it. That lying SOB manipulated me with lies. I really thought he was the real deal. I trusted him. Why would I not?
This false knowledge, accepted as true, was a fundamental building block to my vulnerable susceptibility to the other lies waiting “up the bridge”.
Once Ron is granted his unique messiah status the slow boil sucked the life out of the frog. This is pure advertising fraud. No wonder he was always hiding. He was always lying. Look up the definition of a Malignant Narcissist.
HYMN OF ASIA: I read Hymn of Asia very early on when I was still on the fence about staying in Scientology. This was a time in our culture, late sixties early seventies, especially in New York and Los Angeles, where eastern mysticism was weaving into the fabric of our culture thanks to the Beatles. Many hippies split off from the drug scene and gravitated towards a healthy yogic lifestyle. I think Ron knew this and cashed in on it. Just like he did with “research” in The Fundamentals of Thought; lie. He targeted the countless boomers looking for transcendence. In this book he claims to be the predicted prophet of the Buddha; Meitreya. This lie worked on me. I decided then and there that I would work for this man and help clear the planet. “So lucky” I thought, to be serving an incarnated Buddha. I was gamed big time.
There are so many more milestones to be revealed for me. But if you feel its ok I’d love to hear your moments that made you believe. Also I would like to thank Mike for allowing me this forum. These things I’ve written about are things that stay with me for days sometimes. Then an idea pops up and I have to write. This process has helped me clear myself from lurking subconscious Scientology habits. I hope what I write makes sense and is helpful.
Please tell me your milestones to believing. I would like to learn from you. And don’t forget the links below. Thank you so much.
Brian Thomas Lambert