You can pay money to hear from the guy who had 3 wives (though claimed he had no second wife), married while still married to another woman, beat his wife and disowned his own child and in the end abandoned them all.
LRH is held out in scientology as the paragon of virtuous family man… The bubble=dwellers just accept this as “fact.” In all things LRH was beyond reproach. So much so that his words on any subject are considered to be unalterable and life-saving truth. Even on subjects where he was clearly NOT a model for anyone to pattern their lives on.
Forget Margaret (Polly) and Sara, even Mary Sue ended up abandoned and alone after taking the fall for Hubbard. Hardly a wonderful marriage — him living in a bus in Creston, her living under virtual house arrest in Los Angeles, with Miscavige spies in her home to report on her 24/7.
And yet, here we have his words being offered to the world — for a price of course (what happened to his famous words “the work was free, keep it so”?).
If these words of wisdom truly do what is claimed, then David Miscavige could use some of this….
I agree with the poster…it takes work…but methinks he didn’t take his own advice!
Wrytur man says
Guess OSA missed scrubbing my comment on YouTube Co$ marriage vid:
“Gee..I had to disconnect from my wife when she was declared…at least I don’t have to put with her endless nattering about some Aftermath tv show!”
Report to Ethics at once!
According to Scientology publications, L. Ron Hubbard was a master recording engineer. He was such an expert; it took him 30 years to record a few thousand lectures about an hour or so long. He was such an expert that it only took teams in upwards of 50-100 different people 30 more years to locate these recordings, preserve and salvage the horrible recordings he did into something that could be understood and reproduced.
Hubbard was also a self proclaimed master music composer, musician and keyboard/organ player. This is obviously evident from the amount of people that have him on their playlist right now and he many #1 hits he has in this arena (ZERO).
Supposedly, he was also a master filmmaker. He was such a master filmmaker that he spent a decade or so running and directing a film crew to shoot a dozen films that could be shown in Scientology locations around the world. Of all these films he shot, EVERY SINGLE ONE had to be reshot later on, and footage from only one of the many films he shot might still be playing in Scientology organizations today.
The worst B-movie you have ever seen was most likely BETTER than anything that Master Hubbard shot.
Hubbard was a master at spotting Suppressives. Hubbard wrote the book on SPs and how to spot them. He really did. It is called the Ethics Book and it is all about SPs. Where they live, how they act, how they smell, what kind of things they say, you name it. Hubbard was so sure of who were and were not SPs that he stated that 2.5 percent of people were SPs. PERIOD. If you had a 100 people 2.5% of these folks were suppressive.
Just about all of the people that Hubbard personally taught how to spot SPs, well they turned out later to be SPs themselves.
His personal assistants, stewards, messengers, executives that worked directly with him for decades. Most of these people were later declared Suppressive.
The people he put in charge of smoking out SPs – you guessed it – turned out later to be SPs.
Even the people that were supposed to put the materials together on how to spot SPs – SPs as well.
He had three wives – all of them were SPs. One even went to jail for doing things that were determined suppressive by Scientology.
He had kids that were SPs.
The last people that took care of him right before he died were SPs.
If you made a list of all the people that worked with Hubbard directly over the course of his time in Scientology, you’d be lucky to come up with 2.5 % that were NOT suppressive. Nearly everyone in his life later turned out to be Suppressive according to Scientology.
This is the same guy that is the EXPERT on spotting and handing SPs?
The ONLY thing that Hubbard proved to be a master at was bullshit. He wrote fiction novels and made money. In the end these were him bullshitting and putting it into written form. He never stopped bullshitting people. He figured out how to get paid for bullshitting and never stopped doing that – ever. Right up until the day he died, this dude was a Master Bullshitter.
As far as I know, he could not be considered a master at anything in any field by any of his peers except for the field of bullshitting. I guarantee you that the top Bullshitters in the world would ALL agree that Hubbard was a master at this without question.
Joe Pendleton says
Ron’s handwriting was incorrectly transcribed … What he ACTUALLY wrote was that only 2.5% of the people on the planet are NOT sp’s. ( he was the originator of the concept, keep your friends close and your enemies closer)
As far as hit songs go … Didn’t he write Love Potion #9 back in the 60s?
No he wrote the first rap song:
“They’re Coming to Take Me Away ho,ho, hee, hee, ha,ha
to the funny farm…… of SP’s”
How they *smell*? Did he say we smell of antique Shalimar?
Churches of any kind if they know about abuse & doesn’t help or do anything they should be ashamed of Not helping and allows abuse to Cont w/o calling the Police should be ashamed & those who Hide it that’s Disturbing yet Sct seems to be a pattern of abuse which IMO it’s used to control ppl add some Fear so this just makes all I’ve heard about this false church make sense get enough abuse your own shadow can scare you & you loose who you are 2nd guess what you do + you have ppl telling on each other like children don’t wanna get parents angry don’t want that whooping latter & I wouldn’t be surprised if this Group hasn’t don’t worse to there ppl & No-One has the Right to Hit You,Lock U up if your a real criminal & gone before a Real Judge & locked up that’s one thing but any other thing is Not Legal DM & his Cronies are plain Criminals under DM’s rule & The Freedom of Religion is one thing but pretty sure that meant a real Bible & i’s teachings to be part of it NOT just a Cross smh.I’d Love to see this Cult Sued & Shut Down & pay back to all to the ppl he’s Hurt & Harmed & all the insane contracts be Null & VOID & send him to Prison for a Million years + Tear down his prisons make housing for those ppl so they can have free housing & Free those ppl w paid therapy as long as they need it’s the very Least for ppl in cults esp abusive ones & make Scientology a thing that died with RLH….
Miscarriage = Total short man syndrome; egomaniac in every sense; maniac in most cases; ego maniac fits; idiot fits also
LRH = Miscarriages adult behavior so……yeah Ron is NOT the guy to begin, help in the middle or end your marriage reading or listening along with.
DM was created by LRon’s words and actions. The sick little midget was CREATED BY RON. We all need to remember this important point.
I highly doubt Miscavige would have been an angel if he had never crossed paths with scientology.
He’s a psychopath in his own right.
He just found extra fertilizer in Scn.
Jere Lull (38 years recovering.) says
“but if you lock your wife away in a secluded facility, a marriage can definitely be plastered over” ESPECIALLY when there’s a replacement chick ‘assisting’ him so in many ways
Been thinking(yeah, I know, BAD idea): what’s to stop Davie-boy from divorcing Shelly and maintaining his home life unchanged. She’s no longer mysteriously MISSING , but starting a new single life sans DM, nothing unusual there. He can still have the best of both WORLDS (or multiple, if he’s UP to it) and the question dogging him about Shelly goes away. The fear I then get is that Shelly would go the way her mom did those years ago , a horrifyingly botched, PAINFUL “suicide”. My perception is that DM’s NOT too inventive, but just keeps doing what’s apparently served him in the past
For COB, Shelly’s a tiger by the tail. Can’t keep her, can’t let her go. Of course, he alone created this situation but hey, what else is new?
A nasty divorce could produce demands for asset disclosure, likely something the dwarf would find uncomfortable.
I don’t think Shelly has much fight in her. I may be wrong, but unless she is taken away from the environment she’s currently in, she wouldn’t fight him if he divorced her IMO.
Have a look at the biography, about the editor John W. Campbell Jr., “Astounding” by Alec Nevala-Lee. It has some interesting, and unsavoury, things to say about Campbell, Asimov, Heinlein, Hubbard and Dianetics.
It has some amazing disclosures about those early days. Highly recommended.
I Yawnalot says
I’ll quote Hubbard on this one, “look, don’t listen.”
After 30 something years of digesting Scientology, after listening to countless lectures and years of auditing/training it is my firm opinion that all of Hubbard’s relationships were purely on a one way flow basis. He was definitely a scoundrel, or in an easier to grasp term, a true asshole of a man & a rotten officer! MIscavige I believe is even worse, he really enjoys causing pain on others.
Hubbard very much operated on the “wow factor” with all that he did, hence the never ending “research” and the endless “breakthroughs” were always introduced to be one step ahead of a stagnated subject & him being exposed as a fraud. He may have been deluded in believing his own “genius” and it was certainly bolstered by the money accumulated but the cows have definitely come home with Scientology. Geezers, KSW1 was written in 1965! Yet how many changes have been made since then? There is no such thing as “standard technology.” Yet for a long, long time we believed their was. How many times were the buzz words like streamlined, breakthrough, recent discovery etc etc used on us? Then the avalanches of excuses of squirrelism, commas out of place, SPs on lines, put back to pure LRH etc used to cover up failures of expansion and lack of results. The whole system is geared to make anyone wrong if they dared question work-ability, no matter how many abuses accompanied the subject. Hubbard’s destructive formula for control went on for decades. His ace up his sleeve was the SO and he played it very cunningly.
My goodness, talk about the elephant in the room!
Remarkable scam Scientology, I’m so glad the truth about it has caught up and overtaken the bullshit inherent in the subject. I find it hard to assimilate the extensive damage Scientology does to relationships and family but it is quite real if you dare to look & not listen.
Ms. B. Haven says
“Look, don’t listen.” The only Hubbard quote worth repeating and applying. It’s the crack that lets the light in a very dark room that has allowed many of us to be brave enough to walk away from this mind fuck of a cult. If I were a gambler I’d bet the ol’ grifter even “borrowed” that line.
I believe the somewhat old-fashioned terms “cad” and “bounder” apply to Elron quite well and should be brought back into usage. “Dog” is so over-used.
Practically both leaders are liars, and consequently cowards.
Can we put a few bucks on account for Husband of the Century, David Miscavige, to take these courses?
Mat Pesch says
Maybe the most telling account is how Hubbard reacted to hearing that his son committed suicide. He got mad and said something like “Now look what he did to me.” Hubbard was upset by the negative PR it would cause him instead of feeling the painful emotion of having a son commit suicide.
I Yawnalot says
Yes, telling isn’t it?
It could be suggested that both Hubbard & MIscavige take refuge in the departing of personnel, especially the ones closely associated with them who simply ‘know or have observed too much.’
Nothing is more despicable imo than those types who attack others, especially those loyal to them, to cover their tracks. If one looks at what both Hubbard & Miscavige have done to their own families in the name of Scientology, how would they treat the general population if given the chance – geezers, enough said!
It does take a little doing, and a little guts, but if you lock your wife away in a secluded facility, a marriage can definitely be plastered over.
John Doe says
OK, off the topic of marriage but this post prompted a response about another area of Hubbard’s supposed expertise—film making.
Hubbard fancied himself a motion picture director—even went so far as to dress up in a cape and used a bullhorn and such. It was all pageantry to him, a narcissistic self-love fest confirming how great he was at everything. He’d worked out how to save the universe, how hard could it be to direct a film?
Only problem was, when you actually looked at these films he directed, they were so corny, they made John Waters look like Orson Welles.
This fact crashed into Hubbards narcissistic self delusion, creating a cognitive dissonance in him and to obtain some relief from that of course he blamed “Cine”, his young sea org crew that he’d roped into helping him with these films. Why we couldn’t be trained, why we couldn’t do anything right, how we were sabotaging his efforts, how nobody listened to him, how nobody read the books that he read (and thus became “a professional in every department” —seriously, he said this)
Similar to the outlandish claims of the abilities of a Clear in Dianetics, once these films were shot, Hubbard was then committed to making them somehow be good—what he envisioned they would be. Thus, the inherent problem of poor quality became the fault of the editing department—the films couldn’t be edited competently, and his ire was subsequently directed squarely at the editing department. He even threatened to “take his name off the films” if the editing department didn’t get their shit together. Obviously just more sabotage of Hubbard’s efforts.
Hubbard’s messengers piled on of course, vilifying Cine at every opportunity as well. Pretty soon the Cine organization was but one step up from intergalactic psychs. OK maybe I exaggerate, but really it wasn’t a fun place to be.
From various accounts, it seems likely that Hubbard suffered a serious personal decline at that time due to the crap that spooled off the film projector failing to match his self-image as a great film auteur.
(As a sidenote, when Miscavage later had all of Hubbard’s films more professionally remade, I secretly applauded, knowing it might help keep Hubbard‘s reputation and the organization from embarrassment. Miscavige’s success in this I believe opened the door for Miscavage to think that he could improve on Hubbard on general and years later, we have things like the golden age of tech, blah blah)
I remember at one point, there was an effort to get Hubbard’s film “Man the Unfathomable” into the Cannes film festival. Such was the depth of Hubbard’s delusion.
Was it any wonder that most of the Cine crew was, indeed, disaffected?
Ann Davis says
Thank you John Doe! Absolutely fascinating .
The scripts for those training films were unbelievably corny. I assume Hubbard wrote them.
I particularly remember the mathematician in a white coat obsessively scribbling meaningless equations on a board and the psychiatrist infiltrating the lecture on E-meters. This was such awful writing that I squirmed with embarrassment on each occasion I had to see it.
With writing like this, there was no way these training films could ever be very good.
I remember going to an event back in the day where some speaker was saying that Hubbard had a reached professional standard in no less than 18 different disciplines.
This wasn’t the kind of thing I ever cared about one way or the other but I thought this was rubbish even at the time.
I thought some of his old Science Fiction was pretty decent, especially Final Blackout, Typewriter in the Sky and Fear. A lot of the rest of it was pretty run-of-the-mill though.
In the Orgs when I was on staff, we all had the benefit of listening to Hubbard’s musical compositions all day. Pretty ghastly stuff!
I Yawnalot says
“In the Orgs when I was on staff, we all had the benefit of listening to Hubbard’s musical compositions all day. Pretty ghastly stuff!”
It makes mall music at Christmas time or ‘on hold digital music’ on the telephone a pleasure.
John Doe says
Yes, Hubbard wrote all of the scripts. He’d dash them off, then subsequently “bill” the Scientology organization (possibly C of S of California?) around 100,000.00 per script. Might have been more. This is one of the creative ways Hubbard siphoned money from the organization and into his pocket.
Well, don’t forget that Miscavige also fancied himself a great director and had his hand in every part of the fabulous Battlefield Earth!
John Doe says
Indeed. When I saw battlefield earth, I could see certain shots and sequences that were in the film based on some kind of cooked up survey such as, “what was the most memorable or best scene in Star Wars?”
I don’t know for sure that this survey happened because I wasn’t involved in the production but I would give odds it occurred. It was so blatantly obvious when I saw the film.
If anyone has this lying around in their garage, COB would love love love a holiday gift.
And, to be kind, so would Tom Cruise.
Ms. B. Haven says
And don’t forget about Shelly. Shelly could certainly use some ‘standard 2D tech’ to help her reach out to Dave in an effective way to rekindle their loving bond.
Perfect Scientology logic “I did not have a second wife.” Of course he did. He claims it was not Sara, then it was Mary Sue. Unless he skipped 2 the way some elevators skip 13.
To be fair to the gregarious goofball… isn’t it possible that even though he was a demonstrably bad, uncaring, cold, neglectful, narcissistic husband, he could still write a great book on marriage?
“How to establish and broaden good communication”. Getting your communicator to get in com with their communicator.
James Rosso says
Yes, of course…but that would require doing ~research.~ Something he was constitutionally incapable of doing, which even a cursory glance at his work shows. I have no doubt that this work was dictated from a different orifice, just like all his other works.
Ned McCrink says
Laughed at “Gregarious Goofball”.
My ex-husband and I had scientology marriage counseling and stayed together for two more years. What a mistake.
He still beat me. He still cheated on me.
We are divorced and have been now for 35 years.
Some things are not worth plastering together, and LRH was the epitome of a bad husband. If you are courageous (translation foolhardy) enough to follow LRH’s marriage advice, be prepared to endure the type of marital bliss his first, non-existent second and third wife did.
Duped by L Ron Hubbard & his religion - Scientrickery says
One of the most painful moments of realizing one has been duped, lied to and tricked beyond belief by L Ron Hubbard and his religion – Scientology – is seeing THAT photo of L Ron Hubbard and reading the truth about just how crazy he was and how he destroyed every family he created.
That is why I call it Scientrickery.
L Ron Hubbard was a nut and he fooled us all.
I hope you lurkers and OSA Scientologists look at the truth and then decide for yourselves.
You won’t get any worse once you know the truth. The truth hurts but it will set you free. Get off the Scientological hampster wheel.
You are wasting your precious life peddling and defending Scientology.
Luckily I didn’t need marriage counseling after my forced abortion.
The father got a ruds session and was cured of his HE&R.
I got sent to session, then ethics, then threatened with cert pulls, and eventually became the enemy they created.
Forced abortion. I had an abortion and a miscarriage. That would have been close to 40 years ago. Still bites me in the brain sometimes. There is nothing that they can do that can fix the minds they mess up by forcing them to think things they know are not right. At one point, they will snap and bam! it will bite the keeper in the ass.
Ex Wife of a Scientologist Dentist says
Heh Victoria – I did not need marriage counseling either because Scientology ruined our marriage.
Scientology was the conflict in my marriage we could never solve.
I was the “SP” in my ex husbands life.
He is a dentist and has two Scientolgist’s working for him.
They are on the OT 7 or 8 levels and they helped convince him I am SP. So does L Ron Hubbard’s policies.
Well, I am SP.
Scientology creates SP’;s – people hate Scientology because they lie.
Scientology rips off our money, ruined our family and hijacked my ex husbands mind.
I hate Scientology and so do my kids.
For any lurkers out there – Scientology is the 3rd party to any conflict you have in your life.
Yeah, and don’t you love it when one “terminal” threatens you with a declare for dev t-ing someone’s bridge with your bothersome condition and the next “terminal” says abortions are suppressive, so declare is imminent.
Sort of a special $cientology Sophie’s Choice.
“I’ll not always be here on guard – frankly I’m sick and tired of the whole lot of you. The stars twinkle in the Milky Way (love those candy bars!) and the wind sighs for songs across the empty fields of a planet a galaxy away. Pretty poetic, huh?
You won’t always be here. Thank God!
But before you go, whisper this to your sons and their sons, (that is, if they’re not all declared): The work was rigged. Keep it so.”
El Con Hubbard
Forever Lurker says
Mike, your post has some appropriate brevity and grit. Short and sweet with brutal honesty.
That’s the way to get a proper message communicated and out there. Bravo. Hope to see more.
The only narrative that’s really truthful — and I hope you punch this up on The Aftermath — is:
1. Man invents fake science of the mind and spirit.
2. Science does not solve mental problems of the man himself.
3. Man spirals into dementia later in life.
4. Man elects to go the assisted suicide route at the end.
5. Loyal adherents hide this fact and carry on as if nothing untoward has happened.
Forever Lurker says
Mike, I have an idea for a post, or better yet, an episode of The Aftermath.
By 1986-88, Miscavige and Mithoff, at least, knew that Hubbard went down hard, that factually there were no upper OT levels, and perhaps much of the Bridge was a scam. (Mithoff had to invent an OT8 to keep the complaining OT7 mobs at bay.)
In order to keep things going, Miscavige had to very quickly cover up details about Hubbard’s final years and create a series of narratives or shore stories to feed to the masses, lest they all be found out about and the entire COS collapse at that time.
Miscavige, and others possibly, sat around for the next few years and invented lie after lie, one false narrative after the next. It would be very interesting to hear about all the machinations and palace intrigues that went on back then and who was actually responsible and how exactly they did it.
How the imaginative stories and delusions of one man, Hubbard, were given an extended life and a much more profitable one, by his perfect successor and heir to the throne, Miscavige. A man who could tell lies with equal aplomb as Hubbard and who was equally greedy: power and money are all that matter. And how did people sit around and not notice this happening?
Do you know anyone who was there and who you could interview about the secret inner workings of this “perfect transition” of a con from a dying and delusional old man to younger and equally ruthless one.
The only person I’ve heard speak about this with authority and total bluntness is Bill Franks. May he rest in peace.
I think digging into some of this “ancient history” would give people a hard lesson about how these extended cons and Ponzi schemes are kept going for so long.
This is the real story (basic-basic) people need to hear, whether they’re ready for it or not.
The truth will set you free . . . as I’ve been told.
PS: Two movies were done about the inner “back room” workings and lies of the Bernie Madoff scheme. And the various people responsible. Viewers are interested in this stuff. How others get conned. How it’s done. How the fake stories are invented and promulgated. At the genus; at the source; early on.
Peggy L says
I finally give up trying to understand LRH except to just know that he was a pathetic little human who, if given the chance, would have been happy to have ruined billions of lives if it satisfied his lust for money and power. Fortunately he stroked out before he had a chance to destroy more people, and fortunately, even though his little pathetic apprentice wannabe tries, he will be what brings down this cult. He just doesn’t have the juice.
Scientology will cost you your life, your loved ones and ensure your financial ruin, and that’s an understatement if I ever made one.
Totally true, and thank you for pointing all this out, Scribe, but keep in mind there’s a negative side too, you know.
Mark Foster says
Yes! That comment gets a rim shot, some cowbell, a hint of wah wah guitar, AND banjo!
It reminds me of this line from Hunter S. Thompson:
” The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s
also a negative side. “
LOL, Mark. Coincidence Alert and Full disclosure: This quote about the music business is well known to me. An old friend of mine, a musician, told it to me 5 years ago and I’ve since “made it my own” to apply to other situations 🙂
“the work was free, keep it so”?. The work may have been free (and worth every penny) but Lron was the first in line for any and all payments. He had millions when he died and at one time had 3 ocean going big ships in his name. If that isn’t rich, what is?
Lron was the ‘lying liar who lies’, now and forever.
Shirley Ann Hubbert says
When i hear the word Plaster ..i think of it in relation to Home Improvement .like hanging wallpaper or preparing a house for painting..
Not in a personal sense. Relating to anything Human
Au contraire, just the other day, I saw a few humans who were very plastered after a day of libations. Maybe that’s what he meant by plaster it together – get drunk together then maybe you won’t care?
Shirley Ann Hubbert says
Good point Valerie
The church of “do as we say, not as we do”
Gordon Weir says
I was going to post the same thing.
Marie Guerin says
In all the years I was in , I haven’t known a single couple with a loving , healthy marriage.
Couldn’t understand it at the time . But scientology creates narcissistic , selfish individuals who are forbidden to talk about what is important to them.
One could say that the secret is to care more about the other than one cares about himself or herself , but the bridge takes the place of this thought. Care about the bridge first , preferably your own.
And who will pay for it ? That’s a huge added stress on the marriage .
That is what this seminar will stress , become more able as a team to go up the bridge , to hell with love and all the nonsense. Not important .
Oh , and sex is just an implant sometimes on the track. I was actually told that one.
Neither did I ever see a healthy, happy marriage when I was in, which was for nearly 25 years. The marriages I observed were transactional marriages of convenience.
Although for many years I THOUGHT i was looking at marriages made in heaven.
I was fooled for a long time because these people – staff, mostly, but some fellow public like myself – were so good at acting happy/ Now, this sort of an act put on by married couples is not unique to Scientologists, but the Scientologists I knew took the act to whole new levels.
They were SO happy, with themselves and each other, and everything was just great and their relationships were terrific, thanks to the tech! Sure they had their differences but really everything was swell,, all was just as fine as could possibly be because any problems they encountered could ALWAYS be worked out by using the tech!
Then one day they got divorced.
Which seemed kind of non-sequitur after all these years of swellness and just fine-ness so you’d offer some sympathy.
But no! No sympathy necessary. On the contrary, the divorce was just fine!
They’d chirp back brightly that getting divorced had TOTALLY been the right thing to do, and the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics, and each of them, both spouses were completely fine with it.
And the kids were fine with it. And everyone in the families had been totally handled on the divorce and were fine with it. And everyone was just really happy, and fine!
And when they’d say this, they were EXTREMELY convincing.
Or maybe I was just naive, Whatever.
I’ll share with you that it took me 20 years to realize that these people had problems and relationships and in general lives that sucked far worse than mine ever had.
Mark Foster says
Huh? Irony? ??
Interesting, depending on your own personal point of view.
1) Is it better to be miserable alone
2) I’d rather be miserable with you .
It’s a two side coin, a double edge sword…………
Third side to the coin. Make your own happiness alone. It’s a great alternative. It took me 23 years to remarry after a scientology marriage. I discovered the joy of my own company and that I was actually a capable being in my own right. My second marriage, which I swore would never happen and took me totally by surprise is a completely different ball of wax.
“I discovered the joy of my own company…My second marriage, which I swore would never happen and took me totally by surprise is a completely different ball of wax.”
Against all odds, two huge, basic, lasting life wins. Great going, Valerie. Good job! 🙂
For whatever reason Valerie, some people are totally unable to find happiness for themselves. I have a mother in law like that. She had a wonderful husband, has loving wonderful sons & happy and successful grandchildren ( we daughter in laws have bent over backwards for her as well)
She is miserable alone and miserable when her family visits her. She “wants visitors”….but then it’s an attitude of “you can go now” after maybe 15 minutes or so Visiting her gives her the opportunity to IMPRESS her neighbors & now those she lives with in the nursing home…visiting makes it look like someone loves her & cares. After hearing many nasty words & name calling & abusiveness from her, not many of us care to be around her any longer & visits are limited or none at all. She has no REAL friends at the nursing home, no one will sit with her a breakfast, lunch or dinner or have anything to do with her because she is nasty & demanding….these old folks are wise to her ways. She will die a bitter nasty woman….alone.
As far as building happiness for yourself alone, some stay in the marriage because they are scared to death of living alone on their own, or that they’d never “find someone else” to share a life with. Like my mother in law….she just can never be happy & there are many people like that living in the same nursing home….the ones who have family who don’t visit.
I always thought it was God awful that a family could “abandon” more or less their mother/father in a nursing home & NOT have a desire to visit them…..until we were placed in the same shoes as those “never or limited visit people”……life’s a bitch sometimes.
@balletlady, I had a friend who was APPALLED when I told her I had been divorced for 23 years before remarrying. She said she hoped she didn’t have to wait that long. She divorced in 2009. Now in 2018 after looking for love in all the wrong places – seriously wrong places, she has looked inside her heart and found out how to love herself.
She has learned how to love living alone and make her own decisions. She also thinks that perhaps she will never remarry and that’s not a bad thing.
I know people who are unwilling to be happy, they blame everyone else for their unappiness. They will die lonely and alone even in a crowd. Whatever is wired in their brain is not something you can fix.
We are lucky that we can regularly my husband’s parents in the nursing home even though mom gets tired of us after 15 minutes because that’s about as long as she can concentrate on a conversation. She’s not mean, just confused, she thinks we are keeping her from mealtime, even if we show up 10 minutes after she ate. I am glad we can sit with them for hours and tell them we love them when we leave.
There is a man in the same nursing home who no one visits. If he was my father, I would not visit him either. He is mean to me when I go there and I don’t even know him.
Ann Davis says
Be happy alone! It’s so empowering. Then you are actually ready for love when you love yourself and are at peace and happy with who you are.
IndieScientologyNews (@IndieScieNews) says
O/T. The Federalist: How Scientology And The Nation Of Islam Formed A Bizarre And Dangerous Alliance.